AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
Talk that sis ! I know from personal experience I have cried the while Pacific Ocean and it didn't make him a bit of difference when it's over it's over
Fix yourself. Improve yourself. New hair style, learn how to do your makeup, get your nails done, new style of clothes. How does that song go, I gotta new way of wearing my hair, gotta smile on my face and you didn't put it there (blues song, lol)
It's hard for many women to accept that he doesn't want us because we need to be wanted. If we are not wanted, we don't feel desirable or valuable. Not knowing, that our value doesn't come from being wanted by men, but that our value comes from being made in the image of God and being wanted everyday by him.
I learned that a man will say he wants you, but his actions will say differently. If his words and actions don't line up always listen to his actions. Don't let anyone waste your time.
I had this happen to me last summer. He said he did for a few months, but only took me out on 3 dates and all our communication was texting about menial things. He threw the towel in after he realized he was getting no sex
👋🏾🤙🏾👏🏾Girlfriend You Are So On Point!!!🙄 If Only I could save You Ladies Some Grief! 🤫 Here’s the Best Advice I Ever Got from my Cheating Narcissistic Ex, “Walk Away!” 👋🏾👣Keep It Moving!! & When He realizes What He Lost🤚🏿✌🏾
💯 I’m thankful for a special guy in my life rn at the moment. If a guy doesn’t or isn’t invested in you. U will be extremely confused. 😂 I used to like challenges and wonder why. I realized how important my time is and pull back and kept moving forward. Months afterward , I put myself out there. I met a guy who is transparent through actions and words. We been seeing each other for 4 months and we both taking our time think relationships. Is not forced at all cause we both live in reality instead of fantasy and quick fix.
If he wants you, he will COME and GET YOU. He'll go to all the way Timbuktu to get you. Be the game changer, not the placeholder. Don't prepare a man for another woman.
Give and give until we can't give anymore.Take care of you your mental is worth more if he don't want you it's his loss Sorry your going through this we've all been through this lift your head up wipe your eyes and focus on YOU !!!!
I am going through the same thing. I know he does not truly want me but I just can't completely let go. I am going to watch this video every day if I have to.
I know what you’re feeling but one day things are going to be better. I wasted 10 years doing this and found out I never should have tried to help this lying POS out.
@@Mariam-mh5vi Sis that's the truth! You touched my heart with this comment my Dad was not in my life and that rejection from him, caused me to attract Men who is unavailable and noncommittal.
It’s really frustrating when men don’t walk the walk. It’s 2021 and it’s disgusting. Everyone should be in prospering marriages. Tired of foolishness. I feel you Tony
Not going to lie. Definitely got to love yourself first. You attract the love you are. Every relationship is a reflection/ mirror to yourself. Work out your own inner issues. You’ll see the love you attract will be different. Repeating the same cycle means your not healing and growing. You can’t blame men. Blame yourself, take responsibility. Women are the prize. Men can’t do what they do if woman don’t have standards and know their self worth and value. When you do, a better man steps up to the plate
Honestly the ego takes a hit, but a real strong woman will dust her shoulders off, keep it pushing, drive on with the mission, and level up for herself. No hard feelings and no grudges, all love 💗🌞✨.
Until we as women start loving ourselves, respecting ourselves, put ourselves first, quit competitng and comparing....it will always be the same narrative. 🙁
Ladies listen to Mr. Gaskins. I know it hurts, you second guess yourself and wonder if he is just holding back. Sis, it is what it is. If you were given your dream job, in spite of being unqualified, you'd step up to the plate right? Exactly. Choose men who choose you.
Lol that's how my bf is. Every day before he goes to work he needs kisses, hugs, giggles from me. Then when we get home he needs to hold me for awhile. He loves cuddles
My husband and I have been married for 30 wonderful years. He has always wanted and loved me in every way. People who do not know us admire us. I am blessed to be loved by my husband.
Life becomes so much easier when you operate with the standard that any man who truly wants you will prove it with his actions and you don't have to go out of your way to convince him, prove your value and qualities to him, to explain the ABCs of care, respect and affection or push for an apology, flowers, gifts, time together, because otherwise it doesn't even cross his mind. Real love will give a man the instict to love, protect, pursue, cherish and bring a smile on your face and you won't have to draw a map for him.
I watch this at least once a month . Having this in my subconscious and conscience will eliminate time wasters. They will look at me and see that I’m not about it.
It is not a big deal to be "unwanted" by a man. Especially when you realize there are millions of them that just might be a better fit for you. A person telling you and acting like they don't want you, is a great thing! They are giving you permission to make room for the guy for you.
@@j-tenn226 I'm sure you are waiting, I mean it's not like you have a date to go out on, or a husband to take care of, so I'm sure you have nothing but time.🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can't blame him. I too was like gosh man he eh want you how many times must Tony say so? They're hearing but not listening. I know our minds work differently, but the writing is on the wall and the sound in the air.
@@jessica.7777 sis..I'm not the one doing it and I've run out of towels to throw in. I always ask God to give him the strength every time I feel he's ready to throw in a towel. I think he did but God caught it and sent it back to him. This is a cross to carry.
It’s weird to women but normal to men. We have to really listen/learn how men think & then operate from a knowledge position vs how we feel it should be.
I am blocking this man who constantly calls me but shows no interest in changing his ways or putting my feelings first. I needed this...... Block time 🙏😊💕❤️
My son, who is wise beyond his 15 years, caught me crying about my "situation". He said the same exact thing (without saying he doesn't want me) to me. I was so ashamed but he told me not to be, to let it out and continue being the good person that I was because the man that's for me is out here searching for me too! God was talking through my son to me, telling me to be still and know my worth which was more than I've been giving myself because I've been accepting the breadcrumbs. No more, that stops today! Hate that my son seen me like this but glad he sees what type of man to not be.
God must be talking to me through YOU - I just wrote about no more "crumbs" on my FB page a couple of hours ago!! 💗I'm so done NOT taking anymore crumbs from ANYONE in my life!!!! My Dad tells me all of the time, "Sweetie. .. don't take any wooden nickels from anyone."💗 My grandpa would always say, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." 💗😉, . . . .and they are BOTH correct.😊
Sometimes they're not doing that in some cases its crystal clear they don't want u they can ghost u and some women will continue to reach out in hopes for a different outcome
@@letrice2892 or when a man tells you from the beginning he doesn’t want a relationship before anything happens at that point if the woman still goes with him than get mad when he doesn’t want one than she wasted her own time tbh
Exactly what I needed!! Dude been ghosting me for 2 weeks after he pursued me so hard. I got the I been working tryin to get back on top and seein my kids excuse when I confronted him. I got tired of the inconsistency so he can stay wherever he’s at. 🥴
I thought ghosting was when someone just disappears and you never hear from them ever again? I must be old lol but yeah if he was perusing you very aggressively then I take it he was calling you all the time so much that you didn’t have to call him, he could have backed away because he wanted to see if you liked him back and the fact that he has kids with an s could very well well been keeping him busy for 2 weeks after giving you a lot of his time weeks before that. Now he made plans to go out one or both weekends and y’all did not and he didn’t call you or anything then yeah he’s a flake.
@@ashleycbla that’s the thing I don’t hear from him unless I’m the one to reach out. That’s the last we talked and haven’t physically seen him in a month. No excuse when we live in the same small town. I told him he could be upfront with me and keep it real but he couldn’t even do that.
@@nursebritbrat08 yes, he got to know you and realizes he doesn’t like you enough to turn that interest into an intentional pursuit (continue dating, relationship, etc.). He obviously doesn’t feel he can tell you that.
But the question is when did he say this? I had maybe 2 guys tell me up front before anything that they didn’t want a relationship and I respected them for that and told the one that i do and we should just stop talking and the other guy I went with it because I didn’t want a relationship with him but I was fine with that. Now when this other guy came into my life he lied about wanting a relationship I remembered after 3 months he said he doesn’t know he said he wants one but at the same time he doesn’t so I left him alone than he came back I thinking he changed his mind but nope after 2 months I checked in with him cause I’m like it doesn’t take 5 months to ask a woman to become your girlfriend I mean I was only 18 he was 20/21 I’m like if my friend can sleep with a guy on the first date and he still made her his girlfriend than there’s no excuse so anyways when I asked him he said he doesn’t want one and gave me BS EXCUSES so I cut him off cause I felt like he was lying to me the whole time I felt used and worthless ever since.
@@shutit4024 but both of them told you UPFRONT that they don’t want a relationship though, anything they say afterwards doesn’t matter. Unless their actions later proven otherwise, before a man makes a promise his actions show more and sis I forgot about a man after 1 month so idk how you wait for a man for that much months. A man makes a decision within 2 weeks MAX if you are the one, if he contemplating after months he doesn’t want you. Move on. There’s better man out there.
