A lot of people in the comments have never dealt with toxic parents that can come between a couple because of their narcissism and manipulation. I agree with everything Tamra said. It’s all situational.
Loni preach, I don't agree with jeannie on this. My mom is my world, she raised us as a widow all by herself. The least I can do is help her when she needs it.
Different if your mom knows you were sexually abused and didn't "protect" you. Now Jeannie has a dude that desires that provider/protector role; of course she'll have it twisted.
@@kernalbert4939 it's all from experience and everyone's life is different. What I'm saying is from what I've experienced with my mom, I'd give her my life if she asked for it. So I do think that it just depends on how the mother actually is.
@@talyabrown1939 Thanks sis, that's just the way I see it. I would never have my wife(that doesn't exist just yet lol) or even the girl I'm dating abandon her family. Now of course everything has a line but who am I to stand between someone & their family(& potentially my family thru marriage) ESPECIALLY in times of need! I'd be by her side to support & do whatever I can to help 💯
Garret Jones I disagree. My maternal grandparent (particularly my grandma) were very toxic and had no problem becoming a burden on my mother regardless of the damage it did to her marriage. My grandfather's illegitimate business sank and my mother came to the rescue despite the strain it put on her. The worst part about it was that my grandmother refused to compromise by downsizing from a rented 2 story house with a pool (we live in LA so thats an extreme expense to have someone else spot the bill). My mother skipped mortgage payments to pay for her parents shortcomings resulting in my parents losing their house. Y'all must not have experience dealing with toxic parents or you dont even realize you have them. It's not healthy. Although I dont believe in ultimatums, I could not see myself dealing with a partner who has a toxic relationship with his parents. I'd have to end that real quick, I wouldn't even let it get to marriage tbh
@@bossytweed6664 I'm sorry to hear of your family's hardships. In my original message I included the words "WHEN NEEDED" as far as encouraging my wife or gf to care for her mother/family. I realize that everything isn't a NEED. When I replied to a previous comment as well I also mentioned that everything has a line and has its limitations. Each individual couple and family will have to work together to decide what sets those lines of comfort and limitations for them.
Garret Jones I see what you're saying however when an adult child is entangled in a toxic relationship with their parents theres a very blurred line when it comes to what's considered "in need" versus excessive. Trust me, my mother just could not see it that way and thats what the problem is. Could she afford to support her parents? Not at all but in her mind she wanted her parents to be comfortable so she couldn't see the problem with her mother not wanting to downsize to an affordable senior apt living complex even if that meant putting a financial strain on herself.
I’m here with Loni my mom is my world and my Bestfriend , I’ve dealt with people trying to break my relationship with my family and that’s a no no , family comes first . People come and go but family Speacially mom is forever . Religion or not
Well said loni you are the smart of the smartest in this group man comes and goes but your mama is your mama period as long as you have a healthy relationship with her valid point also tamara.
I’m actually not mad that Jeannie puts her man before her mom because i know her story. But if it wasn’t for what she went through, I’d definitely disagree.
@@Kadericka oh I get it now, history with her mom. I thought you meant the divorce. But yes although I agree with Loni for the most part, I mean of course you should not drop everything for a man who could turn out to be a jerk or leave you, the same could be said for your mother some cases. Each situation is different and blood isn't always thicker.
This is a tricky one. Yes, your HUSBAND (not "man" or "boyfriend") should come first. But at the same time, a man I marry wouldn't even put me in the position to even choose.
Sometimes parents don't have proper boundaries when their children marry and low-key get jealous at the attention their child is giving their spouse and try to reassert their position which is unhealthy. Honestly most people in relationships don't come in trying to break you from your parents unless there is a problem, so before choosing anyone there should be an honest conversation about why this is being proposed in the first place..
Totally agree. Seen it for myself when the parents got so jealous of the newlyweds that they kept interfering and acting like the spouse to their own child. It's pathetic and a control issue with the parents. It does happen, and it's the reason to get married so you have your own new family. Only insecure families hold their grown ass married child back.
Yes this happened to me with my MIL.I have never disrespected her but she made it her number one priority to show me directly and indirectly that she comes first no matter what..she didn't want her son to be romantically involved with anyone, get married,start a family etc. And i think it's so selfish of her because she had her kids and family
@@WhatEver-mv6qi It was so stressful having to deal with her. From day one she didn't like me and I tried my hardest to be accepted by her until I just didn't care anymore. You can actually see the green eyed monster in her whenever I'm with her son now my husband...all the hateful looks,stares and insults it was terrible
@john smith Yes, same. It is just wrong. It's like choosing between your spouse and your child. That man/ woman is someone child, grandchild. That kind of hard choice can push someone to the edge.
I understand why Jeannie chose her man over her mom, cuz they didn’t have a strong bond since her childhood, etc. (all info found in her RUclips channel stories). But if a man MAKES you choose? You might as well choose blood over any loser that isn’t willing to help out the very woman that gave birth to you.
If you understand Jeannie's background and what she went through, then you get how that kind of trauma can mess you up. And not having anyone there to help you or believe you is the worst. When you are raised like that you are truly alone. My mother molested me. I don't have to choose. I don't have "blood" to choose. That is all a lie. My father threw me down the stairs. People don't get there is stuff that happens that you'll never know about. And sometimes loved ones that come into your life after notice things that are messed up and try to help people get out and learn what love really means.
Qualia It’s super shameful how some parents are that forever changes their child’s’ lives ...Jeannie is speaking for audiences like yourself. I’m speaking for those who didn’t experience such tragedy. You’re right, there’s always both sides. Sorry you went through that.
morgan glenn could be, won’t know for sure until she says something. But the focus of this video isn’t even on Jeannie. Anyways, I said my two cents lol
This is such a loaded topic and context is important. The problem is A LOT of parents are toxic and have no problem becoming burdens on their adult children. I know in a lot of minority communities where poverty is rampant, we don't set things up for later in life and rely on our children to care for us regardless of how much of a strain it will be on them. My mother literally paid her parents bills (unbeknownst to my father) before their mortgage resulting in them losing their house. My parents almost divorced over it. I want to be able to create a life to where my future kids won't ever have to worry. I want to be able to take care of everything for myself and my children until the day I die, not the other way around!
Absolutely. It's all about context. People don't get that and it's hard for them to understand when they've had great parents who provided for them and listened and gave them love. And there are parents who act like the worst kind of criminals towards their children or/and just take whatever they can get and use their children. No child deserves that, minor or not.
Qualia Exactly! Not to mention, a lot of adult children don't even realize how toxic their parents are being a lot of us are conditioned to believe our parents are our responsibility once theyve gotten old. Like no, people need to make better choices in their youth so they set themselves up to not be burdens on their adult children.
Qualia we’re the special one 😓 just got tired of being a good daughter but feel taken advantage of by my own mother! Imagine doing your best to make your parent happy... but it’s never good enough for her.
Me too... My man's mom is like a third person in our relationship. Always there, always needing to know everything , calling all the time (by that i mean multiple times a day) , making excuses to come over and crossing my boundaries (getting her nose through everything in our home). She is a nice person overall but she's overwhelming. Also she is making comments about me gaining a little bit of weight, or not having voice good for singing... When i met her for the first time she said i'm more beautiful in pictures than in real life... And i got caught off goard
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially*
Family always comes first. My parents were there first and will always be there for me. 1. Ultimatums should never be acceptable 2. If you want to marry me and be apart of my life, you have to understand I will always be supportive of my parents if they need me like they did for me. I am lucky, my man understands my relationship with my parents and has actually created a similar relationship with my parents. We are both there for them through thick and thin as they are for us.
Nyotaa Mahogany yep! We are close with them as well. We are with our family a good amount but together. Yes we spend time together as just a couple, but we both enjoy being around our families.
