For whaat. Children must learn to obey their parents. You cant blame your parents for stupid decisions that you make. Own your mistakes why do you move in with someone you don't want to marry you are already sleeping you might as well sign and feel it.
@@trishmncube6628 Am glad you've never went through what majority of children goes through with their parents. Such are never discussed. But if her parents could see that she was suffering emotionally, and started telling her to leave this very man they pushed her to marry shows that they failed her and that's the SORRY in question.
It's Relebogile asking "What do you take responsibility for?' for me....such a necessary question for so many of us. Thank you for an enlightening show
I wish parents would just stop and listen to their kids more often. I'm so glad Faith got out and is doing much better today, I hope things work out for her with her son💚
I support this....it's the most untouched subject..even after birth no body cares about how u feel.u just gotta adjust as long as "the baby is healthy " it's tough
After listening to her talk about Varsity adjustments, it made me really appreciate my time in boarding school. Varsity was easy for me, and normal. I already knew how to take care of myself and be far from parents ☺️
I went to normal high school and when it was time for varsity I lived with my older sister and her family I only moved out when I got married and now I live with my hubby and our daughter 🤣
Good for you. If a high school child can adjust to boarding school, surely a 19 year old can adjust to university because they are older. Also there are many, many people who did not go to boarding school and did just fine and adjusted well in varsity. For this woman, I feel like she is making excuses for deciding to vat en sit with a boyfriend in varsity
You knoooowww?!🤯 Whenever my mom doesn't approve of something that I do, and asks the question "uzawtshatela phi xa unje?" I make sure I let her know that, just because she feels like she achieved a great deal by getting married to my dad, getting married is not even on my "bucket list". If I get married, then that's great. If I don't then great. We're living and growing in a different generation. My goal is to be INDEPENDENT.
This is just nonsense our people got from Christianity, and strange the people who brought us this Chistianity the Europeans don't live by it at all. They have as many abotions they want and plan their marraiges and children when they are financially and emotionally sound. Unlike us living with the WWPSS- What will people say sydrome. Sad how we have allowed foreign religions controls us.😪😪😪
Marriage was an achievement for most of our parents, and it's still is for other people today I think this is a personal choice we can't look down on others just because marriage is an achievement to them.
This was so sensitive to me 🥺🥺. This really hurts so much, how our black families forces us into situations all in the name of pleasing the society or those around them. I'm so glad you came out alive in that relationship.All will be well one day ❤️
People who are too religious, too this and that, too cultural, are just too problematic. The following of rules without questioning them is a serious problem
What's upsetting is that they were not there for her when she went through the divorce or when she's fighting for her child even though they forced her into marriage.
They never help with anything Nkule. I want grandkids: Not help with child-rearing. I want you to get married: Not help with wedding expenses. I want you to get a degree: No school-fees money.
So a grown , 27 year old, married woman who is also a mother is supposed to have her parents hold her hand in through her divorce? When are we supposed to cut umbilical cords ? With the divorce , I honestly don’t think the parents meant any harm , it was just tough love .They were trying to let her take responsibility for a change as an ADULT! Remember she chose to stay with her boyfriend, which in itself is an adult choice that has adult consequences. But then again I might be wrong. It’s a pity we are getting only her version of the story, all the other people are not here to state their versions .
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 Yes. As black people we build conjoined families. When there is an issue within marriage, we discuss it as a family & offer a support structure. Especially a mess they started.
@@LM-he7eb alright. I hear you. But for me , as a black person , I will cut my support for my kids as soon as they become adults so that they can grow and be responsible functional adults . Everyone has their own way of parenting because there is no full proof manual of parenting.
I resonate with what she saying but I am glad I was able to stand my ground... parents can be bullies that is why it is important to have your own voice as an individual
Thank you soooooo much for letting her vent... we pray for her healing. This was very necessary. You were so patient with her and this is always a judgment free place. Aluta continua!!
I can 100% relate when your parents are something in the church you are made to be this perfect human beings and its like I'm just young gal like everyone else. Luckily for me I was able to get out of their sight after varsity I never came hope and I started growing up and having voice of my own. Plus I was very stubborn so they wouldn't be able to do that. The pressure to marry someone from church it was really but I'm grateful I was a virgo ♍ woman as I have very high standards so I realized they not good enough for me. Therapy also really help me because I realized the only common thing we have with this guy is church we are not compatible at all. So after I lived my life, I'm about to marry someone I chose and I'm not rushing even we not I'm good because I realise what Oprah said I want to be chosen. Marriage is not important for me. We living in a society who so judgemental while they not even meeting those high standards so i was saying today my single life I enjoyed it. Let a child, teenager or young adults enjoy their life. Marriage should what they want not what it forced to someone because it's not easy thing to do.
Some children can’t even tell parents they don’t wanna get married. Too scared to speak up. For parents to have ignored her voiced out feelings about the matter is truly telling. Our African parents need to do better. They are generally bullies. But I think they mean well. They think they’re doing “the right thing”.
It's quite unfortunate that in most black churches, talking about sex is considered as something that will encourage young people to have sex. Yet that's not true at all...I mean personally, I believe that there is a difference between exposing young people to "inappropriate" content and informing them about something. Hence I feel like as Christians we should normalize having open, honest and informative conversations about sex (and other topics as well).
