Tap to unmute

Piper Turns Three!

Share
Embed
  • Published on Jul 18, 2025
  • Thanks for your patience babes 😂 And Happy Birthday, Piper!

Comments •

  • @ConventionallyStupid
    @ConventionallyStupid 15 days ago +9058

    The audacity of Barb to write a manipulative letter TO A CHILD to villainize her father is unhinged

    • @KBeanz19
      @KBeanz19 15 days ago +826

      A 3-year-old who can't even read the card, no less. She knew who she was actually writing that letter out to.

    • @Momjeansandshame
      @Momjeansandshame 15 days ago +371

      And not even call her by her given name to boot.

    • @elisehibbard2489
      @elisehibbard2489 15 days ago +154

      Right?! Her face when she said Jon's name is everything you needed to see.

    • @rebeg.155
      @rebeg.155 15 days ago +180

      My dad’s mom would withhold presents from us in the hopes we’d ask him why they didn’t show up so he’d have to say she was mad at him. She’d try to hurt us in the hopes of hurting/controlling him. In reality we never noticed bc we had no relationship with her. But it still hurt him. She was horrible.

    • @Chris-qf5do
      @Chris-qf5do 15 days ago +48

      On the plus side, piper is 3. I doubt she could read all of that

  • @egemini618
    @egemini618 14 days ago +3753

    Mama Dee did not react to Barb's manipulative threat to k*ll herself. She also didn't mention it to anyone. She diffused the drama before it could start. This is the level-headed wisdom you need when dealing with a narcissist.

    • @jessicacupo4133
      @jessicacupo4133 14 days ago +210

      I feel like she may reach out to Frank about it. Yes, she knows it’s manipulation but she is a compassionate person and likely to be concerned

    • @pickleknits3675
      @pickleknits3675 14 days ago +73

      Mama Dee handled that masterfully

    • @SalomeLópez8203
      @SalomeLópez8203 14 days ago +49

      @@jessicacupo4133 but would Frank take it seriously? I mean Barb has threatened with su|c|de many times before

    • @MichaMontreal
      @MichaMontreal 14 days ago +84

      ​@@SalomeLópez8203Exactly. He won't, and he shouldn't. Narcissists don't off themselves. It's strictly for dramatic effect.

    • @tuononnovainbici
      @tuononnovainbici 14 days ago +101

      Hah, I'm so used to my narc father I didn't even blink at that. Yes, it's wild, and yes, it's traumatizing and a manipulation tactic. The first few times you hear it are always so shocking and triggering.
      But after you've heard it 20+ times from someone like my father it just kinda blends in with everything else, and you can see it for the empty threat that it is rather than an actual cry for help...
      I'm assuming this isn't Mama Dee's first rodeo, seeing how calm and collected she was in responding to that. She saw Barb flying off the handle from a mile away and was 100% ready to greyrock and act as the bouncer. Good on her for shielding John and Shawna from the abuse that Barb was trying to spew all over them.

  • @ThatRandoFangirl
    @ThatRandoFangirl 15 days ago +9112

    Not Barb writing a card for "Charlotte".
    AND I KNEW PIPER WOULDN'T LIKE THE DREAMHOUSE!!!

    • @heidim7732
      @heidim7732 15 days ago +731

      Charlotte would have loved it (Charlotte does not exist).

    • @AcashaGibson
      @AcashaGibson 15 days ago +348

      See I was confused I was like “who’s Charlotte? I thought her name was Piper”

    • @ambermckeever7573
      @ambermckeever7573 15 days ago +216

      @@heidim7732is Charlotte the name Barb wanted for Piper? I think I missed something, but not sure how far back I’d have to go to find it.

    • @PrimordialGrey
      @PrimordialGrey 15 days ago +355

      @@AcashaGibsonI’m pretty sure Charlotte is Piper’s middle name that Barb prefers. We see her do it with Chickie as well in a way calling her the name that she would’ve preferred they name her.

    • @ThatRandoFangirl
      @ThatRandoFangirl 15 days ago +207

      ​@ambermckeever7573 Charlotte is Piper's middle name. Its a lot like Chickie Blue and Barb calling her "Francis"

  • @NoThoughtsJustFloof
    @NoThoughtsJustFloof 12 days ago +152

    The fact that Barb writes "you are a part of me" in the card to Piper reminds me SO MUCH of my grandmother. She was always desperate to be the matriarch, with the entire family revolving around her - but she saw all of us kids as nothing more than extensions of her. We were there to give her attention and something to brag about, and that was it. It's such a subtle line that says so much, well done Shawna

    • @PrincessZelda983
      @PrincessZelda983 10 days ago +5

      I hated that line, but only because it was used accurately according to her character and it stung.

  • @hannahwaldemar920
    @hannahwaldemar920 15 days ago +11252

    Johns anger at Frank is so reasonable and yet makes me so sad

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +1548

      Frank is trying in earnest to do the right thing, but 40 years of doing the wrong thing has put John in a place where it’s gonna be more complicated than that 💔

    • @kristinerodine2510
      @kristinerodine2510 15 days ago +954

      I completely agree. I was nodding along with John and then I remembered the painting Frank created and kept hoping that he’d at least get to see Pipes and give it to her. I can see Frank growing in the future and being there for his son and family. Breaks my heart for John and Frank.

    • @romulansith
      @romulansith 15 days ago +741

      @@tiedcherrystems yet he still tries to defend Barb's behavior which minimizes John's hurt. Thats the problem.

    • @jolindablackman-theodora1832
      @jolindablackman-theodora1832 15 days ago +368

      ​@tiedcherrystems well, I don't think he's doing the right thing. He is being avoidant and pretty much abandoning his son on a tough day. He is also not holding his wife accountable or setting boundaries, so yeah, that someone is being passive doesn't mean they are doing good

    • @ashleyr7878
      @ashleyr7878 15 days ago +391

      Yessss. You almost forget that Frank was complacent in all of the abuse because hes quiet and isnt the one doing the screaming, and being reminded of it kinda hurt cause id grown to like Frank. But John was 100% in the right with everything he said. I hope they actually get to have that talk, at least Frank seems ready to listen.

  • @Kismetkissed
    @Kismetkissed 15 days ago +4987

    ITS NOT OUR KIDS JOB TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSEEEEEEELVES
    THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG

    • @myleahrydberg8848
      @myleahrydberg8848 15 days ago +26

      This is so true-something I have to keep close to my heart for my own kiddos’ sake.

    • @alisonaga
      @alisonaga 15 days ago +29

      I wish I could get my father to understand this, and his mother. I wish my parents understood boundaries. I wish I had a momma D, who was capable of articulating this so well. Glad they have a momma D!

    • @01ofconsequence
      @01ofconsequence 15 days ago +7

      Preach, Mama Dee, preach!

    • @elizabethbrown8859
      @elizabethbrown8859 14 days ago +1

      ​@@alisonagasending ❤️‍🩹🙏🫂

    • @Beepbeep83
      @Beepbeep83 14 days ago +8

      I think once you become a parent its hard for people to remember you are just a person too and will make mistakes. But there are certainly things that should be way clearer to some parents not to burden their children with.

  • @AnonEMouse-ls7fp
    @AnonEMouse-ls7fp 14 days ago +4753

    "The kids don't need to know you were here..."
    Dee Dee was both trying to protect the kids AND preserve Barb's chance of ever fixing things and Barb was too self-centered to see it.

    • @CrazyMama75
      @CrazyMama75 14 days ago +284

      Yes. And I get the feeling she was less protecting the kids and more protecting John. That was probably the first time a mother stood up for him, bless him.
      But how she's talking to Barb, it's so clear she's all but begging Barb to actually listen and learn. Beautifully done.

