This feeling is so real. The straddling the line between not wanting to be a burden on the people you love but wanting them to understand why you're not "yourself."
@Dr Megha Manoj im barely getting through I’m struggling so much but there’s some people who give me the reason to keep going. People who need me. Getting a kitten has given me comfort someone to always be there for me in the night I spend crying myself asleep and waking up every morning wanting to hurt myself. The pain is always there. There’s always a few seconds where I feel happy and I hold onto them. I just find myself taking lots of pics for my family for when I do eventually go. Find something you like. Something that makes you happy Something that comforts you. Something that makes you feel not alone. I got into kpop end of 2020 and it’s like being in a big family that’s always there for you. The fandoms are amazing and so are all the idols. They are our idols and We are there idols. I’m not just talking about there music but the idols are amazing kind people. I really recommend The Rose. There songs are so comforting Straykids there music is amazing and BTS. I know kpop isn’t for everyone but it’s how I cope so find something that makes you feel the way I feel about kpop. Idk if that will help you but I know you can do this!! Your doing so great already!! I’m so proud of you
@Dr Megha Manoj yea same. Kpop, kdramas and bls are my escape from the real world. I’m always here if u wanna talk. Just let me know if you want my insta or snap:)
I'm dealing with this currently... Sonya like this are so helpful in reminding someone but it seemed worse than it was before another time. And that the important part is the healing and the good that comes afterwards.
I got really sick in 2014, My fear took over and I felt no one understood. Doctors treated me like I was over reacting and it felt so lonely. I started writing a book about my life and experiences with the health care system. Listening to your song, it made me cry. You put into words how I felt and how I still feel ❤
I'm caught between saying that this song is describing the exact paralyzing fear and indescribable internal struggles I've been experiencing for most of 2024 and feeling humble that what I went through is nowhere near as bad as what this song is most likely actually describing.
Thank you for releasing this song! Having POTS and an autoimmune disorder that isn’t visible in a tangible way, it often feels like you’re crazy and meant to suffer alone
I have POTS AND EDS TOO !!! What is MCAS ? Sad thing is I go and do well and then I start flaring up again and again and then I plateau and am fine and it's so hard
As someone who is currently fighting Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD this song is exactly what I needed. It's like I'm currently living in a black hole..and this song helps me escape for a lil
@@PhilMahar-p3j Yes, my friend this is temporary. I know it seems like it's never going to go away like if we have no idea how much more we can take that feeling alone is the worst thing ever. Though in order for us individually to make it through THESE rough patches we must deal with Our inner turmoil to become empowered without any other obstacles or allowing others to detour us any LONGER. Having a choice for ourselves and sticking to our personal choice of not letting people hurt us no longer takes time for this change to form in our life, at the end of this WE HAVE OURSELVES WHO DOESN'T NEED OTHERS TO BE CONTENT TO BE CONTENT IS TO BECOME SATISFIED WITHIN OUR MINDSET. IM GLAD AND PROUD OF THE LOT OF YOUS THAT HAVE CHOSEN THE PATH OF SELF-DISCOVERY, SELF-DETERMINATION SELF-GLORIFICATION SELF-LOVE SELF-CONFIDENCE SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND SELF RESPECT CONGRATULATIONS
As a sufferer from a lot of Chronic Illnesses and years of Chronic pain this so is so beautiful and literally gave me goosebumps. 😢 You aren’t alone ❤ we’re here for you! Thank you 🙏🏻 for making this masterpiece ❤
After going through brain surgery and finding out i had multiple disabilities and chronic health issues i felt like this for ages, thanks for providing me with the words to those feelings. And i feel for all who have or are dealing with this.
You've given voice to what so many of us wish we could convey. This is exactly how the last year of my life has been like. Thank you for this song and for you using your experience to birth such a powerful message ❤️
i resonate with this lyrics. two time cancer survivor with severe major depression and anxiety. Always going through a physical changes. i am always asking what the hell is wrong because i thought survivorship would be easy and that i could go back to my regular life but that isn't the reality i have. so i love that someone as beautiful as her wrote such real and raw emotions. i even play it for my daughter...she gets it.
As someone who suffers multiple chronic illnesses and mental health conditions I relate to this song on a different level, it's beautiful and you've put into words exactly how I feel but could never find the words to explain it🖤
"I blamed myself".....that hits me hard. When no one understands me, i thought i was the weird n complicated one,so i always end up blaming myself. It was wrong tho...our feelings ARE valid.
Been unable to live my life for the past almost six months. Unable to work. Unable to handle anything. I have been so sick and it has been nothing but a fight with my doctors to find a cause. Finally starting to get somewhere. This song is so relatable. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I was diagnosed at 24 with an incurable degenerative disease i’m 33 now. The pain i endure everyday, its maddening. For years i’v never found a song that was able to put into words what my head is like, until now. Thank you thank you thank you.
In middle school, shortly after turning 12, I started freaking out over my health. I thought every symptom I had was cancer. I would constantly think I was dying and I broke down in class multiple times. No teacher ever cared, none understood me. They wrote me off as being overdramatic and the kids did, too. I learned to shut it in because I feared showing it, I feared no one would ever understand how i felt. It's since decreased in intensity, but I still panic sometimes, I still think some symptoms are cancer and my heart will beat faster and I'll start hyperventilating, on the verge of tears. But I cannot cry in front of others anymore. I cry by myself, silent. That is what I taught myself because no one understands when I cry. They say I'm fine, that I'm just exgarrating. Even my own parents. I'm 18 now, and I know there's something wrong. I don't know what it is, but I want to know. It seems like OCD, the way I obsess over it. I can't know for sure, though. No money, no support. There's nothing I can do but tough it out.
I have depression and anxiety...I relate to this so much. You did amazing, you sound amazing, keep fighting and be proud of the beautiful song you worked so hard on!
As someone who struggles with ptsd, depression, an eating disorder and multiple health scares, fearing I wouldn't make it. Thank you so much for creating this, I can't even put into words how relatable, meaningful and beautiful this is. I hope life has gotten better for you BLÜ EYES / Katie. I've heard this song a few times before but it came up on my mix today and I burst into tears.