Th church I went to discussed sex often, equipping us well to abstain. I think that is how I will raise my children, teach them and leave it up to them
I heard the part when she said her mother couldnt separate being mama mfundisi and being a mother (thats true) . Most parents who are servants of God need to rectify that part because they tend to be very vocal and outspoken when addressing purity,chastity issues to their congregants and fail to have deep and close conversations with their own kids on sex matters because it seems like Faith didnt know that co-habiting was a sin from the word go (scripturally its fornication) . So her pastor parents were trying to do damage control by getting them married faster and do the right but they too skipped/flouted standard procedures . First of all Faith was supposed to be willing to be married (which she didnt) , Secondly I think they should have just denied them to stay together instead of forcing them to marry .
Narcissistic Parents would be a great topic of discussion (narcissistic personality disorder). We often hear about Narcissistic friends, partners,bosses etc but the parents category I feel like is still an "underground". This one is immensely deep & cuts like a mf and takes forever to work through. Thank you for a good episode Rele♥️🌻
@@naledindlovu976 It's all intentional honestly, as a human who has gone through human experiences and knows the effect certain things have on people and still going through with those actions and causing trauma to your kids all in the name of being christian then you arent a good person and you arent really christian. Your 20+ years of life and all these religious teachings and the bible talking about watching your words, not provoking your children, bible verses on how much words affect people, and you want to tell me you dont think all the things you do are the reason i hated you, myself and the family. ???? No. Religious parents are monsters who make monsters.
@@olorato9563you said it all. Being a pastor doesn't mean you are above Jesus, we are all sinners. You can't force a kid in marriage bringing all sorts of dumb excuses about what will the society and community think. That's reading the bible upside down. Her parents failed her big time and still doing so. If it was for society then, what's the same society thinking of them when they are no where to seen in these court proceedings. But I am happy she found herself and her voice that's the most important thing
My mother was forced into marrying her cousin who is my dad. Before the wedding she ran away to Gauteng from limpopo but was tracked down and brought back for the wedding. They then divorced 7 yrs laster when I was 3 and that was the last time I saw my dad because my mom kept on hiding us from him bcos he wanted to take me especially as I was a baby boy. My dad passed on in '87 when I was 11 yrs old and I only found out about it when I started wanting him in my life and my mom kept on not wanting me to have a relationship with him. 3 yrs I managed to track his family and I found his wife and my other half siblings who welcomed me with warm arms because my dad had told his wife should I turn up one day she must receive. My mom passed away 15 yrs ago.
That's the thing about a lot of so called Christians, they do things for people and never really for themselves and what their conscience/the higher power is telling them to do.
To be honest I can relate, 2 kids and divorced and I wish my mom was there to tell me what a wife is suppose to be like. I was so broken and scared because I didn't know how to be a mother. 11 years later I have the best kids and I am picking up the pieces, I am the best mom today and ready to be the best wife.
@@stephinahtlhako4546 speak for yourself sis, some of us had wonderful parents. Strange enough as an adult, I actually appreciate how strict they were because their 4 children turned out much, much better than most of those who’s parents were more liberal around us . For that I can’t thank them enough.
Yoh some parents can be so toxic and neglectful. May God be the parents that you've always needed and give you strength to fight for child. He will never leave nor forsake you🙏❤
One major aspect I love about this series is how in a way, guests also highlight the major impact that therapy had in their journey to healing, gaining insight and power over their lives. I can only hope that this spread awareness about mental health and the dire need for therapy. Therapy has so many benefits and yes I acknowledge that private service may be expensive and often overlooked by medical aids but if we gain more allies in this fight. Mental health services may be given well deserved and high needed attention. There are mental health services in public hospitals and i would like to think that given we are trained the same, they also do an amazing job. Lets take that first step in taking charge of our lives and grow. Now I also want to give Relebogile her flowers. Your level of empathy,. unconditional positive regards and reflective interview skills makes me as a therapist (in training) very proud. You are very much aware and are helping us in this journey. Keep up the amazing. #ThereisNoHealthWithoutMentalHealth.
Wow.... toxic parents who always want to "preserve the family's honour" 🙄. Most African parents don't listen to their children but want to have a working relationship with the said children at the same time.
The institution of marriage in its current form does not serve women at all. The involvement of government and churches into this, complicate matters more. When we say this, we are labelled angry feminists
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 I think it has a lot to do with how women were raised , that we should get married and have kids. I got married in 2013 but it was mainly because my boy and I wanted to stay together not necessarily understanding what it means to be married. We were basically still boyfriend and girlfriend like to 2 individuals sharing a house and having sex with no guilt until last year when I decided I was done and when I was supposed to move out lockdown level 5 happened and I felt stuck but we did a whole lot of virtual therapy individually and as couple and we are in a better space today much better space that we planning a wedding to redefine our marriage.
@@margaret9973 I love this - we don't speak enough on how each marriage is defined by the people in it - I suspect because it's easier to blame other people when things go wrong. Good for you guys for being honest enough with each other to realise your initial reasons for getting into it were misguided and actively taking steps to rectify that - wishing you both many happy years together
Wow, what a messed up situation. I hope that parents who are listening to this are realizing the effects of the things that they impose on their children. Yes we know they want the best for us, but they're best is not always aligned with reality or what we actually want for ourselves. I hope for the transformation of the parent-child relationship for us so that young women can always feel a sense of support from their parents. The world is already so tough for women.