    • @kristenwelker6493
      @kristenwelker6493 14 days ago +62

      I wonder which kids she was referring to? The kids or the grandkids

    • @Canonicallycreative
      @Canonicallycreative 14 days ago +93

      @@CrazyMama75Yes and her response to her was so deeply empathetic and patient even when she lashed out, calmly but firmly pointing out the pattern was the kindest thing she possibly could've done for Barb in that moment, but she's just incapable of seeing it

    • @JustKass15
      @JustKass15 14 days ago +54

      ​@kristenwelker6493 honestly when I first watched it I was thinking their kids, like Shawna and John. But she could've meant the grandkids. Or even both tbh. The grandkids so they dont wonder what's going on maybe? And Shawna and John so that they aren't triggered again by her being there?

    • @tuononnovainbici
      @tuononnovainbici 14 days ago

      ​@@kristenwelker6493 Usually when she says "the kids" she's talking about the next generation, not the grandkids. It also happened at Thanksgiving when she said "No Frank, Barb and the kids are talking cake. You and I are doing the dishes"
      I don't think we've seen her use a term to collectively talk about the grandkids, but when she says "the kids" she's always mostly referring to their children + partners

  • @alyshahanson1870
    @alyshahanson1870 13 days ago +109

    I really appreciate that the barb confrontation was through Mama Dee and not John or Shawna. She handled that perfectly

  • @Hannah-wl2lr
    @Hannah-wl2lr 15 days ago +9081

    “This may be part of the problem, Barb”
    Mama D is who I hope to be to my adult children. DAMN she shut Barb down real quick

    • @crazylegger
      @crazylegger 15 days ago +143

      SAME. 😭 She treats her children and grandchildren with respect and dignity.

    • @chandrasunny
      @chandrasunny 15 days ago +223

      ​@@crazylegger she even treats Barb with compassion and respect while saying what needs said

    • @s.bibula7585
      @s.bibula7585 15 days ago +112

      She did, but I'm annoyed that she didn't say anything about not calling Piper by the right name. That shit really irks me!

    • @MWNTI_Studios
      @MWNTI_Studios 15 days ago +81

      @@s.bibula7585 Don't forget Francis. Chickie and Piper are in the same boat.

    • @sweetbailey1177
      @sweetbailey1177 15 days ago +145

      ​@@s.bibula7585 I think she was choosing her battles. And in that moment, Barb wasn't going to hear her no matter what she said.

  • @NicTails1
    @NicTails1 15 days ago +5084

    Piper is SO POLITE while enforcing her boundaries.

    • @trelenh
      @trelenh 15 days ago +63

      that's her mom and dad....

    • @user-jj6xp2ln4d
      @user-jj6xp2ln4d 15 days ago +350

      because she realizes she doesn’t have to raise her voice to be heard. she’s surrounded by people who listen the first time

    • @mollyblower3868
      @mollyblower3868 15 days ago +93

      ​@trelenh just because you have a kid doesnt mean you get to upset them for your feelings piper doesnt like lots of people she doesnt want the birthday song she won't die not having them if she was refusing all food or doing something harmful thats when parents need to overstep kids wants to ensure safety and well being

    • @lizzieroseholley
      @lizzieroseholley 15 days ago +70

      And the way her parents respect them!!! Opposite of Barb!

    • @lainiwakura666
      @lainiwakura666 15 days ago +8

      @@trelenhwut?

  • @romulansith
    @romulansith 14 days ago +2482

    That Piper can state her need "No singing please" without fear or worry is amazing.

    • @OldBiddy88
      @OldBiddy88 14 days ago +57

      I wonder if Piper is some kind of neurodivergent.

    • @SeaBlueJay
      @SeaBlueJay 14 days ago +36

      ​@@OldBiddy88 she reminds me a lot of my Autistic family member so I wouldn't be surprised (I'm also autistic, but on a different part of the spectrum. I was just as blunt as Piper but used more words)

    • @SageTheMage2006
      @SageTheMage2006 14 days ago +6

      ​@OldBiddy88 Wow I never actually considered that but it makes sense

    • @Transboi_bean
      @Transboi_bean 14 days ago

      ​@@OldBiddy88 As an autistic person, I am 100% certain that she is

    • @Transboi_bean
      @Transboi_bean 14 days ago +8

      I wish I had that much confidence as a little kid

  • @onejoyfulsong
    @onejoyfulsong 14 days ago +541

    I personally love the differences between Barb and Frank's reaction to being turned away at the door. Frank didn't push or throw a fit, he left the door open for conversation, and went his way. I'm so encouraged that he respected John enough to go home. And I do hope Piper gets her starbug painting someday. ❤
    EDIT: Rewatched and y'all are right - everyone but the kids knew Grandpa was coming. Which makes Frank's actions even more indicative of personal growth imo.

    • @kimberlyowen7600
      @kimberlyowen7600 13 days ago +6

      This ....what you said!!!

    • @liaodiaga1122
      @liaodiaga1122 13 days ago +16

      YES!! And he also accepted that it may be past the point of no return.

    • @paulamcdonald5446
      @paulamcdonald5446 13 days ago +30

      Frank’s guilt is skewing things (not saying he didn’t do well here, he did, but you can see Barb’s ways have gotten him twisted around in his own head)- if only John could see the way he talks at painting class!

    • @supershepherd
      @supershepherd 13 days ago +24

      Cause Frank realizes that he has had a big part to play in the way things have become. He avoids issues, avoided helping Barb when she needed and avoided helping his kids when Barb grew angry and resentful over the years.

    • @nerdontangents
      @nerdontangents 13 days ago +35

      John invited Frank. He was aware Frank was coming as me mentions it at the beginning in the skit. But that said I do think Frank showed a lot of grace when it came to being kicked out. If anything he messed up bringing up Barb he should have just handed John the painting and left. Unfortunately he does have experience knowing that once someone starts lashing out it’s best to just get out of the line of fire until they calm down.

  • @CMacan-22
    @CMacan-22 15 days ago +5866

    As a former weird kid, seeing Piper's feelings be understood and validated, instead of just being told to "act normal" around her guests, that made me smile. This is probably the best example of how to support a child with social anxiety/autism/interests and needs outside of what's "normal".

    • @leafeon_522
      @leafeon_522 14 days ago +139

      SAME HERE!! I always felt like something was wrong with me because I was very much so a Piper at family events. I love the way Shawna doesn't make her feel insecure about her desires

    • @tannad5332
      @tannad5332 14 days ago +91

      I was also a weird kid we did 1 friend birthday party and I didn’t like it so my mom nixed them but there was always a lowkey family party. And I was allowed to walk away whenever. But I had to be polite. My mom was a freaking trailblazer considering I’m a 40 year old.

    • @lineholmgodballe8291
      @lineholmgodballe8291 14 days ago +64

      same! when she started crying and shawna just immediately tried to make her feel better instead of guilting her into continuing w the party or smth

    • @floralspectre
      @floralspectre 14 days ago +2

      +

    • @CreatureFears
      @CreatureFears 14 days ago +18

      My birthday is Christmas eve and I've always hated it. Never had a party. I'm honestly pretty grumpy about the whole season. For a while i thought it's because all my friends and some family were usually too busy that I disliked my birthday but as I get older and know myself better I realize i just don't like the attention.

  • @MauraLongo
    @MauraLongo 15 days ago +7484

    It hits me again and again how much Barb resents her situation. She resents John for being a hard first baby, she resents Frank for not stepping up, she resents Shawna for being an emotionally connected mother and she resents Dee for having a healthy outlook. She might not know it as resentment but it comes across as just resenting everyone.

    • @King-bw8mi
      @King-bw8mi 15 days ago +437

      I also feel as if she thinks she is owed a lot from John because he was a hard baby. :/

    • @alissa6380
      @alissa6380 15 days ago +491

      ​@@King-bw8miI'm not even sure John was a hard baby (compared to other babies), I think she just had a hard experience dealing with him alone

    • @triciawoy
      @triciawoy 15 days ago +263

      ​@@alissa6380yeah it looked like postpartum and as someone who had it with all 4 of my kids that ish is so hard now with people knowing about it.....I couldn't imagine how hard it would have been back then when "baby blues" was something people were told to just get over. I can see how it could lead to resentment. Of the kids, your partner and other mothers who seem happier and more connected or "better" moms to their kids.

