I Was a Lost Pastor and Religious Hypocrite - Michael Durham's Testimony
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- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2020
- I am a sinner saved by grace; a child of the living God; a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ; a man striving to live by the Spirit-that is who I am. That is all you really need to know. God saved me when I was 26 years of age, after pastoring two churches. - Michael Durham
🎧MP3: illbehonest.com/download/test...
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Michael Durham @realtruthmatters
This brief testimony was shared right before Michael's first sermon at our 2020 Men's Retreat. To view the sermon that followed this video, go here: ruclips.net/video/2g6eZv0lG3I/видео.html
Hola! Le podrían poner subtitulo en Español! Me encantaría poder compartir
It took me 16 years of religiosity to realize my need for Christ. I was born again after 4 months of weeping for salvation
Sadly our modern church is more about moral conformity rather than the power of God that renews the heart!
Amen, amen. That encourages me. At 18 I heard an altar call and I went up and said the sinner's prayer. For years I've said the sinner's prayer because I just didn't feel save. I didn't grasp that I have to believe and not rely on me to feel saved. That my feelings are not Lord. It Jesus and believing in him. Even now I struggle with doubt but to hear you and saying it's possible it makes me happy.
I was a hypocrite for over an year before realising it. Even now I doubt my salvation. Can you tell me how I can know if I am just being religious or am actually saved....?
I’m still stuck in selfrighteousness. I don’t know what to do.
@@vanillawarrior I'm saved by the Grace of Almighty God. Jesus Christ died for our sins trust in him and Repent. Believe the Gospel. When you do you will be changed and will love the things God loves and hate the things God hates. It's a privilege to suffer even years of torture in prison and even be tortured to death in the most terrible way. If your not able for this and have not surrender all then don't waste your time. For anyone reading this if you play the hypocrite and claim to be Christian then you make Jesus disgusted with you and will suffer more agony in hell. Better to live as a pagan than a false Christian do not do it you will suffer more agony in hell. Fear the LORD and know his love and Grace. It's a Joy to read his word to share the Gospel to obey his commandments and to suffer in his name. Doubt can creep in and the enemy will try his best to whisper in your ear and manipulate you. Find true Saints and fellowship and in time if your saved you will understand and have assurance of Salvation. Many pastors in America are False Christians and many more church goers are false as well. Tim Conway on ilbehonest on yt has videos on Salvation etc. I don't agree with him on everything but those videos I like. Listen to Paul washers wife's testimony on yt it will help. She was a missionery in Peru for years and was in a warzone and risked much to get the Gospel out but was not even saved. She was saved not long after hearingTim Conways preaching on 1john etc. May God bless you I wish I could type more but limited I'm bedbound alot with spine problems and so thankful it's not worse as I deserve much much worse but the Lord had mercy on me.
God is so patient.
"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering and patient toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance"....2nd Peter chapter 3 nkjv
He is very patient...None of us can be so merciful, patient, and loving as He is.
Please pray for me, that i be completely willing,and not be hypocrite.
God's got you dear. Praying for you.
Spec
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" Philippians 1:6
Jesus will work it out. Give your unwillingness to Jesus. "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1Peter 5:7
Wait on the Lord and in faith, TRUST Him. TRUST Him daily that He is working the unwillingness out of your life. When we get into a human relationship, we know that trusting a person is very important. We trust that they're doing what they say they're doing when they're not in our presence. People show us they can be trusted, and likewise God. Trust grows with a relationship. And likewise, trust grows in our relationship with God. He shows us who He is, and lovingly shows us that we CAN trust Him. For sure.
Ask God to help you trust Him.