Not judging but sometimes it’s important to follow the teachings and advice that your parents give you so that you can avoid certain things. Certain rules don’t need to be questioned, they are put in place to protect us. They don’t need us to go and test them out to see why our parents said we should stay away from them. I wish she hadn’t gone through everything that she went through because to us it a story to listen to but it was and is her reality. She has to go through it everyday . Sending you lots of love and healing ❤️
May this be a lesson to us as parents. Sometimes we might mean good, but let's also learn to pause and think about the repercussions of our decision making towards our kids lives. Faith I'm sorry for everything that happened between you and your parents, but maybe also just try to put yourself in their shoes. They were really caught between a rock and a hard place. Imagine the pressure of a parent wanting the best for their child, no parent sees bad in their child my dear. At that time they thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. I'm hoping your relationship with your parents can only grow stronger after all that has happened. Make peace with everything dear, it was written from the beginning. May you and your ex husband find peace and also find a way to communicate and have an amicable relationship for the sake of your son, because he needs the both of you. Your son knows you love him, his not on pause, but his growing mentally and physically everyday. He will know the truth, because truth remains the truth. We all go through challenges in life, but it's how we overcome them that makes us who we are. You've done very well so far and God will keep on strengthening you. Relebogile thank you for today's topic, I believe it had a lot of lessons for both parents and kids too. Thank you
Ya but you said NOTHING about parents thinking from HER POINT OF VIEW. You missed the part where she said "they forgive her for HER MISTAKES". When will society expect parents to do better?? They're always being EXCUSED...aren't they the adult's in this situation?? It's a lesson that people have kids not to love and raise them but they have kids because of their "image". Sad.
I love her so much. However, she can't be a victim of everything. I still sense a lack of ownership especially in the end, her and the lawyer should have known better about parenting not her parents. You can't be rescued from having the feeling of wanting to be with your child, I was not impressed by her shift in responsibility. I understand how she really didn't want this child and her actions then may be interpreted as freeing herself from the situation and the child. Monday to Monday is a hustle but she did not explain what she did to try to make it up to the kid while rightfully chasing her career. Love and light sis. 💜
I think the parents are narcissistic including the ex-husband . They all Lack empathy and so much control??….. This is sad shame, she is beautiful she reminds me of Nonhle Thema.
She’s so well spoken, strong and smart young lady who shared her story so beautifully. I hope her relationship with her family, ex husband and son will change for the better 🙏🏿. Relebogile you are doing an amazing job as always.
i can relate to her story, my son lives with his dad and he controls everything, sad part about me is i dont have parents so he takes advantage of that, baby daddy issues are real
And you can hear that she is healing very well..A beautiful,well spoken lady indeed and you could tell that she is here to inspire and caution young girls and parents Sis Relebogile had less talking to do,she was to listen more in this interview and she is a good listener,more like a parent listening to her daughter,,,,,
Thank you Faith for sharing your story. You so young, beautiful, smart and very strong. I'm glad that you are in therapy and finding healing, wish you the best in life.
Most of the times I look at other people and wonder how it feels to have a fully present family that partake in their lives but when I hear these stories I'm also grateful that my decisions are my own
Her parents are DEFINITELY to blame. She DID NOT want this and now where are they whilst she fights for her son. I wish that I could help and hug her. She is so strong.
I'm so inspired by this lady💯... I hope and pray that you get a chance to be the mother you wish to be to your son. Okungapheli kuyahlola so stay strong 💪 all will be owk❤.. May God bless you.
It's the people coming for Faith for me, like they live in her head and know every aspect of her life. There is no way she will function like a mature 27 year old, she was stunted at 21. Healing and growth are not a straight line. It's messy, arduous and painful. Clearly she is in the thick of learning and growing. But some of y'all are quick to throw stones.
when she spoke about varsity adjustment I got very emotional because i thought i am the only one struggling with that, i wish people could understand academics is 50% of your peoblems in varsity then comes psychological problems, adjusting,etc ...I wish there was pre-varsity counseling....
Point of Correction, The Institution of marriage based on Religion is toxic and supresses woman, some of us have circular lifestyles and we are enjoying our partnerships, because we please each other and no one else.
Shuuu! This girl is bruised man ...only because the parents wanted to look good in the eyes of people. The very same God they usually say we're sinning against or shaming is ever present meaning that at the time when the sin or living in sin in this case happened God was there. Now why conceal the truth from One who knows it all .. people can be hypocrites maan nx!
Sometimes with over bearing parents it's best to shut down, in some situations cause it's doesn't matter how loud you scream - they just don't want to hear your thoughts or respect your decisions.
Dear Faith, I want through the control phase were my kids were the point of power for my ex hubby.I received the same advise to give it time .Children grow ...he will be by your side in due time...my kids are all with me and totally on my side...we have made amends and growing in love...their father finally accepted co parenting..the same children made it possible as they learned that their father made up stories to torment me a to keep me vulnerable to him.. Time will heal the child and you...keep loving him..any chance you get...all the best girl...
I can relate...experienced a pastor initiating & putting a girl very close to my heart into a marriage...forced marriage where they made her believe she has to...
Jeez... So sorry my sister. I understand and have experienced this type of manipulation. Be patient. A lie can go around the world while the truth is still tying is laces. You will pull through. Persist...!
