Okay so IMO flashing people, and just existing topless are two VERY different things. I was sitting between my boyfriend and brother once and this woman flashed us and I was PISSED. Now, if I was at a beach (where nudity is allowed) with my bf, I couldn’t care less if people had their titties out. Flashing, (IMO) is a sexual act directed at people usually non-consensually. She seems to be the one sexualizing her own breasts. I am glad that she is proud of her body, but that doesn’t excuse her from acting inappropriately.
You articulated this perfectly. I was trying to figure out why this one irked me when I’m very pro body autonomy. I think she was good up until the dinner party and football game - it’s seems like she is going for shock factor now. She enjoyed the big reactions she got when she first got the boob job but now people are more used to it, so she is doing more shocking things to try and get that same big reaction she was getting right after the surgery.
Imo its both, she does seem to be sexualising herself and then flashing ppl without their consent while she's in a committed relationship. She's making a fool out of herself
That last woman didn't just cross boundaries with the dad and tried to punish him for not acting how she wanted - her specifically asking the child to call her Mama and then treating him coldly after he said no is such a big red flag. The dad and the girlfriend loved each other, but the girlfriend definitely has some mental health issues she needs to work out bc the way she crossed so many boundaries to seek validation and blamed others for not acting how she wanted is so wrong. Also specifically trying to make someone feel guilty for your suicide is incredibly fucked up. Doing that to someone who you know is still recovering from grief like that??? She needs an intervention ASAP.
The boob debate is really interesting! Female breasts should be desexualized, but I also get the point about consent, since they are sexualized right now.
Totally agree. People would stop exclusively sexualizing if they were more used to it (see a lot of Nordic countries with saunas). But as of rn there is more of a time and place issue as mentioned by our hosts. Even if it wasn't an issue we still have places that require a certain amount of dress, even for men
@@Lordforgiveme528 desexualizing does not mean you're not allowed to find them sexy, it just means normalize seeing nude breasts without it necessarily having to be in a sexual context. Just like male chests.
In the last story, when his gf accused him of not loving her, he shouldn't have apologised. I feel like a lot of people think that apologising is a safe communication style, but it's not. Especially with things that other people just have an intuition about, apologising is like confirming that their intuition was correct.
In the bewbie story, I totally agree that we should live in a world where breasts/bodies should all be treated equally. However that’s not reality and not everyone cares about boobs being de-sexualized. In our society (we live in a society) showing body parts covered by a swimsuit to someone who doesn’t consent is wrong and invasive. If she were a man flashing a bunch of ppl then she’d probably be arrested and registered as a sex offender. IMO divorcing over disrespect of boundaries is valid but couples therapy should be considered first in order to address his concerns, her attitude to OP and her insecurities as well.
I do not agree that flashing breasts is the same as flashing genitals, but I do agree that we do have to accept that to some people breasts are sexual in the modern society and when you flash them, you are being sexual to them, because they see them as sexual. So in that instance you are doing something sexual to people who have not consented. I myself do not care about boobs, but I would still question someone who constantly keeps flashing them to people... Edit: Especially to husbands of friends. That part especially is a red flag for the husband AND the friends.
The Korea analogy is bad. The bath house is not unisex and still relatively private. And not all Koreans goes to the bath house. Those who do expect that there will be naked people there and that they also have to remove their clothes. Also, Korea is still a very conservative country. They arrested korean girls for wearing bathing suit while riding motorbike in Seoul. Sj is right. There is a time and place for everything. I don't know why, but Sam's mom texting him back made me cry.. 😭😭😭
1:00:06 For the last story, she needs mental help. The fact that his own family wasn't on his side and made him feel guilty for her suicide attempt is horrible. It isn't his fault that she went that route. She clearly had much more issues than she'd let on. Not only that but she wanted the son to call her mama, and when he said no, she treated the son and Op coldly. She is a big red flag in my opinion. If anyone I was dating chose to change themselves into someone I know that passed away. Especially my partner. I would running for the hills. His family wanting him to marry her and have kids with her already. Is such a big red flag as well. This woman is literally not mentally, okay. She changed herself to look like a passed away person. She needs mental help. She does not need to be married and he shouldn't have to marry her just for his family to be happy. If I was him I would go low contact with my family. And I wouldn't speak to that woman again.
Adding to this, the way the gang brought up how weird it was that she wore the late wife's earrings but OP was able to look past it, makes me think that OP has been around a toxic familial environment where boundaries were either always crossed or never established. Therefore his perception might've been skewed in a way. His family not recognizing the red flags is concerning. The call is coming from inside the house!
As someone who just got a boob job(breast reduction) I understand the feeling of wanting to show everyone my boobs. There’s also a huge mental disconnect that me and many of my friends who’ve had BRs feel that my new boobs aren’t MY boobs. However flashing people is not ok ever cuz people aren’t consenting to it.
i feel like the point of the 2nd story should be more about her flashing people nonconsensually I get telling your friends but just flashing people to flash is weird for anyone
I dont think he's trying to set a boundary on her body, i think he's trying to set a boundary for their relationship. Take kissing for example. My partner is free to kiss whoever they want, given that the other person gives consent. It's their body, not mine, so I can't stop them. However, I agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, so I have the freedom to leave the relationship if you cross that boundary. I get kissing is different, but I'd also be upset if my male partner was stripping infront of others because he seeks validation in the form of sexual desire from people who arent me.
While I think nudity and breasts should be less sexualized and be more casual, flashing is just an act that’s sexual in general. It uses the idea of hiding something then suddenly revealing something and it’s used to be shocking and sexual (doesn’t have to be just breasts in this scenario too).