@@cuixinshi that’s what i just put 🙄 i was happy those 2 guys were upfront and i already knew what was up, I’m talking about another guy who came later on into my life who lied in the beginning then towards the end he was “up front” and after he told me what’s what I blocked him and moved on and he did tried coming back but I wasn’t having it😩 and this guy was somebody I knew 3 years before dating so it wasn’t no stranger well now he’s a stranger 😂
Agree that many man don’t want a wife (for the right reasons). I divorced in my twenties and afterwards got engaged twice. Both ex fiancés ended up discarding me for their side piece. It’s extremely hurtful and frustrating, but now thankful that the Holy Spirit was protecting me. There’s a lot of wonderful, beautiful women that just haven’t met The One. Just keep loving yourself and the Lord lovely 🙏
Some women find your message today “He doesn’t want you” hard to accept but I don’t. It’s the hard truths that help us to wake up & see things so much more clearly & logically. Great video!! 💯
Right! I love to be hit with the hard truth. It helps me to wake up, feel better and keep it moving! If we have to ask..then it's obvious, he doesn't want us. If he did..there would be no question or doubt. Quit asking ladies..love and want ourselves and we will never be disappointed or hurt by a man that doesn't want us.❤️
I live in a very small town. Thankfully I wasn't born here so I know better. But a lot of the women here? They have been taught from birth that it is a disgrace to be single, even if the man is physically, emotionally, financially abusive, cracking their skull open, denying them food, taking that car away from them, making it so that they can't communicate with anybody. In my black ass will just be a disgrace then because I am living my best life and protecting my peace as a single woman!
And this is why they call me player, cold hearted or gold digger!! I definitely move on fast. I don't care what a man wants, I care about what I want. I put myself priority I've been putting this for years my dad taught me to Love myself first put myself first my health happiness peace and wealth. Everything these days is temporary and this is why I don't get attach to no man.
He's just not that into you if: 1. Y'all just aren't on the same page and conversations are like pulling teeth. If he does talk, it's never about y'all and only surface level. 2. He was all about you, but now he always checks his phone for texts and social media while you're together. Phone always on silent and face down or pulled away from your view. 3. Flinches when you touch, pulls away, barely touches you. 4. Takes hours to respond to your texts every time, even though you done seen him always checking it when you're together. 5. His head is on a swivel around other attractive females and may even flirt with them in front of you. 6. Says he's not ready for a relationship. 7. Your gut tells you something is up. You can't put your finger on it, but you have spiritual unrest. He already knows you're not his person but keeps you around for his convenience while you're hurt wondering what went wrong. But You need to see this behavior before you get too invested. If someone takes your presence for granted and treats you less than you deserve, it's because you're not that valuable to them. Don't waste precious time to convince them of your worth. Drop them, pick up your self respect, and go find "YOUR" person, not "A" person.
Okay so I've been talking to this dude I met online. At first we were talking for 3 weeks straight, during that period he would text and call pretty much every day. He stopped talking to me for 2 weeks and then came back, and then we were talking on and off since then. I'm not gonna lie, he would be pretty inconsistent (like he would text for 3 days, then stop for 2 and then repeat the same pattern). I got tired of the inconsistency, but I had trouble blocking him because I liked him. So one day, I told him that we couldn't talk anymore in hopes that he would block me. Which is exactly what he did, he blocked me. Then he unblocked me 5 days later and told me he was in my city (he's from the city I live in but lives out of state currently). So we finally met in person that day and he seemed so excited to see me, he kept hugging me and saying how he didn't want me to leave and he was very protective of me. He tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful inside & out, he thinks I'm sweet & cool, he says he likes me etc. I just don't get it, if he has all these positive things to say about me then why won't he cuff me? I'm 22 and he's 22 as well btw. Also, I never had sex with him (I'm still a virgin) and never gave him money or a place to stay, so he can't be using me for convenience. I just don't get if he thinks I'm all of these great things, why doesn't he make me his girl?
@@melaniebrown1443 I don't know, I don't understand men. Maybe he's not sure he wants a steady relationship with you and is waiting to see if someone better comes along. That would frustrate me because he connects at his convenience. We like a guy then end up lingering in the background feeling exposed waiting for them to pick us and give us security. I've decided to pick myself from now on. To love and value myself will help me see when someone is not treating me likewise. I hope you pick yourself too and realize how much you're worth 💞
@@melaniebrown1443 Honestly love, he sounds like he's not emotionally available and unsure of what he wants. You guys are also really young. Maybe he doesn't think a long distance relationship is practical or realistic. I always go by a person's consistency. If they're inconsistent, I drop them. It will make them want you more, but at that point, you've seen what you needed to see and it's no point in going backwards. In my experience, the best approach is to be direct. Just flat out ask him what he wants, his intentions, and if he's looking for a relationship. Be gentle, but direct. You'd be surprised how much someone tells you about themselves when they feel comfortable with you. Then just listen and BELIEVE them. Unless they give you a reason not to believe them. But really take in what they're saying.. don't try to change them or give them the benefit of the doubt because that person knows themselves better than you. And lastly, I don't know if you all have talked about your v card. I doubt it, but if you have, that could also factor into his uncertainty... having to be your first. That's definitely not who you want. You want someone who is sure about you, values you, and isn't afraid to prove it with their actions. I hope everything works out for you!
Not true. Men ask women all the time, what are we doing? It’s not about not wanting a person. You could be happy not being committed to a relationship because you’re focused on another goal at the moment. We gotta stop equating our own selfish interest with how someone else should feel about us or force them to make time for us. He could want you but not be in a position to be the man you need at the moment.
Be careful with that, Cause sometimes covert narrsassist do the same thing. I was with a guy who showed all the signs of someone who WANTED ME. He MOVED and ACTED like he wanted me. He passed all the test. I waited a year before dating him. (He still ran after me) I waited six months before having sex ( he didn't go anywhere) we had the "serious talk" he was all in. (He had every opportunity to go on about his business) He wanted it. (or so it seems) turns out, it was all a lie. He didn't want me, but LOVED my energy!! I walked away when I saw his mask slip. So ladies just a warning. Be careful. I'm not saying what Tony is saying is false, (because it's not) what I'm saying, is even when they show you all these signs, that does not mean they are sincere. I never knew there were ppl like covert narrsassist in the world. It's scary. Be vigilant.
I've also experienced this before and survived! That's why discernment is very much needed, especially because men like this are out there......wolves dressed in sheep's clothing.....smh!
It has to be marriage before sex.....for the marriage bed is holy & undefiled. And when you get to the Altar & the Holy Spirit says "No" because your peace is disturbed....leave him right there at the Altar! 🙏🏾💜
Right! It is so simple. It’s hard to understand when you’re younger and when everyone tells you there are games to play. But as you get older, you truly understand this lesson. It’s obvious most women are not taught this! Game changer.
Truth hurts, but you’ve helped me to become more aware of how men operate in dating. I cannot thank you enough Tony! I dealt with my ex on and off for 3 years, him leaving me every time I asked for a ring, and coming back whenever he wanted to “give it another shot”, promising me that this time we would buy the house and have a family. We’d break up again and again. I fooled myself by thinking he was going to realize one day that I am his wife, but the only person I was hurting was me. It’s been very painful and tough to move on, but I realized and accepted that he doesn’t want me as a wife, even though I wanted him to be my husband. I have so much trauma to heal from, which has kept me waiting on him to decide to choose me. It’s not easy to accept that it’s not love but trauma bonding. I ask God to help me each day to continue healing and focusing on the things that are important and people that love me. Ladies, we have to let go and move on, or we’ll be waiting for something that will never happen. Accept that they are not for you and value yourself by moving on.
In a similar circumstance right now. It’s so painful to let go & realize that the person u loved, never loved u back. Working on healing so that I never accept this type of treatment again. Love & light to u & everyone going thru this type of pain.
