River Rescue Story
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- Опубликовано: 7 янв 2024
- River Rescue Story & the Bystander Effect
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Dr Syl, be kind to yourself. You did a wonderful thing saving those kids. Try not to let your perfectionism lead you to those "shoulds" and subsequent rumination. 🌼
Some angels do walk this earth, you have your water wings..
Dr Syl to the rescue! ❤😊
Good job. You remain calm so well. They almost need river lifesavers! I once had an older woman pass out next to me in the surf. I tried to grab her but a wave got in the way. Thankfully, the surf lifesavers saw me waving and came to help.
Where I am, once we are a mandatory reporter...we are one all the time whether we are working or not.
Thank you for sharing this story.
I feel like I am less affected by the bystander effect because I am so attuned to being the odd one out in society…almost to the extent of being anti-social. I have intervened in emergency situations in the past, I did what I did because it needed to get done and it was my social obligation to do it. It took moral priority over my own wants and needs. That detachment from social concern has also helped me act more levelheaded in a crisis because even though I would like a good outcome, I can handle one in which social tragedy occurs.
This is very like me, too. Although, for me, I might take extra time to process what is going on in the situation and so react a little later.
Those situations where I didn’t get involved and regretted it were largely due to my not processing the situation fast enough or well enough to realize 1) that there was a problem and 2) what response was needed.
In the Netherlands it’s 112 and I believe in Germany also. For people with suicidal thoughts we have 113 and for animal abuse it’s 144
Yep in Germany it's 112 as well!
Key point: "Neglect is way more insidious."
Thank you, Dr Syl. I am someone who is very socially reticent. But on more than one occasion I have left all of it behind in order to save someone.
Thanks for your empathy. But I am a little concerned about your willingness to file a report. Wait until you have kids. You can't watch them 24/7.
I got the impression that it was more the woman’s lack of concern that worried him vs her kids getting out of her sight … I agree with him - when it comes to kids it’s better to err on the side of caution - if there’s no problem then CPS/police have wasted a little bit of time - if it is a problem it could save a kid from abuse/neglect
I once was waiting for the metro. My dog was sat beside me and i was on my phone. A really rough looking guy came up to meand wanted to pet my dog. She was scared of strangers and was hesitant. Usually i respected her boundaries and ask people to leave her alone, but i gave him a handfull of treats and let him feed her. He thanked me and walked off. I nodded and went back to looking at my phone. Suddenly i hear a loud thud and lots of people screaming. Someone had just jumped in front of the metro. I didn't see who, but i looked around and didnt see the scruffy man anywhere. We were all evacuated quickly, but it bothers me that i potentially was the last person this man talked to and i was more interested in my phone. 😔
The emergency number in Norway is 113.
Well done, Dr Syl. Though it was instinctual, it was still an amazingly brave and selfless act ❤
wow!!!! amazing story Syl! I'm afraid to say that I probably would have been one of those bystanders, but I totally get the whole being in shock after and not thinking clearly. This isn't as dramatic, but a few years ago the lady who lived across the road from my house knocked on my door -which is something she often did when she'd had a fight with her boyfriend. I could tell she had some mental health issues, (possibly borderline personality disorder) but this day she was paranoid and just not making sense. She wanted to go to the police station to report her bfs violence against her. While we were there i told them that I was concerned about her mental health, so she was sectioned. I felt terrible that I was the cause of this woman being locked up through no fault of her own. when I got home, i felt so cold!! i was shivering and couldn't get warm -even though it was a warm day. I kept thinking "what have I done?". After she was released she came to yell at me for "getting her locked up". She had been in the high dependency unit for 3 days, so i felt somewhat reassured that I had done the right thing, but I still feel bad that i had to break her trust.
The emergency number is 999 here in the UK. Good job helping those kids.
Just how much you seem to reflect on this shows your good character Syl, hope you never change!
Oh btw, in Sweden its 112:)
Dr. Syl. I thank you and your fellow rescuer so much for saving the children. I almost drowned as a child and I will never forget the ordeal or my rescuer. You are both angels. I hope the children will be better taken care of. I think we’ve all been stymied by the bystander effect. But I do hope I can be confident enough to at least attempt to help. May you get to 100K. You have a great channel.
Having lived in a big city and travelled exclusively on public transport for two decades, I've been the first to respond to accidents, saw one violent death a few feet from me, and have been involved in countless minor incidents such as seizures, potential overdoses, or individuals acting erratically- cases where it's difficult to know the proper course of action. I've also had friends with similar experiences. I think we always, ALWAYS find something to regret that we didn't do or something we could have done better when we look back. It's important to hold onto the fact that 1) you ACTED! The majority of people freeze. 2) you didn't endanger yourself or make the situation worse- you kept your wits. 3) you acted wisely and correctly, and because of that the outcome was good rather than catastrophic.
