3 Things I Do When Existence Feels Like A Burden
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- Опубликовано: 20 мар 2024
- Some days, existence feels like a chore, and admitting that can be tough. I know our brains are inconsistent and illogical, which can make life challenging. But acknowledging these feelings doesn't mean giving up.
Living with depression or anxiety adds layers of complexity to self-care. I've learned strategies to make existence more tolerable, especially during tough times.
I'm sharing three crucial rules that have helped me navigate the darkest moments. I think you'll find them helpful as well.
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But I do care.
I Pray for Strength and Safety every morning. At 66 y/o I'm just burned out. My energy level has dropped off so dramatically just due to age.
But I'm Thankful I am Healthy. I just get through the days. I have no husband, kids or grandkids so the only reason I get out of bed is for a Great Cup Of Coffee and go from there. Best Wishes To All And God Bless! 😊 🙏 ❤️
I add hot chocolate mix to my instant coffee, eat a fig bar, take a prescription pill and a multi vitamin pill, have another cup of coffee and eat another fig bar . The year I was 66 was very stressful. I spent a few days in the hospital with pneumonia -- in a room with a 90-year old retired artist who was not supposed to get out of her bed -- but she did --so I had to push the button to call the nurse for her.
I'm 83 now.
I'm 66. Every morning I wake up with this. So, I force myself to get up early and sit outside, drink water and journal while I listen to 1 min shorts that are uplifting. Then I dance to a 3 minute song. Its gone by about 30 mins. I always have a great day because I have decided to be happy. It still feels impossible every. Single. Morning.
it takes a lot of will power to shake low energy / vibes off. You must be a really strong person. Great!
Hugs ❤
I’m 52 & have been waking up pretty much every morning feeling depressed as well. I lie in bed too long instead of getting up. I should just get up as soon as I wake up because my negative thought just get worse as I lie there.
@@Ikr2025 I can relate. I have much anxiety and wale up so fatigued I can't get up. It furthers negative thoughts and having a weak self impression. Once I can get up it gets better although not completely resolved its comforting.
It sounds easier than it is at the time but if you can fight the heavy lethargy it helps develop will power. Just small steps mean a lot!
I like that you push forward. Thanks your post helps.
I feel like I wasted my life. I ruined everything. I now just feel like I am existing and waiting to die.
This is deep but I can relate can we have a do over😏
Same
Me too
I feel this on a spiritual level
It sounds twee but helping others makes you feel better, it really does.❤
Yeah, this feels like me most days. Everything feels overwhelming and feels like a chore.
wolfie, i feel ya.. me too pretty much mostly; it’s them teeny-mini moments of joy, when i walk into my exercise class; suuper nice trainers; good morning exchanges and ten second conversations at the grocery store… purrs from my kitt-cats; the breeze ruffling the tree leaves.. teeny-tiny mini moments.. inching along..☺️☺️.. it IS DEF a hard gig here.. sending, i totally get ya, hugs..
You might have adhd. It might be about breaking things down into steps.
@@onceuponanexploration6048 I think you are so right! Actually that's how I get through and function. I have learned to break almost everything down into steps. It really helps!
@@LoneWolf-sy5ht And then you realise you're on a repeating cycle. Round and round and not seeming to go anywhere. I'm very aware of the repeating cycle at the moment - but then I might have made this prison for myself with trying to strictly follow important routines while waiting for something to change or lift which is where what Lesley talked about comes into it. It's a state of mind, Lesley. You're feeling enjoyment from those little, but critical, things. You're on the good stuff. That's what life is all about. We're in this perpetual loop but there is nothing predictable about which way the wind will blow at any given time. Long may you continue to feel delight at the rustling leaves etc.! I do, too, sometimes (very momentarily) but along with the subtle delights come the subtle dismays and they are pretty much cancelling each other out. For every honey bee there are multiple petrol heads. And every drifting cloud is dwarfed by the unsolicited mail. And I have to search for the bees and clouds whereas the screaming engine of the petrol head and the junk mail is always ready to find me. I wonder if it's possible to completely invert delight and dismay so that somebody taking the junction, outside, in third gear makes me feel safe and content. Imagine how bankable that would be.
@@batintheattic7293 Wow, very interesting perspective. I will be conscious and look for the delight in those little but sweet joys of life, like cuddling up with my dog.
Life itself feels like an impossible burden. Even basic necessities are too expensive. Work is overwhelming. Relationships are parasitic, manipulative, and dysfunctional. And the world just gets more crazy and stupid as time goes on. We’re now living in a real-life dystopia ruled by the scum of humanity. Why do we have to live like this? 😫
I feel exactly the same way. Getting to be too much to bare..
@@bigchief2331keep going...you matter ❤
Exactly this. I live for my doggo. Can't be dealing with humans any more.
Jesus said fear not for I have overcome the world.
Is this the depressive persons' view or reality?
I live with this constantly- not caring to exist is different than being suicidal and so many people don't understand.
My sentiments exactly! 🙌
Yes, one is active and one is still
Thank you for articulating that so well.
I cancelled my dentist appointment just now. And I NEED some dental work. It feels as though just GOING to the dentist is as hard as going across the country in a covered wagon! Fact is. The dentist is close to where I live. But taking a shower, and getting dressed feels like too much work?!!
Same with me like just going to get my hair done
Totally agree with you.
Youre so me
Me too….
can’t even force myself to make it down the hall for my remote job the last 2 weeks
I get you...I neglected my dental appointments for a decade (for various reasons) - and returned to a much bigger bill than I could imagine. I wish I went more regularly now. Usually leaving it results in bigger issues down the line. I got myself to choosing to deal with it now rather than .... and that choice was a helpful force. I still procrastinate on things, but some things, like health learnt the hard way.
Oh my. I needed this. I am a single woman who raised a son. He's gone now. I was doing dishes this morning. Life is just work. I work until 6, if I cook I'm not eating and cleaned up until 8:30, I sleep and do it all over again. My free time is laundry, housework, yardwork. I'm so tired of living. I'm completely over it.
Can definitely relate to this😢
Admittedly the loss of my very much loved husband last year has had a huge impact, but as he was diagnosed for ten years with dementia, it was also a huge relief to know that he was out of his suffering. I’ve got to a point where nothing I do has any positive impact, and it all feels so totally worthless. I’ve never felt quite as void as I do now, despite having depressive episodes over fifty years. I sincerely hope that there is an end to this.
I warmly suggest join a gym to see if you can find most people in your area to grab a coffee or just stay healthy together. Sending hugs
Getting a puppy might help.
Same not to mention being there for everyone and then no one being there for you, raising your kids then they’re gone and they only talk to you when they want something, but never even bother to ask how you are or anything. Depressing, every single day i wish i wasn’t here.
I feel as humans we were programmed to get up and do what we want at our own pace, we was not meant to get up and go to work 9-5 and that is why so many people are depressed including me. ❤
Yes, i had these exact thoughts this morning. We live such unnatural lives.