It was initially hard accepting this fact because a part of you feels defeated when you tried to make something work. However, if I know a man doesn’t want me I’m not going to convince him to see my value when there’s another man out there who wouldn’t dare play with it 🤷🏾♀️
Honestly, such a powerful message. Not just that when a man truly wants you, there's zero confusion. But also when Tony said that his wife shouldn't be the only woman who is happily married especially after 14 years of marriage. Tony shouldn't be the only man happily married to his wife. He should be able to meet thousands of happily married couples out there. I also think that women should put their own happiness and building themselves up in every way (mind, body, spirit, finances, forgiveness and being healthy/whole) first. Women need to build up their self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love for themselves ideally BEFORE entertaining any man. If anything, a man should be seen as the "cherry on top" to a life you already built and are happy with. Having a man and being in a relationship is not your happiness, as society likes to dictate. It also shouldn't be a factor in determining your self-worth. I think that could also be a factor as to why women tend to settle for trash men and therefore a trash relationship. Many women think that having "any" relationship (no matter how bad it is) is better than nothing. Once women have that mindset shift, they will be less likely to entertain any man who doesn't want them. Much love Tony! 🙏🏽😃
Beautifully said Thirteen Hales! Adding to your thoughts, if we shift and don't settle for the trash then I believe they will shift and rise to the standard.
Men don’t want you and don’t want anyone else to have you but you’re not what he wants. Confused? Most men today are. Men get away with these things because they can and because too many women let them.’Be alone ladies. You are better off. Settling is not better than being alone and waiting on God.
truth. on the scale of best to worst: 1) happy in a relationship, 2) happy single, 3) lonely single, 4) lonely in a relationship. while pursing #1, we forget #4 is a real possibility with the wrong person or even with the right person but without dealing with our baggage. better #3 than #4, and if we're at #3, we should be focused on getting to #2 first and foremost. if we're at #2, we're less likely to put up with breadcrumbing men.
@chindee This part. I’ve been single since I divorced my ex husband who wanted every woman but me in 2004. I have lost over 100lbs and have learned to love ME again. Guess who wants to small talk with a sistah now??? Uh excuse me but um H!!!! No. Beat it. Now I’m funny acting and boujee 🤷🏽♀️ our kids are FULL grown and gone. I’m single and will stay that way until the good Lord finish working on me and my future husband and he places me where I can be found! HE who finds a wife finds a Good thing!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾
And if he doesn't you will still be okay. Do not be that Apple laying on the ground, desperate and begging to be picked up. Instead, be the Apple high up in the tree where it takes effort to get to. Also protect your peace and know your self-worth and value!
Sooo many women get caught up in forcing “mr wrong” to become “mr right” instead of accepting it for what it is. We tend to drag these situationships and toxic relationships out much farther than it should ever go. That’s when you have to ask yourself why. Why are you settling? Why are you blocking your blessings for what God has in store for you? Why is it so hard to let go of something that causes you so much pain and drama? Once you figure that out and decide to turn a new leaf and never look back and raise your standards….you’re unstoppable sis. If he don’t want you, be ok with it knowing God has something greater in store for you. Someone who does want you and shows you every single day 💕
The Goddess so true the way women mainly settle for men just to be in a relationship with a male that will not give100 percent and you settle and become his doormat because the woman has not tapped into knowing her TRUE WORTH let GOD be your guide knowwww your YRUE WORTH invest in yourself and FLOURISH GREATLY JUST SHARING
Yes very true it's time to stop trying change what's broken, the guy that I was seeing referred to me as a cleaner meaning I'm only here to clean men in every way an he only said it when he was done using me for exactly that and I'm bothered it makes me angry that I allowed the disrespect to myself it really isn't or was about him not wanting me I didn't want me I'm heartbroken because I've invested 20+ years into 2 broken men tryna accept that he didn't want me for me it's hard to accept the truth. I ask myself is it even worth trying again? it makes sense he didn't want me wow! Consequences not listening to the warning signs now I'm numb extremely cautious
@@sazziebrown1234 “is it worth trying again?” ABSOLUTELY!! Especially if your heart desires true love. At least this time, you know exactly what you deserve and won’t settle for. I guarantee that you will automatically get better results as long as you don’t ignore red flags. You can’t always help what you attract but you definitely have control over who you entertain!
It’s just best for most women that are single to just stay that way and devote their life to serving the most high, it’s emotionally, physically, and spiritually safer. Congratulations Tony’s wife she’s far more blessed than most of us.
Umm yea I go being celibate for years no sex no kissing no cuddling. All awhile being an attractive young woman. Just can’t settle so instead just be lonely.
Yes my late husband and my ex- husband who is deceased they chase me down did not stop until they got me and was very in to me period! I now know what it feels like to be chased and loved with no doubt . Since they are gone I have not experienced this type of love. Did not have to compete he came home to me . I ‘m single by choice I have not met no one close to what I want or had. I will not settle. God is fixing him. 🙏♥️
One thing I have learned from Tony, if a man wants you, it's no doubt about it because he makes it clear. And if he doesn't want you there will be doubts. I was trying to determine if this guy that I had been knowing was interested in me. During that time I heard Tony say if a man wants you, you will know. If I had to wonder about it, that was my answer.
I always wanted someone to feel this way about me. I’m 29 years old and have yet to experience this type of love. 😔 29 years old and no one has ever wanted me. God is protecting me from the wrong people and I’m so thankful.
Hahaha!!! A lot has changed since i started listening to you. I have one showing up once every week to say hi once.I had this attitude of saying stuffs and explaining why i hate the way he treats me. First day after listening to you i deleted his number and stopped expecting anything. Today he chatted up ad usual on Whatsapp and i made sure i read and didnt say anything to him. I am worth all the effort,i cannot take that nonsense anymore. Thank you Tony!!
Not true. Some people have never experienced the type of love he is giving and they believe something is wrong with it so they question it. It’s not always black and white.
You are so right ! I remembered this guy I was “dating” for a few months I asked him are you sure you like me? I was asking this cause I felt like he really doesn’t but he answered yes he does and I asked from 1-10( I was expecting a 10 or more lol) and he says 7/10 and it just didn’t sit right with me and even then I knew he was lying ( btw I was 18 he was 20/21) let’s say after maybe 2 more months I cut him off because of other reasons too he was using me the whole time and giving me hope knowing I wanted a relationship and was upfront about it
If there is one lesson I learn from you mentor it is this: When a man wants you he will go to the moon in 1 minute and grab you the best things and come back and when a man does not want you go about your business, as a woman you need to keep going when you feel a man does not want you. Do not force things, do not try to be super woman because that man will never want you and you will suffer if you force yourself. Woman be patient, that man who doesn’t want you is not for you. Stop being desperate, stop begging, stop being sorry , stop competing Look for Jesus , seek Jesus that is where your live and peace will come
"You get what you settle for." Yes! I wish I could travel back 20 years and tell younger me this. 20 yrs, and a very broken heart later, and now I know. You get what you settle for.
I just ended a six month relationship because he was always busy and put so many other things in front of me. Two days after I did it I had regrets, but I have remained strong. I know what being a priority feels like, and this is not it. In the beginning he did pursue me saying that he wanted a relationship, but over time, his actions have not matched up with his words. I was really needing to feel like I had done the right thing, and your video really helped. Thank you and God bless you!
Same exact situation. He heavily pursued me but 2-3 months in he showed me he didn’t want me so I told him I’d free him. It’s no point of holding on to something that’s not mine lol.
Selena, U are absolutely GORGEOUS. Don't understand his logic of not wanting u. I don't believe his Grass will be greener. Sorry to hear. My husband is a creep, too.
In the same boat but there are plenty of real men out there to choose from. At the end of the day you didn’t lose but you win by walking away and being with someone who will treat you better.
I was ghosted for no reason a few days ago by who i thought was the love of my life. We was together for a year. On a scale of 1-10 we was a solid 8/9. A really good relationship, so i thought. We had plans of getting married, having a baby and buying our first house. I watched a lot of great videos almost every day while i was in that relationship to prepare myself to be the best helpmate i could have been. And before meeting him i would specifically watch your videos to help my heal from past trauma & hurt. So now im back 😒 It hurts. And im really heartbroken. But thank you for what you do. It's incredible and i will continue to watch, even through the tears 💔
Woww! Sounds like my situation-after 6 months of being in an exclusive, committed relationship I was ghosted after reaching out to him the day after Valentine’s Day. It’s been almost 2 weeks now no hear from him. He wanted to marry me, always talked about marriage and had me in his phone as “wife” also wanted me to pick a day for us to go apply for the marriage license, wanted to look for a place and we discussed having something small and then later something bigger. He even wanted a baby but I told him we, mainly me, was past the child bearing years. Everything was fine he was even here at my house for the weekend the last of January as he always was. Something happened the first week of Feb. I found out he’d broken his arm and had to have surgery while still dealing with back pain, doctor visits, and procedures from a work injury years ago. It’s just so crazy I don’t understand. Some of his clothes, his weed eater, electric hedge trimmer, a tv he brought me, his Bud light beers and a firestick is still here at my house!
sad but true. I understand this because most believe if the man calls everyday and shows attention he wants you which is not the case. He's just keeping you confused and not making it official.