Lets allow our children to choose what they want ,let them grow academically and be independent to be able to look after themselves.Marriage nowadays is not all that,our kids are intelligent they see a lot,we don't need to pressurise them.
Am so proud of you my darling sis for standing up for your self. As for your son your relationship with him will never die you two have a special bond from the lord . Am so disappointed with your parents for not standing by you during this difficult time in your life. Shame on them. What would they had preferred? You leaving the marriage alive or dead? Keep doing your thing baby girl. By the way you are so beautiful and very eloquent ❤❤
Yoh hectic! I honestly feel like her parents failed her and it's sad that they don't want to acknowledge. Pastor parents needs to understand that they are also human beings with kids who are not perfect & make mistakes. You cannot sacrifice your image at church & the society at the expense of your own children. You rebuke them but embrace them while guiding them in the correct path. I'm so sorry Faith, happy that you are slowly healing & I wish you all the best with your son. He will grow up to know & see the truth❤️
I resonate so much with her story, especially the part about doing what makes YOU happy. Nucleus family I think is very oppressive and suffocating because parents literally incubate you to be what THEY want instead of raising you to be yourself. I have an overbearing mother too and she can't fathom that I have a mind of my own or my own dreams and feels the need to approve anything I do as if she's God of my life. I really hate people who parent you with "what are people going to think" mentality it really kills one's spirit and confidence in life. My name also means faith FYI so I'm sending strength and love to Faith regarding her son. Thank you for sharing your story Sisi, you're very brave and resilient. ❤❤❤
She is basically interviewing herself... she's giving it all out...
I love her energy ♥️
Yeah i kinda wish Relebogile gave atleast half the energy coz it seems like she is a mother listening to her child telling tales😕
I love that Relebogile is allowing her to be 😊
@@couchpumpkin1631 there was nothing Rele could do. there is barely fullstops
@@couchpumpkin1631 sad
Yohh aa😕
Black parents must learn to apologise to their children, you are not giving your power away
louder
For whaat. Children must learn to obey their parents. You cant blame your parents for stupid decisions that you make. Own your mistakes why do you move in with someone you don't want to marry you are already sleeping you might as well sign and feel it.
@@trishmncube6628 thanks you ..
@@trishmncube6628 Am glad you've never went through what majority of children goes through with their parents. Such are never discussed.
But if her parents could see that she was suffering emotionally, and started telling her to leave this very man they pushed her to marry shows that they failed her and that's the SORRY in question.
@@trishmncube6628 most relationships start this way, then move in, either break up or marry at their own choices and not influenced by parents.
It’s the variety of topics for me! Everyday is a pleasant surprise! Siyabonga
What does “Siyabonga” mean?
@@WILMA_ it means thank you 😊
Literally!!
@@nosip9950 - thank you! No pun intended.
It's Relebogile asking "What do you take responsibility for?' for me....such a necessary question for so many of us. Thank you for an enlightening show
Yeah because we hardly take Accountability of the roles we play in situations.
True
I don’t feel like this guest took responsibility for anything…! It’s seems as if everyone else is to blame for all her misfortune in life.
@@tahashaholloway3688thank you for saying this... She blames her parents for her mistakes
This was not an interview, she was proper offloading. Hope she gets her son back one day and she heals and has a very happy life
This is what most people need ,to tell their stories without judgment.
I wish parents would just stop and listen to their kids more often. I'm so glad Faith got out and is doing much better today, I hope things work out for her with her son💚
Its honesty sad hey
"No matter the kind of environment you are in, choose who you want to be in that environment" That is powerful!
Im forever learning from the individuals brought onto this show . Could you please adress post-partum depression in a future episode❤️🙏🏽
Yes, great idea and suffered by many in our culture but not discussed.
I support this....it's the most untouched subject..even after birth no body cares about how u feel.u just gotta adjust as long as "the baby is healthy " it's tough
And it's very much deeper.. I know it... Been through it... Even tried to commit suicide... I would be happy to have such episode here...
Brilliant idea💡💖
Thats a good suggestion 💛💛
After listening to her talk about Varsity adjustments, it made me really appreciate my time in boarding school. Varsity was easy for me, and normal. I already knew how to take care of myself and be far from parents ☺️
I went to normal high school and when it was time for varsity I lived with my older sister and her family I only moved out when I got married and now I live with my hubby and our daughter 🤣
Good for you.
If a high school child can adjust to boarding school, surely a 19 year old can adjust to university because they are older.
Also there are many, many people who did not go to boarding school and did just fine and adjusted well in varsity.
For this woman, I feel like she is making excuses for deciding to vat en sit with a boyfriend in varsity
I never had problem of adjusting to university. I went to normal school but was so much responsible at younger age.
Same here hey
@@seithatintumelangsetswanap2639 I can relate
The only problem we as the black society thinks marriage is an achievement.😥😥😥
You knoooowww?!🤯 Whenever my mom doesn't approve of something that I do, and asks the question "uzawtshatela phi xa unje?" I make sure I let her know that, just because she feels like she achieved a great deal by getting married to my dad, getting married is not even on my "bucket list". If I get married, then that's great. If I don't then great.
We're living and growing in a different generation. My goal is to be INDEPENDENT.
