I totally agree, love bombing is your clue. Observe, bide your time dont give too much away ie information about yourself... They try to be like you and that is how you let your defences down. Say "no" or disagree with them. You will see the mask drop. Go heal, find your attachment style. Whatever your parents didnt give you, a narc will. Give your self all the validation, love you need.
The truly amazing part is that we see them as the most amazing person ever, but that amazing person was us all along. We question ourselves and our worth but THAT is actually how people see us. Often, that is why they mistreat you, to knock you down a peg. That is a mind F and a half...
As someone who has a mind of her own and embraces her individuality, I can't fathom how there are people out there who mimic others to the degree narcissists do. Sickening!
Totally, a bit of space and you see what creeps they are. The best antidote is to be real. Just call it, see what’s really happening. Yeah I need to stay with myself more, not abandon myself so readily in the moment. Brilliant video Candace, full of brilliant insight. Thank you!
Soooo true. I was new to a new town, knew nobody and was taken under the wing of a very popular person who welcomed me into her social circle. I became her go-to, because she could not stand being alone. Eventually I got tired of doing everything SHE wanted and pulled back. I was slowly discarded, as I had seen her do to 2 other people. She referred to herself as a "truth teller", but the silent treatment goes completely against her self image. Made me furious and hurt. In retrospect, if she had nor done this, I wouldn't have done the work to get where I am today. I'm good now, but this was an excellent reminder. Thank you!
I've been married to my narcissist husband 25 years. And I noticed that I have become him and he's become me. I bully him now I treat him like crap and he puts up with it. When We Were Young he used to treat me like crap and bullying me. And now it's the other way around. I'm concerned that I have become a narcissist like him. At times I'm aggressive as well😳
👉I found watching videos on NearDeathExperiences flipped a switch for me on this✅ ⚠Don't poison yourself with your own negative emotions. Value yourself, 'zoom out' and displace your low-vibe emotions with _appreciation that _you_ have choices their blindness will not see._ Move beyond the Good Vs Bad dilemma dichotomy, and Flip your default disposition from one of Defensiveness/Attack to Kindness/Allowing. ✨ The meanings you give their behaviour are being supplied by _you_ . Find ones that lift your heart higher. Seek the ☮ within you.
@@PeterAcrat Thank you so much It's going to be hard because I have isolated myself from everyone But I'm going to try to reunite with the people that care about me.👍❤
Thank you for sharing your experience. This is a topic I'd like to see discussed more on narcissism and trauma bonding. Spending enough time in these dynamics changes people.
Love this! "Self-Soothe" just what we needed to hear. I feel like this can relate to all relationships good and bad. A reminder to be whole within "ourselves" instead of asking or thinking "are we ok, what are they thinking". We will give off the best energy & & could truly heal if we stick to that. Hey, we could even rub off on the ugly parts of others. Like you said Candace they are mirroring the good in us anyhow. Haha! Love your work and you are always refreshing and beautiful inside & out. Def can't hide your glow! ✨️Thanks again 🦢🕊🤍
Codependency can be healed, but narcissism can't be healed. Empath -narcissistic relationship is an abusive relationship. And codependency is the key to the sustainability of that relation. If empath is the mirror narcissist is the images all that negative emotions are reflecting on empath
I can tell when the guy I’m dating is dating other girls because he starts to send me messages that sounds like a completely different person and the use of different words that he never used before, because now he he’s mirroring some one else and just copy there messages.
So scary! Thar is what I am experiencing right now! This lady came on July and I was the one training her. She started coping my hair.. my dress styles! The way i talk with coworkers.. If I wear something the next day she wear same colors and styles.. she observes from shoes to head when I come to work and next day she does it..its creepy! I have never had that experience before!! It's so obvious even when I use gold jewelry next day she does it.. I change for silver and right away she did the same.. how can I stopped her doing that! I know she seems that I am sociable and coworkers come to talk and share time with me.. is it a type of envy??
I just mirror the narcissists bullshit right back with the quickness with a little hint of sarcasm and a joke and they don’t know what hit them. and it usually scares them a little and then they know who the real wolf is. Never back down to these cowards
I am married now with 3 kids & my ex is also married & just recently had his first child. I received a phone call from one of my friends that knows about his life, telling me he named his child the same name my husband & I named our first son. It was the first and middle name exactly. I want to believe it’s a coincidence but it’s not a common name. I feel disturbed by it. Do you believe this can be mirroring even though we live two separate lives? I want to believe he doesn’t watch our social media but I now think otherwise & want to be so private.
