I'm 22 years old now and never had a father , i live with my mom , many people try to say "women can raise the children alone" or "women don't need a men by her side for take of the childen" , but in real life is harder than many think
That's the way it works with other animals, the female herself is capable of raising the young, the male is simply kept around for gene supply. It is for this reason that when breeding cattle, you'll see a lot of females with very few males. Humans are a unique exception. Because we're born relatively premature, we're extremely helpless in early life, which directly results in us requiring both parents.
That's not true for all species. Most birds and many primates actually require the father to survive. Chimpanzees depend on each other when young are born. The entire family supports the mother. Penguin fathers actually roost the eggs in the polar winter while the mother goes out to feed after laying. She comes back with the first meal for a hatched chick. Humans actually aren't unique. @@reubenmanzo2054
I became a single parent to a 9 year old child when my husband died. Any woman who says she doesn’t need a father for her child is either stupid or selfish.
Very true. A child needs both a capable mother and a capable father in their life. Then again, it’s tough to find a new partner for divorced parents or widows/widowers. That partner needs to be the right fit for you AND the child and needs to be willing to be a parent. That’s tough…
I'm 23 and an only child - a bastard son. Parents were never married, I was basically a mistress's offpsring. My father was never in the picture, he only visited once a week and provided financially. I lived comfortably compared to my peers but psychologically and emotionally it was a shipwreck. My mother was also neglectful, abusive and was focused entirely on making sure she satisfied him through any means to keep giving us money so that he wouldn't leave. I mostly had to raise myself, deal with my own emotions and could not learn basic things that other "normal" families taught their own children (namely social interaction, healthy relationships, conflict resolution or even changing a tire). I swore to myself to never bring this abhorrent upbringing to my own children. If you decide to want to have kids, the readyness starts way before they are conceived, they are lives to nurture and raise, not solutions or means to other ends.
I’m 14 and it’s been 5 months since my dad was killed in a freak work accident. I have noticed that the lack of a father figure in my life has caused a lot of change. The media dads help a lot.
Are there no real, live people you can turn to? An uncle, or the father of one of your friends? I hope that there is. I'm sincerely sorry that this has happened to you. It must be very hard at such a young age. You don't say if your dad and you were close or if you're close with your mom, but I hope you get thru this without too much harm to your mental well-being. I'm not a person who is "preachy" to other people, but I do believe that God hears us when we pray, so I'm going to pray that you find the right answers at this time in your life. Take care.
My condolences on the loss of your father. I know it is difficult. You have learned a hard lesson at a young age, one that will echo for years to come. My own father passed about eight years ago; he was retired, but I still miss him every day. Truth be told, the lessons you are learning now - the endurance of grief - cannot be found in a book, and certainly not on social media. This loss will shape you in ways you cannot now imagine. But, it can strengthen you, in time, if you are willing. And maybe, one day, you can the person your father wanted you to be - and become the person, or parent, that you need now.
This is dire, and 14 is too young to have to deal with anything like this. You may or may not realize, but these next few years are going to be soo important in determining the quality of your life to come. I know im an internet stranger but promise me to protect your mental health at all costs. Never, ever try any drugs or alcohol thinking it will improve your situation, and devote some time to figuring out the best way to move forward, get help if you need to.
@@suedarnell6 my mom and I do not have a good relationship. My dad and I were very close. He was honestly my best friend and now not having a best friend nor a father is very draining especially living in a generation where being fatherless is funny. I don’t have other male figures I can turn to. Thank you for your support❤️🙏🏻
@@HaymesMichaelC thank you for your condolences and I am sorry for your fathers passing. It is a very maturing experience and I can say I have personally learned a lot from it - whether it is independence or to never take something so small yet so large for granted. Thank you❤️
My father worked 3 jobs to provide for our family of 7. He taught me that even with work taking most of his time. He always talked to us. Took us to church. Tried to attend as many sports or school functions as he could. He lived a long life (98) and I was there when he passed. I think of my dad and my children every day to remind me what it means to be a father. I miss you Dad.
I'm 23 years old and I still live with my parents. Watching this video reminds me of how much I respect Dad, and I don't take him for granted. He's 37 years older than me, and he has never smoked or committed a crime in his entire life. Not only that, but he knew when to hold me to account if I did something bad, but not to the point where he could've been abusive.
Same here on all ends. I'm grateful not only for everything my dad has done for me throughout my life, but I'm also grateful for what he taught me. The same goes for my mom. I'm incomprehensibly grateful to both.
As a 35 yr guy that lives with his parent married since the mid 80s I can say that while it would nice to have an apartment in one of this apartment complexes maybe with a balcony like many of them usually have I couldn't afford it but at the same the idea of living and being totally alone never appealed to me anyways so I've kept living with my parents and besides they need me to mow, rake leaves and shovel snow for them because their at an age where they can't do themselves without help, also their the only family I have.
My dad worked eighty hours a week to support our family of six kids, till he died when I was eight and from there I watched my family fall apart piece by piece and it's honestly heartbreaking
My situation exactly. He and my grandmother saved my childhood. Absolutely saved it. I have no clue where I would be without them, if not dead. They have given me everything. We still talk on the phone all the time.
That makes me happy to hear. My son’s father is not in the picture. But my parents are both extremely involved in his life, they are helping raise him. My dad is a really neat guy, who is a Mr fix it and loves the outdoors. I hope my son feels less cheated because at least his grandpa loves him like crazy!
My dad is the first generation that actually really cared about his kids. He had some shortcomings thanks only to physical disability, but he set a great example I think. One to follow, and he has given me good advice with my new daughter. It’s so fun being a dad
@@buysncharge one thing I'll be changing about my parenting that my parents didn't do is moderated technology. I definitely wasted away my childhood on video games, I don't want my kids doing that...I won't be making iPad kids
Let me admit something, once Brett said write a letter, I instantly began to find things to write a letter to my dad. I live in a traditional household, and my dad and I are the ones who normally bump heads. My sister tells me we are so similar we just dont click. Fights and conflicts about my future and what I want to do sort of were the main reasons we got mad at each other. Once I began to watch this video, I began to find many reasons to appreciate my dad in how much he provides, how funny he can be, and, especially, how his corrections have changed my life for the better. I thank God for such a good dad and hope and pray that my future husband will be as amazing and incredible as my dad.
My dad got permanently sober on my 17th birthday, when I was pregnant with my first son, his first grandchild. He really stepped up for my son after his biological father died. I didn’t get the dad I desperately needed growing up… I experienced abuse and stuff I wouldn’t have if he’d been sober for me. We’re very close now and I love my dad for being a wonderful grandfather. And I’m extraordinarily proud of his sobriety. And feel blessed I married a quality man who is a great dad to our 3 boys AND my oldest as his own. 💕
One thing a lot of people dont talk about is that a dad can also teach you what not to do. I learned how a man should act from my dad, but he is human and i was also able to learn things not to do from observing his failures. Every time i see a video like this i am unbelievably grateful to have grown up with both of my parents.
My dad was a deeply flawed man. He was a Vietnam veteran and never really dealt with the guilt he carried for the lives he took, so he drank to self-medicate, and sometimes he would take out his self-hatred on me. But he was also a very funny man who had tons of male friends, who was respected and well-liked, and he taught me everything I know about being a good guy. And in his flaws, he taught me just as much about being a good guy.
I am one of the lucky ones. My dad was my hero. Frankly, he was everyone's hero. I can't even begin to explain it. He wasn't much of a talker, but when we were alone, working on fences, or taking care of the cattle, or just hanging out, I felt like I was in the presence of superman. We laughed. And cried together. It probably wasn't until he died that I realized he was mortal. I miss him like crazy.
I am a male and 20, i didn’t have a father, and then I had a stepfather at 12 who I genuinely bonded with and had that first feeling of what it means to have a father, he treated me like a son, he taught me things that I still hold to this day and help shape my morality through puberty, until he abandoned me and my mum at 17. I honestly consider myself lucky because my mum tried to be everything she could for me, and my successes are all attributed to her amazing skills, but even with her skillset and her love, I still feel unbalanced and may always feel unbalanced because that fatherly feeling isn’t there. The amazing thing about fathers is that any man can be a father, my uncles were my primary figures in what a good man does, and what flaws and challenges a man can face. Is it impossible to be a fatherless child, no of course not, but I realise within myself I have a lot of gaps and a lack of development within me as a person and a man that my mum struggled to help me with
I’m 23 and when I was 4 years old my mom took me away from my dad. My dad moved halfway across the country, my mom married an abuser, and the only role model I ever had was my mom but I always felt I missed that male role model. She married another guy when I was 15 who wasn’t an abuser and I really needed that male role-model at that time. I felt like it was a hole in me. So I tried to look up to this man but he rejected me. He didn’t want anything to do with being a role model in my life. Now I’m 23 and having to learn everything on my own that a father usually does. I’ve been called a mamas boy, criticized for my lack of skills, and struggle to make male friends even though I want to. Now it’s up to me to fill in those gaps, myself.
While it is true that any man can fill the gaps for a fatherless boy, i still feel like i am missing a part of myself because i didn't have my father growing up.
Same here i was 11 when i had a step dad he hit my mom for the first time drunk at 16 so they split it did hurt having the goodbye talk 2 days later i found out he hit her she probably did it because she knew me and my brother would fight any man for her. My real father would hit my mom drunk he became an alcoholic and cheat when i was 3 i seen my uncles scream and hit they girl so i Don't drink Because of this. i carry weapons (7.62-556) to protect my mother and sister Even raised my sister im more like her father so i know i would be a great father some day
My father was a military dad who was stern on the outside and super soft and loving on the inside. I was a bit of a daddy's girl and when he taught me to do things like change my tire or jump the car battery, I always knew this was a protective father thing - making his girl self reliant and strong. And I 100% married a man who was like my father. Blue collar, hard working, an absolute loving softie with his family who can fix things, protect his family, but also respect me (and the fact that I make more than him) and project strength when it's needed. I am forever grateful that my father gave me an example of the kind of man every woman should strive to find and marry. He passed away last year and this made me really miss him.
@@PeterNolan-009because it was bad in your case, everybody should follow your point of view? weird. And that’s not how life works. Life is never about avoiding every inconvenience/struggle/etc., but having tools to face them.
I'll be 37 tomorrow and just lost my dad this past August. He was a great father and I struggle with his loss every day. I'm so sorry to everyone who did not have the opportunity to have a dad.😢 They are so important in our lives.
Sorry for your loss I am the same age as you and mine passed away from a heart attack when I was 16 (undiagnosed heart condition) and yeah that was very rough.
I just lost my father in law last week to an unexpected heart attack :( I didn’t have a relationship with my own dad and my FIL filled that hole in my heart. I worry for my husband (28), do you have any advice for the first couple months of loss?
My parents divorced when I was 2. This impacted me through my entire life. My dad has always tried to be involved in my life, but he also moved across state lines after their divorce so it was never easy to see him. I grew up living my life thinking "I have a dad, I don't have a father".
I wouldn't be surprised he left the state to be harder for your mother to slap him with a restraining order or an OFP. That's exactly why my husband left the state his children are in with their mother..she kept abusing systems created to protect real victims and they make it so easy to get an emergency RO with zero evidence. It's terrifying how easy it is to destroy an innocent man's life. Maybe I'm wrong, chances are you'll never know the full truth either sadly.
I know a woman with 2 little boys who resented her hubby so much she divorced her husband and took the boys 3500 miles away. He wasn't exactly a pin up hubby but she would bring up issues with their WEDDING that she blamed on him 10 years later!. He never had a chance. I told her, you just gotta let that stuff go. How can he grow if you are still needling him about stuff from years ago? She would just say "well it was really thoughtless!" Its not like he cheated on her. She also refused to let him discipline the kids and always gave them i pads when they misbehaved. She told me she thought me putting my boys in time out was mean even though my kids are happy and nice and hers are grumpy and nasty. We didn't stay friends. I felt like she was determined to destroy her marriage despite her kids
This ended up being what happened in my family also. Our grandparents moved around with us and were our neighbors growing up, I pretty much see my gramps as being my father. My mother re-married but me and my brother disliked the step dad, my brother no longer is in contact with him and I think I may do the same. Man, everything happens for a reason.
@diggiplayW8 That’s too bad that happened. Divorce hurts kids all through life even f they were too young to remember it. It still wreaks its havoc through all stages of a child’s development. I hope you can find some healing and well being . I will pray for you.
@diggiplayW8 That’s too bad that happened. Divorce hurts kids all through life even f they were too young to remember it. It still wreaks its havoc through all stages of a child’s development. I hope you can find some healing and well being . I will pray for you.