Oh my goodness… I cannot tell you how much I can relate to this song.. this is such a good song. Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us and sharing it. Very powerful words. I cannot wait for everyone to hear this tomorrow!! Sitting in class trying not to cry!!.. ❤️❤️
I started to lock myself in at the end of 2020 for a whole year, not even a step out of my parent's house, my childhood home. Gladly, they're supportive enough to let me have my time and my way to process what has happened to me. Then, gradually a few months ago, step by step I've pushed by the world to crawl out of my cave. Well, I am still not that good enough but better. As long as I am still alive, I know I'll be out again 😊
I have been battling MDD and Bipolar Disorder for years now. This is the very first song that I can relate so much. It clearly shows the struggles of an individual mentally. Always remember that whatever we're going through right now it doesn't end our story. If you're reading this, pls continue your life cause there's still good things that will happen. Don't be blinded with what you think, feel, and see cause what you deserve is more than that.
I always listen to this song on the train. I've never even been diagnosed with any illness, and I don't think I have one either. It's not even like my life is a tragedy or anything. So many factors make me feel as if nothing ever goes right, so it feels as if i have no right to be sad. All these other young adults with their blessed families, and here I am going to school, working to make ends meet, and always taking the last train home, loaded with student loans, no safety net. Always alone. I just go with my day. People think I'm making sacrifices for success, but it's not that. I'm not choosing to live like this. There is nothing else I can do to escape my situation no matter how hard I try. So i just go with it, but i feel like i could cry at any moment. I just feel so lost at work, at school, on the train. It would be really nice just to have one person that cares. I don't know if its that simple, but i really really hate being alone. update: Finally brought myself to a doctor and got diagnosed with depression. Glad to finally get help.
You don't have to have a tragedy to feel what you feel. It doesn't negate anything you feel. Your feelings are valid. If you feel like crying (at school, on the train, at work (maybe on break)), do it. Some tips: schools have counselors (you can honestly go in and say you're having a hard emotional day, that you don't want to talk about it, but do want to cry - I doubt they'd say no). Employers often have programs, i.e., EAP (employment assistant program), that can get you a specific amount of benefits for emotional health/physical health (even without insurance, if I'm not mistaken). You don't need a tragedy or diagnosis to go for therapy or to validate your feelings. If you want to cry, cry. Letting it out really helps sometimes. I'd probably cry on the train so that when the train stops, I could stop crying. Sending you good vibes. 🙏🏻
I always to to think being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel alone . I hope your situation changes I’m going through the same situation as you. Pulling through at the moment not such how much more I can take tho:/
Very rarely does a song make me cry... That being said not only did this make me well up, it opened up an internal dialog with myself about taming my dragon. Thank you to everyone involved in the creation of this video. You've inspired me in more ways than I can convey in a RUclips comment. All I can do to express my gratitude is encourage all involved to continue in their craft, especially Blu Eyes for creating content that not only tells her story but resonates with a host of others.
WHO ARE YOU?!!! I am dumbfounded by what you've done here. I am truly just awe struck. I couldn't understand why it made me want to cry until I've read the other comments. Now I understand where this is coming from but I gotta say: From a musical and production perspective, good Lord! From your voice to the lyrics to your recording sensibilities to your soundscapes to your decision to sit in your bed and knit, I just can't believe what I'm seeing or hearing. I think it's genius. You don't understand, you were randomly fed to me on instagram. I'm a 50 year old man who has always loved PROGRESSIVE METAL almost exclusively. Dream Theater, Plini, Arch Echo. This piece should NOT do anything to me but I'm totally blown away by how authentic it feels, and I LOVE the way it sounds. It so sincere and powerful! What a transcendent thought provoking musical expression! Thank you SO MUCH for putting yourself out there, You are amazing!
This song took me right back to my mindset in the depths of postnatal depression after my son was born. Word for word, exactly how it felt. This is so special ❤
I just found this song on Spotify recently, and I have never felt so seen by a piece of music. As a therapist, a sexual violence survivor, a knitter...who after it happened spent two years holed up in my home retreating deeper and deeper into my depression, latching onto anything I could to make me forget. Who had to fight for years to get a Hashimoto's diagnosis from doctors who kept telling me that everything "looked good," and it was probably just stress or diet related...Thank you. I hope you are also healing.
Thank you so much for this song. I had a terrible accident and I hurt my head really bad. Noone could see it from the outside. I heard so oftenly "you should see the bright side, you should move on..." It's two years ago now and it still haunts me. I am still recovering. Then I found your song and now I am in tears. Thank you so much for your song❤
As someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression right now. This helped me so much just to know that some could put relatable feelings into a song.
Had a horrible chronic illness that left me completely stuck. I was slowly dying of malnutrition and internal bleeding and constantly in pain, ready for it all to be over. A long hospital stay and I lost my colon on feb 26th this year to my IBD causing it to become precancerous. Life with an ostomy is hella weird, but it's the chance at a new beginning mentally and physically for me. This song is incredible and expresses much that is so hard to put into words. Thank you for making an incredible song. ❤
I broke up with my first real life, non long distance boyfriend recently, and this song has really helped convey all of the emotions I've been going through for the past week. My anxiety has been through the roof since he broke up with me. My body does still gets tense when I try to go outside, because I remember him everywhere and everything we did together. It's like having a person-shaped mental block. And it's so difficult. It feels like it's never going to end, even though I've been in this situation before and it did end, right now I'm on edge, grasping at straws. I hope I feel okay soon.
Sheesh… this song really hits home. Everybody out there going through it, keep fighting and believing, I promise it gets better! Just don’t give up! 🙏🏼
You put my experiences into a song. I started battling my chronic illness, POTS, about two years ago. I felt so alone and scared. Thank you so much for making so many songs people can relate to. It makes us feel less alone.
