They Want You (But Not A Relationship)

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 89

  • @android1012
    @android1012 5 лет назад +22

    Craig and Margaret are the best relationship/mental-health coaches on RUclips, period! This channel has helped me so much and countless others. Thank you, Craig & Margaret. :)
    He sounds anxious and narcissistic. She sounds pretty securely attached, for the most part, and wanted to take things a little slower. After that, it was "game on" for him and he just kept her on the line after that. I'm sorry that the writer of this email is having such a hard time with this. The on-again-off-again nature of the relationship was dizzying to listen to. She deserves better than this immature, self-centered guy.
    There are a lot of bad coaches out there giving a lot of bad advice. Don't be fooled by the "30-day No Contact" scams out there. It's completely asinine to think that 30 days magically cures every problem in the relationship and you can just waltz back in, contact your ex on day 31, and get them back. As Craig says, "every relationship is different, and every breakup is different". Shoe stores don't sell only one size. Any coach worth their salt DOESN'T preach 30 day no contact.
    And now, there are many uneducated coaches, with no background in psychology, directly ripping Craig's material, down to the titles. Coach Lee, for example. Don't let the narcissistic blue eyes or the deadpan-robotic delivery style mesmerize and fool you...this guy has no idea what he's doing.
    I can have a damn NASA Space Shuttle parked in back of my house, doesn't mean I know how to pilot the f***ing thing. Similarly, this Coach Lee has no idea how to use and apply the very psychological information he's lifting and tossing around. His background, supposedly, was in "analytics before google was doing it", and a crap-screenplay writer whose one story "briefly outsold Twilight" (haha maybe for one-one-millionth of a second).

  • @samhines5084
    @samhines5084 5 лет назад +66

    Second date with ex tomorrow night and she sent me this before she went to bed ‘I'm goin sleep. I'll see you tomoz. Goodnight. ❤xx’

  • @Lilahtater0210
    @Lilahtater0210 5 лет назад +66

    This reminds me of one of my ex girlfriends. I was in this woman’s same position. It’s definitely not worth it because you lose yourself for someone who won’t commit. Know your worth and don’t settle for less!

  • @juliemanso4589
    @juliemanso4589 5 лет назад +32

    Amazing video ! You are so ON POINT! I went out with someone EXACTLY like this man and it was the worst experience of my life! I’ve known him for 17 years and we were friends before anything and let me tell you the emotional roller coaster they put you through is the worst feeling in the entire world! The best thing to do is go NO CONTACT completely and RUN! The saddest part about my story is that we had a great friendship before we got intimate and now that is severed too! We had a very nasty and toxic relationship and the break up was even worse ! We’ve been in NC for almost 5 months now and now is when I’m starting to heal with lots of books, therapy and coaching! Take it from me, it’s NOT WORTH IT! RUN! Don’t even STRETCH ! Listen to Craig and don’t waste your time going back with SATAN ! That’s what I call my ex and yes those are narcissist traits! What you have with him is a soul tie and has nothing to do with LOVE! Soul ties are even worse to break! So go no contact and RUN! My ex left me 6 times in a year and 6 times I went back and trust me every time I went back it got worse and worse until it blew up REALLY BAD! Save yourself the heartache ! It is NOT worth it!

  • @MosesEmmet
    @MosesEmmet 5 лет назад +50

    People make you feel how they feel... I’m not a fan of someone projecting their feelings onto me, so I will call it out when it happens.

  • @mousiedung
    @mousiedung 4 года назад +12

    I'm a guy and this did happen to me though, she led me on for 3 months and out of the blue she said she felt things were going too fast and that she wanted to keep things casual even though I never even mentioned wanting to get serious. Fortunately I cut her off at that point.

  • @Dad_Brad
    @Dad_Brad 5 лет назад +26

    As a man, I was told by one of my ex’s on the first date that she loved me. That was a crazy train. The next girl used me for sex for 1 month and then went back to her ex. I didn’t know women could be so cruel and brutal. Men can have their hearts broken too- so be careful. And I’m not young and naive either- both of these relationships happened when I was in my mid/late 30s with women in the same age range.

    • @Naked_AlienDanceParty
      @Naked_AlienDanceParty 3 года назад +1

      Don't say men or women say humans. Lol this shit pisses me off

    • @tlsglenn9728
      @tlsglenn9728 2 года назад +2

      @@Naked_AlienDanceParty people are free to express themselves as they please. You can't force them to keep your feelings in mind.