Thelondonbadger thank you for your insight! I am lucky as my parents are well off and financially stable by them selves. It’s a theme in my family to be close knit and we are all very open with each other and are open to opinions but everyone is very respectful which makes it easy. You have a great point! If my parents needed money due to unforeseen circumstances and we could support them, I would. But if they are using me or my spouse in order to get by easy, then that would be very frustrating. My partner is African American, but his family is very much like mine that they are independent. I am an only child, I think subconsciously I feel like I will always want to help them because of everything they did for me, but if they were abusing that, the relationship I have with them would be very different
Hontey. When you are married you put your spouse first. Your marriage comes first. Your mom isn't in the marriage. That does not mean you have to cut off your Mom though. Although, At the end of the day, if one of them is toxic and you have to make a choice, choose wisely. Every situation is different. Sometimes your man or girl is crazy and wants to pull you away from your family. Sometimes your mom really is overstepping her boundaries or treating your spouse wrong. Sometimes you just gotta take a long look at each relationship.
thank god for loni during this segment, because the fact that none of them clocked that your partner making you choose between your own mother and your marriage is emotional abuse and that’s shocking.
It shouldn't lead to ultimatum, the person can be worst person on Earth, you as the child can decide how you want to deal with that, your spouse being supportive of your decision but not him/her telling you cut the person off for good. No!
@@elizabethtimothy4776 if that mother on law is not respecting boundaries and putting strain on the other spouse, it is not just for the other spouse to deal with. People don't go straight to an ultimatum. If the wife didnt handle her mother and get her to respect their boundaries and marriage, it's perfectly fine for the husband to say they cant do it anymore.
@@cratcliff8820 that is what happened. He asked after the mother kept taking his money and demanding he pays for everything in her life even though she used to have a job. Now she also has a low life boyfriend that her son in law "should" finanse. He had enough and demanded her out of their lives.
Then you're not ready for marriage. There's a reason why we don't take vows with our parents. Cleave to your husband, not your mama. First God, then marriage, then your kids, then your mama. When you don't believe in that, your marriage is going to suffer.
Shawn Dyer his also GAYY and che@ts on her with black men on his “business trips” he’s also been arrested for s*xually harassing a cameraMAN and has harassed the other wives husbands on the show
I’m not assuming that because of course in that sense you are obviously going to choose your man but my mother is pretty much my best friend so I will choose her over anybody. That fact that man has that much entitlement asking that question thinking I would choose him is beyond me.
No man. I dont think that's the point. The problem here is, that this man is MAKING you choose. Whether you're close to your mom or not is irrelevant. But i think the question really is, are you okay with him threatening to leave if you don't do what he says? Which is to cut ties with your mom. Maybe its easy to cut ties with your mom but is it easy to know that it wasn't really your decision and someone you love put you in a position that forced you to choose. Its lowkey manipulative. If he has the balls to tell you to pick him or he'll dump you, what else could he threaten you with. Also would you really stop speaking to the person who gave birth to you, just because some man tells you to? You don't have to be close to your mom. Hell, you dont even have to like her. But the point is that if you cut her off, it should be because you've decided to on your own. Not because some man told you to. I think thats what some people are getting at
suxexa again, that’s why it’s based on the situation. You don’t even know their story or what made him even get to that point. No one is even saying that you specifically are assuming lol no one cares how close you are with your mom. That’s not the point of this comment.
I was engaged to a man who’s mom was a complete narcissist (and she was racist) but she definitely tried to get in between us and she succeeded because he allowed it to happen. Im no longer in that relationship, but there are MANY parents out there who are extremely toxic and absolutely need to be cut off at some point.
Latinos take care of Mom and Dad its hard to separet when we get marry. Mom always come first Husban will cheat and kick you fast your Mother always gona be there. 👍
Most time when someone have to choose between their spouse, or their parent it's because the parent has no damn respect for their adult child. Off topic; Tamera's left eyebrow is driving me crazy🙈
That part!! Some parents are toxic asf. I grew up with toxic grandparents and it hurts me to even have to acknowledge that my parents marriage has been stronger since they passed away. This conversation is situational as Tamera said. I don't believe in ultimatums though. I personally wouldn't be with someone who has a toxic relationship with their parents. I knew how shitty my family dynamic was growing up because of that so I wouldn't want to put my future kids through it.
Exactly!!. Everyone saying their mom comes first I’m like but they’d be mad if that dude put his mom before them!! It’s not ok to put other people ahead of your husband/wife.
@@bpadilla123 Totally agree with you. Like the mother needs to her own life and let the married couple be, jeez. I see it all the time, especially in Indian culture were the mother insists that her grown ass married son live with her forever. And if the wife disagrees and wants them to move out, then she's considered 'breaking the family' insecure or what. I don't care if my own aunties are mother in laws, I will tell them to leave their married sons alone. Why get the sons married only to keep mothering them afterwards too.
No, it goes thesame way. My mother in law is my mum. I call her mom from the go. His parents are my parents and to even disrespect them is not only to disrespect my husband, my parents but God. I will never want to be a disobedient child!
My husband comes first! I agree with Tamara depending on the situation. If my mother needed help I would sit down with my husband and together we will come up with a solution to help her but I can't be her bank especially if my husband isn't on board.
It really depends on the relationship with my mother , some mothers are very toxic and aren’t looking out for the best when it comes to their daughters. Unless you have an amazing mom please protect her and your bond over any man🌿
You're absolutely correct 100%. Honestly, I think and I believe that it depends on your Mum has a person. My mum has done a lot for me that, it's rare to see such a gem like her. She has given her whole and all to her children. She ensure that we have everything she never had. She did it on her own. I don't think a man can do such for his wife honestly. I can never trade my mum for anything and anybody . I love her to pieces.
I agree with Loni. My Mom and I are the same. She is all I had growing up in terms of parentage. If any man told me that I couldn't be there for my Mom in tough times, I would leave them in an instant! That is not right on any level.
This!!! I think people are thinking if you put your husband first then you're pushing your parents aside. Not at all. But you and your husband are one. People go into marriage with a mindset that your spouse is replaceable. So in most people's lives their spouse is always last when they should be first.
The answer to this depends on how toxic the parent is. Parents need to respect boundaries and some don't. In that case, sometimes you gotta cut people off. Especially with money. I'm sure there are cultural divides in these comments, but I didn't give birth to my children so they could support me when I'm old. I'm not going to mooch off them when I'm old and I sure as hell expect my mom and mother in law not to mooch off us. Helping once in a while is one thing but fully supporting a grown ass adult parent? Oh hell naw. And by the time a spouse has to give an ultimatum, it's the other spouses fault for not handling it appropriately up to that point. It probably didn't start right with an ultimatum. The moment I told you it was past the amount I'm comfortable with it should've been addressed with the parent. And this "oh he's replaceableeeeeee" bullshit. That man is my husband and father of my children. We've been married for going on 8 years. Some of y'all would really divorce your soulmate because you have a greedy mom and try to justify that greed because 30+ years ago she birthed you. I birthed my children because I wanted to raise amazing little human beings. They don't owe me anything for birthing them. The people in your home are the priority (spouse and kids). Extended family is great but there's gotta be boundaries.
People don't want to hear that. Hell some people dont even realize they have a unhealthy toxic relationship with their parents. I grew up with my mom's mother hating my dad. It was such a horrible family dynamic. What also made it worse was that my grandmother was an addict (rest her soul) so when she'd get upset because we'd leave holiday gatherings early to spend the rest of the day with our dad, you can only imagine the vitriol she'd spew. My entire childhood, there wasn't a holiday that didnt end with verbal abuse from my grandmother over my dad. But my mom still took care of everything financially for her parents until they died. It was so bad that (unbeknownst to my dad) my mom was missing mortgage payments to keep her parents lights on. My parents lost their home because of it and almost ended their marriage. Its so sad to have to even acknowledge that my parents marriage has been so much stronger since my grandparents passed away😞 I don't believe in ultimatums but I personally couldn't accept creating a family with a man who has toxic parents. I know how fucked up my family dynamic was as a child so wouldn't ever want to put my future children through that!