@@Stormy867 one time is not a fully developed relationship. He's an emotionally unavailable man. You have your answer. He's keeping you. You can be a mistress to a bachelor. I have been. But I was very aware of my mistress status and agreed to it. Eventually these arrangements always come to an end because one or both parties decide to pursue different goals. The women real relationships and children and the men a new conquest or moving for their job or just boredom. Wives do wonder but they tend to keep it quiet until they are at the point of ending the marriage. Theses men use the "busy at work" for wives and mistresses and they just accept it. I've been a wife before and we put up with a lot of shit from our husbands before we decide to leave.
Ladies don’t take it personal when a man shows that he’s no longer interested. Continue to improve YOURSELF ❤️🙏🏾
🎯
That part!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Normalise not being someone’s type
You sound like you have experience in not being wanted by a man
Thank you for this reminder! ❤️❤️❤️
No be yourself, he’s not interested fine
If you're confused about his feelings. HE DON'T WANT YOU.
💯
Exactly!! If He doesn't know...then AWAY YOU GO!! If a man says I Don't Want Any Drama=Player=Drama Guaranteed...
Word!
What if you are an over thinker
Yes. If it feels off, then there is likely something very wrong. Heed your gut. Get out and don’t go back.
When a man wants you, you will NEVER have to guess or question his actions! Go where you’re celebrated; not tolerated!
Teach please 🙏🏽👏🏾
Wow😶
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! TES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
PERIODT!!
Talk that sis ! I know from personal experience I have cried the while Pacific Ocean and it didn't make him a bit of difference when it's over it's over
When he don’t want you become the woman he can’t have once you worked on improving yourself
This!!!!
Fix yourself. Improve yourself. New hair style, learn how to do your makeup, get your nails done, new style of clothes. How does that song go, I gotta new way of wearing my hair, gotta smile on my face and you didn't put it there (blues song, lol)
I did this once ... he was so mad ... didn't even want me around ... but, everything HE HAD closed down and left town, so that solved THAT!
@@margaretwince2748 DO THAT FOR YOU
Amen!!
There is no competition when he's for you. You are first, any other thing is secondary.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Great to see some men in the comment section. Love the support Denzel.
Check ✔ 😁
Denzel.....High 5 up Top ✋
Love it!!!
It's hard for many women to accept that he doesn't want us because we need to be wanted. If we are not wanted, we don't feel desirable or valuable. Not knowing, that our value doesn't come from being wanted by men, but that our value comes from being made in the image of God and being wanted everyday by him.
Amen sis
I use to. Thanks to Tony and RC Blake's and experience. If he doesn't speak it but actions show it, I'm out.
Yessss!!
Amen
Now I know
I learned that a man will say he wants you, but his actions will say differently. If his words and actions don't line up always listen to his actions. Don't let anyone waste your time.
I had this happen to me last summer. He said he did for a few months, but only took me out on 3 dates and all our communication was texting about menial things. He threw the towel in after he realized he was getting no sex
Because he doesn't want to lose the physical intimacy + placeholder until he finds better.
Keep your options open too
He wants me for acouple days and treated me like a stranger the next couple days. Tired of it.
Agreed. And he is talking about a Man, not an immature soul
That "he don't want you" slapped me hard as hell😭😭😂😂
Me too
Me too!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😮
Right😂
Ive had to scream this to myself a few times to keep it real & just move on.
Just a few times right!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Amen.. Sistah!!!
👋🏾🤙🏾👏🏾Girlfriend You Are So On Point!!!🙄 If Only I could save You Ladies Some Grief! 🤫
Here’s the Best Advice I Ever Got from my Cheating Narcissistic Ex,
“Walk Away!” 👋🏾👣Keep It Moving!! & When He realizes What He Lost🤚🏿✌🏾
Maaaan I'm sayin, I'm currently having to tell myself this. Cause I've been avoiding these type of videos, thinking they aren't for me.
This is the TRUTH!!! A man that want you make it plain, their is no one busier than the man who DOESN'T want YOU!!! Facts
FACTS
I love this statement 💜🙏🏾
🙌🙌
💯 I’m thankful for a special guy in my life rn at the moment. If a guy doesn’t or isn’t invested in you. U will be extremely confused. 😂 I used to like challenges and wonder why. I realized how important my time is and pull back and kept moving forward.
Months afterward , I put myself out there. I met a guy who is transparent through actions and words. We been seeing each other for 4 months and we both taking our time think relationships. Is not forced at all cause we both live in reality instead of fantasy and quick fix.
🎯👌🏾
When a man wants you, there is no confusion.👍🏽
If a man wants you he will make u his priority everyday not once every 2 weeks
If he wants you, he will COME and GET YOU. He'll go to all the way Timbuktu to get you. Be the game changer, not the placeholder. Don't prepare a man for another woman.
That would be like fresh breath of air for once!
Well said 👏
Say it..
A word!
A word 🔥🔥 🎯
Crying like a baby watching this bc Tony is right. He doesn’t want me. No matter how much I give and give it’s never enough. 💔
Love urself Sis...sometimes u have to take a break
Give and give until we can't give anymore.Take care of you your mental is worth more if he don't want you it's his loss Sorry your going through this we've all been through this lift your head up wipe your eyes and focus on YOU !!!!
With the right person there will be reciprocity
I am going through the same thing. I know he does not truly want me but I just can't completely let go. I am going to watch this video every day if I have to.
I know what you’re feeling but one day things are going to be better. I wasted 10 years doing this and found out I never should have tried to help this lying POS out.
If he’s consistent you will never have to question it
Bingo...
That’s right 💯💯💯
So true ❤
"When a man want you...you gone feel like running " lol!! Sooo true!
Amen sistah!
@@StaciaLLomax 💜
Lol
😂🤣 that part i fell of my bed
@@zanelemagwaza4983 lol!!!!
And when Tony says taken care of, he’s talking about more than financial, he’ll take care of you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
A lot of woman never felt desired and wanted by their fathers. That’s why they don’t know when a man wants them. They can’t tell.
@@Mariam-mh5vi say it again, I have not seen my dad in over 30 years
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
@@Mariam-mh5vi Sis that's the truth! You touched my heart with this comment my Dad was not in my life and that rejection from him, caused me to attract Men who is unavailable and noncommittal.
Facts!
It’s really frustrating when men don’t walk the walk. It’s 2021 and it’s disgusting. Everyone should be in prospering marriages. Tired of foolishness. I feel you Tony
So true. But they are too many women co-signing to the foolishness. A lot of us are afraid to be single and settling.
@@deliteful1991 This it right here. Too many of us women tolerate the foolishness which allows them to continue their behavior.
Amen
Not going to lie. Definitely got to love yourself first. You attract the love you are. Every relationship is a reflection/ mirror to yourself. Work out your own inner issues. You’ll see the love you attract will be different. Repeating the same cycle means your not healing and growing. You can’t blame men. Blame yourself, take responsibility. Women are the prize. Men can’t do what they do if woman don’t have standards and know their self worth and value. When you do, a better man steps up to the plate
@@Mariam-mh5vi AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! JUNE2021
“You get what you settle for “ meaning you get what you allow.
❕❕❕❕
Honestly the ego takes a hit, but a real strong woman will dust her shoulders off, keep it pushing, drive on with the mission, and level up for herself. No hard feelings and no grudges, all love 💗🌞✨.
True!
Hell some of us have had to dust off 20+ times 🤣
That’s where I Am right now, dusting off my shoulders
Yep and it confuses them because you refuse to not want yourself!
Well said❤
Until we as women start loving ourselves, respecting ourselves, put ourselves first, quit competitng and comparing....it will always be the same narrative. 🙁
Amen 🙏
That part....Amen !!
A lot of them have been hurt trust me when I tell u.
@@tankelvis6255 Absolutely
True!
Ladies listen to Mr. Gaskins. I know it hurts, you second guess yourself and wonder if he is just holding back. Sis, it is what it is. If you were given your dream job, in spite of being unqualified, you'd step up to the plate right? Exactly. Choose men who choose you.
Thanks sis, I like the phrase! "Choose men who choose you!" This video was much needed today. We should stop second guessing ourselves.
@@fabiennepdt4898 yes. Better to wait for someone whose going to love you entirely.
My big sis tell me this all the time. 💜🙏🏾
🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@eugeniaperry4278 awww she's amazing.
i come back and listen to this because i have a habit of being delusional so i just need a constant reminder.
You will know how interested someone is in you by the amount of effort and energy they put into you
And they won’t act beta and try to thirst trap you or expect you to chase. That is elementary.