That weird state of shock, time distortion and tunnel vision is a funky zone. You were probably still in it when you talked to the parent, and you'd just used up your mental and physical resources. Flipping back to daily reality of getting someone's details might have been asking too much of your system.
You did great.
Oh and in Canada, the emergency number is 911.
A couple of times I've gone to help someone I thought was in trouble only to be held back by the person I was with at the time because they were worried that I would get into trouble myself. I have low vision so it makes it hard because I want to help but what if there is something going on that I haven't seen. I once helped someone who was being treated by an ambulance crew but she wouldn't let them put a canula in because she was scared so I just sat and held her hand, got her to focus on me and told her that, "yes, it will sting but it will be over before you know it." By the time I finished that sentence, the ambo had the canula in and they were able to give her meds and move her. I don't mean to toot my own trumpet but I'm just glad I could help because I'm not so good with needles myself.
England is 999, there's the non emergency which is 111 for medical, 101 for police. I think 112 is an EU one, it'll connect you to 999 if you're in the UK as well
🖐️ We were ALL unsupervised in the 60's & 70's. 😆 We'd get turned out of the house after breakfast, called in for lunch, called in for supper. You'd better be in yelling range though.
I'm glad I didn't grow up with the level of supervision that's expected now. Always being watched...
@@aspidoscelis It was definitely a mixed blessing. Every day was an adventure of discovery, but there WAS danger, adults and neighborhood bullies. It's amazing how quickly you learn survival skills, as long as you're with your "pack" of friends and siblings, you pick up on who the predators are pretty quickly.
@@sharonthompson672 I think it's a tradeoff between different kinds of danger. Constant supervision creates anxiety for many people, and that can cause lasting psychological harm. Personally, I think I'm at higher risk of that kind of harm than most people. On the other hand, I think I'm at lower risk of harm from lack of supervision. So I think our current balance of risks would be particularly problematic for me, if I were growing up now. Whether it's a net gain or loss overall, I don't know.
Dont me so rough on yourself, the most important is that you saved the kid!!!!!!
True, it's a good invention, this universal emergency call. We have 110 for Police and 112 for Fire and Ambulance. Here watching from GER.
Sorry to hear about that child neglect that can ruin lives.
Hope these institutions can help some. And because they need the will to chance, for a fact the child is without choice half it's life... hoping for them to make good choices where they can.
Very well done Dr Syl for swiftly assessing the situation and taking fast life saving action! In the United Kingdom the emergency number is 999.
Also 112 will get you through to the emergency services (which I think is the one you were thinking of).
After just a few months being subscribed to this channel, I must say, I'm really enjoying the content and how it's presented.
Really interesting stuff (FYI England emergency services is 999 - a number many 90s children accidentally rang when they got hold of the family landline…)
Kitty Genovese. There's was some exaggeration in the original newspaper article about how many people heard her cries and the fact that no one bothered to call the police, when subsequently it was learned that several people had called the police. I remember learning about it in high school psychology and it was considered a black mark on the reputation of
New York City and whatever borough it was in particular. The Bronx? It was incomprehensible to me at the time that people could care so little, so it's nice that New York got some deserved vindication. Don't get me wrong, they're still ass****s, just not as bad as that story would imply.
That was the Kitty Genovese story (the Bystander Effect). March 13, 1964
To be fair to the people not jumping in to help the drowning person, jumping in to "help" a drowning person is almost always a very bad idea. There is a high risk that they will dunk you and drown you, like you watched happen to the other child.
What you did was heroic, and also very dangerous. If you hadn't had the submerged rocks *and* been significantly bigger and stronger than the drowning child, *and* had another person to help you, you could easily have died. Obviously I wasn't there so I don't know, but I would imagine that the mother may not have been physically fit enough to perform an effective rescue. If, for example, she smokes cigarettes and doesn't regularly exercise, she would be much less physically able to rescue them. If she had attempted to do the type of rescue you did, it's quite likely that she and both of the children would have all died.
I think what's difficult for you is maybe that she didn't show the appropriate level of gratitude. You risked your life to save the children she was responsible for. As a human, it makes sense to feel that a) if she loved the children she would have thanked you and showed emotion, and b) if she loved the children she would have been supervising them more effectively.
I don't think this is an example of the bystander effect. You reacted about as quickly as a human could, you were already sprinting before most people had noticed. Another person did actually go into the water to help you, and it's a good thing she did or you might have died or had to abandon the children.