I don't have any medical condition but after covid, nothing felt the same. I was depressed because I couldn't continue the same school due to bankruptcy. I had online school and refused to leave the house for a year. I feel like my ability to socialize and communicate deteriorated and I cannot even form a simple sentence without freaking out. I fought my life for the happiness I had as a child and cried every night to sleep. No one knew about this but my family. Today I begin to experience what I've longed for once again and it's just so unreal. I finally feel like everything is worth what I've been through.
I was diagnosed stage 2 esophageal cancer back in May of this year. Started the journey of figuring out what was wrong in February this year, with doctors telling me they couldnt figure out what was wrong. It's been a long battle and I am still fighting it, it's been a long 9 months so far. This song resonated with me tremendously. ♥️
I just comment on "my body hates me" almost died in car accident at 21, im 30. My body will never be the same, its broken all over, in pain everyday, it screws with my mental health so bad, pain the rest of my life i still cant breathe going oast the accident site. I cant work anymore because my doctor said ill risk being paralyzed waist down . ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story, the truly amazing thing about the internet is how it shows us we really are not alone in our suffering. Bless you
These comments. 🥺 This is why I want to make music, I want to be able to give others what you’ve given all of us with this song. I hate seeing how many others are struggling and suffering the same way I am, but we are warriors, and I love each and every one of you. 💜
This song is so sad and beautiful the way I relate to it. Ever since I was 15 I've had to spend so much time going to the hospital, for both physical and mental issues. I haven't had one good experience and some things were downright traumatic. I have been discriminated against and have had doctors not take me seriously. When I've told my mom she didn't listen or believe me. I hate going to the doctor and am riddled with anxiety every time I have to. I have so often felt like I couldn't put it into words or express how hurt I've been and how helpless and lonely it feels, but you have managed to do that
Thank you Blü Eyes for putting words to feelings and realities... I've been fighting for my life since I can remember... trauma still haunts me now... you'd never know.
I have an autoimmune disease that usually attacks my eyes as inflammations that if I don’t treat it causes me to lose my eye sight slowly , few weeks ago i had one of those inflammations again till now, and I literally can’t look at any light and i suffer when i go outside in the sun , i also close up all my windows and curtains so I don’t see any lights, and these song lyrics felt like it was made for me … thank you… I feel lonely because after all my doctors appointments everything is manageable and my family is a bit rested but they don’t know the struggle i have to go through even tho my case is manageable..
I also lost part of my eye sight in my left eye . I hope that people understand that even if things seems okay after a long battle it’s not okay because after all we go through we end up tired and exhausted of everything we had to go through to survive
aside from the ptsd part, this song describes me perfectly. it’s so sad to feel like you’re wasting your youth living this way but can’t bring yourself to do anything about it
This song is so comforting. Your music has really helped so many people and what I hear from this, you never know what someone’s going through. So go easy on yourself and them
I’ve had issues with chronic lyme, gastroparesis, anxiety, depression, cPTSD and now CRPS since i was 15 (will be 32 in a few months) thank you for putting this in words. I’m… in so much awe
This song means so much to me and now I find out you knit too?! You’re amazing. Knitting is the only thing that’s helped distract me and give me some sense of control
I feel so Connect with this song, I have depression and feel so alone and lost, I have ptsd ,anxiety and huge depression. I hope everybody gets better from this nightmare and live happy, we deserved to be Happy again.
One of the most painful things I've heard in my life is surviving through a hell like this all alone, by yourself and when you finally get the courage to tell someone that it happened to you years later they say it wasn't real or that it "probably wasn't that bad". It was the first time I cried/laughed out of sheer ridiculousness of what someone said.
@@AutumnTAYLOR-vb7zv What’s your problem, yes they could’ve but they made it out themselves and were just telling someone now. It’s people with your arrogance that makes others not want to come to anyone for help..
So I run 3 sober livings while still working full-time at my friend's business. I work at least 96 hrs a week which if I stay in this field of work it will always be like that. I have super low lows and break downs weekly. This sort of music reminds me that I'm not alone with the battle that I have in my own head. It's through this type of music that I've learned to let people know where my head is at when I'm not in a good spot. Secrets will keep me sick! Thank you for the song
I’ve been holding onto some trauma I couldn’t quite crack to work through, until I heard this bridge yesterday. thank you for the first step towards healing this broken part of me.
Im a 23 years old male, and I suffer borderline personality disorder and depression, been spending a lot of money for medication cuz i sometimes get sick very easily and have to take lot of meds. thanks to Ryan i discovered u and found this song. I really relate to every lyrics of this song alos the other one "healing hurts" and dont u know how much ur songs inspired me to keep fighting and not to leave earth by force. hereby saying thank you very much Blu Eyes!
I have many letters in the mental illness alphabet and I'm currently in a depressive episode this song and healing hurts are literally on repeat. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It helps us feel less alone.