    • @kursengamer4699
      @kursengamer4699 9 месяцев назад +1

      So sorry that happened to you. I have learned to Be sure to ask them what they are looking for. It’s not fool proof but it helps.

  • @payalpatel3163
    @payalpatel3163 4 года назад +71

    He’s a narcissist! He chased her until she fell in love then he wants friends with benefits?! Wtf. Run 🏃‍♀️

    • @donna1420
      @donna1420 4 года назад +16

      Completely agree.it is identical to my story

    • @fantasyfamous6422
      @fantasyfamous6422 4 года назад +8

      @@donna1420 same as my story

    • @karlashmeedavlasta6365
      @karlashmeedavlasta6365 4 года назад +8

      Narc or dismissive avoidant. Running would have saved me a lot of heartbreak, pain, healthproblems and money.

    • @basicinfo2022
      @basicinfo2022 5 месяцев назад

      Call his bluff by going no contact when they offer FWB. They could be testing your standards and boundaries. Usually they come back and want to commit if you walk away and stand by your standards. Tell him "I'm someone's future wife" and ignore breadcrumbs after.

  • @alicerosa6766
    @alicerosa6766 4 года назад +7

    Mr Craig, you have been for me my tear cloth and I appreciated so much everything you have done for all of us in this difficult situations which without your counseling and guidance we were lost by now. God bless you always and Margaret as well for all your support, you guys really made the difference 🙏🙏🙏.

  • @global2765
    @global2765 5 лет назад +10

    She is just finding excuses to get in touch. No contact is when you don't get in touch for no reason and move on and let them get in touch with you. Just move on and leave all of this behind.

  • @a.brown_2518
    @a.brown_2518 5 лет назад +7

    My ex from 3 years ago just reached out... totally unexpected...over LinkedIn, of all things. I cannot believe it. I remember being totally heartbroken over him.
    He has asked me to meet for lunch as he has moved back to my country after a long period abroad. I acted casual, said it was good to hear from him. Emphasised I am busy with uni work, job applications and my thesis but said if I end up in his city for a job interview we could grab lunch (applying for graduate jobs at the moment).
    He said he was looking forward to seeing me and learning all about my life now. Excited but nervous... going to take the next couple of months to prepare mentally and practice Craig's strategies. I'm not going to get swept up in a fantasy or let anxiety take over. Going to see the situation for what it is and not get ahead of myself. I expect to be interviewing from March onwards. Wish me luck....

  • @salamandastronable
    @salamandastronable 4 года назад +8

    Thank you so much for making this video! "Broke up" with a non-committal guy about a month ago, he was the first guy I liked in several years, so I'm really disappointed. We dated for 6 months, taking things slow, but even though I never pressured him for a commitment he said he wanted to just "be free" and unattached because of x, y, z, and all these excuses why he wanted to keep things casual. I took it in stride b/c I was still getting to know him so I wasn't sure whether I wanted something more. Other than that, everything seemed to be developing normally, no red flags, I felt comfortable with him, etc. His mother neglected him when he was little. He has a fear of intimacy and I think he's only capable of loving women he can't have, who are unattainable, or reject / neglect him as his mother did. He wanted freedom - well, now he 's got it. lol.

  • @cynthiadavison5785
    @cynthiadavison5785 5 лет назад +23

    Cut him loose! He's playing with you.

  • @emilyacoxpsychic
    @emilyacoxpsychic 3 года назад +3

    He fell in love after three weeks… I agree that is not romantic love but it could very well be a twin flame relationship legitimately a sole connection

  • @clara7920
    @clara7920 5 лет назад +10

    This is by far one of your best video. What makes a man behave like this. Why is his anxiety so high. Why do they be have like this

    • @kursengamer4699
      @kursengamer4699 9 месяцев назад

      How old are these people? This is not adult behavior

  • @GwenMotoGirl
    @GwenMotoGirl Год назад +1

    I need a map, push pins, and string to keep up with the ins and outs of this one.

