The colour composition in this video is stunning - the shirt, the jewelery, the plants and lights, the gray wall... Not related to the topic, but I needed to say that.
yes!! as a girl who is attracted to masculinity but NOT men, the male gaze has made it so much harder to figure out what i liked. i thought i was asexual before even considering lesbianism as an option for me, as i had never been attracted to non-men the way the male gaze portrays attraction towards them
@@uweil918 i actually use non-men because i experience attraction to everyone BUT men :) in fact, my partner of almost two years is non-binary, so saying "attracted to women" would mean i wouldn't be inclusive to.... myself? if i only liked women i would've said women, and if i liked everyone but women i would've said non-women, etc. . it's just the most accurate way to describe myself. i think you make an interesting point that does apply to some cases, you should definitely explore it further! applying it to my personal case just makes you sound a bit terfy though. it's just a description, please don't try to define others peoples sexualities
@@uweil918 it bothers me too. I feel like as a nb afab person this is about "threat" and "non-threat", and I despise it. I am a non-woman, and I am a non-man. Why is the non-man part more important? "because you're afab and therefore not a threat uwu". I am normally not a vitriolic person and wouldn't hurt a fly, but this idiotic labeling gives me desires to become a supervillain and laugh in an accordingly condescending tone. Honey, the definition of "threat" from lesbian women to afab trans people, the disrespect and hornyness and disregard for how one defines themselves in anything but pronouns - "eh meh but you have a female booodddyyy" - that stuff is so lost on you all. I am sorry, but I had to say this. How many thinly veiled "u r so valid! Hot tits tho" TERFs hide behind the misandrist labeling of "non-men"?
its funny b/c i experience that in the inverse. I MYSELF only feel sexy in masculinity but because i'm really attracted to femininity and femmes I often dressed hetfem "sexy" to try to feel "sexy:. Then I threw out cute and sexy and just dressed femme to feel feminine and explore it's meaning for me. It was nice to find what femme felt like for me outside of male gaze. (God bless cottagecore lesbian aesthetics) And then I realized, I feel asexual when i'm dressed like that but when i'm dressed more masc I feel incredibly sexual. I started dressing more masc again and my poor wife. haha she is just getting *hunted* with my eyes (She's very happy with it tho very consual obviously).
So clear and on point as always! I'm 31 and as a teen I remember first realizing that my boobs were considered small by looking at VS catalogs. But they also introduced me to the "solution" of my problems: the push-up bra. I remember feeling so excited when I finally got one, and I would only feel pretty in clothes when I was wearing it. It's crazy to think I was only 14- 15 at the time, and suddenly one of my main concerns was whether my boobs looked sexy enough or not.
I thought my boobs were too small from middle school all the way through college. I am so grateful that I didn't have the means to do anything to "change" it. I only felt sexy while wearing push-up bras. In college I realized that most VS models were actually naturally A or B cups--they just used multiple cutlets under the bras to look bigger. *crack* The first little imperfection in the glass ceiling. Then after years of internal work & realizing how modeling works (the entire team--makeup, hair, lighting, post, etc), it finally came crashing down. Now I'm happy with my itty bitty titties and wouldn't change them for the world. (:
When yo talked about how the male gaze doesn't work for you in a sense that it doesn't make you attracted to those women, as a bi girl I reallt felt that and it made something click inside my head. If I think about it, I am rarely attracted to women in media or show business, and I always tried to understand why; I mean, I told myself they were not "my type" (and it is true, since I am usually more attracted to masculine women) but it always felt like there was something more and I missed it. What you said really does make sense.
What you said about not realizing your queerness by looking at vs models, because they're portrayed through the male gaze really clicked with me. I'm just (at 26) starting to figure out that my attraction for men and my attraction for women is completely different, but both there, in different ways. Which made me question my sexuality for such a long time. I don't look at women in a hyper sexual way (like a lot of cishet men do), because I know how awful it feels to be looked at like that. And because of that I felt like I couldn't call myself bisexual, because I thought I wasn't attracted to women, but there has definitely been something there for a long time. I'm so thankful for all the great queer voices online expressing how things are not as black and white as many seem to think.
The male gaze, for a long time, was my only connection with 'being a woman.' I'm non-binary, but it was hard to tell when I was young because I wanted what Victoria secret was selling. I was constantly rejected by my family and peers, and this mythical male gaze was the only thing advertised to me at the time that meant acceptance, adoration and love. When I realized this was comphet and inherently unfulfilling, I also realized that I wasn't a woman. Not identifying as a woman has loosened my ties to this feeling of desiring the male gaze, more so even (I think) than the fact that I'm a lesbian. Alternatively, I also get a weird gender dysphoria when I find myself craving it (which usually arises in cases where I've been rejected in some other aspect of my life).
Wait, so you realised you weren't a woman when you realised you didn't feel fulfilled under the male gaze? So your reaction to the male gaze defines your womanhood?
Your videos are always the best. As a 2000s kid, I barely got any exposure to victoria secret growing up (im Mexican) the only times I got to enter one of those stores was when my family and I took a road trip to Texas. I remember always entering those stores and being immediately hit by all this pictures of women (who at the time I thought were the same women because of how similar they all looked) and also this fake luxury vibe. On another note, that shirt
I was waiting like... Counting down the minutes. Many people say that I'm obsessed 🤣 but let's talk about THE shirt. Also, SO to the point... Thank you for being our voice 🌈
I really appreciate your point about being trained to view all women (then eventually yourself) through the male gaze. I never consumed VS ads or media directly but still feel the effects of the male gaze in this way; you explained it in a comprehensive and concise way
I remember being obsessed with the catalog. Feeling like I needed to look like that but also being really attracted to the models. I actually really loved their clothing lines. The best shoes I have ever owned and still going strong were from them and the best fitting ready-to wear suit I have ever bought. But I wasn't dressing for me quite yet. I would really have loved the representation we have today. It has taken me 20 years to start appreciating my body
As a woman, I was always indifferent to the male gaze version of what a desirable man should be too (hot muscular body, etc) and found myself preferring the more "feminine" men, those who dress smartly, seem to take care of their hygiene, have "soft" interests like reading and the arts and have higher emotional maturity and are generally more sensitive and "soft".
Well said sister. Male gaze is so deep rooted in womens minds that even knowing about it its so hard to abort this mindset of self objectification.. also the connection with the sexual orientation 👏 Love your content keep going!✨️
You look like a goddess in this outfit! And I totally agree, thanks for this insightful video. It has been bothering me for a while now, how inclusivity is just being used as a marketing tool.. and I do think it's a positive message, yet it still feels like a fake message because it does not have the actual intention of change, just the intention of monetary gain.
My problem with it mostly starts when a company decides to b e big about in a press statement. For instance, we had the National Railways in The Netherlands loudly announce how they were going to change their automatic announcements from "Ladies and gentlemen" to "Dear traveller" so people who might not adhere to either would also feel more welcome on their platforms/stations. The municipal transportation company of Amsterdam had been using that type of announcements for almost 10 years at that point and never made a very big deal about it, but now people were annoyed with the national railways (Ok, keyboard warriors probably, and just people who think that catering to a different group of people as well somehow means those people are gaining some imaginary new right that the people against it are now losing...but still, the loud announcement of it caused a loud response in return)
That is all so satisfying to hear someone unpack and finally address vs but why can't we have the same energy towards addressing kpop when the same issues are repackged and resold to young girls who will face the same problems growing up that we did thanks to victoria's secret? And it's a whole industry this time not just one company. Why are we so ready to buy into this again ignoring the consequences it will have on young people justlike our parents did in the 90's with us?