My father was very abusive to me, physically, verbally, and mentally, after him and my mother get divorced and I ended up taking him to court to try to get me to live full time with my mother. I don’t know what it’s like to have an absent father but I do know I’d rather have an absent father over an abusive one.
It is definitely better to have an absent father than an abusive one and while it does not change how awful abuse is, kids are still damaged from not having a father. And the vast majority of cases are the absent cases that are the mother's choice. They are the ones that know when they get pregnant and they are the ones that get the legal choice.
I grew up with just my mom, and she taught me gardening and fixing a tire. My parents divorced when I was 7, and I definetly feel a loss there. It’s like what Brett said, I never saw my dad be the husband my mom deserved and my brother struggles too, he never saw what man he could be. Now Im 24 and my mom has finally found a man who treats her right, I have been saying for years that I don’t need a dad, but after my new stephfather came around, I see the importance of a male role model!
I’m a 32 years old woman, my parents divorced when I was 6 but my dad was an extremely present father. Today I can recognize that my relationship with him was so important that I, unconsciously, chose my husband based on what I liked and hated about my own dad growing up and I just realized this recently. His character, actions, and mistakes ended up being more detrimental in my selection of a life partner than even my past relationships. I can’t appreciate enough how important my dad was in my life because despite his many mistakes he was always there for me. And this makes me very emotional since he passed away suddenly less than two months ago but the memory of his love will be with me always.
I see so many people say most dads are deadbeats who just don't want to pay child support... they couldn't be more wrong in most cases. No one has a clue how sinister family court/child support is until they are part of the abusive system. My husband regularly gets told he is the exception, no! He is the majority. Dads are not allowed to be dads and now we are seeing all the kids/fatherless adults who are suffering from having that bond intentionally severed.
Agreed. My husband pays child support but the bio-mom lost “temporary” custody (wow just realized 6 yrs ago) and refuses to take the kids to school/sport events/practices or anything that slightly inconveniences her. Family court is a joke
Not true! As the mother that has asked and begged my ex husband to be there for his kids he would constantly cancel or not show up until he stopped. I let him off child support because he couldn’t afford it until he completely left the state with no notice and I filed for support. Yet he blames me…seriously most moms are very reasonable and want their kids to have a good relationship with their dads. Although I also notice a huge change when the same men move on to new relationships and get the new women involved when she doesn’t know the whole story
@@K-sd5so great for you being an upstanding mother... most moms are NOT like that. And I'm speaking as a mom. I've had moms confide all sort of messed up stuff they've done just to mess with their ex and the bond with their child. You may be an anomaly, but that does not mean the majority of mothers are like you.
38 now and my dad wasn't around as a kid. I went through alot of phases of depression and acting out. My mom wasn't to blame at all, she showed me how to respect people and how to think critically. But not having my dad around ruined me doing alot in life.
Being a father has been the number 1 most important and gratifying position I've ever held. Nothing else comes close. I stepped away and turned down several higher paying jobs to stay close to home so if and when something arises, I'm only 10 minutes away. I can land one of those jobs later, once they're out of the house.
Very interesting take and I totally agree. I can already tell you are a good father and one I wish I had. I intend on giving my kids everything in the world.
Same; I was widowed when my wife died when the kids were 11 and 13. Left my high-stress, traveling job to be stable, flexible, and 30min from home in the event of sickness and incidents at school.
i'm a fatherless teenage girl myself, but as a Christian, I'm so thankful to have the almighty God as my Father. living as an only child with just my mom is tough on its own, and we have our moments where it can be hard to get along. although i'm not the perfect daughter, i try to be obedient and cooperate with my mother so that things can work for the both of us. it's not always pretty, but i'm trying to understand her a bit more and trying to see her as less annoying.
It's never easy. One of the reasons humans throughout history have developed religion, myth, and legends is because those stories give us something to guide our actions. It has to be something above us, greater than us, and seemingly impossible to achieve, but it works. Keep thinking of the stories and parables, and look a little deeper than face value, and you'l find the bible full of great wisdom. As I often tell folks, even if the bible is pure fiction, it still shows us that people thousands of years ago were dealing with the same issues and found wisdom that they passed down to us. We just have to be open to it.
Christian here: She’s annoying because she knows the world better than you do and she just loves you. ~ former annoyed teenage girl who misses her mom daily
@@sofiabravo1994 debatable statement. From personal experience, people can be just annoying for no other good reason... Well, being a single mom, was quite enough for my mother to be annoying
My 14 yr old is obsessed with you and Candace Owens. She literally watches every free moment she has, and she always puts your show on as she goes to bed! Thank you so much for all the great work you put in for our young people!
My teen daughter as well. There are a few topics Brett has covered where I'm like - eeeesh, not sure about that topic. But she's quick to remind me "Dad, I'm already aware of topic from conversations in school." She listens to Brett and Amala quite consistently.
I just have to shout out my father here. Even though he came from an abusive family, he never laid hands on me or my brother and no one else was EVER allowed to hurt us or do something that is not good for us. He taught me many important life lessons, that no one else would've ever taught me. Thank you, Dad. You did your job great! ❤
As a 40-year-old female who has never met my father. I felt for most of my life that there was a whole other side of myself that I knew nothing about. My grandmother, mother, babysitters, and daycare raised me. I have 2 older brothers who were raised by their dad. I just didn't understand. When I was younger, why were they with their dad and was only with our mom on weekends or when they got kicked out of school. I tried to find my dad but have not had any luck. I struggled a lot with not having or knowing my dad. I did have a stepdad who wasn't the greatest, but he did step up to provide a somewhat stable home.I was in a dark place for many years and battled with many isms. Recovery is a long road I've been on for 7 and half plus years, and I it's better here. I don't have the need to know my bio dad anymore, but it would be interesting to know how much alike we may be. Maybe someday, but if not, that's ok too. It's all out of my hands. I gave it to God.
I came into my Step Daughters life when she was 10 and was always there for her, I treated her as if shd was my daughter and raised her as such. I always took the time to be there for her no matter what I was doing. I made a point to help her with her homework and she knew she could always tell me anything. I was always the Strong one and had to put my foot down sometimes but help jer become the wonderful women she is today. Shes 25 now and people say they see so mu h of me in her. Im so proud of what she has become and i wouldn't trade any of the time we spent together for anything in this world. Unfortunately me and her mom separated when she was 18 but I still talk to her a lot to this day. I miss making her breakfast and driving her to school but i did my job as a father and happy i was there for her.
My father was in and out of prison and i didnt meet him till i was 17. But I had my uncle who is a hard working good supportive man. He is tough but also fun and loving. He taught me what to look for in a husband and things like changing my tire. I will be forever grateful for that relationship.
I had no one and I'm struggling for years learning to treat my husband properly. Slowly getting there, no matter how hard it gets because my kids will be raised in a home with a mother and father
The timing of this is so funny. Just today my dad woke up at 6am to clear the drive way and clean off his, my moms and and my car bc of the recent snow and I texted my friend saying Im so sorry for girls with daddy issues who will never experience those little things on the daily. I love my dad.
My FIL just passed away, and this reminded me of him. Waking up early to make coffee for everyone, and shuffling the cars in the driveway so the first person to leave in the AM is set to go. Those little things are the most meaningful, cherish your pa and the silly habits they have
To this day, I'll forever be grateful for having both loving birth parents that are still in my life. (Despite them not being together anymore since I was around 8-9ish)
My dad taught me how to interact with, understand, and respect both the world and myself. My mom taught me how to treat people. And they both taught me faith. Between the two of them they taught me everything in my life that’s really worth knowing and I an eternally grateful to them for that.
I grew up with a father who struggled with addiction throughout my childhood and then wasn’t in my life from middle school on. My heart was hardened towards him for a very long time. But my relationship with Jesus taught me what selfless love and true forgiveness even when we don’t deserve it looks like. And I wanted to give that to my father. I figured- if I didn’t first know the kind of love that Jesus showed me, I wouldn’t know how to love either. So I wanted to show my father the love of Christ. I let him walk me down the isle at my wedding (alongside of my grandpa who was my father figure), I told him how much he meant to me, I made an effort to reach out even when he wouldn’t, and this past year I told him he would be a grandfather. He was so proud and told all of his friends at work. He isn’t drinking anymore and although we don’t talk all the time quite yet, he has started reaching out and wanting to come see me and my son. True love is self sacrificing and true forgiveness can he given to those who don’t deserve it. That’s what Christ has taught me. And I’ve seen the transforming power of Christ’s love in both me and now I see it working in my father. All of this to say- forgive the person that made you feel abandoned or alone. It was so freeing to forgive my dad even if he never acknowledged he did anything wrong. It’s hard but through Christ it is possible. I went from a hardened, depressed girl who was seeking validation in men that she never got from her father to a woman of God who is married to a good man and raising a child that gets to grow up with two loving parents and now his grandfather as well. 🤍🥹
Can we also talk about absent mothers?? Especially for daughters.. very detrimental and it also ties into the way women are starting to act. Not nurturing, only fans type behavior, we need our moms too 😢
@@larissagomes451 stupid comment. My mom was absent bc she was an addict and it’s has really effected me today. I know quite a few people with absent mothers.
My mother was “absent” but she was too busy working multiple jobs and paying the bills cause my dad couldn’t bother to be around LOL. I don’t blame her.
My father taught me that I was worth loving and never to settle for being treated as less than I am. He taught me that a man can provide for and protect his family, but also be loving and gentle. He taught me that even after a long day, he would make time for me and I did the same for my kids. He taught me to use tools and camp and start a fire, but also to find a man who wanted to do that for me. He taught me that our job in the world is to help people less fortunate than we are and to make our communities better. He taught me that no matter what, we love our children and make sure they know they will always be loved. I was in my 30s and he still hugged me and kissed me and told me how much I meant to him. He's been gone for over 10 years now and I miss him every single day.
@@PeterNolan-009 mate you need to stop spamming this. It's a you problem, I'm not telling you to get over it, but your being a bad influence on others right now who have fathers or relatives that will give them advice for this when it comes.
My dad and I have become a lot closer since my mom died last August, though we've always been pretty close. He was the person that I went to when I needed advice about something or help with a project. We worked on a lot of projects together when I was younger, and he has taught me some very valuable things, as a father who had great integrity, work ethic, and strong walk with God. I couldn't have asked for a better dad!
this is part of why I'm so happy my parents are still together and happily so. my dad was gone a lot of my childhood (until was around twelve) in the military and the military reserves, and currently travels a lot for his current job. both of my parents have equally shared responsibility in raising me and my brother, and it's crazy realising our experience and that of several of our close friends is so different than a lot of other people's in their twenties (me) and late teens (my brother). seeing this from the other end of the spectrum, too, with one of my close friends having issues with the father of her children, it bothers me so much when people act like fathers don't matter.
I had a rough couple of weeks, but this video made me grateful to have a great dad. We talk every day, and he has been a significant part of my education and career (even now in my mid-20s). He is not just a wonderful father, but also an amazing husband to my mom. I am going to message him right now ❤
My parents stayed together until I was 18, then split. But dad stayed in my life and my mother was the abusive parent. I miss my dad, he’s been gone since 2016. And I married someone like my dad and 37 years, 5 kids, 10 grandkids and we are still together. Fathers are extremely important.
Brett's shock at the hypothesis behind the decline in crime surprised me as it's been around a while. "Freakonomics" (The Hidden side of everything) is a quick read that's worth the time of reading.
The decline in crime might have a correlation with the rise in abortion in the 70’s , but having lived during this time, fatherlessness was identified in the 80’s as the cause behavior issues. There was a great push to mitigate this trend and include fathers and male role models into at-risk youths. Also, Curtis Silwa created the Guardian Angels which had an impact on inner city crime in NYC.
@@jamielynnwallace1125 you would be surprised at how many problems can be solved if you feed children properly prepared home cooking. public education exacerbates every problem we have in society. (it was designed that way). home school your kids.
Correct but so are all the woke numpties and almost all left leaning females on social media - it really does push more people towards the right politically when those on the left are so off key to the point of utter stupidity and nobody on the left challenges the more extreme stupidity from the left. As someone on the right politically I don’t want anything to do with the extreme right and am happy to say so publicly but I rarely if ever see a moderate lefty objecting to the extreme left
Men have a specific brand of wisdom, and stability, and perspective on life that is totally unique from women. Women, no matter how well meaning, can never replicate that especially for their male children. Watching my husband parent our children in his own way for the past 8 years has only made me realize how invaluable men are in their kids lives. I, as a mom, bring what I bring to the table, and he brings something totally different. You need both halves to make the whole. Fatherless children are missing half of their hearts and their brains. It's really heartbreaking to see it every day.
