the PICKME mom and NPC dad epidemic - daughters used for fame and money
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- Опубликовано: 16 апр 2024
- The first 500 people to use my link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare skl.sh/manifestelle04241
In this episode, Elle delves into the topic of parents using their children for personal gain, especially focusing on mothers who prioritize their own desires for validation, fame, and wealth over their children's well-being. She discusses notable cases such as the experiences of Jennette McCurdy, Wren Eleanor, and Gypsy Rose. Elle concludes the podcast by arguing that the societal pressure to not criticize mothers allows harmful behaviors to go unchecked, causing significant harm to their children. She encourages listeners to differentiate between unnecessary mom shaming and pointing out endangering behavior.
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Calling out NPC fathers is so necessary, omg...
exactly💅🏽
Took me decades to hold my "barely there, " now deceased father accountable! He divorced my abusive, narcissistic mother and left me and my sisters behind in the lion's den!😠😡😠😡
That’s always my first question, “where’s the father?,” there’s a certain amount of accountability that’s due from the parent that’s NOT there
💯💯💯Amen!
@@therealmanifestelle fitting title for thoes NPC fathers elle 👏👏
This was always an argument I had. "That's not my job as a father."
"Then what is your job?"
"I'm the provider."
"SIR, THEN WHY AM I WORKING? YOU'RE LITERALLY TELLING ME YOU HAVE ONE JOB."
💯 Spot on.
Withdraw all your money and put it into a private account. He wants to play provider-caretaker? Let's do it, we'll see how long you last.
@Lillith. He's been gone for 3 years and I'm doing just fine.
@@amyleigh7624congrats girl, hope your life is well 💕
My father always told me to provide for myself, even when i was a kid. He barely provided even food for my mother, me and my sibling, the worse thing is my mother is a housewife. He made our life so miserable when we needed something to the point I tried to unalive myself and what he did after? he stopped talking to me instead of being a better father:( I'm still stuck with him because of financial dependence, idk how long this will last but I hope I make it alive at least.
They say a girl’s first bully is a mother, and it shouldn’t be that way :(
mine is my father.
Mine is my first bully, worst bully, first abuser, worst abuser. She still to this day has me trapped because my ex financially abused me and now she is too. Except when I was away at university I have always done all her domestic labour, from the moment I was physically able to. I love her but I also resent her with all my being. I feel like a failure at 28, I recently found out I’m autistic, and I have very little hope to keep on living. Plus I’m an only child so everything falls on my shoulders.
@@KaylaNoelle1 I'm really sorry to hear this. Are there any nearby women's centers or subsidized apartments by you? Are you able to currently work?
I’ve never heard of that!!! That’s horrible. I have amazing women and men in my family. So grateful 🥹
Never. Never, ever ever. My mother bullied me. I have two daughters, who will never be bullied by me or anyone else.
I disagree, parentified daughters know motherhood and most of us dont want children because of it
Most is a loud statement. My childhood friend was basically a mother to all her siblings and wanted her own kids very bad. I know few other women like that. On the flipside, I've never been around kids much and I don't want them. So there's more to not wanting children than just being parentified. You sure are more aware of what children are about tho, so it's for sure far more planned step than for others.
THIS!! This is the #1 reason I don’t want children.
oh my god yes. i love my baby brother more than anything (he's 10 now he's not a baby anymore 😭) but i could not ever have a kid. and honestly not just for this reason, i dont wanna bring a kid into the world we're living in. feels very cruel
YES
“Forcing their wives to provide…” Jeanette’s dad was even worse. His minor daughter was providing for his family.
Her dad really was a NPC. I do feel bad for him cause he was married to a narc and he stayed to keep the kids safe from her wrath (he was unsuccessful tho). She literally conceived three of their 4 kids with other men 😬😬
Lucky are the ones who have good fathers
Yea
I was raised by a pick me mom in a religious household. My entire self worth was based on how men perceived me. I always said I knew my mom wished for a son over a daughter because she treated men with much more kindness than she ever treated me with. Im 8 years no contact.
Religious mothers are the worse !!! Took me years to understand that having sex didnt make me a worthless empty Shell... Virginity is not a seal, is not the only thing that brings a woman value... My mom was SO religious she used to told me that having sex before marriage was a sin and inwild burn in hell 😅
Thats why now i'm atheist, i can simple not follow a religion that have so MANY passages on the bible about bing pure
@@AyAReI00 Your comment lacks empathy.
@@audreyandrea460 Speak for yourself. What do you even mean by that? The girlies are feeling safe and sharing their shitty experiences in a way that shows support through solidarity.
@@audreyandrea460 ironic you would say that.
@@AyAReI00 in almost all historical religion on earth purity is valued over promiscuity and you have to marry young and be a virgin up until marriage.
That’s not a made up rule by your mother, it’s actually a staple in almost all countries all around the world as far as religious views, values and also the overall view of women.
Even today a virgin bride to be has a higher social status then a beaten up old blue haired feminist who had 10 live in boyfriends and 3 baby daddies… that’s just reality.
Your mother tried to shield you from spiritual damage and social status loss.
Even new agers believe as other most ancient religions that once you have sex a soul tie is formed, your energy as a woman is so valuable you should not allow any man to use it.
It would be fair that the man who wants to use your life giving energy would also agree to love you and provide you in front of the whole society with marriage
Your mother was not wrong at all
I’m a nanny and the amounts of NPC fathers I have meet is crazy. They revert to watching their own children as babysitting. No sir. I’m babysitting. You’re parenting.
The fact that we praise father for the most basic things such as a nappy change, going to the playground with their children or bathing them is sad.