Mothers generally sacrifice a lot for their children, and I'm not talking only financially. But I agree with Tam about being situational - a mother that abandons you to have a free lifestyle is definitely not to be chosen over a man that loves and cares for you. Just an example.
I'm with loni on this one, jeannie you are dead wrong for that, I loved when loni said men come and go we only have one momma, I bet that hit jeannie that she had to think for a sec, you can tell by her facial expression change
I think Jeannie, made that comment base on her long feud with her mum. I was not surprised. This man that is issuing this ultimatum must not have had a strong relationship with his mum.
I think it's dependent on your family dynamics....my mom abandoned me as a child time & time again. My husband, on the other hand, is the most loyal, devoted, loving person I have ever met. I put him first because I know he's there for me. I cannot trust my mom & never will have a normal mother/daughter relationship with her. That's not my fault, it's hers.
Men come and go. Spouse don't.. how often you get married in your life time? The saying your spouse should come first seems to be forgotten. I pretty sure if a wife told her husband to chose between her or his mom, he'll have to chose the wife or he's a 'mama's boy'.
I love how Loni is shutting down all these bougie, slave-driving, fairytale movie suggestions or reasons for a Personal Assistant. They're all ridiculous. 🙄
Slave driving? Could you imagine a job where all you had to do for 8 hours was turn down covers and start someone’s bath? They’ll have nothing to do most of the day.
@@EllePlowPlow Yes it's slave-driving. Adrienne mentioned she would want someone to wake up before her and be her alarm clock. That sounds like a modern day live-in "Personal Assistant" aka HOUSE SLAVE to me. They are requiring a 24 hour servant (constantly available person) who can: 1. Be awake before them and then wake them up. 2. Run their bubble bath 3. Make their beds 4. Pull up their panties 5. Plan (organize, schedule) their daily lives. Be their memory and brain. 6. Be their teacher. 7. Follow them to work to light the candles in their dressing room ... like how ridiculous is this one. 8. On hand. ON CALL (aka must not have a life) to chauffeur them. 9. Be their photographer (again requiring another person's constant presence, fake patience, and time) 10. Lie for them 11. Be their Butler 12. Go grocery shopping for them and be their Cook 13. Do their laundry 14. Walk the dog Only thig left for them to say is "I need someone to wipe my a**" So basically this person must not have a life of their own because their life must revolve around the lives of their Master.
The Mom, the mom, the mom. What about the Dad? These innuendos and "issues" always seem to stem from Single Mothers who never marry, and they use their children to carry the "weight" of their "missing man". I'm sorry, that is an unfair burden to place on your children, IMO.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12, I will love my husband but I will respect my parents 110% 👏🏼
Honor doesn't mean to provide their every need without reason. I agree with Tamera, it is situational. Also, you shouldn't be with a man that is not mature enough to have a an honest conversation with you and come to a compromise if the situation requires it.
Christian Soldier See the issue with that right there is you’re picking what you like from the Bible and not reading the whole thing. Yes I will leave my parents and be one with my husband, but the line of love and respect I have for my parents will not change. I will respect and love my husband, his wishes and his parents but he better respect me and my parents. Communication and Respect on both sides.
Christian Soldier Wrong God comes First then the Spouse ,but if the Spouse is not running the house accordingly then it takes a strong WOMEN to take it on.
But you never know if thats gone be your husband forever and if y’all get divorced how you going to go back to your mom when she and you both know you value a man more then her
It depends on the situation, and it also depends on the day. I’m all about “family comes first” but guess what? The moment I said, “I do” my husband became my family too. ❤️
According to our Most High there is an order... Our Father, Husband, wife, children then it can be mom. Messing up that order will put a judgement on your entire family. Moms will get u in trouble. If moms need help then the hubby and wife talk about it and help.
it really do depend on the situation because some of y’all in the comments saying you would choose your mother over anything but like if your mother was attacking your marriage wouldn’t you be like you need to back off or we can’t have a relationship
I think it's important to remember the relationship that Mama Mai and Jeannie had growing up. I think that's a lot of the reason as to why she might've said what she said
No, I am an atheist and have an amazing relationship with my mum and I love her to death, but I love my spouse more. I am not in love with my mum and my kids wont be made with her but with him. So we are all different. (I said I am an atheist because I dont agree with Jeannie based on the Bible, I just see it as a logical strain of events)
Yah no, I believe its a balance. But my mom has been their through thick a thin. A mother’s love ain’t going nowhere, but everyone’s different. A man can love you but if something were to happen, they can come and go. Overall it’s a balance, if you in a relationship where you have to choose, that’s not the right one I believe.
I’d choose my mom over ANYONE EVERYDAY. My momma gave me life, she gave me EVERYTHING I ever needed to become a strong, independent woman of self-respect and values. I owe my momma everything I am, everything I have, and everything I’ll ever be. My mom made me who I am. Men come and go.
First of all what you’re not gonna do is give me an ultimatum. That’s a NO. My mom is my everything, if you are gonna tell me to choose between my man or my mom, I’m gonna choose my mom. PERIODT
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially* .
It’s different when she financially needs help and when she’s just asking for money and spending and spending on unnecessary things. I’d be bothered by my man giving his mom money just for her to splurge, but I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum I’d have a talk that maybe not so often or something l. People need boundaries and sadly some do take advantage of situations like this
Traditionally, your husband comes first. You are bound by him, and are one flesh with him. So why separate? You took a vow to by stand your husband, not your mom. Also, in my culture, the wife would now belong part of the husband's family so there's no going back lol
absolutely love it and agree with Tamara, I think respect is crucial to solving issues like that. Mom or husband whatever the situation do the right thing with respect and love
Well, I don’t need no book telling me how to prioritize the people in my life. I think it’s natural for family to feel pushed out when a member enters a new relationship. But again, marriage is all about compromise. Men are often replaceable and the issue with marriage is that people are expected to be in for the long run. HOWEVER, it is a constant work and process and sometimes, you have to leave. Look at Jeanne, she divorced. Mothers aren’t always the best and with that, I will say it is situational. If your mom didn’t care for you at all and neglected you, get out. Any toxic relationship, get out. But if your mother was there and loved you, you can’t neglect sacrifices made. She gave you her body, her beauty, ultimately, her life and for it to be taken for granted like that, it can be painful. I think the take away here is to never neglect those who have been there for you. Form boundaries and understand your relationship with each are different. It’s like choosing between your children your spouse. You just have to be think about the basis of the relationship and never push someone who has been there out.
I don't think people in the comment section understand. This is not just any man. It's 'husband' or 'wife' situation. And when you get married your spouse is your first priority. And Tameras right when referring to that women's particular situation, the parent interfering needs to know their place. Jeannie was right in what she said. Marriage require that kind of commitment. Leave and cleave.
@@-.a9942 Jeannie was right to do so. She stood by her covenant. I understand what happened with Freddie getting someone else pregnant, but I also understand that there's an enemy to kill, steal and destroy.
Why though? I believe it should depend on the situation, for instance if there is only one car, and mum wants to go somewhere at thesame time as the wife then the mum should be taken just because of age while the wife can wait or take Uber. No one should ever feel left out.
Well I told my husband to choose between me and his cruel, narcissistic family. I dealt with their abuse for almost a decade and it was affecting my health. I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him we either have to go no contact with them or get a divorce. He chose me because he saw their cruelty. They were cruel to him too. We have been no contact for 11 years and we've never been happier. My family treats my husband great so at least we have that.