@@alizwantuku6018 the goal is to be independent doll . And marriage isn’t an achievement at all. Well said
This is just nonsense our people got from Christianity, and strange the people who brought us this Chistianity the Europeans don't live by it at all. They have as many abotions they want and plan their marraiges and children when they are financially and emotionally sound. Unlike us living with the WWPSS- What will people say sydrome. Sad how we have allowed foreign religions controls us.😪😪😪
Marriage was an achievement for most of our parents, and it's still is for other people today I think this is a personal choice we can't look down on others just because marriage is an achievement to them.
But most of the marriages seem to be miserable.
This was so sensitive to me 🥺🥺. This really hurts so much, how our black families forces us into situations all in the name of pleasing the society or those around them. I'm so glad you came out alive in that relationship.All will be well one day ❤️
People who are too religious, too this and that, too cultural, are just too problematic. The following of rules without questioning them is a serious problem
This comment right here...👌🏾
I love how she owns her truth. 🥺
It’s definitely not the end of her story. There is big bright hope here. She is walking the right path 🌟
I wonder why her parents didn't make her move out instead of forcing them to get
married.
They probably protecting their image as a family.
U know!!???
They were inlove during that time
@@SuperSebza yeah. But they could have continued their relationships while living separately.
She said she refused to go
What's upsetting is that they were not there for her when she went through the divorce or when she's fighting for her child even though they forced her into marriage.
They never help with anything Nkule.
I want grandkids: Not help with child-rearing.
I want you to get married: Not help with wedding expenses.
I want you to get a degree: No school-fees money.
So a grown , 27 year old, married woman who is also a mother is supposed to have her parents hold her hand in through her divorce?
When are we supposed to cut umbilical cords ?
With the divorce , I honestly don’t think the parents meant any harm , it was just tough love .They were trying to let her take responsibility for a change as an ADULT! Remember she chose to stay with her boyfriend, which in itself is an adult choice that has adult consequences.
But then again I might be wrong. It’s a pity we are getting only her version of the story, all the other people are not here to state their versions .
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 Yes. As black people we build conjoined families. When there is an issue within marriage, we discuss it as a family & offer a support structure. Especially a mess they started.
@@LM-he7eb alright. I hear you. But for me , as a black person , I will cut my support for my kids as soon as they become adults so that they can grow and be responsible functional adults .
Everyone has their own way of parenting because there is no full proof manual of parenting.
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 Don’t accept lobola neither
I resonate with what she saying but I am glad I was able to stand my ground... parents can be bullies that is why it is important to have your own voice as an individual
Same here
It seems like we are many hey........
A beautiful woman owning her story, love the wisdom and the strength. Sending warm hugs and light to her. ♥
I also believe in happily single and happily married. Nothing in between
The attempted censorship of the swear words gets me all the time🤣💀
😂😂 attempted
😩🤣🤣
I said the same thing 😂😂😂😂 they must just stop
Her experience has taught me a lot about parenting ❤️
Thank you soooooo much for letting her vent... we pray for her healing. This was very necessary. You were so patient with her and this is always a judgment free place. Aluta continua!!
These parents were ruled by fear and not by love, it is a pity.
I can 100% relate when your parents are something in the church you are made to be this perfect human beings and its like I'm just young gal like everyone else. Luckily for me I was able to get out of their sight after varsity I never came hope and I started growing up and having voice of my own. Plus I was very stubborn so they wouldn't be able to do that. The pressure to marry someone from church it was really but I'm grateful I was a virgo ♍ woman as I have very high standards so I realized they not good enough for me. Therapy also really help me because I realized the only common thing we have with this guy is church we are not compatible at all. So after I lived my life, I'm about to marry someone I chose and I'm not rushing even we not I'm good because I realise what Oprah said I want to be chosen. Marriage is not important for me. We living in a society who so judgemental while they not even meeting those high standards so i was saying today my single life I enjoyed it. Let a child, teenager or young adults enjoy their life. Marriage should what they want not what it forced to someone because it's not easy thing to do.
Some children can’t even tell parents they don’t wanna get married. Too scared to speak up. For parents to have ignored her voiced out feelings about the matter is truly telling. Our African parents need to do better. They are generally bullies. But I think they mean well. They think they’re doing “the right thing”.
I wish people wouldn't view marriage as achievement, a final destination or a damage control strategy 😕
Yes!
It's quite unfortunate that in most black churches, talking about sex is considered as something that will encourage young people to have sex. Yet that's not true at all...I mean personally, I believe that there is a difference between exposing young people to "inappropriate" content and informing them about something. Hence I feel like as Christians we should normalize having open, honest and informative conversations about sex (and other topics as well).
Th church I went to discussed sex often, equipping us well to abstain. I think that is how I will raise my children, teach them and leave it up to them
I heard the part when she said her mother couldnt separate being mama mfundisi and being a mother (thats true) . Most parents who are servants of God need to rectify that part because they tend to be very vocal and outspoken when addressing purity,chastity issues to their congregants and fail to have deep and close conversations with their own kids on sex matters because it seems like Faith didnt know that co-habiting was a sin from the word go (scripturally its fornication) . So her pastor parents were trying to do damage control by getting them married faster and do the right but they too skipped/flouted standard procedures . First of all Faith was supposed to be willing to be married (which she didnt) , Secondly I think they should have just denied them to stay together instead of forcing them to marry .
