My opinion don’t matter but personally the flow and pitch of voice you approached this song with almost made me click off but the verse and actual lyricism is fire enough it made me stay the whole time
It's great,my problem is that too true,and too short, I arrive in this game suddenly,lyrical teleport, Poetic grandmaster,playing lyrical chess,like Rapport, I got crazy bars to every motherfucking accord, Too short,like we talkig about Ludwig, I cover up trash rappers heads,with a new wig, We tell the truth,i bet other artists are fuming, Crazy rhymes,and bars,what i am choosing. Choosing them,like a Pokemon,word to Pikachu,or DITTO, i solved the rhyming game by winning the lyrical Bingo, I am the largest animal in this fucking big zoo, Trash people are getting ghosted.-boo They are getting ghosted,like this is tinder, And they are not my boo,just golddiggers, But they are just mad bardiggers, I fuck them up with my fingers. this is lyrical sex to your ears, Running away from me,like scared deers, Cause y'all are scared from the true bars, Like i am Polish-I end all these kurwas.
@@ogluvantiyfan7102 difference between him and DOOM is that DOOM doesn’t sound like he’s trying so hard. What this guy says rhymes but just cause it rhymes doesn’t mean it’s good
@@TylerTheMonk nah bro you rap like you reading your essay out loud. In your brain while your writing try not to break the syllables down like in the video. it sounds like spoken word... You need to ride the beat. The beat will tell you what to write. I'm not sure if you write TO the beat or find the beat after but id recommend writing TO the beat. Try to swag it up a little bit. you can still be you but loosen up. Also dumbing down your lyrics wouldn't be a bad idea... Try to write a hook and structure your song to keep the audience engaged. You're trying to be impressive in a clever way. You may be a good battle rapper you got a lot of punchlines. There's mathematics in these beats. Find your rhythm and don't OVERWRITE the beat.
@@trapboyGAMING that's fair. I've heard that before. Im working on it. It's cause I write so much. I've been writing for years and I consider myself a writer before a rapper. So yea I can work on that. I still like it though
@@TylerTheMonk I think that it’s honestly smart to be a writer before a rapper. That’s what Kendrick Lamar practically is. Kendrick raps as if he’s delivering an English essay with the swagger that the man above you stated. So rather mixing the 2 than replacing one for the other is probably best and that’s what I’m trying to do rn with my own shit.
@@TylerTheMonk To offer some constructive criticism, I believe this would sound better to the ear if you delivered it in a more serious tone. Someone mentioned Kendrick in another comment. I wouldn't say that serious like you're angry, but, a little quicker and less like you're not taking what you're saying serious. If you delivered this like a Nas, in the sense that he has a nice voice but it can be arguably quite monotone, I believe it would've fitted the beat better. 👍
actually fire af im ngl
Your my new favorite rapper. The amount of cancellable bars are 🔥🔥. And the amount of memeyness (knee slap)
Mad MF Doom vibes 🔥🔥💯
"You better Jerk
Empty inside the Metaverse-the greatest line ever
My only problem is the delivery. Aside from that, #Bars 🔥🔥🔥
0:35 💀
Mind blown 🤯
yeah my mind will for sure be blown cause i feel the urge to shoot myself in the head after hearing this
Ayeee man that’s heat🔥🔥🔥 and the message is so true!
dope work bro
This is dope man🔥
Brooooo this shit fire gang 🔥🔥🔥
thanks boss
holy shit....
Ocean waves the goat
100p
Keep going bro ✨⚡️
Thanks man
he's dope but delivery is off
How long did it take you to write it?
Not long !! It always comes through quick
My opinion don’t matter but personally the flow and pitch of voice you approached this song with almost made me click off but the verse and actual lyricism is fire enough it made me stay the whole time
It's great,my problem is that too true,and too short,
I arrive in this game suddenly,lyrical teleport,
Poetic grandmaster,playing lyrical chess,like Rapport,
I got crazy bars to every motherfucking accord,
Too short,like we talkig about Ludwig,
I cover up trash rappers heads,with a new wig,
We tell the truth,i bet other artists are fuming,
Crazy rhymes,and bars,what i am choosing.
Choosing them,like a Pokemon,word to Pikachu,or DITTO,
i solved the rhyming game by winning the lyrical Bingo,
I am the largest animal in this fucking big zoo,
Trash people are getting ghosted.-boo
They are getting ghosted,like this is tinder,
And they are not my boo,just golddiggers,
But they are just mad bardiggers,
I fuck them up with my fingers.
this is lyrical sex to your ears,
Running away from me,like scared deers,
Cause y'all are scared from the true bars,
Like i am Polish-I end all these kurwas.
This is trash but good job actually putting stuff out into the world to be judged
The lyrics are fire but delivery needs work
Work on your delivery and don't try so hard to rhyme everything with everything.
Ur telling man to not be skilled 😂
Listen to meat grinder by mf doom and then think would you have told mf doom to not rhyme every word😂
@@ogluvantiyfan7102well MF DOOM is one of this best of all time and this guy sucks
@@ogluvantiyfan7102 difference between him and DOOM is that DOOM doesn’t sound like he’s trying so hard. What this guy says rhymes but just cause it rhymes doesn’t mean it’s good
@@UmbraJoy If y'all want to learn more, how to rhyme everything with everything,try listening to K-RINO,he has the craziest rhyme schemes
The bars are good but you rap the entire thing like you are doing it as a joke. If you speak seriously it would be way better.
That was the point, but i see what ur saying
@@TylerTheMonk nah bro you rap like you reading your essay out loud. In your brain while your writing try not to break the syllables down like in the video. it sounds like spoken word... You need to ride the beat. The beat will tell you what to write. I'm not sure if you write TO the beat or find the beat after but id recommend writing TO the beat. Try to swag it up a little bit. you can still be you but loosen up. Also dumbing down your lyrics wouldn't be a bad idea... Try to write a hook and structure your song to keep the audience engaged. You're trying to be impressive in a clever way. You may be a good battle rapper you got a lot of punchlines. There's mathematics in these beats. Find your rhythm and don't OVERWRITE the beat.
@@trapboyGAMING that's fair. I've heard that before. Im working on it. It's cause I write so much. I've been writing for years and I consider myself a writer before a rapper. So yea I can work on that. I still like it though
@@TylerTheMonk I think that it’s honestly smart to be a writer before a rapper. That’s what Kendrick Lamar practically is. Kendrick raps as if he’s delivering an English essay with the swagger that the man above you stated. So rather mixing the 2 than replacing one for the other is probably best and that’s what I’m trying to do rn with my own shit.
Whats your discord, this shit is insane
Thanks dawg. Dont have it
this is a bad flow and the lyrics are not making up for it.
Idk about these lyrics have some decent complexity
man that was not good seriously bars are fine but you're not being real
shut up
@@TylerTheMonk To offer some constructive criticism, I believe this would sound better to the ear if you delivered it in a more serious tone. Someone mentioned Kendrick in another comment. I wouldn't say that serious like you're angry, but, a little quicker and less like you're not taking what you're saying serious. If you delivered this like a Nas, in the sense that he has a nice voice but it can be arguably quite monotone, I believe it would've fitted the beat better. 👍
Well _that_ sucked.