I would’ve done a roadkill then eaten the dead animal corpse in front of her and then shit it back out into her mouth as she begs for mercy. Sweet, cold blooded mercy.
"Can we hangout after you're done bowling with your dad?" That question was like a spear to the heart. I would have just broke down thinking of a believable response
I was a boy. They were two girls. Can I make it any more obvious? I am the ULTIMATE LOVER on this platform. Don't enter my ch*nnel if you are not above a certain age, dear pu
I'll certainly be using the bowling excuse if things go down the shitter. ("Err, yeah, um I actually forgot.... I'm so sorry, but my uncle Niko wanted to go bowling tonight")
That sounds like the epitome of man to woman awkwardness. It's like a romantic novel that starts with an eruption and ends in tears, except less magical than one might hope. Especially if the eruption comes from one's backside.
If I accidentally farted when I got into the car for a first date I would immediately jump back up and walk backwards back into my house as if time itself had completely reversed. And then never speak that person ever again.
Na, that would make it more uncomfortable and awkward. It would have been better if the person who farted just casually went out and say sorry and let the wind pass through for a moment.
Yeah, cuz then it just means you basically did all that preparation just to fart in someone's car and then ditch them right after like some sort of sick prank
The thing is, if you do fart in front of a girl or boy and you havent been dating long, it's perfect to see how they react to see how wife/husbando material they are, it's not a big deal. Just part of the test
I went on a date with a guy from Tinder, wasn't anything special but like an hour or so after he texts me and asks me to be his girlfriend. I replied with "Hey maybe we should get to know each other first that's a little bit rushed don't you think?" then he started threatening to kill himself because nobody loved him and now "I was rejecting him." fun stuff.
I think the women and men that use tinder use it for different reasons. Dating as a whole is a different thing for most women and most men because of how our society gears it around 100% around men asking (which I know the majority of women don't prefer it that way, but they perceive it as unbecoming to be forward). Men get used to a 98% rejection rate and have to learn to play a numbers game and not get emotionally involved until later on or else they'll end up crippling themselves and ending up fucked up (like the guy in your story). Which is then why women who are in relationships with men are asking "why is he always so emotionally distant?". Meanwhile, women get emotionally attached to men who might never say anything to them out of fear of the aforementioned rejection and live in some sort of weird vacuum, trying to send signals to the right guys and avoid sending signals to the wrong guys so that the right guys might also be interested and pick up on these signals and show interest. Tinder takes all of this and makes it an even smaller, weirder pool to work from. I don't use it, and don't plan to (ever), because as far as I can tell it only amplifies the worst aspects of the already fucked up/weird way people view dating. There also seem to be two entirely different use cases mixing on tinder, where half the userbase wants to use it for casual hookups and half wants to use it for meeting someone new that you might end up dating, and I just don't see how the format can work well for either of those. *TL;DR* The world's a fucked up place, asexuals are lucky. (Minus the whole impossible to find a long term partner thing).
+Devoid4298 +Zach Nordstrom I don't think it's unfortunate, or even incorrect, I highly agree that if someone is literally threatening to end their life just to get into a relationship, that they should just die, it is completely unacceptable to put your life in someone else's hands just to try and get with them...
Vixen Visceral I'm sure a lot of us have been there before. Happened to me twice and has happened at least once to a lot of my friends and I'm currently dealing with a guy whos girlfriend dropped off the face of the earth (who was also my ex and best friend mind you) and now we're kinda like well shit but he's much worse off now with pretty much what you're saying so I'm left here with the bag like "Gee thanks bitch"
Nanien Do you mean you don't understand how someone could stop watching Cr1tikal? Hello, tone and meaning are hard to understand on the internet and I am another victim of such circumstance. I feel you could be talking grammar but now idk.
I feel like a fart is only uncomfortable if you make it uncomfortable. If you own the fart and just run with it, chances are you're both just gonna have a good laugh and move past it. But if you go on a elongated coughing spree like you've been living with AIDS for the past few years, trying to cover up obvious flatulence; it's just gonna be awkward and smelly as fuck.
It’s like when you look at a cute girl. You can’t imagine that girl taking a shit. For some reason, I still deny the fact that girls shit. Why should they? They’re supposed to smell like flowers and soft skin, not ass clouds and doodoo. Girls don’t shit. No way.
he'll say his name kind of offhand in some of his stories, so if you're not really paying attention it kind of flies over you (his name's Charlie). his snapchat is big_moist, which is how people know what his face is.
