Forced Into Marriage| Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 14 | Season 3

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  • Опубликовано: 6 окт 2021
  • Our guest shares her experience of being forced into marriage by her own parents and the repuccussions she's had to deal with because of that.
    Studio Guest: Faith Makubung
    #UnpackedWithRelebogile
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    linktr.ee/Unpackedshow​

Комментарии • 528

  • @pointa2b388
    @pointa2b388 2 года назад +356

    Black parents must learn to apologise to their children, you are not giving your power away

    • @SincerelyPearlM
      @SincerelyPearlM 2 года назад +4

      louder

    • @trishmncube6628
      @trishmncube6628 2 года назад +14

      For whaat. Children must learn to obey their parents. You cant blame your parents for stupid decisions that you make. Own your mistakes why do you move in with someone you don't want to marry you are already sleeping you might as well sign and feel it.

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад +2

      @@trishmncube6628 thanks you ..

    • @lesegoyv
      @lesegoyv 2 года назад +20

      @@trishmncube6628 Am glad you've never went through what majority of children goes through with their parents. Such are never discussed.
      But if her parents could see that she was suffering emotionally, and started telling her to leave this very man they pushed her to marry shows that they failed her and that's the SORRY in question.

    • @lesegoyv
      @lesegoyv 2 года назад +7

      @@trishmncube6628 most relationships start this way, then move in, either break up or marry at their own choices and not influenced by parents.

  • @TheSARAFINA2000
    @TheSARAFINA2000 2 года назад +111

    This was not an interview, she was proper offloading. Hope she gets her son back one day and she heals and has a very happy life

    • @stellamooibedi9027
      @stellamooibedi9027 2 года назад +7

      This is what most people need ,to tell their stories without judgment.

  • @dimakatso7199
    @dimakatso7199 2 года назад +259

    She is basically interviewing herself... she's giving it all out...
    I love her energy ♥️

    • @couchpumpkin1631
      @couchpumpkin1631 2 года назад +13

      Yeah i kinda wish Relebogile gave atleast half the energy coz it seems like she is a mother listening to her child telling tales😕

    • @stellamooibedi9027
      @stellamooibedi9027 2 года назад +17

      I love that Relebogile is allowing her to be 😊

    • @willardpika9345
      @willardpika9345 2 года назад +12

      @@couchpumpkin1631 there was nothing Rele could do. there is barely fullstops

    • @androidphone6323
      @androidphone6323 2 года назад

      @@couchpumpkin1631 sad

    • @refiloemotloung4612
      @refiloemotloung4612 2 года назад

      Yohh aa😕

  • @nosip9950
    @nosip9950 2 года назад +251

    It’s the variety of topics for me! Everyday is a pleasant surprise! Siyabonga

    • @WILMA_
      @WILMA_ 2 года назад

      What does “Siyabonga” mean?

    • @nosip9950
      @nosip9950 2 года назад +1

      @@WILMA_ it means thank you 😊

    • @lebogangkomape8778
      @lebogangkomape8778 2 года назад

      Literally!!

    • @WILMA_
      @WILMA_ 2 года назад

      @@nosip9950 - thank you! No pun intended.

  • @PowerHouseTalk
    @PowerHouseTalk 2 года назад +43

    "No matter the kind of environment you are in, choose who you want to be in that environment" That is powerful!

  • @simphiwezungu2124
    @simphiwezungu2124 2 года назад +154

    I wish parents would just stop and listen to their kids more often. I'm so glad Faith got out and is doing much better today, I hope things work out for her with her son💚

  • @ladygmaleka7810
    @ladygmaleka7810 2 года назад +391

    The only problem we as the black society thinks marriage is an achievement.😥😥😥

    • @alizwantuku6018
      @alizwantuku6018 2 года назад +66

      You knoooowww?!🤯 Whenever my mom doesn't approve of something that I do, and asks the question "uzawtshatela phi xa unje?" I make sure I let her know that, just because she feels like she achieved a great deal by getting married to my dad, getting married is not even on my "bucket list". If I get married, then that's great. If I don't then great.
      We're living and growing in a different generation. My goal is to be INDEPENDENT.

    • @zee4458
      @zee4458 2 года назад +19

      @@alizwantuku6018 the goal is to be independent doll . And marriage isn’t an achievement at all. Well said

    • @nomxhosapekani7966
      @nomxhosapekani7966 2 года назад +8

      This is just nonsense our people got from Christianity, and strange the people who brought us this Chistianity the Europeans don't live by it at all. They have as many abotions they want and plan their marraiges and children when they are financially and emotionally sound. Unlike us living with the WWPSS- What will people say sydrome. Sad how we have allowed foreign religions controls us.😪😪😪

    • @mbalimoloi1822
      @mbalimoloi1822 2 года назад +24

      Marriage was an achievement for most of our parents, and it's still is for other people today I think this is a personal choice we can't look down on others just because marriage is an achievement to them.