I'm 39 and I just lost my dad to cancer. He was amazing and throughout the process of getting together with family and friends and his memorial and all that, I had a number of people tell me how envious they are that I was lucky enough to have a wonderful father. Even my husband, who never knew his dad, said if he could've had a dad he would've wanted one like mine. Though I've lost my very beloved father, I am incredibly grateful to have had him.
Thank you for sharing about your dad something similar happened to me. I am also 39 and lost my dad to cancer 6 months ago. He was an amazing Dad and I am so grateful for the time God gave us my dad!
@@valevelarde Thank you for sharing, too! It's hard to not dwell on not even being 40 and having to live the rest of my life without him. I wish you strength and healing, friend. We're so lucky to have had our wonderful dads.
My dad has never been very connected to any of us, he is an alcoholic but they didn’t divorce. He was definitely a negative influence. But fathers in my opinion as a woman are very important because every time I didn’t feel loved by my dad no matter how much anyone else loved me I didn’t feel loved by anyone because it was his love that I was working for that I was longing for. Absentee father’s definitely deplete a child’s confidence and self worth. Good men are a necessity but unfortunately a rarity.
@@loganblackwood2922 I don’t think that’s necessarily true. And I’m definitely not saying that good men don’t exist because they do and I’ve met them. I tend to see my version of good men in 80 year old men 😂 so that’s unfortunate. I think men and women both have reason to be angry with each other, because there are definitely sluty women who use men purely for their own gain. And there is also an abundance of men who are ultra controlling or ultra lazy. As far as who women have babies with I think that’s determined by who their father is not completely obviously, like for example I’m a virgin and plan to stay that way until marriage. But there’s also a lot of women who have been so hurt by their dads that they’ll do anything for any man who says that loves her. It’s all very complicated and circumstantial.
I'm 32 and I had my father for brief amounts of time. Rather than summarize what happened, I'll share this. My grandmother gave me a great piece of advice when I asked her where my dad was. She said "I'll tell you when you get older. Right now, pick role models, and choose good traits from then to take on while shunning the bad." I took that to heart, and now it's a habit to have good role models that don't realize that's what they are to me, choose good traits and take them on. I'm a new dad, and I'm going to be the father I wish I had growing up.
I adore my dad. I know no matter where he is or what he’s doing he’ll drop anything for me. After I had my first child and had some complications after delivery and my husband had to go back to work a few days after I had our son, he took a week off work just to take care of me and his new grandson. I only remember him ever “yelling” (and by yelling I mean emphatically speaking to me in a stern tone of voice) at me once when I ran out of gas in a sketchy part of town and he had to come pick me up when I was 19. I have never had less than a quarter tank of gas in my car since. He’s the best person I know. I’m so proud to be his daughter.
I don’t live my dad anymore but we talk every day. He’s my financial advisor, my mechanic, my counselor, etc. I’m so blessed to have the dad I have i wish more people had the dad that I have.
and MOTHERLESSNESS!!! Parents drop their kids off at school then spend 3 or 4 more hours at a daycare with a bunch of strangers. When the kids are home, they're parked in front of a screen. So sad.
my dad left when i was 18 and i have spent a lot of time since working thru my ‘daddy issues’. it definitely feels like i have a dad who i see monthly and call a couple times a week - which i am grateful for - but not an actual masculine leader parent who is involved in the family. also it leaves me as the eldest to be my mum’s rock who she offloads to
My father became disabled in his late 30s. He had to quit his job and made many sacrifices for my family. My father was and is a stay at home dad. As he got better, he opened a window cleaning business but was still always home and there for me and my siblings. My mom was the breadwinner, which you rarely see, but I feel like everyone should experience having a stay at home father.
My dad was a good dad. Had some anger issues that he finally was able to work out, that I unfortunately learned from him but he truly impacted my choice in a husband. Both the good qualities to look for and the bad qualities to avoid. My husband is so happy to be a father and my son’s relationship with him and myself makes every day worthwhile
I had a dad. Manipulative, condescending, and a sociopath at best. For 19 years, I would have to go every summer for six weeks and spend all of my summer childhood at his home. It was awful. He would only be nice with me when it would look good on him he never hit me, but he never was there for me emotionally. After 19 years of trying to be close to him, I finally gave up. I no longer have any contact with him and I have since changed my number so he can longer contact me. I had to go to therapy for the ptsd he caused and now after 5 years I can say I am so happy not to have him in my life. Last words he spoke to were “no offense, but I wish you were never born.” Same to you Don, same to you
As a kid, I HATED my dad forcing me to lay carpets, flooring ect, (fixing the home) as an homeowner, I realised how disadvantaged most of my friends are,
the crazy thing about all of this is that it’s not even just in america. i live in brazil and here it’s just the same… we’re walking towards the same path as the us and as a 20yo is honestly just sad to see how my generation is shaping up to be
My dad was present... but he wasn't very attentive. When he wasn't working, he was doing drugs, chasing girls, or passed out somewhere. He was a pretty good example of what not to do (and my mom was even worse). They've both matured a lot since then and they're better now... but the damage was done. I was a pretty messed up kid. Thankfully, I developed a crush on my 7th grade history teacher. He was a respectable man of God, loved reading, was always kind and encouraging, and intensely devoted to his wife, to the point that he actually yelled at a couple of students who tried to impugn her honor. I thought "If I ever get married, I want a man like THAT." And I found one. I'm glad my boys (and soon-coming daughter) will never have to deal with what I did growing up. They'll have 2 parents who love Jesus, love each other, and love them. The cycle ends with us.
Finally…everyone always blames the mother. Now they are recognizing the father factor. Really??! Now they are copping on…by a system that has allowed fathers to check out in whatever way
The system has forced men away, not allowed. The government is willing to give money to single mothers rather than to help families stay together. It’s more profitable to have multiple fathers of children than to have one caring father
I had a stepdad for 17 years of my life, and I owe a lot of who I am to him. He spent time with me and taught me a lot of valuable lessons while juggling his work, time with my mom, and his family. He was a fun dad who made jokes and made my mom and I laugh in more ways than one and he would really drill me with life lessons and tell me to always take care of my mom and the women in my life. I loved him dearly and want to be like him and it was all because of him
I have the most amazing dad in the world, second only to my husband. I am so grateful to have had such a good example of what a man should be, what a father should be, and what a life partner should be. I wouldn’t be half the women I am today if it wasn’t for my father! ❤
My old man was my entire world. He did everything in his power to lift us up out of the hood and make sure we had a good life. When he passed, a big part of me died with him. Growing up, I knew so many people without a dad or that had one that was either abusive or running the streets. Seeing what I had at home with my dad, and seeing what they didn't always broke my heart, but it allowed me to appreciate the old man even more.
I’m glad you pointed out the role feminism and women in the working world played into the problem of requiring a duel income household. It seems like most people haven’t thought about that facet playing a role into degenerating our society.
@@beans4853 For us ? Who is us? Feminism provided women with basic human rights and autonomy. It provided women with the freedom to live life on their own terms. Many women have aspirations far beyond being wives and mothers. Women are no longer funneled into a life of servitude.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 serving bosses is every bit as much servitude. And much less fulfilling than serving those you love. Now most women actually have no choice but to go out and work just to make ends meet. Even those who do want to be homemakers can't. It definitely ruined it for many if not most women. For some, it takes a little longer to realize it
I am 27 years old. My parents separated when I was 10. I got taken from my biological mother at 12. Got adopted at 14( i was molested by my adoptive father when i was 15-17) got kick out at 17 because I told the sherriff department about my adoptive father but adoptive choose to believe him. I live with a couple from church until i was 22, they told me i was like their daughter but slowly I saw they were using me. I had to block everyone. I am planning to go to couples counseling and go to a counseling by myself. Not having a father and not seeing a healthy marriage cause me to have marital problems. Not the end of the world if you don't have a dad but if you need counseling go get it. Having a son, i see he definitely need a mom and dad. I am trying my best to see he has a healthy childhood.
I am so thankful my dad was in my life and still is. He provided structure in my life and set an example of the type of man I deserve as a husband. Men you will be the first man your daughter will ever love. Do you best to set an example of the type of man she deserves.
The fact that working people are constantly expected to work harder and longer without any significant raise in pay is just setting us up to have the horrible work culture of Japan and South Korea. These places have men and women pushed so hard to work and is causing a crisis of loneliness which then leads into less births. Maybe these companies should pay their employees more fairly or just tell their employees they can work less since the company can afford to lose a bit, after all in exchange their employees are happier and can work on their own personal lives now.
I grew up with just my dad, my mom passed away when I was young, and my dad stepped up to the plate. He is my hero! He taught me to love God, to love others, to work hard, be kind and honest, how to cook, and so much more. He is the happiest person I know despite the hand he was dealt in life, which has been tough. It’s not easy raising two kids on your own. I definitely got lucky and love my dad so much!
My dad was in my home but not in my life. My mom was basically a single parent because my dad did nothing for anyone but himself. I have no tangible relationship with my dad and he made things hard for our family.
This is so true though. My father is one of the biggest figures in my life. I rely on him for protection and affirmation, and as a woman, that's important. I would much rather get that in love and sincerity from him than in greed and lust from someone else, simply to feed my brokenness!
im 13 and I have a good dad and im very greatful for him. he works a lot but when hes off he still spends time with us and he is funny but when hes upset hes very serious, when im older and have kids i want them to have a good dad too
My Dad left when I was a baby. Good thing too, he wasn't a nice person. However, growing up I always felt this hole as soon as I knew how babies were made. Questions started swirling round in my head "why did he leave?" "Is it my fault?" "Did I break my parents up?" And so on. But, I am so thankful that I had my Grandad. He passed away 10 years ago in March and before he could teach me somethings because I was just a couple of years too young. But through a large portion of the chaos I went through where people may not have and didn't believe me, he did. He also kept it to himself if he felt it necessary, but also would fight for me when I didn't know. A decade without him hurts, but I feel like I am on a more even playing field because I had him. Looking at my Grandparents love showed me how to love a partner and still be your own person in a relationship. I am one of the lucky fatherless adults because I had him, even if it doesn't feel like we had him long enough.
To add a bit of history for this segment; the subtraction of men in the household really took off during the LBJ administration. That administration allowed for and encouraged women to become single parents, as it gave them more government funds with more children and the stipulation was that there could not be another provider. Now this is not blaming women at all that is not the point of this. But rather stating what the foundation was. Then you add an ideology, contemporary feminism, that is "blame all men for the wrongs in society" and you have created an epidemic of fatherless homes that only leads to higher rates of crime and depression just to name a few consequences of that.
My papa was a tiger/helicopter parent for the longest time he was there through everything and I fought him relentlessly growing up because I felt he didn’t listen to me or understood my point of view didn’t speak for a good year at one point but it took me until I was 21 to finally understand what he was trying to do. Like I love my father so much had he not been in my life I would’ve been a monster and I was already a sweet nightmare as a child. I’m working really hard to make him understand that i appreciate everything he did
Thank you Brett for bringing this up. I am so sick of this being overlooked. This is the #1 pandemic in this country. I am so proud to be a father. I cannot think of my life without my angels. It makes me sick the fathers who walk away. But it makes me more disgusting how we are also attacked by the courts, judges, lawyers, and law makers. I am so sick of the discrimination and how they think we are nothing but ATMs and visitors. And then, don't get me started on the dead beat mothers who alienate the children from the father. Of course, claiming child abuse. When in reality, most of it is, 'if he does not want to be with me, then he won't be with the kids.' Then the, 'I have a right to abort my child because I cannot financially support it. So, then your ok if a father aborts his obligation? No. He better pay.' Double standard makes me sick. You should never leave your child and not take care of them. But if your going to allow mothers to murder their obligation, a father has a right to do so as well.
I call it the true silent epidemic because fathers are forced to shut up about it. Case in point, Kash Jackson...his judge pushed and pushed and pushed, then punished Kash for speaking out. God forbid a father being dragged through hell have a reaction to the abuse he and his children are wrongfully being put through. He is still sitting in prison for speaking out. Also, the majority of fathers don't choose to "walk away". They are forced. You can only fight for so long before you are completely in debt and being forced to pay to attorney and court fees of the person you are fighting against on top of support taken out of every paycheck, the child's custodial parent gets some and whatever state is taking the money gets some too. (Most people don't realize the states financially benefit from child support...weird, I thought that $ was suppose to be for the child.)