Yessss like butts. If someone had a BBL and randomly shows a group or started twerking at a party I’d be very uncomfy. But if we’re talking beach or other places where they would usually be visible it’s normal and everyone has them. I think it’s be in one scenario I wasn’t expecting that so there’s that which and in another and I’m already cognitively promised to see it. Not about being necessarily sexual just out of respect for everyone
The depression that overcomes me when i think of my parents aging is so real. I thought about it before, but now that i have a kid its like 50x worse 😂 in my head i think “the older my child gets the less time my parents have” 😭
In the flashing story, I want to know what boundary the husband thinks he set. Boundaries are for our behavior, we can't set boundaries on other people's actions. You can set a boundary for yourself in response to another person's actions for example: If you show your boobs at a party, I'll leave immediately.
Yes I agree. He's talking like he owns her. They're her breasts to show off if she wants to. If he's uncomfortable with that he can express that and state hiss expectations but unless you're going to physically stop her it's her choice to behave that way. If she continues after he's stated that then he can decide if he's willing to live with that or not.
@@elenaoakes8494sorry, but why would you randomly show your breasts to people at random? What if someone just doesn't want to see that for whatever their reason is? She can wear what she wants, but I think most people would just look at you like you're crazy if a pair of breasts were just out there for no reason.
i think he is just misusing the word. sounds like for him her flashing everyone is a form of cheating & i do think he has a right to voice that. "i don't want to be with someone unfaithful" is a very normal stance for people to have & everyone has to define what behaviour falls under that for themselves. i absolutely think he is allowed to voice how uncomfortable & upset her new behaviour is making him feel & say it is a hard line for him. she is absolutely allowed to refuse & do whatever she wants. but if he decides to walk away from her due to that, then she has to accept that (similarly if he decides to stay, he has to come to accept her new behaviour).
@@elenaoakes8494completely disagree because then that logic can apply to “if he wants to flash people his penis he can, it’s his body” and many other things that are not appropriate. You can’t just do things because “its your body” and when you have a partner you have to respect that there’s things they won’t like you doing. If you used to lay on your male friend’s shoulder in a non-sexual way before and now you have a bf and he doesn’t feel comfortable with it, that’s a reasonable boundary.
With the flashing story, on top of the lack of consent from people being flashed, you also have to consider that he married her as someone who was more conservative/modest. Now that she's becoming more liberal with showing off her body, it could be a turn-off.
Last story Ops family sucks. They probably think he can't be a good parent As a man alone and so they are throwing this new woman at him. It's honestly sexism. " Oh your son needs a new Mom. " Meanwhile the son is like, "No I already had a Mom."
my mom passed away in 2021 october , my 3 kids were there with me and it was unexpected she passed in her room and we didn't know until my son (8-9 at the time ) told me nana don't look ok ... so i rushed even tho i was 30 weeks pregnant .. tried my best but sadly it was to late :( i miss her so much and i wish she could have met my son ( he was born premature at 35 weeks) it's been a rough 4 years of constant death in my life and trauma but we are healing slowly
The one with the 4 year old. As a mom myself, sometimes you’re just gonna make mistakes and they’re literally learning-life. NTA the baby will be okay. Love the podcast btw
I'm 61. I'm afraid my parents aren't callable. I do still have an aunt. As to the dead wife. My husband and I are remarried widows. We've been together 6.5 years, I'm only now starting to feel like I can borrow Christine's belongings. I haven't redecorated her kitchen or the bedroom because I don't want to trespass. I don't understand how people can be so calous about their partner's late partners. I also don't understand why they get so jealous about them.
Story 2: The guy isn't the AH but he does need to learn the definition of a boundary. You can set your boundaries for yourself not for the actions or behavior of someone else.
Every relationship has boundaries. Not flirting with other men is a given. Dropping her shirt in front of other men to show off is flirting. If she had been a man Flashing a dick or butt it would be considered sexual harassment to everyone.
honestly yeah i have a coworker who got a boob job and the first 16 times she showed me her tits i was like “wow they look amazing!!!!” and now i have to tell her i don’t wanna see boobs today. it’s weird
The husband has a right to preference. She has the right to show her boobs but he has the right to leave someone who’s willing to show off parts of herself that were meant for him. He got in a relationship with someone who was modest.
0:33 So your feet have to stay dry, but also, too tight fitting shoes will cause your feet to sweat(some people like me, develop sweaty feet naturally or through stressors) Ever since I caught C19, my hands and feet sweat profusely, so I found spraying the soles of my feet and in between my toes with antiperspirant spray to really help cut down on the moisture, smell, and the coldness of my entire body!! Crocs material just worsen your feet sweating, and then you loose heat super quickly, in the heat it isn't that noticable bexause it is kind of wicked(weird how that words meaning is could be sucked away, or really evil) away.
i think the most the husband can do in the flashing story is say it makes him uncomfortable, they can talk through why and he can hear her out as well (but like genuinely hearing each other out), but he cant set a boundary on what she does with her body. just as she wouldnt be able to do the same to him.
I think it's reasonable to not show other men and a group of men your breasts when you have a husband. She is literally trying to get attention from other men when she has a husband. How is that any different then flirting with other men? Not to mention she violated everyone's consent in that room. The husband is perfectly in his right to be upset and even want to leave her when she can't keep her clothes on anymore.
@@kellharris2491 oh well yea i think he has every right to leave her i just dont think he has any right to tell her what to do with her body. if shes the kind of person that likes to show her breasts and hes the kind of person that doesnt want her to do that then they have ideological differences and yea probably shouldnt be together anymore. but i didnt wanna go to outright “leave her” bc maybe they can solve those differences through talking about it and actually hearing each other out.