Our salvation is not in out own power, but in the power of the Holy Ghost through Jesus Christ. The Lord will help you with EVERYTHING, all of your strengths and weaknesses. The Bible says that the Comforter (Helper), the Holy Ghost will teach us everything, and bring things back to our remembrance. John 14:26
When we give our life to Christ, we become born again by the Son of God, by the power of the Holy Ghost. It is spiritual. We still have flesh and human desires. The flesh and its desires will not vanish overnight. As a baby Christian, drink the milk of the Word of God, pray without ceasing, and praise God often! Play annointed gospel music at home, in your car/walking, and sing along! Believe and dont be afraid. TELL God how you feel ALWAYS! Develop a RELATIONSHIP with God. People focus on abstaining from sin, instead of coming into relationship with God. That is what He wants. Otherwise He would have just discarded us and Jesus would not have come and been born, lived, died, and shed His blood for our sins.
Jesus Christ is the Mediator between God and man, and He died so that we could be spared the wrath of God, and become spiritually clean so that we can be in the presence of God for eternity. He loves us!
I have been saved a long time. There have been many times that I didnt want to read the Bible, give up my own ways, let go of a certain sin. Sometimes I had a hard time letting go of a sin because I didnt want to! But I made it a point to ALWAYS talk to God about EVERYTHING. Every negative feeling, belief, urge, desire. GOD IS AMAZING. He has worked many of these issues out! I am literally amazed at how He took my unwillingness away, made me willing to do what I did not want to do; made me NOT want to do the sinful thing anymore. HE changed things around. I did my part by doing my best to make the right choices when He presented them to me/they were presented to me. Did I always? No, but I asked God to give me the fruit of the Holy Spirit which includes temperance (self-control), humility, goodness, etc. and to help me make the right choices.
Some of the changes didnt happen overnight, but God was faithful. He has done it! Just be honest with God. He knows you inside and out. And make an effort. Agree with God.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." Pray for God's love to fill your heart.
Friend may I suggest it’s not about being completely willing, it’s about being born again. “No one comes to Me unless the Father draws him.” “Draw” could also be translated as “drag”. God DRAGS us to the cross whether we’re willing or not.
@@cornelmyburgh3416 Um, no, God does NOT drag us.
The Bible says, "The LORD has appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn you."
Jeremiah 31:3
AND:
"Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?" Romans 2:4
Will you have Christ to be your all? And have him to make you willing in the day of grace ?
I still struggle with this, but it is true. For a months I saw how much sin was in my "good works" and I was afraid. I struggle with sin, still to this day, not as bad but I still do. I was thinking in my mind of how I had to quit this sin to be right with God. In my mind I heard, "So my Son wasn't enough?" I cried out in my mind, "Your Son is enough, so help me to stop for love. Right after, that it was for the briefest of moments, I never felt so much love in my life. It felt like a bolt of lightning hit me and it was overwhelming. I heard, "Not because you love Me, but because I love you. You are forgiven, not because you say, but because I say.
This sermon and your comment saved me 😢
I was literally thinking, "I'm in too deep, there is no way I can get good with God lest the calamity for my sin happens."
Jesus is enough. I felt the relief instantly. Thank you!
Thank you, Jesus you are enough!
@@birdlover5 Hi birdlove I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
What is worse than darkness if not the false light of self-righteousness? (John 9:41)
Yes...... they are one in the same!
@@clarkkent3730 I define darkness as the lack of belief in something good and the false light as the positive belief in something that is wrong
Atheism is bad; Mormonism is worse
I relate with him when he said "I have a head knowledge but not a heart understanding, it not a reality in my life," I get that so well. At 18 I went up to an alter call said the sinners prayer and waited to "feel" saved. For years I would say the sinners prayer over and over because I was doubtful. I let my feelings be lord, instead of believing in Jesus Christ. I just doubt I can believe in Jesus in my heart, but seeing other struggle in this rut, make me hopeful I can be saved and know Jesus Christ and trust him.
Yes, if today you hear his voice harden not your heart, time is almost up.
Find a way in your heart to e Humble and speak the Truth in prayer. And then ask of Him and you shall recieve. Also abandon all things that would make you a hypocrite, This is very serious. Read the word for your soul hangs in the balance.