My mom is my everything. She raised me alone and worked hard to make sure I had everything I needed. My husband knows our bond and respects that. She also knows not to get involved in our marriage all the time
Your mom..!! Why would you want to put a man in front of mom..?? Even if ya married. If you love your mom soooo much why would you do that...?? Like Loni said "men come & go "...!! So I definitely agree with Loni.
Wtf? My mom sacrificed everything to raise me properly, the least I can do is to give her back what I can. Honestly, if my husband gives me such an ultimatum I would leave his ass because NO husband should tell you to choose either him, either your mom... He even should be asking you in what way he can also help!!!!!
In relation to this particular situation Ashley's parents are toxic. Her mom didn't work and blew through 3k a month to take care of her lazy boyfriend who as well didn't work. Not to mention it was the husbands money so he had all rights to feel the way he felt.
If you watch RHWOP... you would know that Ashleys mom was going through a vicious cycle with a man in her life who bought all negativity. Ashley fought continuously to try and help her mother improve with little to no progress. Michael provided Ashley with most things, if not everything financially. Which Ashley used to help support her mom. Because of the vicious cycle Michael wanted Ashley to stop feeding her moms habits and lifestyle until they both saw change in her. Ashley explained their concerns to her mom but it seemed more of excused then change for quite some time . (They are way past these issues as of today according to the show) I am not saying the threat of divorce is acceptable. Like wtf does that...but there’s a lot of backstory to this topic.
What kind of man would make you choose between him and your mother especially you and your mom had a very strong relationship she raised you help you get through difficult times stayed up all night when you were sick going to school performances and some are a single parent and work two jobs to make ends meet all for you to grow up and turn your back on her no way that is not how it it works don't forget where you came from because you got money
In a real marriage there is no "Ashley's bank account" everything is available to both parties. The man is the head decision maker on it too. This independent thinking is yet another example of why marriage is almost dead in society.
Elohim Rules - “independent thinking” is how the world evolves. If it were up to you women would have no option but to stay home, cook, clean and take care of the children. You should move to a third world country where women are considered as second class citizens.
There's not a right or wrong answer... It always depends on the relationship you have with them 😊 And on the particular situation. Me... If my mom could throw me under the bus she would do that without thinking. So for me would be pretty easy to chose my man (not any man, my lifelong partner)
Your man or your husband?Funny how even those that claim to be Christians ignore the vow to forsake all others.Why marry if the vow is meaningless?Don't mean to cut family off but spouse and the family you create should be #1 priority.
Speaking of marriage and Biblical principles that not only apply to men.There should be boundaries set .One can love and be supportive of family and yet have priorities in order.Many have allowed family to destroy what could have been a good marriage.Bottom line is a loving mother and family should know their place.
Never ever...bfs, men come and go. You have ONE mother. That's all you get. Again, Lonnie, I agree with you. Lonnie, is/was a engineer. She's very intelligent. My SO is a engineer. They say it as it is, are very analytical. Lonnie shut the pretentious assistant bs down.I Love her.
Some people have very toxic parents and it depends on the situation.
Veronica Lopez yes
But in this case she should leave he’s toxic
Thank you! I was just about to write that
Veronica Lopez i agree
Thank youuuuuuuu !!!!!!
A lot of people in the comments have never dealt with toxic parents that can come between a couple because of their narcissism and manipulation. I agree with everything Tamra said. It’s all situational.
They have they just been brainwashed that toxic parents trump everything.
Ppppppppp PPP po
Agree !
B.T.W it’s Tamera
My mom is straight up POISON. But I'll be damned if I choose someone else over her.
Loni preach, I don't agree with jeannie on this. My mom is my world, she raised us as a widow all by herself. The least I can do is help her when she needs it.
Shorooq Karim Right! and before any man! my mom birthed me! she RAISED me like hello grfo
Different if your mom knows you were sexually abused and didn't "protect" you. Now Jeannie has a dude that desires that provider/protector role; of course she'll have it twisted.
@@kernalbert4939 it's all from experience and everyone's life is different. What I'm saying is from what I've experienced with my mom, I'd give her my life if she asked for it. So I do think that it just depends on how the mother actually is.
Yes, you dropped your crown queen
Shorooq Karim All mom’s aren’t the same. Ashely mom sadly is a users
Any REAL man would SELFLESSLY encourage his woman to care for her mom when needed. Haven't watched yet, just read the title.
THIS you the only person in this comment section that got it right
@@talyabrown1939 Thanks sis, that's just the way I see it. I would never have my wife(that doesn't exist just yet lol) or even the girl I'm dating abandon her family. Now of course everything has a line but who am I to stand between someone & their family(& potentially my family thru marriage) ESPECIALLY in times of need! I'd be by her side to support & do whatever I can to help 💯
Garret Jones I disagree. My maternal grandparent (particularly my grandma) were very toxic and had no problem becoming a burden on my mother regardless of the damage it did to her marriage. My grandfather's illegitimate business sank and my mother came to the rescue despite the strain it put on her. The worst part about it was that my grandmother refused to compromise by downsizing from a rented 2 story house with a pool (we live in LA so thats an extreme expense to have someone else spot the bill). My mother skipped mortgage payments to pay for her parents shortcomings resulting in my parents losing their house. Y'all must not have experience dealing with toxic parents or you dont even realize you have them. It's not healthy. Although I dont believe in ultimatums, I could not see myself dealing with a partner who has a toxic relationship with his parents. I'd have to end that real quick, I wouldn't even let it get to marriage tbh
@@bossytweed6664 I'm sorry to hear of your family's hardships. In my original message I included the words "WHEN NEEDED" as far as encouraging my wife or gf to care for her mother/family. I realize that everything isn't a NEED. When I replied to a previous comment as well I also mentioned that everything has a line and has its limitations. Each individual couple and family will have to work together to decide what sets those lines of comfort and limitations for them.
Garret Jones I see what you're saying however when an adult child is entangled in a toxic relationship with their parents theres a very blurred line when it comes to what's considered "in need" versus excessive. Trust me, my mother just could not see it that way and thats what the problem is. Could she afford to support her parents? Not at all but in her mind she wanted her parents to be comfortable so she couldn't see the problem with her mother not wanting to downsize to an affordable senior apt living complex even if that meant putting a financial strain on herself.
I’m here with Loni my mom is my world and my Bestfriend , I’ve dealt with people trying to break my relationship with my family and that’s a no no , family comes first . People come and go but family Speacially mom is forever . Religion or not
True!
❤️
Depends on the mum, not all mums are made equal. My mum is amazing but many are not unfortunately.
Shari Vargas Unless you get married good luck it won’t last with this attitude
Well said loni you are the smart of the smartest in this group man comes and goes but your mama is your mama period as long as you have a healthy relationship with her valid point also tamara.
If it's a successful marriage then there shouldn't be an ultimatum. You discuss and understand the other person and fix it.
Amile Honstein You can’t fix toxic parents though unfortunately
I can agree with that
@@TheHairiestPotter Exactly. People who haven't experienced toxic parents have no clue what hell it is.
I would end that marriage so quick, I shouldn't feel like having to pick between my mom and my man, but thats just my opinion
Yeah so would I. That’s what wrong with some women put all their trust in a man. Nope men cheat moms be the one to wipe away the tears. I choose mom
@@theythrive2521 exactlyyy
Yup
Rttn Mlk then you prob didnt need to choose in the first place
Rttn Mlk then you prob didnt need to choose in the first place
I’m actually not mad that Jeannie puts her man before her mom because i know her story. But if it wasn’t for what she went through, I’d definitely disagree.
This is an old clip.
Momo M i know
Derickakash what did her mother do
@@Kadericka oh I get it now, history with her mom. I thought you meant the divorce. But yes although I agree with Loni for the most part, I mean of course you should not drop everything for a man who could turn out to be a jerk or leave you, the same could be said for your mother some cases. Each situation is different and blood isn't always thicker.
hey can someone explain what her mom did?