@@MaraJadeSkky I could not have said it any better. Men are automatically up against a wall before they even enter the court room. I have been there. I have heard every single excuse why women should have automatic custody and why fathers should beg on all fours just to get a couple weekends. It is truly disgusting. Yes, most men are forced to accept what a judge gives them. I can testify to that. I fought and fought and fought. Now they won't even let me file a motion unless I pay the GAL nearly $5,000 for doing nearly nothing for me and spending that time doing things the mother asked. But because it is 50/50, I have to pay her to do what the mother asked. It is disgusting. I do have full custody of my oldest son. And yet, when I proved that point, the judge said, 'they are two different cases.' I said, but the principle is not. He just shrugged his shoulders. Because when you prove them wrong, they have no answer or try to shut you up. It is ALL about pleasing women. There is an agenda.
I listen to the conversations my kids have with my husband. I am always processing their feelings with them. He cares for their feelings but his approach is pragmatic. They come to their own answers because of his approach to their questions. It’s really nice to see them reason it out because he listens and responds but doesn’t work everything out for them they rise to his expectation to figure it out for themselves.
Everyday I have to remind myself to thank God that I have fatherpower, my biological dad, not just in my home but as a pillar in my life. I have to remind myself that I am already starting off life far ahead mentally and emotionally more prepared and stable than my someone as simple as my neighbor or first cousin. I am extremely grateful that my father is not only in my life but my parents are still married and still have given me an amazing foundation that I hope to give my future daughter.
Just turned 35, and my parents have been married since '76. My foundation was rock solid, and it was so apparently different from all of my friends when I was growing up that it made me look at the differences in outcomes. I was loved and safe and knew my place, and I got to experience the balance that comes from having two loving parents (homosexual unions with adoption do not count). Had I not had that blessing in my life, I shudder to think the kind of person I would have become had I not had such strong, wholesome examples. They gave me a standard to aspire to, and they're still my heroes. I appreciate people my age making the sacrifices for their kids to give them the kind of leg up I had.
I was never allowed to watch "family guy" or "the Simpsons" because they had useless, deadbeat dads. My mum and dad are best friends, and my dad is a mild-mannered, kind and works extremely hard to provide for his family and help us in any and all ways. My mother and I have a frought relationship most of the time but I have never had that sort of thing with my dad..... also if girls have a strong connection relationship with their dads they physically go thru puberty later than those without, and girls with a stable dad even have later age at menarche, which held true for me ,(for me if held tru, I didn't get mine till I was 14!).
Me neither. I always attribute the state of things right now to shows like the Simpsons because like it or not, they changed the culture and for the worse. They gave a free pass to denigrate all parts of society. And the rest of us are just supposed to enjoy it and laugh. It's twisted, actually.
I'm 19 and I've always been a daddies girl. Everyday I'm grateful for my dad, he's the best man I know and has shown me what a good godly man is like. I know so many young women who fall into horrible relationships because they never had a good father in their home. The day I lose him is going to be a very sad one.
My father is everything to me, he has always been there for me when I have needed him. No matter what my struggle, he has been there. I am grateful for him and I hope my children (age 4 and 2) will be able to see me like I see him as they grow up.
Brett read the book Freakonomics. It does not support abortion but simply points out the statistical correlation between increased abortions and a drop in crime. Babies born into difficult environments have higher propensity for crime and if there never born there is no crime to commit.
I can say that in my own personal experience, myself and other men/fathers I know, some women are doing all they can to keep us away from our children. Some men are weak. I will say that. They aren’t willing to fight for their kids. But I get how hard the legal battle is. How the stress kills you inside. I’ve been through it. I fought for my kids. I’ve always been active father. She cheated and wanted to replace me. During my divorce I’d go weeks without seeing my kids. With no court order at the time, I couldn’t do anything about it. It was up to her to let me have them with an “emergency custody injunction”. Our legal system is messed up and needs to be reformed. It took 3 years (how long my divorce took during Covid). For me to get 5050 custody of my kids. I had to spend almost $40k just have my rights as a father. And just because the divorce is over, doesn’t mean I don’t still have to deal with her garbage. I can see why men walk away. Not saying it’s right but I can empathize with those men.
I am very thankful for my dad. When I was younger, I wasn’t as close to him as my mom, but he was always there for me. He works full-time, providing the money so that we can survive. His daily routine consists of waking up at five every morning, going to work, coming home after four, and either going to work outside or relaxing. After the pandemic I became a lot closer with my dad, and after I moved out, I really miss him all the time and am always so excited to see him on weekends at church. He has made me who I am, and I think I’m able to survive on my own because of him. One of my fondest memories is when a door was slammed on my finger so that the nail was almost off. My dad took my hand gently and just ripped the nail off to get it over with quickly. I don’t remember what happened after, but later I fell asleep on his lap and woke up when my mom brought us eggnog. I am very thankful that I had both of my parents around.
First, establish some sort of legal consequences for adultery, even if it's just loss of marriage benefits. Second, replace the Edmunds Act and the Morril-Act with a law that puts polygamists under harsher scrutiny instead of sending them to jail for five years if they live with more than one wife (if we can't get wandering men to stop practicing plurality, at least make it possible for them to commit in theur plurality). And punish secret polygamy harshly (marrying and extra partner without ever telling your spouse is legally just adultery with extra steps) Third, remove the welfare state that subsidizes single motherhood. And lastly, to bonus objectives that are pie in the sky: A: get people to stop worshipping the dollar, striving for profits instead of wealth. (This will free up time for parenting as wealth snowballs for all instead of being siphoned off by malicious powers) B: break the stranglehold that transgressivism has on pornographic content. Allow such wild media to feature love and parenthood instead of lust and infidelity or selfishness. I don't know how they do it, but they keep all depiction of happily married couples locked down, hidden away, or cringey and indistinguishable from porn stars banging because it is so lustful (I'm not saying porn is good or moral, I'm saying it is artificially being kept extra bad.) Oh, and C: teach kids in "health class" about the neurological impact of sexual pleasure (it is powered by "trust neurohormones") , they should understand why it is the most addictive thing, and how that can be helpful in marriage, and harmful out of it. Sorry for the long comment. But it's a complex issue.
Maybe make it against the law to cheat across the US? A high number of men leave because they do that, and get no consequences for it. and maybe blocking influencers like fresh and fit/Andrew Tate that encourage them to do that on all platforms would be better for a healthier society.
@@dragonsman4733Would not to much. You just don't get married, or you divorce, or you cheat anyway and are still not present in the child's life and now have legal problems.
My parents divorced when I was around 7-8 (it was a long process) and when they officially divorced, my mom took my sister and me to a different state. Not because my father was dangerous, but because she saw we had more opportunities in the other state (aligning with our religion). My father still keeps in touch with us, and we visit him at least 2-3 times a year (during the summer, for 6 weeks). I still admire my father greatly, he works hard for his new wife and stepson and is a great father and advisor. He is a stable terminal for when I need advice on situations that he isn't greatly affected by. He works two jobs, works every day of the week (even the weekends) and he owns a business (one of the jobs he works). He's very hands-on when he does have my sister and me to hang out with, and makes sure he finds some sort of fun thing for us to do all together as a family. Yes, he isn't completely in my life and I don't always have immediate access to him, but he still makes sure he's able to hang out with me when he is with me.
I’m a woman in America and used to have a good dad until my mom passed away. I’ve been in intensive therapy and I’m relying on my faith because God is the only good father I have and my grandpa is a great father figure in my life. I needed a father growing up. I love men and I appreciate them.
My father was the KINDEST man I ever knew. My brother is also very kind. He might not have always known what to say to connect with me, but he always tried. He helped other people when they needed help, he gave away things the could've gotten money for just to "be a blessing to someone." If someone he was talking to said they were sick, he would grab their hand and ask to pray with them, didn't matter if it was in the middle of a store or in private. My mom had a temper and he was good at coaxing her and calming her down. He said something that my aunt (mom's sister) took as offense and became majorly angry about, even though it wasn't in any way how he meant it. He apologized even though he'd done nothing wrong. He said that his relationship with her was worth more than being right in that moment. He could fix anything. Gerry-rig just about anything to make something easier or work better. I'm single at 40 years old and I believe it's because my dad set a standard for men that is almost impossible to find. He passed away in 2015 and we miss him every day.
When I was 24, I confronted my father about molesting me as a tween because it always bothered me as to why. When I did, he denied it and said to never speak to him again. This was 15 years ago. Relationship just poof* gone, when he could of just apologized and helped me understand.
as sad as it is to say, people never wanna talk about what theyre not proud of. ive always wondered why my mother left us, even though the whole family keeps that more of a secret than epstein's list. all im trying to say is you shouldnt let the lack of closure get the best of you, especially when these monsters never wanna fix anything. im so sorry about what you went through and hope you heal from that
@@jaketheripper721My mother denied all of the abuse she subjected us to and gaslit us until the day she died. Bad people do bad things and either pretend they're entitled to do bad things, or that they never did them at all.
My dad is such an important part of why I’m the person I am today. When I was a kid, he really believed in me and made sure that I was capable without codling me. He expected me to help with the house and farm. And when I was able to do those tasks, that gave me confidence and proved through action that he was right and I was capable. He set me up for things that were hard but that he knew I could do. THAT is the kind of self esteem building that builds character I think. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I’ve always known that he loves me and that he (and my mom) were a safety net that I could rely on if I fell.
I'm 22 years old now and never had a father , i live with my mom , many people try to say "women can raise the children alone" or "women don't need a men by her side for take of the childen" , but in real life is harder than many think
That's the way it works with other animals, the female herself is capable of raising the young, the male is simply kept around for gene supply. It is for this reason that when breeding cattle, you'll see a lot of females with very few males. Humans are a unique exception. Because we're born relatively premature, we're extremely helpless in early life, which directly results in us requiring both parents.
Remember fellas. I proved alimony and child support are voluntary payments in January 2008. Brett won't be telling you that.
Garnished wages disagree@@PeterNolan-009
@@PeterNolan-009 How did you prove that?
That's not true for all species. Most birds and many primates actually require the father to survive. Chimpanzees depend on each other when young are born. The entire family supports the mother. Penguin fathers actually roost the eggs in the polar winter while the mother goes out to feed after laying. She comes back with the first meal for a hatched chick. Humans actually aren't unique. @@reubenmanzo2054
Thanks for reacting! This was one of my favorite videos I’ve ever made and so great to hear you and your audience’s thoughts as well 🤝
Also full video on my channel!
Damn, it’s the man himself! You do some great work, love your content
YET NONE OF THEM SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ELON MUSK AND 10 KIDS>>>STOP IT
Absolutely love your content, Gen. Keep it up, asking the real questions!
I love your videos so much!!!
I became a single parent to a 9 year old child when my husband died. Any woman who says she doesn’t need a father for her child is either stupid or selfish.
No women want that
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤
Agreed ♥️
Very true. A child needs both a capable mother and a capable father in their life. Then again, it’s tough to find a new partner for divorced parents or widows/widowers. That partner needs to be the right fit for you AND the child and needs to be willing to be a parent. That’s tough…
I'm so sorry
I'm 23 and an only child - a bastard son. Parents were never married, I was basically a mistress's offpsring. My father was never in the picture, he only visited once a week and provided financially. I lived comfortably compared to my peers but psychologically and emotionally it was a shipwreck. My mother was also neglectful, abusive and was focused entirely on making sure she satisfied him through any means to keep giving us money so that he wouldn't leave. I mostly had to raise myself, deal with my own emotions and could not learn basic things that other "normal" families taught their own children (namely social interaction, healthy relationships, conflict resolution or even changing a tire). I swore to myself to never bring this abhorrent upbringing to my own children. If you decide to want to have kids, the readyness starts way before they are conceived, they are lives to nurture and raise, not solutions or means to other ends.
Good luck man
No god but Allah
Islam way for peace and real monotheist
Search about the truth with honest heart
im proud of you for keeping at it
Hugs
I’m sorry about everything, I’m sure you’ll be a great dad and good luck.
I’m 14 and it’s been 5 months since my dad was killed in a freak work accident. I have noticed that the lack of a father figure in my life has caused a lot of change. The media dads help a lot.
Are there no real, live people you can turn to? An uncle, or the father of one of your friends? I hope that there is.
I'm sincerely sorry that this has happened to you. It must be very hard at such a young age. You don't say if your dad and you were close or if you're close with your mom, but I hope you get thru this without too much harm to your mental well-being.