His emotionless, montone, robotic voice combined with his incredibly hilarious jokes is what differs him from the rest of the youtube. I love your videos, man!
I had a similar experience. Girl looked nothing like her pictures and some of her gums were black. I brought an Xbox over to her house because she said she liked gaming. Her white trash family were yelling at each other as we both awkwardly went up to her room. Then we started playing a game and it was like her first time ever holding a controller. Her room was a mess, kids screaming downstairs, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I acted like a gentlemen through the whole ordeal but I knew there was no fucking way I was ever going to talk to or hang out with this girl again. She had the personality of a wet blanket.
Sounds like there is more empty girls in the usa, nothing like that would happen in my country, i know some girls like you are saing but thay not pretend to be "gamer girls" or anything like that
I had a similar experience to that once. I met this girl on Facebook, and she looked cute in her pictures. When I came to meet her, she was fat and pretty ugly. Really terrible teeth. She barely talked to me the whole time. Luckily she brought her older sister. She was nice to talk to. But, once I got to their house I got so uncomfortable. Their family trashy, and everyone was smoking cigarettes including 12 year olds in front of their parents. The girl I was with was 14 (I was 15), and she was smoking. Then, one of the brothers coughed up a bunch of chew all over my clothes and I had to wash it off in their bathroom. It was a terrible experience.
Alan Bareiro you will never meet a decent girl at a night club. if she will get on you knowing you for one night, she could just as easily do it again to someone else the day after
I never quite understood why people get into these weird situations in which they try to avoid being "rude" to catfishers... It's not what I would consider rude to tell someone straight up that you're not okay with them misrepresenting themself and that you're not interested in going on the date because you feel they're deceptive.
Visage because some people like myself have a very shit personality trait where making situations feel confrontational or awkward is worse than being shot in cock
Idk, I wish I was more direct to people, but I'm just uncapable of being rude...or imposing myself...I don't want to make people feel bad even when I have the reasons to. Once this guy in the train kept hitting me with his elbow while holding the phone, and taking all the space forcing me to literally stick myself to the window. But I couldn't bring up courage to tell him to be polite and stay in his space. I should work on this.
idk man, if someone catfished me like this, farted a fat one in my car then started to question my excuse I'd be flipping tables and start slapping everything like Vasiliy Kamotsky. Don't know how cr1tikal managed to be so nice
I'm pretty sure i just played a match of cs with Cr1TiKaL, he had the picture, he sounded exactly fucking like him, and he was funny as fuck. I know he wasnt a soundboard because he did an anthony sullivan thing that wasnt in any of the videos
"What if Cr1tiKal is the owner of pornhub?" did you see that? i removed the "like," and the sentence makes perfect sense! CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU HAVE TO ADD THAT SHIT?!
Shout out to my car for saving me from my first and last Tinder date. The guy randomly put his mouth on my shoulder and...made noises. Luckily my car was like "I GOTCHU" and the brake booster gave out, making me cut it short so I could drop it off at my dad's auto shop.
Your story reminded me about this time i was stuck in traffic behind a fat woman on a moped. For over a mile I had the smell of body odor stuck traveling with me. Being trapped in a situation sucks man.
I can understand not wanting to fart or do anything embarrassing on the first couple dates but once the relationship takes off you gotta get used to that stuff. Think of it as a trust thing. You fart, they fart, the dog farts. Everyone wins.
charlie is just such a genuinely good person like?? this girl rips ass in his car and they have a perfectly below-average date and he knows there's not gonna be another one but he still checks up on her later to make sure she's feeling better? damn. good shit thats a warm and fuzzy feel good story right there
Dirty girls are mostly happy when someone cares for them - and are dirty in bed. If she farts a lot, it's probably because of a loose anus. Or she eating alot of unhealty shit.
I have heard a lot of Tinder stories and this one had me laughing so hard that I thought I was going to pass out. Thankfully I come from a time where Tinder and Facebook did not exist. I met my husband in college. It has been eleven years and we are still going strong.
3:07 His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin' What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
Worst date you could ever have? That sounds like a challenge! Worst date you've had so far. I went on a date once where we can back to my place after the movie and I was like "hey I'm really tired and want to sleep" I figured he'd show himself out after he gathered his stuff. Anyway, I took a nap on my couch and when I woke up he was sitting on the edge of the couch looming over me and said "I took pictures of you while you were asleep" creepiest shit ever. And apparently he didn't have a ride home so he waited for me to wake up and take him.