This is a tricky one. Yes, your HUSBAND (not "man" or "boyfriend") should come first. But at the same time, a man I marry wouldn't even put me in the position to even choose.
They might have to if your parents are toxic and don't have boundaries and you make him feel like he has to tell you to choose
@jessdaisy exactly!!!
Sometimes parents don't have proper boundaries when their children marry and low-key get jealous at the attention their child is giving their spouse and try to reassert their position which is unhealthy.
Honestly most people in relationships don't come in trying to break you from your parents unless there is a problem, so before choosing anyone there should be an honest conversation about why this is being proposed in the first place..
Totally agree. Seen it for myself when the parents got so jealous of the newlyweds that they kept interfering and acting like the spouse to their own child. It's pathetic and a control issue with the parents. It does happen, and it's the reason to get married so you have your own new family. Only insecure families hold their grown ass married child back.
YESS!!
Yes this happened to me with my MIL.I have never disrespected her but she made it her number one priority to show me directly and indirectly that she comes first no matter what..she didn't want her son to be romantically involved with anyone, get married,start a family etc. And i think it's so selfish of her because she had her kids and family
@@thesun3141 that is so wrong and sick. You come first, you are his family not her anymore.
@@WhatEver-mv6qi It was so stressful having to deal with her. From day one she didn't like me and I tried my hardest to be accepted by her until I just didn't care anymore. You can actually see the green eyed monster in her whenever I'm with her son now my husband...all the hateful looks,stares and insults it was terrible
NO MAN SHOULD "EVER" TELL A WOMAN THAT SHE HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER MOM OR HIM.
Right
Ray Williams yes that’s so toxic
Smith um right. Its universal.
@Kry Kry you should know that before you get married.
@john smith Yes, same. It is just wrong. It's like choosing between your spouse and your child. That man/ woman is someone child, grandchild. That kind of hard choice can push someone to the edge.
I understand why Jeannie chose her man over her mom, cuz they didn’t have a strong bond since her childhood, etc. (all info found in her RUclips channel stories). But if a man MAKES you choose? You might as well choose blood over any loser that isn’t willing to help out the very woman that gave birth to you.
Thelondonbadger it’s good to vent it out. Sorry you’re going through so much.
If you understand Jeannie's background and what she went through, then you get how that kind of trauma can mess you up. And not having anyone there to help you or believe you is the worst. When you are raised like that you are truly alone.
My mother molested me. I don't have to choose. I don't have "blood" to choose. That is all a lie. My father threw me down the stairs. People don't get there is stuff that happens that you'll never know about. And sometimes loved ones that come into your life after notice things that are messed up and try to help people get out and learn what love really means.
Qualia It’s super shameful how some parents are that forever changes their child’s’ lives ...Jeannie is speaking for audiences like yourself. I’m speaking for those who didn’t experience such tragedy. You’re right, there’s always both sides. Sorry you went through that.
ManTing Chan but now I think the answer would be different now since they have worked through there problems and issues.
morgan glenn could be, won’t know for sure until she says something. But the focus of this video isn’t even on Jeannie. Anyways, I said my two cents lol
This is such a loaded topic and context is important. The problem is A LOT of parents are toxic and have no problem becoming burdens on their adult children. I know in a lot of minority communities where poverty is rampant, we don't set things up for later in life and rely on our children to care for us regardless of how much of a strain it will be on them. My mother literally paid her parents bills (unbeknownst to my father) before their mortgage resulting in them losing their house. My parents almost divorced over it.
I want to be able to create a life to where my future kids won't ever have to worry. I want to be able to take care of everything for myself and my children until the day I die, not the other way around!
Absolutely. It's all about context. People don't get that and it's hard for them to understand when they've had great parents who provided for them and listened and gave them love. And there are parents who act like the worst kind of criminals towards their children or/and just take whatever they can get and use their children. No child deserves that, minor or not.
Qualia Exactly! Not to mention, a lot of adult children don't even realize how toxic their parents are being a lot of us are conditioned to believe our parents are our responsibility once theyve gotten old. Like no, people need to make better choices in their youth so they set themselves up to not be burdens on their adult children.
Good point.
Ever heard of a narcissistic mom... they want you to be a genie and granted everything she’s wishes for!… (personal experience).
Are you writing my biography? relatable
Qualia we’re the special one 😓 just got tired of being a good daughter but feel taken advantage of by my own mother! Imagine doing your best to make your parent happy... but it’s never good enough for her.
I'm sorry you have to go through that I feel you 100%
Me too... My man's mom is like a third person in our relationship. Always there, always needing to know everything , calling all the time (by that i mean multiple times a day) , making excuses to come over and crossing my boundaries (getting her nose through everything in our home). She is a nice person overall but she's overwhelming. Also she is making comments about me gaining a little bit of weight, or not having voice good for singing... When i met her for the first time she said i'm more beautiful in pictures than in real life... And i got caught off goard
If my husband made me choose.. then I married the wrong man!
Clearly u've never seen just no mother in law (JNMIL).
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially*
Your parent has to respect your relationship and your partner should respect your mom. It has to go both ways or it’s a mess.
Family always comes first. My parents were there first and will always be there for me. 1. Ultimatums should never be acceptable 2. If you want to marry me and be apart of my life, you have to understand I will always be supportive of my parents if they need me like they did for me. I am lucky, my man understands my relationship with my parents and has actually created a similar relationship with my parents. We are both there for them through thick and thin as they are for us.
And have you created a similar relationship with your man's family? I mean, is there a balance or are you both much more with your family ?
PERIOD...
Nyotaa Mahogany yep! We are close with them as well. We are with our family a good amount but together. Yes we spend time together as just a couple, but we both enjoy being around our families.
Thelondonbadger thank you for your insight! I am lucky as my parents are well off and financially stable by them selves. It’s a theme in my family to be close knit and we are all very open with each other and are open to opinions but everyone is very respectful which makes it easy. You have a great point! If my parents needed money due to unforeseen circumstances and we could support them, I would. But if they are using me or my spouse in order to get by easy, then that would be very frustrating. My partner is African American, but his family is very much like mine that they are independent. I am an only child, I think subconsciously I feel like I will always want to help them because of everything they did for me, but if they were abusing that, the relationship I have with them would be very different
I’m totally with Loni!!! Men come and go. Your mama will always be there!
Hontey. When you are married you put your spouse first. Your marriage comes first. Your mom isn't in the marriage. That does not mean you have to cut off your Mom though. Although, At the end of the day, if one of them is toxic and you have to make a choice, choose wisely. Every situation is different. Sometimes your man or girl is crazy and wants to pull you away from your family. Sometimes your mom really is overstepping her boundaries or treating your spouse wrong. Sometimes you just gotta take a long look at each relationship.
Exactly
Mel Mel 100% agree I was waiting on someone to say it
Amen
@Sariah Johnson I Agree with you!
Right. Stay boyfriend and girlfriend.
thank god for loni during this segment, because the fact that none of them clocked that your partner making you choose between your own mother and your marriage is emotional abuse and that’s shocking.
I love loni’s opinions about the girls reasons for an assistant!!! 😂😂 Get it girl, independence at its finest!
Depends on how the mother in laws act. There are some mother in laws that are not always nice. Or say things that are mean.
It shouldn't lead to ultimatum, the person can be worst person on Earth, you as the child can decide how you want to deal with that, your spouse being supportive of your decision but not him/her telling you cut the person off for good. No!
@@elizabethtimothy4776 if that mother on law is not respecting boundaries and putting strain on the other spouse, it is not just for the other spouse to deal with. People don't go straight to an ultimatum. If the wife didnt handle her mother and get her to respect their boundaries and marriage, it's perfectly fine for the husband to say they cant do it anymore.
@@cratcliff8820 that is what happened. He asked after the mother kept taking his money and demanding he pays for everything in her life even though she used to have a job. Now she also has a low life boyfriend that her son in law "should" finanse. He had enough and demanded her out of their lives.