I don’t think the kpop industry is necessarily doing the same thing (objectification of women and presentation of them through the male gaze) but I do discuss a different type of consumer “manipulation” in my video about the music industry that I posted around two years ago
@@KristenLeo you don’t think representing only unhealthily thin women, force plastic surgery on them and upholding ‘virginity’ by forbidding them to have partners for the entirety of their young lives, presenting them as childlike and babylike and calling that an ‘idol’, is objectification? And full on male gaze marketing? When very much like vs only men are in power over those girls?
Kristen made a vid about black pink recently. I have to agree that having real people look and perform like perfect anime characters is pretty awful for young kids to see. I can see why virtual influencers are actually a thing now 😬 But most performers who don’t fit a perfect mould get torn to shreds possibly by the same insecure kids who stan these idols. Like jessy from little mix for years was hated on purely because she was an average size for a uk women (I know she’s heavy handed when it comes to the fake tan but that’s a different issue) Like do we want people who look like us or not?! Also corps dgaf about being inclusive, they just want people to feel included so they hand over their money too and the corporations give themselves a pat on the back in the form of more profits. Kristen has really hammered home to me to only buy stuff I actually need and keep stuff til it breaks. it makes me feel smug that I’m not giving my money to these nefarious companies.
@@GrungeGalactica Yes! I’ve gotten the same message and it does indeed feel nice to resist the urge to buy just because we are groomed to do so by companies that only see us as dollar signs! I saw the blackpink video and there was not even a mention of how all the work that we’ve been trying to do with inclusivity and feminism and awareness for eds is being thrown out the window with the entire kpop premise and how those bands like blackpink are aggressively marketed as literal idols for young girls.. i mean.. i listen to blackpink as well but let’s be honest here about what this really is.. we can like something and still be critical towards it.. kpop is the vs of today.
@@tablelamp801 kpop is the vs of today, yes. when i was a teenager i was more distant to kpop compared to my late childhood/early teenagehood and then, i surprisingly had a wonderful relationship w my body. only recently i went back to the kpop world lol and the way i see my body now is very different, i feel embarrassed by this, im not obsessed w my weight but frequently when i look at the mirror i do wish i was skinnier, with "better" skin, straighter hair, smaller nose, etc, so even as an adult now kpop still has some influence on my body image, with younger people i imagine this influence can have much worse effects
Loved your take on Savage x Fenty! Also, is it really body diversity when a large chunk of tit-havers is excluded? I just don’t think we should even utter the word inclusive for brands that don’t cater to bigger cup sizes 😭
spot on! it was actually so interesting because I remember having a crush on a VS model when I was younger but it never came through seeing them in these ads or photos or the vs show… I randomly watched a video interview with her and then got to know more about her and saw how cool she was as like….a full human being whereas the ads for VS made me feel nothing and if anything made me question if I was attracted to women because while the women were beautiful, it wasn’t really doing anything that I cared for and felt very fake.
Ugh my adolescent self still carrying so much trauma from coming of age during the 90s and 2000s. I love watching your videos and always having my mind twisted into a pretzel. I agree with your perspective on the current focus of people since the 2008 financial crisis, survival. Keep on making vids!
Since I discovered gender studies at uni (somewhat 9-10 years ago) and I learnt about male gaze, it is painful to me to watch movies, shows or ads that present women through the male gaze, it doesn't make me attracted to those women, it just makes me very uncomfortable. In recent years I realized that maybe I'm not 100% hetero as I thought, and I do have a lil crush on one female youtuber, but in a completely platonic way, I'm not interested in women sexually, but they just often (much more than men) amaze me with their sweetness, kindness, and general essence.
I think part of not being able to gauge sexuality by looking at VS models, too, is trying to tease out if you are actually attracted to them or just want to be them.
I often feel shame for being more feminine: liking pink, wanting to baby and nurture my pets, babies, and children, liking "overly feminine" pop music like Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, Ava Max, Bebe Rexha, etc. I feel a lot of pressure to be sexy and hyper feminine looking, but not have the interests that come with it for fear of being labelled a "white girl" or just being put down. I feel like my personality and interests have to be masculine, while my body and face must be feminine and sexy. I also feel pressure from women I'm romantically interested in to dress more masculine or have more masculine interests for fear of being brushed off as "too femme" or "faking my interest in women" and that's it's just some kind of "faze" I'm going through. I also feel pressure from society to dress less feminine because I won't be viewed as "progressive" or "up to date". In the end I'm left feeling very confused. I think I tend to dress more feminine, and like some very feminine things, but I also am very messy, love to swear, burp, fart, love weapons, love handy man projects, I walk around the house and look like shit, I'm often a sweaty gross mess at home, I don't shave for days, and I never wear a bra at home...and it's not pretty, it's quite the opposite of sexy. I guess I have all the unwanted traits of "masculinity" and "femininity".
Your deconstruction of your own sexuality vs male/female gaze is very interesting and relatable, Id absolutely love to see a whole video on that and how it relates to homoerotic material for guys while totally ignoring the female gaze within heteronormative media space
I love your commentary videos, right now I was listening and cleaning a pomegranate haha. It feels like a time well spent, you kind of tap back into reality and educate yourself. A lot of times it just seems easier to disregard the harsh truth about many wrongdoings that are happening all around us.
Another excellent video, Kristen. Just wanted to add, that I really appreciated how you asked the question, what do women really want and simultaneously there is the VS-ad „What‘s your fantasy?“ (at 7:45) running. And I think you‘re up to sth with your theory about the 2008 financial crisis. Thank you for the amazing input! ❤
I think it all ties into brands wanting to appear human. It is very similar to the weird Twitter discourse that companies like Wendy's or Macdonald's do or at least used to.
I second that I hope your channel never dies. Every time a video of yours pops up on my feed I click on it so fast like no other videos. Love you, Kristen! ❤
Kristen, I love what you do. 5 years ago a friend of mine sent me one of your videos and it changed the way I view this world forever. Been a huge fan since that day. Thank you so much! ❤
I remember being obsessed with the catalog too and the Pink stores. I could never afford it really until my mid twenties thankfully. But, they definitely sell a feeling. The underwear really isn't that well made any more and the bras are so uncomfortable in all reality, but you feel sexy wearing them regardless. it's kind of wild.
The part about economical crisis and - connected to it - shift in narrative was brilliant. I was to young then to be able to observe it myself therefore it becomes even more important to know this. Thank you for all your work
I was about 19-20 when it started, and some people have said that it was about that time "the market" as a whole derailed itself to the point at which we are now witnessing the ever increasing results of it. A good description of it that I tend to give it is this: Companies don't want more profit, they want all profit. Companies don't want competition, they want to destroy all of it. Companies stopped caring about capitalism as long as they benefit of it, but if another company becomes successful of it, they are shamed by the biggest competitor for "abusing the system". To me, some of the things we are witnessing now is one of the best examples with which we can say that the idea of "the market should control itself, it's good for competition" has failed spectacularly bad: the market continues to show that they can't handle that responsibility, and that some of the biggest companies should really be asked to give some sort of explanation as to why they think they should still be worthy of our trust in them as a customer, whether we are receiving a service from them that we pay for or not. Honestly, I can only say that I'm almost glad that you were to young: finding a job suuuuucked at that time, because companies were basically only firing people...
The theory is reality, never thought about it that way. Thank you for the new perspective on 'inclusive' brands...... that's really quite dark when you think about it. Keep up the good work. Will share the video on instagram! Love from Bonn, Germany
I thought your theory for why women may discover they’re gay later in life than men normally do was really profound and definitely resonated with me as accurate. I don’t really have anything great to say, just commenting to comment. Great video, thank you 🧡
Please make a video about women utilizing the male gaze on their own art/creations! Particularly when showcasing their own bodies on social media. I live in a very transient city, and I am part of online groups where women will post pictures of themselves along with descriptions where they list hobbies in the hopes of making friends -- but the pictures of themselves are often very cis straight male gaze-y. Given their aim to make friends, it has started to make me wonder if many women only/primarily see themselves through that lens.