@@kellharris2491 and i think with the how is it different from flirting? i think theres couples who have no problem with their partner flirting with other ppl and they share ideologies so it works and then there are people who would hate their partner flirting with other ppl and i think thats fine too. i think its less a one size fits all and more about finding someone who shares your ideology about life.
@@mkamara7279but would someone be in the wrong for being like I don't want you to flirt with other ppl while we're dating? Like I think that IS a boundary and if it's not one you can accept then we just break up
The irony of you walking around snowy CO in Crocs is unmatched. For anyone else curious; Crocs were actually invented in Boulder, and the HQ is in Niwot. I worked in their call center office in Broomfield! They do sell clogs with different linings that are quiet warm, many older customers told me how they love them in the winter LMAO. I hope y'all enjoyed your visit though! I can't help but spit out Croc facts whenever they are mentioned.
I lost my mom suddenly to cancer 9 years ago. Text your mom ❤️ Also, if you have messages that are important to you or conversations with any loved ones, you enjoy, take screenshots. I have little snippets preserved in time that I treasure. It was one of the best ideas that someone gave me after she passed.
My brother and his wife used to get into barfights together all the time when they were younger. The wildest story I heard was when bro squared up to this dude who was being an ass, and the dude and his friends dragged him outside. Sister-in-law was like "oh hell no, that isn't fair" and tried to make her way out when dudes girlfriend was all "where the f*ck do you think you're going" and tried to fight her. Sister-in-law threw a few good punches, got hit once, and knocked the gf out the way. I'm a letting foggy on the details from here because it's been a while since I've heard the story, but I know at one point, sis was on one of the dudes back ripping at his hair, he managed to throw her off and turned around to punch her, and she smashed her boot right into his nose and broke it. Brother also held his own pretty well. They went back to that bar a few minth later and someone behind the bar asked Sister-in-law if she was the one that fought the guy (let's just say his name was John). She said yes, and the guy started laughing and telling her that she "f*cked him up" and he had it coming because he's always running his mouth and acting like a big dog. He said that now, whenever he starts going off, the staff or even one of his friends will remind him how he got his ass beat by a 5'4" woman, so he had best just sit down and shut up.
47:28 I'm so broken that this parent talk means nothing to me. My bio mom could have already died and is have no idea because I haven't seen her in like 5 years and she never wanted a relationship with us. My dad raised me and my twin sister and I love and respect him but listening to people with healthy parental attachments reminds me that I still have a lot of issues because I don't think about these kinds of things at all.
So glad i found this podcast, I've binged so many old episodes and I can't wait for the new videos! Millennial mom with a Gen Alpha toddler. God help me...😂
1st story the husband isn’t the asshole and I think the wife is pushing boundaries doing that like there a difference of time and place for either man or woman like just randomly flashing people and I felt like she sexualizing herself
The boob lady is in the wrong imo because yea free the nipple but as has been said tgere is a time and place to do stuff like this. It is dependent on the context. The dead wife story is sad. The gf needs psychological help. Not only because of the atempt but also because if the other stuff.
me sitting here 2-3 years into not seeing my mom and hardly talking to her besides birthdays and holidays, cause pookie gave me a cool heap of trauma, and i cant bring myself to talk to her frfr knowing how she is.
17:10 what's with the body shaming... like.??? there's nothing wrong with A cups bro.. that's not fair to make fun of people with small chests, we can't help it..
Dang, that one story started with the poor kid in an existential crisis, and ended leaving everyone in an existential crisis. 😭 . Woah, that girlfriend story was...wow. I thought that was a made up plot from tv shows/books. Hopefully that lady gets mental help, and I hope bro can heal too.
so im currently 18 and i just got to 47:17 and i am crying thinking about all the time ive missed with my dad. he's not dead just lives on the other side of the country.
Catching up on all your podcasts, as someone who lost their father unexpectedly last year CALLL YOUR PARENTS TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM. My dad was only 62 I've just turned 32 which hit me realizing if I die at the same age as him I'm already over half way:(
Thinking about anyone passing makes me want to explode but with my animals it’s like a whole different feeling. Also I have had a strained relationship with my mom for a long time but within the last year or so we’ve really made strides to mend our relationship. One thing that made me want to mend it is the fact that she’s getting older and I don’t want any regrets.
When you guys were talking about gaining subs through big brother, i was like oh surely they have a million subs now. Checked, only 52k... But hey, theres also 52k views ❤ I just know you guys will have twice the amount before the end of winter (summer for you guys?) in August
that last story has got me thinking that maybe its not just the gf taking it upon herself to become his late wifes doppleganger- since his family is not on his side and wants him to make it up to gf and get married so that his son can have a mother; im thinking that maybe the family has also put in some mentions or words to gf that would imply that he wont love her like he loved his late wife. besides the fact that she took it upon herself to give op AND the son the cold shoulder because the son didnt want to call her mama, it seems that op is being the last to find out things on PURPOSE, and theres no going up from here unless gf gets some serious help and op can find out just why this is happening.
Thinking about losing your parents hit different. I co-own a company with my dad and my mom picks up my daughter from school so I see both my parents every day. But when I get a random call from them on a weekend or at night when we’re all at our own houses, my heart drops a little before I answer the phone bc I’m always scared it’s bad news about the other parent or sm. They’re only 55 & 60 so it always makes me sad to know that it was a thought that crossed my mind.