I agree with Loni, my mama over any man!
Then you're not ready for marriage. There's a reason why we don't take vows with our parents. Cleave to your husband, not your mama. First God, then marriage, then your kids, then your mama. When you don't believe in that, your marriage is going to suffer.
@@saltycat662 Actually, it hasn't suffered.
I'm with Loni on this one. Tam's perspective makes sense though.
It's his money he had it before he got married. Her mother is able bodied but won't work and wants them to take care of her boyfriend as well.
Where'd you get this information
Shawn Dyer his also GAYY and che@ts on her with black men on his “business trips” he’s also been arrested for s*xually harassing a cameraMAN and has harassed the other wives husbands on the show
@@shayslay3416 I watch the show, & it's very much true, she's a hard core free-loader.
Oh no!! Then yeah cut her out
Yall assuming that everyone is cool with their mom. What if you ain't that cool with your mom, I would choose my husband over her any day, all day
I’m not assuming that because of course in that sense you are obviously going to choose your man but my mother is pretty much my best friend so I will choose her over anybody. That fact that man has that much entitlement asking that question thinking I would choose him is beyond me.
No man. I dont think that's the point.
The problem here is, that this man is MAKING you choose.
Whether you're close to your mom or not is irrelevant. But i think the question really is, are you okay with him threatening to leave if you don't do what he says? Which is to cut ties with your mom.
Maybe its easy to cut ties with your mom but is it easy to know that it wasn't really your decision and someone you love put you in a position that forced you to choose. Its lowkey manipulative. If he has the balls to tell you to pick him or he'll dump you, what else could he threaten you with.
Also would you really stop speaking to the person who gave birth to you, just because some man tells you to?
You don't have to be close to your mom. Hell, you dont even have to like her. But the point is that if you cut her off, it should be because you've decided to on your own. Not because some man told you to.
I think thats what some people are getting at
suxexa again, that’s why it’s based on the situation. You don’t even know their story or what made him even get to that point. No one is even saying that you specifically are assuming lol no one cares how close you are with your mom. That’s not the point of this comment.
Damn I bet your mother wish she never gave birth to you 😂
I was engaged to a man who’s mom was a complete narcissist (and she was racist) but she definitely tried to get in between us and she succeeded because he allowed it to happen. Im no longer in that relationship, but there are MANY parents out there who are extremely toxic and absolutely need to be cut off at some point.
Latinos take care of Mom and Dad its hard to separet when we get marry. Mom always come first Husban will cheat and kick you fast your Mother always gona be there. 👍
Marie A. That's what I am talking about, represent 😁😀
Then don't get married, so you'll avoid the heartache now and look after your family.
We can tell that’s happened to you lol
@@miltonhenderson2588 it happen in all latinos family we are closed.
@Thelondonbadger we are united at the point the mothers lives with daugther in the same house and help them raise their childrens
Most time when someone have to choose between their spouse, or their parent it's because the parent has no damn respect for their adult child. Off topic; Tamera's left eyebrow is driving me crazy🙈
Exactly.
And by the time a spouse is giving an ultimatum, they've probably reached their wits end that the other spouse failed to handle properly.
That part!! Some parents are toxic asf. I grew up with toxic grandparents and it hurts me to even have to acknowledge that my parents marriage has been stronger since they passed away. This conversation is situational as Tamera said. I don't believe in ultimatums though. I personally wouldn't be with someone who has a toxic relationship with their parents. I knew how shitty my family dynamic was growing up because of that so I wouldn't want to put my future kids through it.
Exactly!!. Everyone saying their mom comes first I’m like but they’d be mad if that dude put his mom before them!! It’s not ok to put other people ahead of your husband/wife.
@@bpadilla123 Totally agree with you. Like the mother needs to her own life and let the married couple be, jeez. I see it all the time, especially in Indian culture were the mother insists that her grown ass married son live with her forever. And if the wife disagrees and wants them to move out, then she's considered 'breaking the family' insecure or what. I don't care if my own aunties are mother in laws, I will tell them to leave their married sons alone. Why get the sons married only to keep mothering them afterwards too.
Ohh the table have turn!!!! They all say a man should choose his wife over HIS mom, now they all hesitant when it's the other way....
No, it goes thesame way. My mother in law is my mum. I call her mom from the go. His parents are my parents and to even disrespect them is not only to disrespect my husband, my parents but God. I will never want to be a disobedient child!
Yeah the double standards are insane
Momma first, all day everyday!!
My husband comes first! I agree with Tamara depending on the situation. If my mother needed help I would sit down with my husband and together we will come up with a solution to help her but I can't be her bank especially if my husband isn't on board.
It really depends on the relationship with my mother , some mothers are very toxic and aren’t looking out for the best when it comes to their daughters.
Unless you have an amazing mom please protect her and your bond over any man🌿
You're absolutely correct 100%. Honestly, I think and I believe that it depends on your Mum has a person. My mum has done a lot for me that, it's rare to see such a gem like her. She has given her whole and all to her children. She ensure that we have everything she never had. She did it on her own. I don't think a man can do such for his wife honestly. I can never trade my mum for anything and anybody . I love her to pieces.
Faidat Adeleke God Bless your relationship it's sacred 🦋
@@rudyroche6893 amin. God bless your relationship too.
I agree! 🙌🏻
I agree with Loni. My Mom and I are the same. She is all I had growing up in terms of parentage. If any man told me that I couldn't be there for my Mom in tough times, I would leave them in an instant! That is not right on any level.
Husband and kids come first, mama comes second unless she's homeless or needs food or money.
This!!! I think people are thinking if you put your husband first then you're pushing your parents aside. Not at all. But you and your husband are one. People go into marriage with a mindset that your spouse is replaceable. So in most people's lives their spouse is always last when they should be first.
Your parents are above anyone else. The fact that someone would even give you an ultimatum is so strange. I’m choosing my parents lol
Ain't no man coming before my mom...!!
With Ashley’s situation, she needed to cut her off. She is living off of her husbands money and the mom’s boyfriend is too. Her mom is toxic
The answer to this depends on how toxic the parent is. Parents need to respect boundaries and some don't. In that case, sometimes you gotta cut people off. Especially with money. I'm sure there are cultural divides in these comments, but I didn't give birth to my children so they could support me when I'm old. I'm not going to mooch off them when I'm old and I sure as hell expect my mom and mother in law not to mooch off us. Helping once in a while is one thing but fully supporting a grown ass adult parent? Oh hell naw.
And by the time a spouse has to give an ultimatum, it's the other spouses fault for not handling it appropriately up to that point. It probably didn't start right with an ultimatum. The moment I told you it was past the amount I'm comfortable with it should've been addressed with the parent.
And this "oh he's replaceableeeeeee" bullshit. That man is my husband and father of my children. We've been married for going on 8 years. Some of y'all would really divorce your soulmate because you have a greedy mom and try to justify that greed because 30+ years ago she birthed you. I birthed my children because I wanted to raise amazing little human beings. They don't owe me anything for birthing them. The people in your home are the priority (spouse and kids). Extended family is great but there's gotta be boundaries.
People don't want to hear that. Hell some people dont even realize they have a unhealthy toxic relationship with their parents. I grew up with my mom's mother hating my dad. It was such a horrible family dynamic. What also made it worse was that my grandmother was an addict (rest her soul) so when she'd get upset because we'd leave holiday gatherings early to spend the rest of the day with our dad, you can only imagine the vitriol she'd spew. My entire childhood, there wasn't a holiday that didnt end with verbal abuse from my grandmother over my dad. But my mom still took care of everything financially for her parents until they died. It was so bad that (unbeknownst to my dad) my mom was missing mortgage payments to keep her parents lights on. My parents lost their home because of it and almost ended their marriage.