    • @samjnr1300
      @samjnr1300 2 года назад +9

      But most of the marriages seem to be miserable.

  • @bellacosta6658
    @bellacosta6658 2 года назад +96

    The attempted censorship of the swear words gets me all the time🤣💀

    • @sane88me
      @sane88me 2 года назад +7

      😂😂 attempted

    • @kzeetha
      @kzeetha 2 года назад +2

      😩🤣🤣

    • @stbltsndopnspces
      @stbltsndopnspces 2 года назад +2

      I said the same thing 😂😂😂😂 they must just stop

  • @pointa2b388
    @pointa2b388 2 года назад +114

    People who are too religious, too this and that, too cultural, are just too problematic. The following of rules without questioning them is a serious problem

  • @samjnr1300
    @samjnr1300 2 года назад +103

    I wonder why her parents didn't make her move out instead of forcing them to get
    married.

    • @kgalalelolala6963
      @kgalalelolala6963 2 года назад +15

      They probably protecting their image as a family.

    • @LethoHali
      @LethoHali 2 года назад +1

      U know!!???

    • @SuperSebza
      @SuperSebza 2 года назад +1

      They were inlove during that time

    • @samjnr1300
      @samjnr1300 2 года назад +10

      @@SuperSebza yeah. But they could have continued their relationships while living separately.

    • @kerlymanera1033
      @kerlymanera1033 2 года назад +3

      She said she refused to go

  • @nonkanyisondlovu5069
    @nonkanyisondlovu5069 2 года назад +64

    This was so sensitive to me 🥺🥺. This really hurts so much, how our black families forces us into situations all in the name of pleasing the society or those around them. I'm so glad you came out alive in that relationship.All will be well one day ❤️

  • @Lungelo911
    @Lungelo911 2 года назад +23

    She looks like a young Nonhle Thema.

  • @gcobisagwavu1352
    @gcobisagwavu1352 2 года назад +91

    It's Relebogile asking "What do you take responsibility for?' for me....such a necessary question for so many of us. Thank you for an enlightening show

    • @stellamooibedi9027
      @stellamooibedi9027 2 года назад +6

      Yeah because we hardly take Accountability of the roles we play in situations.

    • @mynameisgift
      @mynameisgift 2 года назад

      True

    • @tahashaholloway3688
      @tahashaholloway3688 2 года назад +8

      I don’t feel like this guest took responsibility for anything…! It’s seems as if everyone else is to blame for all her misfortune in life.

    • @rejoicedongonda2060
      @rejoicedongonda2060 4 месяца назад

      ​@@tahashaholloway3688thank you for saying this... She blames her parents for her mistakes

  • @Naughtorious
    @Naughtorious 2 года назад +41

    I love how she owns her truth. 🥺

  • @seithatibaloyiletstour9073
    @seithatibaloyiletstour9073 2 года назад +24

    I also believe in happily single and happily married. Nothing in between

  • @JeanetteMoseneke
    @JeanetteMoseneke 2 года назад +56

    I wish people wouldn't view marriage as achievement, a final destination or a damage control strategy 😕

  • @nonkumonkoe
    @nonkumonkoe 2 года назад +43

    Varsity is actually traumatic…

    • @tthuto.m
      @tthuto.m 2 года назад +12

      Not only varsity but life in general can be very traumatic

  • @DinakatsaMphela
    @DinakatsaMphela 2 года назад +263

    Im forever learning from the individuals brought onto this show . Could you please adress post-partum depression in a future episode❤️🙏🏽

    • @kankan244
      @kankan244 2 года назад +8

      Yes, great idea and suffered by many in our culture but not discussed.

    • @reneilwemabotja23
      @reneilwemabotja23 2 года назад +13

      I support this....it's the most untouched subject..even after birth no body cares about how u feel.u just gotta adjust as long as "the baby is healthy " it's tough

    • @portia6037
      @portia6037 2 года назад +6

      And it's very much deeper.. I know it... Been through it... Even tried to commit suicide... I would be happy to have such episode here...

    • @lillybianca4185
      @lillybianca4185 2 года назад +1

      Brilliant idea💡💖

    • @jozlinsekobje5940
      @jozlinsekobje5940 2 года назад +1

      Thats a good suggestion 💛💛

  • @stephinahtlhako4546
    @stephinahtlhako4546 2 года назад +48

    As old as I am I still believe our parents are the problem

    • @stephinahtlhako4546
      @stephinahtlhako4546 2 года назад +3

      @Nonchalant M that's true how dare they control our lives to such an extend

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад +2

      @@stephinahtlhako4546 speak for yourself sis, some of us had wonderful parents.
      Strange enough as an adult, I actually appreciate how strict they were because their 4 children turned out much, much better than most of those who’s parents were more liberal around us . For that I can’t thank them enough.