  • @nathanhipple1004
    @nathanhipple1004 5 лет назад +3

    Hi Craig, a friend told me about your videos a year ago & since then my own relationship ended. I notice you have done a video on avoidant / anxious attachment for a while. I knew about the styles thanks to your videos. Our relationship improved as a result as seeing each other 3x per week had been a good middle ground. At some point we she asked for space for two weeks and booked in loads of stuff with friends. Unconsciously my abandonment issues came up as I'm prem baby(incubator 4weeks) this meant a lot of texts from me saying she wasn't commited, I was not a priority etc. We broke up 3 months ago and she said we can't go back as the messages overwhelmed her. We for 3 hours this week then things got flirty over txt but I wanted her to be sure and the opposite came up...she could not go back. I remembered your videos and said I'll miss her & she can contact me if she likes but I'm never looking BACK. Her mother schizophrenia & her father abused family members and she maintains she never was a victim of this. Still very low trust in men. Would you recommend no contact or to move on?

  • @silvermont331
    @silvermont331 5 лет назад +15

    Omg 😮get rid of him and from your head right now, you are a beautiful woman I’m sure! It wast just a lust you both had . This coach is amazing 💃 I’ve learnt so much from his clips. Move on.. you are very young still , you can do better ! Don’t look back that guy is crazy and doesn’t deserve you ! Good luck

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 Год назад +1

    He lost interest for some reason. I once lost interest in a lady because she only wanted money from me so I backed all the way out 100%..

  • @CoachCraigKenneth
    @CoachCraigKenneth  5 лет назад +20

    ANNOUNCEMENT- Are you in an emotional crisis from a recent breakup and don't know where to turn? A few select individuals responding tot his posting can receive free help form a group of relationships experts as part of a video presentation for a proposed reality program dealing with relationships and social behavior. You will be asked to tell your story as it is recorded so the experts can evaluate if the background meets the criteria for the above mentioned presentation. then, if selected, you will be scheduled for as single session with 3 or 4 leading experts on breakups and relationships. The content will be recorded (video and audio) via Skype and used part of a presentation in marketing the program. the content will not be broadcast on conventional television or cable. If interested please respond to SkypeAudition1@Gmail.com NOTE- I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF THIS PROCESS OR WHO IS CHOSEN. I HAVE ZERO IMPACT ON THAT DECISION PROCESS. All questions must be directed to that email.

    • @JasonJarred
      @JasonJarred 5 лет назад +1

      Coach Craig Kenneth hey coach
      Craig - love all your videos and have the workbook. Would it be possible to have a playlist with all your more dating based vids? I’ve started dating and trying to absorb all of that advice of yours!

    • @aubreekurts2818
      @aubreekurts2818 5 лет назад

      Hey Craig one topic I can’t seem to find much of and would love to hear most from you is how do we reveal someone’s intentions? I’ve recently started seeing a guy for the first time since my two year relationship and o find myself going back and forth having trouble finding this guy’s intentions if he takes me seriously or if I’m just here to fill some loneliness in his life. He’s a great guy but has options. Why me?

    • @craigmerrila7767
      @craigmerrila7767 5 лет назад +1

      Very impressive videos. I've watched 50 videos so far.

  • @FindTheCureGBS
    @FindTheCureGBS 4 года назад +8

    What is a relationship? If it's based on attraction... It's inherently not commitment 😂

  • @anhangamirim
    @anhangamirim 2 года назад +4

    Egg-shells & Red Flags, quite an omelet!

  • @Nolife_uae
    @Nolife_uae Год назад +1

    Craig: "ok this is another red flag for me" xD good video tho!

  • @basicinfo2022
    @basicinfo2022 5 месяцев назад +1

    23:15 he wants to have his cake and eat it too. You have to be very strict with men like this from the get-go. They werent disciplined and probably had parents who were in a toxic marriage. They need a woman who walks away and never compromises on her standards.

  • @cmrandall9151
    @cmrandall9151 2 года назад +1

    Where...? Omg... Where was this video when I was in the exact same situation with a guy doing the exact same things? The only difference is that I accepted the fwb situation where as the writer in this video didn't. And yes he did turn out to be a narcissist with a personality disorder. And yes, I did get used. And yes, I very much so got hurt. You even get bonus points for the part about exs. He had an ex in his life he kept me secret from who he talked about all the time. The ex wanted the relationship back. If only I had seen this video

  • @tlc8925
    @tlc8925 3 года назад +1

    Omg! This entire situation is draining😱

  • @helganugget3873
    @helganugget3873 2 года назад +1

    Could you do a video on being in a relationship with borderline personality disorder. As well as being broken up with an going through that with bpd

  • @radharamanathan5116
    @radharamanathan5116 5 лет назад +5

    I love your videos. I’ve learned so much from you and margaret. I would say that I don’t agree with your assessment that men tend to be more logical and natural born problem solvers. I’ve observed men in my personal and professional life who create a lot of drama and turmoil because they are so out of touch with their feelings. Therefore, they are not acting logically or reasonably because they don’t understand the feelings behind the behavior at issue. In my opinion, women can be more adept problem solvers because they are in tune with emotions and feelings at work under the surface. They can get to the heart of the matter to achieve the best solution. Anyway, my two cents. You’re the greatest, coach. Keep up the good work.