Its so sad to have to even acknowledge that my parents marriage has been so much stronger since my grandparents passed away😞 I don't believe in ultimatums but I personally couldn't accept creating a family with a man who has toxic parents. I know how fucked up my family dynamic was as a child so wouldn't ever want to put my future children through that!
Mothers generally sacrifice a lot for their children, and I'm not talking only financially. But I agree with Tam about being situational - a mother that abandons you to have a free lifestyle is definitely not to be chosen over a man that loves and cares for you. Just an example.
And you wont be a mother without your spouse, so spouse > mom
I'm with loni on this one, jeannie you are dead wrong for that, I loved when loni said men come and go we only have one momma, I bet that hit jeannie that she had to think for a sec, you can tell by her facial expression change
I think Jeannie, made that comment base on her long feud with her mum. I was not surprised. This man that is issuing this ultimatum must not have had a strong relationship with his mum.
I think it's dependent on your family dynamics....my mom abandoned me as a child time & time again. My husband, on the other hand, is the most loyal, devoted, loving person I have ever met. I put him first because I know he's there for me. I cannot trust my mom & never will have a normal mother/daughter relationship with her. That's not my fault, it's hers.
Men come and go. Spouse don't.. how often you get married in your life time? The saying your spouse should come first seems to be forgotten. I pretty sure if a wife told her husband to chose between her or his mom, he'll have to chose the wife or he's a 'mama's boy'.
And now she is divorced… so much for the sass
I love how Loni is shutting down all these bougie, slave-driving, fairytale movie suggestions or reasons for a Personal Assistant. They're all ridiculous. 🙄
They're just imagining, sheesh. Loni was being a downer for no reason LOL
Slave driving? Could you imagine a job where all you had to do for 8 hours was turn down covers and start someone’s bath? They’ll have nothing to do most of the day.
@@EllePlowPlow Yes it's slave-driving. Adrienne mentioned she would want someone to wake up before her and be her alarm clock. That sounds like a modern day live-in "Personal Assistant" aka HOUSE SLAVE to me. They are requiring a 24 hour servant (constantly available person) who can:
1. Be awake before them and then wake them up.
2. Run their bubble bath
3. Make their beds
4. Pull up their panties
5. Plan (organize, schedule) their daily lives. Be their memory and brain.
6. Be their teacher.
7. Follow them to work to light the candles in their dressing room ... like how ridiculous is this one.
8. On hand. ON CALL (aka must not have a life) to chauffeur them.
9. Be their photographer (again requiring another person's constant presence, fake patience, and time)
10. Lie for them
11. Be their Butler
12. Go grocery shopping for them and be their Cook
13. Do their laundry
14. Walk the dog
Only thig left for them to say is "I need someone to wipe my a**"
So basically this person must not have a life of their own because their life must revolve around the lives of their Master.
Sweet MelissaKing it wasn’t meant to be this serious.. chill out. It was all for fun. I’m sure she doesn’t need any of it in the literal sense.
That's exactly what I thought. That's an alarm clock. That's uber. That's your husband 😂
Mom. My mom is my world!!! And you shouldn’t have to choose between them. Guys we need more likes on this video! Love The Real ❤️❤️❤️ say safe!!!
Alexandra Tonico It’s just you don’t want to hear the truth from a man’s perspective
Ok. Fine with
me. It just depends on the viewers perspective. Thanks for your feedback 😊
Ha.. I want to see once your married and your wife telling you to chose them over your mom, how fast you chose the wife.
Number one, I’m a girl and two I will always love my mom before my husband! So speak for your self! 🙄
@@alexandratonico3662 Usually you put your spouse first before anyone else. So i'm guessing your not married.
I love how genuine and relatable all of them are! That's what makes them different.
I'm kind of jealous because it seems that almost everyone in the comments have an amazing relationship with their mother
Allen Payne dont worry. its bc the children of broken families arent commenting. we exist!
The Mom, the mom, the mom. What about the Dad? These innuendos and "issues" always seem to stem from Single Mothers who never marry, and they use their children to carry the "weight" of their "missing man". I'm sorry, that is an unfair burden to place on your children, IMO.
Exactly! Thank you. The father is supposed to be there for the mother in old age.
This is what happens when we have a broken family system and people not being selective about partners before they have children with them.
Lmao I can't with Adrienne at the end.
"Yo Why no one told me that growing up I had to sleep in my damn closet with the Dress on" 😂😂😂
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12, I will love my husband but I will respect my parents 110% 👏🏼
tabitha rodriguea the bible says you are to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse but I guess you didnt get to that part of the bible yet
Honor doesn't mean to provide their every need without reason. I agree with Tamera, it is situational. Also, you shouldn't be with a man that is not mature enough to have a an honest conversation with you and come to a compromise if the situation requires it.
Christian Soldier See the issue with that right there is you’re picking what you like from the Bible and not reading the whole thing. Yes I will leave my parents and be one with my husband, but the line of love and respect I have for my parents will not change. I will respect and love my husband, his wishes and his parents but he better respect me and my parents. Communication and Respect on both sides.
@@tabitharodriguez9891 You are picking what you want to ignore from the bible. The bible says your spouse comes first CASE CLOSED.
Christian Soldier Wrong God comes First then the Spouse ,but if the Spouse is not running the house accordingly then it takes a strong WOMEN to take it on.
I love how Tamera explains her points of view.
It's funny how Jeannie said what she said knowing how her family bombarded her and Jeezy's home.
Yoh Tamera your mother is beautiful, she looks like she could be your sister:)
She had her in her early 20s. She's beautiful.
Husband comes first !!! Mom is still mom and you’ll be there for her but HUSBAND COMES FIRST!
Gypsy Spirit yo crazy he’s gonna and then what
But you never know if thats gone be your husband forever and if y’all get divorced how you going to go back to your mom when she and you both know you value a man more then her
It depends on the situation, and it also depends on the day. I’m all about “family comes first” but guess what? The moment I said, “I do” my husband became my family too. ❤️
I'm with Loni here, men come and go I'm choosing my mama 😊
According to our Most High there is an order... Our Father, Husband, wife, children then it can be mom. Messing up that order will put a judgement on your entire family. Moms will get u in trouble. If moms need help then the hubby and wife talk about it and help.
Here so early the title was just numbers 😂
Lmao loni is hella funny 😹😹 she said your spoiled asses don’t need no assistants
Lonnie is killing me with the assistant part 😩💀 *states a fact or solution* "ok"
it really do depend on the situation because some of y’all in the comments saying you would choose your mother over anything but like if your mother was attacking your marriage wouldn’t you be like you need to back off or we can’t have a relationship
I think it's important to remember the relationship that Mama Mai and Jeannie had growing up. I think that's a lot of the reason as to why she might've said what she said
No, I am an atheist and have an amazing relationship with my mum and I love her to death, but I love my spouse more. I am not in love with my mum and my kids wont be made with her but with him.
So we are all different. (I said I am an atheist because I dont agree with Jeannie based on the Bible, I just see it as a logical strain of events)
Men come and go. Mother always comes first. Would leave this man in a heartbeat. You can say no to mom but if it's a choice, its mom.
I love in this clip, she be coming up with solutions for everything the other ladies want🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣she ain’t wrong though🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yah no, I believe its a balance. But my mom has been their through thick a thin. A mother’s love ain’t going nowhere, but everyone’s different. A man can love you but if something were to happen, they can come and go. Overall it’s a balance, if you in a relationship where you have to choose, that’s not the right one I believe.
I’d choose my mom over ANYONE EVERYDAY. My momma gave me life, she gave me EVERYTHING I ever needed to become a strong, independent woman of self-respect and values. I owe my momma everything I am, everything I have, and everything I’ll ever be. My mom made me who I am. Men come and go.
First time I’m agreeing with Loni and disagreeing with Jeanie.