    • @stephinahtlhako4546
      @stephinahtlhako4546 2 года назад +4

      @@tranquilsoothingsounds3334exactly am speaking for myself why else would I speak for someone else. Your parents did a good job

    • @bebirah2306
      @bebirah2306 2 года назад

      So many toxic parents but no one is ready for that conversation.. quick to blame the children always...

    • @seimela
      @seimela 2 года назад

      Wow such a dangerous general approach ,parents are important to anyone that have them

  • @kgalalelolala6963
    @kgalalelolala6963 2 года назад +43

    A lot of things were done in the name of " what will people think". What a shame.

    • @otrwat
      @otrwat 2 года назад

      That's the thing about a lot of so called Christians, they do things for people and never really for themselves and what their conscience/the higher power is telling them to do.

  • @gracegwangwa38
    @gracegwangwa38 2 года назад +159

    After listening to her talk about Varsity adjustments, it made me really appreciate my time in boarding school. Varsity was easy for me, and normal. I already knew how to take care of myself and be far from parents ☺️

    • @kzeetha
      @kzeetha 2 года назад +5

      I went to normal high school and when it was time for varsity I lived with my older sister and her family I only moved out when I got married and now I live with my hubby and our daughter 🤣

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад +20

      Good for you.
      If a high school child can adjust to boarding school, surely a 19 year old can adjust to university because they are older.
      Also there are many, many people who did not go to boarding school and did just fine and adjusted well in varsity.
      For this woman, I feel like she is making excuses for deciding to vat en sit with a boyfriend in varsity

    • @seithatintumelangsetswanap2639
      @seithatintumelangsetswanap2639 2 года назад +9

      I never had problem of adjusting to university. I went to normal school but was so much responsible at younger age.

    • @jay02021
      @jay02021 2 года назад

      Same here hey

    • @cynthiadunge6479
      @cynthiadunge6479 2 года назад

      @@seithatintumelangsetswanap2639 I can relate

  • @nobuhlemasombuka3167
    @nobuhlemasombuka3167 2 года назад +50

    That wasn’t even lobola it was more of a transaction 💔.

  • @BatsiraiMusuka
    @BatsiraiMusuka 2 года назад +31

    It’s definitely not the end of her story. There is big bright hope here. She is walking the right path 🌟

  • @nkule2493
    @nkule2493 2 года назад +133

    What's upsetting is that they were not there for her when she went through the divorce or when she's fighting for her child even though they forced her into marriage.

    • @LM-he7eb
      @LM-he7eb 2 года назад +30

      They never help with anything Nkule.
      I want grandkids: Not help with child-rearing.
      I want you to get married: Not help with wedding expenses.
      I want you to get a degree: No school-fees money.

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад +10

      So a grown , 27 year old, married woman who is also a mother is supposed to have her parents hold her hand in through her divorce?
      When are we supposed to cut umbilical cords ?
      With the divorce , I honestly don’t think the parents meant any harm , it was just tough love .They were trying to let her take responsibility for a change as an ADULT! Remember she chose to stay with her boyfriend, which in itself is an adult choice that has adult consequences.
      But then again I might be wrong. It’s a pity we are getting only her version of the story, all the other people are not here to state their versions .

    • @LM-he7eb
      @LM-he7eb 2 года назад +4

      @@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 Yes. As black people we build conjoined families. When there is an issue within marriage, we discuss it as a family & offer a support structure. Especially a mess they started.

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад

      @@LM-he7eb alright. I hear you. But for me , as a black person , I will cut my support for my kids as soon as they become adults so that they can grow and be responsible functional adults .
      Everyone has their own way of parenting because there is no full proof manual of parenting.

    • @LM-he7eb
      @LM-he7eb 2 года назад +6

      @@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 Don’t accept lobola neither

  • @jaiyaalexandra144
    @jaiyaalexandra144 2 года назад +72

    These parents were ruled by fear and not by love, it is a pity.

  • @ziyandagona9158
    @ziyandagona9158 2 года назад +27

    Faith is all sorts of beautiful.

  • @LethoHali
    @LethoHali 2 года назад +24

    Some children can’t even tell parents they don’t wanna get married. Too scared to speak up. For parents to have ignored her voiced out feelings about the matter is truly telling. Our African parents need to do better. They are generally bullies. But I think they mean well. They think they’re doing “the right thing”.

  • @mohauwamorena
    @mohauwamorena 2 года назад +121

    Narcissistic Parents would be a great topic of discussion (narcissistic personality disorder). We often hear about Narcissistic friends, partners,bosses etc but the parents category I feel like is still an "underground". This one is immensely deep & cuts like a mf and takes forever to work through.
    Thank you for a good episode Rele♥️🌻

    • @luyandadlamini8576
      @luyandadlamini8576 2 года назад +8

      And there are a lot of narcissistic parents

    • @karenwilliams9904
      @karenwilliams9904 2 года назад +5

      @@luyandadlamini8576 100% agreed.And they do so much damage.This is a conversation that needs to be had

    • @sirizihindula
      @sirizihindula 2 года назад

      Narcissistic family for that matter. How does one audition to be on the show?

