Your essay was AUTHENTIC and full of internal conflict, societal pressures, and personal growth that was pieced together beautifully. You HOOKED them in and SECURED your space! Congratulations Beautiful Soul!❣❣
I’m an upcoming Senior and I’m writing my Common App Essay right now. This was so helpful as I’m taking a similar approach. I really enjoyed hearing about your experience coming from Filipino and African-American descent and how you’ve grown from not feeling comfortable in your skin tone and hair texture and coming to love that part of yourself. I think it is so important to speak about who you are as a person and what makes you beautiful. You really that shine through 🙌🏾.
Omg this is soooo weird because in my commonapp essay I wrote about my hair and the struggles of growing up in a predominantly white area too!! it got me into all of the schools I applied to as well😭😭😭 I even wrote it in a similar structure!! we literally have the same story and I relate to you so muchhhhhh😭😭😭 my friend recommended me to watch this video because of my essay but anyways congratulations!
This essay is absolutely amazing, I love it so much!!! I am a rising senior and I want to start working on my essay, I really want to write about how I have always wanted to study in the us and the things that brought me to actually applying there in spite of all the obstacles I had to deal with. But I also think that it may sound a little bit inappropriate or feels kind of like cheating maybe, I would love to get some advice!!!
ur so sweet :) I’d love to helppp 🤍🤍 on my channel there is a video where i answer questions regarding college apps and it includes advice on essays. Let me know if that video helps and if you have anymore questions, comment them and i’ll answer them 😁 your essays are going to be great! ruclips.net/video/yrtqamNAjaY/видео.html
Honestly, this is a miracle. I have a very similar essay (has to do with hair) and its also separated into segments. Everyone is telling me not to submit it because it seems disconnected but this video just gave me so much confidence
Thank God you didn't hear those people. Because in college apps I doubt if there is such a thing as 'too unique'. To stand out in such a competitive pool, may be you are supposed to be too unique for your self only to be just 'unique' in the AOs room.
Oh My God, I can see the true you through your essay. You are the person I want to be friends with! I am in my senior year at a high school right now and applying to Ivy League. And if we end up studying at the same university, or if I meet you somewhere in the world, Imma hug u, girl. Imma hug the beauty of the ocean And do it with love and devotion
HEY SIS, I tell you it was amazing. Especially as a person of color, we do feel pressured in trying to fit in. But I'm so glad you found confidence in your hair and it looks absolutely wonderful. I just wanted to know what you're majoring in or what do you plan on being in the future??
That's an amazing essay! Congrats on your acceptance!! Any tips for brainstorming an essay?? I'm trying to be a math/physics major and my stats/ecs are okay, but I have no clue where to start for my essay.
hello hopefully i’m not too late to responding! For your essays brainstorm less about writing essays that show why your interested in that major and focus on writting about how your upbringing, experiences, and surroundings have sparked passions within you (whether that be stem or multiple facets) Let me know if you need more tips!
@@MariahMonte I really liked it! Im a black girl who’s a rising senior and looking to apply to colleges. I kind of have a “unique” essay too. With the recent Supreme Court ruling do you think it’s still okay for someone to write about their background and culture in their common app essay?
@@mintchoco_2558 yes! I think it’s really important that you write about what’s important to you. it’ll give the admissions office a better idea of who you are and can make you stand apart from other canidates🥰
ur essay is amazing!!! i just had one question- if a university is test optional will they prioritize the candidate who has submitted their test scores?
It depends, for example, if someone had A’s and a couple B’s and did not submit test scores, however another student had the same amount of A’s and B’s but submitted REALLY GOOD test scores, the student that submitted the test scores would likely have a higher chance of getting in. Test scores will just give a higher edge over other applicants. It will also help if you didn’t do super well in a certain class or want to boost your application in the academic area. In my “UCLA/UC berkeley” video, i explain this more in depth if you want to check that out! I can also explain it more in detail if you have more questions :)
There is someone who will never EVER leave your side, and His name is Jesus Christ! 2000+ years ago he came to earth and suffered beatings, being abandoned by His closest friends, being betrayed unto death, being spat on, and nailed to a cross. Why did He endure all of this? Well, it doesn't quite make sense until you look at yourself. God has his moral Law, the Ten Commandments, and you and I have broken God's Law. The Ten Commandments require us not to lie, steal, use God's name in vain (blasphemy), commit adultery (Which Jesus says looking at others with lust is the same as adultery), and murdering (which Jesus also says hating someone is the same as being a murderer at heart). These are only a few of the commandments, and breaking just one makes you guilty of breaking them all (James 2:10). so, have you lied before? or stolen? hated someone, looked with lust, or used God's name in vain (ex: saying "oh my ***). If so, God seeing you as a lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterous murderer at heart. You are guilty before God of eternal death in Hell (the Bible says the wages of sin is death in Romans 6:23). And this should terrify you, for the Bible says in Hell there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, and that it is like a lake of fire that is never quenched. There will be no laughing, no partying, just eternal suffering. But back to Jesus. When He came to earth and suffered and died on that cross, though He never needed to die since He was sinless, He was paying the debt of your sins as well as mine. Then, He rose from the dead, thus conquering death and proving that all who believe on Him will likewise rise from death to life. So, i imploreeee you, homie, put your trust is Jesus Christ TODAY, and God will grant you ever lasting life. The rest of Romans 6:23 says "The wages of sin is death, but the FREE GIFT OF GOD is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." So, trust in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Believe on Him and you will be saved.