Narcissistic Parents would be a great topic of discussion (narcissistic personality disorder). We often hear about Narcissistic friends, partners,bosses etc but the parents category I feel like is still an "underground". This one is immensely deep & cuts like a mf and takes forever to work through.
Thank you for a good episode Rele♥️🌻
And there are a lot of narcissistic parents
@@luyandadlamini8576 100% agreed.And they do so much damage.This is a conversation that needs to be had
Narcissistic family for that matter. How does one audition to be on the show?
Exactly - when raised by narcs you gravitate towards them in relationships
Yes
I love her energy, she was not even waiting for Relebogile to ask some of the questions. Christian parents can be cruel.
I doubt it's by intent but it does come across as cruelty
@@naledindlovu976 It's all intentional honestly, as a human who has gone through human experiences and knows the effect certain things have on people and still going through with those actions and causing trauma to your kids all in the name of being christian then you arent a good person and you arent really christian. Your 20+ years of life and all these religious teachings and the bible talking about watching your words, not provoking your children, bible verses on how much words affect people, and you want to tell me you dont think all the things you do are the reason i hated you, myself and the family. ???? No. Religious parents are monsters who make monsters.
@@olorato9563you said it all.
Being a pastor doesn't mean you are above Jesus, we are all sinners. You can't force a kid in marriage bringing all sorts of dumb excuses about what will the society and community think. That's reading the bible upside down. Her parents failed her big time and still doing so. If it was for society then, what's the same society thinking of them when they are no where to seen in these court proceedings. But I am happy she found herself and her voice that's the most important thing
its not only in Christianity...all religions
Faith is all sorts of beautiful.
"Sometimes you need to separate yourself from being a pastor and a mom"
So powerful ❤
My mother was forced into marrying her cousin who is my dad. Before the wedding she ran away to Gauteng from limpopo but was tracked down and brought back for the wedding. They then divorced 7 yrs laster when I was 3 and that was the last time I saw my dad because my mom kept on hiding us from him bcos he wanted to take me especially as I was a baby boy. My dad passed on in '87 when I was 11 yrs old and I only found out about it when I started wanting him in my life and my mom kept on not wanting me to have a relationship with him. 3 yrs I managed to track his family and I found his wife and my other half siblings who welcomed me with warm arms because my dad had told his wife should I turn up one day she must receive. My mom passed away 15 yrs ago.
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through this as a child into adult hood. You just never know the trails in someone else's life 🙏🏾
thats sad, sorry man.....
A lot of things were done in the name of " what will people think". What a shame.
That's the thing about a lot of so called Christians, they do things for people and never really for themselves and what their conscience/the higher power is telling them to do.
To be honest I can relate, 2 kids and divorced and I wish my mom was there to tell me what a wife is suppose to be like. I was so broken and scared because I didn't know how to be a mother. 11 years later I have the best kids and I am picking up the pieces, I am the best mom today and ready to be the best wife.
God bless your journey ♥️♥️🙏
As old as I am I still believe our parents are the problem
@Nonchalant M that's true how dare they control our lives to such an extend
@@stephinahtlhako4546 speak for yourself sis, some of us had wonderful parents.
Strange enough as an adult, I actually appreciate how strict they were because their 4 children turned out much, much better than most of those who’s parents were more liberal around us . For that I can’t thank them enough.
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334exactly am speaking for myself why else would I speak for someone else. Your parents did a good job
So many toxic parents but no one is ready for that conversation.. quick to blame the children always...
Wow such a dangerous general approach ,parents are important to anyone that have them
Yoh some parents can be so toxic and neglectful. May God be the parents that you've always needed and give you strength to fight for child. He will never leave nor forsake you🙏❤
That wasn’t even lobola it was more of a transaction 💔.
One major aspect I love about this series is how in a way, guests also highlight the major impact that therapy had in their journey to healing, gaining insight and power over their lives. I can only hope that this spread awareness about mental health and the dire need for therapy. Therapy has so many benefits and yes I acknowledge that private service may be expensive and often overlooked by medical aids but if we gain more allies in this fight. Mental health services may be given well deserved and high needed attention. There are mental health services in public hospitals and i would like to think that given we are trained the same, they also do an amazing job. Lets take that first step in taking charge of our lives and grow.
Now I also want to give Relebogile her flowers. Your level of empathy,. unconditional positive regards and reflective interview skills makes me as a therapist (in training) very proud. You are very much aware and are helping us in this journey. Keep up the amazing. #ThereisNoHealthWithoutMentalHealth.
"If you're in the situation, choose the kind of person you want to be"
This is the content. Relebogile understands the assignment 😁✌️👌🇿🇦. I’m never bored
She is so beautiful 😘❤❤❤❤
Wow.... toxic parents who always want to "preserve the family's honour" 🙄. Most African parents don't listen to their children but want to have a working relationship with the said children at the same time.
She looks like a young Nonhle Thema.
Her not being able to see her son, is painful. I hope that is worked out soon.
Yoh, these chats are hectic 😭😩
Imagine being forced to marry, Yoh mina I’d run
The Fact That The Family Never Asked a Priest To do Pre-Martial Counselling, and Forced the situation is Just 💔😢….
True 😭
While they [parents] were priests 😭
I think we need to acknowledge how toxic some parents are. This is a heartbreaking story that's replaying itself in so many households.