Yohoat he wasn't a complete stranger. We had mutual friends. Also there was someone else at the house as well. And I'm not entirely sure what happened I was so tired all of the sudden like as soon as I put my head down I was out
I had a friend in college who opened my door (roommate didn't usually lock it) and came in to ask if I wanted to grab lunch, saw I was asleep and took a picture of me. I didn't know about it until I saw it in my feed on deviantart. He'd thrown a filter on it and called it "art".
Ashley Fredenburg Hell no, bruh stayed in the house the whole time. I honestly would of had a heart attack if I woke up with a stranger barely 10ft away from me.
I should NOT have listened to this in public I nearly pissed myself and had to fake my own coughing fits to hide my snorts of laughter while sitting at the library front desk.
Damn. The only other time I've actually seen "mephitic" or "mephitis" used in a sentence is in H.P. Lovecraft stories, and I've certainly never heard it spoken aloud. Hats off to ya, that's some esoteric shit, dude.
I went to a party with a QT girl from Tinder. We got drunk, she got crossfaded, which would've been fine if she wasn't asthmatic. She began to have an asthma attack and she didn't have an inhaler, but luckily for her, I was a paramedic school dropout and I knew about this shit. I was sitting next to her on the porch trying to get her breathing normalized when her overprotective friends decided that I didn't know her well enough to help her. They took her down the porch stairs and walked her across the lawn where she collapsed. I rushed down to make sure she was breathing alright but her friends were causing her breathing to be stressed because they were freaking out, yelling, and trying to move her body. I told them to shut up and then was promptly accused of trying to rape her. A bunch of her friends became hostile toward me, yelling threats, more accusations of attempted rape, and one of her "okay" female friends led me into the house and snuck me out that back door. We ended up in the driveway and I was very drunk and lost hope of smashing my date, so I start making out with the friend. I overhear someone yelling near the house that he wanted to kill me, so I ask the friend if she can drive me home. I'm riding in her car, and she tells me that the girl only invited me to the party because her other sexual interest couldn't come. So I ask the friend if she wants to come over to my place and she said yes, PROBABLY out of sympathy. A little hanky panky and 5 hours of sleep later, I get a text from the asthmatic chick saying "yeah it's true, you were my second choice" so I said my goodbyes and thought about what the fuck just happened. I've been told that one of her male friends still wants to fight me to this day.
>worst tinder date ever
>no attempted kidney theft
pffft amateur
Well the describe says it was the greatest date of All Time.
Would have liked this comment, but meme arrows
kek
description* No i can't edit that reply because i am on mobile.
anthony copper
I would've just went with the old man.
I would’ve done a roadkill then eaten the dead animal corpse in front of her and then shit it back out into her mouth as she begs for mercy. Sweet, cold blooded mercy.
@@swaggypanda1808 im gonna pretend i never saw this, sajan b
@@swaggypanda1808 holy shit
Sajan B omg that sounds like the perfect date🥺
@@swaggypanda1808 Such a perfect date dont exists irl shamefully
"For a moment, I had exited this corporeal world through a fart."
-Cr1tikal 2016
Put that shit on my grave.
lel....
i cant put that shit on your grave, but i can put that lady’s car shits on your grave
I love this
Oizahk Hyechs 😂😂😂
Who’s Cr1tikal
The guard in this game has the eye sight of a pokemon trainer
"how old is your dad?" 15
I know 1 year late but there 15 likes
@@sideways198 dude two months and he got 155
215 likes lol
227 baby
276 now
>girl used ham blast >it's super effective >Charlie fainted
iAmDaos it's a critikal hit!
Jayce, you win.
ur mom xd i second that lol
**Pokèmon Battle Music Intensifies**
lmfao
lmao if I let out a rancid fart in my date's car I'd be the one making an excuse to leave instead of interrogating his excuse...
Do you like kale chips and feminist literature? lol
D3w10n chill nothing is more satisfying than melting the heart of the toughest white feminist lol my best date was with a white feminist hehe
and now you are just creepy
D3w10n lol k
I would just roll down the windows and say that smells like shit, than tell her that she isn't the one in the picture and to get the fuck out.
Cr1tikal is starring in the next season of Catfish on MTV
Random Videos - Cr1TiKaL Full Streams Exactly what I was thinking!
Random Videos - Cr1TiKaL Full Streams
Let you go
What kind of car?
she should've cracked a window. if i let out a weapon of ass destruction, i let down a window to minimize the damage
Unless the guys into that sort of thing, then you know he's going to take you to Taco Bell and get your farts as stinky as he can.