Tell your people you love them often! I'm in my 30s and no longer have my mom and wish I was able to talk to her more. Couldn't have a proper conversation for 10 years because of Alzheimer's. I wish I at least texted her more. Share love and spread glimmers to brighten the darkness ❤❤❤
About the flashing: I fully agree that boobs should be desexualized BUT that’s not the problem here. Like they said, time and place. I feel like the male equivalent to this would be if some guy randomly lifted his shirt in the middle of dinner with other couples to show off his abs. There are dudes who do that for sure, doesn’t mean it’s not inappropriate and making everyone around uncomfortable.
I do feel bad for the four-year-old having the horrible realization of death. That is a bit young to have it. I remember reading in one of my dad's science magazines when I was a kid that the sun will grow and kill us all in millions of years, which seriously freaked me out, but then I realized we're all going to be dead by then anyway, and that freaked me out even more. I feel like I was maybe 8 or 9. And a few years ago I visited my grandparents' graves with my sister and her daughter. And I think that was her first exposure to death because she was asking a lot of questions that we answered gently, but honestly. For the 4-year-old, there really isn't anything you can say to comfort him in that horrible realization. It's just a fact of life that we don't know how long we're going to live. We don't know how long the people around us are going to live, and that impermanence can be really frightening. But life goes on.
This is a month old, my mom died on 1/5/24, her bday was 2/2 she was 58 and it was so unexpected . 2/29/24 i had a major surgery and i cried so hard because i thought she was gonna be there. i wish i could have texted her again. please treasure ur time. my cousin said they have lived part of their lives without us but we havent lived our lives without them. my advice write a letter to ur kids and see if they write one back both of yall cherish it. after my shoulder heals im getting a tattoo of her words from a letter of hers hopefully copying the handwriting as close as possible
With the death story, that mom is better than mine 😅 I was talking to my mom about how I can’t imagine the rest of life without someone we lost and her response was “Well I’m gonna die, your dad is gonna die, your older siblings, you’ll just have to go on” 😭 I ended up crying more than before I called her 😂
As someone who comes from a dysfunctional family it is so crazy to hear how you guys are actually sad about your moms eventually dying and leaving yall because I cannot fathom how that feels. It is nice to hear that yall love them and get that love from them too
That last story was very much like the thriller movie: "Single White Female." Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda. Awesome flick that withstands the test of time.
The last story I feel so bad for the guy but he needs to stay far away from Kayla she wrote the disgusting note and did this for attention she thinks he’ll come back. Like they said it’s the cliche “I’ll kill myself if you leave me”. The only thing in her note she put was about him keep that nut away far away
Thank you guys for being so open about how thinking about death (of ur self and family) makes you feel. I’ve been struggling with getting smacked w existential crisis every other day and it felt good to hear someone else talk about it bc wtffff some ppl act like they can go all their life without thinking about the shit
I lost my mom recently, way too young. You never know how much time you have left. please please please tell the people who are important to you in your life that you love them as much as you can 💙💙💙
I don't have a kid. But I suspect a lot of PPD can come from seeing the most beautiful being you've created & immediately knowing it's going to die one day. & You can't do nothin about it.
![Tee Grizzley - Blow for Blow (feat. J. Cole) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wNLN5xsx5dc/mqdefault.jpg)
Okay so IMO flashing people, and just existing topless are two VERY different things. I was sitting between my boyfriend and brother once and this woman flashed us and I was PISSED. Now, if I was at a beach (where nudity is allowed) with my bf, I couldn’t care less if people had their titties out. Flashing, (IMO) is a sexual act directed at people usually non-consensually. She seems to be the one sexualizing her own breasts. I am glad that she is proud of her body, but that doesn’t excuse her from acting inappropriately.
This. I agree with this so hard
i 100% agree with this!
💯
You articulated this perfectly. I was trying to figure out why this one irked me when I’m very pro body autonomy. I think she was good up until the dinner party and football game - it’s seems like she is going for shock factor now. She enjoyed the big reactions she got when she first got the boob job but now people are more used to it, so she is doing more shocking things to try and get that same big reaction she was getting right after the surgery.
@@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse woah, you actually analyzed her motives so well!! this makes a lot of sense.
Story 2: it’s not about the flashing it’s the disrespect the wife is showing and unwilling to listen to differing opinions
Imo its both, she does seem to be sexualising herself and then flashing ppl without their consent while she's in a committed relationship. She's making a fool out of herself
Also, were any of those people consenting?
But do you need to consent to see a guy shirtless in public?
If they don't want that at there dinner party it's fine though.
His wife flashing everyone is embarrassing. It starts to be like she’s not for me energy.
It's honestly kinda pathetic. Like look at me!.
@kellharris2491 yes is like she had nothing else to offer but her fake boobs now
The "whose my father?" While Brandon calms Sam down cracks me up every time
every. time!!! lmaooo
Does Sam know the "Where's My Dad?" song from Tiktok? From the Finding Nemo musical? Because that would be MONEY to add on top of the "whose my dad!?"
Pure gold when they do that 😂💯
NO BUT FR 😭😭🙂
Same, I want a compilation of it
That last woman didn't just cross boundaries with the dad and tried to punish him for not acting how she wanted - her specifically asking the child to call her Mama and then treating him coldly after he said no is such a big red flag.
The dad and the girlfriend loved each other, but the girlfriend definitely has some mental health issues she needs to work out bc the way she crossed so many boundaries to seek validation and blamed others for not acting how she wanted is so wrong.
Also specifically trying to make someone feel guilty for your suicide is incredibly fucked up. Doing that to someone who you know is still recovering from grief like that??? She needs an intervention ASAP.
Tbh, sounds like BPD and extremely insecure attachment
The boob debate is really interesting! Female breasts should be desexualized, but I also get the point about consent, since they are sexualized right now.