I nannied for a long time and one thing that always shocked me was when I had to babysit because mom was going out. Dad couldn’t do bedtime so I’d go for just 2 hours to put the kids to bed while he sat his ass on the couch.
Υes this... Praising fathers for doing the bare minimum...
"I can do it all..but why would I want?" THIS. Men getting a free ride for a wife and family while all they have to do is exist in the same house is not a true father. As someone who was blessed wit ha great father, until he passed shortly before my 12th birthday, I'll say this: being truly loved by my father was one of the greatest blessings I have ever received in my life. I just turned 30 and I still feel blessed that I had him in the short time that I did.
the way that you speak about your father is so beautiful. I can tell he clearly raised an amazing and eloquent young woman ❤
Imagine dads ❤❤❤
My mother is a "Boy-mom" who had only daughters. She always sl√t shamed me for socializing with boys but never did that to other men even when they resorted to violating behavior, putting the blame on girls saying that they did something to deserve it. She constantly competed with me, compares her educational qualification with mine all the time. My father is a rich man but she lived a simple life, all she wanted was to win against someone. If she didnt get that win she would often completely alienate those people. If she had a son, she would definitely constantly compete with his wife/gf and would see nothing wrong with him. She literally has a nephew who was abusive to all of his gfs, they all left him quickly (thank god!), but I've never heard a single bad thing about him from her mouth. In fact when I criricised him once to his mother she and my aunt accused me of being "disrespectful" and threatened to walk out of my house, made a huge spectacle to intimidate me into silence, as if I care if they stay or leave 🙄
It's sad how women are hated by other women.
I have seen many boy mom's one guy who was in his 26 wants to date a underage girl, thank God she didn't get involved with him, he did almost every disrespectful scum bag behaviour towards girl's but his family never tried to hold him accountable.
Their family only thinks about how their daughters can't have a little fun in their life that's it.
I wonder if the bitter unhappy grandmothers mentioned by other men are just women who realized they wasted their life not living up to their happiness and didn't have at least one genuine friendship with another woman because of the hatred they've been holding for many years since they were little girls
I haven’t started the video but I immediately wanted to point out people like the Kardashian sisters using their daughters on social media constantly but hardly ever using their sons
I mean, their fans are mostly women so it makes sense they display their daugthers more, right?
@@user-fo5gc8rf9knot really cuz boy moms, they’re missing out on a whole toxic subset!
@@user-fo5gc8rf9k Yes, they are known as girl moms for a reason.
Elle... To this day when my mother brings up that she became a teacher instead of an accountant... I find myself reminding her that she had kids at 26 and 40. She graduated college at 22!!! But she will make it seem like her unfulfilled dreams is our fault. If you wanted to be an accountant, you should've stayed in that major, if you wanted to marry rich, you shouldn't have picked the man who is lazy and cheap or the already married man. And she will still spend all her energy being upset at me for fulfilling my own dreams and enjoying my life. 😂 I feel bad laughing when she starts that but i do laugh because im going to enjoy my life and do what i envision for my life.
Wait. The wild dream she had to give up was being an accountant? Bizarro.
Same
@@mollygrace3068 she probably wanted more money. Accountants are the way to go for a solid six figure career
@@mollygrace3068 very!!! 😂 she thought she would be in spaces with rich people and meet a man there to marry. But she didn't stick to her own plan for her life. So that's why I smile because I'm fulfilling my dreams and doing what I say I'm going to do.
@@youtubesupportsfascism her accountant job would've paid her way more than being a teacher. As good as she is at some stuff, her ability to follow thru with her good plans/wants/desires is trash. I'm going back to school for a career change. My follow thru is amazing. She hates that because I don't have to tell a bunch of people or even say it over and over. I say it once, start planning then do it. And back then, in the right position or company, it would have guaranteed a six figure salary.
you’re always coming out with videos weaving together recent pop culture events and bringing them into public conscience in a way that creates a message that’s not regurgitated or reproduced like so many other commentary channels, so much love to this channel
I so agree! Her channel has such an interesting new take and the best part is that her message empowers women. literally manifestelle is doing big things!!!
Literally my favorite channel!
thank you🤎🤎 I try
@@therealmanifestelle you deliver !
@@therealmanifestellewhat’s your sign or big 3 or dominants in your natal chart?
Moms don't even need to exploit you in the outer public world or social media. They'll do it in your own families, immediate and extended.
Okay everyone please hear me out. Why is Ruby Franke in jail and not her husband? You know, the woman who exploited her children online only to actually be abusing them in real life behind the scenes. They were still married. He only just now filed for divorce after she got taken in. To me, this is the biggest NPC father I’ve ever seen and no one is even talking about him?! He should be in jail right along with her?! He was their parent who had a responsibility to protect his children. But no, even society is letting him go for some odd reason? Thought it would be mentioned in this video 🤷♀️
Yeah he can't really say "I didn't know" because sir, these are your children, are they not your responsibility?! Isn't neglect a form of child abuse?
And not knowing your children are being mistreated can only hold water as an excuse for so long. Either way though. The mum was crazy. Idk if she cracked under the pressure of the expectations of the conservative Mormon values she tried to exemplify, but she was very deliberately and knowingly cruel and vicious so, I can't really say the husband is on the same level. They both failed their children completely. And he had a responsibility to look out for them. But he wasn't the one doling out cruel and unusual punishments. Having said that in Mormon households women sort of act under the authority of their husbands. I sort of wonder if the reason she was so ridiculously horrible physically with her sons is some sort of confused resentment and mysogony. I can't imagine the eco chamber was so strong that she really thought her "disciplinarian" approach hadn't crossed waaay over the line into pure insanity and torture. Anyway as the man maybe he sort of gave his tacit permission to the whole dynamic they had going simply by being man of the house, at no point seemed to second guess the fact that he's a father and not some guy who lives there. Like he just let her do whatever. I mean I'd never say "let" about a man and wife, but in this context it seems kinda like. Wtf.