Harrison Hotchkiss what
:)
TheBunnygirl20 "a weapon of ass destruction" I'm crying
you clever, clever human
I'm just happy to hear a story of Cr1TiKal and a girl and he's not the one that made it terrible and awkward
Either way, people pay attention more to venting if it's funny.
"Can we hangout after you're done bowling with your dad?" That question was like a spear to the heart. I would have just broke down thinking of a believable response
Jake Endoobie dgd hell ya
I love you guys
dgd yeee boi
yeea dgd
riding a rhino pico de gallo
These stories are inspiring, you should write a book Charlie. The title could be 'Turbo Tales for Titty Twisting Toddlers'.
Or "Everybody Farts, by Charlie the Critical Penguin."
I was a boy. They were two girls. Can I make it any more obvious? I am the ULTIMATE LOVER on this platform. Don't enter my ch*nnel if you are not above a certain age, dear pu
I'll certainly be using some of these lines in the near future.
y-you too
I'll certainly be using the bowling excuse if things go down the shitter.
("Err, yeah, um I actually forgot.... I'm so sorry, but my uncle Niko wanted to go bowling tonight")
"Yahar matey, yer cooter be wet and me willey wants to set sail"
I'm using the pirate one
Your uncle Niko? Don't you mean your cousin Roman?
When he said even god knew she had farted I just started dying
Nebalon Trebule we are all dying
@@icvfmfk
_Very slowly..._
RIP in F
Steals a convertible.
“Cheer up sport your farting and shitting in my car “ I basically died
About the video, and not the commentary:
Holy shit those guards have some serious night blindness.
Kind of like skyrim except it isn't night blindness its general blindness
sneaking in front of 2 thalmer an hour ago and i thought it was BS, so i just stood up
There is one part in which the guard waits for his character to get out of the way.
5:59
Yes, thank you
@@codythompson9973lol
If I had the time...
I would spend it all at animating his stories..;-;
Do et
Well around a year ago since this comment, I’m thinking that this is enough time bro.
「スカイ」PROJECT
But still. Like. He may not have much free time even throughout a year. Animating takes freaking forever.
Crude Gestures yeah could be.
do it
That sounds like the epitome of man to woman awkwardness. It's like a romantic novel that starts with an eruption and ends in tears, except less magical than one might hope. Especially if the eruption comes from one's backside.
Doug Stakk well said
The smelly smell that smells smelly...
Rudy De La Torre that kind of smelly smell
O_O ...anchovies...
nematodes
scitechian ANCHOVIES!
*meep intensifies*
If I accidentally farted when I got into the car for a first date I would immediately jump back up and walk backwards back into my house as if time itself had completely reversed. And then never speak that person ever again.
Na, that would make it more uncomfortable and awkward. It would have been better if the person who farted just casually went out and say sorry and let the wind pass through for a moment.
Yeah, cuz then it just means you basically did all that preparation just to fart in someone's car and then ditch them right after like some sort of sick prank
Jordan Price it’s just a prank bro
@@jordanprice9285 The thought of someone doing this killed me 💀
@@jordanprice9285 xD I'm dead lol
the reason why dating makes me uncomfortable is because i'll have no way to tell when its appropriate to begin farting around them
aldjf aidufuaod when you are fucking its the best time to fart
The thing is, if you do fart in front of a girl or boy and you havent been dating long, it's perfect to see how they react to see how wife/husbando material they are, it's not a big deal. Just part of the test
you feel it in your heart.
or your ass
DEEP IN MY KOKORO
Hi pyrocynical
I went on a date with a guy from Tinder, wasn't anything special but like an hour or so after he texts me and asks me to be his girlfriend. I replied with "Hey maybe we should get to know each other first that's a little bit rushed don't you think?" then he started threatening to kill himself because nobody loved him and now "I was rejecting him." fun stuff.
I think the women and men that use tinder use it for different reasons. Dating as a whole is a different thing for most women and most men because of how our society gears it around 100% around men asking (which I know the majority of women don't prefer it that way, but they perceive it as unbecoming to be forward).
Men get used to a 98% rejection rate and have to learn to play a numbers game and not get emotionally involved until later on or else they'll end up crippling themselves and ending up fucked up (like the guy in your story). Which is then why women who are in relationships with men are asking "why is he always so emotionally distant?". Meanwhile, women get emotionally attached to men who might never say anything to them out of fear of the aforementioned rejection and live in some sort of weird vacuum, trying to send signals to the right guys and avoid sending signals to the wrong guys so that the right guys might also be interested and pick up on these signals and show interest.