Why ? How?
Totally agree. People would stop exclusively sexualizing if they were more used to it (see a lot of Nordic countries with saunas). But as of rn there is more of a time and place issue as mentioned by our hosts. Even if it wasn't an issue we still have places that require a certain amount of dress, even for men
So you can't show your feet or armpits?
@@Lordforgiveme528 desexualizing does not mean you're not allowed to find them sexy, it just means normalize seeing nude breasts without it necessarily having to be in a sexual context. Just like male chests.
@@luvely1062 those are not on the level of tits right now.
In the last story, when his gf accused him of not loving her, he shouldn't have apologised. I feel like a lot of people think that apologising is a safe communication style, but it's not. Especially with things that other people just have an intuition about, apologising is like confirming that their intuition was correct.
I think she sounded really manipulative.
In the bewbie story, I totally agree that we should live in a world where breasts/bodies should all be treated equally. However that’s not reality and not everyone cares about boobs being de-sexualized. In our society (we live in a society) showing body parts covered by a swimsuit to someone who doesn’t consent is wrong and invasive. If she were a man flashing a bunch of ppl then she’d probably be arrested and registered as a sex offender. IMO divorcing over disrespect of boundaries is valid but couples therapy should be considered first in order to address his concerns, her attitude to OP and her insecurities as well.
I do not agree that flashing breasts is the same as flashing genitals, but I do agree that we do have to accept that to some people breasts are sexual in the modern society and when you flash them, you are being sexual to them, because they see them as sexual. So in that instance you are doing something sexual to people who have not consented. I myself do not care about boobs, but I would still question someone who constantly keeps flashing them to people... Edit: Especially to husbands of friends. That part especially is a red flag for the husband AND the friends.
The Korea analogy is bad. The bath house is not unisex and still relatively private. And not all Koreans goes to the bath house. Those who do expect that there will be naked people there and that they also have to remove their clothes. Also, Korea is still a very conservative country. They arrested korean girls for wearing bathing suit while riding motorbike in Seoul. Sj is right. There is a time and place for everything.
I don't know why, but Sam's mom texting him back made me cry.. 😭😭😭
“Community chest” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
1:00:06 For the last story, she needs mental help. The fact that his own family wasn't on his side and made him feel guilty for her suicide attempt is horrible. It isn't his fault that she went that route. She clearly had much more issues than she'd let on.
Not only that but she wanted the son to call her mama, and when he said no, she treated the son and Op coldly. She is a big red flag in my opinion. If anyone I was dating chose to change themselves into someone I know that passed away. Especially my partner. I would running for the hills.
His family wanting him to marry her and have kids with her already. Is such a big red flag as well. This woman is literally not mentally, okay. She changed herself to look like a passed away person. She needs mental help. She does not need to be married and he shouldn't have to marry her just for his family to be happy. If I was him I would go low contact with my family. And I wouldn't speak to that woman again.
Adding to this, the way the gang brought up how weird it was that she wore the late wife's earrings but OP was able to look past it, makes me think that OP has been around a toxic familial environment where boundaries were either always crossed or never established.
Therefore his perception might've been skewed in a way. His family not recognizing the red flags is concerning.
The call is coming from inside the house!
As someone who just got a boob job(breast reduction) I understand the feeling of wanting to show everyone my boobs. There’s also a huge mental disconnect that me and many of my friends who’ve had BRs feel that my new boobs aren’t MY boobs. However flashing people is not ok ever cuz people aren’t consenting to it.
i feel like the point of the 2nd story should be more about her flashing people nonconsensually I get telling your friends but just flashing people to flash is weird for anyone
I dont think he's trying to set a boundary on her body, i think he's trying to set a boundary for their relationship. Take kissing for example. My partner is free to kiss whoever they want, given that the other person gives consent. It's their body, not mine, so I can't stop them. However, I agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, so I have the freedom to leave the relationship if you cross that boundary.
I get kissing is different, but I'd also be upset if my male partner was stripping infront of others because he seeks validation in the form of sexual desire from people who arent me.
While I think nudity and breasts should be less sexualized and be more casual, flashing is just an act that’s sexual in general. It uses the idea of hiding something then suddenly revealing something and it’s used to be shocking and sexual (doesn’t have to be just breasts in this scenario too).
Yessss like butts. If someone had a BBL and randomly shows a group or started twerking at a party I’d be very uncomfy. But if we’re talking beach or other places where they would usually be visible it’s normal and everyone has them. I think it’s be in one scenario I wasn’t expecting that so there’s that which and in another and I’m already cognitively promised to see it. Not about being necessarily sexual just out of respect for everyone
The depression that overcomes me when i think of my parents aging is so real. I thought about it before, but now that i have a kid its like 50x worse 😂 in my head i think “the older my child gets the less time my parents have” 😭
Not you guys forgetting Gen X 😂😭 I’ve been getting so many TikToks of them complaining they’re forgotten all the time
Things I learned: if I ever get a breast augmentation - make sure the surgeon doesn’t leave me with NASCAR titties😂
I'm a younger millennial and thought you all were also. I don't know why it shook me so bad hearing you are gen Z, haha.
Sam is a Millennial. I have no idea how old the others are lol
Same!
Best discovery of my 2023, much love to you all
In the flashing story, I want to know what boundary the husband thinks he set. Boundaries are for our behavior, we can't set boundaries on other people's actions. You can set a boundary for yourself in response to another person's actions for example: If you show your boobs at a party, I'll leave immediately.