How do things get this bad when supposedly there are two parents??
I’m so glad there is someone calling out the fathers. I had heard of the Gypsy Rose story countless times but not once have I heard someone talk about her father. The saddest part is men genuinely don’t think they have responsibility toward their children or the abuse their children undergo when they’re uninvolved/absent.
He was groomed by DeeDee. He was 17 and she was 24. The whole situation is sad
@shadowhunterartemis so??? He was a grown adult when these things happened to his kids. No wonder males never learned to take accountability, because there's always someone out there like you
@@xxromanovaxx6682 on point
@@xxromanovaxx6682Yes and the reason why fathers are needed, is because they teach the sons how to be responsible. Just like mothers are being a role model for their daughters.
The woman doesn't get pregnant on her own, someone makes her be that way.
My friend is a Munchausen's By Proxy survivor, and the hell she lived through was really something. They almost offed her twice. Very jealous mother and a narc NPC father.
She escaped, and is currently homeless.
💔
It is so difficult to survive let alone thrive. I’m always in survival mode. Give your friend a hug from me. And tell her she has to be her only priority! 🧿
😢😢😢 home was a hell
I can't imagine being jealous of my own child.
Someone has to be born evil for his/her to build that emotion for his/her own child he/she been raising for years.
This is why I believe that there should be a law that protects kids online and being used for views and $$.
Yes!!! Many states are finally enacting it! But I think it needs to be a national thing. Kids need actual protection, not protection theater.
NPC dads is a great term. The dads that are there and weren’t violent, worked, so we’re not allowed to criticise, cause we’ll be accused of having daddy issues. Which we get the blame for? Npc dads are literally the norm aren’t they? Allowing mums to fully take the reigns and do the most, good or bad. If you rarely see or interact with someone living under the same roof, you can’t really form any type of expectations or strong opinion on them. So it gets directed at mum good or bad. Idk I’m rambling but I’m convinced npc dads by doing nothing, are responsible for a lot of society’s problems. But no one talks about them, ever? Until now! Thanks Elle, love your content, I’m awake!
The generational trauma inflicted by pickme moms is no joke, I'm healing from three generations worth of toxicity at least! 😢 So grateful for the spoiled girlies and that I waited to date until I grew and healed!
So true 😔 it’s going to take a lot of therapy and inner work for sure. Praying for your healing journey ❤️🩹
I wish fathers knew how criminal minded narcissistic mothers can be, towards their children...
Men tend to underestimate women a lot, without giving them credit to how much damage they can inflict to other victims such as other women and even worse their own children. Internalised misogyny at it's peak without any safety or support.
As a former child welfare social worker, this is so true. Toxic moms and NPC fathers harm far more children than you think, and the harm caused is incredibly insidious and difficult to untangle by even the most talented of therapists. I have stories for days.
Please，share
@@redleeks6253 Here’s one: I had a runaway teen girl on my caseload who was trafficked for several years, chronically ill, and pregnant. When we finally found her mother, her mother said that this was the girl’s punishment from God for stealing her youth and that she deserved every bit of it. In all my years I had never seen that much hatred from a mother to child; it was bone-chilling. As for the dad, he’d pop up to give the girl spending cash, but was “too busy” to take her in. Long story short, it was a mess.
That's me right now
My father is an NPC. I always wondered where this twinge of deep absolute hatred I have when I think of him comes from bc He’S sO nIcE. Below bare minimum uselessness, I always knew😤. This is the 1st time anyone has ever covered this topic that I’ve seen. Nice work, bestie ❤
i can relate soo much, my dad follows my mother around like a puppy, he follows every one of her opinions and spoils the hell out of her. My dad never saves us from the manipulation, i’ve always liked my dad when my mom wasn’t around us, he’s like a whole different person
I felt bad when jeanette released her book and people victim shamed her without even reading the book. And the even scarier part is the unknown number of mothers who are inbetween normal and the extreme who are just as harmful.
Your advice "get that bag!" is so damn on point. My career has freed me to escape my entire narcissistic family (I am a literal orphan by choice and a mom so it's TOUGH) and happily my insurance covered the therapy 😄
what you've experienced is being an "emotional orphan". me, too, btw. It's so pianful. we officially still have our parents, bc they're alive, but we never truly "had" them. Parenting the self is so important to undo the fuckup, glad you underwent therapy.
You guys give me hope 🥲
My father was and is like that. He's considered a great man compared. He went to work,didn'tt run the streets, didn't drink, do drugs, played with us but he was unavailable for anything important and always only had enough money to survive. I sighed writing this because my feelings about him are mixed. He didn't prepare me for anything man related. He did provide. ❤
I feel this in my bones.
Same. I see my father as weak. He didn’t do obviously neglectful things. But he neglected being an actual father.
Providing for children is the bare minimum!
@@Luvesehkyup it’s like clapping because a fish can swim
You just said everything I feel
But recently I don’t mind too much, he’s just working all day in a stressful and dangerous environment so that I don’t struggle too much when he’s not here anymore
When a Sim in the games Sims has a child with zero skills, talents or job built they become more stressed, more depressed and lose time to focus on their skill building making it hard to get out of the hole. Go play the game and find out how hard it is to have a baby and no job, nothing. Having a child is WORK and you need to be fully equipped to actually take care of one. If you have nothing to provide them; skills, money and aren't mentally well, why the fudge you having a kid? Being a woman who can get knocked up doesn't mean you are entitled to having a kid. Grow up first and get YOURSELF in order before even thinking about having a kid.