    • @neonpinkqueen1403
      @neonpinkqueen1403 15 days ago

      ​@@alissa6380 right, she also clearly had mental health issues that went untreated that would make any first baby hard to deal with :(

    • @leilamalkie
      @leilamalkie 15 days ago +84

      @@King-bw8misometimes when your post partum hits that hard your dream is a do-over. You have to let it go though since time machines don’t exist.

  • @glitter1336
    @glitter1336 15 days ago +4774

    i think the party being called off in the end is a great example of how John and Shawna are breaking the cycle. i could see a mother like Barb being angry with Piper for not liking the big extravagant party and calling her ungreatful and oh what a waste of money, but Shawna sees Piper is upset and overwhelmed and puts Pipers feeling first ✨AND APOLOGIZES✨

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +43

      That's my parents (granted they are Mexican and grew up poor)

    • @naseerahvj
      @naseerahvj 15 days ago +44

      it strikes me more as a reaction Barbs mother would have, that would be learned behaviour for barb.

    • @EstherHulst-Artist
      @EstherHulst-Artist 14 days ago +63

      On my niece 3rd birthday a lot of gifts didn't get opened on her party because it s just to much for her. And I love my sister and our family for not pushing it.
      Now she loves opening them ( 7 years). Its the same with hugs they don't have too.

    • @hakura1a2b
      @hakura1a2b 14 days ago +86

      I can see that's how I would have reacted - to a lesser extent than Barb, but very much wanting to put the group's enjoyment first and the need to 'save face'. Something to reflect and work on in myself.

    • @DEFW21
      @DEFW21 14 days ago +45

      This is how my big brother helped heal me from my mom. In moments where she would have been angry and hurtful, he was comforting and kind and helpful. I pray my son feels as safe with me when hes grown as i feel with my brother

  • @elyseahmad2248
    @elyseahmad2248 13 days ago +67

    HOLY SHIT John called out Frank. AMAZING.
    And Frank agrees to have a convo! Even more amazing

    • @FlopSter-i1o
      @FlopSter-i1o 3 days ago

      I think considering all the dynamics, it wasn't a great decision to invite Frank. Even though he's not the narc, she can figure things out and knows when Piper's b-day is. When Frank is invited, that increases the risk of Barb finding out about the party.

  • @CourtneyThomasdrmomx3
    @CourtneyThomasdrmomx3 15 days ago +2338

    My grandmother who was fairly Barb-esque got me a Barbie dream house for Christmas one year. My parents let me trade it for a microscope.

    • @diannaanderson
      @diannaanderson 15 days ago +55

      Great parents! Am happy you were so fortunate 😌

    • @hannahdavis6311
      @hannahdavis6311 15 days ago +16

      What kind of microscope???

    • @Salicat99
      @Salicat99 15 days ago

      Probably not an electron ...​@@hannahdavis6311

    • @courtney9899
      @courtney9899 15 days ago

      Omg? Are you Piper?😂

    • @UltraLiteB
      @UltraLiteB 15 days ago +23

      Now ✨ this ✨ is icing on the cake 😂

  • @myra7011
    @myra7011 15 days ago +1767

    “Family is important” would be a nice sentiment if what Barb meant was “You are important to me,” but what she means is “I should be important to you.”

    • @shreya...007
      @shreya...007 15 days ago +36

      That is such a great way to put it!!!

    • @amandawells35
      @amandawells35 14 days ago +9

      Amen.

    • @amandahendee9005
      @amandahendee9005 14 days ago +10

      Well said

    • @Bahamaria
      @Bahamaria 14 days ago +41

      That whole letter was so on point by Shawna. Every single phrase is perfect. There isn't a sliver of thought, affection or desire for connection with Piper. It's just, her needs, her wants, and what she thinks she is owed.

    • @bonniepaora8664
      @bonniepaora8664 14 days ago +4

      THIS

  • @am.7985
    @am.7985 15 days ago +3821

    "you keep finding bugs my girl, I'll be right back" That part touched my heart, I always wanted my mother to prioritize my feelings before pretending in front of other people, damn, I'm like Piper

    • @Unknown0ne
      @Unknown0ne 15 days ago +56

      Oo, I get that pretending part. My whole childhood was how it looked not how it was that mattered to my mother.

    • @julie-18
      @julie-18 15 days ago +59

      I was the weird kid but instead of understanding my mom would try to force me to be normal and interact with the rest of the kids. Wild how it’s MY birthday but everyone’s more worried about how I appear to others than if I’m actually enjoying my own celebration

    • @ckane3145
      @ckane3145 15 days ago +38

      Same. I identify with Piper so much. I cackled when she said no singing mother. That's so me.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago

      Mexican Parents could never

    • @odzk1757
      @odzk1757 15 days ago +65

      And the way Shawna called Piper "my girl" the same way Mama Dee calls her "my girl" 😭

  • @DixieTsutsaeva
    @DixieTsutsaeva 13 days ago +27

    The way Mama D just went with it when Teeny took control and told her what to do. I love her so much, it's so cathartic to see her.

  • @ashleywhite3102
    @ashleywhite3102 15 days ago +2676

    "This may be part of the problem. You wound when you are feeling wounded." Those words were perfect. And also her calmness while Barb lost it was evidence of some serious self control

    • @MariaBareiss
      @MariaBareiss 15 days ago +31

      I love Mama Dee!!!

    • @RaeRaeOR
      @RaeRaeOR 14 days ago +67

      The fact that she would not be bullied and did not let Barb in the house…
      What a legend she is

    • @jessicacupo4133
      @jessicacupo4133 14 days ago +21

      Momma Dee is a better person than I am😂

    • @shecathellraizerme2022
      @shecathellraizerme2022 14 days ago

      Better than me too. I would have caught charges ​@jessicacupo4133

  • @cryoglaze
    @cryoglaze 15 days ago +2514

    17:12 Teeny has been ready for this moment her entire life lol

    • @okpoptart
      @okpoptart 15 days ago +15

      😂😂😂🎉

    • @BlazexMadarao
      @BlazexMadarao 15 days ago +63

      The way I bust out laughing when that smile got on her face

    • @trelenh
      @trelenh 15 days ago +4

      😆😅😂🤣

    • @blkophelia
      @blkophelia 15 days ago +11

      ​@BlazexMadarao she was ecstatic!

    • @tanyastacy-haws993
      @tanyastacy-haws993 15 days ago +44

      She will protect little Piper to the ends of the earth ❤

  • @katherinecassidy686
    @katherinecassidy686 14 days ago +2235

    So green hair mom validated John and made him feel seen. It’s what a no contact kid needs when they are brainwashed to think they are the problem. Going no contact goes against all our programming it’s HARD. And because he felt like he did the right thing he had the energy to chat with Shawna. Connection is so important.

    • @khills
      @khills 14 days ago +56

      I mean, that’s great. But it still makes me upset, the way he treated Ty and Shawna.

    • @lineholmgodballe8291
      @lineholmgodballe8291 14 days ago +65

      I hope she and John + Shawna become friends and she can like help him in a way Shawna cant

    • @jackseve
      @jackseve 14 days ago +18

      Going no contact saves our me tal well being and allows us to heal from the years os psychological damage.

    • @Lovelybug777
      @Lovelybug777 14 days ago +55

      @@khills well he was projecting his feelings onto her at the time because he was going through a lot. He just needed a reason to snap at Shawna because he couldn’t explain his pain. I don’t really think it was jealousy towards them. I think he was just angry.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 14 days ago +24

      ​@@khills Yeah, maybe Mo can be the friend that is tough on him but supportive

  • @betzter
    @betzter 13 days ago +28

    john's realisation how damaged he actually is 💔 probably a starting point for healing.
    i love that he found a new friend who can really get it in dance mom. he needs some true ally. looking forward of the future meeting ups at dance class.

  • @pazelii
    @pazelii 14 days ago +2061

    I am sure others have made the observation, but I love the comparison of mothers in this video. A child is injured and his mom takes him home for him to feel better. Another mom sees her child overwhelmed and cancels the birthday party. But one mom sees her child hurt, and demands that he makes her feel better.
    These are silly sketch videos, but have so much emotional depth and warmth to them. In a way, it is teaching me to be a better friend and loving mother, in time.
    Thanks, Shawna!