Yes I agree. He's talking like he owns her. They're her breasts to show off if she wants to. If he's uncomfortable with that he can express that and state hiss expectations but unless you're going to physically stop her it's her choice to behave that way. If she continues after he's stated that then he can decide if he's willing to live with that or not.
No I agree showing off your breasts to people is rude. Also I think being upset that she is flashing other men is disrespectful to her husband.
@@elenaoakes8494sorry, but why would you randomly show your breasts to people at random? What if someone just doesn't want to see that for whatever their reason is? She can wear what she wants, but I think most people would just look at you like you're crazy if a pair of breasts were just out there for no reason.
i think he is just misusing the word. sounds like for him her flashing everyone is a form of cheating & i do think he has a right to voice that. "i don't want to be with someone unfaithful" is a very normal stance for people to have & everyone has to define what behaviour falls under that for themselves.
i absolutely think he is allowed to voice how uncomfortable & upset her new behaviour is making him feel & say it is a hard line for him. she is absolutely allowed to refuse & do whatever she wants. but if he decides to walk away from her due to that, then she has to accept that (similarly if he decides to stay, he has to come to accept her new behaviour).
@@elenaoakes8494completely disagree because then that logic can apply to “if he wants to flash people his penis he can, it’s his body” and many other things that are not appropriate. You can’t just do things because “its your body” and when you have a partner you have to respect that there’s things they won’t like you doing. If you used to lay on your male friend’s shoulder in a non-sexual way before and now you have a bf and he doesn’t feel comfortable with it, that’s a reasonable boundary.
With the flashing story, on top of the lack of consent from people being flashed, you also have to consider that he married her as someone who was more conservative/modest. Now that she's becoming more liberal with showing off her body, it could be a turn-off.
Last story Ops family sucks. They probably think he can't be a good parent As a man alone and so they are throwing this new woman at him. It's honestly sexism.
" Oh your son needs a new Mom. "
Meanwhile the son is like, "No I already had a Mom."
Not you all (even the camera guy) having an existential crisis and texting your moms after the age progression story 😅
"Community breast, community chest" 😂😂😂😂
my mom passed away in 2021 october , my 3 kids were there with me and it was unexpected she passed in her room and we didn't know until my son (8-9 at the time ) told me nana don't look ok ...
so i rushed even tho i was 30 weeks pregnant .. tried my best but sadly it was to late :( i miss her so much and i wish she could have met my son ( he was born premature at 35 weeks)
it's been a rough 4 years of constant death in my life and trauma but we are healing slowly
I'm jealous of yall with your close relationships with your parents 😭
Silent gen, boomers, gen x, millennials, gen z, alpha
“Walking like you going to see the Lord or something “ 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
The one with the 4 year old. As a mom myself, sometimes you’re just gonna make mistakes and they’re literally learning-life. NTA the baby will be okay.
Love the podcast btw
It might have even helped him have some empathy for her friend's kids
Definitely gonna help with empathy
I'm 61. I'm afraid my parents aren't callable. I do still have an aunt.
As to the dead wife. My husband and I are remarried widows. We've been together 6.5 years, I'm only now starting to feel like I can borrow Christine's belongings. I haven't redecorated her kitchen or the bedroom because I don't want to trespass. I don't understand how people can be so calous about their partner's late partners. I also don't understand why they get so jealous about them.
Nothing better than waking up to a new Comfort Level Pod :)
Story 2: The guy isn't the AH but he does need to learn the definition of a boundary. You can set your boundaries for yourself not for the actions or behavior of someone else.
Every relationship has boundaries. Not flirting with other men is a given. Dropping her shirt in front of other men to show off is flirting. If she had been a man Flashing a dick or butt it would be considered sexual harassment to everyone.
15:39 how did nobody say communittitties
honestly yeah i have a coworker who got a boob job and the first 16 times she showed me her tits i was like “wow they look amazing!!!!” and now i have to tell her i don’t wanna see boobs today. it’s weird
I’m always worried I’m not spending enough time with my daughter before she turns 18. Thanks to this episode I’m even more worried.😢😭
As a 42yo, the death anxiety is very real.
im only 19 and dealing with it constantly :,))
the parent conversation gave my 28 year old self so much anxiety that i now have so much that i want to have a sleepover with my parents
The husband has a right to preference. She has the right to show her boobs but he has the right to leave someone who’s willing to show off parts of herself that were meant for him. He got in a relationship with someone who was modest.
0:33 So your feet have to stay dry, but also, too tight fitting shoes will cause your feet to sweat(some people like me, develop sweaty feet naturally or through stressors) Ever since I caught C19, my hands and feet sweat profusely, so I found spraying the soles of my feet and in between my toes with antiperspirant spray to really help cut down on the moisture, smell, and the coldness of my entire body!! Crocs material just worsen your feet sweating, and then you loose heat super quickly, in the heat it isn't that noticable bexause it is kind of wicked(weird how that words meaning is could be sucked away, or really evil) away.
in case you’re interested you could also look into botox to cut down on excessive sweating
I’ve been binging your pod all morning and totally forgot a new one was coming out! Great surprise. 😅
19:52 what sex offenders say before opening their coat
i think the most the husband can do in the flashing story is say it makes him uncomfortable, they can talk through why and he can hear her out as well (but like genuinely hearing each other out), but he cant set a boundary on what she does with her body. just as she wouldnt be able to do the same to him.
I think it's reasonable to not show other men and a group of men your breasts when you have a husband. She is literally trying to get attention from other men when she has a husband. How is that any different then flirting with other men? Not to mention she violated everyone's consent in that room. The husband is perfectly in his right to be upset and even want to leave her when she can't keep her clothes on anymore.