@@MrPausenbrot I hope something big happens soon. We have only lived like this for 200 years. I see the benefits such as travel, comfort, healthcare etc but it comes with a price selling your soul being a wage slave. I wish it was hot in the UK 🇬🇧. I would go off grid for sure but it is too cold for me to go wild haha
I agree, going to the same job day after day with the same people, doing the same thing day after day is not natural.
@@kimhandley1523I live where it can be hot in the summer and also some winters. I’d rather live where it’s cooler. You need air conditioning or at least an an evaporator cooler here for 4-5 months out of the year otherwise it’s miserable!
@@mossyoakmom8880 it isn't 'cooler' in the UK it is freezing, raining, dark and miserable winters haha xx
I have to convince myself every morning to brush my teeth. Force myself to eat breakfast. It all feels like a huge, unending chore.
Scott, I am in my 60s, and I can tell you without a doubt that a lot of people keep going only because of their kids. I can’t tell you how many times over many years they were the only reason I got out of bed in the morning. Not just depression, but I was very sick some of that time too. that is such a good observation that often we will do things for others that we would not do for ourselves.
So true...same situation. Both physical and mental health. I am 56, and I stay alive for my 2 grandchildren and my only child, their mother, my daughter. But it's difficult. I am indifferent to existence right now... it's so hard.
@juliearcand2358 be glad you have your children or daughter in your life. Not everyone has that.
In my 60's as well brother. I don't think people in general understand the type and spectrums of depression that occurs at this age.....
I stayed here through 23 years of agonising depression for my parents. Have been non-suicidal for the last 6 months or so thanks to great people like Scott spreading great info. But still scared when my parents pass, as there getting older now, that I won't have enough to stick around through hard times..
Might be too late to have a family now so gotta find something more to live for I guess
@Sylar-451 get involved at a church, or any charity - there are many people that need even little things, like a ride to appointments or just someone to listen over coffee. We have the ability to help immensely with even simple contact.
I feel like I’m just killing time until I die. My body is breaking down bit by bit. Nerve pain keeps me from basic walking any kind of distance. I was doing paperwork for a charity but now my eyesight is going. Can’t even comfortably read a book any more. Luckily there are countless quality movies and tv series I can watch on tv. The cats alone keep me at a baseline functionally.
❤
I’m so sorry for all you’re going through 🙏 you could still enjoy books by listening to them being read out loud on Audible 📖
❤
I dso get that!
*I so get that!
Getting out of bed is so hard many days.
Same here
Same
Add in chronic illnesses/chronic pain. Absolute anguish.
I have that now after injury of torn connective tissue at my tailbone.lots of scar tissue formed. It's awful. Have no money for massage treatments that help. Plus severe cptsd
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@prussian5770🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
💯 I have chronic fatigue and severe muscle pain from an old car accident, so I hear you on the one, I'm not always great with this I do try to celebrate the little wins in my health journey
Self sabotage could be the inner infant crying out to the inner adult, saying, "please love me too, I'm here."
Yes. I become mom to my inner kid and take care of them. Food, yummy snacks, a shower, maybe go out and get one inexpensive "fun" thing. Just to feel good.
@@2degucitasthat’s a great strategy ❤
It’s exactly where it comes from if you grew up in a family where you weren’’t seen as less than or had emotional neglect & parents who lack attuning to their child..
Trauma therapy taught me that.. as I struggle with C-ptsd.. and being the family scapegoat.
@@2degucitas in before when you cant afford food a shower a "fun thing"
Wow! Eye opening
"I don't completely care to be alive today." Sums up most days for me over the last 20 years.
Same
Same here
Summary/notes for myself:
- externalize some of your purpose (don't live only for yourself)
- live as if you aren't depressed because the episode will pass (I know, I know)
- balance the weight of emotions with logic on your decisions (be very aware of emotions not always correlating with the objective situations of your life)
Flip the ratio!!
Just written down your no.2 however difficult that may be I will try to re-read it.
I have had anhedonia since I can remember in childhood. I try to use two rules...."Fake it until you make it" and "This too shall pass."
YES!
Depression
So good, so good :)
❤
Self sabotage never works. Sounds like you're lying to yourself
I told my sister a couple of days ago that I feel like a walking corpse most days. I wish people understood how hard it is for people (like me) who have struggled with depression and anxiety their whole lives. I'm REALLY happy I just found this channel. It's helping.
I felt this today. I was driving and couldn't even remember how I got from point A to B. Totally zoned out and numb. P.s I'm not on meds 😅
@@Flowing22 Thanks for the comment. I'm not a fan of meds. I'm trying the holistic approach but if I don't improve, I'm going to do the med thing.
I agree, a holistic approach is the way to go. "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." I mentioned the meds just in case someone thinks I'm zoned out because of meds 😅 It's a natural strange feeling. I hope you get better soon Andrew 🙏🤗
How long have you been feeling this way, and does it come in cycles?
@@Flowing22 Most times it is situational but I was diagnosed with a mood disorder about 15 years ago. I was on Lamictal (not an SSRI or benzo). It helped but I went off it thinking I was cured. Did OK for a while but I need to find a Doc and start over again. I lift weights, meditate, take herbal stuff, etc
Modern life is far too stressful and many of us just aren't built for this crazy 9 to 5 work work work regime. It's an a absolute misery and utterly overwhelming. We are NOT made to live like this.
Who works 9 to 5. That would be wonderful. I think most people work at least 8 to 5 and a lot of us are working more like 7 to 7.
@@rmh691it’s shorthand for full-time work. Decades ago, the standard office job was 9am-5pm. Many of them still are. That’s how the movie “9 to 5” got its name.
@@calisongbird am aware of that. Lol. My point is it’s time to come out of the dark ages and update the vernacular
Yeah…. I don’t wanna do this anymore. I’m done.
@@rmh691 I don't even work 9 to 5. I have been self employed and living off a subsistence income all my life, doing the bare minimum to scrape by. And even still I feel totally stressed out and like there's never enough time to do what I need to do. It's the system that is the problem, our lives are chaotic and we feel empty, lonely and tired because of all the BS that we have to deal with day in day out.
I thank God for my dog...He gives me a reason to get out of bed each morning.
What is your dog's name, @artmcfarter2678? @unitednations
Same ❤🐾
Agreed, same for me
It was the same for me for the last 18 years, until my dog Cleo died almost a year ago. Now my life feels so meaningless, I miss her so much and my reason to keep going has died with her. My mom died 10 years ago, it changed me forever, now my dog.. The fear of losing everyone I care for to death is always present now in my mind, it is crippling. I feel lost in life
Agreed! I’ve got three. I don’t have too much to feel down. They’re all so different. I’ve an 11 year old Ridgeback joey, 3 year old Malinois, Willow and a staffie x Labrador x Chihuahua, Bella, nearly two. They’re all so different! They keep me fit and entertained.