I just discovered your channel in my recommended and I am so glad I did. I am in my mid-forties. The male gaze was hammered into my consciousness since birth. I am just now coming into myself and realizing who I really am and what I really want. I realize now that I have always been attracted to women, but I spent a lifetime ignoring it by objectifying myself more to attract the male gaze because that is what I was indoctrinated to do. I am much happier now living my truth and letting go of all that I was brought up to believe. Finding your channel is helping me to solidify this and has opened my eyes to other topics as well.
I used to use the VS shows and later even their "swim" behind the scenes videos as fitspo. I'd watch them on the treadmill or first thing when I wake up to encourage myself to work out and while I truly believed it's a good thing that motivates me to be "healthy" it took me years to realise I wasn't priorotizing my health and wellbeing at all, but doing the exact opposite. In one of the "Swim" videos I remember one of the models saying that she exercises as much as she does because she doesn't want to be "hiding, trting to hide" (her body) when at the beach, and that felt motivational to me at the time only to now realize how fucked that is, not only to say, as a famous model that many influenciable teens and young adults are inspired by, but also just generally, as if she'd have anything to be ashamed of in terms of her body if she worked out less- that the viewer would have reason to be ashamed unless they workout out for three hours every single day. I now realize how much of "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" vibes it gives.
A RUclipsr (I forgot who it was) once made a remark about fitness (it took me a reaaaaally long time to get what "fitspo" was supposed to mean, but that could be because I hate gyms or the equipment in them) in which he or she said: "When you approach sport/working out with the attitude that it makes you feel good about yourself and want to be healthy, that is what I like to hear. If you approach sport/working out because you want to be skinny, I have a problem with that, because it emphasizes that somehow skinny is always better..." That simple difference in wording really made me think, even though high school taught me how to hate fitness. We had one or 2 months of lessons with the theme of strength-exercise and were sent to a gym for those lessons, and while it might be different today, at the time (2001-2002) most of the devices were not build to accommodate short people, so with some of the seats and bars adjusted to their absolute minimum I still couldn't reach them. That, along with the possibility that the form on which we had to record our progress might not have been taking biological diversity in mind and next to ignoring body types/composition assumed all boys would have hit puberty at the time, caused me to lose weight (not much, half a kilo, but still) instead of gaining muscles. My gymnastics teacher was quick to shoot my results down arguing that I probably weighed myself wrong when she saw the results :| ... (Up to this day, I wonder if the girls got a different form, by the way)
This is Deep, the good deep. When you said that the needs went into a survival mood I just realized how true this is. (For me of cause) and the needing validation from the corporation... That is the scariest true crime story I've heard
i really like the way you always tackle corporations, especially what u preferred to discuss like fashion industry, to what they really intended, not what they showed us. also, yes, i walked around a mall with VS store in it, and they still hasn't changed the vision of their 'inclusive' lingeries lol. thank u for bringing this up, Kristen! also, i shared this with my group chat obv~
With you sharing your story about some core memory coming up, going crazy over wanting to own VS items as a teenager etc. I relived those memories for myself, crazy how under their spell we as teenage girls were
ταυτιστηκα πολύ με τη ταση να ακολουθουμε τις φαντασιωσεις των ανδρων λες και αν τα καταφερω και εχω σχεση με εναν ανδρα λυνονται ολα τα προβληματα και τελος μαγικά τα εχω καταφερει κοινωνικα, επιτελους ειμαι αποδεκτη απο ολους και απο μενα. δεν εχω απελυεθερωθει ακομη και ξερω οτι εχει μελλον, και το προσπαθω καθημερινα με πολλους τροπους, και ειμαι σιγουρη πως κιαλλες γυναικες και ανδρες ( με τις αντιστοιχες γυναικειες φαντασιωσεις) το προσπαθουν. πολυ ωραιο βιντεο κριστεν! λαμπερη ομορφη και διαβασμενη οπως παντα! :) keep up!
Love the video, and 100% agree with your points. I'm still trying to learn how to value myself and see myself as attractive outside of the male gaze. It's tough. Thank you for all you do, Kristen!
Yes, I agree totally with you, I grew up in the 90s and now in my 30s figured out how I was trying to please the male gaze and how I don't have to do it and how that doesn't devalue me. Looking back how girls I looked at on tv and magazines were portrayed is crazy. Also when women say that they look hyper feminine for their own pleasure a part of me doesn't by it, yeah, do what you want but you don't look like "normal" woman would, you don't look like yourself.
I haven't ever commented before, but I've been watching your videos for years now. I love how thoughtful and articulate in your thoughts you are, and I always learn something new. Thank you for this channel, and for reminding me to be more mindful, especially around fashion and clothes.
i'm commentiiiiiiing love this vid, thank u so much for being so true and realistic, to share with us those thoughts that are exactly what we feel but we can't say out loud because we don't know how
I recommended your channel to everyone i knew who were interested in either social analysis or fashion. I absolutely love your development. You're peobably the first person that ever got me interested in fashion and its history and you really helped me dwell on the cookie cutter aesthetics and its roots in fascism and repression. I really love your work and i hope you are aware of the huge amazing impact you have around you and in the world. Love you♥!
Great delve into the male gaze! It honestly still plagues most media, and since becoming aware of it it's really hard for me to watch things, it really bothers me. I definitely agree with your conclusion about them going for a "being seen" by a corporation vibe, which is super gross too.
as someone who didn’t realize they were aroace until recently and growing up in a place where the vs fashion was kinda a big deal i had no idea about the multitude of labels in the queer community and always assumed that i was in a “more focused on my grades” phase. but as soon as i got into university i was like why am i not growing out of this “phase”. it wasn’t till quarantine when i started learning more about the queer community that i realize that romantic/sexual relationships did interest me and had never thought about anyone in that way.
If We would have had you before, so many teenagers (myself include), would have had such different perspectives, just another option. Many of the choices I made when I was a teen, including the toxic relationship I was in, we’re based on trying to achieve male approval. Oh how different would life have been! So happy to feel the change for younger generations ❤ thanks to safe spaces like this one you created 🥳🥰 thank you!
Love the focus on the sites of production. That aside, this video is also just beautifully composed, and there's something about the quality of the light that makes everything look like a dream in the best way.
honestly as a plus sized queer woman who grew up in the early 2000s this whole "change" was deeply insulting, like no you do not get to turn around and pretend you care about literally anything but your bottom line, you are still operating in the same environmentally destructive and exploitative way you always were, you're still bowing to the wishes of rich (almost exclusively white, cishet and male) shareholders, and you're still airbrushing the carefully curated small selection of the population you've deemed beautiful enough to be in your ads. you haven't remotely changed, and i'm not gonna forget that when you still aren't selling bras in my band size 🙄 thank you for a wonderful video as ever!!
Supportive commenter here! But also what you said and your analysis connecting to the financial crisis is really insightful. After the crisis around 2008 the hopes to create the (Christian-morals influenced) "nuclear family" was ultimately shattered. The hopes of providing for your family, having a fairly paid full-time job and affordable living standards died. After that the explosion of millennials and now gen z who have an ideology only based on individualism is striking. The corporations now, who are profiting from this individual based cynicism is sad, and 2015 and the "girlboss era" is also an example of this. This economic collapse created a youth that will walk over dead bodies for their own success . Unfortunately this individualism seems to have grown during the pandemic which resulted in populist right-wing borderline fascists politics as well as these corporations tapping into this sentiment. Great thought-provoking video! Thank you 💝
you are so incredibly intelligent, I’m only 14 but these kinds of conversations are the only thing that can beat my attention span ty so much for this gift my love
Every time I see Kristen has uploaded I immeadiatly click on the video. You always have very surprising and new takes on issues that I have not really considered. Even if I disagree sometimes it is so refreshing to watch!