@@kellharris2491 oh well yea i think he has every right to leave her i just dont think he has any right to tell her what to do with her body. if shes the kind of person that likes to show her breasts and hes the kind of person that doesnt want her to do that then they have ideological differences and yea probably shouldnt be together anymore. but i didnt wanna go to outright “leave her” bc maybe they can solve those differences through talking about it and actually hearing each other out.
@@kellharris2491 and i think with the how is it different from flirting? i think theres couples who have no problem with their partner flirting with other ppl and they share ideologies so it works and then there are people who would hate their partner flirting with other ppl and i think thats fine too. i think its less a one size fits all and more about finding someone who shares your ideology about life.
@@mkamara7279but would someone be in the wrong for being like I don't want you to flirt with other ppl while we're dating? Like I think that IS a boundary and if it's not one you can accept then we just break up
@@lalie9995 no i dont think theyd be in the wrong. and i agree if its not one that your partner can accept you can and probably should break up.
screw the other commenter that said the acts were cringe they're hilarious
#bringbackdadfights2024
Sam on BB would for sure win the first HOH and be backdoored the next week 😂
The breast community or The community breast? 🤔
The dad fights between country dads is the funniest. Cause they usually a few beers in and the balance is almost nonexistent 😭
The irony of you walking around snowy CO in Crocs is unmatched. For anyone else curious; Crocs were actually invented in Boulder, and the HQ is in Niwot. I worked in their call center office in Broomfield! They do sell clogs with different linings that are quiet warm, many older customers told me how they love them in the winter LMAO. I hope y'all enjoyed your visit though! I can't help but spit out Croc facts whenever they are mentioned.
AM I FIRST??
I’m sorry I was possessed by a middle school boy
thats so funny and yes
the transition sound sounds like the arthur flashback sound effect to me i love it and can’t get over that every time
I lost my mom suddenly to cancer 9 years ago. Text your mom ❤️
Also, if you have messages that are important to you or conversations with any loved ones, you enjoy, take screenshots. I have little snippets preserved in time that I treasure. It was one of the best ideas that someone gave me after she passed.
My brother and his wife used to get into barfights together all the time when they were younger. The wildest story I heard was when bro squared up to this dude who was being an ass, and the dude and his friends dragged him outside. Sister-in-law was like "oh hell no, that isn't fair" and tried to make her way out when dudes girlfriend was all "where the f*ck do you think you're going" and tried to fight her. Sister-in-law threw a few good punches, got hit once, and knocked the gf out the way. I'm a letting foggy on the details from here because it's been a while since I've heard the story, but I know at one point, sis was on one of the dudes back ripping at his hair, he managed to throw her off and turned around to punch her, and she smashed her boot right into his nose and broke it. Brother also held his own pretty well. They went back to that bar a few minth later and someone behind the bar asked Sister-in-law if she was the one that fought the guy (let's just say his name was John). She said yes, and the guy started laughing and telling her that she "f*cked him up" and he had it coming because he's always running his mouth and acting like a big dog. He said that now, whenever he starts going off, the staff or even one of his friends will remind him how he got his ass beat by a 5'4" woman, so he had best just sit down and shut up.
47:28 I'm so broken that this parent talk means nothing to me. My bio mom could have already died and is have no idea because I haven't seen her in like 5 years and she never wanted a relationship with us. My dad raised me and my twin sister and I love and respect him but listening to people with healthy parental attachments reminds me that I still have a lot of issues because I don't think about these kinds of things at all.
So glad i found this podcast, I've binged so many old episodes and I can't wait for the new videos! Millennial mom with a Gen Alpha toddler. God help me...😂
“I could have 45 years or two weeks” goes hard
1:01:06 that sounds like a lifetime movie
Jumping up and down with her shirt pulled up at a party?! I'm sorry but that's ridiculous and out of line. She's got issues.
1st story the husband isn’t the asshole and I think the wife is pushing boundaries doing that like there a difference of time and place for either man or woman like just randomly flashing people and I felt like she sexualizing herself
Sam has lived a life. He can relate indirectly to or has an anecdote for SO many of these stories lol!
The boob lady is in the wrong imo because yea free the nipple but as has been said tgere is a time and place to do stuff like this. It is dependent on the context.
The dead wife story is sad. The gf needs psychological help. Not only because of the atempt but also because if the other stuff.
As the friend I’d be pissed that she showed her breasts in front of my husband. How disrespectful!!
5:20 for the first story from R/Entitled Parents :))
me sitting here 2-3 years into not seeing my mom and hardly talking to her besides birthdays and holidays, cause pookie gave me a cool heap of trauma, and i cant bring myself to talk to her frfr knowing how she is.
"Everyone text your mom!" 😂❤
17:10 what's with the body shaming... like.??? there's nothing wrong with A cups bro.. that's not fair to make fun of people with small chests, we can't help it..
Update the dad has late stage alzheimers and the family is all terrible 🤪
Dang, that one story started with the poor kid in an existential crisis, and ended leaving everyone in an existential crisis. 😭
.
Woah, that girlfriend story was...wow. I thought that was a made up plot from tv shows/books. Hopefully that lady gets mental help, and I hope bro can heal too.
Don't be forgetting about Gen X!
Not me texting my dad while my eyes are watering…. 😭😂
The one about the dead wife sounds like a lifetime movie
them tryna figure out the order of generations 😭
Just found this podcast today and I'm already obsessed! ❤
damn i’m early, i’ve been listening to this podcast non stop recently,, when i’m cleaning, cooking, getting ready or going to sleep😮💨
Yes Sam that is how dads are
so im currently 18 and i just got to 47:17 and i am crying thinking about all the time ive missed with my dad.
he's not dead just lives on the other side of the country.