    • @ceekayfilms2169
      @ceekayfilms2169 2 года назад +4

      Exactly - when raised by narcs you gravitate towards them in relationships

    • @tanyasnyman-stanford8012
      @tanyasnyman-stanford8012 2 года назад +2

      Yes

  • @zandilesigudo4999
    @zandilesigudo4999 2 года назад +34

    A beautiful woman owning her story, love the wisdom and the strength. Sending warm hugs and light to her. ♥

  • @marym1476
    @marym1476 2 года назад +16

    Her not being able to see her son, is painful. I hope that is worked out soon.

  • @nomvulairene4177
    @nomvulairene4177 2 года назад +23

    Dis pastor's kid 🤣🤣🤣🤣she bubbly ke ngwana wa Gauteng

  • @sandisiwemahlamvu6448
    @sandisiwemahlamvu6448 2 года назад +13

    "If you're in the situation, choose the kind of person you want to be"

  • @mamellotsolo3881
    @mamellotsolo3881 2 года назад +28

    I love her energy, she was not even waiting for Relebogile to ask some of the questions. Christian parents can be cruel.

    • @naledindlovu976
      @naledindlovu976 2 года назад +2

      I doubt it's by intent but it does come across as cruelty

    • @olorato9563
      @olorato9563 2 года назад +3

      @@naledindlovu976 It's all intentional honestly, as a human who has gone through human experiences and knows the effect certain things have on people and still going through with those actions and causing trauma to your kids all in the name of being christian then you arent a good person and you arent really christian. Your 20+ years of life and all these religious teachings and the bible talking about watching your words, not provoking your children, bible verses on how much words affect people, and you want to tell me you dont think all the things you do are the reason i hated you, myself and the family. ???? No. Religious parents are monsters who make monsters.

    • @mphonthite3091
      @mphonthite3091 2 года назад +2

      @@olorato9563you said it all.
      Being a pastor doesn't mean you are above Jesus, we are all sinners. You can't force a kid in marriage bringing all sorts of dumb excuses about what will the society and community think. That's reading the bible upside down. Her parents failed her big time and still doing so. If it was for society then, what's the same society thinking of them when they are no where to seen in these court proceedings. But I am happy she found herself and her voice that's the most important thing

    • @matshidisoanastaciampotsan2642
      @matshidisoanastaciampotsan2642 2 года назад

      its not only in Christianity...all religions

  • @Miz-B
    @Miz-B 2 года назад +21

    Wow.... toxic parents who always want to "preserve the family's honour" 🙄. Most African parents don't listen to their children but want to have a working relationship with the said children at the same time.

  • @masegompheng2542
    @masegompheng2542 2 года назад +26

    Her experience has taught me a lot about parenting ❤️

  • @tema_langenid
    @tema_langenid 2 года назад +38

    It's quite unfortunate that in most black churches, talking about sex is considered as something that will encourage young people to have sex. Yet that's not true at all...I mean personally, I believe that there is a difference between exposing young people to "inappropriate" content and informing them about something. Hence I feel like as Christians we should normalize having open, honest and informative conversations about sex (and other topics as well).

    • @kzeetha
      @kzeetha 2 года назад +5

      Th church I went to discussed sex often, equipping us well to abstain. I think that is how I will raise my children, teach them and leave it up to them

    • @xolani2321
      @xolani2321 2 года назад +1

      I heard the part when she said her mother couldnt separate being mama mfundisi and being a mother (thats true) . Most parents who are servants of God need to rectify that part because they tend to be very vocal and outspoken when addressing purity,chastity issues to their congregants and fail to have deep and close conversations with their own kids on sex matters because it seems like Faith didnt know that co-habiting was a sin from the word go (scripturally its fornication) . So her pastor parents were trying to do damage control by getting them married faster and do the right but they too skipped/flouted standard procedures . First of all Faith was supposed to be willing to be married (which she didnt) , Secondly I think they should have just denied them to stay together instead of forcing them to marry .

  • @ntandokazi5587
    @ntandokazi5587 Год назад +3

    "Sometimes you need to separate yourself from being a pastor and a mom"
    So powerful ❤

  • @boipelon1220
    @boipelon1220 2 года назад +73

    I resonate with what she saying but I am glad I was able to stand my ground... parents can be bullies that is why it is important to have your own voice as an individual

  • @wpp1586
    @wpp1586 2 года назад +22

    To be honest I can relate, 2 kids and divorced and I wish my mom was there to tell me what a wife is suppose to be like. I was so broken and scared because I didn't know how to be a mother. 11 years later I have the best kids and I am picking up the pieces, I am the best mom today and ready to be the best wife.