![FNAF vs TF2 - Episode 2 [SFM]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/z5b3V2-VLb0/mqdefault.jpg)
Your essay was AUTHENTIC and full of internal conflict, societal pressures, and personal growth that was pieced together beautifully. You HOOKED them in and SECURED your space! Congratulations Beautiful Soul!❣❣
thank you so much ❤️
if my essay is anywhere near as beautiful as yours I’ll be happy!
i’m sure it will be! thank youu❤
This aint no joke, I couldnt even perceive myself writing something on this level if I let my imagination run wild lmao.
Her essay is so beautiful I started crying.
This is ABSOLUTELY beautiful, and your voice is extremely soothing. Congratulations on Berkeley 🫶🫶🫶
awwwew thank you so much❤
I’m an upcoming Senior and I’m writing my Common App Essay right now. This was so helpful as I’m taking a similar approach. I really enjoyed hearing about your experience coming from Filipino and African-American descent and how you’ve grown from not feeling comfortable in your skin tone and hair texture and coming to love that part of yourself. I think it is so important to speak about who you are as a person and what makes you beautiful. You really that shine through 🙌🏾.
@@Aberash2007 Aw! Thank you. Good luck with the college application process. You’re gonna do great 💝
That IS The most beautiful essay i already read.
Your essay is beautiful and captivating. Your approach is creative and raw. So inspiring. Thanks for sharing!
thank you. this comment is so sweet🩷🩷
I wonder why people told you not to submit this essay, it is amazing
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing and I’m glad you didn’t listen to those who told you not to submit that essay.
aww this is honestly the best essay i've heard!! the ending was so cute and beautiful
aww ty
This is so well written!
thank u!!
Omg this is soooo weird because in my commonapp essay I wrote about my hair and the struggles of growing up in a predominantly white area too!! it got me into all of the schools I applied to as well😭😭😭 I even wrote it in a similar structure!! we literally have the same story and I relate to you so muchhhhhh😭😭😭 my friend recommended me to watch this video because of my essay but anyways congratulations!
that’s so coool omg
This essay is absolutely amazing, I love it so much!!! I am a rising senior and I want to start working on my essay, I really want to write about how I have always wanted to study in the us and the things that brought me to actually applying there in spite of all the obstacles I had to deal with. But I also think that it may sound a little bit inappropriate or feels kind of like cheating maybe, I would love to get some advice!!!
ur so sweet :) I’d love to helppp 🤍🤍 on my channel there is a video where i answer questions regarding college apps and it includes advice on essays. Let me know if that video helps and if you have anymore questions, comment them and i’ll answer them 😁 your essays are going to be great!
ruclips.net/video/yrtqamNAjaY/видео.html
this is so beautiful! thank you for sharing your story 💓
thank you🩷 thank you for watching!!
That one is soo cool! This is the first essay that touched my heart. Good luck
Honestly, this is a miracle. I have a very similar essay (has to do with hair) and its also separated into segments. Everyone is telling me not to submit it because it seems disconnected but this video just gave me so much confidence
yess!! submit ittt 💕
Thank God you didn't hear those people. Because in college apps I doubt if there is such a thing as 'too unique'. To stand out in such a competitive pool, may be you are supposed to be too unique for your self only to be just 'unique' in the AOs room.
Oh My God, I can see the true you through your essay. You are the person I want to be friends with! I am in my senior year at a high school right now and applying to Ivy League. And if we end up studying at the same university, or if I meet you somewhere in the world, Imma hug u, girl.
Imma hug the beauty of the ocean
And do it with love and devotion
That was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!!