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 13 days ago +73

      Mama Dee extends her maternal love and affection to those who aren't her own
      Mo (Green Hair), as seen in another video, consoles her child's anxieties and teaches her to take risks. Also affirms someone she didn’t like, because he needed that

    • @gwendolen_the_first
      @gwendolen_the_first 13 days ago +37

      Oh my gosh... I didn't even think about it like that but yeah. In the context of all that gentle love, Barb's behavior is like a slap in the face. Poor John...
      Back to the mantra: Barb isn't real so she can't hurt you 😂

    • @orielwiggins2225
      @orielwiggins2225 13 days ago

      ​@@gwendolen_the_first yes! And sadly for many of us, she is all too real. Just has a different name and or role/gender.

    • @ashleespseudonym
      @ashleespseudonym 13 days ago +41

      Even the happily child-free friend who lives a very different life was all about doing what Shawna and Piper needed, no hesitation, no further instructions needed.

    • @caitlinquinn6239
      @caitlinquinn6239 13 days ago +7

      i did not pick up on that, thank you for pointing it out

  • @ginameronek8068
    @ginameronek8068 15 days ago +1701

    I love that even when Piper is overwhelmed she leverages the "No Thank You, Mother". She knows that she doesn't have to escalate to be heard.
    And woweee Mama D the bouncer!

  • @Ashykitty
    @Ashykitty 14 days ago +1031

    DeeDee gave Barb the exact right energy. Firm and calm, without anger. While Barb was escalating, trying to get a reaction, DeeDee starved her of what she was after. DeeDee is not just a good mom, or mil, or grandmother, she's a good person all around. Barb may never realize it, but DeeDee was trying to help her.

    • @lisainthestudio
      @lisainthestudio 14 days ago +51

      Barb is going to freak when the new baby comes and Mama Dee is always there to block her

    • @sarakrauss2407
      @sarakrauss2407 14 days ago +28

      And I love how calm and regulated Mama D was with Barb and gave no reaction even when Barb was boiling over.

    • @MaryCumbersnatch
      @MaryCumbersnatch 14 days ago

      Amen!

    • @elle_kt
      @elle_kt 14 days ago +5

      There is no physical way for someone to hate mama dee barb needs to take some notes

    • @melissashupak
      @melissashupak 14 days ago +1

      I was cheering Mama Dee! Yes, ma’am!

  • @LordofFullmetal
    @LordofFullmetal 13 days ago +52

    "You are a part of me" sums up the whole problem. Barb isn't able to see other humans as entities separate from her. No, Piper isn't "A part of you". She can be a big part of your LIFE, but that's not the same thing. Ultimately she is an individual creature removed from your existence by two generations. Barb's refusal to understand this is part of the issue. It's why she attempts to claim ownership over things she has no right to. She has no identity, because she's been taught that your entire existence as a person revolves around your family. She probably has no idea who she is. She's made her entire existence revolve around her role in the family (unfortunately common for women), and she can't cope with the realisation that no one else in her life does that. Because SHE sacrificed who she was, everyone else should have to as well.

    • @supershepherd
      @supershepherd 11 days ago +4

      Spot on. Barb went through serious postpartum depression and had no support. Which manifested in her resenting everyone around her while also completely loosing herself. To her she’s given the family her all, so the least they could do is cater to her feelings. Not realizing that though what was done to her was unfair, her children and grandchildren aren’t responsible for any of it.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 10 days ago +1

      I like to think Jen will buck that expectation

  • @emmicah7720
    @emmicah7720 14 days ago +920

    Here's my theory on why Frank acts how he does with defending Barb: he feels guilty. He feels guilty for abandoning her, for being a bad husband and father, and he feels responsible for the way Barb is now. That leads him to defend Barb, even at the detriment of his kids. What he needs to do is get into therapy to work on that guilt. Sticking up for Barb is only going to further the hurt his son feels, and it's also not going to help Barb ever see how she's truly been acting. And maybe if he makes changes, real changes, she will start seeking out those changes too.
    As much fun as it is to hate on Barb, I'd honestly love nothing more than to see her grow into the kind of parent that John and Jen deserve.

    • @Johanna1476
      @Johanna1476 14 days ago +69

      re: Frank - YESSSS!!!! It's especially fresh as Barb has spent some recent time reminding him it's all his fault (not giving himself the grace that he didn't know any better either)
      re: Barb - While Jennifer and John deserve a better mother, a legit narcissist is VERY unlikely to recognize their behavior and change, it's a part of that specific personality disorder and it's very sad. Most of the time it comes from trauma but it's still one of the hardest to treat.

    • @franklinnelson2412
      @franklinnelson2412 14 days ago +70

      I agree. When Frank says, "go ahead and blame me," I think he really feels like she should, like that's his penance for not being able to help her in the way Barb needed or wanted. But I don't think he could have helped her, what she needed was more than what he could realistically provide. She still needs professional help, and so does Frank...and John, and Jen, and probably the poor cashier at the store after she finds out how she contributed to this toxic situation. 😅

    • @emilyhenke-groves7232
      @emilyhenke-groves7232 14 days ago +5

      Agree but that is going to take a whole lotta work and patience to wait for them to be comfortable seeing her again, fully trust that she has changed and let her completely in again.

    • @victoria139
      @victoria139 14 days ago +13

      I agree on why Frank may feel he should defend Barb but ironically by defending Barb especially when she just hurt his son, he is doing the same thing that made Barb who she is, just like her dad left her to be abused by her mom. It would be really great for Barb to get the help she needs and be a better person but I find it really hard to understand how he could defend her when she just hurt his own son.

    • @sofiaraigoza
      @sofiaraigoza 14 days ago +11

      I think it's also the fact that he knew her before. On the video of young Barb we see the hurt that leads her to be what she is now, and Frank also saw that. I'm guessing John was too little to remember anything but a mom that is so narcissistic, but I'm guessing Frank reminisces on past Barb and he feels guilty for that change

  • @potato_heady
    @potato_heady 15 days ago +1441

    "You self righteous haughty cow!"😭😭
    That was vile. Seriously though I love how these archetypal characters help us reflect on our own dynamics with other people. Also poor gramps :(

    • @JenneeAmell
      @JenneeAmell 15 days ago +144

      I mean she started calling her son a "b--" before John hung up on her. Barb's really digging a hole for herself all the deeper.

    • @jaxandcouture
      @jaxandcouture 15 days ago +95

      I love that Dee read the behavior instead of feeding into it too! Shows a level of stability that Barb is surely jealous of and sent her off the cliff 😂

    • @kayleighbrown459
      @kayleighbrown459 15 days ago

      Nah. Screw Gramps at this point. Stop trying to defend your shitty wife to your neglected kid.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +9

      Oh no she didn’t! Oh yes she did!

    • @mamacito1795
      @mamacito1795 15 days ago +67

      And dee dee has done nothing to barb except ro just exist. In fact shes been the most caring and understanding. But as she said Barb has to lash out. Her name is very fitting 😂😂

  • @ceolwyn78
    @ceolwyn78 15 days ago +1567

    I wanted it to end with Piper and Frank catching starbugs, because that would be so sweet, instead, I get to go talk to my therapist about how glazing over the harmful dynamics instead of addressing them is such an ingrained part of the people pleasing that I didn't even notice the instinct real time in the emotional sandbox you've created and allowed us to play in..... o.O that is some damn work you put into this. Bravo!!!

    • @istrala
      @istrala 15 days ago +27

      Wow, what an insight. Good work and thanks for sharing. ❤

    • @maddielee1109
      @maddielee1109 14 days ago +11

      oo delicious metaphor i love it, so accurate

    • @marshaloneagle4646
      @marshaloneagle4646 14 days ago +29

      Amen to the sandbox. My personal growth, therapy and getting to "see" how harmful a Barb can be validates. When I try to explain my experiences to someone it sounds so trite , self centered, yada yada all those deep planted messages . . .
      Thank you for this rather painful series.