  • @HurricaneQueen777
    @HurricaneQueen777 11 месяцев назад

    Coach Craig, would you be interesting in making an in depth videos about friends with benefits and friend zoning?

  • @psalms1163
    @psalms1163 Год назад +1

    Great video

  • @BambiOnIce19
    @BambiOnIce19 3 года назад +1

    That relationship sounds like a total mess, and they both sound awfully immature. Like attracts like, and i think they both sound awfully confused

  • @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115
    @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 5 лет назад +4

    This is good topic because he said to me I just want to be friends , when accidentally we had sex with each other. I didn't want to confuse myself I had been there before..!! He did come back after 2 years he was in another relationship before. He was interested in me . But the Promble was is whenever I bring up my family ..he always change the subject.. that's just made me feel like okay red flags.. when I try to bring up my friends also it was the same thing..!!! I saw some red flags. I told myself he wasn't really into me because he just want to be friends.. I told him I couldn't accept his friendship due to fact of Promble.. I feel like he was trying to make himself too available for me which that turn me off ..... When I saw him at the store on Friday I walk past didn't saying thing..I knew he was trying to put me into a situation that was just uncomfortable for me.. so I told him it's best for not to keep communication or see each other....!!!

  • @nicolebrowne3632
    @nicolebrowne3632 5 лет назад +4

    Great topic - now I'm ready to date again I'm noticing men doing this . I feel I'm always doing something wrong or my ex put a bad spell on me for men not to date me.. why this Craig? I'm interested in someone but I'm worried he will loose interest .

    • @zztop8592
      @zztop8592 Год назад

      You need to look at the guys history. If he has a history of long relationships(5 or more years) than he would be a better bet than someone who hasn't. If he has a lot of girl friends, or is not willing to commit to only dating you after 6 months, he could be using you.

  • @Av-eh4zm
    @Av-eh4zm 5 лет назад +1

    this is nice ^_^ ♡
    Btw coach Craig.. ive been wanting to ask if you can make a video about when youre in "No Contact but suddenly or accidentally ran into your Ex?" ^^

    • @briangilmore6766
      @briangilmore6766 5 лет назад +1

      angela v. No contact doesn’t mean you ignore them, it just means you don’t reach out. If you see them, have a brief convo and move on

  • @joncade5558
    @joncade5558 18 дней назад

    Coach Craig Kenneth can you talk more about mental disorders and taking advantage. I think thats my relationship currently

  • @xavimace9483
    @xavimace9483 4 года назад

    Should I break no contact to I need to tell her I don't want to be friends with her? she messaged me after 17 days saying she misses me and hopes we can be friends? I want her back in a relationship

  • @FreedomWithin
    @FreedomWithin 5 лет назад +1

    Hi Craig my husband and I are seperated and I have been watching all your videos on here .. you amazing and without you I’d be hopeless ..he dumped me 😢 I really want to book a secession with but at the moment I am full time working single mum with lots of bills etc and can’t afford to go on one on one session.. I am really struggling with my emotions. I need help.. we separated because he said I nag a lot about him drinking every night and that I was un grateful etc, he said he loves me still but he doesn’t want to get back together please I need help. I really love him but his so cold and only wants to be FWB. He said he will apply for divorce in an years time and I feel like mayb I can stop my divorce if I follow your advice.. pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help

  • @blessedfavored8032
    @blessedfavored8032 5 лет назад +1

    Question I have a similar situation like the video where my friend and I started off as friends then ended up becoming friends with benefits on and off for over a year with a lot of craziness in the middle of the year we’ve stop talking for short periods of time went back to FWB recently we seem like we were becoming more than friends then I told him I wanted more he told me he didn’t want a relationship and just a couple weeks ago he told he wanted to just be friends without the benefits which hurt me because I thought we were moving forward because we were doing everything like in a relationship so I decided to finally put my foot down and told him I can’t be friends I want to be in a relationship I have enough friends and it would be hard to just be his friend and kept stating he doesn’t want a relationship and would hate to lose my friendship so I went on no contact only talking to him when he would call or text me so last week we had our final conversation where he wanted to see me and I ask why since he knew what I wanted and he didn’t want the same so the conversation ended he stating it’s obvious I don’t want to talk to him and want call me anymore and that was a week ago so I’m kind of sad because we were friends first and I don’t think he will ever call again. My question is coach Craig do you think he will call again he has in the past or should I move on and work on me because we’re in different places right now?