    • @sibahlengalo
      @sibahlengalo 2 года назад +1

      God bless your journey ♥️♥️🙏

  • @Naughtorious
    @Naughtorious 2 года назад +19

    Yoh, these chats are hectic 😭😩
    Imagine being forced to marry, Yoh mina I’d run

  • @mbalenhlegugu5897
    @mbalenhlegugu5897 2 года назад +4

    "When she said I am doing this so that girls could learn" 😩😍

  • @TJ-my9nh
    @TJ-my9nh 2 года назад +22

    My mother was forced into marrying her cousin who is my dad. Before the wedding she ran away to Gauteng from limpopo but was tracked down and brought back for the wedding. They then divorced 7 yrs laster when I was 3 and that was the last time I saw my dad because my mom kept on hiding us from him bcos he wanted to take me especially as I was a baby boy. My dad passed on in '87 when I was 11 yrs old and I only found out about it when I started wanting him in my life and my mom kept on not wanting me to have a relationship with him. 3 yrs I managed to track his family and I found his wife and my other half siblings who welcomed me with warm arms because my dad had told his wife should I turn up one day she must receive. My mom passed away 15 yrs ago.

    • @kankan244
      @kankan244 2 года назад +4

      Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through this as a child into adult hood. You just never know the trails in someone else's life 🙏🏾

    • @thokozilemakaula4140
      @thokozilemakaula4140 2 года назад +3

      thats sad, sorry man.....

  • @beershebagiwu3527
    @beershebagiwu3527 2 года назад +23

    Pks get bullied into so many situations because of the church.💔

  • @roseb.5367
    @roseb.5367 2 года назад +15

    Thank you soooooo much for letting her vent... we pray for her healing. This was very necessary. You were so patient with her and this is always a judgment free place. Aluta continua!!

  • @morerimalemona8863
    @morerimalemona8863 2 года назад +23

    She is so beautiful 😘❤❤❤❤

  • @KeithVilla58
    @KeithVilla58 2 года назад +12

    The Fact That The Family Never Asked a Priest To do Pre-Martial Counselling, and Forced the situation is Just 💔😢….

  • @lesegotshegare2293
    @lesegotshegare2293 2 года назад +8

    Yoh some parents can be so toxic and neglectful. May God be the parents that you've always needed and give you strength to fight for child. He will never leave nor forsake you🙏❤

  • @kevinandilemediahouse
    @kevinandilemediahouse 2 года назад +7

    This is the content. Relebogile understands the assignment 😁✌️👌🇿🇦. I’m never bored

  • @nolz9912
    @nolz9912 2 года назад +13

    Shuuu! This girl is bruised man ...only because the parents wanted to look good in the eyes of people. The very same God they usually say we're sinning against or shaming is ever present meaning that at the time when the sin or living in sin in this case happened God was there. Now why conceal the truth from One who knows it all .. people can be hypocrites maan nx!

  • @FinancesByLulu
    @FinancesByLulu 2 года назад +4

    I love her so much. However, she can't be a victim of everything. I still sense a lack of ownership especially in the end, her and the lawyer should have known better about parenting not her parents. You can't be rescued from having the feeling of wanting to be with your child, I was not impressed by her shift in responsibility. I understand how she really didn't want this child and her actions then may be interpreted as freeing herself from the situation and the child. Monday to Monday is a hustle but she did not explain what she did to try to make it up to the kid while rightfully chasing her career.
    Love and light sis. 💜

  • @lionelscarf2872
    @lionelscarf2872 2 года назад +21

    Fat girl's life comment was a bit impolite. But this was a beautiful story all together.

    • @lionelscarf2872
      @lionelscarf2872 2 года назад

      @Msfriyay's Channel♥️ Kelebogile normally interjects when people express or perpetuate stereotypes. I'm surprised she let her be.

    • @esthermphanda4836
      @esthermphanda4836 2 года назад +3

      I cringed 😕

    • @someleziwengqasa5216
      @someleziwengqasa5216 9 месяцев назад

      I started looking for comments addressing that part 😢

  • @emmahobiero4724
    @emmahobiero4724 2 года назад +12

    i wish some parents would just let their children choose their life partners ,

  • @sizakelediya4080
    @sizakelediya4080 2 года назад +37

    I can 100% relate when your parents are something in the church you are made to be this perfect human beings and its like I'm just young gal like everyone else. Luckily for me I was able to get out of their sight after varsity I never came hope and I started growing up and having voice of my own. Plus I was very stubborn so they wouldn't be able to do that. The pressure to marry someone from church it was really but I'm grateful I was a virgo ♍ woman as I have very high standards so I realized they not good enough for me. Therapy also really help me because I realized the only common thing we have with this guy is church we are not compatible at all. So after I lived my life, I'm about to marry someone I chose and I'm not rushing even we not I'm good because I realise what Oprah said I want to be chosen. Marriage is not important for me. We living in a society who so judgemental while they not even meeting those high standards so i was saying today my single life I enjoyed it. Let a child, teenager or young adults enjoy their life. Marriage should what they want not what it forced to someone because it's not easy thing to do.