Put me into tears. Thank you for sharing.
aw i’m glad you liked it💓
such a beautiful essay the ending gave me shivers wowwwww
HEY SIS, I tell you it was amazing. Especially as a person of color, we do feel pressured in trying to fit in. But I'm so glad you found confidence in your hair and it looks absolutely wonderful. I just wanted to know what you're majoring in or what do you plan on being in the future??
i want to go into business administration:)
@@MariahMonte YAYYY, I wish you the best of luck sis may your journey be successful!!!!
@@Ireallylovelasagnasomuch thank u smmm
Beautiful! It hits a chord with me. Thank you for sharing
thank you for listening ❤️
BEAUTIFUL and relatable 💫
You are so eloquent, this is a beautifully written essay
Thank you!
i hope i can create an essay as moving as yours
aw thank you!
Absolute beauty of an essay! Love from Pakistan legend
thank you so much!!
that was such a beautiful essay OMG
i love this essay this is a lesson to listen to your gut and your self
love this essay
thank youuu🩷🩷
are u kidding this is beautiful
I love thisssss ❤
congratulations girl! you are so beautiful and well-spoken. what were your stats?
thank you💗💗 I had an unweighted 4.0(cum), weighted 4.34 (cum), and I didn’t take the SAT/ACT.
That's an amazing essay! Congrats on your acceptance!! Any tips for brainstorming an essay?? I'm trying to be a math/physics major and my stats/ecs are okay, but I have no clue where to start for my essay.
hello hopefully i’m not too late to responding! For your essays brainstorm less about writing essays that show why your interested in that major and focus on writting about how your upbringing, experiences, and surroundings have sparked passions within you (whether that be stem or multiple facets) Let me know if you need more tips!
Amazing ❤
thank you! i hope you liked it 🩷🩷
@@MariahMonte I really liked it! Im a black girl who’s a rising senior and looking to apply to colleges. I kind of have a “unique” essay too. With the recent Supreme Court ruling do you think it’s still okay for someone to write about their background and culture in their common app essay?
@@mintchoco_2558 yes! I think it’s really important that you write about what’s important to you. it’ll give the admissions office a better idea of who you are and can make you stand apart from other canidates🥰
@@MariahMonte thank you so much❤️
Thank you for this video beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
you are so welcome 🤍
ur essay is amazing!!! i just had one question- if a university is test optional will they prioritize the candidate who has submitted their test scores?
It depends, for example, if someone had A’s and a couple B’s and did not submit test scores, however another student had the same amount of A’s and B’s but submitted REALLY GOOD test scores, the student that submitted the test scores would likely have a higher chance of getting in. Test scores will just give a higher edge over other applicants. It will also help if you didn’t do super well in a certain class or want to boost your application in the academic area. In my “UCLA/UC berkeley” video, i explain this more in depth if you want to check that out! I can also explain it more in detail if you have more questions :)
@@MariahMonte can i dm u on insta if thats alright?
Make it a book ngl 🫸🫷🎀
You inspired me! Currently writting it right now lol
Write this book honey!!!
i have been thinking about it!!
thats WOW
God bless
God bless you
She ate
Could have done this without saying it’s about race. Heckn good essay
so true. It's applicable to so many different areas!
There is someone who will never EVER leave your side, and His name is Jesus Christ! 2000+ years ago he came to earth and suffered beatings, being abandoned by His closest friends, being betrayed unto death, being spat on, and nailed to a cross. Why did He endure all of this? Well, it doesn't quite make sense until you look at yourself. God has his moral Law, the Ten Commandments, and you and I have broken God's Law. The Ten Commandments require us not to lie, steal, use God's name in vain (blasphemy), commit adultery (Which Jesus says looking at others with lust is the same as adultery), and murdering (which Jesus also says hating someone is the same as being a murderer at heart). These are only a few of the commandments, and breaking just one makes you guilty of breaking them all (James 2:10). so, have you lied before? or stolen? hated someone, looked with lust, or used God's name in vain (ex: saying "oh my ***). If so, God seeing you as a lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterous murderer at heart. You are guilty before God of eternal death in Hell (the Bible says the wages of sin is death in Romans 6:23). And this should terrify you, for the Bible says in Hell there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, and that it is like a lake of fire that is never quenched. There will be no laughing, no partying, just eternal suffering. But back to Jesus. When He came to earth and suffered and died on that cross, though He never needed to die since He was sinless, He was paying the debt of your sins as well as mine. Then, He rose from the dead, thus conquering death and proving that all who believe on Him will likewise rise from death to life.
So, i imploreeee you, homie, put your trust is Jesus Christ TODAY, and God will grant you ever lasting life. The rest of Romans 6:23 says "The wages of sin is death, but the FREE GIFT OF GOD is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." So, trust in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Believe on Him and you will be saved.
Can you send the essay for me ? And thank you this was really helpful
lol