1. 6:17 Try not to live only for yourself.
2. 13:26 Know that anhedonia doesn't last forever, as long as you keep at the beneficial things.
3. 17:56 Do not function on emotion alone.
Thanks for the summary! ❤
Thank you
no. 1 can be hard because a lot of us are people pleasers and have never lived only for ourselves. So I thought maybe to be able to use that one, we have to look at the motivation for helping others...if it's for approval, dont do it, if its to help someone, do it.
thank you
@@janicenakonechny3674 I'm at the point that I'm over living for everyone else. Somebody take care of me for once. Help me. So yeah. No. 1 is pretty much worthless for me at this point.
This caught my attention. I feel sooooo exhausted. Burned out. Empty. Even sleeping is exhausting.
same here
@@kelseymathias3881you are going to be OK. 😊
@@The.Narc.Files7 thank you for the good words 🧡🧡
THIS! ^^^^^
Me too.
"I wanted to, just, opt out of all the things" - SO FREAKING RELATABLE
I have schizophrenia and most times I'm forcing myself to do basic things. Its so hard to get motivated but once I complete a task, it feels like an achievement.
Life is such a massive burden and so few people admit it. thank you for your honesty on the subject matter
You can compete with the “Life is Good” company! 😂 Start making Tire covers, Shirts & Hats with “ Life is a Massive Burden” LOL!!
I feel like it’s every day. Is that just me? I can’t remember the last day that felt normal or good.
Every day I wake up it doesn’t matter what’s going on, I just don’t have the energy for it at all. If it was up to me I’d almost never get out of bed. Too bad for me though bc I have a family so I have to. I’m a real pleasure to be around, let me tell you.
@@joleaneshmoleane8358 cranky schmanky 😉
I understand both of you and I hate to bring more happy news it doesn't get easier as you get older. I haven't felt well physically for about 10 years, and mentally unwell much longer. You're not alone in these feelings. Vicki
Μe too..
Definitely not just you. I used to not feel this way it’s like a chemical imbalance. Adderall was the only thing that made me feel like doing basic everyday things and enjoy them. I had to go off of it but I have no idea how to feel this way naturally
This has been me everyday for the past 5 years. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing helps. Happiness so far off and everyday is so exhausting. If you would have known me before hand, I was the most outgoing happy person. A social butterfly to say the least. Now I am an introvert and even caring for myself is a chore.
I go to work just to keep a roof over my head and a car to get to work. 😢I cannot find happiness in anything anymore.
I can so relate.
I'm the same.
This is exactly me, after my mother died. 😢
Same
Relatable.
Your honesty is refreshing! I can't tolerate the overly positive affirmations people spew, nowadays.
ditto! good point
Maybe the positive affirmations are helping those people get by, maybe they’re struggling just as much as you? If I’m feeling crappy I sing/hum don’t worry be happy. I act out being positive and then the good mood eventually follows.
Or maybe they have no idea about how it feels to drag yourself through life, there’s people like that too, with no understanding.
I think the positive affirmations help a lot, just like meditation too.@@fleurosea you change your frequency, your vibe, with them, which is important. You did that with your humming and singing which is supercool, you attracted more of the needed frequency.
@@fleurosea If you were to reread what I've posted, you will find that it says "I can't tolerate", which indicates what personally doesn't work for me. Not what works or doesn't for others.
ikr,the toxic positivity. It's awful and selfish to expect people to be positive all the time especially when they feel exhausted or depressed
As far as studies about why living for others helps you keep going... I don't have a psychology background, but I worked in palliative care for 10 years and read a number of books about how to make life good for people with chronic illness and disabilities. One book described creating a community in which chronically ill people had a lot of independence and self-determination, but what really helped them do well was having something to care for - like a bird, or a plant. Even if they were physically unable to provide the care, but they were able to direct someone else to provide that care, they had better outcomes than those who didn't have a living being to care for.
Most days, I can't even bring myself to do the basics for myself. I go through a burst of trying trying trying but nothing changes the way I feel.
I feel you. I’m trying as well. Therapy, medicine, meditation etc & I don’t feel any better. Hang in there. You’re not alone.❤
Be strong..💪❤
takes a lot to be patient with life doesn't it?! We have to learn what strength really means. It's not just a word...it's carrying on. One doesn't have to be feeling just so happy to be growing and developing strength.
I feel trapped in so many complex and threatening life situations right now. I only hold on sometimes by a thread. Each day is just a little bit different and I have little moments of little joys. My hope is that I have had less horrible times and so my life just might get better.
You are on a whirling planet in a totally strange and huge universe. I guess that's pretty interesting. There's a video and it's here on youtube called "Inner Worlds Outer Worlds" that's pretty distracting. It might provide you with a little interlude of distraction from how difficult things are. Sometimes solutions just aren't available and the only thing we can do is hold on and do even just little things and that's a huge accomplishment.
This channel here can be helpful...He gives some great achievable "tips" that are huge to a person who is feeling really heavy and sad.
I’m right there with you. Taking adderall is the only thing that made me normal and looking forward to do basic everyday things I had to go off of it but if I could be like I was on it I’d have no issue. Maybe something is chemically off
Do 1 small thing. Empty one wastebasket, or pick up 1 piece of trash and put it in a wastebasket.
While waiting for the microwave, do a small thing. Put 1 dish from the drying rack into the cupboards.
Etc.
From age 2 I've felt like this is a complete waste of time. I'm 60 now, still feel the same.
me too. I'm 68. And I only just found out why...I was sexually abused by my father since baby to age 6 when he died. And my mom was narcissistic. Did something happen to you at age 2?
@@janicenakonechny3674 No, I just watched my entire family always under control of work or school times and thought it was a complete waste. Being raised in England too didn't help, I'm super sensitive and we were raised harsh for our own good apparently🙄 I have however found out that without this attitude and raising tough I learned so much more about life than I would have.
I'm sorry about your situation. That's a pretty rough road you went on. 😬 Always remember we experience what we do for important reasons. I guess we find that reason out when we die and go home 🏡
thanks@@iamthatiam363 I have learned about those important reasons the last few years, and they have helped me so much. I agree school and how the work world works and it's not good for us. Way to learn from your rough upbringing.
me too, I'm beyond ready for a new channel in life. But some days I don't think I'd even want to come back as a human again if I had the opportunity.
@@JJJettplane I hear ya!! Me too, done with this nonsense 😒
You dont know how much you are helping people. I was hopeless and suicidal. Your channel has literally helped me more than therapists or medications. I really like how you talk from personal experience which really validates us because I usually end up feeling I am the only one screwed up in this world.
Medications can mess you up a whole lot more. I know from experience and I've seen it with other people as well. I know this goes against current culture and the quick fix with medication. Getting other help with a good therapist will be more beneficial in the long run.