I'm not a person who is "preachy" to other people, but I do believe that God hears us when we pray, so I'm going to pray that you find the right answers at this time in your life. Take care.
My condolences on the loss of your father. I know it is difficult. You have learned a hard lesson at a young age, one that will echo for years to come. My own father passed about eight years ago; he was retired, but I still miss him every day. Truth be told, the lessons you are learning now - the endurance of grief - cannot be found in a book, and certainly not on social media. This loss will shape you in ways you cannot now imagine. But, it can strengthen you, in time, if you are willing. And maybe, one day, you can the person your father wanted you to be - and become the person, or parent, that you need now.
This is dire, and 14 is too young to have to deal with anything like this. You may or may not realize, but these next few years are going to be soo important in determining the quality of your life to come. I know im an internet stranger but promise me to protect your mental health at all costs. Never, ever try any drugs or alcohol thinking it will improve your situation, and devote some time to figuring out the best way to move forward, get help if you need to.
@@suedarnell6 my mom and I do not have a good relationship. My dad and I were very close. He was honestly my best friend and now not having a best friend nor a father is very draining especially living in a generation where being fatherless is funny. I don’t have other male figures I can turn to. Thank you for your support❤️🙏🏻
@@HaymesMichaelC thank you for your condolences and I am sorry for your fathers passing. It is a very maturing experience and I can say I have personally learned a lot from it - whether it is independence or to never take something so small yet so large for granted. Thank you❤️
My father worked 3 jobs to provide for our family of 7. He taught me that even with work taking most of his time. He always talked to us. Took us to church. Tried to attend as many sports or school functions as he could. He lived a long life (98) and I was there when he passed. I think of my dad and my children every day to remind me what it means to be a father. I miss you Dad.
I'm 23 years old and I still live with my parents. Watching this video reminds me of how much I respect Dad, and I don't take him for granted. He's 37 years older than me, and he has never smoked or committed a crime in his entire life. Not only that, but he knew when to hold me to account if I did something bad, but not to the point where he could've been abusive.
Same here on all ends. I'm grateful not only for everything my dad has done for me throughout my life, but I'm also grateful for what he taught me. The same goes for my mom. I'm incomprehensibly grateful to both.
I'm 24 years old and my old man is currently 64 and I also still live with my folks. (My younger sister did move out in August though!)
Save your money for your first house, you’ll be so much better off in the long run.
As a 35 yr guy that lives with his parent married since the mid 80s I can say that while it would nice to have an apartment in one of this apartment complexes maybe with a balcony like many of them usually have I couldn't afford it but at the same the idea of living and being totally alone never appealed to me anyways so I've kept living with my parents and besides they need me to mow, rake leaves and shovel snow for them because their at an age where they can't do themselves without help, also their the only family I have.
Ur dad had you when he was 14?!
My dad worked eighty hours a week to support our family of six kids, till he died when I was eight and from there I watched my family fall apart piece by piece and it's honestly heartbreaking
Oh I'm sry abt his passing rip🕊️
80 hours a week wow thats some good work ethics
My dad wasn't around a whole lot but I had a kickass grandpa who was one of my favorite people growing up. The best father figure I could've had.
That is awesome great grandpa
My situation exactly. He and my grandmother saved my childhood. Absolutely saved it. I have no clue where I would be without them, if not dead. They have given me everything. We still talk on the phone all the time.
Definitely the next best thing! I had neither. I'm glad you were blessed.
That makes me happy to hear. My son’s father is not in the picture. But my parents are both extremely involved in his life, they are helping raise him. My dad is a really neat guy, who is a Mr fix it and loves the outdoors. I hope my son feels less cheated because at least his grandpa loves him like crazy!
Yeah my grandpa was definitely more involved than my father at his house he didn't need anyone to tell him to provide discipline
My dad is the first generation that actually really cared about his kids. He had some shortcomings thanks only to physical disability, but he set a great example I think. One to follow, and he has given me good advice with my new daughter. It’s so fun being a dad
Sounds weird. TV and outside raised me. Went.... a way.
@@buysncharge one thing I'll be changing about my parenting that my parents didn't do is moderated technology. I definitely wasted away my childhood on video games, I don't want my kids doing that...I won't be making iPad kids
Congrats on your new baby!
@@foxcheer96 Thank you!!!
I am blessed. I was raised by two loving parents. Having a mom and a dad made me a much more prepared and whole person.
Gods return policy was ruff, parents weren’t in the budget
Let me admit something, once Brett said write a letter, I instantly began to find things to write a letter to my dad.
I live in a traditional household, and my dad and I are the ones who normally bump heads. My sister tells me we are so similar we just dont click. Fights and conflicts about my future and what I want to do sort of were the main reasons we got mad at each other.
Once I began to watch this video, I began to find many reasons to appreciate my dad in how much he provides, how funny he can be, and, especially, how his corrections have changed my life for the better. I thank God for such a good dad and hope and pray that my future husband will be as amazing and incredible as my dad.
My dad got permanently sober on my 17th birthday, when I was pregnant with my first son, his first grandchild. He really stepped up for my son after his biological father died. I didn’t get the dad I desperately needed growing up… I experienced abuse and stuff I wouldn’t have if he’d been sober for me. We’re very close now and I love my dad for being a wonderful grandfather. And I’m extraordinarily proud of his sobriety. And feel blessed I married a quality man who is a great dad to our 3 boys AND my oldest as his own. 💕
Red flag getting pregnant in and during HS, imagine if ya man found out ya real body count.🤣👌 A simp for a 304s.
One thing a lot of people dont talk about is that a dad can also teach you what not to do. I learned how a man should act from my dad, but he is human and i was also able to learn things not to do from observing his failures. Every time i see a video like this i am unbelievably grateful to have grown up with both of my parents.
My dad was a deeply flawed man. He was a Vietnam veteran and never really dealt with the guilt he carried for the lives he took, so he drank to self-medicate, and sometimes he would take out his self-hatred on me. But he was also a very funny man who had tons of male friends, who was respected and well-liked, and he taught me everything I know about being a good guy. And in his flaws, he taught me just as much about being a good guy.
I am one of the lucky ones. My dad was my hero. Frankly, he was everyone's hero. I can't even begin to explain it. He wasn't much of a talker, but when we were alone, working on fences, or taking care of the cattle, or just hanging out, I felt like I was in the presence of superman. We laughed. And cried together. It probably wasn't until he died that I realized he was mortal. I miss him like crazy.
I am a male and 20, i didn’t have a father, and then I had a stepfather at 12 who I genuinely bonded with and had that first feeling of what it means to have a father, he treated me like a son, he taught me things that I still hold to this day and help shape my morality through puberty, until he abandoned me and my mum at 17. I honestly consider myself lucky because my mum tried to be everything she could for me, and my successes are all attributed to her amazing skills, but even with her skillset and her love, I still feel unbalanced and may always feel unbalanced because that fatherly feeling isn’t there. The amazing thing about fathers is that any man can be a father, my uncles were my primary figures in what a good man does, and what flaws and challenges a man can face. Is it impossible to be a fatherless child, no of course not, but I realise within myself I have a lot of gaps and a lack of development within me as a person and a man that my mum struggled to help me with
I’m 23 and when I was 4 years old my mom took me away from my dad. My dad moved halfway across the country, my mom married an abuser, and the only role model I ever had was my mom but I always felt I missed that male role model. She married another guy when I was 15 who wasn’t an abuser and I really needed that male role-model at that time. I felt like it was a hole in me. So I tried to look up to this man but he rejected me. He didn’t want anything to do with being a role model in my life. Now I’m 23 and having to learn everything on my own that a father usually does. I’ve been called a mamas boy, criticized for my lack of skills, and struggle to make male friends even though I want to. Now it’s up to me to fill in those gaps, myself.
While it is true that any man can fill the gaps for a fatherless boy, i still feel like i am missing a part of myself because i didn't have my father growing up.
Same here i was 11 when i had a step dad he hit my mom for the first time drunk at 16 so they split it did hurt having the goodbye talk 2 days later i found out he hit her she probably did it because she knew me and my brother would fight any man for her. My real father would hit my mom drunk he became an alcoholic and cheat when i was 3 i seen my uncles scream and hit they girl so i Don't drink
Because of this. i carry weapons (7.62-556) to protect my mother and sister
Even raised my sister im more like her father so i know i would be a great father some day
My father was a military dad who was stern on the outside and super soft and loving on the inside. I was a bit of a daddy's girl and when he taught me to do things like change my tire or jump the car battery, I always knew this was a protective father thing - making his girl self reliant and strong. And I 100% married a man who was like my father. Blue collar, hard working, an absolute loving softie with his family who can fix things, protect his family, but also respect me (and the fact that I make more than him) and project strength when it's needed. I am forever grateful that my father gave me an example of the kind of man every woman should strive to find and marry. He passed away last year and this made me really miss him.
For the rest of my life I will teach young men to never get married, never have children because it's not worth it. My case proves that.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ your dad sounded like a great guy
@@PeterNolan-009 I'm sorry what does that have to do with their comment?
@@MAOSAKA_ Test comment.
@@PeterNolan-009because it was bad in your case, everybody should follow your point of view?
weird.
And that’s not how life works.
Life is never about avoiding every inconvenience/struggle/etc., but having tools to face them.
I'll be 37 tomorrow and just lost my dad this past August. He was a great father and I struggle with his loss every day. I'm so sorry to everyone who did not have the opportunity to have a dad.😢 They are so important in our lives.
Sorry for your loss I am the same age as you and mine passed away from a heart attack when I was 16 (undiagnosed heart condition) and yeah that was very rough.
I just lost my father in law last week to an unexpected heart attack :( I didn’t have a relationship with my own dad and my FIL filled that hole in my heart. I worry for my husband (28), do you have any advice for the first couple months of loss?
Yes I lost my dad at 35. You never get over a great dad
My parents divorced when I was 2. This impacted me through my entire life. My dad has always tried to be involved in my life, but he also moved across state lines after their divorce so it was never easy to see him. I grew up living my life thinking "I have a dad, I don't have a father".
I wouldn't be surprised he left the state to be harder for your mother to slap him with a restraining order or an OFP. That's exactly why my husband left the state his children are in with their mother..she kept abusing systems created to protect real victims and they make it so easy to get an emergency RO with zero evidence. It's terrifying how easy it is to destroy an innocent man's life. Maybe I'm wrong, chances are you'll never know the full truth either sadly.
I know a woman with 2 little boys who resented her hubby so much she divorced her husband and took the boys 3500 miles away. He wasn't exactly a pin up hubby but she would bring up issues with their WEDDING that she blamed on him 10 years later!. He never had a chance. I told her, you just gotta let that stuff go. How can he grow if you are still needling him about stuff from years ago? She would just say "well it was really thoughtless!" Its not like he cheated on her. She also refused to let him discipline the kids and always gave them i pads when they misbehaved. She told me she thought me putting my boys in time out was mean even though my kids are happy and nice and hers are grumpy and nasty. We didn't stay friends. I felt like she was determined to destroy her marriage despite her kids
This ended up being what happened in my family also. Our grandparents moved around with us and were our neighbors growing up, I pretty much see my gramps as being my father. My mother re-married but me and my brother disliked the step dad, my brother no longer is in contact with him and I think I may do the same. Man, everything happens for a reason.
@diggiplayW8 That’s too bad that happened. Divorce hurts kids all through life even f they were too young to remember it. It still wreaks its havoc through all stages of a child’s development. I hope you can find some healing and well being . I will pray for you.
@diggiplayW8 That’s too bad that happened. Divorce hurts kids all through life even f they were too young to remember it. It still wreaks its havoc through all stages of a child’s development. I hope you can find some healing and well being . I will pray for you.
My father was very abusive to me, physically, verbally, and mentally, after him and my mother get divorced and I ended up taking him to court to try to get me to live full time with my mother. I don’t know what it’s like to have an absent father but I do know I’d rather have an absent father over an abusive one.
It is definitely better to have an absent father than an abusive one and while it does not change how awful abuse is, kids are still damaged from not having a father. And the vast majority of cases are the absent cases that are the mother's choice. They are the ones that know when they get pregnant and they are the ones that get the legal choice.
I grew up with just my mom, and she taught me gardening and fixing a tire. My parents divorced when I was 7, and I definetly feel a loss there. It’s like what Brett said, I never saw my dad be the husband my mom deserved and my brother struggles too, he never saw what man he could be.
Now Im 24 and my mom has finally found a man who treats her right, I have been saying for years that I don’t need a dad, but after my new stephfather came around, I see the importance of a male role model!