Tinder takes all of this and makes it an even smaller, weirder pool to work from. I don't use it, and don't plan to (ever), because as far as I can tell it only amplifies the worst aspects of the already fucked up/weird way people view dating. There also seem to be two entirely different use cases mixing on tinder, where half the userbase wants to use it for casual hookups and half wants to use it for meeting someone new that you might end up dating, and I just don't see how the format can work well for either of those.
*TL;DR* The world's a fucked up place, asexuals are lucky. (Minus the whole impossible to find a long term partner thing).
+Devoid4298 +Zach Nordstrom I don't think it's unfortunate, or even incorrect, I highly agree that if someone is literally threatening to end their life just to get into a relationship, that they should just die, it is completely unacceptable to put your life in someone else's hands just to try and get with them...
Vixen Visceral Wew, dodged a bullet there.
Huh. That happened to a friend of mine. It's actually at the top of my fuckboy checklist
Vixen Visceral I'm sure a lot of us have been there before. Happened to me twice and has happened at least once to a lot of my friends and I'm currently dealing with a guy whos girlfriend dropped off the face of the earth (who was also my ex and best friend mind you) and now we're kinda like well shit but he's much worse off now with pretty much what you're saying so I'm left here with the bag like "Gee thanks bitch"
Why beat around the bush for the sake of politeness towards someone who just mustard gassed you in your car?
I stop watching Cr1tikal for a bit then check in and find the most hilarious video in a while.
I do not understand the term "stop watching Cr1tikal"
Nanien Do you mean you don't understand how someone could stop watching Cr1tikal? Hello, tone and meaning are hard to understand on the internet and I am another victim of such circumstance. I feel you could be talking grammar but now idk.
It was intended as a joke, sorry for the confusion. :)
Nanien It's completely fine. My bad too. Cute pic, by the way.
Misty Dusk It's all right. And thanks! :D
If only I were lucky enough to shit in Charlie's car.
BooBoo Kittie
BooBoo Kittie Fuck
Loool, anything to interact with him
It'll be just like meeting anyone else. Just because he has a famous RUclips channel doesn't mean he is a second coming of Colonel Sanders.
Shit in*
I feel like a fart is only uncomfortable if you make it uncomfortable. If you own the fart and just run with it, chances are you're both just gonna have a good laugh and move past it. But if you go on a elongated coughing spree like you've been living with AIDS for the past few years, trying to cover up obvious flatulence; it's just gonna be awkward and smelly as fuck.
I learned that the hard way
It’s like when you look at a cute girl. You can’t imagine that girl taking a shit. For some reason, I still deny the fact that girls shit. Why should they? They’re supposed to smell like flowers and soft skin, not ass clouds and doodoo. Girls don’t shit. No way.
Micah Vitko lol me too
@@atalantiesoterica4061 No fucking way bro. It's impossible.
Micah Vitko Wtf
every video you post m8 is like entering a bar and not knowing what kind of bar it is; gay,straight,lesbian,fetish or dominatrix.
i love this comment bc it implies that being a dominatrix isnt a kink thing
A dominatrix bar? Whne was the last time you went to one of them?
Last time I was this early, we didn't know what Cr1tikal's name or appearance was.
Charles Funtime I still don't actually. which video is it that he does tell us
he'll say his name kind of offhand in some of his stories, so if you're not really paying attention it kind of flies over you (his name's Charlie). his snapchat is big_moist, which is how people know what his face is.
he says his name in several videos but the first was "about me" we know his appearence from his snapchat "Big_moist"
He's also done full-body collabs with Funhaus.
the collabs with funhaus was also how i got into watching this channel
Thanks for sharing you're story. You're loved and accepted here.
But at least your grammar is correct.
Right... I'll go fuck myself then XD
But unfortunately vibing............that's, doesn't belong.
***** ugh. got me there. curse fat fingers and tiny buttons.
His emotionless, montone, robotic voice combined with his incredibly hilarious jokes is what differs him from the rest of the youtube. I love your videos, man!
I wonder how good this guys' essays are. Fucking stellar vocabulary if I do say so myself
I came
I saw
but mainly I came
Epic
Is your father Roman Bellic?
Uncle niko made a mean spaghetti at the family dinner that night.
marshallbananaa did they have sex sandwiches?
marshallbananaa He actually assaulted a hotdog vendor for free hotdogs that day
"Hey Niko, how bout a drink?"
"Cr1tikal, it is your father, Roman Bellic! It has been awhile, son! How about we do some bowling?"