Love you so hard for this opinion😭😭
YES.
Most pregnancies including mine were not planned. So that sentiment while accurate, is usually useless. We cannot bring ourselves to kill our own child, and y'all think it's not a human or whatever all you want, but we couldn't do that so we took responsibility. It's a lot. I'm not perfect at all. I was not healed before I became a mom. I know my problems and imperfections (namely anxiety) seep into my motherhood. However, I work on myself constantly and took responsibility for my actions (having sex). I hold myself accountable for my actions and the consequences of those actions. And that's what we need to encourage. Most people choosing to get pregnant aren't doing that if they are broke or still in school or way too young.
@@Alixir1228 that’s how people have kids they resent and end up abusing.
@@Alixir1228You are bringing a child to that. To this. I would never do that to them, they are like, the only innocents here. Hope you are doing fine, though.
Narcissist mothers and enabler fathers. It’s a tale as old as time…
Don't forget the vise versa
What’s happening to Wren is straight up sexual abuse. Like this shit is horrifying. No way around it. She may not be being physically hurt but she’s being thoroughly victimized.
Wren will never be able to have happiness while looking at her own baby pictures/videos when she’s grown. All she’ll know is how her mother was constantly thinking about how to use her body to make money while filming her. She will know that hundreds of thousands of people have them saved on their phones and what they are doing with them. Her mother is stealing some of the most basic joy and innocence from her.
That’s some of the most deeply shattering abuse someone can endure. Without any support from her father? This abuse is something that no one grown now can even be aware of the full extent of, and we are watching it happen live with nothing being done about it. I’m truly sickened and furious for Wren and other kids growing up like this. These kids will remember how they were exploited and unprotected. They will grow up angry and they will be right.
Ugh my Dad was an NPC dad. He was basically dissociated the entire time and as a result I would always try to get him to engage with me. If he gave me a tiny bit of praise I finally felt seen. I realized recently that I pick men who are avoidant because they breadcrumb me, just like my Dad and that’s what I’m used to and think love is. Trying to change that.
I relate to this soo much, I even stopped dating because everyone I seemed to attract was avoidant
Same here, I literally forced myself to ignore the avoidant man that I used to “love” and keep talking with the one that actually loved me right and eventually i fell in love, he’s my bf now and the avoidant guy is lonely af just like my dad,
Im so proud of me and my mom for that end of toxic cycle
I find mothers who bully their kids. Like why is a grown woman bullying a minor and why is a toxic mum bullying their kid who is half their age. I just find it weird and on top of that to put in blood sweat and tears to give life only to fuck it up. Its giving 🌟emotionally immaturity and narcissm 🌟
Also, women who regret becoming mothers is still a taboo subject, but they exist and it's not a small number.
This influencer mom stuff is just disgusting. Exposing and exploiting her child to people who are using it for disgusting reasons that's so awful. My heart breaks for that girl. Also this is why we need laws against minors having social media presences.
Sometimes NPC dads ARE violent 😳
yep.... 💔
Yeah, they're violent closed doors. They're basically two-faced.
That's not an NPC dad then, that's an abusive dad?
@@saycandace1341And the pick me mothers aren't the same?
But their victim card is so strong, that is so difficult to go up against them.
People will think that their partners they were with, made them behave that way and get a free pass.
Not that these women weren't fit to be parents themselves.😒
Gypsy Rose’s father actually actually did try to be a part of her life.
This has been confirmed by Claudine’s actual parents, a.k.a. gypsy roses grandparents.
Of course, Claudine got pregnant intentionally even though there wasn’t a relationship with gypsies’s dad. He did try to be there, but she kept disappearing. She kept moving. And he actually tried his hardest. He had no idea where they were living for the longest time. So I would say that’s the exception to the rule.
Because once he found out about it, obviously, he tried to step in. And he has been her supporter for quite some time. They don’t have a strain. They are trying to repair it because she was stolen from him. It’s very sad because he did really care about her.
my mom is a pick me too, she makes sure to put me down and not my brother even though hes an unemployed alcoholic
OMG... I come from a long line of NPC fathers... I swear that I won't let another into my genetic line. Your videos made me wake up. I'm not even dating right now, but I'm never chasing a man again. You're teaching me so much. Thank you for your service 😊
Same here. So happy to read we've changed so much from Elles teachings. She is currently my fave youtuber bc I had a massive rehaul of so many beliefs and areas of my life. Right now I'm researching "roster dating" and "celebate roster dating" for when I'm ready. Very interesting, I recommend !
I’m Glad My Mom Died should be part of the required reading for spoiled girlies…. Seriously such a powerful memoir !
They can also be jealous when you actually do what the mothers want and become successful. They keep telling you how they couldn't do what you did because of this, that, etc. How lucky you are, etc. ❤
poor little girl unfortunately she wont know until she gets away from her mom and is an adult and by then all this trauma and exploitation wouldve already happened. i think people need to just mass report these pages because clearly major corporations do not care about child exploitation.
I am 21 and am going into biology. I want to be a biologist and live a peaceful, stable life. People always tell me I need a man to be happy, and that I cannot be happy without a man in my life. However, I am not desperate. If the right person comes along, then that is great! However, I am not going to try to go searching. Thank you so much for your videos, they help me see my worth :)
I'm 27 yrs grad biology student. My career is the one thing that I have that I actually wanted. My siblings self-sabotaged while I became an overachiever, result of us having pick me narc mother. Biology gives me purpose and fulfillment as I get to contribute to the world in my own terms. Rooting for you☺
You got this bestie !! 🤗
In the book "Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" they talk about the damage of the "passive" parent.. how it can take a long time to realise how much they harmed you because they're 'nice', they're sometimes even 'fun' or exude warmth.. but they passively let things happen. In the worst cases they let the other parent abuse the children and just turn a blind eye. They can be either gender but NPC dads certainly fit that role.