Let's ask a scientific question: what's our alternative hypothesis? if this /wasn't/ the bystander effect, what would you expect to see? Would you expect 5 people to jump into the water? Would you expect somebody who isn't a doctor and hasn't been trained like you have to react more quickly than you did?
Officially what you're supposed to do to help a drowning person is throw them something. The river /should/ have life-rings you can throw. If there isn't a life-ring, you can throw them a large mostly-empty water bottle, or use a long stick to pull them towards the shore. The people who stayed on the river bank could have been thinking about what is the safest thing to do. In the first aid training I've had, the first step is always to assess danger and make sure you don't become another casualty. While other people were thinking "is that child drowning? should I go into the water to help? is there a life-ring I can throw?" they would have seen "those two people are already going into the water. That means one adult per drowning child, going in myself would create confusion rather than being helpful". You don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there.
You did a very brave thing, and I'm glad everyone came out of this alive. The mother should have been better supervising her children, and also much more grateful to you for saving them. She was probably correct not to go into the water herself.
Interesting and well done reflection on the social consequences of being a bystander. It is easy for people to dismiss theoretical underpinnings as merely academic when in reality they help us understand and interpret our perceptions.
That’s an intense situation. It can be tempting to not get involved - especially if you’re not sure of your own abilities, but I’m glad you did. I’m trying to be more consciously ‘involved’ when I see people in dangerous situations (not putting myself in danger obviously) as the bystander effect is strong. Also, it must have been frustrating for the caregiver to be so nonchalant.
Hi Dr. Syl. This is Stephen from Surviving Schizophrenia. I have been watching your videos and find them to be very interesting and informative! I would like to collaborate with you on a video. If you are interested, then please let me know! Have a happy and healthy rest of your day!
That sounds great - let’s tee up a call! Can you flick me an email: medico.syl@gmail.com?
Thankyou Dr Sll it reminded me of a car crash that I watched happened. For a split second I thought no just keep driving but I said no and stopped I saw other cars driving past unfortunately we had to do CPR on a 13yr old boy but sadly did not make it. In New Zealand our number is 111. I nearly sold my car after that.
The Uk emergency services number is 999
We also have 111 which is if you have a medical question where you know you don't need an ambulance, or think you probably don't need an ambulance, but you want advice about what to do. 111 can tell whether you need to go to hospital right now, make a doctor's appointment tomorrow, or they can arrange for a doctor or nurse to call you back to give advice over the phone. I think 112 might be a mental health number. When you call 111 they ask if it's a mental health emergency, they have a section of the service for that but I don't know what happens if you ask 111 for mental health help because I've never needed that.
That’s scary
I remember younger in summer camp swimming lesson were in the deep end with life jackets on as we had only done lessons in the shallow end. I could only doggy paddle so the deep end was overwhelming. I ended up with a waterlogged life jacket. Swimming into the middle of the deep end I could do but as soon as we had to do the lesson part I sunk. It happened fast. The instructor grabbed the life jacket and pulled me up. I don’t remember panicking, was more of “oh underwater, what did my Granny tell me to do” and then pulled up. Not a fall of water where I can’t touch the bottom unless I have non waterlogged life jacket. So, had fear of water so I joined the sea cadets with a friend. Lol
My Granny’s advice was to kick and keep kicking.
In 🇨🇦 it’s 911 same as the 🇺🇸
A lot of things are similar but a lot more is different definitely when it comes to constitutions.
In Europe (and many other countries too) 112 is the number that always works
It's really interesting that you are saying that you think you might have been able to snap out of the bystander effect because of your low social anxiety. I consider myself as a person with social anxiety but I've been in situations like this maybe not this dramatic but I also helped really fast often without even thinking if i could be in danger by helping (maybe not so smart). But I'm also drawn to stand out in a way even if I don't like attention most oft the time haha well whatever this kind of makes me believe maybe I'm not that social anxious as I believe. Also I'm a social work student and I also know situations where i thought should I've reported this or that. And in this situation like you describe here, I immediately thought couldn't have been the result of you reporting this, that the parents would be mad about it and leave it into the childen. Especially when they already blamed the children for accidentally drowning instead of feeling some sort of guilt for not watching their kids or at least realized they did something wrong as a parent (which is ok we aren't perfect, but admitting/realizing is necessary for growth I guess). So yeh I find myself questioning sometimes if I would actually hurt the child more by reporting something like this because of the parents maybe punishing the kids for being reported. Have you ever thought this way? (Sorry if my English is a bit off I'm from Germany 😅)
Wow, how scary! I can see how affected you are by this experience. Those kids will live to swim another day because of your actions and those of your fellow rescuer (and your subtle efforts to decrease the likelihood of phobia, hah).