    • @tianthee
      @tianthee 14 days ago +13

      Oh God. I'm more damaged than I realised.
      I also would have let Barb in since she's already there... to avoid a scene

    • @swampcreachure4423
      @swampcreachure4423 14 days ago +10

      That's actually, a really good point.. I'm gonna sit with that for a minute and probably talk with my therapist about it too 😅 thank you!

  • @roselemieux4463
    @roselemieux4463 12 days ago +15

    So much to unpack here. My favorite part was DeeDee being that unmovable force between John and Barb!!! That was beyond satisfying, and I’m glad none of the kids knew she had shown up. They don’t need to be confused about the issues the grown ups are trying to work out. Piper is really proving to know exactly what she wants and I love it 😂

  • @CrazyMama75
    @CrazyMama75 15 days ago +859

    Also johns "i think I'm pretty damaged" is so on point. He absolutely need therapeutic support, and it should be Frank who pushes him that way. Frank needs to open up, be vulnerable and let his kid actually see him for once. Shawna sees more of Frank than anyone else, but only cos of art class, she was able to meet him in his comfort zone, but he needs to take some emtional risks and be vulnerable cor his childrens sake.

    • @ButterflyTema
      @ButterflyTema 15 days ago +27

      praying for a day john comes to shaunas painting classes and gets to see another side of his dad and they could talk it out a bit not just magically fix it but to just reach some kind of ground. Crying about the firefly painting he made for her and if she ever got it ;;;

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +1

      ​@@ButterflyTema I love that.

    • @roses.6600
      @roses.6600 15 days ago +22

      I agree. He had an opportunity to tell John that he had tried to talk to Barb about apologizing and she blew him off.
      He needs to be more vocal and vulnerable about how he is trying to be an ally.

    • @courtney9899
      @courtney9899 14 days ago

      Fr John should go to an art class with his dad one time he needs to meet him where Frank is at. Frank needs to inform John of what happened but not back Barbs words and actions

    • @rebeccajones4stories
      @rebeccajones4stories 14 days ago

      ​@@roses.6600Frank reminds me in many ways like my Dad. He's damned no matter how you slice it. My dad would go to the coffee shop to get away from my mother. But it left us children at the end of her wrath and anger regarding her husband not being there to "help" her. The fights were legendary. I cannot begin to say how many years my mother would tell us, "Do not celebrate my anniversary to that man. That was the worst day of my life, marrying him. I would have been (insert career goal, here), if he hadn't begged me to marry him!"
      One day I said, "So, you're saying that you wished we (4 children) wouldn't have been born?"
      "I was on the Pill when I conceived you!"
      By the way, she'd later state, "Why, I would NEVER say such a thing!" to others when I told them what she'd said. Only three years ago did she finally admit she told me she was on the pill when she conceived me.
      *sigh*
      Then there was the time she flagged down my ex-husband down the street from where he picked up our son for visitation, laden with presents.

  • @CaityRay8
    @CaityRay8 15 days ago +1130

    That simple, natural “of course my boy” was so subtle but exactly what John needed at that moment. He needed to feel the natural, gentle care of a mother.
    This is fantastic writing and im so in love with this channel for the storylines and mannerisms she applies to every single character. Even down to little Piper. Great job!

    • @daynabailen4331
      @daynabailen4331 14 days ago +25

      Shawna is such a good actress.

    • @ladylilac4363
      @ladylilac4363 14 days ago +14

      You cannot imagine what a heartfelt, healing balm it is for a daughter-in-law or son-in-law to get to have that kind of relationship, with their in-laws, when their family of origin was a mess.

    • @meatarms-facegerms
      @meatarms-facegerms 14 days ago

      ​@@ladylilac4363absolutely. We have a long way to go, but the bridges my husband burned with his family are made up for in the strong connection that he has with mine. We may never see that side again, but he has a full cup of love and acceptance (has started referring to my parents as Mom and Dad instead of YOUR Mom and Dad.♡)

    • @louiskat1900s
      @louiskat1900s 14 days ago +3

      Why is everyone ignoring that he asked her not to call him that and she did anyway???

    • @willowthewisp2725
      @willowthewisp2725 14 days ago +24

      @@louiskat1900s When I first read your comment, my immediate reaction was to argue semantics between Deedee calling John "my favorite boy" vs. "my boy," and while I do still think it's a little semantic, I think there's something to be said for it all the same. I also think it's context-dependent, and let's not forget that Deedee said, "We'll find it" (it being their "groove" or dynamic or what-have-you, now that she's moving in with them full-time). John understandably has conflicted feelings about his mother and probably motherhood in general. In a normal, still kinda new environment (with the prospect of Deedee being there full-time), when Deedee calls him "my favorite boy," it doesn't quite land right, because he still has his guard up somewhat and maybe because it feels a little recycled and kitchy since "my favorite girl" has always applied to Shawna. When she calls him "my boy," it's right after that blow-up with his own mother and father, as well as evidence in the form of the Dreamhouse that Barb really doesn't care about his boundaries-- in short, it's when John is feeling raw and needs that motherly comfort. Basically, I think boiling it down to "she called him this when he asked her not to" misses some of the underlying nuance of the situation and discounts the earlier agreement that Deedee and John had come to that they would find footing with their new dynamic.

  • @r10greyhoundsrule87
    @r10greyhoundsrule87 15 days ago +802

    MaMa Dee's composure and grace while under verbal attack yet still protecting her extended family from Barb's venom by refusing to allow her to barge into the house under any circumstance was a thing of beauty. She maintained reason, calm, voice control, empathy and understanding all without giving an inch. Wait til Barb finds out MaMa Dee isn't there just for the party as a guest but she's moved in, at least for a while.

    • @lola_love444
      @lola_love444 15 days ago +81

      Wait to she finds out WHY. Frank and Barb still don't know Shawna is pregnant

    • @CaityRay8
      @CaityRay8 14 days ago +33

      @@lola_love444omg i forgot she doesnt know that yet! That might be what really breaks her. Its going to make her realize how much she’s missing out on by being such a nasty person and not addressing her inner issues. At least we can hope.

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 14 days ago +38

      I can just see that exchange next time Barb comes knocking and Mama Dee answers the door:
      "Oh! Why are _you_ here?"
      "Question is, Barb, why are _you_ here?"

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 14 days ago +16

      ​@@lola_love444 I thought Frank knew? The last art class? I'm second-guessing myself now

    • @brendam.5932
      @brendam.5932 14 days ago +9

      @@maggpiprime954 Yeah Frank knows...

  • @whittlyarts
    @whittlyarts 11 days ago +18

    I just...Barb hates her children so, so much. She's just like my mother. She says she loves us but there's always that deep-seated resentment.

    • @supershepherd
      @supershepherd 10 days ago +1

      Yup, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying. She thinks because she struggled so much raising them that they owe her happiness. When realistically her kids never asked to be born and don’t owe her anything. And the more she lashes out and disrespects her kids boundaries, the worst she’ll feel in the end.

  • @SinnySunLitUp
    @SinnySunLitUp 14 days ago +824

    4:14 the parallel of Dee calling him a "good sport" when he communicated he didn't like the nickname while Barb would insist its affectionate and call him ungrateful.

    • @louiskat1900s
      @louiskat1900s 14 days ago +8

      Except didnt she call him that at the end anyway? I thought it was strange of her to say it again since she’s so good at listening to boundaries usually

    • @moncielvariable
      @moncielvariable 14 days ago +8

      ​@@louiskat1900s Good catch. Maybe she was still trying to find her bearings? It was not exactly the same as in the beginning. We'll see

    • @briannarobinson8648
      @briannarobinson8648 14 days ago +29

      ​@@louiskat1900s I interpreted it as it coming naturally from her. Like the first time was for the sake of a nickname, but this time it was her thinking of him as a son

    • @Samziclez
      @Samziclez 14 days ago +35

      John also said ‘we’ll find it’ meaning he’s not really used to it coming from a genuine place, but he’ll try to assimilate. Mama Dee did say ‘it doesn’t have to stick’ if it makes him feel uncomfortable. I think she’s gentley trying to heal the trauma responses Barb has instilled in him. John only knows parental affection as manipulation tactics so of course he’s going to be stand off-ish. I think mama Dee moving in will really help in John’s development, and possibly even help with his relationships with his own parents too. And hopefully the store clerk and Lauren will help with Barb’s selfishness. Eh we’ll have to see what Shawna has in store, I foresee a lot of dramas happening. Especially with the green hair dance mom, who seems to have similar circumstances as John.