I love how you acknowledge that the ex is also unable to heal ❤️
Love and light 🙏🏾
"When she said I am doing this so that girls could learn" 😩😍
The institution of marriage in its current form does not serve women at all. The involvement of government and churches into this, complicate matters more. When we say this, we are labelled angry feminists
As a married woman I absolutely agree with you
But surprisingly it is women who are always pushing for marriage. 🤷🏻♀️. Or do they just want only the wedding and not the marriage?
@@tranquilsoothingsounds3334 I think it has a lot to do with how women were raised , that we should get married and have kids. I got married in 2013 but it was mainly because my boy and I wanted to stay together not necessarily understanding what it means to be married. We were basically still boyfriend and girlfriend like to 2 individuals sharing a house and having sex with no guilt until last year when I decided I was done and when I was supposed to move out lockdown level 5 happened and I felt stuck but we did a whole lot of virtual therapy individually and as couple and we are in a better space today much better space that we planning a wedding to redefine our marriage.
@@margaret9973 I love this - we don't speak enough on how each marriage is defined by the people in it - I suspect because it's easier to blame other people when things go wrong. Good for you guys for being honest enough with each other to realise your initial reasons for getting into it were misguided and actively taking steps to rectify that - wishing you both many happy years together
I'm always caught unaware with the topics covered here. Sis you are doing a good job 🥰🥰🥰
Wow, what a messed up situation. I hope that parents who are listening to this are realizing the effects of the things that they impose on their children. Yes we know they want the best for us, but they're best is not always aligned with reality or what we actually want for ourselves. I hope for the transformation of the parent-child relationship for us so that young women can always feel a sense of support from their parents. The world is already so tough for women.
Stay strong faith. I am sorry for what you went through.
Not judging but sometimes it’s important to follow the teachings and advice that your parents give you so that you can avoid certain things. Certain rules don’t need to be questioned, they are put in place to protect us. They don’t need us to go and test them out to see why our parents said we should stay away from them. I wish she hadn’t gone through everything that she went through because to us it a story to listen to but it was and is her reality. She has to go through it everyday . Sending you lots of love and healing ❤️
May this be a lesson to us as parents. Sometimes we might mean good, but let's also learn to pause and think about the repercussions of our decision making towards our kids lives. Faith I'm sorry for everything that happened between you and your parents, but maybe also just try to put yourself in their shoes. They were really caught between a rock and a hard place. Imagine the pressure of a parent wanting the best for their child, no parent sees bad in their child my dear. At that time they thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. I'm hoping your relationship with your parents can only grow stronger after all that has happened. Make peace with everything dear, it was written from the beginning. May you and your ex husband find peace and also find a way to communicate and have an amicable relationship for the sake of your son, because he needs the both of you. Your son knows you love him, his not on pause, but his growing mentally and physically everyday. He will know the truth, because truth remains the truth. We all go through challenges in life, but it's how we overcome them that makes us who we are. You've done very well so far and God will keep on strengthening you. Relebogile thank you for today's topic, I believe it had a lot of lessons for both parents and kids too. Thank you
Ya but you said NOTHING about parents thinking from HER POINT OF VIEW. You missed the part where she said "they forgive her for HER MISTAKES". When will society expect parents to do better?? They're always being EXCUSED...aren't they the adult's in this situation?? It's a lesson that people have kids not to love and raise them but they have kids because of their "image". Sad.
This channel is indeed interesting and eye opener. Some parent are selfish because of society
I love her so much. However, she can't be a victim of everything. I still sense a lack of ownership especially in the end, her and the lawyer should have known better about parenting not her parents. You can't be rescued from having the feeling of wanting to be with your child, I was not impressed by her shift in responsibility. I understand how she really didn't want this child and her actions then may be interpreted as freeing herself from the situation and the child. Monday to Monday is a hustle but she did not explain what she did to try to make it up to the kid while rightfully chasing her career.
Love and light sis. 💜
Varsity is actually traumatic…
Not only varsity but life in general can be very traumatic
I think the parents are narcissistic including the ex-husband . They all Lack empathy and so much control??….. This is sad shame, she is beautiful she reminds me of Nonhle Thema.
That's what I picked also esp her father in all this he was protecting his image and ego at the expense of her daughter's wellbeing and happiness.
I'm glad u take accountability on giving him custody of ur son. I hope you can fight and win custody of him. A mother's love is everything.
She’s so well spoken, strong and smart young lady who shared her story so beautifully. I hope her relationship with her family, ex husband and son will change for the better 🙏🏿.
Relebogile you are doing an amazing job as always.
i can relate to her story, my son lives with his dad and he controls everything, sad part about me is i dont have parents so he takes advantage of that, baby daddy issues are real
Askies girl 😔💕
I feel this one... I resonate.
Don't let him go to magogo's house vele, after what they did to you ... they can damage him too.
And you can hear that she is healing very well..A beautiful,well spoken lady indeed and you could tell that she is here to inspire and caution young girls and parents
Sis Relebogile had less talking to do,she was to listen more in this interview and she is a good listener,more like a parent listening to her daughter,,,,,
I am watching and learning as a parent. This show is so informative ❤️🥰😍
Relebogile is very good at this. Faith was also such a good sport. What a great interview thanks guys!
Thank u for sharing your story.im so sorry for the neglect and abandonment from your parents but you are a beautiful strong girl
Lesson learned from these episode is as a parents let us listen more to our children
Dis pastor's kid 🤣🤣🤣🤣she bubbly ke ngwana wa Gauteng
Thank you Faith for sharing your story. You so young, beautiful, smart and very strong. I'm glad that you are in therapy and finding healing, wish you the best in life.