I’m a 32 years old woman, my parents divorced when I was 6 but my dad was an extremely present father. Today I can recognize that my relationship with him was so important that I, unconsciously, chose my husband based on what I liked and hated about my own dad growing up and I just realized this recently. His character, actions, and mistakes ended up being more detrimental in my selection of a life partner than even my past relationships. I can’t appreciate enough how important my dad was in my life because despite his many mistakes he was always there for me. And this makes me very emotional since he passed away suddenly less than two months ago but the memory of his love will be with me always.
I see so many people say most dads are deadbeats who just don't want to pay child support... they couldn't be more wrong in most cases. No one has a clue how sinister family court/child support is until they are part of the abusive system. My husband regularly gets told he is the exception, no! He is the majority. Dads are not allowed to be dads and now we are seeing all the kids/fatherless adults who are suffering from having that bond intentionally severed.
Agreed. My husband pays child support but the bio-mom lost “temporary” custody (wow just realized 6 yrs ago) and refuses to take the kids to school/sport events/practices or anything that slightly inconveniences her. Family court is a joke
Not true! As the mother that has asked and begged my ex husband to be there for his kids he would constantly cancel or not show up until he stopped. I let him off child support because he couldn’t afford it until he completely left the state with no notice and I filed for support. Yet he blames me…seriously most moms are very reasonable and want their kids to have a good relationship with their dads. Although I also notice a huge change when the same men move on to new relationships and get the new women involved when she doesn’t know the whole story
@@K-sd5so great for you being an upstanding mother... most moms are NOT like that. And I'm speaking as a mom. I've had moms confide all sort of messed up stuff they've done just to mess with their ex and the bond with their child. You may be an anomaly, but that does not mean the majority of mothers are like you.
38 now and my dad wasn't around as a kid. I went through alot of phases of depression and acting out. My mom wasn't to blame at all, she showed me how to respect people and how to think critically. But not having my dad around ruined me doing alot in life.
Being a father has been the number 1 most important and gratifying position I've ever held. Nothing else comes close. I stepped away and turned down several higher paying jobs to stay close to home so if and when something arises, I'm only 10 minutes away. I can land one of those jobs later, once they're out of the house.
Very interesting take and I totally agree. I can already tell you are a good father and one I wish I had. I intend on giving my kids everything in the world.
You’re a good father
You are a good man, and the kind of father I wish I'd had. Your children are blessed.
Same; I was widowed when my wife died when the kids were 11 and 13. Left my high-stress, traveling job to be stable, flexible, and 30min from home in the event of sickness and incidents at school.
I got my husband a T-shirt that says "Dad: The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love."
i'm a fatherless teenage girl myself, but as a Christian, I'm so thankful to have the almighty God as my Father. living as an only child with just my mom is tough on its own, and we have our moments where it can be hard to get along. although i'm not the perfect daughter, i try to be obedient and cooperate with my mother so that things can work for the both of us. it's not always pretty, but i'm trying to understand her a bit more and trying to see her as less annoying.
It's never easy. One of the reasons humans throughout history have developed religion, myth, and legends is because those stories give us something to guide our actions. It has to be something above us, greater than us, and seemingly impossible to achieve, but it works. Keep thinking of the stories and parables, and look a little deeper than face value, and you'l find the bible full of great wisdom. As I often tell folks, even if the bible is pure fiction, it still shows us that people thousands of years ago were dealing with the same issues and found wisdom that they passed down to us. We just have to be open to it.
You know kid, I’m confident you’ll pull through. That level of reflection and humbleness as a teen is impressive. Respects
We are rooting for you. Please continue to follow Christ.
Christian here: She’s annoying because she knows the world better than you do and she just loves you.
~ former annoyed teenage girl who misses her mom daily
@@sofiabravo1994 debatable statement. From personal experience, people can be just annoying for no other good reason...
Well, being a single mom, was quite enough for my mother to be annoying
My 14 yr old is obsessed with you and Candace Owens. She literally watches every free moment she has, and she always puts your show on as she goes to bed! Thank you so much for all the great work you put in for our young people!
Candace Owens is a false speaker and a fraud. So your daughter is getting a good education on how to become such.
Remember fellas. Don't get married. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. My case proved that.
Good! My 12 year old loves Brett too. She's a great example to the younger generation of what a strong young woman looks and acts like.
My teen daughter as well. There are a few topics Brett has covered where I'm like - eeeesh, not sure about that topic. But she's quick to remind me "Dad, I'm already aware of topic from conversations in school." She listens to Brett and Amala quite consistently.
I'm a 14yo and I do the same 😂
I just have to shout out my father here. Even though he came from an abusive family, he never laid hands on me or my brother and no one else was EVER allowed to hurt us or do something that is not good for us. He taught me many important life lessons, that no one else would've ever taught me.
Thank you, Dad. You did your job great! ❤
As a 40-year-old female who has never met my father. I felt for most of my life that there was a whole other side of myself that I knew nothing about. My grandmother, mother, babysitters, and daycare raised me. I have 2 older brothers who were raised by their dad. I just didn't understand. When I was younger, why were they with their dad and was only with our mom on weekends or when they got kicked out of school. I tried to find my dad but have not had any luck. I struggled a lot with not having or knowing my dad. I did have a stepdad who wasn't the greatest, but he did step up to provide a somewhat stable home.I was in a dark place for many years and battled with many isms. Recovery is a long road I've been on for 7 and half plus years, and I it's better here. I don't have the need to know my bio dad anymore, but it would be interesting to know how much alike we may be. Maybe someday, but if not, that's ok too. It's all out of my hands. I gave it to God.
Why not ask your mom? You can also do the genetic tests and enter into the pool to find genetic relatives.
I came into my Step Daughters life when she was 10 and was always there for her, I treated her as if shd was my daughter and raised her as such. I always took the time to be there for her no matter what I was doing. I made a point to help her with her homework and she knew she could always tell me anything. I was always the Strong one and had to put my foot down sometimes but help jer become the wonderful women she is today. Shes 25 now and people say they see so mu h of me in her. Im so proud of what she has become and i wouldn't trade any of the time we spent together for anything in this world. Unfortunately me and her mom separated when she was 18 but I still talk to her a lot to this day. I miss making her breakfast and driving her to school but i did my job as a father and happy i was there for her.
I was adopted after being abandoned by my birth parents; best thing that’s ever happened to me.
My father was in and out of prison and i didnt meet him till i was 17. But I had my uncle who is a hard working good supportive man. He is tough but also fun and loving. He taught me what to look for in a husband and things like changing my tire. I will be forever grateful for that relationship.
I had no one and I'm struggling for years learning to treat my husband properly. Slowly getting there, no matter how hard it gets because my kids will be raised in a home with a mother and father
The timing of this is so funny. Just today my dad woke up at 6am to clear the drive way and clean off his, my moms and and my car bc of the recent snow and I texted my friend saying Im so sorry for girls with daddy issues who will never experience those little things on the daily. I love my dad.
Those girls learn to clear their own driveways and their own cars
My FIL just passed away, and this reminded me of him. Waking up early to make coffee for everyone, and shuffling the cars in the driveway so the first person to leave in the AM is set to go. Those little things are the most meaningful, cherish your pa and the silly habits they have
I miss my dad terribly. He passed in 1992, and I feel like I've missed a lot of quality time with him.
To this day, I'll forever be grateful for having both loving birth parents that are still in my life. (Despite them not being together anymore since I was around 8-9ish)
My dad taught me how to interact with, understand, and respect both the world and myself. My mom taught me how to treat people. And they both taught me faith. Between the two of them they taught me everything in my life that’s really worth knowing and I an eternally grateful to them for that.
I grew up with a father who struggled with addiction throughout my childhood and then wasn’t in my life from middle school on. My heart was hardened towards him for a very long time. But my relationship with Jesus taught me what selfless love and true forgiveness even when we don’t deserve it looks like. And I wanted to give that to my father. I figured- if I didn’t first know the kind of love that Jesus showed me, I wouldn’t know how to love either. So I wanted to show my father the love of Christ. I let him walk me down the isle at my wedding (alongside of my grandpa who was my father figure), I told him how much he meant to me, I made an effort to reach out even when he wouldn’t, and this past year I told him he would be a grandfather. He was so proud and told all of his friends at work. He isn’t drinking anymore and although we don’t talk all the time quite yet, he has started reaching out and wanting to come see me and my son. True love is self sacrificing and true forgiveness can he given to those who don’t deserve it. That’s what Christ has taught me. And I’ve seen the transforming power of Christ’s love in both me and now I see it working in my father. All of this to say- forgive the person that made you feel abandoned or alone. It was so freeing to forgive my dad even if he never acknowledged he did anything wrong. It’s hard but through Christ it is possible. I went from a hardened, depressed girl who was seeking validation in men that she never got from her father to a woman of God who is married to a good man and raising a child that gets to grow up with two loving parents and now his grandfather as well. 🤍🥹
Can we also talk about absent mothers?? Especially for daughters.. very detrimental and it also ties into the way women are starting to act. Not nurturing, only fans type behavior, we need our moms too 😢
Maybe because absent mother are very rare? I never heard of anyone around me growning up with a absent mother, that is very rare.
@@larissagomes451 most foster children I've met would say otherwise but that could just be my experience
@@larissagomes451 stupid comment. My mom was absent bc she was an addict and it’s has really effected me today. I know quite a few people with absent mothers.
My mother was “absent” but she was too busy working multiple jobs and paying the bills cause my dad couldn’t bother to be around LOL. I don’t blame her.
@@KelseashellSo she either chose a chad to breed with, had a child he didn't want to have, or drove him off.
yikes.
My father taught me that I was worth loving and never to settle for being treated as less than I am. He taught me that a man can provide for and protect his family, but also be loving and gentle. He taught me that even after a long day, he would make time for me and I did the same for my kids. He taught me to use tools and camp and start a fire, but also to find a man who wanted to do that for me. He taught me that our job in the world is to help people less fortunate than we are and to make our communities better. He taught me that no matter what, we love our children and make sure they know they will always be loved. I was in my 30s and he still hugged me and kissed me and told me how much I meant to him. He's been gone for over 10 years now and I miss him every single day.
For the rest of my life I will teach young men to never get married, never have children because it's not worth it. My case proves that.
@@PeterNolan-009 mate you need to stop spamming this. It's a you problem, I'm not telling you to get over it, but your being a bad influence on others right now who have fathers or relatives that will give them advice for this when it comes.
@@dragonsman4733 For the rest of my life I will teach young men to never get married and never have children because it's not worth it. Period.
@@CameraGuy2000 Yes, fathers should disown any child where their right to raise the child as they see fit is violated.
@@PeterNolan-009 ironic using a female created word to end a sentence about men against women. Your not helping your case here.
My dad and I have become a lot closer since my mom died last August, though we've always been pretty close. He was the person that I went to when I needed advice about something or help with a project. We worked on a lot of projects together when I was younger, and he has taught me some very valuable things, as a father who had great integrity, work ethic, and strong walk with God. I couldn't have asked for a better dad!
this is part of why I'm so happy my parents are still together and happily so. my dad was gone a lot of my childhood (until was around twelve) in the military and the military reserves, and currently travels a lot for his current job. both of my parents have equally shared responsibility in raising me and my brother, and it's crazy realising our experience and that of several of our close friends is so different than a lot of other people's in their twenties (me) and late teens (my brother). seeing this from the other end of the spectrum, too, with one of my close friends having issues with the father of her children, it bothers me so much when people act like fathers don't matter.
I had a rough couple of weeks, but this video made me grateful to have a great dad. We talk every day, and he has been a significant part of my education and career (even now in my mid-20s). He is not just a wonderful father, but also an amazing husband to my mom. I am going to message him right now ❤
My parents stayed together until I was 18, then split. But dad stayed in my life and my mother was the abusive parent. I miss my dad, he’s been gone since 2016. And I married someone like my dad and 37 years, 5 kids, 10 grandkids and we are still together. Fathers are extremely important.
My father is absolutely amazing! I’m so grateful to have him in my life. It’s funny that your ad was for stamps, my dad is a retired postal employee 😂
Brett's shock at the hypothesis behind the decline in crime surprised me as it's been around a while. "Freakonomics" (The Hidden side of everything) is a quick read that's worth the time of reading.
The decline in crime might have a correlation with the rise in abortion in the 70’s , but having lived during this time, fatherlessness was identified in the 80’s as the cause behavior issues. There was a great push to mitigate this trend and include fathers and male role models into at-risk youths. Also, Curtis Silwa created the Guardian Angels which had an impact on inner city crime in NYC.