I've spent my life with numerous medical issues, CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and so many people/Drs if always made me feel like I was the one making things up. I've now been stuck in my home for 4 months aside from someone taking me to Dr appointments due to my anxiety being at such an all time high. This song says so much that I am unable to right now
You’ll never know how much your music truly means to me. It gets me through every single day. It calms me and makes me feel less alone. It soothes my soul. Thank you 💜
August 1st 2019, down the block from my childhood home. Now I'm married & have the most amazing son. It haunts me to think of all the beauty I might've missed if a stranger didn't find me & call for help. Keep pushing, it can get better. ❤ ;
Your voice is so soothing and comforting. The lyrics you write are relatable to too many. It can be challenging to not play, "The Blame Game". A better use of time is finding ways to heal. This song reminded me of the following quote, "In the depth of winter, realize that within you lies an invincible summer. " I hope that quote comforts or motivates someone. If anyone knows who to give credit to for that quote, please respond to this comment with the author's name. Onwards and upwards Blu ... 👊
Living with an invisible illness of which no Dr's couldn't give me any answer for many years, and even to the point of where I couldn't walk normally anymore, and they still tried saying I was fine and anxiety as many tests came back normal. Felt like I was going insane. Was finally diagnosed with dysautonomia and form called, "p.o.t.s." Was relieved to have some kind of answer and so much of my life that didn't make sense finally added up. But still having to live very differently than others, and Martin King Jr. quote of "keep moving forward" no matter what you have to do really took on a whole new meaning. I strive to bring awareness and help others in any way possible with my story and where ever I'm at in life. You're not alone and there's still good people in the world
I follow you on TikTok, and this song I loved ever since I first heard it. But now this song takes a different toll on me- I have my first cat who disappeared in August. And it took me a while to see pictures of her and I still cry. I finally can leave photos of her up in my house. But the house isn’t the same without her. I began not able to control my emotions, and my depression began showing itself. Losing my cat sent me overboard. I don’t have kids, she was my baby. It’s been a long 3 months and I just am hoping that she will come back- but there’s a part of me that wants to just believe that she found herself another home that took better care of her than I did, but that thought hits me like a rock. I don’t want someone else to have her, I want her- I know that sounds selfish, but I feel like I can’t get over this and like there’s always going to be a hole in my heart about the size of my cat. 😢 I’m on medicine but it just feels like it’s been helping me feel all this pain, which is good. I don’t want to bottle it up but I just don’t want to feel like a burden on people if I crack while in public. 😢😢 This song is so special to me
Thank you for sharing your gift and being vulnerable with the world, it means more than you know + helps more than you know ❤ -someone trying to overcome their 3 year battle with depression
Yes, it does. I have never been vulnerable around people because I wasn't listened to anything I wanted to. So it's so hard to catch me vulnerable or being available in my vulnerability state. I only get to relate with people who are experiencing what I feel. So being vulnerable is really a strength to have. She's strong being it here.
That is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.... and the most hardest to digest. Me, almost 50 and right now very grateful for a ( in general) happy life!
This song hit me way too hard. I’ve been battling ocd, Ed’s and TMJD for years now. All invisible being told I was “over reacting” “attention seeking” I was slightly crying for help for so long and seemed like no one cared. I felt like my body had failed me and I was failing everyone around me.
I see so many of you below talking about the stuff you've struggled with and I just want you all to know my heart goes out to every one of you. Be proud and stay courageous.
I found this song yesterday and I've had it on repeat ever since. I needed this. I needed to know I wasn't the only one, the part "you couldn't tell but the inside of my head was a living hell I tried my best explaining how it felt" made my heart finally take a breath. It's such a relief Knowing I'm not alone. Depression ALMOST won. Music can really shift your mindset. I feel a lot better . 😞😊
The part that starts at 2:25 lives in my head completely rent free. It is fantastic pop song writing. I wish it happened more in this song. Once is not enough. My brain needs more of it.
I fell in love with your music when I incidentally heard actually happy.. never a day goes by that I haven't played it once. so I hope you are doing okay. because I would love to hear more from your music... love lots, a fan from the Philippines.
When I found this song couldn't believe how well it was capturing how I felt right now. It's been a rough summer for me, and I've never experienced health issues before this, and was going crazy trying to figure out what was wrong. This song is helping me alot
I always struggle with mental health, I have a hard past but last year I got physically sick. No doctor can find the reason, have multiple diagnosis in different organs but no treatment works. It seems like I won't recover. Also, I was alone, no one was there for me. This song describes the journey of my disease. In my case, describes exactly my physical struggles and how lonely I was. No one knows about this song and how much it means to me, but it gives me warm.
As some one who's has struggled with my mental health since I was 4 -5 years old Many types of mental diagnoses I feel this song You feel all alone No one ever really knows what your truly feeling You constant feel like you're fighting for your life
YES 😭👏 THIS is the true definition of my first time struggling with depression and anxiety. It still haunts me, those moments, and I still feel upside down at times but able to get myself feeling better sooner. Thank you so much for this! 🙏❤️🩹
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful song! I stumbled upon it by mistake on a day where this was a lot of what I was feeling and it honestly was such a blessing to find. 💕
As a depression and ptsd fighter, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever and will ever hear
Same 🥺😭
We will win 💛
🖤
I came here to say this. ❤❤❤❤
@@happysmith6666 I did too. We'll survive it. Let's hang on.
This feeling is so real. The straddling the line between not wanting to be a burden on the people you love but wanting them to understand why you're not "yourself."
After multiple attempts ,PTSD, depression, anxiety and social anxiety I’m still fighting but this song brings me so much comfort.
I listen to your tears
@Dr Megha Manoj im barely getting through I’m struggling so much but there’s some people who give me the reason to keep going. People who need me. Getting a kitten has given me comfort someone to always be there for me in the night I spend crying myself asleep and waking up every morning wanting to hurt myself. The pain is always there.
There’s always a few seconds where I feel happy and I hold onto them. I just find myself taking lots of pics for my family for when I do eventually go.
Find something you like.
Something that makes you happy
Something that comforts you.
Something that makes you feel not alone.
I got into kpop end of 2020 and it’s like being in a big family that’s always there for you. The fandoms are amazing and so are all the idols. They are our idols and We are there idols. I’m not just talking about there music but the idols are amazing kind people.
I really recommend The Rose. There songs are so comforting Straykids there music is amazing and BTS. I know kpop isn’t for everyone but it’s how I cope so find something that makes you feel the way I feel about kpop.
Idk if that will help you but I know you can do this!! Your doing so great already!!
I’m so proud of you
@Dr Megha Manoj yea same. Kpop, kdramas and bls are my escape from the real world.
I’m always here if u wanna talk. Just let me know if you want my insta or snap:)
🫂🫂
@King Paul okay lol
It's just so hard when you thought you finally surpassed depression, then one moment you feel it coming again. 🙃
I´m sorry you are struggeling again. I´m sending you a big hug and I hope that you will feel better soon again. Sending much love. :)
❤
this is me, I even cried so hard that night
ruclips.net/user/shortsj440ZrZoTfk?feature=share
I'm dealing with this currently...
Sonya like this are so helpful in reminding someone but it seemed worse than it was before another time.
And that the important part is the healing and the good that comes afterwards.