Trust me, I'm really messed up from a benzo I took for panic attacks and then messed up from the antidepressants they added to help with those side effects I had. I can't tell you how awful this has truly been for me. I just want to warn people, and I'm not the only one. Please be safe. Things can get worse.
If you have been suicidal, that indicates a serious dopaminergic imbalance. That means talk therapy is not enough to treat your chronic condition
me to
I feel suicidal everyday 30 attempts God doesn't want me either
@MrJCerqueira Or it could mean your medication is making you feel that way. That did happen to me. You're still believing in the "chemical imbalance" thing.
It's not that everything seems overwhelming. It's the feeling of incompetency -- the inability to be a viable economic unit.
24:11 Ding! Ding! Ding! THAT is how I feel. People have called me lazy my entire life because I couldn't make sense of spending a whole life as a slave. I keep asking why, and the answer is usually "because everyone has to.". Which is, of course, a load of crap. Stupid Trump has never worked a day in his miserable life. It seems like the most privileged are the nastiest. Sorry. Rambling. Awesome video.
It’s the overwhelm for me! Always something and never enough it seems.
@@Jenjenn1111 Yes, for me too. Some days it feels like just the activities for basic survival take $10.00 worth of energy, and I only have a nickel to work with. The one tried and true tool for me is to deepen my grounding, my connection with the Earth. Grandmother Earth calibrated my energy if I'm connected properly, and I always end up able to shift out of overwhelm if I remember to do this. I may still only have a nickels worth of energy to work with, but I'm able to leverage that nickel for maximum benefit, which often starts a cascade of gradually increasing my energy. Doing one small thing usually leads me to the next small thing I can manage, and things unfold a bit from there. I may not come close to having $10.00 worth of energy, but the $3.00 flow I managed to get going sure beats just having a nickel.
I have bad mornings but accept it and then it usually gets better. Everything is temporary in this life. Everything.
A few days ago I actually tried to google something like "bad mornings" to see if there's an explanation, a connection to a mental health issue. I sometimes feel that my bad mornings end around 2 p.m. which makes them feel quite long. Today, the morning is very bad and very long, it's 8 p.m. now. Well, I may at least do the dishes to make tomorrow's morning a bit easier, right?
Yeah remembering that everything is temporary has really helped me out too."This too shall pass" has become a quote I say to a lot to myself. Also when things are better, recognizing and appreciating when they are. Even if it's just something tiny, like a good cup of hot tea this morning.
@@Misslayer99...I agree...and definitely what you said makes a very good point. Tks. And my cup of tea tomorrow, too.
Can relate.. Often can't get outta bed till late afternoon
True. If I go forward through the day it just helps to keep going
I tend towards multitasking. The two things that help me with my anhedonia are 1) crafting or coloring while listening to a book/podcast and 2) walking the neighborhood while picking up trash (i.e., "litter patrol"). That way I get my "daily steps " in and can do something that creates a visual difference. An added bonus is that excessive screen time tends to make me feel unproductive because I am not creating anything visual that I can point to.
Yes I need to see evidence of positive change every day. It helps for me to write task lists in different colored pens & doodles, make it pretty, in my planner and check them off so I have a physical reference of accomplishments. I also clean something for 5-15 minutes to keep momentum going with daily chores.
@@susydahms400I try very hard to get the stuff I don't want to do first then plan a trip when I'm done
Excellent coping strategies!
Thank you for sharing what works for you. I think I would like them too ❤
I have lived with chronic depression since I was a teenager, been in therapy for a long time, I'm on medication, and I know that this depression will be a constant for me for the rest of my life. I'm really living well with it, as I learned and found many different ways to cope and to manage it. Like, I would not say I am actively in a depressive episode every single day in my life. Far from it, somebody who doesn't know would never think I have depression. But I do constantly try to be "vigilant" in a sense because I know that it is always a presence in my life. A very small and quiet presence for the most part, but one I have to accomodate in a way that people without depression do not.
And what I find SO frustrating about living with this chronic mental illness is that I rarely find resources that talk about LIVING with depression. Most of it is about overcoming depression, getting out of depression, etc. But there is so little material that acknowledges that there are people who are going to be living with it their whole life. And that this kind of depression looks and feels very different to the depression that usually gets talked about, the more episodic or singular-event one. That we need to strructure our daily life differently and have different needs and stressors that neurotypical people do not have. Because it also paints depression as something that can be overcome completely, in the sense that its something that happens to you, like a virus, and once you feel better you resume your life like normal. And it can be like that, for many people. Like a one-time major depressive episode in their life. - But for others, like me, it's gonna be a constant in my life forever. But I still sometimes feel or am made to feel by others that it is my own personal failing for not reaching the endpoint of my depression, "like I'm supposed to". For not being able to live my life as a neurotypical person would, even though I am not actively depressed as I was in my worst times with depression
So thank you for offering content, strategies and also just visbility for chronic depression and what it actually means and how it affects those who have it. It helps immensly to just know that there are others like me out there who do live with depression as a chronic illness, and who share their experiences and methods to cope with it. I am definitely learning new things from your videos, and I'll try and see if those strategies and ideas could also help me deal with my depression more efficiently.
Great post.
Excellent comment, thank you
reading this helped me feel better about myself because i've struggled with the same thing. now i'm 21 and don't know what i'm doing with my life because i've been depressed for so long. we're in this together, sending you strength
I suffer from depression and anxiety all my life on medication going to work helps when I retired did volunteering loved it
And what if your married to the person who blames you for not getting better? They believe your lack of discipline, lack of obedience, weak faith in Jesus’ healing powers, & so on is why your still sick
Dr. Scott: "Do not function on emotions alone."
Me: "I'm sorry, there's another way?" 😂
Lol, I took notes and put some exclamation points after that bullet point 😂
Lol, me too! I am gradually learning my feelings are temporary.
Could it help to allow the sensations of the emotions to run their course? To possibly help process them quicker?
I noticed a lot of people in the commens are saying they only keep going because of their kids. A lof people don't have kids. I don't have kids. At least 20% of women my age don't have kids, and more and more younger women are not having kids. I've never wanted kids and I'm glad I never had them. I don't think kids would make a difference in how I feel or don't feel, it's just a focus of energy. Also, personally speaking, I wouldn't have had kids just to feel better, it would have irritated me a lot.
I wonder if these people who had kids to focus on, it was just a distraction from the problem. Now their kids are gone they are forced to look at the problem again. Kids never cured it,
@@penneyreed7316 I believe a lot of people have kids for selfish reasons, to fill a void or have someone to distract you from how much your own life sucks..
Having kids is selfish alone for how we are already destroying this planet.
@@SaturnCrashing"We" are not destroying the planet. We are allowing the big corporations to destroy the planet.
I always wanted kids. I had kids. They were extremely cruel to me and I finally wished that I had never had kids.
Luckily they are adults now and I don't have to be around them any more.