You better believe it Vanessa
“When a man want you...you finna be tired of that man.” SO TRUE. Even when you don’t want them, that is exactly how you will feel...TIRED.
Can you explain? Like they’ll always wanna be in your face?
Lol that's how my bf is. Every day before he goes to work he needs kisses, hugs, giggles from me. Then when we get home he needs to hold me for awhile. He loves cuddles
@@destinycomillee yes but not in a bad way. They will call each day, want to see you, etc. It's just a man's way of showing that he's into you.
@@viviannguyen3260 nothing wrong with that.
@@attorneyyaidaford yeah it's sweet
“Why does a man...? He doesn’t want you.” TG
😆
Yoooo 😳😂😂😂
😆
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
My husband and I have been married for 30 wonderful years. He has always wanted and loved me in every way. People who do not know us admire us. I am blessed to be loved by my husband.
I Believe that I will experience this too. 🙏🙏💝
But, Tony is talking about other women ….
God bless you! Beautiful story ❤️
Good for you
Love this Amen, same for me☺️
Ladies WE are the prize…act that way. If he doesn’t respect you keep it moving! 💯❤️😊
AMEN!!!!!!!!!💗
And men know what they’re doing!
What a man wants, he does everyday.
Boom
🥺❤️
Everyday, all day, no matter what we say or don't say he is not deterred and not falling back.
Single, and WAITING ON THE MAN; who wants me! While working on myself🥰
👏👏👑👸
Yes u got it. That's the secret. coming from a man it's true
@@tankelvis6255 🙌🙌🙌🙌
me too !! ✨👑🙏🏼
Dont WAIT or SIT. Stand in your Power ladies. They show up the minute when you STOP waiting
= The.Moment You LEAST Expect it
God is not the author of confusion.
Amen!!💗
Yup, that's how we know that God has to be a man. 😂
This… all this 🙌🏽
Amen 🙏🏿
Amen 🙏💫
Pastor Charles Martin of Dallas,TX once said, "when you're the one you don't have to campaign for the position"
Jesus!!!!
What church? I’m going
This is easy for me to understand because I don’t want him either. 😂
Yes Ditto Sis!
Lol
🤣🤣🤣💯
Sis! That's hilarious! 😆 If only they all could be so cut and dry.
Wys!!!
Life becomes so much easier when you operate with the standard that any man who truly wants you will prove it with his actions and you don't have to go out of your way to convince him, prove your value and qualities to him, to explain the ABCs of care, respect and affection or push for an apology, flowers, gifts, time together, because otherwise it doesn't even cross his mind. Real love will give a man the instict to love, protect, pursue, cherish and bring a smile on your face and you won't have to draw a map for him.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
I did a video on this exact topic using big and Carrie from SATC I think is very good breakdown of when he does or does not want you
Love this so accurate
❤️🙏🏾
Absolutely
I watch this at least once a month . Having this in my subconscious and conscience will eliminate time wasters. They will look at me and see that I’m not about it.
It is not a big deal to be "unwanted" by a man. Especially when you realize there are millions of them that just might be a better fit for you. A person telling you and acting like they don't want you, is a great thing! They are giving you permission to make room for the guy for you.
But if fifty of them, men that is, had you and decided not to wife you, the problem just might be you.😂
@@tylarwolf1193 so be it . They don’t want the woman, life goes on… treated it like a laxative take it and release. ✌🏽🤣🤷🏽♀️
@@tylarwolf1193 he big mad in Tony Gaskins comment section. Do more so I can keep laughing please. I’m patiently waiting
@@j-tenn226 I'm sure you are waiting, I mean it's not like you have a date to go out on, or a husband to take care of, so I'm sure you have nothing but time.🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@j-tenn226 Me and Tony is probably giving you the most male attention you've gotten in years.🤣🤣🤣
Y’all got Tony yelling from his bed 😂😭😭. Listen to Tony - “He don’t want you! Gone ‘bout ya business!”
PERIODTT
I can't blame him. I too was like gosh man he eh want you how many times must Tony say so? They're hearing but not listening. I know our minds work differently, but the writing is on the wall and the sound in the air.
@@DD-mg2se Got TG ready to throw in the towel!
@@jessica.7777 sis..I'm not the one doing it and I've run out of towels to throw in. I always ask God to give him the strength every time I feel he's ready to throw in a towel. I think he did but God caught it and sent it back to him. This is a cross to carry.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It’s so weird that men sleep with women they don’t even really like 🤔
That's a pathology
Cause several men have said sex is only sex all you got to have is a heart beat
That’s nuts but true
It’s convenient
It’s weird to women but normal to men. We have to really listen/learn how men think & then operate from a knowledge position vs how we feel it should be.
I am blocking this man who constantly calls me but shows no interest in changing his ways or putting my feelings first. I needed this...... Block time 🙏😊💕❤️
Same but heis my coworker 😮 I hate this
My son, who is wise beyond his 15 years, caught me crying about my "situation". He said the same exact thing (without saying he doesn't want me) to me. I was so ashamed but he told me not to be, to let it out and continue being the good person that I was because the man that's for me is out here searching for me too! God was talking through my son to me, telling me to be still and know my worth which was more than I've been giving myself because I've been accepting the breadcrumbs. No more, that stops today! Hate that my son seen me like this but glad he sees what type of man to not be.
dsev gib.....Praise God; from the mouth of babes! 🙏🏾
Aww, that's how my son is💕 He's now 27. I listen to him but still gotta stay on him & be on his butt.. Lol 😆
Those young men, are such blessings...
My 11 y.o. seen me cry to about his father and he said mommy you don't deserve this. Broke my heart.
God must be talking to me through YOU - I just wrote about no more "crumbs" on my FB page a couple of hours ago!! 💗I'm so done NOT taking anymore crumbs from ANYONE in my life!!!! My Dad tells me all of the time, "Sweetie. .. don't take any wooden nickels from anyone."💗
My grandpa would always say, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." 💗😉,
. . . .and they are BOTH correct.😊
God bless you.💗💗💗
Here is the game: women men want women to “CLING onto FALSE HOPE” .... breadcrumbs... accept the rejection and move on!
Sometimes they're not doing that in some cases its crystal clear they don't want u they can ghost u and some women will continue to reach out in hopes for a different outcome
@@letrice2892 or when a man tells you from the beginning he doesn’t want a relationship before anything happens at that point if the woman still goes with him than get mad when he doesn’t want one than she wasted her own time tbh
Or just play him back. Literally mirror him and so exactly what he does. Stood you up? Yub my turn hahaha he didn’t like it and still came back smh
If my future husband DON'T love me like Tony loves his wife...He ain't the one!
🙏🏾Amen
Facts!!
Period!
Every man doesn’t love the same...I believe it’s all in how they were raised...imo
💯❤️🙏
If he is dysfunctional and doesn’t love himself how could he love any woman?
☝💯💯💯
He can't... It's impossible.
Wowwwww this so much describes the man I just ended a relationship with. Always claiming he love me but didn't even love his damn self.
Amen to that!
Amen 🙏💫
"If you don't know where you two stand... go stand next to somebody else. "
rigggght
I love hearing him speak highly of his wife and how much he loves her. Be blessed!
Exactly what I needed!! Dude been ghosting me for 2 weeks after he pursued me so hard. I got the I been working tryin to get back on top and seein my kids excuse when I confronted him. I got tired of the inconsistency so he can stay wherever he’s at. 🥴
Block and De....lete
I thought ghosting was when someone just disappears and you never hear from them ever again? I must be old lol but yeah if he was perusing you very aggressively then I take it he was calling you all the time so much that you didn’t have to call him, he could have backed away because he wanted to see if you liked him back and the fact that he has kids with an s could very well well been keeping him busy for 2 weeks after giving you a lot of his time weeks before that. Now he made plans to go out one or both weekends and y’all did not and he didn’t call you or anything then yeah he’s a flake.
He might be focusing on that. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Is that something you would do? Can you relate?
@@ashleycbla that’s the thing I don’t hear from him unless I’m the one to reach out. That’s the last we talked and haven’t physically seen him in a month. No excuse when we live in the same small town. I told him he could be upfront with me and keep it real but he couldn’t even do that.
@@nursebritbrat08 yes, he got to know you and realizes he doesn’t like you enough to turn that interest into an intentional pursuit (continue dating, relationship, etc.). He obviously doesn’t feel he can tell you that.
At least he’s honest about not wanting a relationship...some men aren’t honest.