  • @msm5887
    @msm5887 2 года назад +59

    “It’s like a PR company, making sure that the story comes out right”

    • @nthabisengjazzbhebe
      @nthabisengjazzbhebe 2 года назад

      HECTIC!!!!
      🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️
      That line right there…

  • @tshepisondebele7131
    @tshepisondebele7131 2 года назад +6

    One major aspect I love about this series is how in a way, guests also highlight the major impact that therapy had in their journey to healing, gaining insight and power over their lives. I can only hope that this spread awareness about mental health and the dire need for therapy. Therapy has so many benefits and yes I acknowledge that private service may be expensive and often overlooked by medical aids but if we gain more allies in this fight. Mental health services may be given well deserved and high needed attention. There are mental health services in public hospitals and i would like to think that given we are trained the same, they also do an amazing job. Lets take that first step in taking charge of our lives and grow.
    Now I also want to give Relebogile her flowers. Your level of empathy,. unconditional positive regards and reflective interview skills makes me as a therapist (in training) very proud. You are very much aware and are helping us in this journey. Keep up the amazing. #ThereisNoHealthWithoutMentalHealth.

  • @samjnr1300
    @samjnr1300 2 года назад +12

    Don't let him go to magogo's house vele, after what they did to you ... they can damage him too.

  • @maite7174
    @maite7174 2 года назад +24

    Sometimes we underestimate the manipulation and suppression that comes from parents who are pastors. The marriage thing was probably the first time where she had to make real life decisions and unfortunately her parents' values and religion overshadowed her. With only about two years (post matric) of 'independence', it is still a very tall order to go against 18 years of indoctrination moulded into you by religious parents.
    She was young and in love...it's very easy to make decisions that in hindsight do not make any logical sense when you are at that age. She literally had no real life adult experience (other than being a student) at that point. Also sounds like it was her first serious relationship and since she didn't have a experience from not having open relationship with parents, I think she just didn't know how to put herself first - of which I don't blame her, we all learn this skill well into our 20s.
    With that said, she is old enough now and there is no harm in her actually taking accountability over her own life and child and stop with the blame game. I hope her therapy helps with her much needed healing.

    • @xolani2321
      @xolani2321 2 года назад +2

      I agree with you but I get that Her parents did not do proper damage control . They were not supposed to fast track her into marriage - that move was disastrous especially given that it was against her will . On the other hand , I would not call her parents religious per se , but they are Christians because I personally believe that there is a stark difference between the two (a topic for another day lol). I cant say they indoctrinated her too , they were just calling her to order because of her co-habiting

    • @ntandokazi5587
      @ntandokazi5587 Год назад

      Well said 💯

  • @Cryonic7740
    @Cryonic7740 2 года назад +14

    Wow, what a messed up situation. I hope that parents who are listening to this are realizing the effects of the things that they impose on their children. Yes we know they want the best for us, but they're best is not always aligned with reality or what we actually want for ourselves. I hope for the transformation of the parent-child relationship for us so that young women can always feel a sense of support from their parents. The world is already so tough for women.

  • @pointa2b388
    @pointa2b388 2 года назад +41

    The institution of marriage in its current form does not serve women at all. The involvement of government and churches into this, complicate matters more. When we say this, we are labelled angry feminists

    • @margaret9973
      @margaret9973 2 года назад +5

      As a married woman I absolutely agree with you

    • @tranquilsoothingsounds3334
      @tranquilsoothingsounds3334 2 года назад +3

      But surprisingly it is women who are always pushing for marriage. 🤷🏻‍♀️. Or do they just want only the wedding and not the marriage?

    • @margaret9973
      @margaret9973 2 года назад +8

      @@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 I think it has a lot to do with how women were raised , that we should get married and have kids. I got married in 2013 but it was mainly because my boy and I wanted to stay together not necessarily understanding what it means to be married. We were basically still boyfriend and girlfriend like to 2 individuals sharing a house and having sex with no guilt until last year when I decided I was done and when I was supposed to move out lockdown level 5 happened and I felt stuck but we did a whole lot of virtual therapy individually and as couple and we are in a better space today much better space that we planning a wedding to redefine our marriage.

    • @gcobisagwavu1352
      @gcobisagwavu1352 2 года назад +2

      @@margaret9973 I love this - we don't speak enough on how each marriage is defined by the people in it - I suspect because it's easier to blame other people when things go wrong. Good for you guys for being honest enough with each other to realise your initial reasons for getting into it were misguided and actively taking steps to rectify that - wishing you both many happy years together

  • @khanyisamakahane6840
    @khanyisamakahane6840 2 года назад +4

    Why did I get sad when she said she wants a wedding day . That can’t be the main reason you want to get married.

  • @fikileroma1478
    @fikileroma1478 9 месяцев назад +1

    Lets allow our children to choose what they want ,let them grow academically and be independent to be able to look after themselves.Marriage nowadays is not all that,our kids are intelligent they see a lot,we don't need to pressurise them.