I think it’s really great all the work your doing to help people 👏 I have a narcissist father and in order to avoid being like him. I constantly over correct myself and end up beating myself up 10x worse. That said I know I have narcissistic tendencies and I have made other people feel the way you mentioned here but never intentionally to pull the rug out on them, I don’t think. That said I tend to employ punitive punishment after awhile and that sounds exactly what your talking about with mirroring to have emotional leverage. Most people think I’m really kind which I am, but why do you think I have the impulse to make people feel overly speacial so that they will take my disappointment more serious?
Thank you for that incredibly insightful video. I am interested in your into course that you referred to in the beginningof this video. How do I get more information about that? Thank you! 😊
I believe that is inner work. www.candacevandell.com/inner-work/ all the classes and courses are in the description of this video if you want other options 😊
Can someone be like this subconsciously or are narcissistic people aware that they're doing these things? For example a child just "learning behavior" from their parents but not realizing it's narcissistic?
i was mirrored by a weirdo narcissist to the point of him starting to dress like me. i did the exact opposite of what she is saying. i did not fall in love with it. i found it irritating, annoying, and straight up weird. so i went no contact and this was before i knew more in depth about narcissism. it was just my intuition and my ability to pick up on things to allowed me to realize this dude is sick and something is not right with him.
So I thought my fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response was being activated. It's a long story, but I basically get that activated when I see "red flags" but my response is flight, which i do but then I want to return to them and apologize. Then ill see another "red flag" and it starts over again until i tell myself no more. Am I a narcissist?
My mom who’s a narcissist and I are in therapy together as I told her that was my condition for us to communicate. Is this a waste of time if she is excellent at adapting to the session and never actually changes but is just going with the flow? I kind of feel re-invalidated but she does it in a nice way 😅😅😅
Excellent explanation! Are all narcissists consciously aware that they're doing all the things you explained like the false mirroring, etc, or is any of this happening unconsciously?
Found out everything is me all a reflection of my deepest I them so will be kind and respectful to all am a super empath by birth for real from an old trpamp deadly psychic I see it all need to join soul tribe
Every explanation of you to others is apologizing for a hidden weaknes Don Juan matus sorcerer this is to be aware of ones thoughts you are brilliant earth angels exist
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This is ABSOLUTELY truth & it’s not just relationship but FRIENDSHIP as well.
Yeah that's the one that caught me off guard. The narcissist friend. Its so difficult to pin down and identify
Yesssss
@@eoinMB3949yes good awareness
I totally agree, love bombing is your clue. Observe, bide your time dont give too much away ie information about yourself... They try to be like you and that is how you let your defences down. Say "no" or disagree with them. You will see the mask drop. Go heal, find your attachment style. Whatever your parents didnt give you, a narc will. Give your self all the validation, love you need.
Narcissistic family members are the worst… x husband trained his flying monkeys well 😏
They obviously dont care about you. Thats a tough one to accept. Especially at the end when you are sad and anxious and they couldn't care less
The truly amazing part is that we see them as the most amazing person ever, but that amazing person was us all along. We question ourselves and our worth but THAT is actually how people see us. Often, that is why they mistreat you, to knock you down a peg. That is a mind F and a half...
As someone who has a mind of her own and embraces her individuality, I can't fathom how there are people out there who mimic others to the degree narcissists do. Sickening!
wow, the last “special” person told me they were a mirror, and i’ve never really understood it until now 🙏❤️
✨✨✨💥
“You don’t need them. You need You” hell’s yeah
Hell’s yes
I noticed one of my co-workers mirrors. His whole personality changes to whomever he is with.
Totally, a bit of space and you see what creeps they are. The best antidote is to be real. Just call it, see what’s really happening. Yeah I need to stay with myself more, not abandon myself so readily in the moment. Brilliant video Candace, full of brilliant insight. Thank you!
Thank you so very much!!!!
@Unit in Harmony Totally. Well done you.
I know...they do it all the time😮
Soooo true. I was new to a new town, knew nobody and was taken under the wing of a very popular person who welcomed me into her social circle. I became her go-to, because she could not stand being alone. Eventually I got tired of doing everything SHE wanted and pulled back. I was slowly discarded, as I had seen her do to 2 other people. She referred to herself as a "truth teller", but the silent treatment goes completely against her self image.