    • @libragirl5533
      @libragirl5533 Год назад +1

      My Girlll... Please Don't allow Him To disrespect you...a Guy Who's not Interested to Be in a Relationship w You Might Try to Take You For advantage.... please Don't Abandon Yourself....You Deserve to be Loved :))

  • @michelechiodi7272
    @michelechiodi7272 3 года назад +1

    A "good chick"? This guy was incredible 🤣

  • @asiansandwiich
    @asiansandwiich 5 лет назад +3

    youre amazing craig

  • @cynthiadavison5785
    @cynthiadavison5785 5 лет назад +4

    STOP ✋ NOW

  • @1mrantman
    @1mrantman 5 лет назад +1

    My ex 6 month pregnant girlfriend broke up with me couple days ago says she don't want to feel obligated to anyone but her kids and she wants to step back and her sister moved in and her Mom stays across the street. She has 2children before me I love them and they love me. Been together 9 months and she's been single for 6 years before me. I love her and want her back. We lived together but I moved out because she says she needed space to think and be single. What do I do?? Please help

  • @azracevher9496
    @azracevher9496 3 года назад +2

    avoidant attachment = abondanment attachment i think

  • @chlidhood-d728
    @chlidhood-d728 4 года назад +1

    Are these pre-schoolers?

  • @vike2004
    @vike2004 5 лет назад

    This is exactly what I’m going through. Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 weeks ago after a 3.5 years relationship. We discussed over a year ago about moving in together and since we were in a long distance relationship. We had a detailed discussion about taking our relationship to the next step and mutually agreed it would best to move in with me because of my career. Everything was agreed and 2 weeks ago she told me she doesn’t want to move in with me and gave me a ultimatum to continue doing this long distance relationship or no relationship. I told her I was disappointed since we mutually agreed and our discussion a year ago was meaningless. I went no contact and she haven’t spoken to me since then. Basically treating me as I did something wrong, 3.5 years seems meaningless to her. How long do I have to wait for her to commit and be ready for a real relationship? Also why have she gave me the silent and disconnected from me.

  • @zztop8592
    @zztop8592 Год назад +1

    He wants to ad her to his harem.

  • @karleedahl413
    @karleedahl413 5 лет назад

    Thankyou Craig x

  • @gates3492
    @gates3492 3 года назад

    Legend guy . Girls love such guys

  • @stacec9242
    @stacec9242 4 года назад +1

    Omg they are BOTH crazy

  • @bejonblow9873
    @bejonblow9873 2 года назад +2

    He’s definitely narcissistic

  • @DitIsIdroj
    @DitIsIdroj 5 лет назад +3

    Dear Craig and Margaret , your videos really helped me a lot over the past few months. However, I don't need you anymore, so I will un-subscribe. It's a good thing. Thank you so much for all you're knowledge.

    • @joncannon8973
      @joncannon8973 5 лет назад +4

      Always continue to improve yourself , I've been listening to Craig and Margaret for about a year , even though I'm doing a lot better I will continue listening to them.

  • @jadeniau6490
    @jadeniau6490 5 лет назад +1

    A little self esteem goes a log way!! A 3 month relationship for gods sake!!!!!

  • @shiningdiva_2
    @shiningdiva_2 5 лет назад

    Second one😂

  • @enriqueponce1053
    @enriqueponce1053 5 лет назад

    First one

    • @shiningdiva_2
      @shiningdiva_2 5 лет назад

      Enrique Ponce Hahah

    • @shiningdiva_2
      @shiningdiva_2 5 лет назад

      Enrique Ponce U forgot to like the video☺️

    • @enriqueponce1053
      @enriqueponce1053 5 лет назад

      @@shiningdiva_2 "every time a girl contacts you assume that she wants to see you" so, when are you free? ;)

    • @shiningdiva_2
      @shiningdiva_2 5 лет назад

      Enrique Ponce Thank you! I am very busy this days i don’t have time.