Romcom tropes that are DEEPLY Problematic

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  • Опубликовано: 1 янв 2025
  • Hey, thanks for watching! Drop a like if you enjoyed and let me know what I should write my next video essay on.
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    #shorts #love #romance

Комментарии • 76

  • @Sushidogbat
    @Sushidogbat 14 дней назад +405

    Honestly if I was in a love triangle I would quit. Like if a guy have trouble between choosing me or another girl why would I want to be with him.

    • @stefanyalveslaurindo894
      @stefanyalveslaurindo894 7 дней назад +28

      Love triangle is just a cliché used to feed the ego of the protagonist and the reader.

    • @braa6014
      @braa6014 12 часов назад +1

      one thing I’ll always hate is a love triangle!! that & cheating in a romance movie is a big no for me!

    • @katherinarchives
      @katherinarchives Час назад

      agree, even from first person perspective. if i ever get myself into a love triangle (unfortunately i think i may have) i'd rather choose neither cuz, like you said, my feelings for both parties are not 100% certain or even true (i'm pretty much just switching the subjects of your comment but i hope you get what i meant 😅)

  • @LilShawty.1451
    @LilShawty.1451 21 день назад +354

    I love what you said about Grease! My friend had me watch it and I knew she loved it, and it really was a great movie; I just didn’t want to point out the fact that SANDY LITERALLY CHANGE WHO SHE WAS FOR THE GUY 😭

    • @rftg1793
      @rftg1793 19 дней назад +8

      Exactly!!!

    • @ulizez89
      @ulizez89 15 дней назад +24

      To be fair, the guy also changed who he was for the girl !!!!
      I know it's not the literal point, but the metaphor is more like you change yourself a little bit to accommodate your partner in relationship and the key is in finding the balance in it. But yeah, the literal reading is problematic.

    • @Mary-Vintage
      @Mary-Vintage 15 дней назад +20

      Danny also tried changing for Sandy! He becomes a jock because he continued to do track! That’s why he’s shown wearing a letterman jacket right before Sandy’s entrance. It’s subtle, but it’s there!

    • @Alex_Hue
      @Alex_Hue 13 дней назад +6

      The story & the musical is actually a parody of West Side Story. It’s satire and you are not supposed to take any of it seriously!

    • @GuhnomeArt
      @GuhnomeArt 10 дней назад +1

      When I watched it, my first reaction was ‘wtf :/‘ to that exactly

  • @bilgil_
    @bilgil_ 18 дней назад +157

    So refreshing seeing a guy covering romance

  • @MyraKhan-ex8db
    @MyraKhan-ex8db 19 дней назад +176

    Actually in the hunger games it started with gale thinking that Katniss and peeta’s starcrossed lover thing was fake bc it was. But she actually fell in love with Peeta later. And in the beginning of catching fire Katniss was gonna run off with gale but then she got chucked in the games and realised how much she needs peeta.But then Peeta gets brainwashed and at first Katniss goes to gale because she thinks Peeta is against her rebellion but then she finds out he’s brain washed and tries to get him rescued but gale thinks it’s a stupid idea, and insults Peeta making Katniss feel horrible. And Katniss doesn’t even realise how much she loves Peeta, Finnick tells her .Then,When Katniss, gale and a few others infiltrate the capitol, gale goes on board with the idea of bombing an area which could lead to thousands of deaths, which takes Katniss by negative surprise. And in the end Katniss chose Peeta. Gale also played a role in her sisters death but it’s mainly explained in the epilogue of the last book.
    “I know this would’ve Happened anyway. That what I need to survive isn’t Gale’s fire, kindled with hatred and rage.I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion is the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that”

    • @elvieashton8889
      @elvieashton8889 8 дней назад +17

      Yeah the ‘love triangle’ was more of a complicated relationship that was both strengthened and made more difficult from trauma, and Gale also just so happened to be there.

  • @AndrielleHillis
    @AndrielleHillis 16 дней назад +117

    My husband and I met in college. We had a history class together. I first suspected he liked me when he walked me all the way to the building where my next class was, even though his next class was in the opposite direction. And then, for the next few days, he would snag the only left-handed desk and then let me have it when I got there. And yes, we're both left-handed.

    • @skotabrit
      @skotabrit 7 дней назад

    • @darklion2
      @darklion2 5 дней назад +1

      ...left handed desk? What is a left handed desk? And since that exists I'm guessing there is a right handed desk? What's the difference?

    • @SammyLammy1D
      @SammyLammy1D 5 дней назад +7

      ​@darklion2 it is those small desks where it is usually connected to the chair on one side, right side most commonly, which is awkward for us left-handed people. But the left-handed desks have the desk part on the left side.
      Because I can't provide links in RUclips comments, I would suggest that you Google left-handed and right-handed desks or something along those lines, and look at the pictures. I feel like my explanation is not the best.