I said to my husband last night before I even saw this “being self aware and having consciousness is truly a burden”. I hate that I feel that way too. But I do. A ball of chaos spinning around a sun with sentient beings left to wonder what we are, why we are, and where go we go after death is burdensome.
Described very well.
Oops sounds like you zoomed out too far! I do that almost every day. I think I need to zoom in and stay a while...
@@thethinkerer me too!
I like floating in the either. Zooming in sounds like a forced walk. Maybe we can choose one or the other?
This title really grabbed my attention! Before Covid I was a positive go-getter! Now I don’t care about really anything except staying home chillin or taking my dog out in nature. Everything else is truly a burden! I’ve been a Massage Therapist for 23 years and was once passionate about my work. Now I don’t care about it anymore…people are annoying and I just want to be alone! I don’t know this person I’ve become but I love her anyway…I just wish she could truly relax and enjoy life moment to moment but duty calls 😩
Covid2020 enabled people to slow down & take a good look at everything going on around them, to them & what we are participating in. The Great Awakening / 2020 vision.
Almost everything/everyone we thought we knew, loved, thought we had to do is either a lie or not what we thought.
It’s reverse world, so many things are stupid & unnecessary. So many people are shallow or programmed & we can’t relate to any of it & there’s no going back, it’s literally the Matrix.🥹
Getting outside in the Sun & exercising is about all that really matters, LOL.
Going to designate 1 day a week to do nothing from sun up to sundown. No cleaning, no working, no tv, no listening to youtube, no social media, no cooking - will cook ahead. Will let you know if it helps. I hope to be ready to be involved in life for the following six days.
I’m doing the same, but also fasting for a whole day - no food prep at all!
I do dedicate Sundays to only doing what I feel like doing.
If I don't then I go into the week still exhausted
Ahh, Friday dusk to Saturday dusk, was my day for nothingness. I did have trouble staying off You Tube and believe since I was able to cut out all else, I will be able to manage it next week. By Late Saturday, my mind was organizing tasks and I was faunching at the bit to get going. Even the usual mundane tasks sounded fun! Today, I am fully rested, up early and doing household tasks with ease and delight! Whew!!
Love it @lightisgood5023!!
I’ve been saying since I was a child … “wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to eat??” No one ever agrees, LOL!
Me: “Wait, hear me out … No grocery store, no putting away the food, no throwing away the food (you didn’t eat). No prepping, cooking, cleaning up, you wouldn’t even need a kitchen or any appliances & you’d never have to clean the kitchen or do dishes.
Would save so much time & money!😅
Turn your kitchen into an art room, gym, sauna, office, etc.😂
Definitely me. Then I feel guilt for feeling that way. Forcing myself to go out w two friends this weekend which is rare, I really want to stay in and hibernate lol.
Yes! The guilt!
You don’t feel like doing anything at all but can’t rest or relax, it’s like you’re crippled & stuck in the guilt and anxiety unable to do anything but dwell in your feelings of failure!
The guilt is real!! But then, why feel guilt.. for me I don’t have two friends.. not even one for that matter.. Ppl move on eventually when you stop engaging. Because they do not understand the depths of depression 😢
@@GiGiGeorgiaGangsounds like me.. No friends at all.
@@BradfordDobson-lu6id It’s bittersweet.. Because every “friend” I’ve ever had betrayed me in one way or another.. I take solace that I made the decision not to make friends anymore.. That way nobody can say they got one up on me. It gets lonely at times.. but I’d rather be lonely and alone rather than lonely in a fake relationship. I wish I could meet someone like me☺️ I hope you find peace.. because at the end of the day, friends or not, that’s what matters the most. I’m working hard at that ‘my friend’.. I wish you the best 🩵🦋
Ohhhhhhh going to do a forced walk now. Forced walking hahahahahahahahha. But...at least i have legs that work and I am able to walk. Even tho it feels like tortured walking, I am grateful.
Do you ever feel better after dragging yourself along a park? I do forced walks, rarely made me feel better though. It's a whole different story on a day I feel better.
Keep going 😊
@shamalk Same! I hate hearing "get outside " or "take a walk" when I'm feeling down, because even when I force myself to, I feel exactly the same afterwards (or maybe worse, because it didn't help). When I'm feeling fine though, it's like, gee, I should do that more often! Once I'm done doing all the other things I'm up to because I feel okay, that is! 😂
I forced myself this morning to walk. I listened to this podcast and I am glad I did. Sometimes these golden nuggets are there to find to help us. Thank you Scott.
@@shineon_7660Well I know sometimes nothing is a cure all...but at least when walking or exercising you are giving a gift to your body and your future existence. Muscles and bones deteriorate and very quickly as one progresses through life. Life then becomes even more complex and being unhealthy just adds to sadness and confusion.
I find it increasingly difficult to even get out of bed.
I'm not sure if you will in this video, but I feel like I haven't heard you use the word demoralization at all. I only just really began to understand what it is today. I realized I'm not actually depressed I'm horrendously demoralized. I think that might be what's going on with a lot of us. Like no matter what we do we'll never crawl out of the pit, no matter how good tomorrow might be, it will always get worse again, no matter how hard we try, we are underappreciated and feel hopeless. I didn't realize that was demoralization. That's what's wrong with me.
I’m not familiar with this; thank you for sharing ❤
One thing that has helped me is to take baths instead of showers. I take a bath every night. I light a candle, I listen to an audiobook or music or I set up my laptop and watch a show or movie. I drink sparkling water or tea or sometimes a glass of wine.
I went from dreading taking a shower to looking forward to my bath every night. It's so relaxing and feels like a reward at the end of every day.
Interesting. But sounds like a lot of work I don’t have it in me to do.
@@chelseabuffington1732 just start with a bath. You don't even have to fill the tub before you get in, just sit in the tub and turn the water on. You can work up to the wine and candles.
We all need a purpose to live... Otherwise, it is perfectly sane to wonder why you should bother to get up and do something. And that is why getting old is so depressing.
It is a core sense of self preservation to still care for others.
I'm schizophrenic, bipolar and mildly autistic. I have no friends, no job and no skills. I've tried for years to rectify these things and got nowhere. Give me a reason to live.
My friend, that sounds gnarly. I only know of one thing that helped someone with different but severe mental health issues, they started working at an animal shelter. They never could with humans but helping those defenseless abandoned pets and making them happy gave them life... I don't know if that's a possibility for you. I wish you luck. I don't know you but I want you to be ok... 😢 virtual hugs
I’m used to being anxious, where I feel like my brain cares too much about literally everything. Lately, my anxiety is actually significantly improved, but I have days where I feel like I’m moving in slow motion or like I’m looking at my life from the outside as someone else. Someday, I hope to be free of both persistent anxiety and depression.
🙏🏼❤️
Me too. I am either in a depressive fog or fight/flight mode.
@@kathleenp.3598, sending so much love and comfort your way. I’ve really been working on mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I’ve also just been more cognizant of how I spend my time in general (reaching out to friends, spending time in nature). It helps!