Made me furious and hurt. In retrospect, if she had nor done this, I wouldn't have done the work to get where I am today.
I'm good now, but this was an excellent reminder. Thank you!
Wow amazing awareness
I've been married to my narcissist husband 25 years. And I noticed that I have become him and he's become me. I bully him now I treat him like crap and he puts up with it. When We Were Young he used to treat me like crap and bullying me. And now it's the other way around. I'm concerned that I have become a narcissist like him. At times I'm aggressive as well😳
Come back to yourself.
Don't let the evil win.
👉I found watching videos on NearDeathExperiences flipped a switch for me on this✅
⚠Don't poison yourself with your own negative emotions. Value yourself, 'zoom out' and displace your low-vibe emotions with _appreciation that _you_ have choices their blindness will not see._
Move beyond the Good Vs Bad dilemma dichotomy, and Flip your default disposition from one of Defensiveness/Attack to Kindness/Allowing.
✨ The meanings you give their behaviour are being supplied by _you_ . Find ones that lift your heart higher. Seek the ☮ within you.
Thank you so much👍
I don't like what I'm becoming
@@PeterAcrat Thank you so much It's going to be hard because I have isolated myself from everyone But I'm going to try to reunite with the people that care about me.👍❤
Thank you for sharing your experience. This is a topic I'd like to see discussed more on narcissism and trauma bonding. Spending enough time in these dynamics changes people.
Love this! "Self-Soothe" just what we needed to hear. I feel like this can relate to all relationships good and bad. A reminder to be whole within "ourselves" instead of asking or thinking "are we ok, what are they thinking". We will give off the best energy & & could truly heal if we stick to that. Hey, we could even rub off on the ugly parts of others. Like you said Candace they are mirroring the good in us anyhow. Haha! Love your work and you are always refreshing and beautiful inside & out. Def can't hide your glow! ✨️Thanks again 🦢🕊🤍
Awwww thank you so much! I appreciate you
@@CandacevanDell thank you for the response 💌💌💌 wow! 🤩
@@djkayshay absolutely!!!
Many people mirroring each other...
Yes
Luckily as the narcissist after the lovebombing forgot to mirror us and he mirrors other women, we have chance to be mirrored by other ppl.
Codependency can be healed, but narcissism can't be healed. Empath -narcissistic relationship is an abusive relationship. And codependency is the key to the sustainability of that relation. If empath is the mirror narcissist is the images all that negative emotions are reflecting on empath
Thank you; your message is exactly what I need to hear. You are so healing!
I can tell when the guy I’m dating is dating other girls because he starts to send me messages that sounds like a completely different person and the use of different words that he never used before, because now he he’s mirroring some one else and just copy there messages.
I needed me...I got me❤
So scary! Thar is what I am experiencing right now! This lady came on July and I was the one training her. She started coping my hair.. my dress styles! The way i talk with coworkers.. If I wear something the next day she wear same colors and styles.. she observes from shoes to head when I come to work and next day she does it..its creepy! I have never had that experience before!! It's so obvious even when I use gold jewelry next day she does it.. I change for silver and right away she did the same.. how can I stopped her doing that! I know she seems that I am sociable and coworkers come to talk and share time with me.. is it a type of envy??
Probably! I suggest being bold and mentioning that you can’t wait to see her outfit tomorrow 😄
Terrific insights and advice. Thank you, Candace ✨
Thank you so much!!
Deep intricate insight into what, how and why it all happens. Thankyou so much.
Very welcome
Me who mirrors people to make people comfortable and because I have no actual personality watching this :😢
Same
That sounds like chameleon. Many codependents or highly sensitive people who need some boundary work will do this.
I just mirror the narcissists bullshit right back with the quickness with a little hint of sarcasm and a joke and they don’t know what hit them. and it usually scares them a little and then they know who the real wolf is. Never back down to these cowards
CANDACE, THIS ABSOLUTELY HELPED. MY GOD!!! 💕
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Yep, we had so much in common...😢
Possibly the mirroring of me...
He literally told me that he studies me
Yes exactly
Love your work Candace. Your advice is so clear and resonates with me. Absolutely brilliant. Thankyou.