This. I refuse to watch family content involving children. Zoomning in on children. Worst one had a kid bathing,and the mother kept on filling with hundred thousands comments about pedophiles.
That is such a thing about some mothers. They resent their children so much because they didn't get what they wanted in life. So they become terrible mothers. Some of them become like what happened to Jeanette McCurdy or some of them just abandon their kids.
As someone who intuitively chooses to be child free and also grew up with a narcissistic mother, this video was very, very appreciated.
Watching this a minute after you uploaded it felt like I was sitting infront of the class XD
Same feeling!
SATTTT
My mother was a crazy b**** she was a pick-me she created me a girl who was a pick me. She was open about never wanting kids, directly to my face. Very open about how we were all mistakes and she regrets it. Not all mother's deserve to be mothers. I was born into a competition with a woman that I don't even like.
Gypsy Rose Blanchard's story is heartbreaking. The entire system failed that poor girl.
Luckily, she's out of prison now.
I watch this as I physically feel like I'm dying, unable to get out of bed for the last few days, and crying in my filthy apartment ALL ALONE. The saddest part about this is having to call my OVERWORKED best friend to come help me while having a capable MOTHER with so much time on her hands. WHY? I just cannot ask my mom for help because anytime she comes over, THERE WILL BE CRITICISM. Criticism that I cannot handle right now.
Do not contact your mother then. You will attract your tribe and y'all will take care of each other 💕
Be at peace with your current state. Its ok to be messy for now
NPC Dads: " I just work here".
This is probably one of my favourites video. What parents don’t realise is that children grow up and learn to see the true. The same way couples divorce, kids divorce their parents too!
You know you've really failed as a mom when your own kid writes a book titled "I'm Glad My Mom Died"
i feel like pick me in this case literally comes hand in hand with psychopathic behaviour, especially that mom of the "so called sick" child. She needed a psychiatrist, not a child. And don't even get me started about the fathers ugh
I know what it’s like to have a terrible father. It’s devastating and life altering, but I think it Has to feel even worse it’s your mother it’s like some kind of special form of evil. My mother was definitely a Pick me for all of the abusive men in her life that would abuse me too, so yes, I am resentful, but I know at the end of the day she would do anything for me.
thisss🤎
There is never a right time to exploit or expose your child. However, with A.I. on the rise? The consequences of child exploitation will be worse than ever before. It's sad.
this vid hit close to home. i had a dad who blamed everything on my immigrant, uneducated mom, who was also not the perfect mom, but he let her get her way even if her ideas were horrible in hindsight. i didn't realize until much later that if he didn't agree with a lot of her ideas, they wouldn't have ever came to fruition. he didn't just have the power to veto her, he literally had to carry out her silly ideas because she couldn't execute them and these silly ideas that threw our family into financial and emotional turmoil. when stuff like this is brought up, he would just point at my mom and refuse to take any accountability. like dude, nobody was holding a gun to his head. my mom is super insecure about her lack of education and has no social circle so she clings to my dad for dear life and she will literally take his side even if he said the sky was pink. i experienced this too many times. now that i am watching this vid, i'm starting to realize what really happened to my family and well, i'm not surprised at all. i hate the audacity of these men to claim innocence and get away with all the things they've gotten away with.
That was something I've always argued about in my family. My parents were emotionally absent and know nothing about me, but my father was the most absent of them.
This is so horrible for that poor child. She will always be known for this. The poor girl. It is disgusting because the mom knows and doesn't care
As a mom with a pick me mother, I approve this message.
I knew there was always something wrong with women who post so many pictures of their daughters. And it always make me think that they vicariously live through their children in the sense of the child receiving compliments so they in return are getting those compliments. I don't need to know about your daughters first period or seeing pictures that should be private like bath pics etc.
At what point does Wren's mom's behavior become criminally negligent in the eyes of the law because it's getting ridiculous.. She may not be producing what is technically considered CP but she is actively and knowingly participating in the exploitation of a child in a sexual manner to appease and profit from child predators. Hell why can't she be charged for endangerment due to providing an unsafe environment due to curating an audience of child predators who know her child and where her child lives? It's so apparent what that mom is doing.
I would not be surprised if come to find out the tiktok thing evolved into her doing back door deals with pedophiles where they pay her for content made specifically for them that turns into actual CP. That poor little girl.
I just finished Jennette’s book yesterday. Perfect timing bestie
okay but she can WRITE 💅🏽
@@therealmanifestelle absolutely, very poignant and witty!
We really need to stop over praising mothers and demanding everything from mothers and start expecting more from fathers and praising good father who sometimes had to even save us from our mothers.
my intuition told me you uploaded 🧚🏻♂️
we are connected. one consciousness in billions of hueman beings 🫶🏼
🤎🤎
Wow…I literally just finished watching. Elle, you made me realize that I DONT have the responsibility to uphold my father just because he was the “lesser evil” compared to my mother. He is just as bad as her. Thank you this video really opened my eyes 🙏
Oh my god.
I realate to this so much. I have a narcissistic mother who emotionally, and verbally (you know what) me.
But the worst one was the physical one. I still have reactions when someone gets close to me and I automatically protect my head with my hands (just like in my childhood I had to).
She had sudden mood swings and extreme anger issues and as a child I was confused. Didn't figure out if I could feel safe with her or not.