  • @onkesigenu6243
    @onkesigenu6243 2 года назад +6

    I love how you acknowledge that the ex is also unable to heal ❤️
    Love and light 🙏🏾

  • @tshikanieve4948
    @tshikanieve4948 2 года назад +6

    Lesson learned from these episode is as a parents let us listen more to our children

  • @refiloesharonntuli7009
    @refiloesharonntuli7009 2 года назад +14

    This channel is indeed interesting and eye opener. Some parent are selfish because of society

  • @nthomengmajara8575
    @nthomengmajara8575 2 года назад +4

    It's the people coming for Faith for me, like they live in her head and know every aspect of her life. There is no way she will function like a mature 27 year old, she was stunted at 21. Healing and growth are not a straight line. It's messy, arduous and painful. Clearly she is in the thick of learning and growing. But some of y'all are quick to throw stones.

  • @sinazobogicevic3442
    @sinazobogicevic3442 2 года назад +15

    I think we need to acknowledge how toxic some parents are. This is a heartbreaking story that's replaying itself in so many households.

  • @zee4458
    @zee4458 2 года назад +31

    I think the parents are narcissistic including the ex-husband . They all Lack empathy and so much control??….. This is sad shame, she is beautiful she reminds me of Nonhle Thema.

    • @olebogengmeea8998
      @olebogengmeea8998 2 года назад +5

      That's what I picked also esp her father in all this he was protecting his image and ego at the expense of her daughter's wellbeing and happiness.

  • @lorrainemadure2837
    @lorrainemadure2837 2 года назад +3

    I'm glad u take accountability on giving him custody of ur son. I hope you can fight and win custody of him. A mother's love is everything.

  • @LifeWithSiEl
    @LifeWithSiEl 2 года назад +9

    Thank you for these insightful topics. We’re watching every single video and really learning so much.

  • @pamelasontsi9592
    @pamelasontsi9592 2 года назад +4

    Not judging but sometimes it’s important to follow the teachings and advice that your parents give you so that you can avoid certain things. Certain rules don’t need to be questioned, they are put in place to protect us. They don’t need us to go and test them out to see why our parents said we should stay away from them. I wish she hadn’t gone through everything that she went through because to us it a story to listen to but it was and is her reality. She has to go through it everyday . Sending you lots of love and healing ❤️

  • @thembisaodendaal
    @thembisaodendaal 2 года назад +8

    Thank u for sharing your story.im so sorry for the neglect and abandonment from your parents but you are a beautiful strong girl

  • @TJ-my9nh
    @TJ-my9nh 2 года назад +16

    Stay strong faith. I am sorry for what you went through.

  • @quuranq5876
    @quuranq5876 10 месяцев назад +1

    I feel bad bcoz i went through the same thing. But the difference is that my mom was totally in support of what I wanted and felt. Hence ended up not marrying the guy.

  • @hikertravellornatureenthus4816
    @hikertravellornatureenthus4816 2 года назад +7

    I am watching and learning as a parent. This show is so informative ❤️🥰😍

  • @brittanyperkins1932
    @brittanyperkins1932 2 года назад +2

    Her parents are DEFINITELY to blame. She DID NOT want this and now where are they whilst she fights for her son. I wish that I could help and hug her. She is so strong.

  • @madamflames
    @madamflames 2 года назад +5

    Beautiful episode. Thank you, such a eye opener. I love her personality

  • @theodora3456
    @theodora3456 2 года назад +5

    At this point I wouldn't even be describing them as my family🙄🙄

  • @o.letsobe5067
    @o.letsobe5067 2 года назад +2

    And you can hear that she is healing very well..A beautiful,well spoken lady indeed and you could tell that she is here to inspire and caution young girls and parents
    Sis Relebogile had less talking to do,she was to listen more in this interview and she is a good listener,more like a parent listening to her daughter,,,,,

  • @urshieurshie212
    @urshieurshie212 2 года назад +16

    May this be a lesson to us as parents. Sometimes we might mean good, but let's also learn to pause and think about the repercussions of our decision making towards our kids lives. Faith I'm sorry for everything that happened between you and your parents, but maybe also just try to put yourself in their shoes. They were really caught between a rock and a hard place. Imagine the pressure of a parent wanting the best for their child, no parent sees bad in their child my dear. At that time they thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. I'm hoping your relationship with your parents can only grow stronger after all that has happened. Make peace with everything dear, it was written from the beginning. May you and your ex husband find peace and also find a way to communicate and have an amicable relationship for the sake of your son, because he needs the both of you. Your son knows you love him, his not on pause, but his growing mentally and physically everyday. He will know the truth, because truth remains the truth. We all go through challenges in life, but it's how we overcome them that makes us who we are. You've done very well so far and God will keep on strengthening you. Relebogile thank you for today's topic, I believe it had a lot of lessons for both parents and kids too. Thank you

    • @Nokss87
      @Nokss87 2 года назад +1

      Ya but you said NOTHING about parents thinking from HER POINT OF VIEW. You missed the part where she said "they forgive her for HER MISTAKES". When will society expect parents to do better?? They're always being EXCUSED...aren't they the adult's in this situation?? It's a lesson that people have kids not to love and raise them but they have kids because of their "image". Sad.