    • @GreenMojo28
      @GreenMojo28 14 days ago +54

      ⁠@@louiskat1900s no? She called him “John honey, my favorite boy” and by the end she just calls him “my boy” noting that he finds the first one too much.
      While it taken him aback because he’s not used to loving nicknames, I think it just hits him that Dee is actually respecting his boundaries by not being too much with the nickname as per his request.

  • @august3833
    @august3833 14 days ago +958

    I love that Shawna neutrally asked, "What do you think?" Of the gift and didn't tell her where it came from.

    • @Mel-s9h
      @Mel-s9h 14 days ago +16

      Missed that one- yes, absolutely!

    • @oliviagreaves6276
      @oliviagreaves6276 11 days ago +4

      She is an absolute masterpiece she's wonderful xxxxx

    • @LaDyLuCk2900
      @LaDyLuCk2900 11 days ago +13

      Another part showing her and John breaking the cycle. Barb would have coaxed Piper into saying she liked it or playing with it saying it would "make Grammy so happy" or "Grammy will be very hurt if you don't like the big beautiful gift she spent a lot of money on"
      I remember seeing this at Christmas and birthdays, I'd be told off if I was gifted something and like clothes and would thank them saying I'd need to change the size. I'd say it for the benefit of the person giving the gift, to reassure them I liked it and I'd not be able to wear it immediately but I would once I got the right size. This would be followed by a telling off saying I should have just thanked them and not said anything else. But I always thought it showed more respect both ways to communicate why I couldn't wear the item immediately.

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 6 days ago +1

      I think it would have been better, more nuanced and complex, if Piper liked the gift. And most likely in a few days she will play with it. That's the way kids are. I doubt it's going to sit there, unused forever.

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 6 days ago

      @@LaDyLuCk2900 I think it shows they are continuing the cycle. Barb would have thrown out the other kids if Barb had wanted the party to end. That's exactly what Shawna did and she also taught Piper it's ok to do the same. Very narcissistic.

  • @Ombby
    @Ombby 15 days ago +861

    Listen I know you're a PHENOMENAL actor, but how the hell do you make Piper crying so believable?? I already forget these aren't separate people, BUT THE FACT THAT I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOKING AT A CRYING 3-YEAR-OLD!?!?!??!?! Every detail is so accurate, down to the pouty lip and even the way the tears finally burst out. You might be a magician, and you deserve all the recognition and more.

    • @sarajoystandridge6512
      @sarajoystandridge6512 15 days ago +57

      Or how she makes herself older to portray Barb and Frank?!?! Like...HOW?!?!!

    • @roses.6600
      @roses.6600 14 days ago +34

      I was thinking the same with Barbs voice. She can be such a banshee and it is portrayed so well it is easy to forget they are the same person!

    • @CloudyMarc
      @CloudyMarc 14 days ago +32

      No what got me is HOWWWW in the hell does she manage to make Barb's facial expressions seem like those of a bitter wrinkly old woman?! LOOKING LIKE JUST AN ADULT WOMAN! XD pure, RAW talent

    • @amandasnider2644
      @amandasnider2644 13 days ago +2

      I think the hair plays a big part lol. Especially with movements the messy strands bouncing

    • @ratboygirl
      @ratboygirl 13 days ago +6

      she studied acting + the meisner acting technique for many years, under a direct student of Sanford Meisner himself! but being a wizard is a close second reason for her talent

  • @EchoAndnoise
    @EchoAndnoise 12 days ago +39

    Dude, Barb is going to FREAK when she finds out dee dee is moving in to help with the third baby, she also has no idea bout 😂

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 5 days ago

      That seems so weird to me. Dee doesn't have a job? A house? Friends and activities? A spouse or partner? She's giving it all up to just move in? What happens when the kids get older and they don't need the help?

    • @EchoAndnoise
      @EchoAndnoise 5 days ago

      It's probably a temporary move in for like the first couple months.Maybe so that way they can adjust to having 3 babies instead of 2 like they say it takes a village.She probably owns her own house.People who own their own houses can dip out if they need 24 a couple months​@@sbg2520

    • @blu-
      @blu- 3 days ago

      @@sbg2520 Then she probably moves out. It's not uncommon at least where I'm from for grandmas to move in for a bit to help while mom just gave birth

  • @syeneingram1218
    @syeneingram1218 14 days ago +1075

    I need a backstory for Mama Dee too please! I feel like she's really been there as well, but she took the opposite route of Barb and it turned her into someone more relatable and understanding. Like maybe she went to therapy and it turned out well for her.

    • @OhAmyDontH8Me
      @OhAmyDontH8Me 14 days ago +58

      I had an abusive parent and I was a cycle breaker so for me it was “I want better for you” but for other who also had an abusive parent it’s “I had it bad so everyone should feel bad”. It really is a lot of work to undo generational damage and trauma.

    • @thereseb85
      @thereseb85 14 days ago +24

      Yup. That's what I thought. I'm Mama D, and while I treat everyone including my children with respect... it's taken YEARS to respond to people like Barb, with that level of grace. That was the hardest part.

    • @jamierodriguez8218
      @jamierodriguez8218 14 days ago +11

      I could see that. I broke the cycle with my kids and I couldn't have asked God for a better more loving, caring, emotionally available, understanding father. We have been so blessed to break the abuse cycle for both of us and the divorce cycle. We are the only ones on either side still married after 20 years...and I will not sit here and say it's been all rainbows.. it's taken so much self reflection, so much work to be communicative, understanding and patient with each other, and the storms we've weathered together any one of them would have been a legitimate reason to split (addiction struggles, infidelity, both of us knowing we wanted to have our kids know nothing of abuse, neglect or manipulation but having to learn to end those cycles with each other and communicate) but we both know that it takes wanting to show up for one another and a deep love. I love DeeDee and sometimes think that she must have a hell of a story to tell. She so well adjusted it's almost intentional and I know first hand when you don't want to hurt anymore, you learn to accept and forgive and you show up everyday never wanting the people in your life to ever feel the hurt you have, it makes you not just hyper aware but it makes you willingly and lovingly show up for those around you and become intentionally well adjusted.

    • @gellisbarber1786
      @gellisbarber1786 14 days ago +8

      @@jamierodriguez8218 😭😭😭😭😭 Having a caring partner willing to learn and grow with you is really such a gamer-changer when it comes to breaking cycles. We put so much blame on the moms and forget that dads are a huge part of the dynamic too for better or worse. Frank is a decent guy, but John is correct: a lot of dysfunction in the family is his fault too.

    • @idiotwhodoesthings
      @idiotwhodoesthings 14 days ago

      seconded!! we definitely need DeeDee’s backstory because I need to know how that wonderful woman came to be. I also wanna know about Shawna’s family history and how it came to be that DeeDee seems to be single, whether by becoming a widow or through some sort of relationship ending. I think learning that DeeDee comes from an equally traumatized background as Barb and yet continues to choose kindness would make for an even more major juxtaposition between the two grandmas we know (DeeDee) and hate (Barb)

  • @shelby9227
    @shelby9227 14 days ago +375

    Barbs final line of "I guess I'll just kill myself" really struck home and I'm glad John or Shawna weren't the ones to hear it. Growing up my mother would say that all the time whenever we expressed that something she did or said hurt us or just as a way to win arguments. My younger brother and I recently brought it up to our mother and she had no recollection of ever saying it. Mind you, this was a line she'd use in *every* argument, no matter how big or small. So it doesn't surprise me that someone like Barb would say it as well. I'm just surprised she hasn't said it sooner

    • @MotherOfChows
      @MotherOfChows 12 days ago +16

      My mother wasn't/isn't that extreme but she pulls the "well I guess I'm just the worst mother in the world!"