Andrea , our faith is not our salvation, Christ is, it is not how well you perform the believing act but how well has Christ so obeyed , lived, and did all things for you. For if I’m Adam we have sinned and are evil, the so as in Christ, what he did , we did, not because we did it, but because he did and acted in our stead. Christ is our righteousness, he bore all thy sins not some but every single sin and this unbelief is our worse sin therefore we have to draw near to him with confidence who died and rose again, “ for while we were yet without strength in due time Christ died for the ungodly . Look away from your faith to him whom your sins have crucified. He will in no wise cast out my friend. For “ he justifies the ungodly” not the godly who believe good enough , but even those who are weak in faith “ I believe help my unbelief “ “ if you will you can make me whole” “ if you can do anything please help us” these are the words of men and woman who had a mustard see faith in the mighty savior. Trust in Christ and his person and work. Flee to him.
@@justinshipp2702 This is so beautiful, wow it really touching reading this. To be honest that been my prayer "I believe help me with my unbelief," I know God is bigger than my doubts. I really like how you said it not on me to work out this feeling of believing enough, it Jesus that is enough. If you would have me in your prayers for my harden unbelieving heart to be soften and believe. Thank you.
@@andreay9935 what has he said my friend? Though you struggle with unbelief which is our worse sin yet he bore them all. He will not cast you away even as you are without the feeling you seek. I also struggle with similar things yet he has been my help again and again. And yet my heart is still so weak and cold in love , yet , he is our righteousness and he loved in our stead that we might be perfect in him
"And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely."
Thank the Lord for your wonderful testimony!! I’m so thankful to hear your honesty. God allowed you to be Born Again as you saw your need for Him! Repentance is the key!!❤
REPENTANCE IS THE KEY TO TRUE SALVATION, WE MUST REPENT OR WE SHALL NEVER BE SAVED.
@@underwaves75 i don't follow men or religion, i study only the Holy kjv bible mostly the doctrine of christ and the Holy Ghost is my teacher, religion and man God isolated me from them. thank you friend.
We all need Jesus. May God help us all to stay in the straight and narrow 🙏
I can empathize with you brother, no excuses, l'm a sinful hypocrite saved by the amazing grace of God through Christ Jesus my personal Lord and Savior, thank you God for your mercy and loving a wretched sinner like me.🙏🙌
AMEN! Meeeee Tooooo! **Just as the black backdrop of the night sky magnifies the brightness of the Stars so does the black backdrop of my sinful self righteous self-willed self-centered Godless Blasphemous Wicked flesh magnify the grace of the Living God Jesus Christ Our Lord in and through us!**
@@underwaves75 "be careful how you hear"....Jesus Christ....Luke 8 nkjv
WOW!! Now THAT is a testimony!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Hallelujah!!!
His grace is the only thing that saves. Until you know that, you're not saved.
Beautiful testimony.
Amen brother'
@@hamelyngdoh8154 you mean "yes, yes, yes" ?
'Yes' to the superlative degree, yes
😇great testimony on being saved by grace of Jesus Christ.
Praise God!
I can't say anything but, all the glory to God!! Praise the Precious Holy Name of Jesus Christ!!, who has mercy on us evil sinners. 🙌🏻💗✝
Amen. Praise the Lord!
Amazing. Praise God.
To God be Glory!!!
Thank you for sharing this testimony.
Our Lord is Love ! He is an awesome God ! 🙏🙏
So true!!! This hit me hard, a reminder that I am a child of God. As you mentioned you wanted to hide, I too had that feeling and ever since then he has shown me over amd over how muvh he loves me.❤
Thank you
Oh my heart, my soul, what is this great love we have in Jesus Christ! Thank you Brother.