Unironically had my messages open to text my mom to hang out at 47:10 😭😭 im trying to work out not have a crisis lmao
Not all of you giving yourselves existential crises!! 😂😂
Catching up on all your podcasts, as someone who lost their father unexpectedly last year CALLL YOUR PARENTS TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM. My dad was only 62 I've just turned 32 which hit me realizing if I die at the same age as him I'm already over half way:(
Your dogs name is Husker? I’m sorry that is the most Nebraskan thing about you
Our Grandma named him so we didn't have much of a choice lol but yes.. very nebraskan - Madi
@@comfortlevelpodcast lol I suppose it is a cute name but I’m not surprised😂 I went to school in nebraskie
Every time Comforters get brought up, Sam has to bring up Ottomans LOLOL
EVERY TIIMMMEE
Thinking about anyone passing makes me want to explode but with my animals it’s like a whole different feeling.
Also I have had a strained relationship with my mom for a long time but within the last year or so we’ve really made strides to mend our relationship. One thing that made me want to mend it is the fact that she’s getting older and I don’t want any regrets.
When Sam said Community Chest I started laughing and coughing 😂
When you guys were talking about gaining subs through big brother, i was like oh surely they have a million subs now. Checked, only 52k... But hey, theres also 52k views ❤
I just know you guys will have twice the amount before the end of winter (summer for you guys?) in August
that last story has got me thinking that maybe its not just the gf taking it upon herself to become his late wifes doppleganger- since his family is not on his side and wants him to make it up to gf and get married so that his son can have a mother; im thinking that maybe the family has also put in some mentions or words to gf that would imply that he wont love her like he loved his late wife. besides the fact that she took it upon herself to give op AND the son the cold shoulder because the son didnt want to call her mama, it seems that op is being the last to find out things on PURPOSE, and theres no going up from here unless gf gets some serious help and op can find out just why this is happening.
Thinking about losing your parents hit different. I co-own a company with my dad and my mom picks up my daughter from school so I see both my parents every day. But when I get a random call from them on a weekend or at night when we’re all at our own houses, my heart drops a little before I answer the phone bc I’m always scared it’s bad news about the other parent or sm. They’re only 55 & 60 so it always makes me sad to know that it was a thought that crossed my mind.
Tell your people you love them often! I'm in my 30s and no longer have my mom and wish I was able to talk to her more. Couldn't have a proper conversation for 10 years because of Alzheimer's. I wish I at least texted her more. Share love and spread glimmers to brighten the darkness ❤❤❤
About the flashing: I fully agree that boobs should be desexualized BUT that’s not the problem here. Like they said, time and place. I feel like the male equivalent to this would be if some guy randomly lifted his shirt in the middle of dinner with other couples to show off his abs. There are dudes who do that for sure, doesn’t mean it’s not inappropriate and making everyone around uncomfortable.
I do feel bad for the four-year-old having the horrible realization of death. That is a bit young to have it. I remember reading in one of my dad's science magazines when I was a kid that the sun will grow and kill us all in millions of years, which seriously freaked me out, but then I realized we're all going to be dead by then anyway, and that freaked me out even more. I feel like I was maybe 8 or 9. And a few years ago I visited my grandparents' graves with my sister and her daughter. And I think that was her first exposure to death because she was asking a lot of questions that we answered gently, but honestly. For the 4-year-old, there really isn't anything you can say to comfort him in that horrible realization. It's just a fact of life that we don't know how long we're going to live. We don't know how long the people around us are going to live, and that impermanence can be really frightening. But life goes on.
Noticed you guys wearing teddy fresh in a few of the videos!!! Family Family Family!❤❤❤❤
Sahdia is awesome, I’d apply for her dating show!
This is a month old, my mom died on 1/5/24, her bday was 2/2 she was 58 and it was so unexpected . 2/29/24 i had a major surgery and i cried so hard because i thought she was gonna be there. i wish i could have texted her again. please treasure ur time. my cousin said they have lived part of their lives without us but we havent lived our lives without them. my advice write a letter to ur kids and see if they write one back both of yall cherish it. after my shoulder heals im getting a tattoo of her words from a letter of hers hopefully copying the handwriting as close as possible
😂 "Community Chest!" 🤣🤣🤣
With the death story, that mom is better than mine 😅 I was talking to my mom about how I can’t imagine the rest of life without someone we lost and her response was “Well I’m gonna die, your dad is gonna die, your older siblings, you’ll just have to go on” 😭 I ended up crying more than before I called her 😂
As someone who comes from a dysfunctional family it is so crazy to hear how you guys are actually sad about your moms eventually dying and leaving yall because I cannot fathom how that feels. It is nice to hear that yall love them and get that love from them too
That last story was very much like the thriller movie: "Single White Female." Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda.
Awesome flick that withstands the test of time.
The last story I feel so bad for the guy but he needs to stay far away from Kayla she wrote the disgusting note and did this for attention she thinks he’ll come back. Like they said it’s the cliche “I’ll kill myself if you leave me”. The only thing in her note she put was about him keep that nut away far away
Thank you guys for being so open about how thinking about death (of ur self and family) makes you feel. I’ve been struggling with getting smacked w existential crisis every other day and it felt good to hear someone else talk about it bc wtffff some ppl act like they can go all their life without thinking about the shit
I lost my mom recently, way too young. You never know how much time you have left. please please please tell the people who are important to you in your life that you love them as much as you can 💙💙💙
I don't have a kid.
But I suspect a lot of PPD can come from seeing the most beautiful being you've created & immediately knowing it's going to die one day. & You can't do nothin about it.