Everything’s worse since Covid, the world doesn’t seem real anymore. I used to be so happy …makes me wonder when I see so many feeling this way, we all seem to not care anymore.
I listened this driving to work today. I watched it driving home too. Nothjng crazy, just during routine traffic.Was a rough day today. From getting out of bed to every single 25 mins gone, counting down until i can leave the call center. To go home to an empty apartment. I have no living family or kids or anything. And i have to do it again tomorrow.. and then I get to come home and sleep. Thank you for these tips. Im trying to stay hopeful...
I hope you mean that you listened to this while driving, not that you actually watched it.
@helenryan5217 oh yeah that's what I mean
❤🌺🤗 xxxx
Call center..yikes,they createdepressiin when I've done them way back.
Could you work at a plant shop or Cat Sanctuary or a small bookstore,or I'm thinking of temp work and you can say No to a gig if you're deeply down.
Ah,I'm thinking also during the next months getting warm,like selling plants,gifts,jewelry in one if those outdoor Stalls.
Also look up Volunteer jobs for ideas you might be able to switch your Job.
,I'vealso got hired almost every time.
I worked a farmers market,and a folk festival.
I know ya got to pay bills,just thinking of ideas.
Also Zoom has tons if different groups online.And Librairies have lectures,and films,and community centers can be social.😂❤😅
I feel this 100%. I’m in nearly the same situation. I’m honestly amazed at myself for arriving at work or making it to 5pm.
Most people, including the doctors I’ve known cannot understand what it is like to live with chronic depression with obsessive and suicidal thoughts. I’ve lived with it since puberty
“I’m indifferent to existence right now”. Exactly. But I’m in my 60s and still trying not to disappoint those who depend on me.
I go to sleep almost every night hoping its the last time and that i never wake up.
This gets better.
So sorry to hear that.
I suffer from depression also
Have you got medical checks done.
I will prayer for you it can get better.
Take good care of yourself.❤❤
Wow! Things have got to change...
My brother died he was alcoholic and the last words he said to mum was tell bernadette I don’t want be here
@@patriciaflynn7877 yes, i go to therapy and have bp2.
Lost a sense of purpose when the birds left the nest, then when Mom died and I no longer had her to care for, then loss of a relationship. It leads to a sense of having seen all life has to offer, been there, done that.
Now its time to live for yourself! You’ve done your job taking care of your loved ones… now you get to focus on loving yourself! ♥️💙💜
@@KandyKoatedKrafts Thanks for the encouragement. I am doing just that. Just broke up with my BF and this may turn out to be a year of incredible personal growth.
@@a.d.b535 that sounds great! Maybe you could get a pet also 🌷
@@attheranch873 Pets are great, but actually spending time with myself, learning what I like, trying new things, meeting new people, and savoring the moment. It seems to be helping.
Reading these comments and shocked others feel the same way I feel. I can live in my bed and that’s not good
I think I can care about others even though I don’t care about myself is because I just don’t want anyone to feel unworthy, unloved, or uncared for. I can’t bear it and I think it’s because I know how it feels. It’s too late for me but maybe I can help stay the negative feelings for someone else.
I think the trick is to care for yourself so that you yourself never feel unloved or uncared for. When I find out how I’ll let you know.
💯
You are worthy, you are loved, you are cared for. The past is not the future.
@@rollandallen9648 ❤
@@rollandallen9648 You probably mean well, but this sounds like quite the disconnect from the main comment.
For me, it’s always a burden, but right now having to deal with a coworker giving me the silent treatment makes it even worse. When I went to the boss about it, he said I should go to her, talk to her, and then he continued on telling me how important her job is to our office. And, she switched the story around said that I had gotten mad at her. She did this last year and it went on for several months. It makes my job very uncomfortable.
Your boss is a moron. Your co-workers attitude, feelings, behavior etc. is not your responsibility. That's all their problem, screw them all. And btw every one is replaceable in any job. No one is that important to anything. Nothing but laziness and gaslighting.
That’s toxic..start looking for a new place to work where you will be appreciated.
Caring more for others during a depressive time is the other side of the coin: when NOT depressed, and still seemingly unable to improve anything about our lives (yet we function), putting our energies into helping others comes naturally...because our latent energies HAVE to go somewhere! "I can't help myself...you need help? Great. I'm there!" It takes us out of our mindspace and into the world...at least a little, for a time, and though it's ephemeral, it is pleasant at the moment.
I spent my life this way. I know that this is true. I could not count on the world...but the world could always count on me. For a time, that bolstered my shattered self image.
Exactly……Thank you for sharing
To cope with a hostile world, I became good at dissociating. So in times of hardship the first thing I do is abandon myself. Perhaps that is why it is harder to care for myself than others? It was not the others that I abandoned.
That is a brilliant observation!
This hits home for me too.
I feel that way rn im going to get up make coffee eggs bacon drink water wish me luck.
When you don’t care about yourself, this is a natural feeling based on what we are taught. Have a crappy job? Loser. Have poor health? Loser. Have mental health issues? Loser. Can’t perform miracles on command? Loser. Don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of literally everything? Loser. Can’t bench press 50 lbs? Loser. Etc. etc.
I don’t think life is a gift. It’s a punishment. In fact, I’m pretty sure that this is hell. Am I being punished for something? I have no idea because I have no memory from before I was alive and no one knows what happens after we die.
Yes, I’m 90% sure that this existence is one of punishment. Hopefully it comes to an end at some point. Since I’m not convinced that death brings oblivion, death isn’t a certain escape from eternity of punishment here on earth.
You are in hell because of your separation from God. So when you die this same state you had here on earth will continue for all eternity. Seek God and Union with him by repentance and living the sacramental life of the church
I have depression and health issues but you are not a loser. You are a precious child of God and Jesus Christ loves you so much. Reach out to Him he's always by your side waiting for you to call Him. You are loved and precious to Him and he will uplift you with his right righteous hand , if you Let Him. He is always there for you waiting ❤❤❤
He’s not embarrassed by the mess you’ve made, He will never turn His face away, He will never ever be ashamed of you, and when you cry He will hear. God is good all the time. Loser is not in His vocabulary. He is there for you unconditionally . Absolutely no judgment. He loves you. He created you. xo
Yeah I feel you. For me I just try to think, even if nothing matters, or even if life is punishment … regardless of any of that I’m here so I as well try to enjoy some of it. Maybe life is suffering but hey this world has cats. I really like cats. I have two of my own and that’s cool. Flowers are also pretty to look at it. And it’s so cool that on this tiny planet in the middle of the universe these things are growing. Small things like that. Maybe it sucks but we don’t know if anything or what comes after this life so I’m going to try to make existence as painless as possible ❤ wishing you all the best
Ive had those exact thoughts. Im over it. I want a permanent escape
I don't comment often but I wanted to comment about this. when I was a teenager I was very depressed, but it helped me develop a spiritual connection. In a moment of contemplation I was shown that the reason for my depression was my level of self absorption and told that if I just did something for someone else I would feel better. I did. I was also shown that " There is a whole world on the other side of your nose". I thought that was a little humorous, but it gave me a different perspective. I was also shown a leaf, bragging about its independence from the tree, as it was withering and dying. I would suggest that having a relationship with your higher power, however you picture it, helps you to keep your balance and receive inner nourishment. The leaves that stay connected to the tree, live.