But the question is when did he say this? I had maybe 2 guys tell me up front before anything that they didn’t want a relationship and I respected them for that and told the one that i do and we should just stop talking and the other guy I went with it because I didn’t want a relationship with him but I was fine with that. Now when this other guy came into my life he lied about wanting a relationship I remembered after 3 months he said he doesn’t know he said he wants one but at the same time he doesn’t so I left him alone than he came back I thinking he changed his mind but nope after 2 months I checked in with him cause I’m like it doesn’t take 5 months to ask a woman to become your girlfriend I mean I was only 18 he was 20/21 I’m like if my friend can sleep with a guy on the first date and he still made her his girlfriend than there’s no excuse so anyways when I asked him he said he doesn’t want one and gave me BS EXCUSES so I cut him off cause I felt like he was lying to me the whole time I felt used and worthless ever since.
Sorry about the long rant I guess I’m still angry with myself for not seeing the signs and not being taught anything
@@shutit4024 but both of them told you UPFRONT that they don’t want a relationship though, anything they say afterwards doesn’t matter. Unless their actions later proven otherwise, before a man makes a promise his actions show more and sis I forgot about a man after 1 month so idk how you wait for a man for that much months. A man makes a decision within 2 weeks MAX if you are the one, if he contemplating after months he doesn’t want you. Move on. There’s better man out there.
@@cuixinshi that’s what i just put 🙄 i was happy those 2 guys were upfront and i already knew what was up, I’m talking about another guy who came later on into my life who lied in the beginning then towards the end he was “up front” and after he told me what’s what I blocked him and moved on and he did tried coming back but I wasn’t having it😩 and this guy was somebody I knew 3 years before dating so it wasn’t no stranger well now he’s a stranger 😂
I'm 45 and I'm sad because I just haven't met a man wanting to marry me. Not many men want a wife. Got teared up . Your wife is blessed.
It’s ok! It says noting about you, badly. God has someone SO special for you… don’t give up!❤
@@Kimberlyn308 thank you darling!
Agree that many man don’t want a wife (for the right reasons). I divorced in my twenties and afterwards got engaged twice. Both ex fiancés ended up discarding me for their side piece. It’s extremely hurtful and frustrating, but now thankful that the Holy Spirit was protecting me.
There’s a lot of wonderful, beautiful women that just haven’t met The One. Just keep loving yourself and the Lord lovely 🙏
@@Missybella92227 thank you for being a blessing ❤
Don't worry hun, u are still wife material, men are just stupid
“Tony, why doesn’t he… HE DON’T WANT YOU!” 😂🤣😂🤣😂 I just died of laughter!
I laughed and cried a lil 😂🤣
@@nailsbyking7117 me too!!!! 😂
Yes absolutely hilarious he didn’t even hear complete question. “ He don’t want you” Lol
@@kasiwilliams5927 LOL. Tony is so funny, but he speaks the truth.
@@kasiwilliams5927😂😂😂😂😂
Some women find your message today “He doesn’t want you” hard to accept but I don’t. It’s the hard truths that help us to wake up & see things so much more clearly & logically. Great video!! 💯
Right! I love to be hit with the hard truth. It helps me to wake up, feel better and keep it moving! If we have to ask..then it's obvious, he doesn't want us. If he did..there would be no question or doubt. Quit asking ladies..love and want ourselves and we will never be disappointed or hurt by a man that doesn't want us.❤️
As I like to think, you feel the full force of a slap but a brush on the arm is easily forgettable.
Yes, logically, and feelings don't mix well.
Most of the times if women are truly honest, they don't want that person. They just feel they should be in a relationship.
This is true
I live in a very small town. Thankfully I wasn't born here so I know better. But a lot of the women here? They have been taught from birth that it is a disgrace to be single, even if the man is physically, emotionally, financially abusive, cracking their skull open, denying them food, taking that car away from them, making it so that they can't communicate with anybody. In my black ass will just be a disgrace then because I am living my best life and protecting my peace as a single woman!
💯
So true I’m watching this thinking but I don’t want him 😂
Lol
And this is why they call me player, cold hearted or gold digger!! I definitely move on fast. I don't care what a man wants, I care about what I want. I put myself priority I've been putting this for years my dad taught me to Love myself first put myself first my health happiness peace and wealth. Everything these days is temporary and this is why I don't get attach to no man.
Please 🙄
And that’s the right mindset
I wish I could be like you
Reason you’re single
@@nikkicas260 better stay single than unhappy with 'someone'
He's just not that into you if:
1. Y'all just aren't on the same page and conversations are like pulling teeth. If he does talk, it's never about y'all and only surface level.
2. He was all about you, but now he always checks his phone for texts and social media while you're together. Phone always on silent and face down or pulled away from your view.
3. Flinches when you touch, pulls away, barely touches you.
4. Takes hours to respond to your texts every time, even though you done seen him always checking it when you're together.
5. His head is on a swivel around other attractive females and may even flirt with them in front of you.
6. Says he's not ready for a relationship.
7. Your gut tells you something is up. You can't put your finger on it, but you have spiritual unrest.
He already knows you're not his person but keeps you around for his convenience while you're hurt wondering what went wrong. But You need to see this behavior before you get too invested. If someone takes your presence for granted and treats you less than you deserve, it's because you're not that valuable to them. Don't waste precious time to convince them of your worth. Drop them, pick up your self respect, and go find "YOUR" person, not "A" person.
Okay so I've been talking to this dude I met online. At first we were talking for 3 weeks straight, during that period he would text and call pretty much every day. He stopped talking to me for 2 weeks and then came back, and then we were talking on and off since then. I'm not gonna lie, he would be pretty inconsistent (like he would text for 3 days, then stop for 2 and then repeat the same pattern). I got tired of the inconsistency, but I had trouble blocking him because I liked him. So one day, I told him that we couldn't talk anymore in hopes that he would block me. Which is exactly what he did, he blocked me. Then he unblocked me 5 days later and told me he was in my city (he's from the city I live in but lives out of state currently). So we finally met in person that day and he seemed so excited to see me, he kept hugging me and saying how he didn't want me to leave and he was very protective of me. He tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful inside & out, he thinks I'm sweet & cool, he says he likes me etc. I just don't get it, if he has all these positive things to say about me then why won't he cuff me? I'm 22 and he's 22 as well btw. Also, I never had sex with him (I'm still a virgin) and never gave him money or a place to stay, so he can't be using me for convenience. I just don't get if he thinks I'm all of these great things, why doesn't he make me his girl?
@@melaniebrown1443 I don't know, I don't understand men. Maybe he's not sure he wants a steady relationship with you and is waiting to see if someone better comes along. That would frustrate me because he connects at his convenience. We like a guy then end up lingering in the background feeling exposed waiting for them to pick us and give us security. I've decided to pick myself from now on. To love and value myself will help me see when someone is not treating me likewise. I hope you pick yourself too and realize how much you're worth 💞
@@melaniebrown1443 Honestly love, he sounds like he's not emotionally available and unsure of what he wants. You guys are also really young. Maybe he doesn't think a long distance relationship is practical or realistic. I always go by a person's consistency. If they're inconsistent, I drop them. It will make them want you more, but at that point, you've seen what you needed to see and it's no point in going backwards. In my experience, the best approach is to be direct. Just flat out ask him what he wants, his intentions, and if he's looking for a relationship. Be gentle, but direct. You'd be surprised how much someone tells you about themselves when they feel comfortable with you. Then just listen and BELIEVE them. Unless they give you a reason not to believe them. But really take in what they're saying.. don't try to change them or give them the benefit of the doubt because that person knows themselves better than you. And lastly, I don't know if you all have talked about your v card. I doubt it, but if you have, that could also factor into his uncertainty... having to be your first. That's definitely not who you want. You want someone who is sure about you, values you, and isn't afraid to prove it with their actions. I hope everything works out for you!
@@melaniebrown1443 he don't want you?
Thank you so much! The truth hurts. It it’s healing.❤️
No confusion PERIOD!
This has been a lesson I have learned from Tony. Had to get it, but getting it now. If it is confusing it's not love
Not true. Men ask women all the time, what are we doing? It’s not about not wanting a person. You could be happy not being committed to a relationship because you’re focused on another goal at the moment. We gotta stop equating our own selfish interest with how someone else should feel about us or force them to make time for us. He could want you but not be in a position to be the man you need at the moment.
My brother is the EXACT same way with his wife!!!!! He's been in love with his wife for over 23 years!!!!! He is all about his wife!
@@blueseptember2174 He’s always wanted to be a husband even in childhood. Unfortunately, a lot of boys don’t think that way early on.