@@jamielynnwallace1125 you would be surprised at how many problems can be solved if you feed children properly prepared home cooking.
public education exacerbates every problem we have in society. (it was designed that way). home school your kids.
Dear boys. Andrew Tate is a bad example.
Correct but so are all the woke numpties and almost all left leaning females on social media - it really does push more people towards the right politically when those on the left are so off key to the point of utter stupidity and nobody on the left challenges the more extreme stupidity from the left. As someone on the right politically I don’t want anything to do with the extreme right and am happy to say so publicly but I rarely if ever see a moderate lefty objecting to the extreme left
Agreed
@@LaceCoveredSkies😊
Men have a specific brand of wisdom, and stability, and perspective on life that is totally unique from women. Women, no matter how well meaning, can never replicate that especially for their male children. Watching my husband parent our children in his own way for the past 8 years has only made me realize how invaluable men are in their kids lives. I, as a mom, bring what I bring to the table, and he brings something totally different. You need both halves to make the whole. Fatherless children are missing half of their hearts and their brains. It's really heartbreaking to see it every day.
I'm 39 and I just lost my dad to cancer. He was amazing and throughout the process of getting together with family and friends and his memorial and all that, I had a number of people tell me how envious they are that I was lucky enough to have a wonderful father. Even my husband, who never knew his dad, said if he could've had a dad he would've wanted one like mine. Though I've lost my very beloved father, I am incredibly grateful to have had him.
Thank you for sharing about your dad something similar happened to me. I am also 39 and lost my dad to cancer 6 months ago. He was an amazing Dad and I am so grateful for the time God gave us my dad!
@@valevelarde Thank you for sharing, too! It's hard to not dwell on not even being 40 and having to live the rest of my life without him. I wish you strength and healing, friend. We're so lucky to have had our wonderful dads.
My dad has never been very connected to any of us, he is an alcoholic but they didn’t divorce. He was definitely a negative influence. But fathers in my opinion as a woman are very important because every time I didn’t feel loved by my dad no matter how much anyone else loved me I didn’t feel loved by anyone because it was his love that I was working for that I was longing for.
Absentee father’s definitely deplete a child’s confidence and self worth. Good men are a necessity but unfortunately a rarity.
Good men are not a rarity. Theyre in every women's friendzone and not the men women choose to have kids with.
@@loganblackwood2922 I don’t think that’s necessarily true. And I’m definitely not saying that good men don’t exist because they do and I’ve met them. I tend to see my version of good men in 80 year old men 😂 so that’s unfortunate.
I think men and women both have reason to be angry with each other, because there are definitely sluty women who use men purely for their own gain. And there is also an abundance of men who are ultra controlling or ultra lazy.
As far as who women have babies with I think that’s determined by who their father is not completely obviously, like for example I’m a virgin and plan to stay that way until marriage.
But there’s also a lot of women who have been so hurt by their dads that they’ll do anything for any man who says that loves her.
It’s all very complicated and circumstantial.
I'm 32 and I had my father for brief amounts of time. Rather than summarize what happened, I'll share this. My grandmother gave me a great piece of advice when I asked her where my dad was. She said "I'll tell you when you get older. Right now, pick role models, and choose good traits from then to take on while shunning the bad." I took that to heart, and now it's a habit to have good role models that don't realize that's what they are to me, choose good traits and take them on. I'm a new dad, and I'm going to be the father I wish I had growing up.
I miss my dad so much... I wish I could talk to him right now. He gave me helpful advice when I needed it.
I adore my dad. I know no matter where he is or what he’s doing he’ll drop anything for me. After I had my first child and had some complications after delivery and my husband had to go back to work a few days after I had our son, he took a week off work just to take care of me and his new grandson. I only remember him ever “yelling” (and by yelling I mean emphatically speaking to me in a stern tone of voice) at me once when I ran out of gas in a sketchy part of town and he had to come pick me up when I was 19. I have never had less than a quarter tank of gas in my car since. He’s the best person I know. I’m so proud to be his daughter.
I have no idea how I’d do this without my most lovely husband. Life is so hard alone
It's not as hard as you think
I don’t live my dad anymore but we talk every day. He’s my financial advisor, my mechanic, my counselor, etc. I’m so blessed to have the dad I have i wish more people had the dad that I have.
and MOTHERLESSNESS!!! Parents drop their kids off at school then spend 3 or 4 more hours at a daycare with a bunch of strangers. When the kids are home, they're parked in front of a screen. So sad.
why would parents dropping off kids only qualify as motherlessness? Would that not count as parentlessness? 🤔
my dad left when i was 18 and i have spent a lot of time since working thru my ‘daddy issues’. it definitely feels like i have a dad who i see monthly and call a couple times a week - which i am grateful for - but not an actual masculine leader parent who is involved in the family. also it leaves me as the eldest to be my mum’s rock who she offloads to
Omg, this video is making me cry. I've always been grateful for my dad. But watching this makes me appreciate him even more.
My father became disabled in his late 30s. He had to quit his job and made many sacrifices for my family. My father was and is a stay at home dad. As he got better, he opened a window cleaning business but was still always home and there for me and my siblings. My mom was the breadwinner, which you rarely see, but I feel like everyone should experience having a stay at home father.
My dad was a good dad. Had some anger issues that he finally was able to work out, that I unfortunately learned from him but he truly impacted my choice in a husband. Both the good qualities to look for and the bad qualities to avoid. My husband is so happy to be a father and my son’s relationship with him and myself makes every day worthwhile
I had a dad. Manipulative, condescending, and a sociopath at best. For 19 years, I would have to go every summer for six weeks and spend all of my summer childhood at his home. It was awful. He would only be nice with me when it would look good on him he never hit me, but he never was there for me emotionally. After 19 years of trying to be close to him, I finally gave up. I no longer have any contact with him and I have since changed my number so he can longer contact me. I had to go to therapy for the ptsd he caused and now after 5 years I can say I am so happy not to have him in my life. Last words he spoke to were “no offense, but I wish you were never born.” Same to you Don, same to you
Don't make babies if you don't want to be a dad. I'm living by that rule right now.
As a kid, I HATED my dad forcing me to lay carpets, flooring ect, (fixing the home) as an homeowner, I realised how disadvantaged most of my friends are,
the crazy thing about all of this is that it’s not even just in america. i live in brazil and here it’s just the same… we’re walking towards the same path as the us and as a 20yo is honestly just sad to see how my generation is shaping up to be
My dad was present... but he wasn't very attentive. When he wasn't working, he was doing drugs, chasing girls, or passed out somewhere. He was a pretty good example of what not to do (and my mom was even worse). They've both matured a lot since then and they're better now... but the damage was done. I was a pretty messed up kid.
Thankfully, I developed a crush on my 7th grade history teacher. He was a respectable man of God, loved reading, was always kind and encouraging, and intensely devoted to his wife, to the point that he actually yelled at a couple of students who tried to impugn her honor. I thought "If I ever get married, I want a man like THAT."
And I found one. I'm glad my boys (and soon-coming daughter) will never have to deal with what I did growing up. They'll have 2 parents who love Jesus, love each other, and love them. The cycle ends with us.
Finally…everyone always blames the mother. Now they are recognizing the father factor. Really??! Now they are copping on…by a system that has allowed fathers to check out in whatever way
The system has forced men away, not allowed. The government is willing to give money to single mothers rather than to help families stay together. It’s more profitable to have multiple fathers of children than to have one caring father
I had a stepdad for 17 years of my life, and I owe a lot of who I am to him. He spent time with me and taught me a lot of valuable lessons while juggling his work, time with my mom, and his family. He was a fun dad who made jokes and made my mom and I laugh in more ways than one and he would really drill me with life lessons and tell me to always take care of my mom and the women in my life. I loved him dearly and want to be like him and it was all because of him
I have the most amazing dad in the world, second only to my husband. I am so grateful to have had such a good example of what a man should be, what a father should be, and what a life partner should be. I wouldn’t be half the women I am today if it wasn’t for my father! ❤
For the rest of my life I will teach young men to never get married, never have children because it's not worth it. My case proves that.
@@PeterNolan-009 Thanks for sharing, that’s rather nice.
My old man was my entire world. He did everything in his power to lift us up out of the hood and make sure we had a good life. When he passed, a big part of me died with him.
Growing up, I knew so many people without a dad or that had one that was either abusive or running the streets. Seeing what I had at home with my dad, and seeing what they didn't always broke my heart, but it allowed me to appreciate the old man even more.
I’m glad you pointed out the role feminism and women in the working world played into the problem of requiring a duel income household.
It seems like most people haven’t thought about that facet playing a role into degenerating our society.
Duel income households are so much more common than dual income households, sadly.
Feminism saved women
@@wyleecoyotee4252at first, debatable. By now, it ruined life for us
@@beans4853
For us ? Who is us?
Feminism provided women with basic human rights and autonomy.
It provided women with the freedom to live life on their own terms.
Many women have aspirations far beyond being wives and mothers.
Women are no longer funneled into a life of servitude.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 serving bosses is every bit as much servitude. And much less fulfilling than serving those you love. Now most women actually have no choice but to go out and work just to make ends meet. Even those who do want to be homemakers can't. It definitely ruined it for many if not most women. For some, it takes a little longer to realize it
I am 27 years old. My parents separated when I was 10. I got taken from my biological mother at 12. Got adopted at 14( i was molested by my adoptive father when i was 15-17) got kick out at 17 because I told the sherriff department about my adoptive father but adoptive choose to believe him. I live with a couple from church until i was 22, they told me i was like their daughter but slowly I saw they were using me. I had to block everyone. I am planning to go to couples counseling and go to a counseling by myself. Not having a father and not seeing a healthy marriage cause me to have marital problems. Not the end of the world if you don't have a dad but if you need counseling go get it. Having a son, i see he definitely need a mom and dad. I am trying my best to see he has a healthy childhood.
true privilege in 2024 is growing up in a household with both hetero-sexual parents who love eachother and know their role in the household.
I am so thankful my dad was in my life and still is. He provided structure in my life and set an example of the type of man I deserve as a husband.
Men you will be the first man your daughter will ever love. Do you best to set an example of the type of man she deserves.
Well...men are also no longer want to be or interested in be a father , mostly of men 18-30 are single and not interested in relationships
Why do you think that is?
No women are not interested in relationships leaving yall single and not by choice
The fact that working people are constantly expected to work harder and longer without any significant raise in pay is just setting us up to have the horrible work culture of Japan and South Korea. These places have men and women pushed so hard to work and is causing a crisis of loneliness which then leads into less births. Maybe these companies should pay their employees more fairly or just tell their employees they can work less since the company can afford to lose a bit, after all in exchange their employees are happier and can work on their own personal lives now.
I grew up with just my dad, my mom passed away when I was young, and my dad stepped up to the plate. He is my hero! He taught me to love God, to love others, to work hard, be kind and honest, how to cook, and so much more. He is the happiest person I know despite the hand he was dealt in life, which has been tough. It’s not easy raising two kids on your own. I definitely got lucky and love my dad so much!
In Mexico feminists and the left wing goverment wanted to cancel Father's day, it did not go well
My dad was in my home but not in my life. My mom was basically a single parent because my dad did nothing for anyone but himself. I have no tangible relationship with my dad and he made things hard for our family.
This is so true though. My father is one of the biggest figures in my life. I rely on him for protection and affirmation, and as a woman, that's important. I would much rather get that in love and sincerity from him than in greed and lust from someone else, simply to feed my brokenness!
im 13 and I have a good dad and im very greatful for him. he works a lot but when hes off he still spends time with us and he is funny but when hes upset hes very serious, when im older and have kids i want them to have a good dad too
I teach my father how to update his apps on his smartphone and he taught me how to be a decent human being
Love this comment.
My Dad left when I was a baby. Good thing too, he wasn't a nice person. However, growing up I always felt this hole as soon as I knew how babies were made. Questions started swirling round in my head "why did he leave?" "Is it my fault?" "Did I break my parents up?" And so on. But, I am so thankful that I had my Grandad. He passed away 10 years ago in March and before he could teach me somethings because I was just a couple of years too young. But through a large portion of the chaos I went through where people may not have and didn't believe me, he did. He also kept it to himself if he felt it necessary, but also would fight for me when I didn't know. A decade without him hurts, but I feel like I am on a more even playing field because I had him. Looking at my Grandparents love showed me how to love a partner and still be your own person in a relationship. I am one of the lucky fatherless adults because I had him, even if it doesn't feel like we had him long enough.
