Hii thanks for reading this in advance !! 🥰 I wanted to add a few more comments on this video: - I say “line edit” in the video, though I would say this video is not a true line edit. I mostly just wanted to show how the storytelling has changed with time and revisions. - In the old version, I heavily relied on looks. I described the client’s dress, the painting, but in v2, it’s not as focused on looks. In fact, Alora first notices how the client speaks. I think it’s common for new writers to emphasize looks because we might be looking at our scenes like a movie, but don’t forget about other senses! - Black midnight dress is redundant as black = midnight - In V2, there are more occurrences of 🩸 . Meaning that alora has bitten her lips or tongue so hard in frustration/dissastifcation that she’s bleeding. None of this is explicitly said. - V2 has a lot more subtext too. What alora is thinking vs what she is saying don’t match. Contradictions on what the character is saying vs what they are doing vs they are thinking = TENSION - I meant to say I wanted another word for fizziness :’) - If I were to edit this again, I’d make it so that there is NO challenge when it comes to selling art. I’d make it so that In fact, Alora kinda wishes she could get fired and live her life by the sea without all the political weight from working, and then, later inheriting the gallery. - I think it would be nice to also include the artist’s name (because human value is so important) in the third paragraph and more specificity on the kind of painting. Such as: “Oil on canvas, this painting illustrated by Thomas Peit at the age of 23 in the Year of the Rose, depicts a toddler cloaked in grey.”
It’s really interesting to see how you edit! The second draft is so much stronger and the scene itself is way more compelling. I love what’s there and also what isn’t. I love how you created subtext and rhythm in your prose. Please do more of these editing videos! Your writing is incredible! 😍🥰
Love your videos, and can I send you my short story so I can get your opinion of it? I promise you, it is so gripping and builds suspense just from 3 chapters
Great content, as always! A bit off-topic, but I wanted to ask: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?
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Hii thanks for reading this in advance !! 🥰 I wanted to add a few more comments on this video:
- I say “line edit” in the video, though I would say this video is not a true line edit. I mostly just wanted to show how the storytelling has changed with time and revisions.
- In the old version, I heavily relied on looks. I described the client’s dress, the painting, but in v2, it’s not as focused on looks. In fact, Alora first notices how the client speaks. I think it’s common for new writers to emphasize looks because we might be looking at our scenes like a movie, but don’t forget about other senses!
- Black midnight dress is redundant as black = midnight
- In V2, there are more occurrences of 🩸 . Meaning that alora has bitten her lips or tongue so hard in frustration/dissastifcation that she’s bleeding. None of this is explicitly said.
- V2 has a lot more subtext too. What alora is thinking vs what she is saying don’t match. Contradictions on what the character is saying vs what they are doing vs they are thinking = TENSION
- I meant to say I wanted another word for fizziness :’)
- If I were to edit this again, I’d make it so that there is NO challenge when it comes to selling art. I’d make it so that In fact, Alora kinda wishes she could get fired and live her life by the sea without all the political weight from working, and then, later inheriting the gallery.
- I think it would be nice to also include the artist’s name (because human value is so important) in the third paragraph and more specificity on the kind of painting. Such as: “Oil on canvas, this painting illustrated by Thomas Peit at the age of 23 in the Year of the Rose, depicts a toddler cloaked in grey.”
It’s really interesting to see how you edit! The second draft is so much stronger and the scene itself is way more compelling. I love what’s there and also what isn’t. I love how you created subtext and rhythm in your prose. Please do more of these editing videos! Your writing is incredible! 😍🥰
It's so interesting to see your process!
I LOVE editing videos !! 🫶
it's always interesting to see how other writers line edit, so thank you so much for sharing!! 🫶🏽
I love the way you edit! It’s very clean cut and your videos are always so high quality
thanks, Kelley! :DD
Love your videos, and can I send you my short story so I can get your opinion of it? I promise you, it is so gripping and builds suspense just from 3 chapters
Hi! Thanks for watching ☺️ For editing inquiries, please use the link in the description🙂↕️
Great content, as always! A bit off-topic, but I wanted to ask: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?