  • @ruriva4931
    @ruriva4931 11 дней назад +91

    When I see people talk toxic female love intresest “oh nobody would support this if the roles were reversed” I think it's crazy cause I swear romance is filled with toxic male leads

    • @Ash_Wen-li
      @Ash_Wen-li 6 дней назад +4

      Being very attractive excuses a lot of the poor behaviour male leads have in media

    • @invisibleman4827
      @invisibleman4827 9 часов назад

      People usually say that about blatantly abusive behaviour when it gets excused specifically because the person doing it is a woman.

  • @jenniferanderson7010
    @jenniferanderson7010 10 дней назад +40

    Changing who you are ... we should always strive to be better than we are. I do agree that a complete 180 for a partner is stupid, though. But, I also think that if you're with a pretty good match, strive for greatness. Are you bad about cleaning or cooking or something? Improve on it. Are you immature? Grow up. Are you rudely blunt rather than polite but straight forward? Temper yourself. There are a lot of ways to change without compromising morality.

  • @Muse_Rose-OT7
    @Muse_Rose-OT7 23 дня назад +68

    Great job on explaining and using real-life scenarios, Brad! I agree with you, especially when you said, 'Movies create this controlled environment where we know the feelings are ultimately going to be reciprocated.' I also loved when you went into detail about consent, respect, and how these are more romantic! :)

  • @Dragonmoon1598
    @Dragonmoon1598 23 дня назад +51

    Appreciate the realistic interspection along with the fantastical romantic element.
    It's refreshing.
    Like you said, getting caught up in the fantasy for a short time is great. Just don't try to make it reality.😁

  • @PoppysPuppy
    @PoppysPuppy 6 дней назад +43

    The stalking kinda happened to me once. It was a year ago before my 14th birthday. Me and my family just moved to a new state and were looking for where to stay but no dice, so we stayed at an apartment place (Those places where you live in someone else's house while they're still there) so anyway. It was comfortable and they were nice except for one guy, he was...close and gave me a sense of unease and danger. Now I'm a kind of person that can spot a fake, genuine and evil smile from afar. He kept coming to me. Despite how creepy it was, I didn't think much of it, but he kept watching and following me. Mind you this guy is 27 years old and I was 13 at the time, so when the day came to move out, he asked my number to keep in touch and "have fun" I couldn't anymore so I vented to my mother and she assured me that I would never see him again and I never did. I was scary as fuck. I'm 15 now going to 16 but that moment is itched to my brain. It was not romantic at all!

    • @uri4263
      @uri4263 5 дней назад +13

      You are still young so I want to ask of you, if something like this ever happens to you again, please talk about it with an adult you trust SOONER, please 🙏

    • @PoppysPuppy
      @PoppysPuppy 5 дней назад

      ​@@uri4263Yeah. I will I've learnt my lesson. I'm just glad it wasn't too late.

  • @isabellearsenault8934
    @isabellearsenault8934 7 часов назад +1

    We should not change who we are to be with the good person...the good person will love the real person we are. I still wish so. Thank you for this great video !

  • @makennastanley
    @makennastanley 23 дня назад +15

    this is single-handedly my favorite video i’ve ever seen! keep up the good work

  • @itsdripnovababy
    @itsdripnovababy 7 дней назад +16

    7:38 this reminds me of a time where I was playing a game, and some guy accidentally ran into me, knocking me over and busting my lip. He went back to apologize, and I of course never had anything against him, but I was in far too much pain and anxiety to ever fall head over heels for him.

  • @kittyfreya9141
    @kittyfreya9141 3 дня назад +6

    Showed my boyfriend Bridget Jones. The whole time hes like "sexual harassment" "no jail". " Why is she smiling? "

  • @CosmicFilms-007
    @CosmicFilms-007 23 дня назад +44

    I like these kind of videos your making :) very nice and calming,

    • @radmartin_
      @radmartin_  23 дня назад +5

      Thank you! Love making them

  • @barnalibasu4543
    @barnalibasu4543 14 дней назад +7

    Is every change bad? Would we find it attractive if someone gave up on an addiction for you, or started staying cleaner or healthier or did everything to improve your lifestyle?

    • @ms.sunshine4213
      @ms.sunshine4213 7 дней назад +10

      Those are obviously great. But what he is talking about is change in personality or interests. Like what he said about the movie Grese- the girl went from having a sweet innocent personality or full on baddie just for a guy, that is bad.