My husband will be first!
Don't call yourself a child of God, then try to justify his word! That's NOT how it's meant to be.
Do it like Inessa DIY exactly! Jesus stated how it should be done
First of all what you’re not gonna do is give me an ultimatum. That’s a NO. My mom is my everything, if you are gonna tell me to choose between my man or my mom, I’m gonna choose my mom. PERIODT
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially* .
You should chose a man that loves your Mom and wants to cover and comfort her just like you would.
It’s different when she financially needs help and when she’s just asking for money and spending and spending on unnecessary things. I’d be bothered by my man giving his mom money just for her to splurge, but I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum I’d have a talk that maybe not so often or something l. People need boundaries and sadly some do take advantage of situations like this
Traditionally, your husband comes first. You are bound by him, and are one flesh with him. So why separate? You took a vow to by stand your husband, not your mom. Also, in my culture, the wife would now belong part of the husband's family so there's no going back lol
absolutely love it and agree with Tamara, I think respect is crucial to solving issues like that. Mom or husband whatever the situation do the right thing with respect and love
"this is a tough one" lmao no no it's not wtf
Well, I don’t need no book telling me how to prioritize the people in my life. I think it’s natural for family to feel pushed out when a member enters a new relationship. But again, marriage is all about compromise. Men are often replaceable and the issue with marriage is that people are expected to be in for the long run. HOWEVER, it is a constant work and process and sometimes, you have to leave. Look at Jeanne, she divorced. Mothers aren’t always the best and with that, I will say it is situational. If your mom didn’t care for you at all and neglected you, get out. Any toxic relationship, get out. But if your mother was there and loved you, you can’t neglect sacrifices made. She gave you her body, her beauty, ultimately, her life and for it to be taken for granted like that, it can be painful.
I think the take away here is to never neglect those who have been there for you. Form boundaries and understand your relationship with each are different. It’s like choosing between your children your spouse. You just have to be think about the basis of the relationship and never push someone who has been there out.
I’m with Loni 100%, there is NO man that will make me choose him over my momma, boy bye!
I don't think people in the comment section understand. This is not just any man. It's 'husband' or 'wife' situation. And when you get married your spouse is your first priority. And Tameras right when referring to that women's particular situation, the parent interfering needs to know their place.
Jeannie was right in what she said. Marriage require that kind of commitment. Leave and cleave.
Hardeep Bhambra Jeannie chose him Over her mother late on he got another woman pregnant guess who was there for Jeannie
@@-.a9942 Jeannie was right to do so. She stood by her covenant. I understand what happened with Freddie getting someone else pregnant, but I also understand that there's an enemy to kill, steal and destroy.
-. A but her Mom wasn’t there when she was being sexually abused. Is that a Mother’s love? There’s context to Jeannie’s response.
Literally my favourite show of all time
"I was going to sleep in that dress.. " DAMN 🤣🤣🤣 Adrienne, I know this is old but you have to use Google more! 😅
I can somewhat relate. My husband of 7yrs. always chose his mother, over me
Why though? I believe it should depend on the situation, for instance if there is only one car, and mum wants to go somewhere at thesame time as the wife then the mum should be taken just because of age while the wife can wait or take Uber. No one should ever feel left out.
That is wrong. Your husband is probably a mama's boy.
There's no, probably to it.
Well I told my husband to choose between me and his cruel, narcissistic family. I dealt with their abuse for almost a decade and it was affecting my health. I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him we either have to go no contact with them or get a divorce. He chose me because he saw their cruelty. They were cruel to him too. We have been no contact for 11 years and we've never been happier. My family treats my husband great so at least we have that.
That’s my story right there !!! Husband of dream but mother in law of night mare 🙄🙄🖐🏼
My mom is my everything. She raised me alone and worked hard to make sure I had everything I needed. My husband knows our bond and respects that. She also knows not to get involved in our marriage all the time
There's a ex husband, never heard of an ex mom
loni and tam's face when jeannie was talking about parents is sending meeee, she didn't even pause to think for a second
YES LONI 💜 Mother comes first..
Basically y’all need a babysitter 🤣Loni is having non of it 🤣🤣🤣this was funny ! Love y’all
One thing that I would have my assistant to do is, write my other books
Your mom..!! Why would you want to put a man in front of mom..?? Even if ya married. If you love your mom soooo much why would you do that...?? Like Loni said "men come & go "...!! So I definitely agree with Loni.
Wtf? My mom sacrificed everything to raise me properly, the least I can do is to give her back what I can. Honestly, if my husband gives me such an ultimatum I would leave his ass because NO husband should tell you to choose either him, either your mom... He even should be asking you in what way he can also help!!!!!
In relation to this particular situation Ashley's parents are toxic. Her mom didn't work and blew through 3k a month to take care of her lazy boyfriend who as well didn't work. Not to mention it was the husbands money so he had all rights to feel the way he felt.
Sir ,we wouldn’t be having this conversation without my mom ; please stop thinking you’re not replaceable .
Periodt
If you watch RHWOP... you would know that Ashleys mom was going through a vicious cycle with a man in her life who bought all negativity. Ashley fought continuously to try and help her mother improve with little to no progress. Michael provided Ashley with most things, if not everything financially. Which Ashley used to help support her mom. Because of the vicious cycle Michael wanted Ashley to stop feeding her moms habits and lifestyle until they both saw change in her. Ashley explained their concerns to her mom but it seemed more of excused then change for quite some time . (They are way past these issues as of today according to the show) I am not saying the threat of divorce is acceptable. Like wtf does that...but there’s a lot of backstory to this topic.
TiffanyJaèTV ! Exactly!
Does everything need to be about religion? There’s context involved in life. You can’t blindly follow the same rule for every scenario.
What kind of man would make you choose between him and your mother especially you and your mom had a very strong relationship she raised you help you get through difficult times stayed up all night when you were sick going to school performances and some are a single parent and work two jobs to make ends meet all for you to grow up and turn your back on her no way that is not how it it works don't forget where you came from because you got money
Hope everyone is holding up well during this pandemic
Lmfao Loni was cracking me up in this
If Ashley is giving her mom money that comes from Ashley’s bank account there shouldn’t be a problem.
luxaholic anonymous that’s just what I was thinking 👏🏼
In a real marriage there is no "Ashley's bank account" everything is available to both parties.
The man is the head decision maker on it too.
This independent thinking is yet another example of why marriage is almost dead in society.
Elohim Rules - “independent thinking” is how the world evolves. If it were up to you women would have no option but to stay home, cook, clean and take care of the children. You should move to a third world country where women are considered as second class citizens.
anonymous you'll see that I'm right but itll be too late when you do.
luxaholic anonymous 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
There's not a right or wrong answer...
It always depends on the relationship you have with them 😊
And on the particular situation.
Me... If my mom could throw me under the bus she would do that without thinking. So for me would be pretty easy to chose my man (not any man, my lifelong partner)
Your man or your husband?Funny how even those that claim to be Christians ignore the vow to forsake all others.Why marry if the vow is meaningless?Don't mean to cut family off but spouse and the family you create should be #1 priority.
Barbara Richardson I thins man who deserve respect and it’s a good man would never put you in that situation.
Speaking of marriage and Biblical principles that not only apply to men.There should be boundaries set .One can love and be supportive of family and yet have priorities in order.Many have allowed family to destroy what could have been a good marriage.Bottom line is a loving mother and family should know their place.
Never ever...bfs, men come and go. You have ONE mother. That's all you get. Again, Lonnie, I agree with you. Lonnie, is/was a engineer. She's very intelligent. My SO is a engineer. They say it as it is, are very analytical. Lonnie shut the pretentious assistant bs down.I Love her.
First of all it’s his money. Technically she doesn’t have a job.
Y'all are the best to watch! Some chats are super interesting and thought-provoking. Binging during Working from Home.