She enjoyed degrading me verbally, .h0c!ng me etc.
But the scariest part was when she got so angry she told me explicit ways in which she would mu(you know what) me.
I genuinely felt horrified.
She also izolated me from my friends and other family members and force fed me to be at a higher weight so she can bodyshame me for it.
She alaways compared my body (a literal child) to hers and telling me how men only want her and not me.
I developed depression at 9 years old and had (you know what) thoughts that I cannot describe here.
I felt trapped in her house and izolated from everyone and everything.
I thought every child had to feel this way.
But then she kicked me out of the house on my birthday, at 13 after an extreme anger episode.
I went to my dad.
He definitely wasn't persfect but he was still less dangerous than my mom so I stood there.
When I finally wasn't with her anymore, I could finally see the outside world. And then I finally started realizing and processing what I have been through and how traumatized I actually was.
The pick me mom trauma is SO real. I also feel like a lot of internalized misogyny that I had was because of a disfunctional mother figure, that always put me in a competition with her.
I am still trying to deconstruct my traumas
Exposing myself here...ny coworker has a daughter who is incredible and pursuing her dreams. I knew if that was my daughter, or just my child in general, I'd be jealous. I look at everything they have going for them and be upset that I never had that...the support, the financially secure parents, and being raised in a healthy home. I'm self-aware enough, that no child would know how I felt, but...I'm just not going to have a child at all for that reason. I would lived in quiet misery, supporting all her dreams when I never got the chance to chase mine. Now in my 30's and able to rely on myself, by not having children, I'm actually pursuing those dreams AND breaking the generational curse. My mother was a pickme mom. I love her and realize she'll never change, but I don't have to choose that for myself.
Don’t be sad, get that bagggg
@@chillichancould you spare some positivity missy
Regardless of your reasoning I will always support someone who decides not to be a parent. I’m choosing to be child-free for many many reasons, it’s just as valid and necessary as someone who does choose to be a parent.
@@chillichan Jealousy is a natural human emotion. Most people have experienced jealousy at least once in the life. It’s when it becomes comes downright consuming and a consistent emotion when it becomes a problem.
Thank you for sharing your feelings. Please ignore the trolls. Emotionally immature people see vulnerability as a weakness because it makes them feel shame.
Jennette Mccurdy is so strong. Cause she hasn't lived her own life since she was 6. All the best to her ❤ hope she lives henceforth just for herself
Huh, I am a new sus and this is one of the most important topics in my life. "Good family": sociopath father, narcissistic mother. Grown up on my own from 15 yo after their divorce, and found out between 35-45 that I was literally born with 2 disabilities which was not diagnosed. I was the golden child until their divorce, after that, the scapegoat. Yikes. Great journey to heal from this packages. Thanks for all Girlie. Blessings to y'all.
NPC dads, that is brilliant. 😊 I love this channel ⭐️
Long rant warning on fathers and mother's.
What's really funny is when men use 'fatherless' as an insult, specifically to women. But it's like sir, your daddy left too. I don't know why you're laughing. 😂
It's just crazy that we are literally blaming and making fun of people whose father got up themselves and left them when they were only children. But we got these manosphere type dudes talking about how men don't have access to their kids, men can't see their kids, the mom is keeping them from their kids. But when they are with their kids they don't interact with them in any way, they don't help with the birthday parties, they don't help with the growing up, and they don't give them any important talks. They just sit on their ass and do absolutely nothing and then expect to get a medal just because they pumped and dumped in their mother, and that was the only thing they did for the child.
And with mother's society, putting them on a pedestal really just messed up motherhood in general. Because now, instead of motherhood being just a choice that some women wanted to do for themselves because it's something they actually wanted it to do. Now, it is seen as this social currency. Society will praise you and give you all these life bonuses because you decide to have a child and at the same time Society also pressures women and makes women feel like that they have to be mothers because it is their role as a woman, yuck.
When in reality, being a mother should be like you deciding whether you should go to college or not. Being a mother or being a parent in general should just be seen as a choice or just be seen as a different life path, not something that should be put on this pedestal and praised. Because at the end of the day, having a child benefitssocietyy more than benefiting the actual parent. That's why the term every child should have a parent, but not every parent should have a child exist. Als, why you see so many parents on the internet talking about how they regret having their children. Instead of having a child because it is something you genuinely wanted to do with your lif, it is something that genuinely gives you purpose in your life. You just had a child because of your religion or where you live or society's expectations. And these people who had no business having a child are now finding a way to get use out of the child, which is Fame and money instead of seeing that the child itself is supposed to be the thing that brings them happiness. The child themselves is the reward, not the things you can use your child to get.
In conclusion the only people that are suitable to be good parents are the people who are financially able to care for those children. But also, who wants to have those children, who gets joy in raising a human being that gets purpose out of the child themselves.
I think they have to put mothers on a pedestal because their unpaid labour and caregiving has been single-handedly propping up humanity and capitalism this whole time. So fathers aren’t pressed to do anything at all, because as soon as a woman gives birth, she must assume her new identity as super mum 🙈. I love that we’re all starting to wake up and I really hope I get to see positive changes happen from this, in my lifetime. We need to tear up this tired script and start fresh.
As a mom, I can tell you wholeheartedly you are so wrong about moms. Society HATES mothers. We are seen as unattractive, contributing to overpopulation, etc. hell, I'm a single mom. Society hates me. This chick even went on a condescending rant in the beginning toward ALL mothers, not just toxic ones. People and society now resent mothers.
I was so blessed by having an amazing mom and dad. Everyone has their flaws, but they have always shown me so much love and support. It's so awful to hear of these people who had crappy parents as kids. Much love to all of you and I pray everyone heals from this.