  • @candyphillipchipopa7879
    @candyphillipchipopa7879 2 года назад +2

    Thanks for bringing out and sharing these stories with us... always learning

  • @thandiwengqwebo574
    @thandiwengqwebo574 2 года назад +4

    Thank you Rele … we receiving your content so well ❤️❤️

  • @nonkanyisondlovu5069
    @nonkanyisondlovu5069 2 года назад +29

    I'm always caught unaware with the topics covered here. Sis you are doing a good job 🥰🥰🥰

  • @pablo_brown.5834
    @pablo_brown.5834 2 года назад +16

    i can relate to her story, my son lives with his dad and he controls everything, sad part about me is i dont have parents so he takes advantage of that, baby daddy issues are real

  • @thenonhlechannel4795
    @thenonhlechannel4795 2 года назад +7

    This was such a hectic situation she was in. I hope Faith is doing better now❤️

  • @shirleymadzivhandila5337
    @shirleymadzivhandila5337 2 года назад +3

    I loved the part where she said she believe in happily married or happily single

  • @tebogop8818
    @tebogop8818 2 года назад +10

    She’s so well spoken, strong and smart young lady who shared her story so beautifully. I hope her relationship with her family, ex husband and son will change for the better 🙏🏿.
    Relebogile you are doing an amazing job as always.

  • @angelinamagazi6493
    @angelinamagazi6493 2 года назад +2

    Relebogile is very good at this. Faith was also such a good sport. What a great interview thanks guys!

  • @tshepangsmith5849
    @tshepangsmith5849 2 года назад +3

    I'm so inspired by this lady💯... I hope and pray that you get a chance to be the mother you wish to be to your son. Okungapheli kuyahlola so stay strong 💪 all will be owk❤.. May God bless you.

  • @dineogenie
    @dineogenie 2 года назад +1

    Smart, beautiful and resilient young woman. Wish her all the best

  • @nomxhosapekani7966
    @nomxhosapekani7966 2 года назад +3

    Point of Correction, The Institution of marriage based on Religion is toxic and supresses woman, some of us have circular lifestyles and we are enjoying our partnerships, because we please each other and no one else.

  • @ritasotshantshi1649
    @ritasotshantshi1649 2 года назад +2

    when she spoke about varsity adjustment I got very emotional because i thought i am the only one struggling with that, i wish people could understand academics is 50% of your peoblems in varsity then comes psychological problems, adjusting,etc ...I wish there was pre-varsity counseling....

  • @Nokss87
    @Nokss87 2 года назад +1

    I resonate so much with her story, especially the part about doing what makes YOU happy. Nucleus family I think is very oppressive and suffocating because parents literally incubate you to be what THEY want instead of raising you to be yourself. I have an overbearing mother too and she can't fathom that I have a mind of my own or my own dreams and feels the need to approve anything I do as if she's God of my life.
    I really hate people who parent you with "what are people going to think" mentality it really kills one's spirit and confidence in life.
    My name also means faith FYI so I'm sending strength and love to Faith regarding her son.
    Thank you for sharing your story Sisi, you're very brave and resilient.
    ❤❤❤

  • @nomvelomasango8484
    @nomvelomasango8484 Год назад +1

    What a touching story. Love and light to this young woman ❤️

  • @Lungelo911
    @Lungelo911 2 года назад +7

    You’re so beautiful Faith. I hope you find a genuine love. ❤️

  • @simamkelefatuse7791
    @simamkelefatuse7791 2 года назад +16

    Rele we appreciate this show. It teaches us a lot, even about the things we thought we knew.

  • @RefLekhanya
    @RefLekhanya 2 года назад +3

    Yhooo she definitely unpacked.....
    #May you heal completely beautiful faith
    🤗

  • @katlegomogapi
    @katlegomogapi 2 года назад +2

    Jeez... So sorry my sister.
    I understand and have experienced this type of manipulation.
    Be patient. A lie can go around the world while the truth is still tying is laces. You will pull through. Persist...!

  • @boledielizabethmaake8369
    @boledielizabethmaake8369 2 года назад +1

    Faith my dear I wish you all the best with your journey, hope you will win this Battle and spend more time with your son. I wish that as black parents (pastors) we must know that we are parents to our kids not pastors in order for our kids to have a relationship with us. this is very heart breaking . Praying for you dear.

  • @iziledube-mthembo1360
    @iziledube-mthembo1360 2 года назад

    Im loving this keeping a journal thing. It will help the kid alot. I know alot of people who have unanswered questions and the thought of journal would have helped them alot.

  • @pamelasontsi9592
    @pamelasontsi9592 2 года назад +1

    This really broke my heart. I really hope that things look up for Faith in all aspects of her life .