I was so obsessed with vs shows back in the day, and I always said it was the costumes and wings, but deep down I knew I just wanted to be those girls so bad, celebrated, beautiful face, perfect body, perfect life. -btw only commenting to help you Kristen, I love your work, what you do is so important, to have voices like yours on this platform, so keep doing it pls -lil vegan environmentalist witch, and your viewer for years now, from not so far Hungary
I'm just so surprised your channel doesn't get more traction. You are one of the only RUclipsrs I consistently watch and learn from. I am adding this comment here to boost your channel and throwing it to the RUclips algorithm gods. Sending you much love Kristen. ❤
All I have to say is: Remove advertising from your life as much as possible. Everybody’s trying to sell you happiness and it can’t be bought Thanks for being such a good role model for women
Thank you for articulating the icky feeling I get when seeing these add campaigns. You flawlessly exposed something that has been bothering me for so long that I couldn't quite explain. As always, your content is profound, thought provoking, and an educational treasure!!!
There's this tiktok video that I lost (I almost don't use tiktok so I don't know if I can recover it somehow) where the girl says something like "am I bi or am I just scared of letting go of the idea of the male gaze as a validation because I don't know what to put in its place after a lifetime of looking at myself through it?" and that spoke to me big time. As women we are sort of taught (I'm from 93, I was definitely taught that) that our value is not only in working but also in finding a male partner and reproducing. Nothing against that if that's your thing, but that's a narrow view of happiness - I used to call that 'the happiness package'. I even had the exact same conversation with my mom that happened in that movie with America Ferrera, 'Real Women Have Curves' (I know, the title, I know), where my mom said she could be fat because she's married but I, as a single woman, couldn't afford the luxury, leaving it heavily implied that I had to be thin to catch a man and then I could let go. It's still really hard to separate what the culture says I should find attractive, what I really find attractive, and what from the culture I don't mind finding attractive. Victoria Secret was one of the reasons I became anorexic at 11. In the end I wasn't even fat (not that there is any problem with being fat, mind you), I was swollen from a bowel inflammatory disease, so no diet actually worked (doctor-given or otherwise), not even starving myself. Victoria Secret was in big part the reason why I thought I wasn't lovable, because to be lovable I would have to look like one of the models and I just couldn't, not without being born again. It ran so deep that I equated male approval with love. This still haunts me.
Yeah it is like the companies are saying ‘we see you. You matter too in this world.’ Only because now not being inclusive has financial consequences. But everyone always mattered. And how fucked up is it that you would buy from a brand who didn’t acknowledge you first but now only acknowledges you bc of monetary gains. To be honest that sounds like a manipulative narcissist who you wanna stay far away from.
your comment about not realizing you were gay as a kid going through lingerie ads because it was solely through the male gaze. wow. something clicked, I feel like that’s DEFINITELY why it took me so long
Not being attracted to women that are represented through the male gaze and that representation resulting in comphet is so true. Thank you for saying this.
Thank you for bringing this to the attention of so many people across the internet. I knew only a minuscule part of all of this and because of you I've learned so much today. Thank you for all that you do. You're beautiful. 🧡
love your point abt not being attracted to those sexualized ads of women, this made me question for sooo long if i was actually bi! turns out i just never liked the male gaze-iness of it... amazing video as always, kristen! xx
The intro should not be forgotten! I love it. Thanks for the video and going back into the field of political activism. It suits you well! Hope you are doing well
first of all, WOW this whole look 🤌🏾 chef's kiss. i had to pause the video when you were talking about how afab people are conditioned from such a young age to be desired over being encouraged to have a free, authentic relationship with our own desire. being queer as well, i'm still on that journey ❤
It’s almost 1am and my brain is barely functioning, so I don’t have anything to add but Kristen said to comment so here I am :) I think there might be something to the last point it makes me think of that thing where like a guy will say the right things publicly not even advocating for a marginalised group just being normal and inclusive-ish and then he’s seen as this sweetheart or something. I think we feel reassured and comforted by the idea that there are some « good ones » out there, and maybe because by seeking that comfort we end up giving too much credit to those men or corporations. I don’t know. No one will read this probably and that might be for the best. But it’s engagement!
Commenting just because you asked us to LOL but honestly, great video. It's nice to watch someone bring up great points to sticking to my values of not being an over consumer. Thank you!
I found extremely interesting your point about male gaze and woman desire, it's so deeply ingraned in our brain from such a young age that our desire is secondary if not non existent, that understanding what you like or who you like is a revolutionary act.
Oh boy, I was just getting very into it and then video was ovuurrr. Super interesting though, this concept!! ( women being subconsciously trained now to seek validation from companies, instead of men... sad and disappointing but another call to truly find and build our sense of Self as a female identifying/woman in dis culture ) love you and happy you're back 💜🌻🍁🧙♀️
PS; I personally fount Victoria Secret products and later on also their models (becauze .. hello unapproachability and loveless exclusivity... ) pretty boring
Me: [already tattooing a screenshot from the intro on my body] Kristin: “Let’s just pretend that intro never happened” Me: [discreetly puts down tattoo gun]
As a lesbian, it was very confusing to me as a child to be bombarded by images of women that I was told I needed to look like, but was also attracted to (as my type mostly seems to be fem women). This complicated things for me while figuring out my sexuality bc I told myself “oh just want to be her, I’m not attracted to her”. The moment that realised this was bullshit was when I became more sure of myself and I learned to differentiate between insecurity and actual attraction. On another note, I really appreciate all the insightful content that you make for us (for free!). 💕
I have Victoria Secret bras that are in perfect condition and I still wear from 2012 they have kept the same shape through all these years it's incredible
Kristen, you’re the reason I learned about fast fashion, over consumption, and performative inclusivity. What you do here is so important.
🥹💜
I had na one and a half no buy year after watching her videos about fast fashion and it changed my life 😊💚
Same
@@ninacu7996 fantastic!
same, I've been watching her for like five years now and I can't express the positive change this channel had on me! ❤️
"Let's not mistake change for evolution and improvement" that hit hard
The colour composition in this video is stunning - the shirt, the jewelery, the plants and lights, the gray wall... Not related to the topic, but I needed to say that.
🥰🥰🥰 thank you!!
i know--she always gets it right!
What do you mean by color compression and is there a video to show how to do it well? I agree that it's stunning!
yes!! as a girl who is attracted to masculinity but NOT men, the male gaze has made it so much harder to figure out what i liked. i thought i was asexual before even considering lesbianism as an option for me, as i had never been attracted to non-men the way the male gaze portrays attraction towards them
Same 🥲
I love how you say "non-men", but don't use "non-women". Woke ppl defining humans based on their relation to maleness!