Just found out I’m expecting, if I have a girl I’m loving her so hard ❤ she’s not “competition”, and thinking so is so weird and gross. I’m thankful I chose well with my man too, we don’t have a preference either way. Boy or girl, they are going to be loved soooooooo much & we will do anything for them. I already have my dreams and goals and I’m reaching them, I can’t wait to get to know this person and encourage them to go after their interests. It’s like parents forget that they were once kids and had their own hopes and dreams & not extensions of their parents. People need to realize kids are humans with their own desires & will be independent. Set them up for success.
I just realized how blessed I am to have a good one & that all of my girlfriends have great husbands too. I really wish people would heal themselves before bringing someone new into the world.
Funny that's how my parents dynamic is. Traditional husband and wife. Present but emotionally distant father/husband, with big ego, uninvolved in nurturing. This is stressful to everyone in my family, especially my mom, and she projects that issue to me and my sister.
If it’s not fame and money, it’s emotional labor instead.
Omg this is literally the entire premise of Dance Moms
I already know this is gonna speak to my soul
🥹
The title described my mom and dad til I went far far away from them✨ So glad I moved out and went no contact
“Women with no children will never understand”
Urhmm excuse me but my cat is proud to have me as its mother 😊
Tbf, DeeDee pushed Rob as far away as she could from Gypsy and manipulated Gypsy into believing that her dad hated her. Given the region they're from, men are not expected to be super involved and Rob was being told repeatedly that Gypsy hated him and didn't want to see him. He probably honestly thought he was doing good by giving Gypsy "space" while still maintaining a little bit of contact while Gypsy is being told her dad is a huge ab*sv3 POS. He's also repeatedly stated his regrets for not seeing through DeeDee's lies and manipulations. For us on the outside AFTER the fact, its easy for us to say "ugh, DUH, she was being manipulative!". But this woman was able to ✨ successfully ✨ manipulate MULTIPLE professional doctors, news medias, national organizations for YEARS. Definitely not farfetched to believe she could manipulate a man who thought he loved her at one point and who definitely loved his daughter.
Him and Gypsy have also been able to rekindle their relationship since she was arrested and everything came to light.
That's his story dear one. Ofc it's very easy to get away from responsability and say ' I was told my daughter hated me so i decided not to check on her'.
For sure he knew the kid was in a wheelchair and living of donations but never once care if his child needed something or was getting the care she needed. He basically didn't give a f*ck.
In these cases fathers shoud be as responsible as the criminal mothers. Negligence. He could even obtained custody of gipsy but a damn man doesnt want the responsibility of raising a healthy child imagine a sick child. They stop their lives for nobody.
Look my mother is a pickme and my father is an NPC. They worked the same hours, had the same job and mother had 100 % of domestic chores and child rearing on her. So no, my father wasn't the only and main breadwinner.
There was only one thing. My mother didn't have a driving license but her money paid the car that was supposed to be for the family. As a child i has severe asthma, i has to be taken to the hospital that was just 15 minutes away by car. My father wouldn't leave the bed to drive us to the hospital with my mother holding a toddler by one hand (my sister) and a baby getting purple unable to breathe. He was so useless he couldn't even take care of my older sister. There were times my mother had to ask a neighbor to look after my sister and take a taxi to the hospital. My father would be in bed, sleeping.
Did I tell you both owned a shop and worked same hours? But my mother would always wake up earlier to dress the children and feed them and send to the day care????
My mother was a verbal and physical abuser. Many times i told my father hes as responsible as her if not even worse.
We gotta stop making excuses for these pickme mothers and for these NPC fathers. They are same trash
There's a difference between an NPC father who LIVES in the House and one who does not. No one is handing out any Dad of the Year awards to any of these men, but nuance for each case is required.
+ he was a minor (17 y.o.) when Gypsy was conceived
As a mother myself I feel I'm qualified to say moms who make their children sacrifice for the family are not mothers they are the children. Some fathers do this too it's abuse and neglect. Parents are supposed to make the sacrifices not the children because it was your choice to become a parent The children did not ask to be born so when they are we need to put their needs first.
This reminds me so much of that woman who just threw her kids on the freeway "because of" the solar eclipse.
The husband/father of the kids looked away for years as the mother became more and more dangerous and exploitative towards their daughters
My mom has no emotional sympathy for anyone especially if she perceives it as attention that should be focused on her. I cried telling her about the reason I'm afraid of dating was being groped and word for word her response I will never forget was "It's not like he r*ped you."
We also need to talk about the “Mom’s” who purposefully don’t want a father in their life bc that’s a thing too, they keep their kid away from a good dad for whatever motives like control etc. It’s not the majority, but it’s not talked about enough, and I experienced it firsthand and both know and heard others who have
It’s awful that Gypsy’s father was groomed. But to disappear ten years later… there’s no excuse for that. Thanks for discussing this, as I’ve been frustrated by the lack of criticism he’s gotten from the media and other creators.
Mom is like the frenemy
Dad IS RED FLAGS I WATCH OUT AGAINST MEN* even if he "Provides" MR KRABS CHEAP from basics to needed at home,school etc ...
So that’s what my Father is😒an NPC😤😤😤UGh you’ve put into words so eloquently what I’ve felt my entire life!! Thank you!🥹🩷✨and yes🗣️THE BAR FOR FATHERS IS SO LOW & BASIC!
And then they wonder why people in this world are suicidal..
It sounds like Wren could very well be the next Jon Benet'.