  • @somebody__.
    @somebody__. 23 дня назад +4

    Cool video man! Really nice.

  • @justClaya
    @justClaya 22 дня назад +3

    I love listening to your videos while at work. Great video as always 🤩

  • @exploringgodscreation-
    @exploringgodscreation- 15 дней назад +24

    One thing to note is when these movies were made you actually were allowed to go through the airport without a ticket. People used to wait and watch their loved ones board or get off the plane.

  • @Zainab-vw2ij
    @Zainab-vw2ij 13 дней назад +4

    I know movies have hit me hard because when you finished your point on airports and the fine my very first thought was "unless the person is rich and doesn't mind spending that money for love" 😭

  • @m.i.action8148
    @m.i.action8148 14 дней назад +4

    I think How I Met Your Mother said it best. It’s the Dahmer Dobler theory

  • @JacobHill-b2d
    @JacobHill-b2d 21 день назад +17

    The whole guy chasing girl trope is a polarizing thing.
    Personally, if the woman feels safe and like her boundaries aren't completely bulldozered, I think it's fine. How else are you going to get into a relationship?
    That being said, ladies, don't ever let a guy use fear as a way to get past any of your boundaries. If you feel actual fear for your life, get help and run away. Even if the guy isn't actually a bad guy, you're still a separate human life with freewill.
    However, if you're a guy with little experience, just know that it's a game. Games don't promise relationships, and the more you play along, the more likely it's just going to repeat itself.
    2:22 Is flattering...but it's creepy too....guys, if you just wanna make a girl feel good, but you don't really want a relationship either. This is exactly what you want to do...lol... she'll feel special, but she probably won't ever go near you.
    3:29 I thought Gale was just stoic, therefore you don't see him showing his pain.
    4:56 is good 👍
    6:13 I think most people have different personalities depending upon their comfort and surroundings. I have a hard time being my adult self around family. I can be immature and crude with guys, and I can be goofy and filtered around kids. Everyone does these things. It's only problematic whenever the other person is forcing you to make the change. We're humans; not movie characters.
    6:30 sadly is just the way it is... it's rare that two levelheaded people exist and truly go 50/50. Also, if it's completely systematic and forced, is it love? Or is it a forced commitment? Think about these things if you're looking to get married.
    8:49 facts
    9:19 I'd say if it doesn't cost money, why not? If it's expensive gift, it can make the person feel terrible whenever it's not mutual (unless they're a golddigger)....
    If it's just a public display/declaration, it'll ultimately be embarrassing if doesn't work out, but it at least the person still has their money.
    If you wanna be classy and low-key, you could write a letter.
    Public displays are really only good whenever you're confident/talented, and it's already a mutual desire. You can try to create a mutual desire from a public display, but that's unrealistic, and it's bond to be awkward.
    10:50 If there's a problem in a relationship (that can be reprimanded), it's better to fight than to keep all your feelings in. Say you're married. Marriage is a safe space to let out emotions that are unacceptable to the rest of the world. Men shouldn't physically fight, but everything else is appropriate whenever it's fighting for a relationship; it's done in love.
    If you can peacefully argue, then that's fine too. Sometimes passion and love can cause fights.
    13:46 facts

  • @isic71
    @isic71 4 дня назад +2

    Love this, what are some rom coms that don't have tropes that are problematic?

  • @justwonder1404
    @justwonder1404 19 дней назад +16

    Bookstagram keeps showing me your reels where you look longingly in the camera so I kinda forgot you also have videos where you speak lol.
    I can't watch 10 Thing I Hate because I've learned from the spoilers that the guy hurt the girl after pursuing her and then *she* was the one to write a poem for *him* and read it in front of the class while CRYING?? Nah, that's just public humiliation at this point, sorry. Maybe I'm just old, but it doesn't feel romantic, it feels cruel.
    Can't quite agree with your take on The Hunger Games though, all three of them were severely damaged in the end, and Katniss wasn't even trying to juggle anyone, she was just surviving.

  • @MyraKhan-ex8db
    @MyraKhan-ex8db 19 дней назад +5

    Tbh
    This is why I love better than the movies by lyn painter
    The whole point is that love isn’t always like in the movies

  • @invisibleman4827
    @invisibleman4827 9 часов назад

    There's a new trope in the real world that would fit in this list if it appeared on screen. Filming your partner's vulnerable moments and posting them on TikTok.

  • @sashasingh4646
    @sashasingh4646 18 дней назад +3

    My ex tried to change me in the end I am left with resentment.

  • @JehnReads
    @JehnReads 21 день назад +1

    Nice vid!