Hi Gina I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Hallelujah
Wow 😮 great testimony
I got to the point of being terrified of hell, sought help to make myself better with psychotherapy, got to feeling a really deep sense of God's love (I think?) And wept over His love and kidness and sweetness, then fell into sin repeatedly again, and now all of that is lost. Now I don't have a sense of fear driving me, or a sense of love driving me. I'm just a lazy, apathetic man. I would like your prayers please, so I can be drivin to God and salvation by His grace. I do not want to keep rejecting Him, but I am scared, uncomfortable, and too selfish to surrender to Him
❤ Amen 🙏🏻 😊
Please pray for me. I deliberately rejected Christ for so long, almost a year. I was a professing Christian, and I walked away with the intention to get saved later, and to just enjoy sin for a little while. I was an apostate and now I am scared I might commit the unforgivable sin. I still love sin and I wish I didnt love my sin, I'm not sure if this feeling is sincere or genuine. I've been praying for God to make me hate my sin, but I'm not sure if those prayers are sincere or genuine. Please pray that my desire for salvation becomes genuine and sincere and that I God saves me.
Please hear this recent message that was posted: subsplash.com/illbehonest/media/mi/+58mv9yh
Jesus loves sinners
Actions. They are decieved under law.
How can I even know if I'm saved or not
Read the book of 1 John. Paul Washer has a great sermon to teach on this as well.
im afraid to go to hell,and i was a false believer that i knew listening to paul washer,now i hear the rapture is near, these two news at the same time has troubled me greatly ,my pleasureful lazyness is broken by the fear of rapture and less time, and my sins and hypocrisy are brought to light, im using fear to be my driving force to be saved but i have found that i am unwilling while reading bible and praying i have even started to have some brain problem due to that, i guess due to not being willing and still forcing myself, i could not sleep i am so troubled my spritual hypocrisy was all i had for a clear conscience ,now im troubled , rapture is near and my eternity is on stake. I have loved my sins ,now i have begun to repent, my deceiving heart fights against me,my repentance is not yet real, and i see im not yet even willing, please pray for me, i have watched many sermons lately.
May God continue changing your heart brother such that you always walk in His ways.♥️
Have you ever really understood the gospel?
I hope you dont stuck in charismatic movment or pentecostal, both are not from god
@@MG-hg1sq please pray for me
@@machinehacks6889 I am also in a condition, i am not born again and released it around a month and had the guess before, i didnt wanted to surrender my life to lord jesus christ, so now canceled my dream of getting game Dev and i see, that i am blind, i am weak in faith and i am worried about my condition. Do you have facebook, so we can write ?
Jesus is God in the flesh. We are all sinners, so we deserve the punishment for sin, which is the wrath of God. However, Jesus loves sinners, even though they sinned against Him. Jesus suffered the punishment for sin so that sinners do not have to. He did this by suffering and dying on a cross. He rose again from the dead on the third day.
Any sinner who fully trusts Jesus to save him or her is saved. That sinner has all of his or her sins forgiven. That sinner will never lose his or her salvation. That sinner will not go to hell. That sinner has eternal life.
He was pastor of what?
He was a "pastor" in a church. As far as the state of that church and their discernment, I do not know.
Yeah, make sure you have some feelings or experiences, otherwise you are a painted hypocrite. Típical pietistic theology.
Nice little story. But he needs to be Catholic. Jesus started the Catholic church in 33ad.
Protestant churches are man made and
Pretenders. There is no salvation outside the Catholic church. Everyone needs to be Catholic.
@@johnyang1420 I go in a church, which onyl has the bible as the basic. * Free christian community
@@MG-hg1sqYes...thanks. That can be called nondenominational church. The Catholic church put the New Testament together in 392ad. So, the Catholic church is a bible church also. They put the bible together.
@@johnyang1420 The catholic apocryphal are from humans and not from god.
The other hypocrites? All Protestants. Jesus started Catholic church. Protestants started their own man made churches. Solution? Go back to the church that Jesus started(Catholic). Get your legit questions answered by the Catholic apologists at Catholic Answers.
Veneration.
Why does the Bible teach that Joseph had marital relations with Mary after Jesus was born (Matthew 1:25), while the Catholic church teaches contrary to that?
@@penttimuhli9442 What does Catholic church teach about it?
Jesus started the Catholic church. Lets join it instead of protesting it.
He didn’t