Be careful with that, Cause sometimes covert narrsassist do the same thing. I was with a guy who showed all the signs of someone who WANTED ME. He MOVED and ACTED like he wanted me. He passed all the test. I waited a year before dating him. (He still ran after me) I waited six months before having sex ( he didn't go anywhere) we had the "serious talk" he was all in. (He had every opportunity to go on about his business) He wanted it. (or so it seems) turns out, it was all a lie. He didn't want me, but LOVED my energy!! I walked away when I saw his mask slip. So ladies just a warning. Be careful. I'm not saying what Tony is saying is false, (because it's not) what I'm saying, is even when they show you all these signs, that does not mean they are sincere. I never knew there were ppl like covert narrsassist in the world. It's scary. Be vigilant.
I've also experienced this before and survived! That's why discernment is very much needed, especially because men like this are out there......wolves dressed in sheep's clothing.....smh!
Going through a similar situation now.. I have decided to remove myself and my energy
It has to be marriage before sex.....for the marriage bed is holy & undefiled. And when you get to the Altar & the Holy Spirit says "No" because your peace is disturbed....leave him right there at the Altar! 🙏🏾💜
Wow!
Sheesh, I discovered my own mother was a malignant, covert narcissist 3 years ago and I was her target. I fired her.
Tony is tired.....I don't blame you.
😆😆
Cos it could all be so simple
Yep! He wants us to 'get it'! ...and move on
Right! It is so simple. It’s hard to understand when you’re younger and when everyone tells you there are games to play. But as you get older, you truly understand this lesson. It’s obvious most women are not taught this! Game changer.
Truth hurts, but you’ve helped me to become more aware of how men operate in dating. I cannot thank you enough Tony! I dealt with my ex on and off for 3 years, him leaving me every time I asked for a ring, and coming back whenever he wanted to “give it another shot”, promising me that this time we would buy the house and have a family. We’d break up again and again. I fooled myself by thinking he was going to realize one day that I am his wife, but the only person I was hurting was me. It’s been very painful and tough to move on, but I realized and accepted that he doesn’t want me as a wife, even though I wanted him to be my husband. I have so much trauma to heal from, which has kept me waiting on him to decide to choose me. It’s not easy to accept that it’s not love but trauma bonding. I ask God to help me each day to continue healing and focusing on the things that are important and people that love me. Ladies, we have to let go and move on, or we’ll be waiting for something that will never happen. Accept that they are not for you and value yourself by moving on.
Couldn’t agree with you more, in the process of letting someone go right now and it hurts..I praying for strength for you
Amen sis. When you know better you do better. Changing day by day.
In a similar circumstance right now. It’s so painful to let go & realize that the person u loved, never loved u back. Working on healing so that I never accept this type of treatment again. Love & light to u & everyone going thru this type of pain.
Yess
Amen. Thank you
If a man doesn't, love his self, he can't possibly know what he wants.💯
It was initially hard accepting this fact because a part of you feels defeated when you tried to make something work. However, if I know a man doesn’t want me I’m not going to convince him to see my value when there’s another man out there who wouldn’t dare play with it 🤷🏾♀️
Honestly, such a powerful message. Not just that when a man truly wants you, there's zero confusion. But also when Tony said that his wife shouldn't be the only woman who is happily married especially after 14 years of marriage. Tony shouldn't be the only man happily married to his wife. He should be able to meet thousands of happily married couples out there.
I also think that women should put their own happiness and building themselves up in every way (mind, body, spirit, finances, forgiveness and being healthy/whole) first. Women need to build up their self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love for themselves ideally BEFORE entertaining any man.
If anything, a man should be seen as the "cherry on top" to a life you already built and are happy with.
Having a man and being in a relationship is not your happiness, as society likes to dictate. It also shouldn't be a factor in determining your self-worth.
I think that could also be a factor as to why women tend to settle for trash men and therefore a trash relationship. Many women think that having "any" relationship (no matter how bad it is) is better than nothing.
Once women have that mindset shift, they will be less likely to entertain any man who doesn't want them.
Much love Tony! 🙏🏽😃
Word WOW
My grandparents over 50 years but seems like that doesn't exist anymore
Beautifully said Thirteen Hales! Adding to your thoughts, if we shift and don't settle for the trash then I believe they will shift and rise to the standard.
@@happygitana Thank you! 😄 And well said!
Enough said ❤❤❤
Men don’t want you and don’t want anyone else to have you but you’re not what he wants. Confused? Most men today are. Men get away with these things because they can and because too many women let them.’Be alone ladies. You are better off. Settling is not better than being alone and waiting on God.
💯 facts sis! 🙌🏼👏🏼
There’s no confusion. He don’t want you.
truth. on the scale of best to worst: 1) happy in a relationship, 2) happy single, 3) lonely single, 4) lonely in a relationship. while pursing #1, we forget #4 is a real possibility with the wrong person or even with the right person but without dealing with our baggage. better #3 than #4, and if we're at #3, we should be focused on getting to #2 first and foremost. if we're at #2, we're less likely to put up with breadcrumbing men.
@chindee This part. I’ve been single since I divorced my ex husband who wanted every woman but me in 2004. I have lost over 100lbs and have learned to love ME again. Guess who wants to small talk with a sistah now??? Uh excuse me but um H!!!! No. Beat it. Now I’m funny acting and boujee 🤷🏽♀️ our kids are FULL grown and gone. I’m single and will stay that way until the good Lord finish working on me and my future husband and he places me where I can be found! HE who finds a wife finds a Good thing!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾
Not all true…he doesn’t want me and does not care if I find someone else….
This made me cry. Hopefully he will come into my life soon
And if he doesn't you will still be okay. Do not be that Apple laying on the ground, desperate and begging to be picked up. Instead, be the Apple high up in the tree where it takes effort to get to. Also protect your peace and know your self-worth and value!
You have to be ok to attract the right man focus on taking care of yourself and loving your self. Wish you all the best
Been married 13 years and my hubby treats me like a queen and still wants me from head to toe ! Don’t settle !! We still in love 😻
Lucky
Sooo many women get caught up in forcing “mr wrong” to become “mr right” instead of accepting it for what it is. We tend to drag these situationships and toxic relationships out much farther than it should ever go. That’s when you have to ask yourself why. Why are you settling? Why are you blocking your blessings for what God has in store for you? Why is it so hard to let go of something that causes you so much pain and drama? Once you figure that out and decide to turn a new leaf and never look back and raise your standards….you’re unstoppable sis. If he don’t want you, be ok with it knowing God has something greater in store for you. Someone who does want you and shows you every single day 💕
The Goddess so true the way women mainly settle for men just to be in a relationship with a male that will not give100 percent and you settle and become his doormat because the woman has not tapped into knowing her TRUE WORTH let GOD be your guide knowwww your YRUE WORTH invest in yourself and FLOURISH GREATLY JUST SHARING
@@sabrinaalston1243 yesssss! 💕
Yes very true it's time to stop trying change what's broken, the guy that I was seeing referred to me as a cleaner meaning I'm only here to clean men in every way an he only said it when he was done using me for exactly that and I'm bothered it makes me angry that I allowed the disrespect to myself it really isn't or was about him not wanting me I didn't want me I'm heartbroken because I've invested 20+ years into 2 broken men tryna accept that he didn't want me for me it's hard to accept the truth. I ask myself is it even worth trying again? it makes sense he didn't want me wow! Consequences not listening to the warning signs now I'm numb extremely cautious
@@sazziebrown1234 “is it worth trying again?” ABSOLUTELY!! Especially if your heart desires true love. At least this time, you know exactly what you deserve and won’t settle for. I guarantee that you will automatically get better results as long as you don’t ignore red flags. You can’t always help what you attract but you definitely have control over who you entertain!
“Stop settling for the mess!!! The man don’t want you!” Give it to us straight TG!
Ladies!.......HE DIDN'T WANT YOU! PERIOD! We, including myself truly make it harder than it needs to be. Thank you Tony!
Years ago i would have felt some type of way thank the lord for GROWTH
It’s just best for most women that are single to just stay that way and devote their life to serving the most high, it’s emotionally, physically, and spiritually safer. Congratulations Tony’s wife she’s far more blessed than most of us.
Umm yea I go being celibate for years no sex no kissing no cuddling. All awhile being an attractive young woman. Just can’t settle so instead just be lonely.
Amen, Amen & Hallelujah ❣️❣️❣️❣️
Why you say that? You can only speak for yourself sis
@@trapstar_1386 alone not lonely
The insight of a man's mind! Powerful
Yes, ikr
Unravels all the folly
Listen to this on repeat.