  • @VenxasFair
    @VenxasFair 22 дня назад +4

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS VID ! 😂❤
    Im calm now but seriously I saw so mannnyyyy show (english/asian....) when one person say no but the other keeps going (or in some case one person loves the others but the others insnt aware/doesnt love them yet because ofc like you said they will fall in love)
    One of the worst romance that I had to see was True Beauty like the ML stalk the FL when she had date (ofc the guy she was meeting had to be a bad guy who was only searching a beautiful face) but like the ML followed them into the movie theater and stoped them when he thought they were kissing like dude ????? How can u love this.
    I really love your content and u makes me want to write/start reading some books... ❤❤ thanks you for your content

    • @rftg1793
      @rftg1793 19 дней назад

      Yeah I get what you’re saying if the situation was different (meaning the guy wasn’t a creepy guy and way older than her) the ML would’ve looked as a nosey/stalker guy but I think in the show he was worried about her I mean that’s what I remember and I think she also pretended to be older 🤔(it’s been since I watched it so)

  • @outspoken5808
    @outspoken5808 11 дней назад +3

    Only disagreement is that Love Actually and Friends were made before 9/11 so there was not TSA

    • @emiliehoffmann21
      @emiliehoffmann21 5 часов назад

      Nope, Love Actually is from 2003 and the specific Ross/Rachel situation is from the final season which was 2004 😊

  • @gabychan7293
    @gabychan7293 11 дней назад +2

    I had lived a love triangle i Felt bad for the one i was not into (now the one i choose is my ex) now a days i met my boyfriend in a d&d game

    • @gabychan7293
      @gabychan7293 11 дней назад

      Ps- english is my Second language im not Very good at it

  • @srishtychoudhary6178
    @srishtychoudhary6178 14 дней назад +9

    I have been in a love triangle...and it was really Messy... eventually i got left all alone heartbroken while he is with his girl happily ig
    Idk what to do
    Fuck it ,this love really sucked.

    • @artbygilik
      @artbygilik 13 дней назад +2

      You deserve better

  • @aishanibajaj4094
    @aishanibajaj4094 19 дней назад

    Thank you for making this videoo

  • @ΕλληΦεαρινου
    @ΕλληΦεαρινου 13 дней назад +9

    Tbh I don't think it's so much about the "romantic pursuit" that went wrong (a bit too insisting/obsessive) part but the part that we are talking about fictional characters. F.chars can be moved around, do and act how ever the writer wants them to. If their creator wants them to be the best thing for each other, then so it will be. They lack the temper, will and disorders that rl people have, so the ending will be a 'happily ever after' and not a thriller or a true crime/horror story.

    • @ΕλληΦεαρινου
      @ΕλληΦεαρινου 13 дней назад

      Or a slice of life of a desperate housewife that can hardly pass from the door frame because of the antlers..😅

  • @celinavandenberg-j2v
    @celinavandenberg-j2v 3 часа назад

    You should watch shoujo anime that has romance in it. Those shows execute the toxic tropes in a horrible way

  • @justarandomsquirrel
    @justarandomsquirrel 5 дней назад

    omg i thought you were Ethan Slater for a second

  • @heyheylistennow
    @heyheylistennow 14 дней назад +2

    Damon and elena 😭plleeasee

  • @L.G.127
    @L.G.127 13 дней назад

    I like movies where stuffs happens because it's just a movie, but over the years I have to agree that a lot of this can be normalize in real life (which one we all know)

  • @asparagus3337
    @asparagus3337 15 дней назад +1

    Doh, dude just discovered fiction 😂

  • @evildoesnotsleep-x2b
    @evildoesnotsleep-x2b 18 дней назад +12

    how is this mind-blowing? you are correct in identifying and highlighting these, but every woman knows that.

    • @francesscaena6822
      @francesscaena6822 15 дней назад +16

      When I see takes on love from booktok girlies for example, I‘m not so sure they know…

  • @exploringgodscreation-
    @exploringgodscreation- 15 дней назад

    Very true

  • @sashasingh4646
    @sashasingh4646 18 дней назад +6

    I am just looking for old school communication.
    Putting down the phone to talk .

  • @Rattilovers89076
    @Rattilovers89076 9 дней назад +3

    Boq???

  • @Ariedits13
    @Ariedits13 22 дня назад +3

    7:20 5 minutes ago 😅

  • @sue627
    @sue627 2 дня назад

    No

  • @sara1coco
    @sara1coco 20 дней назад +16

    Nah people gotta stop complaining this is why new romcoms are so boring and un-entertaining like it's a story!!

  • @lauraidiomas9141
    @lauraidiomas9141 19 дней назад +3

    SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

  • @szonja3339
    @szonja3339 18 дней назад +1

    known you from insta! nice videos all the timeee