I had a similar experience. Girl looked nothing like her pictures and some of her gums were black. I brought an Xbox over to her house because she said she liked gaming. Her white trash family were yelling at each other as we both awkwardly went up to her room. Then we started playing a game and it was like her first time ever holding a controller. Her room was a mess, kids screaming downstairs, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I acted like a gentlemen through the whole ordeal but I knew there was no fucking way I was ever going to talk to or hang out with this girl again. She had the personality of a wet blanket.
DarkKingBowser feel sorry for you hahaha
Sounds like there is more empty girls in the usa, nothing like that would happen in my country, i know some girls like you are saing but thay not pretend to be "gamer girls" or anything like that
Great Danton Your right I game with a loaf of bread.
I had a similar experience to that once. I met this girl on Facebook, and she looked cute in her pictures. When I came to meet her, she was fat and pretty ugly. Really terrible teeth. She barely talked to me the whole time. Luckily she brought her older sister. She was nice to talk to. But, once I got to their house I got so uncomfortable. Their family trashy, and everyone was smoking cigarettes including 12 year olds in front of their parents. The girl I was with was 14 (I was 15), and she was smoking. Then, one of the brothers coughed up a bunch of chew all over my clothes and I had to wash it off in their bathroom. It was a terrible experience.
@@codythompson9973 bruh
Wow this channel is what I've needed
Welcome
My dog fucking farted as soon as you said the smell hit you
You know I was kinda thinking on joining Tinder once I had a stable job... this kinda changes everything...
If anything you should quit tinder once you get a stable job.
Oh well, I will have to practice flirting on night clubs...
Alan Bareiro
Always check what she named you as a contact.. run when you see "free meal ticket"
Alan Bareiro you will never meet a decent girl at a night club. if she will get on you knowing you for one night, she could just as easily do it again to someone else the day after
BlackPillMgtow Hehe!
I never quite understood why people get into these weird situations in which they try to avoid being "rude" to catfishers... It's not what I would consider rude to tell someone straight up that you're not okay with them misrepresenting themself and that you're not interested in going on the date because you feel they're deceptive.
Visage because some people like myself have a very shit personality trait where making situations feel confrontational or awkward is worse than being shot in cock
@@Aaron19987 Nailed it.
Idk, I wish I was more direct to people, but I'm just uncapable of being rude...or imposing myself...I don't want to make people feel bad even when I have the reasons to. Once this guy in the train kept hitting me with his elbow while holding the phone, and taking all the space forcing me to literally stick myself to the window. But I couldn't bring up courage to tell him to be polite and stay in his space. I should work on this.
@@EveTheRaviolo Cant be worked on. You will be forever like that you worthless human.
idk man, if someone catfished me like this, farted a fat one in my car then started to question my excuse I'd be flipping tables and start slapping everything like Vasiliy Kamotsky. Don't know how cr1tikal managed to be so nice
I would buy audio stories he tells if made available.
Also known as audiobooks
my worst date on tinder ended up with a girl saying men can't be raped. Only time I walked out of a bar leaving the my date with the bill.
Good choice. She was probably planning on spiking your drink.
Fucking brutal.
Tbf she’s right legally. Women can’t be changed with rape, only sexual assault.
"Salmon sugar pancakes"
THANK YOU! somebody DID mention it lmao. Charlie is a genius.
Charlie you should write novels. Your imagery and metaphors are some of the most entertaining I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure i just played a match of cs with Cr1TiKaL, he had the picture, he sounded exactly fucking like him, and he was funny as fuck. I know he wasnt a soundboard because he did an anthony sullivan thing that wasnt in any of the videos
sick
cool
I played a match of Guns of Icarus with him once, alas we were not on the same crew but it was pretty amusing to hear him in the match's lobby lol
I played CSGO with this guy called Dave once.
XBLRiTaN I played with him on CS once aswell
I want Cr1tikal to make a video on how to make the perfect Tinder profile, that could be pretty hilarious.
Dean Ross just like the black ops 1 emblem tutorial
Brenden Fraiser.
This is my bedtime story tonight
Is it still your bedtime story
Holy shit finding you on Tinder would be glORIOUS
Bobby Roode glorious?
Harrison Hotchkiss
@RexXflash lol
Tinder is a joke. She was probably more attractive than everyone I've ever dated.
grinder's were it's at bud.
Yehus that joke failed
420 blazeit Along with the poz
What if Cr1tiKal is the owner of pornhub?
8 months, I removed the "like" part.
Hank Hill Now that's an offer I can't refuse.