To add a bit of history for this segment; the subtraction of men in the household really took off during the LBJ administration. That administration allowed for and encouraged women to become single parents, as it gave them more government funds with more children and the stipulation was that there could not be another provider. Now this is not blaming women at all that is not the point of this. But rather stating what the foundation was. Then you add an ideology, contemporary feminism, that is "blame all men for the wrongs in society" and you have created an epidemic of fatherless homes that only leads to higher rates of crime and depression just to name a few consequences of that.
You are absolutely correct. And then tell the woman that the only way she can get a "raise" is by having another child.
Recipe for disaster.
Say it with your chest. The government and single moms are the biggest leaders of fatherlessness
My papa was a tiger/helicopter parent for the longest time he was there through everything and I fought him relentlessly growing up because I felt he didn’t listen to me or understood my point of view didn’t speak for a good year at one point but it took me until I was 21 to finally understand what he was trying to do. Like I love my father so much had he not been in my life I would’ve been a monster and I was already a sweet nightmare as a child. I’m working really hard to make him understand that i appreciate everything he did
Thank you Brett for bringing this up. I am so sick of this being overlooked. This is the #1 pandemic in this country. I am so proud to be a father. I cannot think of my life without my angels. It makes me sick the fathers who walk away. But it makes me more disgusting how we are also attacked by the courts, judges, lawyers, and law makers. I am so sick of the discrimination and how they think we are nothing but ATMs and visitors. And then, don't get me started on the dead beat mothers who alienate the children from the father. Of course, claiming child abuse. When in reality, most of it is, 'if he does not want to be with me, then he won't be with the kids.' Then the, 'I have a right to abort my child because I cannot financially support it. So, then your ok if a father aborts his obligation? No. He better pay.' Double standard makes me sick. You should never leave your child and not take care of them. But if your going to allow mothers to murder their obligation, a father has a right to do so as well.
Remember fellas. Don't get married. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. My case proved that.
I call it the true silent epidemic because fathers are forced to shut up about it. Case in point, Kash Jackson...his judge pushed and pushed and pushed, then punished Kash for speaking out. God forbid a father being dragged through hell have a reaction to the abuse he and his children are wrongfully being put through. He is still sitting in prison for speaking out.
Also, the majority of fathers don't choose to "walk away". They are forced. You can only fight for so long before you are completely in debt and being forced to pay to attorney and court fees of the person you are fighting against on top of support taken out of every paycheck, the child's custodial parent gets some and whatever state is taking the money gets some too. (Most people don't realize the states financially benefit from child support...weird, I thought that $ was suppose to be for the child.)
@@MaraJadeSkky I could not have said it any better. Men are automatically up against a wall before they even enter the court room. I have been there. I have heard every single excuse why women should have automatic custody and why fathers should beg on all fours just to get a couple weekends. It is truly disgusting. Yes, most men are forced to accept what a judge gives them. I can testify to that. I fought and fought and fought. Now they won't even let me file a motion unless I pay the GAL nearly $5,000 for doing nearly nothing for me and spending that time doing things the mother asked. But because it is 50/50, I have to pay her to do what the mother asked. It is disgusting. I do have full custody of my oldest son. And yet, when I proved that point, the judge said, 'they are two different cases.' I said, but the principle is not. He just shrugged his shoulders. Because when you prove them wrong, they have no answer or try to shut you up. It is ALL about pleasing women. There is an agenda.
I listen to the conversations my kids have with my husband. I am always processing their feelings with them. He cares for their feelings but his approach is pragmatic. They come to their own answers because of his approach to their questions. It’s really nice to see them reason it out because he listens and responds but doesn’t work everything out for them they rise to his expectation to figure it out for themselves.
Everyday I have to remind myself to thank God that I have fatherpower, my biological dad, not just in my home but as a pillar in my life. I have to remind myself that I am already starting off life far ahead mentally and emotionally more prepared and stable than my someone as simple as my neighbor or first cousin. I am extremely grateful that my father is not only in my life but my parents are still married and still have given me an amazing foundation that I hope to give my future daughter.
Just turned 35, and my parents have been married since '76. My foundation was rock solid, and it was so apparently different from all of my friends when I was growing up that it made me look at the differences in outcomes. I was loved and safe and knew my place, and I got to experience the balance that comes from having two loving parents (homosexual unions with adoption do not count). Had I not had that blessing in my life, I shudder to think the kind of person I would have become had I not had such strong, wholesome examples. They gave me a standard to aspire to, and they're still my heroes. I appreciate people my age making the sacrifices for their kids to give them the kind of leg up I had.
I was never allowed to watch "family guy" or "the Simpsons" because they had useless, deadbeat dads. My mum and dad are best friends, and my dad is a mild-mannered, kind and works extremely hard to provide for his family and help us in any and all ways. My mother and I have a frought relationship most of the time but I have never had that sort of thing with my dad..... also if girls have a strong connection relationship with their dads they physically go thru puberty later than those without, and girls with a stable dad even have later age at menarche, which held true for me ,(for me if held tru, I didn't get mine till I was 14!).
Me neither. I always attribute the state of things right now to shows like the Simpsons because like it or not, they changed the culture and for the worse. They gave a free pass to denigrate all parts of society. And the rest of us are just supposed to enjoy it and laugh. It's twisted, actually.
I'm 19 and I've always been a daddies girl. Everyday I'm grateful for my dad, he's the best man I know and has shown me what a good godly man is like. I know so many young women who fall into horrible relationships because they never had a good father in their home. The day I lose him is going to be a very sad one.
My father is everything to me, he has always been there for me when I have needed him. No matter what my struggle, he has been there. I am grateful for him and I hope my children (age 4 and 2) will be able to see me like I see him as they grow up.
For the rest of my life I will teach young men to never get married, never have children because it's not worth it. My case proves that.
I’m sending this to my dad and telling him “thank you” ❤️
Brett read the book Freakonomics. It does not support abortion but simply points out the statistical correlation between increased abortions and a drop in crime. Babies born into difficult environments have higher propensity for crime and if there never born there is no crime to commit.
I can say that in my own personal experience, myself and other men/fathers I know, some women are doing all they can to keep us away from our children. Some men are weak. I will say that. They aren’t willing to fight for their kids. But I get how hard the legal battle is. How the stress kills you inside. I’ve been through it. I fought for my kids. I’ve always been active father. She cheated and wanted to replace me. During my divorce I’d go weeks without seeing my kids. With no court order at the time, I couldn’t do anything about it. It was up to her to let me have them with an “emergency custody injunction”. Our legal system is messed up and needs to be reformed. It took 3 years (how long my divorce took during Covid). For me to get 5050 custody of my kids. I had to spend almost $40k just have my rights as a father. And just because the divorce is over, doesn’t mean I don’t still have to deal with her garbage. I can see why men walk away. Not saying it’s right but I can empathize with those men.
Brett is good at finding a way to advertise without any obstacles... flowless
I am very thankful for my dad. When I was younger, I wasn’t as close to him as my mom, but he was always there for me. He works full-time, providing the money so that we can survive. His daily routine consists of waking up at five every morning, going to work, coming home after four, and either going to work outside or relaxing.
After the pandemic I became a lot closer with my dad, and after I moved out, I really miss him all the time and am always so excited to see him on weekends at church. He has made me who I am, and I think I’m able to survive on my own because of him.
One of my fondest memories is when a door was slammed on my finger so that the nail was almost off. My dad took my hand gently and just ripped the nail off to get it over with quickly. I don’t remember what happened after, but later I fell asleep on his lap and woke up when my mom brought us eggnog.
I am very thankful that I had both of my parents around.
Facts now how do we get our dads to stop abandoning our families - sincerely a woman whose dad left and ghosted me for 10 years
You can't stop someone from being a coward. One day (one life) they will likely learn.
First, establish some sort of legal consequences for adultery, even if it's just loss of marriage benefits.
Second, replace the Edmunds Act and the Morril-Act with a law that puts polygamists under harsher scrutiny instead of sending them to jail for five years if they live with more than one wife (if we can't get wandering men to stop practicing plurality, at least make it possible for them to commit in theur plurality). And punish secret polygamy harshly (marrying and extra partner without ever telling your spouse is legally just adultery with extra steps)
Third, remove the welfare state that subsidizes single motherhood.
And lastly, to bonus objectives that are pie in the sky:
A: get people to stop worshipping the dollar, striving for profits instead of wealth. (This will free up time for parenting as wealth snowballs for all instead of being siphoned off by malicious powers)
B: break the stranglehold that transgressivism has on pornographic content. Allow such wild media to feature love and parenthood instead of lust and infidelity or selfishness. I don't know how they do it, but they keep all depiction of happily married couples locked down, hidden away, or cringey and indistinguishable from porn stars banging because it is so lustful
(I'm not saying porn is good or moral, I'm saying it is artificially being kept extra bad.)
Oh, and C: teach kids in "health class" about the neurological impact of sexual pleasure (it is powered by "trust neurohormones") , they should understand why it is the most addictive thing, and how that can be helpful in marriage, and harmful out of it.
Sorry for the long comment. But it's a complex issue.
Maybe make it against the law to cheat across the US? A high number of men leave because they do that, and get no consequences for it. and maybe blocking influencers like fresh and fit/Andrew Tate that encourage them to do that on all platforms would be better for a healthier society.
@@dragonsman4733Would not to much. You just don't get married, or you divorce, or you cheat anyway and are still not present in the child's life and now have legal problems.
My parents divorced when I was around 7-8 (it was a long process) and when they officially divorced, my mom took my sister and me to a different state. Not because my father was dangerous, but because she saw we had more opportunities in the other state (aligning with our religion). My father still keeps in touch with us, and we visit him at least 2-3 times a year (during the summer, for 6 weeks). I still admire my father greatly, he works hard for his new wife and stepson and is a great father and advisor. He is a stable terminal for when I need advice on situations that he isn't greatly affected by. He works two jobs, works every day of the week (even the weekends) and he owns a business (one of the jobs he works). He's very hands-on when he does have my sister and me to hang out with, and makes sure he finds some sort of fun thing for us to do all together as a family.
Yes, he isn't completely in my life and I don't always have immediate access to him, but he still makes sure he's able to hang out with me when he is with me.
I’m a woman in America and used to have a good dad until my mom passed away. I’ve been in intensive therapy and I’m relying on my faith because God is the only good father I have and my grandpa is a great father figure in my life. I needed a father growing up. I love men and I appreciate them.
You laydees attacked us Melanie. Now we are going to fight back.
Remember fellas. Don't get married. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. My case proved that.
My father was the KINDEST man I ever knew. My brother is also very kind. He might not have always known what to say to connect with me, but he always tried. He helped other people when they needed help, he gave away things the could've gotten money for just to "be a blessing to someone." If someone he was talking to said they were sick, he would grab their hand and ask to pray with them, didn't matter if it was in the middle of a store or in private. My mom had a temper and he was good at coaxing her and calming her down. He said something that my aunt (mom's sister) took as offense and became majorly angry about, even though it wasn't in any way how he meant it. He apologized even though he'd done nothing wrong. He said that his relationship with her was worth more than being right in that moment. He could fix anything. Gerry-rig just about anything to make something easier or work better. I'm single at 40 years old and I believe it's because my dad set a standard for men that is almost impossible to find. He passed away in 2015 and we miss him every day.
When I was 24, I confronted my father about molesting me as a tween because it always bothered me as to why. When I did, he denied it and said to never speak to him again. This was 15 years ago. Relationship just poof* gone, when he could of just apologized and helped me understand.
Now Im left wondering why...two fold.
Sending you love and respect.
as sad as it is to say, people never wanna talk about what theyre not proud of. ive always wondered why my mother left us, even though the whole family keeps that more of a secret than epstein's list. all im trying to say is you shouldnt let the lack of closure get the best of you, especially when these monsters never wanna fix anything. im so sorry about what you went through and hope you heal from that
Do you think this may have contributed to why you became sexual active early and ended up a single mother?
@@jaketheripper721My mother denied all of the abuse she subjected us to and gaslit us until the day she died. Bad people do bad things and either pretend they're entitled to do bad things, or that they never did them at all.
My dad is such an important part of why I’m the person I am today. When I was a kid, he really believed in me and made sure that I was capable without codling me. He expected me to help with the house and farm. And when I was able to do those tasks, that gave me confidence and proved through action that he was right and I was capable. He set me up for things that were hard but that he knew I could do. THAT is the kind of self esteem building that builds character I think.
We don’t always see eye to eye, but I’ve always known that he loves me and that he (and my mom) were a safety net that I could rely on if I fell.