Wow your words with Gypsy Rose’s image sent a cold cold chill down my spine
Sometimes we think we're whole, then things change, I'll say, just always put the kids first even when you still have room to grow. You can never go wrong if you are always evaluating your motives and setting them up for success. ❤
Your sweater is exquisite! I knit too and only know how to make scarves lol. Kudos to you! 🎉 And thanks for the advice. ❤
thank you😭😭
This is why we should always be cautious of the kind of people we put on a pedestal. I’ve always thought for quite some time now that when we put people on an essentially “god-like” pedestal, it will and oftentimes does poison people’s ability to see beyond their perceivably “good” personality. Hence why it’s still unfortunately common for people to immediately fire back with things like “That’s your mom”, “You only get one mom”, “You wouldn’t be anywhere without her”. Now if the child was genuinely bad and the parent was decent, those sayings would be relevant. Except in situations like this, it’s not the same and I could only imagine how different the world would be if things like respect going both ways (for the child & parent/guardian) were more common in all societies around the world. I can only imagine a lot more “parents” being held accountable and not being able to get away so easily with their abuse given that it’s so easy for society to see the harshness parents putting on their children as “tough love” or “discipline”. There’s endless amounts of girls who grew up into women who are still hurting from being outright used and abused by the people who were supposed to give them the least of that. As hard as it may be to break these “norms”, it has to be done because nobody should have to endure such hardship from people who should know better.
Well idolatry is the first commandment for a reason. We’re not supposed to be idolizing people only God
@@Whoisthatns tell that to married people 😂
@@tulip811 I totally agree but yet look at marriage today so it’s obviously not a healthy Godly love. We’re not supposed to love anyone more than God because God is our creator but I get that there’s people who don’t agree with that. I’m not here to debate it’s a waste of time and energy
It’s honestly a universal spiritual principle anyways. Like it’s in aviator the last airbender too 🤷🏾♀️
@@Whoisthatns I do love a self-righteous religious person on full display. Makes me remember why religion is so very toxic. Thanks.
@@user-dc4cm8nz1f i honestly don’t care what you think. Your opinions don’t affect my soul. And how you manage your soul is your business. I didn’t create you so I honestly don’t care. I’m not God😊
Speaking the truth doesn’t make me self righteous, but hit dogs do holler 😩😭
Jeannette is my same age and I was raised in a very large family with extended family even living in the house. I slept on my parents bedroom floor until third grade maybe. The first chapter of her book felt so similar to my childhood. Since I had a lot of siblings though I was mostly neglected unlike Jeannette. My mom is still alive, but we are no longer in contact. I really appreciated the timing of this book coming out and made me feel less guilty for going no contact. Thankfully I secured my own bag so I don’t need family of origin to thrive.
This is facts. Thanks, mom. I don’t even have the energy to go into more detail.
I agree with everything in this video, except about Gypsy's father somehow being complicit in the child abuse that Deedee did to Gypsy.
He had no reason to believe that the medication, procedures and hospital stays that Gypsy went through was somehow fake and not for legit medical issues. He tried to stay in Gypsy's life and he always wanted a relationship with her. But deedee moved Gypsy around under fake identities, and she hurdled fake domestic violence accusations against him if he tried to make contact.
In my eyes no one suspected Deedee was harming Gypsy. It seemed like most people believed she was a great mom who took care of her disabled daughter.
So in my opinion Gypsy's father is also a victim of Deedee, and putting blame on him for not questioning the medical history of Gypsy, that NO ONE questioned, I think it's unfair.
And him not hiring a private detective each time Deedee moved Gypsy, not going through court cases of false domestic violence accusations, and somehow being able to keep it up for almost 20 years is in my opinion unrealistic.
Him and his wife has been Gypsy's biggest support system from the day he found out where she was and what the truth about her condition was. She lives with him and his wife now, them helping her get her life back.
And he supported her throughout her 8 yrs in prison.
I think gypsy's father is a victim of false DV accusations, parental alienation, child kidnappning ect and I think he did his best under the circumstances he had. Now he has clearly proven he wants to be her father fulltime and he always wanted that.
Oh its so heartbreaking. I know the exact flip side of this where thw dad is pushed away by the mother and has no access to his daughter who is pretty much being emotionally abused by the mother. They went to court and it did nothing :(
Parents putting themselves over their kids are just horrible.
Very insightful episode as always❤men should absolutely be included in a kids life and they HAVE to be responsible. Mothers do too.
Would love to hear more about narcissistic mothers, maybe not necessarily pickmes, but disloyal, dishonest mothers ❤as always blessings and looove your content
Singing my song. My mom is the biggest Pickmeisha. From her parents to my NPC now dead father. There were times we’d be watching something on TV and some good looking single male celebrity would be on and she’d be like, “You should marry him!” And I’m like, “HUUUUHHH!??!??” What world are you living in lady!??? Because we’re cosmically going to meet now so then he can provide you your best life through me. After that I started to see her differently and she’s pretty much seeing me as her. Well I chose different and I’m not married with no kids and I’m now seeing she only favor my other 2 sister who are married with children. We’re not on speaking terms only when we need to. She’s the eldest child and daughter as am I. I refuse to be her. I’m so desperately trying to join the Air Force to live my best life traveling and serving my country.
My dad took great care of me while married to my mom - so much so that when he passed I told mom that I felt that living with her was like living with a stranger… I pray that the great, active dads live long enough for their daughters to spread their wings and leave the nest. 🙏🏾
The first clip of people thinking their mom actually made me so jealous
I don't have a healthy or loving mother so I can't even begin to imagine being used by a "mother" for clout or money
Listening to this reminds me of the pageant moms who exploit their daughters.
only read the title so far and yeah true fr
frfr💅🏽