Plot twisst
Samuel
he is the owner of meatspin tho even better imo anf yours
"What if Cr1tiKal is the owner of pornhub?" did you see that? i removed the "like," and the sentence makes perfect sense!
CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU HAVE TO ADD THAT SHIT?!
I got this game for under a dollar on sale. Absolute waste of money.
Ceroki how was it a waste
What, you mean you would rather spend
SalmonAniminim beautifully stated
ThisName DoesntMatter Poor gameplay, writing, voice acting. The stealth is terrible, the A.I is even worse.
Shout out to my car for saving me from my first and last Tinder date. The guy randomly put his mouth on my shoulder and...made noises. Luckily my car was like "I GOTCHU" and the brake booster gave out, making me cut it short so I could drop it off at my dad's auto shop.
Sorry I farted in your car Charlie.
You’re welcome
I'm always eating when I see he releases a new video. I watch it and end up choking on food from dying of laughter
yo real talk of someone puts up a fake pic on a dating site and its obvious ima flame them then just leave
i envy you
GANK SPANK Savage life, nah but fr though i would of stopped her the second i saw her. Probably would of just pulles off full speed.
Your story reminded me about this time i was stuck in traffic behind a fat woman on a moped. For over a mile I had the smell of body odor stuck traveling with me. Being trapped in a situation sucks man.
marshallbananaa oh Gawd. how horrible.
marshallbananaa Turn your AC on recirculate instead of vent next time.
marshallbananaa BAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!!! I'm sorry but I bursted out in laughter 😂😂😂😂
The video that made me a fan. Couldnt have chosen a better video to start from
I understand completely when it comes to not being able to handle a situation where someone is crying in front of you.
"For a moment, I exited this corporeal world through a fart" That's one hell of a sentence
what the hell I've been saying 'schmeckledorf' for the mast 3 weeks and out of the fucking blue Cr1tikal says it wtf
Kangaroonie aw shoot foiled again
TELEFONMAST!
Bamboozled once again
I liked that he called to check up on her after
I can understand not wanting to fart or do anything embarrassing on the first couple dates but once the relationship takes off you gotta get used to that stuff. Think of it as a trust thing. You fart, they fart, the dog farts. Everyone wins.
Yeah but farting in someones car, like just fart before you get in.
charlie is just such a genuinely good person like?? this girl rips ass in his car and they have a perfectly below-average date and he knows there's not gonna be another one but he still checks up on her later to make sure she's feeling better? damn. good shit thats a warm and fuzzy feel good story right there
Charlie, considering the fuck ups you've had with women before, she doesn't sound that bad.
Yeah at least he didn't end up pissing on his shirt
Dirty girls are mostly happy when someone cares for them - and are dirty in bed.
If she farts a lot, it's probably because of a loose anus.
Or she eating alot of unhealty shit.
Whens the wedding
169th
There's a reason why these people are on Tinder...
2:29 it can't possibly get worse than this
1:28 that's not even a word that I agree with ya
"Come on champ", this line of dialogue tickled my funny bone.
This video makes me so moist that i just want to sail to Galapagos with the grizzly bears
Why not sail it with Charlie?
Hampus Pamrén hot
are you a cheeseburger?
adj789 that fuckin killed me
if I was king of the world
Hey it's your dad, want to go bowling?
Depends how the date goes with this cute girl
ABORT MISSION
I REPEAT ABORT MISSION
69th
I have heard a lot of Tinder stories and this one had me laughing so hard that I thought I was going to pass out. Thankfully I come from a time where Tinder and Facebook did not exist. I met my husband in college. It has been eleven years and we are still going strong.
Ok boomer
@@Carcosahead woobie
ok boomer
What 2020 cod should have been
mhm
Sadly my farts have made many guys leave me too. But I finally met a man who farts on me back and we rate each others farts.
I don't think I've read a finer description of true love.
Hachikuji Mayoi relationship goals
that's true love right there
Yarr, he farts on me back.
Hachikuji Mayoi I'm so happy I don't have to see my waifu fart, one of the benefits of 2D.
I'm fucking dying at 2:10
wait... wait I may be this girl.. Im so humilated and I live in tampa and I have bad grades and I fart in strangers cars.😢😢😢
Carbeeezy welp check what he looks like
was he super attractive? because that might be him.
Carbeeezy how dare you catfish Charlie.
Carbeeezy lmao
Do you also catfish people?
3:07
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
imagine going on a date with cr1tikal I'd shit my pants too
Worst date you could ever have? That sounds like a challenge! Worst date you've had so far.