☑️☑️☑️☑️
Love how passionate he is about his wife
Yes my late husband and my ex- husband who is deceased they chase me down did not stop until they got me and was very in to me period! I now know what it feels like to be chased and loved with no doubt . Since they are gone I have not experienced this type of love. Did not have to compete he came home to me . I ‘m single by choice I have not met no one close to what I want or had. I will not settle. God is fixing him. 🙏♥️
One thing I have learned from Tony, if a man wants you, it's no doubt about it because he makes it clear. And if he doesn't want you there will be doubts. I was trying to determine if this guy that I had been knowing was interested in me. During that time I heard Tony say if a man wants you, you will know. If I had to wonder about it, that was my answer.
Sadly some people want to be lied to because the truth requires elevation.
damn girl you went deep there love it😂❤️💯
You preached a sermon with a sentence. It’s so true.
You'll never have to negotiate your way into a heart that wants you there.
You make time for things that you want or love. Definitely.
🙌🏽 and we should not want anyone who does not want us. Bye! Canceled! Next
I will be one of those people who are in love after years of marriage. 🙏🏾😊😭 I claim it. Not settling for being treated like crap.
This will forever be in my head !! He don’t want me, if I have to question feelings or anything. !!
I always wanted someone to feel this way about me. I’m 29 years old and have yet to experience this type of love. 😔 29 years old and no one has ever wanted me. God is protecting me from the wrong people and I’m so thankful.
Getting your lover back/ crush/ sp/ spouse/ shouldn't be a problem I got my love back with the help of Mr osekhametalor
Whxtapp me
+1 9-7-2 5 3 4-8 3 9 9
31 and never had anyone like me romantically either.
I’m about to be 27, they say we’re still young but I feel the same way 🥹
“I’m not going to give my wife a bad day.” Wow! I never heard that one before. That speaks volumes ❤️
Yes! I loved that. This is a real man.
Wish I could find someone like that
@@SharlenesJourney me too
The title took me out!! 😂😂😂
Right lol
@@Maggs3 😂😂
Girl I died 😂😂
@@xgs9051 me too 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Hahaha!!! A lot has changed since i started listening to you.
I have one showing up once every week to say hi once.I had this attitude of saying stuffs and explaining why i hate the way he treats me. First day after listening to you i deleted his number and stopped expecting anything. Today he chatted up ad usual on Whatsapp and i made sure i read and didnt say anything to him.
I am worth all the effort,i cannot take that nonsense anymore.
Thank you Tony!!
“U get what u settle for” amen 🙏🏽
When u start asking yourself if he loves or cares for u, he doesn't. When it's real u know in ur gut. No questions.
True!
True words
This.
Not true. Some people have never experienced the type of love he is giving and they believe something is wrong with it so they question it. It’s not always black and white.
You are so right ! I remembered this guy I was “dating” for a few months I asked him are you sure you like me? I was asking this cause I felt like he really doesn’t but he answered yes he does and I asked from 1-10( I was expecting a 10 or more lol) and he says 7/10 and it just didn’t sit right with me and even then I knew he was lying ( btw I was 18 he was 20/21) let’s say after maybe 2 more months I cut him off because of other reasons too he was using me the whole time and giving me hope knowing I wanted a relationship and was upfront about it
“You get what you settle for” - Tony Gaskins 🤯💯💯💯
If there is one lesson I learn from you mentor it is this:
When a man wants you he will go to the moon in 1 minute and grab you the best things and come back and when a man does not want you go about your business, as a woman you need to keep going when you feel a man does not want you. Do not force things, do not try to be super woman because that man will never want you and you will suffer if you force yourself. Woman be patient, that man who doesn’t want you is not for you. Stop being desperate, stop begging, stop being sorry , stop competing
Look for Jesus , seek Jesus that is where your live and peace will come
Amen!
"You get what you settle for." Yes! I wish I could travel back 20 years and tell younger me this. 20 yrs, and a very broken heart later, and now I know. You get what you settle for.
I feel you. You can't get those years back.
“DA MAN DONT WANT YOU, WAKE UP & SMELL THE COFFEE AND GO ON BOUT YA BUSINESS”‼️‼️‼️‼️
Yes Tony a gaan mi gaan 🏃🏾♀️🤣👌🏾
😂😂👌🏾🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
I'm laughing so hard lol as painful as it sounds
😂😂😂😭😭
I just ended a six month relationship because he was always busy and put so many other things in front of me. Two days after I did it I had regrets, but I have remained strong. I know what being a priority feels like, and this is not it. In the beginning he did pursue me saying that he wanted a relationship, but over time, his actions have not matched up with his words. I was really needing to feel like I had done the right thing, and your video really helped. Thank you and God bless you!
Stay strong.
Yes, and I'm upset with myself whenever I've given too much time to before dismissing the foolery.
Same exact situation. He heavily pursued me but 2-3 months in he showed me he didn’t want me so I told him I’d free him. It’s no point of holding on to something that’s not mine lol.
Going thru this right now..
@@tammywilliams9620 Been there and done that, trust me it's going to get better.
I need to accept that he don't want me it hurts especially being pregnant but I am tired of feeling not wanted thanks for posting💙
Selena, U are absolutely GORGEOUS. Don't understand his logic of not wanting u. I don't believe his Grass will be greener. Sorry to hear. My husband is a creep, too.
In the same boat but there are plenty of real men out there to choose from. At the end of the day you didn’t lose but you win by walking away and being with someone who will treat you better.
I was pregnant by my baby father we not together
I've just ended a situationship.......this is so true ! Why am I'm finding the directness so funny 🤣 and refreshing x
Same I was done
@@NakiH90 hope you are ok x
Glad you can laugh about it now. You are free!!
That quote is from Toni Morrison's Beloved. "Love is or it isn't. Thin love ain't no love at all."
😭😂😭 It’s funny when you understand and have accepted it.
Exactly lol
It's also soooo peaceful and relaxing pheew!
@@thelookout5802 Maaan, FEET prop’d and laiddd byke. No pressure 😭
I was ghosted for no reason a few days ago by who i thought was the love of my life. We was together for a year. On a scale of 1-10 we was a solid 8/9. A really good relationship, so i thought. We had plans of getting married, having a baby and buying our first house. I watched a lot of great videos almost every day while i was in that relationship to prepare myself to be the best helpmate i could have been. And before meeting him i would specifically watch your videos to help my heal from past trauma & hurt. So now im back 😒 It hurts. And im really heartbroken. But thank you for what you do. It's incredible and i will continue to watch, even through the tears 💔
Woww! Sounds like my situation-after 6 months of being in an exclusive, committed relationship I was ghosted after reaching out to him the day after Valentine’s Day. It’s been almost 2 weeks now no hear from him. He wanted to marry me, always talked about marriage and had me in his phone as “wife” also wanted me to pick a day for us to go apply for the marriage license, wanted to look for a place and we discussed having something small and then later something bigger. He even wanted a baby but I told him we, mainly me, was past the child bearing years. Everything was fine he was even here at my house for the weekend the last of January as he always was. Something happened the first week of Feb. I found out he’d broken his arm and had to have surgery while still dealing with back pain, doctor visits, and procedures from a work injury years ago. It’s just so crazy I don’t understand. Some of his clothes, his weed eater, electric hedge trimmer, a tv he brought me, his Bud light beers and a firestick is still here at my house!
Wow.. a year?? Are you sure he isn't injured or something? This is very very wrong to do to someone!!💔😔
100% facts Tony. If a man wants a woman he will show it.
Good stuff ! My dad is still in love with my mom after 60 years .
sad but true. I understand this because most believe if the man calls everyday and shows attention he wants you which is not the case. He's just keeping you confused and not making it official.
that's why I have a dating burner phone. turn that nonsense off!! LOL!
So what is it when the man is real busy working, doesn’t call, but make sure you are happy financially and sexually.
@@Stormy867 You are a mistress. A transaction. Nothing more. A kept woman. A spouse/long term life partner talks every day.
@@marleyhill34 that’s what had came in mind too. But he spent the night at my house one time. Wouldn’t she wonder? He is battling divorce tho
@@Stormy867 one time is not a fully developed relationship. He's an emotionally unavailable man. You have your answer. He's keeping you. You can be a mistress to a bachelor. I have been. But I was very aware of my mistress status and agreed to it. Eventually these arrangements always come to an end because one or both parties decide to pursue different goals. The women real relationships and children and the men a new conquest or moving for their job or just boredom. Wives do wonder but they tend to keep it quiet until they are at the point of ending the marriage. Theses men use the "busy at work" for wives and mistresses and they just accept it. I've been a wife before and we put up with a lot of shit from our husbands before we decide to leave.
“Tony why does….HE DON’T WANT YOU”!! 😂😂 Idk why but this was funny to me!! 😂 Thank you Tony!!
I’m just done and over it. It’s too much.