I have a ADHD. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and I'm just now figuring this stuff out step at a time and 1 thing that motivates me more than anything right now. When I go into my dark space of depression and pulling out is what is my responsibility towards my partner. He's older than I am and I need to stay focused on his care. So that will pull me out of a dark depression. It's caring about him.
In the past, I've done a little mind trick of "ok, I started out this life as a baby/small child. I wouldn't want to neglect a baby/small child... what are some of the fundamental needs that baby/child needs?". Somehow, this has enough of a "do for others" prompt sensation that I'm able to then "get on with it".
Thank you so much for this video! You've gained a new subscriber from it ;)
Interesting, I've tried everything, maybe I'll try that😢
Excellent idea, I’ll try it!!!!🌷
WOW that’s a great way to approach it
Going to the gym was the one thing I kept doing, even at rock bottom. No matter how worthless and burnt out I felt at the end of the day, I could always look myself in the mirror and say "Damn, I look good." Look good, feel good is real.
I am going through that phase, every little thing seems a task.Existence feels like a burden
M favorite help line : If you don't get everything you want think of all the things you don't get that you don't want"!
You are the only one who says what I feel.
I feel this every single day. I hate being alive again today.
I tried to suicide by taking an overdose. I woke up the next morning and the first thing I thought was, "Oh, damn, I woke up." (I'm still here.)
Saw this channel for the first time today....And I say thank you because I did sit up in bed and celebrated my little victory. Learning how and why my brain is working is a start to change my life one day at a time! Thank You Dr. Eilers
You know what, something you said in either this video or another one has resonated with me all week and made a big difference- that is looking at your catastrophizing as simply a theory. that it isn't set in stone. that whatever horrible thought you are thinking doesn't mean its true. that small step actually has made a difference in my mood this week. thank you.
Actually, several times in my life caring so much about the welfare of my husbands or children has caused me some of my worst depressive episodes. I eventually learned that you cant change other people and you cant control everthing to your liking.
I agree that spouse and kids can be the cause, not the cure! I learned the same lessons about change/control as it sounds like you did. It was a long, awful lesson. But I think I'm a better person and parent, and I'm definitely happier not worrying about what problematic thing the ex and kids are doing that I can't control
(Of course, you can only stop worrying altogether if they can be trusted not to cause life threatening harm)
Something I learned many years ago, when you don’t feel like smiling, SMILE, hold it for a minute. . . See what happens.
If I can't live for myself, even if I'm at the point where I feel my partner will be better off without me, I'll live for my pet snakes. Who will look after them when I'm gone? They'll go to a shelter and who knows when/if they'll find a new home. They don't deserve that. They deserve the best j can give, even if I can't give myself that
Wow... I'm only 8 mins in and I've never related to anything more in my life. You just PERFECTLY articulated what my 'treatment resistant major depression disorder' feels like.
I love you Scott, I really do. You're the only mental health professional I've ever heard, talk about depression from the perspective of actually having depression. All my therapists and psychiatrists talk about it from a " the studies show" perspective. Which more often than not make me feel alienated and alone. Every time I hear you talk about something depression related, I'm like "OMG! That there. Yes!"
I like the quote about turning crises into minor inconveniences. But how do I do that with depression? I take wellbutrin and was out of it for two weeks. On the worst day I simply could not get out of bed and was two hours late for work. How can I turn my lack of motivation into 10 or 15 minute latenesses instead of 2 hour ones???
When my children grew up and went to college, my husband and I divorced. I found myself living alone for the first time in many years, and I stopped functioning. I experienced depression and anhedonia. Doing the daily chores of living became too much. I discovered that I was happy to do things for others (my family), but I, somehow, was not worth the effort to do the chores to sustain my daily life. I continue to struggle with this and am researching how psilocybin might help me reframe my thinking.
Jordan Peterson says to treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Treat yourself like a good friend.
God is with you.❤
2 nights ago I left a note in my bed telling my children how much I loved them and always would. Not because i would do anything to myself but because my pain was so bad that I had an overwhelming thought that maybe that night i would just never wake again. They are the only reason i continue to try and get out of bed. If it were for my sake alone I would not bother. I just want to feel pain free and experience joy again. 3 years into menopause i lost myself and can't find my way back even with HRT.
I am in the same situation. I have one adult daughter.
Same with me 😢
been on HRT twice - just triggered migraine headaches
Have you listened to or read anything from Dr. Mindy or Dr. Christiane Northrop? There’s one more hormone-focused doctor who wrote a book but I can’t remember her name.
I've been telling my doctors for a couple years now how it takes literally everything in me just to exist. My depression and anxiety and pain and fatigue have been out of control. Finally something is being done about it. After years of suspecting and pressing multiple doctors about it, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Which causes all of those things. Since I already have RA, and because there's no definitive test for fibromyalgia, it was getting dismissed and overlooked. I was essentially being made to feel that it was all in my head. Ironically certain antidepressants are used to treat it so they could have simply prescribed it legitimately even if they didn't think I had fibromyalgia since they definitely agreed I was depressed and anxious and it was "in my head" Then it wouldn't have gone this far and I could've felt better years ago. Now I have a lot of work ahead to get my life back in order. So much so that even with treatment I feel overwhelmed by rhe thought of how much I need to do. Hopefully I'll feel better in time and it will get easier. I was just diagnosed last week.
ugh that sounds like such an ordeal. you shouldn't have had to advocate so hard for yourself for sooo long, but i'm so glad you did and that you are now getting more support. it WILL get better. without a doubt, because you have proven that you are not giving up on yourself, and no matter how much invalidation you face, you know you and you trust you to keep pushing for what you need!
@@mozzarellamachine wow thank you! That was awesome of you to say that! 💗 You should be a therapist lol
My sister is taking thiamine, vitamin B one, for her fibromyalgia. It is helping her a lot. Her doctor said vitamin B, one is the spark plug of the energy system. If your diet is high in carbs, or you are under lots of stress, it will deplete your thiamine. She is trying to eat keto also..
After years of bs I also had fibro. Later I learned that fibro is often a symptom of extrem anxiety. I've been in therapy, and my symptoms are less. Maybe there's something to that theory.
@@penneyreed7316 it's not directly related to having anxiety but more likely due to the extended psychological trauma of having anxiety. And fibromyalgia also causes anxiety and depression. I have rheumatoid arthritis and anxiety and depression so that's what made me more likely to end up with it.
