Guru Main Gunaahgaar Ati Bhaari - Soami Ji Maharaj - RSSB Shabad

These shabads are hymns or spiritual poems written by saints and mystics from different spiritual traditions of the Indian subcontinent. The shabads convey a deep message of truth and are sung with heartfelt devotion. They express the intense longing of the soul for union with the Lord. These songs of devotion are prayers that inspire the true seeker to turn inwards to contact the ultimate Truth - the inner divine music that reverberates within every being.
English Translation:
O Master, I am a terrible sinner -
lust, anger, deceit and craftiness are my allies.
While desiring praise and fame,
I have embraced greed, attachment, vanity and jealousy.
Addicted to hypocrisy and lies, lust and violence,
I have committed many sins.
Pain and dishonour I cannot bear;
pleasure and honour I crave.
I hunger for delectable delicacies;
my mind is obsessed with the flavours of the palate.
My mind is preoccupied with wealth and women
and filled with expectations of wife and sons.
This sinner has to undergo various miseries,
and even then he does not renounce his transgressions.
This wicked mind, the agent of Kal,
has become fearless and constantly deludes me.
When it suffers the blows of misfortune,
only then, out of fear, does it meditate.
Look at the grace and mercy of the Master -
he accepts even this meditation!
Intellectual cleverness, ostentatious display
and discussions of winning and losing keep me engaged.
I am boastful and lack inner love;
I have cheated innocent devotees.
Having subjugated many men and women,
I savour honour and applause.
Based partly in fear, my love for the Master
is merely a facade - at times it waxes, at times it wanes.
I cannot recount all my faults; my memory betrays me -
how many should I list?
I am a thief and a gossip, and am absorbed in sensual pleasure;
all my thoughts stem from self-interest.
Egoistic, cruel and conceited,
I have subjected many to humiliation.
Innumerable sins have I committed -
what can I say, there is no end to them!
O Master, have mercy on me now -
with what face can I implore you?
I have no faith or love,
but please redeem me somehow.
There is no one as devious as me in this world -
O Master, reform me now!
All my efforts are worthless; thoroughly defeated,
I have finally taken refuge in you.
But this surrender too is mere words -
real surrender is a formidable task.
Even my claim to have taken your refuge is not valid -
my words prove false even as I say them.
You alone know your splendour and magnitude -
save me, no matter what it entails.
I am ignoble, confounded by doubt
and unable to nurture deep love for your feet.
I am full of incurable maladies -
who except you can remove them?
Wondrous is your willingness to grant mercy and grace;
the moment you will it, you bestow liberation.
Again and again I beg you and offer my prayers.
I perceive no one other than you -
you are my sole protector.
I am bad, awfully bad and deplorable I remain;
regardless, I have come and fallen at your door.
Now my honour lies in your hands -
O Radha Soami, ferry me through my troubles.
This shabad is published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas.
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