@@uweil918 i actually use non-men because i experience attraction to everyone BUT men :) in fact, my partner of almost two years is non-binary, so saying "attracted to women" would mean i wouldn't be inclusive to.... myself? if i only liked women i would've said women, and if i liked everyone but women i would've said non-women, etc. . it's just the most accurate way to describe myself. i think you make an interesting point that does apply to some cases, you should definitely explore it further! applying it to my personal case just makes you sound a bit terfy though. it's just a description, please don't try to define others peoples sexualities
@@uweil918 it bothers me too. I feel like as a nb afab person this is about "threat" and "non-threat", and I despise it. I am a non-woman, and I am a non-man. Why is the non-man part more important? "because you're afab and therefore not a threat uwu". I am normally not a vitriolic person and wouldn't hurt a fly, but this idiotic labeling gives me desires to become a supervillain and laugh in an accordingly condescending tone. Honey, the definition of "threat" from lesbian women to afab trans people, the disrespect and hornyness and disregard for how one defines themselves in anything but pronouns - "eh meh but you have a female booodddyyy" - that stuff is so lost on you all. I am sorry, but I had to say this. How many thinly veiled "u r so valid! Hot tits tho" TERFs hide behind the misandrist labeling of "non-men"?
its funny b/c i experience that in the inverse. I MYSELF only feel sexy in masculinity but because i'm really attracted to femininity and femmes I often dressed hetfem "sexy" to try to feel "sexy:. Then I threw out cute and sexy and just dressed femme to feel feminine and explore it's meaning for me. It was nice to find what femme felt like for me outside of male gaze. (God bless cottagecore lesbian aesthetics) And then I realized, I feel asexual when i'm dressed like that but when i'm dressed more masc I feel incredibly sexual. I started dressing more masc again and my poor wife. haha she is just getting *hunted* with my eyes (She's very happy with it tho very consual obviously).
Thank you for speaking about the trauma we all experienced watching these "perfect" women being celebrated for walking around in uncomfortable lingere
So clear and on point as always! I'm 31 and as a teen I remember first realizing that my boobs were considered small by looking at VS catalogs. But they also introduced me to the "solution" of my problems: the push-up bra. I remember feeling so excited when I finally got one, and I would only feel pretty in clothes when I was wearing it. It's crazy to think I was only 14- 15 at the time, and suddenly one of my main concerns was whether my boobs looked sexy enough or not.
I thought my boobs were too small from middle school all the way through college. I am so grateful that I didn't have the means to do anything to "change" it. I only felt sexy while wearing push-up bras. In college I realized that most VS models were actually naturally A or B cups--they just used multiple cutlets under the bras to look bigger. *crack* The first little imperfection in the glass ceiling. Then after years of internal work & realizing how modeling works (the entire team--makeup, hair, lighting, post, etc), it finally came crashing down. Now I'm happy with my itty bitty titties and wouldn't change them for the world. (:
When yo talked about how the male gaze doesn't work for you in a sense that it doesn't make you attracted to those women, as a bi girl I reallt felt that and it made something click inside my head. If I think about it, I am rarely attracted to women in media or show business, and I always tried to understand why; I mean, I told myself they were not "my type" (and it is true, since I am usually more attracted to masculine women) but it always felt like there was something more and I missed it. What you said really does make sense.
What you said about not realizing your queerness by looking at vs models, because they're portrayed through the male gaze really clicked with me. I'm just (at 26) starting to figure out that my attraction for men and my attraction for women is completely different, but both there, in different ways. Which made me question my sexuality for such a long time. I don't look at women in a hyper sexual way (like a lot of cishet men do), because I know how awful it feels to be looked at like that. And because of that I felt like I couldn't call myself bisexual, because I thought I wasn't attracted to women, but there has definitely been something there for a long time.
I'm so thankful for all the great queer voices online expressing how things are not as black and white as many seem to think.
The male gaze, for a long time, was my only connection with 'being a woman.' I'm non-binary, but it was hard to tell when I was young because I wanted what Victoria secret was selling. I was constantly rejected by my family and peers, and this mythical male gaze was the only thing advertised to me at the time that meant acceptance, adoration and love. When I realized this was comphet and inherently unfulfilling, I also realized that I wasn't a woman. Not identifying as a woman has loosened my ties to this feeling of desiring the male gaze, more so even (I think) than the fact that I'm a lesbian. Alternatively, I also get a weird gender dysphoria when I find myself craving it (which usually arises in cases where I've been rejected in some other aspect of my life).
So happy you’re overcoming all this bs and finding yourself 💜
Wait, so you realised you weren't a woman when you realised you didn't feel fulfilled under the male gaze? So your reaction to the male gaze defines your womanhood?
well, what are you then?
@@PBndJ “I’m non binary” your reading comprehension needs some work.
Is to be a woman to desire male gaze? Because I do not.
Your videos are always the best. As a 2000s kid, I barely got any exposure to victoria secret growing up (im Mexican) the only times I got to enter one of those stores was when my family and I took a road trip to Texas. I remember always entering those stores and being immediately hit by all this pictures of women (who at the time I thought were the same women because of how similar they all looked) and also this fake luxury vibe.
On another note, that shirt
I love the fact that models look so much alike, especially at the time, that you thought it was only one person it's so funny and also logical !!
I was waiting like... Counting down the minutes. Many people say that I'm obsessed 🤣 but let's talk about THE shirt. Also, SO to the point... Thank you for being our voice 🌈
☺️💜🌈
"Let's not mistake change for evolution and improvement" just spitting bars over here 🔥
💅💅💅
I really appreciate your point about being trained to view all women (then eventually yourself) through the male gaze. I never consumed VS ads or media directly but still feel the effects of the male gaze in this way; you explained it in a comprehensive and concise way
I remember being obsessed with the catalog. Feeling like I needed to look like that but also being really attracted to the models. I actually really loved their clothing lines. The best shoes I have ever owned and still going strong were from them and the best fitting ready-to wear suit I have ever bought. But I wasn't dressing for me quite yet. I would really have loved the representation we have today. It has taken me 20 years to start appreciating my body
As a woman, I was always indifferent to the male gaze version of what a desirable man should be too (hot muscular body, etc) and found myself preferring the more "feminine" men, those who dress smartly, seem to take care of their hygiene, have "soft" interests like reading and the arts and have higher emotional maturity and are generally more sensitive and "soft".
Well said sister. Male gaze is so deep rooted in womens minds that even knowing about it its so hard to abort this mindset of self objectification.. also the connection with the sexual orientation 👏
Love your content keep going!✨️
You look like a goddess in this outfit!
And I totally agree, thanks for this insightful video. It has been bothering me for a while now, how inclusivity is just being used as a marketing tool.. and I do think it's a positive message, yet it still feels like a fake message because it does not have the actual intention of change, just the intention of monetary gain.
My problem with it mostly starts when a company decides to b e big about in a press statement. For instance, we had the National Railways in The Netherlands loudly announce how they were going to change their automatic announcements from "Ladies and gentlemen" to "Dear traveller" so people who might not adhere to either would also feel more welcome on their platforms/stations.
The municipal transportation company of Amsterdam had been using that type of announcements for almost 10 years at that point and never made a very big deal about it, but now people were annoyed with the national railways (Ok, keyboard warriors probably, and just people who think that catering to a different group of people as well somehow means those people are gaining some imaginary new right that the people against it are now losing...but still, the loud announcement of it caused a loud response in return)
That is all so satisfying to hear someone unpack and finally address vs but why can't we have the same energy towards addressing kpop when the same issues are repackged and resold to young girls who will face the same problems growing up that we did thanks to victoria's secret? And it's a whole industry this time not just one company. Why are we so ready to buy into this again ignoring the consequences it will have on young people justlike our parents did in the 90's with us?
I don’t think the kpop industry is necessarily doing the same thing (objectification of women and presentation of them through the male gaze) but I do discuss a different type of consumer “manipulation” in my video about the music industry that I posted around two years ago
@@KristenLeo you don’t think representing only unhealthily thin women, force plastic surgery on them and upholding ‘virginity’ by forbidding them to have partners for the entirety of their young lives, presenting them as childlike and babylike and calling that an ‘idol’, is objectification? And full on male gaze marketing? When very much like vs only men are in power over those girls?