I went on a date once where we can back to my place after the movie and I was like "hey I'm really tired and want to sleep" I figured he'd show himself out after he gathered his stuff. Anyway, I took a nap on my couch and when I woke up he was sitting on the edge of the couch looming over me and said "I took pictures of you while you were asleep" creepiest shit ever. And apparently he didn't have a ride home so he waited for me to wake up and take him.
Why the hell would you sleep when there's a stranger in your home who hasn't left yet??
Yohoat he wasn't a complete stranger. We had mutual friends. Also there was someone else at the house as well. And I'm not entirely sure what happened I was so tired all of the sudden like as soon as I put my head down I was out
I had a friend in college who opened my door (roommate didn't usually lock it) and came in to ask if I wanted to grab lunch, saw I was asleep and took a picture of me. I didn't know about it until I saw it in my feed on deviantart. He'd thrown a filter on it and called it "art".
+Ashley Fredenburg you were "unusually tired"? maybe he roofied you or something.
Ashley Fredenburg Hell no, bruh stayed in the house the whole time. I honestly would of had a heart attack if I woke up with a stranger barely 10ft away from me.
and here I am just wishing a girl would talk to me online
adj789 with an icon like that, good luck
hahahaha omg i died
ding dong u r wrong dang I knew I should've changed my icon
adj789 i came on that picture in less than 5 seconds
Tovarich Cheeki Breeki a true hero
thanks for the story bro. It made my day a little easier, was feeling shitty but you cheered me up.
This channel is a gold mine
As funny as this is i would actually like to hear a happy story from his life one day
I'd have a breakdown trying to figure out what to say in such an uncomfortable situation.
is your dad's name roman
Jasen Hunt
Roman wants to go to the strip club
ehh cousin let's go bowling!
Charlie it's your father, why don't you take me bowlin?
I was on a dating site I had to pay money for. I got them to refund my money after only getting 1 date in 6 years.
After hearing that story I'm actually kinda glad I never got a date
He should’ve pulled off as soon as she walked out 💯
Look at this chad, some people dream about girls letting it out in their car
I should NOT have listened to this in public I nearly pissed myself and had to fake my own coughing fits to hide my snorts of laughter while sitting at the library front desk.
"For a moment I had exited this corporeal world through a fart" This is why I'm subscribed. If I had been drinking something I'd need a new keyboard.
Damn. The only other time I've actually seen "mephitic" or "mephitis" used in a sentence is in H.P. Lovecraft stories, and I've certainly never heard it spoken aloud.
Hats off to ya, that's some esoteric shit, dude.
the shitting in the car story was one of the funniest things I have ever heard. awesome
6:43 That would be a great origin story for the "cya" at the end of every Critikal video.
peak content
Cold War is a great way to phrase how my tinder experience is as in nothing happens
I don't know but I somehow experienced the smell from his explanation
I'm amazed how entertained by him just telling random ass stories. I absolutely love them. They are sometimes his best videos.
"Salmon sugar pancakes".
Im getting Vietnam flashbacks
This has the same energy as Brian Griffin from Family Guy
I went to a party with a QT girl from Tinder. We got drunk, she got crossfaded, which would've been fine if she wasn't asthmatic. She began to have an asthma attack and she didn't have an inhaler, but luckily for her, I was a paramedic school dropout and I knew about this shit. I was sitting next to her on the porch trying to get her breathing normalized when her overprotective friends decided that I didn't know her well enough to help her. They took her down the porch stairs and walked her across the lawn where she collapsed. I rushed down to make sure she was breathing alright but her friends were causing her breathing to be stressed because they were freaking out, yelling, and trying to move her body. I told them to shut up and then was promptly accused of trying to rape her. A bunch of her friends became hostile toward me, yelling threats, more accusations of attempted rape, and one of her "okay" female friends led me into the house and snuck me out that back door. We ended up in the driveway and I was very drunk and lost hope of smashing my date, so I start making out with the friend. I overhear someone yelling near the house that he wanted to kill me, so I ask the friend if she can drive me home. I'm riding in her car, and she tells me that the girl only invited me to the party because her other sexual interest couldn't come. So I ask the friend if she wants to come over to my place and she said yes, PROBABLY out of sympathy. A little hanky panky and 5 hours of sleep later, I get a text from the asthmatic chick saying "yeah it's true, you were my second choice" so I said my goodbyes and thought about what the fuck just happened.
I've been told that one of her male friends still wants to fight me to this day.
I just woke up from a heavy nap. The first two and a half minutes were enough to "WAKE ME UP... WAKE ME UP INSIDE"