    • @Fr0stria
      @Fr0stria 11 days ago

      Yeah my mom has pulled the “you make me want to kill myself” and “guess I’ll just leave you alone forever” cards before. It is in my opinion one of if not the worst thing you can say to your child. It’s so exhausting trying to explain how they are hurting you and just have them shut you down by scaring you like that.

    • @melissavaldez9792
      @melissavaldez9792 11 days ago +9

      My mom a few years ago used that line “I wish I were dead” or something of that nature- in front of my sonwhen I was not present smh. He came back to me crying, I was furious! All this because she didn’t get greeted with a hug like she wanted by her grandkids when she came to my hotel room (we were on a trip together) and I was havinv a rough time with my kids at that moment. Needless to say I later blew up on her, not a very proud moment for me but at my young age of 45, I’m slowly realizing how self-centered & selfish my mom can be. She’s a sweet lady but wants everyone to think of her. She has gotten a bit better.

    • @asdfghjkl0932
      @asdfghjkl0932 11 days ago +1

      @@MotherOfChows my mom always said and still says that line “I guess I’m just the worst mother in the world”… But she did also threaten the same as Barb at least one time I can remember vividly.

    • @shannondeller1565
      @shannondeller1565 11 days ago +3

      Im #8 of 10 kids. My oldest brother #2 got into an accident where he almost died. No one could find his POA and so our mother took charge denying his good friends to see him. We had a family meeting and went off on her. My dad (theyre divorced and were at the time) went off on her saying his siblings did the same to him when his father died. We got emotional, told her that she cant do that to people and told her how she's been emotionally damaging to her 6 daughters. Her response: "I would NEVER do that to anyone" "I dont know what youre talkint about"... ours: "mom you've literally done that to every single daughter". She told me id be on the street with no help from her or family if i didnt do what she wanted. Said duck that and left the state and moved on with my life. She's better now but still manipulative and she's met my small kids but i wont live where she can damage them too

  • @GeorgetteLowden
    @GeorgetteLowden 13 days ago +31

    Piper expressed a boundary, and Shawna had everyone kicked out immediately. I hope she can do this for John one day.

    • @riaterzi2826
      @riaterzi2826 13 days ago +6

      I hope so too... It seems like she has a difficulty understanding the severity of the situation cause she has a healthy relationship with her mom. Also her being pregnant right now can make her more sensitive and in her feelings. But this is NO reason to disrespect your husband's boundary.

  • @gcontrucci3182
    @gcontrucci3182 15 days ago +1687

    The interaction between Mama D and Barb had me crying. That really hits close to home. The mother you have and the mother you wish you had. The narcissism is spot on ❤

    • @wendilynlanga3322
      @wendilynlanga3322 15 days ago +38

      It does hurt. I am John. 🥲

    • @loriannebaumgartner5386
      @loriannebaumgartner5386 15 days ago +64

      Johns face when Deedee called him “my boy” after she clearly ran interference with Barb.

    • @legitkit1330
      @legitkit1330 15 days ago +66

      I started crying when the green haired dance mom told John he did good and basically cried through the rest of the video. I’ve had almost exactly the same conversation with my dad that John and frank had

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +18

      @@loriannebaumgartner5386
      YES!! And especially after saying it at the beginning of the party and John “not liking it,” then her saying it again because she knew he needed to hear it 😭😭😭

    • @wyvern723
      @wyvern723 15 days ago +4

      I am John too.

  • @kathydurow6814
    @kathydurow6814 14 days ago +188

    I was wondering if Frank's star bug painting would come into play.....can you imagine if Barb knew Piper loved it & not "Charlotte's" Barbie gifts.

  • @kimberlylorusso4999
    @kimberlylorusso4999 14 days ago +364

    My husband went NC with his mom. After his dad randomly "dropped by" several times (we lived 100 miles one way away) to tell my husband how hurt his mom was and tried to excuse her awful behavior, he ended up going NC with his dad too. Everyone warned husband he'd feel guilty if he didn't forgive her because "you only get one mom." My MIL passed away. The only guilt my husband felt was that he didn't feel more sad. His therapist explained it: he'd already grieved the loss of his mother 18 years ago when he went NC after years of emotional abuse.

    • @kristinwest2179
      @kristinwest2179 14 days ago +25

      This! I stillove my dad and will be sad when he dies, but I will not be guilty about keeping a boundary that protects my peace.

    • @carlahartman3180
      @carlahartman3180 14 days ago +9

      ​@@kristinwest2179thank you. You perfectly articulated where I am at with my dad when I could not articulate it for myself. ❤❤

    • @greenbeantm1096
      @greenbeantm1096 14 days ago +7

      I don’t know if this will help him or not, but if you think it would you can let him know he’s by far not the only person to experience guilt over not missing someone more, and not even just because a relationship was toxic.
      Personal story as explanation for that, skip if you’re uninterested/feeling I’m drawing attention away from original point:
      My grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 7-ish years before she passed, during the last 2 or so my emotional connection to her ended because she stopped being my grandma, and *man* did I feel guilty about that and man did I feel bad about how my reaction to learning she died was basically “oh, ok”. Relationships and emotions, like many things, are not as clean cut and simple as humans try to pretend they are. Some of us hold as tighten as possible to any semblance of a connection until one party actually dies, and some of us experience the death long before anyone mentions a pine box.

    • @rishel8738
      @rishel8738 14 days ago +5

      Same boat as your hubby but with my grandmother. When I was informed of her passing, I cried because I wasn’t there to support my mother; I already grieved over a decade beforehand. I was NC for ten years while she was in a nursing home and LC (practical reasons prevented full NC) for five years before that. Some people tried to excuse her actions and guilt me about it because she was experiencing decline from early dementia. The dementia didn’t cause her to become abusive. It just exaggerated her existing behavior to the point that I couldn’t emotionally sweep it under the rug anymore.

    • @cheshiredj
      @cheshiredj 13 days ago +2

      That's exactly it! I felt bad when my brother died, for the circumstances and his family. But for me, I knew my life wouldn't be any different because I felt like I lost him years ago.

  • @lizreynolds4554
    @lizreynolds4554 12 days ago +2

    All the different dynamics of parent/ child relationships is fascinating. Great job!
    I love how Shawna HEARS Piper, and takes care of her.
    Mama Dee handles Barb Fabulously!
    All in All, some of your best ever!❤

  • @mikamikami1
    @mikamikami1 15 days ago +1384

    I have so much to discuss!!
    1. There still seems to be some kind of tension between Ty and Shawna, and this is quite obvious when Shawna jumps to ask Ty to leave at the end of the party. It also looks like since Ty is going through marriage problems, he may either be trying to have Shawna as an emotional support friend (someone who he can share his troubles with and relax a bit) or something more. In my opinion, it seems like he does indeed have some kind of feelings for Shawna, whether he’s aware of it are not.
    2. I love that green haired mom said what she did to John. From Shawna unintentionally empathising with Barb (almost answering the phone) and Frank defending her, he really needed to hear that. I’m sure it would be comforting to know that he’s not alone in this, especially when the people around him seem to have pretty good relationships with their parents (mostly Shawna).
    3. Barb writing a long letter to piper gave me so much rage. The entire letter was about her and her feelings, about her ‘status as a grandmother’ and about how SHE can’t see piper right now. Hell, she didn’t even wish piper a happy birthday IN HER BIRTHDAY LETTER. I don’t have much experience with narcissists but it baffles and fascinates me how un-self aware they can be. If I had a drink for every time barb said ‘I’ in the letter, I’d be an alcoholic. Also not to mention that SHES LITERALLY THREE!!
    4. I also love the overarching storyline of John and Shawna trying to compensate for the way max’s party lead to them overlooking that piper does not like overly crowded gatherings. It’s a nice touch to show how they tried so hard that they forgot to consider who the party was for and what she would’ve wanted.
    I might add a few more things as I find them haha, so please excuse me!