I got really sick in 2014, My fear took over and I felt no one understood. Doctors treated me like I was over reacting and it felt so lonely. I started writing a book about my life and experiences with the health care system. Listening to your song, it made me cry. You put into words how I felt and how I still feel ❤
@Jennifer Brown my own medical PTSD has kept from so much :( Thank you hun 💞 hugs 🤗
Would read
:/
ruclips.net/user/shortsj440ZrZoTfk?feature=share
@laurenmary1400 OMG really since when do doctors start treating their patients like they don’t matter I’m so sorry love🥺🥺🥺
I'm caught between saying that this song is describing the exact paralyzing fear and indescribable internal struggles I've been experiencing for most of 2024 and feeling humble that what I went through is nowhere near as bad as what this song is most likely actually describing.
Thank you for releasing this song! Having POTS and an autoimmune disorder that isn’t visible in a tangible way, it often feels like you’re crazy and meant to suffer alone
I have POTS too (and EDS, MCAS, and lupus among some other things) and you are definitely not alone. Gentle hugs. ❤
I have POTS too
Gosh do I relate.
With pots lupus and Lyme disease I totally feel you. Most doctors don't even acknowledge my test results.
I have POTS AND EDS TOO !!! What is MCAS ? Sad thing is I go and do well and then I start flaring up again and again and then I plateau and am fine and it's so hard
As someone who is currently fighting Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD this song is exactly what I needed. It's like I'm currently living in a black hole..and this song helps me escape for a lil
Jesus Christ loves you. this pain is temporary. ❤
@@kiana29122 🖤🫶
are you really sure about that pain is only temporary
@@PhilMahar-p3j Yes, my friend this is temporary. I know it seems like it's never going to go away like if we have no idea how much more we can take that feeling alone is the worst thing ever. Though in order for us individually to make it through THESE rough patches we must deal with Our inner turmoil to become empowered without any other obstacles or allowing others to detour us any LONGER. Having a choice for ourselves and sticking to our personal choice of not letting people hurt us no longer takes time for this change to form in our life, at the end of this WE HAVE OURSELVES WHO DOESN'T NEED OTHERS TO BE CONTENT TO BE CONTENT IS TO BECOME SATISFIED WITHIN OUR MINDSET. IM GLAD AND PROUD OF THE LOT OF YOUS THAT HAVE CHOSEN THE PATH OF SELF-DISCOVERY, SELF-DETERMINATION
SELF-GLORIFICATION
SELF-LOVE
SELF-CONFIDENCE
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
AND SELF RESPECT
CONGRATULATIONS
As a sufferer from a lot of Chronic Illnesses and years of Chronic pain this so is so beautiful and literally gave me goosebumps. 😢 You aren’t alone ❤ we’re here for you! Thank you 🙏🏻 for making this masterpiece ❤
Sucks
N thank u
After going through brain surgery and finding out i had multiple disabilities and chronic health issues i felt like this for ages, thanks for providing me with the words to those feelings. And i feel for all who have or are dealing with this.
I feel for you too and I wish you all the courage, strength and happiness in the world! ❤💪
You've given voice to what so many of us wish we could convey. This is exactly how the last year of my life has been like. Thank you for this song and for you using your experience to birth such a powerful message ❤️
i resonate with this lyrics. two time cancer survivor with severe major depression and anxiety. Always going through a physical changes. i am always asking what the hell is wrong because i thought survivorship would be easy and that i could go back to my regular life but that isn't the reality i have. so i love that someone as beautiful as her wrote such real and raw emotions. i even play it for my daughter...she gets it.
As someone who suffers multiple chronic illnesses and mental health conditions I relate to this song on a different level, it's beautiful and you've put into words exactly how I feel but could never find the words to explain it🖤
this song is gonna bring so much healing into the world
"I blamed myself".....that hits me hard. When no one understands me, i thought i was the weird n complicated one,so i always end up blaming myself. It was wrong tho...our feelings ARE valid.
Been unable to live my life for the past almost six months. Unable to work. Unable to handle anything. I have been so sick and it has been nothing but a fight with my doctors to find a cause. Finally starting to get somewhere. This song is so relatable. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I was diagnosed at 24 with an incurable degenerative disease i’m 33 now. The pain i endure everyday, its maddening. For years i’v never found a song that was able to put into words what my head is like, until now. Thank you thank you thank you.
In middle school, shortly after turning 12, I started freaking out over my health. I thought every symptom I had was cancer. I would constantly think I was dying and I broke down in class multiple times. No teacher ever cared, none understood me. They wrote me off as being overdramatic and the kids did, too. I learned to shut it in because I feared showing it, I feared no one would ever understand how i felt.
It's since decreased in intensity, but I still panic sometimes, I still think some symptoms are cancer and my heart will beat faster and I'll start hyperventilating, on the verge of tears. But I cannot cry in front of others anymore. I cry by myself, silent. That is what I taught myself because no one understands when I cry. They say I'm fine, that I'm just exgarrating. Even my own parents.
I'm 18 now, and I know there's something wrong. I don't know what it is, but I want to know. It seems like OCD, the way I obsess over it. I can't know for sure, though. No money, no support. There's nothing I can do but tough it out.
I have depression and anxiety...I relate to this so much. You did amazing, you sound amazing, keep fighting and be proud of the beautiful song you worked so hard on!
As someone who struggles with ptsd, depression, an eating disorder and multiple health scares, fearing I wouldn't make it. Thank you so much for creating this, I can't even put into words how relatable, meaningful and beautiful this is. I hope life has gotten better for you BLÜ EYES / Katie.
I've heard this song a few times before but it came up on my mix today and I burst into tears.
Oh my goodness… I cannot tell you how much I can relate to this song.. this is such a good song. Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us and sharing it. Very powerful words. I cannot wait for everyone to hear this tomorrow!! Sitting in class trying not to cry!!.. ❤️❤️
I started to lock myself in at the end of 2020 for a whole year, not even a step out of my parent's house, my childhood home. Gladly, they're supportive enough to let me have my time and my way to process what has happened to me. Then, gradually a few months ago, step by step I've pushed by the world to crawl out of my cave. Well, I am still not that good enough but better. As long as I am still alive, I know I'll be out again 😊
I have been battling MDD and Bipolar Disorder for years now. This is the very first song that I can relate so much. It clearly shows the struggles of an individual mentally. Always remember that whatever we're going through right now it doesn't end our story. If you're reading this, pls continue your life cause there's still good things that will happen. Don't be blinded with what you think, feel, and see cause what you deserve is more than that.