Kristen made a vid about black pink recently. I have to agree that having real people look and perform like perfect anime characters is pretty awful for young kids to see. I can see why virtual influencers are actually a thing now 😬 But most performers who don’t fit a perfect mould get torn to shreds possibly by the same insecure kids who stan these idols. Like jessy from little mix for years was hated on purely because she was an average size for a uk women (I know she’s heavy handed when it comes to the fake tan but that’s a different issue) Like do we want people who look like us or not?! Also corps dgaf about being inclusive, they just want people to feel included so they hand over their money too and the corporations give themselves a pat on the back in the form of more profits. Kristen has really hammered home to me to only buy stuff I actually need and keep stuff til it breaks. it makes me feel smug that I’m not giving my money to these nefarious companies.
@@GrungeGalactica Yes! I’ve gotten the same message and it does indeed feel nice to resist the urge to buy just because we are groomed to do so by companies that only see us as dollar signs! I saw the blackpink video and there was not even a mention of how all the work that we’ve been trying to do with inclusivity and feminism and awareness for eds is being thrown out the window with the entire kpop premise and how those bands like blackpink are aggressively marketed as literal idols for young girls.. i mean.. i listen to blackpink as well but let’s be honest here about what this really is.. we can like something and still be critical towards it.. kpop is the vs of today.
@@tablelamp801 kpop is the vs of today, yes. when i was a teenager i was more distant to kpop compared to my late childhood/early teenagehood and then, i surprisingly had a wonderful relationship w my body. only recently i went back to the kpop world lol and the way i see my body now is very different, i feel embarrassed by this, im not obsessed w my weight but frequently when i look at the mirror i do wish i was skinnier, with "better" skin, straighter hair, smaller nose, etc, so even as an adult now kpop still has some influence on my body image, with younger people i imagine this influence can have much worse effects
Loved your take on Savage x Fenty! Also, is it really body diversity when a large chunk of tit-havers is excluded? I just don’t think we should even utter the word inclusive for brands that don’t cater to bigger cup sizes 😭
spot on! it was actually so interesting because I remember having a crush on a VS model when I was younger but it never came through seeing them in these ads or photos or the vs show… I randomly watched a video interview with her and then got to know more about her and saw how cool she was as like….a full human being whereas the ads for VS made me feel nothing and if anything made me question if I was attracted to women because while the women were beautiful, it wasn’t really doing anything that I cared for and felt very fake.
Ugh my adolescent self still carrying so much trauma from coming of age during the 90s and 2000s. I love watching your videos and always having my mind twisted into a pretzel.
I agree with your perspective on the current focus of people since the 2008 financial crisis, survival. Keep on making vids!
Since I discovered gender studies at uni (somewhat 9-10 years ago) and I learnt about male gaze, it is painful to me to watch movies, shows or ads that present women through the male gaze, it doesn't make me attracted to those women, it just makes me very uncomfortable. In recent years I realized that maybe I'm not 100% hetero as I thought, and I do have a lil crush on one female youtuber, but in a completely platonic way, I'm not interested in women sexually, but they just often (much more than men) amaze me with their sweetness, kindness, and general essence.
It’s crazy how good and aesthetic and educational literally ALL of your videos are :O
that intro gave me enough serotonin to fuel my week, thank you
i sincerely hope your channel never dies, i absolutely adore your content
I think part of not being able to gauge sexuality by looking at VS models, too, is trying to tease out if you are actually attracted to them or just want to be them.
Needed my monthly dose of hating on consumerism and reminder to not make it a personality trait !!
Love the effort and research you always put into your videos! ✨
Also the outfit?!🥰
I often feel shame for being more feminine: liking pink, wanting to baby and nurture my pets, babies, and children, liking "overly feminine" pop music like Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, Ava Max, Bebe Rexha, etc. I feel a lot of pressure to be sexy and hyper feminine looking, but not have the interests that come with it for fear of being labelled a "white girl" or just being put down. I feel like my personality and interests have to be masculine, while my body and face must be feminine and sexy.
I also feel pressure from women I'm romantically interested in to dress more masculine or have more masculine interests for fear of being brushed off as "too femme" or "faking my interest in women" and that's it's just some kind of "faze" I'm going through.
I also feel pressure from society to dress less feminine because I won't be viewed as "progressive" or "up to date".
In the end I'm left feeling very confused. I think I tend to dress more feminine, and like some very feminine things, but I also am very messy, love to swear, burp, fart, love weapons, love handy man projects, I walk around the house and look like shit, I'm often a sweaty gross mess at home, I don't shave for days, and I never wear a bra at home...and it's not pretty, it's quite the opposite of sexy.
I guess I have all the unwanted traits of "masculinity" and "femininity".
Your deconstruction of your own sexuality vs male/female gaze is very interesting and relatable, Id absolutely love to see a whole video on that and how it relates to homoerotic material for guys while totally ignoring the female gaze within heteronormative media space
I’m genuinely so glad I found your channel 🫶🏼
🥹🤍
I love your commentary videos, right now I was listening and cleaning a pomegranate haha. It feels like a time well spent, you kind of tap back into reality and educate yourself. A lot of times it just seems easier to disregard the harsh truth about many wrongdoings that are happening all around us.
I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT AT THE INTRO- also I have to say you look like a Goddess in this outfit
Another excellent video, Kristen. Just wanted to add, that I really appreciated how you asked the question, what do women really want and simultaneously there is the VS-ad „What‘s your fantasy?“ (at 7:45) running. And I think you‘re up to sth with your theory about the 2008 financial crisis. Thank you for the amazing input! ❤
Thank you! 💗 It’s funny that the ad asked that but the question was directed towards the male viewers for their Christmas shopping 💀
I think it all ties into brands wanting to appear human. It is very similar to the weird Twitter discourse that companies like Wendy's or Macdonald's do or at least used to.
I second that I hope your channel never dies. Every time a video of yours pops up on my feed I click on it so fast like no other videos. Love you, Kristen! ❤
Kristen, I love what you do. 5 years ago a friend of mine sent me one of your videos and it changed the way I view this world forever. Been a huge fan since that day. Thank you so much! ❤
Love the video as always, they help to articulate and make me feel a little less alone in my thoughts.
I remember being obsessed with the catalog too and the Pink stores. I could never afford it really until my mid twenties thankfully. But, they definitely sell a feeling. The underwear really isn't that well made any more and the bras are so uncomfortable in all reality, but you feel sexy wearing them regardless. it's kind of wild.
VS bras do have an iconic unique shape.
The part about economical crisis and - connected to it - shift in narrative was brilliant. I was to young then to be able to observe it myself therefore it becomes even more important to know this. Thank you for all your work
I was about 19-20 when it started, and some people have said that it was about that time "the market" as a whole derailed itself to the point at which we are now witnessing the ever increasing results of it.
A good description of it that I tend to give it is this: Companies don't want more profit, they want all profit. Companies don't want competition, they want to destroy all of it.
Companies stopped caring about capitalism as long as they benefit of it, but if another company becomes successful of it, they are shamed by the biggest competitor for "abusing the system".
To me, some of the things we are witnessing now is one of the best examples with which we can say that the idea of "the market should control itself, it's good for competition" has failed spectacularly bad: the market continues to show that they can't handle that responsibility, and that some of the biggest companies should really be asked to give some sort of explanation as to why they think they should still be worthy of our trust in them as a customer, whether we are receiving a service from them that we pay for or not.
Honestly, I can only say that I'm almost glad that you were to young: finding a job suuuuucked at that time, because companies were basically only firing people...
Super informative and helpful. Need to watch more of content now. Thank you.
The theory is reality, never thought about it that way. Thank you for the new perspective on 'inclusive' brands...... that's really quite dark when you think about it. Keep up the good work. Will share the video on instagram! Love from Bonn, Germany
😘😘😘 thank you!!
Kristen is my favourite part of every week 🥰 a great song related to this is 'Victoria's Secret' by Jax which is my go to on a bad body image day!
this is the most beautiful setup with the camera and the lights and you i have ever seen from you 🥺👉👈
I thought your theory for why women may discover they’re gay later in life than men normally do was really profound and definitely resonated with me as accurate. I don’t really have anything great to say, just commenting to comment. Great video, thank you 🧡
Well fudge. This is the first video of yours I’ve seen, and I’m hooked.