Dr. Scott, you are ONE OF A KIND. And, I mean that in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. Thank you SO MUCH. Rosemarie ❤️
The panicking is overwhelming when days turn into weeks,etc.. And you realize you’ll never get those days back. But nobody knows it except you. Always been a woman to try & look okay.. Now, getting shower is like telling me to dig a ditch. I literally have no reason to crawl out of bed. Panic has moved in. I’m typing this but cannot crawl out of bed? What sense does this make???
I have been feeling this way too, but I know deep in my heart that it won’t last forever. We always have tomorrow, and there is always hope ❤ it is never too late for any of us 😊 I’m sending you much love and many warm wishes ❤
@@ericajane5465 Thank you🩵 Much love and prayers to you 🙏🏻
I read that even if you don't feel any reward by getting up and moving/going for a walk etc it kind of tricks the brain and will train it into catching up later with the movement.
I don't FEEL like it. 😢
My therapist described it as the physical movement creates a new pathway in our brain. Eventually the brain catches on that this movement is important . I guess similar to how they say it takes 30 days to create a new habit.
When my daughter passed away I wanted to run away and hide from this traumatic reality. I might of too if my responsibility to others was not a factor but my brain, and my emotions were able to reason it out so I did not make any rash decisions. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been the perfect example of not being able to cope, and tend to flight not fight but, that only ended me back at square one. Thanks for this helpful conversation about examples of what to do when just existing is a trial.❤
Excellent advice from someone who has expwroenced sheer pain and unspeakable grief with and courage. God bless you.
This. Some days are easier than others. I have some days where I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to take care of myself.
im so tired of thinking and analyzing and being wrong and dumb, i couldnt even keep up with this video i really tried, i kept rewinding and i just cant. im tired
Listening at .75 speed sometimes helps me with this. People just speak and process things faster than my brain can.
I found this episode all a bit vague myself tbh, I really don’t think it’s you. The comments section is the most valuable resource for this one!
Watching the transcript might be helpful. You’re not dumb..it’s your concentration level when you’re down.
hey. i'm in the same spot. promise it's not because you're dumb, it's your concentration that decreases under extreme stress & extreme bad mood. you're normal
I barely function
It‘s so funny how you always think that nobody is going to understand your metaphors but they are always so on point! Again - great video!
Wow, you SO good at what you do!.. I feel like you’re the only one on the planet that really knows me. I’ve had this most of my lifetime and hidden it as no one I ever knew would understand this craziness , it seemed I was the only one like this.
When I have an episode, the hardest thing to get my mind to accept is that ‘it’s not permanent’ I will definitely follow your suggestions and advice..as I always do, you bring great comfort just talking and ‘getting it’. Thank you again.
I have the same internal dialogue. I really did think I was alone with this
living with a brain injury from Menengieal encephalitis in 2019, lost some vision, brain damage..living in a fast paced world inundating every moment with buzzing, blurring, whirling, buy now, quick times running out, on sale!
This really helped me out man. thank you. aim in a real rut.
“Do something without an emotional reward.” I think that was my entire adulthood, especially when I was married and raising children. I think I’m trained for that, and it’s a spiral 😮
I feel my worst when possessed by uselessness! That’s why at least a new job (even though it’s meh) helps me to escape from that. During tough times will try not to forget that it’s my temporary malfunction and stay away from making any decisions based on how I feel.
Thank you for the advice!
I feel like this constantly lately- the last several months my relationship with my (extremely narcissistic) husband has dramatically deteriorated (chronic infidelity, financial abuse, continued betrayals etc) and my anxiety feels like it’s just evolved into some giant monster that paralyzes from the moment I wake up- it’s like I’m just trying to survive the days in hopes the next I’ll feel physically better and mentally equipped enough to deal with even everyday chores and tasks… it feels like a heavy band around my chest and midsection, like a giant anxiety elephant. It’s SO defeating while trying to navigate little by little out of the situation, when I have so much to do. I’m sickened at myself and I feel so weak, especially when it comes to giving my very best to my child who truly is and has always been my reason to get up and do what I can force myself to do. But it’s just not enough to me, it’s an awful cycle!
Praying you have the strength to do what you need to do to start over and find a new life of peace ❤️
I feel your desription of anxiety is so real
Leave this situation NOW. Time to escape. Do something about it then.
Dr Scott going full disclosure on how bad his life really was. You don’t get this honesty with many people, period! Thank you again for exposing where life can go. In one month out of TMS treatments (36) feeling so much better 👍
I do think that people can become empty to the point where they don’t care about others -narcissists are the perfect example, but I think anytime someone has deeply unmet needs or is not in a good place that they can become temporarily narcissistic.
For me at least (likely cyclothymic), bad days are like a dial of emotional pain is turned up and there's a TON of constant, reflexive extremely critical self-talk rising out of an endogenous mood based on feelings of shame and loathsomeness that just seem to be a miasma or cloud that's over me. These feelings don't extend to other people so I think at least for me that's why I don't lose compassion for others but do severely for myself. At it's worst I do lose the capacity to feel as much depth of feeling for other people, or it's more easily used up as pretty much all energy reserves are at an ebb. Or if in a mixed state there might be more frustration and irritability but generally other people get a detached observer judgement that is difficult to apply to myself.
I think too there are a lot of narratives around ourselves rising out of our personal history or complex trauma from childhood that creates an identity that's often rooted in a narrative of shame, brokenness, dysfunction that may come from our family systems, school or medical systems, that are echoed during these poor states. This turns "Man, I'm feeling really bad today" into "I'm unworthy and broken etc etc" that then leads to despair. I read a study that suicidality is more common in people with complex trauma during depressive episodes (I was curious how some severely depressed folks never get depressed), I suspect it's partially due to these kinds of stories we tell ourselves. We don't generally have these kinds of stories about other people.
I'd also be curious if there isn't some malfunctioning neural pathways related specifically to suicidality (for me there's a certain time dilation/compression feeling that's particularly painful, where the future is just a gray blank, not specifically bad just incomprehensible and unbearable, though luckily I only experience that in the worst depths of a cascade of poor mood states. Ketamine was extraordinarily helpful, as other antidepressants didn't have much effect for me.
Oddly enough, I've found tarot actually really helpful for engaging in self-reflection and my feelings with more compassion and detachment. It's also less cognitive and more engaging with the subconscious due to the lovely illustrations with their own little stories the deck has.
I just did a tarot reading and it was spot on. I usually stay away from Tarot cuz of my Christian upbringing but I think that's my mom's voice in my head. I like hippy and witchy things and nature. I can't help it. I've tried to stay away from it, but I think I'm denying who I am, in the process.
You’re a bad assDr.Scott! Thank you for caring!✌🏻
Nailed it. This is me every single day of my life. I hate everything bc i dont know happiness. Not bc i dont want to, but bc i dont think im physically or mentally able to feel it. Im just numb. I've been in so many therapies since 1994, and have yet to find how to be happy.