Amazing story. Well done. There are two emergency numbers in the uk - 999 is the normal one, and 112 is also useable and is the same across most of europe. We adopted 112 because of an eu agreement so anyone in the eu can cross borders without having to remember a new number in an emergency situation. I think 112 might provide a slightly wider range of spoken languages too, but I'm not sure.
This story is exactly why my mum taught me and my sister never to directly try to save a drowning person - throw something to them to anchor them, a flotation device or an end of a pole or fabric like a jumper or something, which you can use to pull them. If they become calm enough then approach and pull them backwards with your hand on their chin to pull them along (it works better than it sounds like and prevents them grabbing you properly if the panic resurges). If you're big enough then you can approach directly in the first place because you can probably handle it, like dr syl vs a teenage kid. I am pretty weak so i could not have done what dr syl did.
The universal emergency number for the United States (not sure about island territories) is 911. There is also a non-emergency number (out lights, burst fire hydrant, power line that looks concerning, request police patrol for check-in or explosive noises that dont seem urgent, etc). It's often 311, but could be something else that you'd have to look up in your area. If you know it isn't urgent, please use the non-emergency line, BUT be aware that you might not get through or may be asked to leave a message. If you aren't sure if it's urgent or there is a time limit on the issue, PLEASE use 911. As a former dispatcher, we are ordered NOT to pick up non-emergency calls if we are busy, there is an ongoing emergency, we are low staffed, or there is an ongoing threat that we suspect will cause more urgent calls (bad storm, large power outage, wild fires, etc). We'd rather you use 911 if you aren't sure, and we'll help sort you into the right priority level if you aren't sure, but if you know it isn't urgent, please use the non-emergency line so we can keep the lines open.
Wow amazing well done 👍
Thats a great idea😮😮😮😮 i never thought about living by values vs by goals 😮😮😮😮😮 i ve always tought about goals, please pleaaase make a video on this
If I may make a suggestion? Or I suppose its a request...
Could you cover some popular topics and then the algorithm will shoot up your views/subscribers? I would like to suggest some of these: hoarding disorder, narcissists, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, eating disorders, Eugenia Cooney. Please do if you can!
I'm cheering for super growth of your channel, sir. 😊🤞🏻
Speaking as a neurodivergent person, the intersection between ASD and / or ADHD is pretty popular on RUclips, too. And of course, in terms of clicks, the intersection between trans identity and mental health might well shoot up your subscriber numbers, too.
I'm totally willing to move to wherever Dr. Syl practices JUST to be treated by someone with not only a great deal of unique expertise but also a heck of a smile. Does your clinic also treat thirsty people? 😂
Well done
I experienced something like this when I was in a swimming pool and the dad was in the changing room chatting and never noticed his toddler ran out and straight into the pool and just want straight down. I was a young teen probably so I didn’t react straight away but then another many was swimming over so I copped on and just lifted the little boy up. No acknowledgment from parent 😅
I think we can call 999 or 112 in Ireland.
Also would you think of doing a video about long term treatment resistant anxiety and depression, if a person is functioning and didn’t want ECT or to be admitted into a psych ward.
It used to be 0611. Now it's 112. In the Netherlands.
In Europe apart from uk the emergency number is 112
I have a lot of social anxiety and I can lack confidence but I very much want to help others if I'm ever in a position to do so. I wonder if there are any other specific ways to train oneself to avoid the bystander affect.
I am not so sure it was all about the Bystander effect, you also have the fact that there is a time for realisation of what is happening, the process you do to understand fully the situation, the time you react to it. You would have done something no matter what I think.
I’m from Belgium and the rescue number is 112. Maybe ik could react like the caregiver because I am really insecure to other people about my way of raising a child. But I was always looking closely 😂. But in a blink of an eye the can disappear. And I would feel very bad when that happened.
I have problematic "freeze" effect from my CPTSD. I am trying to be more aware and break out of it. I am making headway and that always feels good
112 for the Netherlands
In europe is 112
Hi, brand new subscriber. Working my way around your channel ❤ where or how do I send suggestions for reactions?
You can email them to me or comment them here :D
This guys behavior was really predatory, the long pregnant pauses and then changing his story the second time he returned. What are your thoughts? Drunk pervert our predator stalker? ruclips.net/video/JtMPuOt9aC4/видео.htmlsi=q02T4gNQ9886zTcV
my guess is that she wouldn't have given you her details anyway.
This made me thing of what I'd do and I can totally see myself just freeze and stand there.
Definitely gotta check myself on that 🥲
Also, I'm from Slovenia, the phone number to call the cops is 113 here!