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Please make a video about women utilizing the male gaze on their own art/creations! Particularly when showcasing their own bodies on social media. I live in a very transient city, and I am part of online groups where women will post pictures of themselves along with descriptions where they list hobbies in the hopes of making friends -- but the pictures of themselves are often very cis straight male gaze-y. Given their aim to make friends, it has started to make me wonder if many women only/primarily see themselves through that lens.
I just discovered your channel in my recommended and I am so glad I did. I am in my mid-forties. The male gaze was hammered into my consciousness since birth. I am just now coming into myself and realizing who I really am and what I really want. I realize now that I have always been attracted to women, but I spent a lifetime ignoring it by objectifying myself more to attract the male gaze because that is what I was indoctrinated to do. I am much happier now living my truth and letting go of all that I was brought up to believe. Finding your channel is helping me to solidify this and has opened my eyes to other topics as well.
I can't believe that everytime I watch a video of yours my perspective changes and it makes me see things plainer. Amazing job!!
I used to use the VS shows and later even their "swim" behind the scenes videos as fitspo. I'd watch them on the treadmill or first thing when I wake up to encourage myself to work out and while I truly believed it's a good thing that motivates me to be "healthy" it took me years to realise I wasn't priorotizing my health and wellbeing at all, but doing the exact opposite.
In one of the "Swim" videos I remember one of the models saying that she exercises as much as she does because she doesn't want to be "hiding, trting to hide" (her body) when at the beach, and that felt motivational to me at the time only to now realize how fucked that is, not only to say, as a famous model that many influenciable teens and young adults are inspired by, but also just generally, as if she'd have anything to be ashamed of in terms of her body if she worked out less- that the viewer would have reason to be ashamed unless they workout out for three hours every single day.
I now realize how much of "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" vibes it gives.
A RUclipsr (I forgot who it was) once made a remark about fitness (it took me a reaaaaally long time to get what "fitspo" was supposed to mean, but that could be because I hate gyms or the equipment in them) in which he or she said: "When you approach sport/working out with the attitude that it makes you feel good about yourself and want to be healthy, that is what I like to hear. If you approach sport/working out because you want to be skinny, I have a problem with that, because it emphasizes that somehow skinny is always better..."
That simple difference in wording really made me think, even though high school taught me how to hate fitness.
We had one or 2 months of lessons with the theme of strength-exercise and were sent to a gym for those lessons, and while it might be different today, at the time (2001-2002) most of the devices were not build to accommodate short people, so with some of the seats and bars adjusted to their absolute minimum I still couldn't reach them.
That, along with the possibility that the form on which we had to record our progress might not have been taking biological diversity in mind and next to ignoring body types/composition assumed all boys would have hit puberty at the time, caused me to lose weight (not much, half a kilo, but still) instead of gaining muscles.
My gymnastics teacher was quick to shoot my results down arguing that I probably weighed myself wrong when she saw the results :| ...
(Up to this day, I wonder if the girls got a different form, by the way)
This is Deep, the good deep. When you said that the needs went into a survival mood I just realized how true this is. (For me of cause) and the needing validation from the corporation... That is the scariest true crime story I've heard
i really like the way you always tackle corporations, especially what u preferred to discuss like fashion industry, to what they really intended, not what they showed us. also, yes, i walked around a mall with VS store in it, and they still hasn't changed the vision of their 'inclusive' lingeries lol. thank u for bringing this up, Kristen! also, i shared this with my group chat obv~
With you sharing your story about some core memory coming up, going crazy over wanting to own VS items as a teenager etc. I relived those memories for myself, crazy how under their spell we as teenage girls were
ταυτιστηκα πολύ με τη ταση να ακολουθουμε τις φαντασιωσεις των ανδρων λες και αν τα καταφερω και εχω σχεση με εναν ανδρα λυνονται ολα τα προβληματα και τελος μαγικά τα εχω καταφερει κοινωνικα, επιτελους ειμαι αποδεκτη απο ολους και απο μενα.
δεν εχω απελυεθερωθει ακομη και ξερω οτι εχει μελλον, και το προσπαθω καθημερινα με πολλους τροπους, και ειμαι σιγουρη πως κιαλλες γυναικες και ανδρες ( με τις αντιστοιχες γυναικειες φαντασιωσεις) το προσπαθουν.
πολυ ωραιο βιντεο κριστεν! λαμπερη ομορφη και διαβασμενη οπως παντα! :) keep up!
Love the video, and 100% agree with your points. I'm still trying to learn how to value myself and see myself as attractive outside of the male gaze. It's tough. Thank you for all you do, Kristen!
Yes, I agree totally with you, I grew up in the 90s and now in my 30s figured out how I was trying to please the male gaze and how I don't have to do it and how that doesn't devalue me. Looking back how girls I looked at on tv and magazines were portrayed is crazy. Also when women say that they look hyper feminine for their own pleasure a part of me doesn't by it, yeah, do what you want but you don't look like "normal" woman would, you don't look like yourself.
I haven't ever commented before, but I've been watching your videos for years now. I love how thoughtful and articulate in your thoughts you are, and I always learn something new.
Thank you for this channel, and for reminding me to be more mindful, especially around fashion and clothes.
i'm commentiiiiiiing
love this vid, thank u so much for being so true and realistic, to share with us those thoughts that are exactly what we feel but we can't say out loud because we don't know how
I recommended your channel to everyone i knew who were interested in either social analysis or fashion. I absolutely love your development. You're peobably the first person that ever got me interested in fashion and its history and you really helped me dwell on the cookie cutter aesthetics and its roots in fascism and repression. I really love your work and i hope you are aware of the huge amazing impact you have around you and in the world. Love you♥!
Great delve into the male gaze! It honestly still plagues most media, and since becoming aware of it it's really hard for me to watch things, it really bothers me. I definitely agree with your conclusion about them going for a "being seen" by a corporation vibe, which is super gross too.
as someone who didn’t realize they were aroace until recently and growing up in a place where the vs fashion was kinda a big deal i had no idea about the multitude of labels in the queer community and always assumed that i was in a “more focused on my grades” phase. but as soon as i got into university i was like why am i not growing out of this “phase”. it wasn’t till quarantine when i started learning more about the queer community that i realize that romantic/sexual relationships did interest me and had never thought about anyone in that way.
If We would have had you before, so many teenagers (myself include), would have had such different perspectives, just another option. Many of the choices I made when I was a teen, including the toxic relationship I was in, we’re based on trying to achieve male approval. Oh how different would life have been! So happy to feel the change for younger generations ❤ thanks to safe spaces like this one you created 🥳🥰 thank you!
Love the focus on the sites of production. That aside, this video is also just beautifully composed, and there's something about the quality of the light that makes everything look like a dream in the best way.
honestly as a plus sized queer woman who grew up in the early 2000s this whole "change" was deeply insulting, like no you do not get to turn around and pretend you care about literally anything but your bottom line, you are still operating in the same environmentally destructive and exploitative way you always were, you're still bowing to the wishes of rich (almost exclusively white, cishet and male) shareholders, and you're still airbrushing the carefully curated small selection of the population you've deemed beautiful enough to be in your ads. you haven't remotely changed, and i'm not gonna forget that when you still aren't selling bras in my band size 🙄 thank you for a wonderful video as ever!!