I always listen to this song on the train. I've never even been diagnosed with any illness, and I don't think I have one either. It's not even like my life is a tragedy or anything. So many factors make me feel as if nothing ever goes right, so it feels as if i have no right to be sad. All these other young adults with their blessed families, and here I am going to school, working to make ends meet, and always taking the last train home, loaded with student loans, no safety net. Always alone. I just go with my day. People think I'm making sacrifices for success, but it's not that. I'm not choosing to live like this. There is nothing else I can do to escape my situation no matter how hard I try. So i just go with it, but i feel like i could cry at any moment. I just feel so lost at work, at school, on the train. It would be really nice just to have one person that cares. I don't know if its that simple, but i really really hate being alone.
update:
Finally brought myself to a doctor and got diagnosed with depression. Glad to finally get help.
You don't have to have a tragedy to feel what you feel. It doesn't negate anything you feel.
Your feelings are valid.
If you feel like crying (at school, on the train, at work (maybe on break)), do it.
Some tips: schools have counselors (you can honestly go in and say you're having a hard emotional day, that you don't want to talk about it, but do want to cry - I doubt they'd say no).
Employers often have programs, i.e., EAP (employment assistant program), that can get you a specific amount of benefits for emotional health/physical health (even without insurance, if I'm not mistaken).
You don't need a tragedy or diagnosis to go for therapy or to validate your feelings.
If you want to cry, cry. Letting it out really helps sometimes.
I'd probably cry on the train so that when the train stops, I could stop crying.
Sending you good vibes.
🙏🏻
I always to to think being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel alone . I hope your situation changes I’m going through the same situation as you. Pulling through at the moment not such how much more I can take tho:/
Very rarely does a song make me cry... That being said not only did this make me well up, it opened up an internal dialog with myself about taming my dragon. Thank you to everyone involved in the creation of this video. You've inspired me in more ways than I can convey in a RUclips comment. All I can do to express my gratitude is encourage all involved to continue in their craft, especially Blu Eyes for creating content that not only tells her story but resonates with a host of others.
Beautifully put.
ruclips.net/user/shortsj440ZrZoTfk?feature=share 💔
Thank you so much for this song. It has given me words to my feelings. Thank you for your music!
It has too.
WHO ARE YOU?!!! I am dumbfounded by what you've done here. I am truly just awe struck. I couldn't understand why it made me want to cry until I've read the other comments. Now I understand where this is coming from but I gotta say: From a musical and production perspective, good Lord! From your voice to the lyrics to your recording sensibilities to your soundscapes to your decision to sit in your bed and knit, I just can't believe what I'm seeing or hearing. I think it's genius. You don't understand, you were randomly fed to me on instagram. I'm a 50 year old man who has always loved PROGRESSIVE METAL almost exclusively. Dream Theater, Plini, Arch Echo. This piece should NOT do anything to me but I'm totally blown away by how authentic it feels, and I LOVE the way it sounds. It so sincere and powerful! What a transcendent thought provoking musical expression! Thank you SO MUCH for putting yourself out there, You are amazing!
Having the anxiety and depression, thank you for making this song, i really appreciate it
This song took me right back to my mindset in the depths of postnatal depression after my son was born. Word for word, exactly how it felt. This is so special ❤
I just found this song on Spotify recently, and I have never felt so seen by a piece of music. As a therapist, a sexual violence survivor, a knitter...who after it happened spent two years holed up in my home retreating deeper and deeper into my depression, latching onto anything I could to make me forget. Who had to fight for years to get a Hashimoto's diagnosis from doctors who kept telling me that everything "looked good," and it was probably just stress or diet related...Thank you. I hope you are also healing.
I suffer with mental health and had undiagnosed adhd and autism and this song hit home so thank you
Thank you so much for this song. I had a terrible accident and I hurt my head really bad. Noone could see it from the outside. I heard so oftenly "you should see the bright side, you should move on..."
It's two years ago now and it still haunts me. I am still recovering. Then I found your song and now I am in tears.
Thank you so much for your song❤
As someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression right now. This helped me so much just to know that some could put relatable feelings into a song.
Had a horrible chronic illness that left me completely stuck. I was slowly dying of malnutrition and internal bleeding and constantly in pain, ready for it all to be over. A long hospital stay and I lost my colon on feb 26th this year to my IBD causing it to become precancerous. Life with an ostomy is hella weird, but it's the chance at a new beginning mentally and physically for me. This song is incredible and expresses much that is so hard to put into words. Thank you for making an incredible song. ❤
I broke up with my first real life, non long distance boyfriend recently, and this song has really helped convey all of the emotions I've been going through for the past week. My anxiety has been through the roof since he broke up with me. My body does still gets tense when I try to go outside, because I remember him everywhere and everything we did together. It's like having a person-shaped mental block. And it's so difficult. It feels like it's never going to end, even though I've been in this situation before and it did end, right now I'm on edge, grasping at straws. I hope I feel okay soon.
Sheesh… this song really hits home. Everybody out there going through it, keep fighting and believing, I promise it gets better! Just don’t give up! 🙏🏼
You put my experiences into a song. I started battling my chronic illness, POTS, about two years ago. I felt so alone and scared. Thank you so much for making so many songs people can relate to. It makes us feel less alone.
For all those who are still fighting too
May we find our peace and find the strength to open that door and reach out for the sunlight someday
I don't have any medical condition but after covid, nothing felt the same. I was depressed because I couldn't continue the same school due to bankruptcy. I had online school and refused to leave the house for a year. I feel like my ability to socialize and communicate deteriorated and I cannot even form a simple sentence without freaking out. I fought my life for the happiness I had as a child and cried every night to sleep. No one knew about this but my family. Today I begin to experience what I've longed for once again and it's just so unreal. I finally feel like everything is worth what I've been through.