Thank you so much! I’m glad you are here
Amazing. Thank you. I’ve been learning about this for many years and I’ve never heard it put this way before. ❤
I am married now with 3 kids & my ex is also married & just recently had his first child. I received a phone call from one of my friends that knows about his life, telling me he named his child the same name my husband & I named our first son. It was the first and middle name exactly. I want to believe it’s a coincidence but it’s not a common name. I feel disturbed by it. Do you believe this can be mirroring even though we live two separate lives? I want to believe he doesn’t watch our social media but I now think otherwise & want to be so private.
Thank you so much for your love and guidance!!💗💗💗💗
It is my absolute pleasure!!
This is the best video. I’ve never heard it explain in this way and you are spot on. Thank you for your insight and guidance.❤
Wow. What a wake up call 🧨
Oh my these videos are so powerful
Great video, great explanation.
Thanks you the message.🙏🏾
Welcome 🎉
Love this! Your explanation has been the best so far❤
Fabulous and thank you
Love
Very welcome!!
If you spot them early it just interesting, if yhey het under radar you are all in trouble in narcissistic space nobody can hear you screaming
I think it’s really great all the work your doing to help people 👏 I have a narcissist father and in order to avoid being like him. I constantly over correct myself and end up beating myself up 10x worse. That said I know I have narcissistic tendencies and I have made other people feel the way you mentioned here but never intentionally to pull the rug out on them, I don’t think. That said I tend to employ punitive punishment after awhile and that sounds exactly what your talking about with mirroring to have emotional leverage. Most people think I’m really kind which I am, but why do you think I have the impulse to make people feel overly speacial so that they will take my disappointment more serious?
This is interesting to me because it seems i’m the narc as she was a (self proclaimed) co-d but i don’t remember ‘pulling away’
Narcs usually do the push and pull to create the dopamine dependency
You may both just have wounds but not be the labels
nailed it, as always
so good explaining the reality. you have been there.
Thank you for that incredibly insightful video. I am interested in your into course that you referred to in the beginningof this video. How do I get more information about that? Thank you! 😊
I believe that is inner work. www.candacevandell.com/inner-work/ all the classes and courses are in the description of this video if you want other options 😊
Narcissist : " it's all you. "
me: " Can you keep quiet pls? thx "
Can someone be like this subconsciously or are narcissistic people aware that they're doing these things?
For example a child just "learning behavior" from their parents but not realizing it's narcissistic?
Good morning !! Love you
❤❤❤
i was mirrored by a weirdo narcissist to the point of him starting to dress like me. i did the exact opposite of what she is saying. i did not fall in love with it. i found it irritating, annoying, and straight up weird. so i went no contact and this was before i knew more in depth about narcissism. it was just my intuition and my ability to pick up on things to allowed me to realize this dude is sick and something is not right with him.
Thank you. I needed to hear this 🙌🏽
So I thought my fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response was being activated. It's a long story, but I basically get that activated when I see "red flags" but my response is flight, which i do but then I want to return to them and apologize. Then ill see another "red flag" and it starts over again until i tell myself no more. Am I a narcissist?
My mom who’s a narcissist and I are in therapy together as I told her that was my condition for us to communicate. Is this a waste of time if she is excellent at adapting to the session and never actually changes but is just going with the flow?
I kind of feel re-invalidated but she does it in a nice way 😅😅😅
Excellent explanation! Are all narcissists consciously aware that they're doing all the things you explained like the false mirroring, etc, or is any of this happening unconsciously?
Both
So helpful. Best example I have heard on trauma bonding. I now really get it
I’m so glad 😊it’s a really big and important deal
Brilliant
🙏🏻Thank you
❤👏🥹 thank you thank you your timing is so precise 🙏
Divine consciousness ❤
I love to bait the machine . I cant be a false self. Mirrored Hollywood actor im not. Im not saying anything anymore.
Ur brilliant
Thank you!
Wow
🙏❤️
❤
No didn't feel.they got me just that they wanted to be me
Do you understand you`re all relative Morguecyans( A 2)and i`m Surrelative Xophutgh ( A 1)
Found out everything is me all a reflection of my deepest I them so will be kind and respectful to all am a super empath by birth for real from an old trpamp deadly psychic I see it all need to join soul tribe
Every explanation of you to others is apologizing for a hidden weaknes Don Juan matus sorcerer this is to be aware of ones thoughts you are brilliant earth angels exist
💯🎯
But i dislike such people who copy me xerox me