Supportive commenter here! But also what you said and your analysis connecting to the financial crisis is really insightful. After the crisis around 2008 the hopes to create the (Christian-morals influenced) "nuclear family" was ultimately shattered. The hopes of providing for your family, having a fairly paid full-time job and affordable living standards died. After that the explosion of millennials and now gen z who have an ideology only based on individualism is striking. The corporations now, who are profiting from this individual based cynicism is sad, and 2015 and the "girlboss era" is also an example of this. This economic collapse created a youth that will walk over dead bodies for their own success . Unfortunately this individualism seems to have grown during the pandemic which resulted in populist right-wing borderline fascists politics as well as these corporations tapping into this sentiment. Great thought-provoking video! Thank you 💝
you are so incredibly intelligent, I’m only 14 but these kinds of conversations are the only thing that can beat my attention span ty so much for this gift my love
Every time I see Kristen has uploaded I immeadiatly click on the video. You always have very surprising and new takes on issues that I have not really considered. Even if I disagree sometimes it is so refreshing to watch!
I was so obsessed with vs shows back in the day, and I always said it was the costumes and wings, but deep down I knew I just wanted to be those girls so bad, celebrated, beautiful face, perfect body, perfect life.
-btw only commenting to help you Kristen, I love your work, what you do is so important, to have voices like yours on this platform, so keep doing it pls
-lil vegan environmentalist witch, and your viewer for years now, from not so far Hungary
I'm just so surprised your channel doesn't get more traction. You are one of the only RUclipsrs I consistently watch and learn from. I am adding this comment here to boost your channel and throwing it to the RUclips algorithm gods. Sending you much love Kristen. ❤
All I have to say is:
Remove advertising from your life as much as possible. Everybody’s trying to sell you happiness and it can’t be bought
Thanks for being such a good role model for women
Thank you for articulating the icky feeling I get when seeing these add campaigns. You flawlessly exposed something that has been bothering me for so long that I couldn't quite explain. As always, your content is profound, thought provoking, and an educational treasure!!!
There's this tiktok video that I lost (I almost don't use tiktok so I don't know if I can recover it somehow) where the girl says something like "am I bi or am I just scared of letting go of the idea of the male gaze as a validation because I don't know what to put in its place after a lifetime of looking at myself through it?" and that spoke to me big time. As women we are sort of taught (I'm from 93, I was definitely taught that) that our value is not only in working but also in finding a male partner and reproducing. Nothing against that if that's your thing, but that's a narrow view of happiness - I used to call that 'the happiness package'. I even had the exact same conversation with my mom that happened in that movie with America Ferrera, 'Real Women Have Curves' (I know, the title, I know), where my mom said she could be fat because she's married but I, as a single woman, couldn't afford the luxury, leaving it heavily implied that I had to be thin to catch a man and then I could let go. It's still really hard to separate what the culture says I should find attractive, what I really find attractive, and what from the culture I don't mind finding attractive. Victoria Secret was one of the reasons I became anorexic at 11. In the end I wasn't even fat (not that there is any problem with being fat, mind you), I was swollen from a bowel inflammatory disease, so no diet actually worked (doctor-given or otherwise), not even starving myself. Victoria Secret was in big part the reason why I thought I wasn't lovable, because to be lovable I would have to look like one of the models and I just couldn't, not without being born again. It ran so deep that I equated male approval with love. This still haunts me.
Yeah it is like the companies are saying ‘we see you. You matter too in this world.’ Only because now not being inclusive has financial consequences. But everyone always mattered. And how fucked up is it that you would buy from a brand who didn’t acknowledge you first but now only acknowledges you bc of monetary gains. To be honest that sounds like a manipulative narcissist who you wanna stay far away from.
your comment about not realizing you were gay as a kid going through lingerie ads because it was solely through the male gaze. wow. something clicked, I feel like that’s DEFINITELY why it took me so long
Not being attracted to women that are represented through the male gaze and that representation resulting in comphet is so true. Thank you for saying this.
Your videos are always thought provoking and well presented. Also, love the look!
I always have something to learn from your analysis Kristen. Thanks for another banger. Also the shirt is wonderful.
Thank you for bringing this to the attention of so many people across the internet. I knew only a minuscule part of all of this and because of you I've learned so much today. Thank you for all that you do. You're beautiful. 🧡
Omg a bra ad started auto playing when this video ended. Unreal! Loved this vid as usual, thanks for putting in all the effort so we don't have to! 🙌
your hair has grown so much. This topic hits soooo fucking hard. Really makes me want to dig into it more within myself.. spooky stuff.
love your point abt not being attracted to those sexualized ads of women, this made me question for sooo long if i was actually bi! turns out i just never liked the male gaze-iness of it... amazing video as always, kristen! xx
Silent viewer here - commenting for the engagement.
Love your channel and your refreshing takes. Keep it up Kristen ✨
The intro should not be forgotten! I love it. Thanks for the video and going back into the field of political activism. It suits you well! Hope you are doing well
I wouldn’t describe this video as political activism but I’m not complaining 😅💜
I am preparing the house for New Years Eve and I will listen and comment on any video I havent had the time to watch yet!
i love your videos sm girl. I've learned a lot from them
first of all, WOW this whole look 🤌🏾 chef's kiss. i had to pause the video when you were talking about how afab people are conditioned from such a young age to be desired over being encouraged to have a free, authentic relationship with our own desire. being queer as well, i'm still on that journey ❤
It’s almost 1am and my brain is barely functioning, so I don’t have anything to add but Kristen said to comment so here I am :)
I think there might be something to the last point it makes me think of that thing where like a guy will say the right things publicly not even advocating for a marginalised group just being normal and inclusive-ish and then he’s seen as this sweetheart or something. I think we feel reassured and comforted by the idea that there are some « good ones » out there, and maybe because by seeking that comfort we end up giving too much credit to those men or corporations. I don’t know. No one will read this probably and that might be for the best. But it’s engagement!
Commenting just because you asked us to LOL but honestly, great video. It's nice to watch someone bring up great points to sticking to my values of not being an over consumer. Thank you!
I found extremely interesting your point about male gaze and woman desire, it's so deeply ingraned in our brain from such a young age that our desire is secondary if not non existent, that understanding what you like or who you like is a revolutionary act.
i truly admire the Evolution of your channel! There are so few people that actually have evolved like u and keep creating in the way u do💜💜💜💜
Oh boy, I was just getting very into it and then video was ovuurrr. Super interesting though, this concept!! ( women being subconsciously trained now to seek validation from companies, instead of men... sad and disappointing but another call to truly find and build our sense of Self as a female identifying/woman in dis culture ) love you and happy you're back 💜🌻🍁🧙♀️
PS; I personally fount Victoria Secret products and later on also their models (becauze .. hello unapproachability and loveless exclusivity... ) pretty boring
Highkey obsessed with your backgrounds
Me: [already tattooing a screenshot from the intro on my body]
Kristin: “Let’s just pretend that intro never happened”
Me: [discreetly puts down tattoo gun]
you did it again! your set design/backdrop and total aesthetic on a video is so gooooood.
I promise it makes me listen more 🤣
Thank you for another great video ! Please keep doing these and NEVER remove the sarcastic part it's my favorite ❤
As a lesbian, it was very confusing to me as a child to be bombarded by images of women that I was told I needed to look like, but was also attracted to (as my type mostly seems to be fem women). This complicated things for me while figuring out my sexuality bc I told myself “oh just want to be her, I’m not attracted to her”. The moment that realised this was bullshit was when I became more sure of myself and I learned to differentiate between insecurity and actual attraction.
On another note, I really appreciate all the insightful content that you make for us (for free!). 💕
As a fem attracted person who did get gay Awakening from a Victoria's secret catalog I stand in solidarity with you Kristen! 🥲
that intro was everything 🤌
I have Victoria Secret bras that are in perfect condition and I still wear from 2012 they have kept the same shape through all these years it's incredible
One of a kind!! I admire very much your way of thinking
Always trying to share these topics with others too😉