Raw and relatable yet gorgeous piece. Thank you. 💜
I was diagnosed stage 2 esophageal cancer back in May of this year. Started the journey of figuring out what was wrong in February this year, with doctors telling me they couldnt figure out what was wrong. It's been a long battle and I am still fighting it, it's been a long 9 months so far. This song resonated with me tremendously. ♥️
I just comment on "my body hates me" almost died in car accident at 21, im 30. My body will never be the same, its broken all over, in pain everyday, it screws with my mental health so bad, pain the rest of my life i still cant breathe going oast the accident site. I cant work anymore because my doctor said ill risk being paralyzed waist down . ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story, the truly amazing thing about the internet is how it shows us we really are not alone in our suffering. Bless you
These comments. 🥺
This is why I want to make music, I want to be able to give others what you’ve given all of us with this song. I hate seeing how many others are struggling and suffering the same way I am, but we are warriors, and I love each and every one of you. 💜
This song is so sad and beautiful the way I relate to it.
Ever since I was 15 I've had to spend so much time going to the hospital, for both physical and mental issues. I haven't had one good experience and some things were downright traumatic. I have been discriminated against and have had doctors not take me seriously. When I've told my mom she didn't listen or believe me. I hate going to the doctor and am riddled with anxiety every time I have to.
I have so often felt like I couldn't put it into words or express how hurt I've been and how helpless and lonely it feels, but you have managed to do that
For someone who get through hell and lives with ptbs and depression now like me, this song gives a bit comfort and a feeling of being understand
six months ago, i was in hospital, and now im starting my life over. im in school and happy and surrounded by people who love me. keep going, guys :,)
Thank you Blü Eyes for putting words to feelings and realities... I've been fighting for my life since I can remember... trauma still haunts me now... you'd never know.
GREAT POP STYLE - perfect range and tones. Love your style. You gotta' be on the radio, and all the platforms with this sound!
I have an autoimmune disease that usually attacks my eyes as inflammations that if I don’t treat it causes me to lose my eye sight slowly , few weeks ago i had one of those inflammations again till now, and I literally can’t look at any light and i suffer when i go outside in the sun , i also close up all my windows and curtains so I don’t see any lights, and these song lyrics felt like it was made for me … thank you…
I feel lonely because after all my doctors appointments everything is manageable and my family is a bit rested but they don’t know the struggle i have to go through even tho my case is manageable..
I also lost part of my eye sight in my left eye . I hope that people understand that even if things seems okay after a long battle it’s not okay because after all we go through we end up tired and exhausted of everything we had to go through to survive
I fought 2 years for a POTS diagnosis. Thank you, this song means so much for so many people.
aside from the ptsd part, this song describes me perfectly. it’s so sad to feel like you’re wasting your youth living this way but can’t bring yourself to do anything about it
This is how it felt when I was fighting cancer. Beautiful song
This song is so comforting. Your music has really helped so many people and what I hear from this, you never know what someone’s going through. So go easy on yourself and them
I’ve had issues with chronic lyme, gastroparesis, anxiety, depression, cPTSD and now CRPS since i was 15 (will be 32 in a few months) thank you for putting this in words. I’m… in so much awe
This song means so much to me and now I find out you knit too?! You’re amazing. Knitting is the only thing that’s helped distract me and give me some sense of control
I have no idea how I came across this song but God do I feel blessed to hear this. What a song!
AMEN
It’s like you took the words right out of my own life’s experiences.
こんなに表現できてすごい。
涙出てくる
I feel so Connect with this song, I have depression and feel so alone and lost, I have ptsd ,anxiety and huge depression. I hope everybody gets better from this nightmare and live happy, we deserved to be Happy again.
Beautiful song. So glad I stumbled upon this masterpiece....lots of Love sending from FIJI 🇫🇯
One of the most painful things I've heard in my life is surviving through a hell like this all alone, by yourself and when you finally get the courage to tell someone that it happened to you years later they say it wasn't real or that it "probably wasn't that bad".
It was the first time I cried/laughed out of sheer ridiculousness of what someone said.
Well you should've told someone when it happened yes you are hopless and pathetic
@@AutumnTAYLOR-vb7zv What’s your problem, yes they could’ve but they made it out themselves and were just telling someone now. It’s people with your arrogance that makes others not want to come to anyone for help..
So I run 3 sober livings while still working full-time at my friend's business. I work at least 96 hrs a week which if I stay in this field of work it will always be like that. I have super low lows and break downs weekly. This sort of music reminds me that I'm not alone with the battle that I have in my own head. It's through this type of music that I've learned to let people know where my head is at when I'm not in a good spot. Secrets will keep me sick! Thank you for the song
I’ve been holding onto some trauma I couldn’t quite crack to work through, until I heard this bridge yesterday. thank you for the first step towards healing this broken part of me.
I've never related to a song more. This is exactly what I experienced as well. Thank you for putting it into words.
Surviving through depression here! Thank you for putting words and music on how I feel. Truly ❤
As someone fighting with anxiety and agoraphobia and continuous illness i can totally relate to it and was actually fighting for my life 8 months ago.
its surprizing how every line she said is just so relatable !! fighting yall !!
Im a 23 years old male, and I suffer borderline personality disorder and depression, been spending a lot of money for medication cuz i sometimes get sick very easily and have to take lot of meds. thanks to Ryan i discovered u and found this song. I really relate to every lyrics of this song alos the other one "healing hurts" and dont u know how much ur songs inspired me to keep fighting and not to leave earth by force. hereby saying thank you very much Blu Eyes!
love love love this 💙 i feel everything in the lyrics, and i’m so grateful for you writing this
I have many letters in the mental illness alphabet and I'm currently in a depressive episode this song and healing hurts are literally on repeat. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It helps us feel less alone.