You’re so beautiful Faith. I hope you find a genuine love. ❤️
Most of the times I look at other people and wonder how it feels to have a fully present family that partake in their lives but when I hear these stories I'm also grateful that my decisions are my own
Rele we appreciate this show. It teaches us a lot, even about the things we thought we knew.
Her parents are DEFINITELY to blame. She DID NOT want this and now where are they whilst she fights for her son. I wish that I could help and hug her. She is so strong.
i wish some parents would just let their children choose their life partners ,
Fat girl's life comment was a bit impolite. But this was a beautiful story all together.
@Msfriyay's Channel♥️ Kelebogile normally interjects when people express or perpetuate stereotypes. I'm surprised she let her be.
I cringed 😕
I started looking for comments addressing that part 😢
This was such a hectic situation she was in. I hope Faith is doing better now❤️
I'm so inspired by this lady💯... I hope and pray that you get a chance to be the mother you wish to be to your son. Okungapheli kuyahlola so stay strong 💪 all will be owk❤.. May God bless you.
It's the people coming for Faith for me, like they live in her head and know every aspect of her life. There is no way she will function like a mature 27 year old, she was stunted at 21. Healing and growth are not a straight line. It's messy, arduous and painful. Clearly she is in the thick of learning and growing. But some of y'all are quick to throw stones.
Yhooo she definitely unpacked.....
#May you heal completely beautiful faith
🤗
Thank you Rele … we receiving your content so well ❤️❤️
Look forward to this show from day 1, so eye opening. Relebogile you always deliver
I can't believe I laughed the entire time. Her parents are legends 🤣 🤣
We don't laugh at other people's wounds, do not. Life is very unpredictable.
when she spoke about varsity adjustment I got very emotional because i thought i am the only one struggling with that, i wish people could understand academics is 50% of your peoblems in varsity then comes psychological problems, adjusting,etc ...I wish there was pre-varsity counseling....
Thank you for these insightful topics. We’re watching every single video and really learning so much.
Point of Correction, The Institution of marriage based on Religion is toxic and supresses woman, some of us have circular lifestyles and we are enjoying our partnerships, because we please each other and no one else.
🥰🥰 let’s unpack
Smart, beautiful and resilient young woman. Wish her all the best
Shuuu! This girl is bruised man ...only because the parents wanted to look good in the eyes of people. The very same God they usually say we're sinning against or shaming is ever present meaning that at the time when the sin or living in sin in this case happened God was there. Now why conceal the truth from One who knows it all .. people can be hypocrites maan nx!
Sometimes with over bearing parents it's best to shut down, in some situations cause it's doesn't matter how loud you scream - they just don't want to hear your thoughts or respect your decisions.
Dear Faith,
I want through the control phase were my kids were the point of power for my ex hubby.I received the same advise to give it time .Children grow ...he will be by your side in due time...my kids are all with me and totally on my side...we have made amends and growing in love...their father finally accepted co parenting..the same children made it possible as they learned that their father made up stories to torment me a
to keep me vulnerable to him..
Time will heal the child and you...keep loving him..any chance you get...all the best girl...
I can relate...experienced a pastor initiating & putting a girl very close to my heart into a marriage...forced marriage where they made her believe she has to...
I also almost ended up in a similar situation
Jeez... So sorry my sister.
I understand and have experienced this type of manipulation.
Be patient. A lie can go around the world while the truth is still tying is laces. You will pull through. Persist...!
Even in this trying time... Faith is evidently a great mom! She loves her baby... I hope 1 day he understands.
Lets allow our children to choose what they want ,let them grow academically and be independent to be able to look after themselves.Marriage nowadays is not all that,our kids are intelligent they see a lot,we don't need to pressurise them.
What a touching story. Love and light to this young woman ❤️
Beautiful episode. Thank you, such a eye opener. I love her personality
Am so proud of you my darling sis for standing up for your self. As for your son your relationship with him will never die you two have a special bond from the lord . Am so disappointed with your parents for not standing by you during this difficult time in your life. Shame on them. What would they had preferred? You leaving the marriage alive or dead? Keep doing your thing baby girl. By the way you are so beautiful and very eloquent ❤❤
Yoh hectic! I honestly feel like her parents failed her and it's sad that they don't want to acknowledge. Pastor parents needs to understand that they are also human beings with kids who are not perfect & make mistakes. You cannot sacrifice your image at church & the society at the expense of your own children. You rebuke them but embrace them while guiding them in the correct path. I'm so sorry Faith, happy that you are slowly healing & I wish you all the best with your son. He will grow up to know & see the truth❤️
I resonate so much with her story, especially the part about doing what makes YOU happy. Nucleus family I think is very oppressive and suffocating because parents literally incubate you to be what THEY want instead of raising you to be yourself. I have an overbearing mother too and she can't fathom that I have a mind of my own or my own dreams and feels the need to approve anything I do as if she's God of my life.
I really hate people who parent you with "what are people going to think" mentality it really kills one's spirit and confidence in life.
My name also means faith FYI so I'm sending strength and love to Faith regarding her son.
Thank you for sharing your story Sisi, you're very brave and resilient.
❤❤❤