I’ve listened to this 20 times already. I love how your music is so relatable. You’re amazing! 💙
I've spent my life with numerous medical issues, CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and so many people/Drs if always made me feel like I was the one making things up. I've now been stuck in my home for 4 months aside from someone taking me to Dr appointments due to my anxiety being at such an all time high. This song says so much that I am unable to right now
Thank you. Your work is stunning. This song struck me so hard, brought back the path that spun me through my darkest day.
i know this feeling 100%
You’ll never know how much your music truly means to me. It gets me through every single day. It calms me and makes me feel less alone. It soothes my soul. Thank you 💜
this was my anorexia recovery song and it holds such a special spot in my heart
August 1st 2019, down the block from my childhood home. Now I'm married & have the most amazing son. It haunts me to think of all the beauty I might've missed if a stranger didn't find me & call for help. Keep pushing, it can get better. ❤ ;
Your voice is so soothing and comforting. The lyrics you write are relatable to too many. It can be challenging to not play, "The Blame Game". A better use of time is finding ways to heal. This song reminded me of the following quote, "In the depth of winter, realize that within you lies an invincible summer. " I hope that quote comforts or motivates someone. If anyone knows who to give credit to for that quote, please respond to this comment with the author's name. Onwards and upwards Blu ... 👊
Albert Camus - “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
this song is absolutely talking about me💔
Living with an invisible illness of which no Dr's couldn't give me any answer for many years, and even to the point of where I couldn't walk normally anymore, and they still tried saying I was fine and anxiety as many tests came back normal. Felt like I was going insane. Was finally diagnosed with dysautonomia and form called, "p.o.t.s." Was relieved to have some kind of answer and so much of my life that didn't make sense finally added up. But still having to live very differently than others, and Martin King Jr. quote of "keep moving forward" no matter what you have to do really took on a whole new meaning. I strive to bring awareness and help others in any way possible with my story and where ever I'm at in life. You're not alone and there's still good people in the world
I follow you on TikTok, and this song I loved ever since I first heard it. But now this song takes a different toll on me- I have my first cat who disappeared in August. And it took me a while to see pictures of her and I still cry. I finally can leave photos of her up in my house. But the house isn’t the same without her. I began not able to control my emotions, and my depression began showing itself. Losing my cat sent me overboard. I don’t have kids, she was my baby. It’s been a long 3 months and I just am hoping that she will come back- but there’s a part of me that wants to just believe that she found herself another home that took better care of her than I did, but that thought hits me like a rock. I don’t want someone else to have her, I want her- I know that sounds selfish, but I feel like I can’t get over this and like there’s always going to be a hole in my heart about the size of my cat. 😢 I’m on medicine but it just feels like it’s been helping me feel all this pain, which is good. I don’t want to bottle it up but I just don’t want to feel like a burden on people if I crack while in public. 😢😢 This song is so special to me
Thank you for sharing your gift and being vulnerable with the world, it means more than you know + helps more than you know ❤
-someone trying to overcome their 3 year battle with depression
Yes, it does. I have never been vulnerable around people because I wasn't listened to anything I wanted to. So it's so hard to catch me vulnerable or being available in my vulnerability state. I only get to relate with people who are experiencing what I feel. So being vulnerable is really a strength to have. She's strong being it here.
That is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.... and the most hardest to digest.
Me, almost 50 and right now very grateful for a ( in general) happy life!
This song hit me way too hard. I’ve been battling ocd, Ed’s and TMJD for years now. All invisible being told I was “over reacting” “attention seeking” I was slightly crying for help for so long and seemed like no one cared. I felt like my body had failed me and I was failing everyone around me.
I see so many of you below talking about the stuff you've struggled with and I just want you all to know my heart goes out to every one of you. Be proud and stay courageous.
Baby girl you’re saving my life, I’m 35 and feel it all - my baby girl crochets too! Keep it up !!!
I found this song yesterday and I've had it on repeat ever since. I needed this. I needed to know I wasn't the only one, the part "you couldn't tell but the inside of my head was a living hell I tried my best explaining how it felt" made my heart finally take a breath. It's such a relief Knowing I'm not alone. Depression ALMOST won. Music can really shift your mindset. I feel a lot better . 😞😊
I have symptoms of cushings disease. Never have felt so alone or depressed or confused. Thank you for this beautiful song it helps and hits home
The part that starts at 2:25 lives in my head completely rent free. It is fantastic pop song writing. I wish it happened more in this song. Once is not enough. My brain needs more of it.
I fell in love with your music when I incidentally heard actually happy.. never a day goes by that I haven't played it once. so I hope you are doing okay. because I would love to hear more from your music... love lots, a fan from the Philippines.
When I found this song couldn't believe how well it was capturing how I felt right now. It's been a rough summer for me, and I've never experienced health issues before this, and was going crazy trying to figure out what was wrong. This song is helping me alot
I got sick in 2019. I'm still fighting. This is beautiful and felt everything you said
I always struggle with mental health, I have a hard past but last year I got physically sick. No doctor can find the reason, have multiple diagnosis in different organs but no treatment works. It seems like I won't recover. Also, I was alone, no one was there for me. This song describes the journey of my disease. In my case, describes exactly my physical struggles and how lonely I was. No one knows about this song and how much it means to me, but it gives me warm.
How are you doing?
Tight hugs
These lyrics hit so hard. I heard your song on Spotify and had to come here. Thank you. Thank you so much for this.
As some one who's has struggled with my mental health since I was 4 -5 years old
Many types of mental diagnoses
I feel this song
You feel all alone
No one ever really knows what your truly feeling
You constant feel like you're fighting for your life
This song tells what our mind want to tell but we can't
So relatable. I hate that anyone ever has to feel this way but it’s nice not to be alone. ❤️
Thank you for this song . Beautiful.
YES 😭👏
THIS is the true definition of my first time struggling with depression and anxiety. It still haunts me, those moments, and I still feel upside down at times but able to get myself feeling better sooner. Thank you so much for this! 🙏❤️🩹
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful song! I stumbled upon it by mistake on a day where this was a lot of what I was feeling and it honestly was such a blessing to find. 💕
Thank you for this song.