    • @Kermiwolf
      @Kermiwolf 15 days ago +163

      When she was writing that letter, I was enraged for a vast majority of it until I thought, "Wait. Piper is THREE! She's not gonna be able to read this, and the parents are just gonna throw it out once they realize where it was going!" I eased up significantly at that realization, because Shawna and John would NEVER let Piper (or Max) be exposed to that level of toxicity. Then I remembered it was a skit and... This woman is SO GOOD!! 😭😭 👏🏿

    • @Momjeansandshame
      @Momjeansandshame 15 days ago +128

      I think that its all of the newborn baby stuff that got Shawna overwhelmed. Not Ty himself. She may be freaking out about doing it all over again.

    • @mikamikami1
      @mikamikami1 15 days ago +76

      ⁠@@Momjeansandshamethat’s a good point! I hadn’t considered that. I still think there’s something weird going on with Ty at least, especially with the looks he was giving her during the changing scene(and overall vibe). I look forward to where this goes though! I literally can’t tell haha

    • @thebloodandflower
      @thebloodandflower 15 days ago +88

      So nervous that Ty is going to 'lean' rather too much on Shawna with his 'I'm not flirting' flirting bc of his own marriage issues. I also... don't fully trust the green-haired mum. I feel like John treated Frank badly, but then we don't have as much info about his toxicity in the family in the past. So maybe John's justified? Not sure. It broke my heart. Lastly, why do the characters not say 'Her name is PIPER!'

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +45

      Mo (Green Hair Lady) has the energy John needed for Barb, not Shawna

  • @kittenmitten9430
    @kittenmitten9430 14 days ago +270

    I freaking LOVE. How Shawna and John have the willingness to change things when it doesn't suit Piper. She's a sweet little weirdo and I love that they don't force her to be happy or grateful for things she is genuinely not happy or grateful for. No singing, less people, movie time, may you get me cake please. From one weird little kid to another, Happy Birthday Piper!

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 6 days ago

      She also taught Piper that you can demand your friends leave a party you invited them too. She is creating a self-centered spoiled kid. And that it's ok for grownups to scream, "You need to leave, too many f*cking people"--even to scream this in front of small kids.

  • @crimson-kitten92
    @crimson-kitten92 14 days ago +269

    I want John to get therapy. Like actually see a therapist. He needs it and it would help him a lot. To have a place he can confide everything he feels without any expectations or guilt. It would be hard for him, but I think it genuinely would be really healthy for him in the long run.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 13 days ago +4

      Yes. Also for Jen and Frank. Shawna and John.

    • @crimson-kitten92
      @crimson-kitten92 13 days ago +4

      @@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254yeah. I just think Jon’s in most immediate need for it while probably also being more open to it than Jen or Frank

    • @katrijndekeersmaecker1904
      @katrijndekeersmaecker1904 13 days ago +8

      Maybe Green hair mom can help push him in that direction? She sounds like she's been down a similar road.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 13 days ago

      ​@@katrijndekeersmaecker1904 Might give him a recommendation

    • @LadyoftheDreamless14
      @LadyoftheDreamless14 11 days ago +8

      The overreaction to shawnas moment is very telling. I think they have done amazingly to this point, but i think maybe couples councelling might be an easier start for them both and it might get John conforitable with the idea of therapy in general. He seems to have an attitude of "deal with it yourself" but i think we all know that that only goes so far.

  • @ToffeeCrunch
    @ToffeeCrunch 11 days ago +5

    The way piper can enforce her boundaries at three is proof of how good parents John and shawna are. Pipers boundaries are listened to and respected and is why she feels comfortable setting them when she feels uncomfortable ❤️ literally healing my inner child

  • @melissasaint3283
    @melissasaint3283 14 days ago +185

    “I didn’t end it all….FOR HIM! And thy is is how he repays me?”
    I know a mother who went through that experience during a very hard time in her life, but her view of it is thanking her adult children for being her reason to keep going.
    Probably part of why her children talk to her pretty much every day…

    • @melissasaint3283
      @melissasaint3283 14 days ago +5

      It’s helpful, when you’re NC, if those letters show up before the kids can really read.

    • @jacib1096
      @jacib1096 12 days ago +2

      I have this. My fist son passed away, I named my second child Faith because I was ready to end it, and she was the reason I decided to stay. She could never be a burden, only a blessing. A motivation to live. And as unfair as it is, I needed her (emotionally) much more than she needed me. It's my job and honor to be here for her in every possible way. As an adult, she's begun to understand, and someday as a mother, I hope she'll see it even more clearly.

  • @LuckyFarscape
    @LuckyFarscape 15 days ago +1487

    Frank has been an enabler and I understand John’s hurt when Frank tries to smooth things over for Barb. The pattern has been either Frank shuts down when Barb gets nasty or he tries to defend her in the aftermath. Frank tries to be peacemaker but that role ends up perpetuating the problem with Barb. He shows he understands that Barb hurts people and he’s tried speaking to Barb. Still he should not defend her to John. Because John doesn’t need Frank piling on pressure even if it’s subtle when Barb is actively trying to force her presence on them.

    • @sweeney.family
      @sweeney.family 15 days ago +209

      Am I the only one that thought it was a problem that he was invited and John lost it on him just for showing up.... when he was invited...

    • @urbichatterjee9674
      @urbichatterjee9674 15 days ago +56

      Thank you for this! I was so confused about John's reaction to Frank. I knew there were some deep seated wounds there but couldn't put my finger on it. This explanation helps :)

    • @lize2413
      @lize2413 15 days ago +26

      I wonder how John will react when he finds out Shawna and Frank have been in art class together

    • @margaretkaraba8161
      @margaretkaraba8161 15 days ago +84

      @lize2413 He knws already. Shawna told him after her first art class that he's apparently been going for a while.

    • @farahmeguellati2856
      @farahmeguellati2856 15 days ago

      he knows shawna asked him before what happens if he notices her bany bump and am pretty sure there's a tiktok of them talking about how his dad never showed his hoppies in their home ​@lize2413

  • @crisptomato9495
    @crisptomato9495 15 days ago +704

    Shawna’s response to Piper feeling overwhelmed genuinely caught me off guard in a good way. The option to have people be asked to leave when the birthday kid isn’t feeling it was unheard of in my family lol, they’re more from the “grin and bear it” school of thought so that reaction shook me lmao. Like huh THAT’S ALLOWED?? Also tysm for this series, I’m hooked on it and it’s genuinely so nice to see these family struggles represented in media!

    • @1tommyday
      @1tommyday 15 days ago +25

      Well, to ask a lot of guests to leave a party thst they may have just arrived to is pretty rude.
      I would just move Piper to a quieter spot watching Bugs Life and letting her eat the cake shes fixated on away ftom the guests.
      For at least a little while longer.

    • @TheSusiQew
      @TheSusiQew 15 days ago +12

      Same here, but honestly I wouldn't be able to ask people to leave as they just came in. I would at least let them be dance for an hour or 2 and have an intimate birthday with my kids.

    • @lovethecolourpink
      @lovethecolourpink 15 days ago +6

      It literally made me cry and I was like WHY AM I LEAKING

    • @crisptomato9495
      @crisptomato9495 15 days ago +9

      @@1tommyday oh yeah, letting everyone stay is a totally fair option too of course! Just really surprised me they went a different route.

    • @dontmindmejustoversharing5574
      @dontmindmejustoversharing5574 15 days ago +23

      I felt this way, I was that kid who was overwhelmed but had to power through. It's not really just a family thing but in our culture, guests are taken care of as if they too are family (I'm Filipino) so the kid would be removed from the scene to calm down and the party continues regardless if the birthday girl/boy is present or not.
      I actually had a knee jerk reaction to the scene, like isn't that rude? Would people talk? I'm learning so much from these videos, I don't even plan to have kids and I'm still young but this just showed me that really boundaries are fine, it doesn't matter if it's a crowd of people, it's alright to prioritize ones emotions especially if its kids who have it harder during crowds.
      I'm so glad I found Shawna's channel, she's literally the best T~T

  • @user-ws5mb7it5g
    @user-ws5mb7it5g 13 days ago +9

    "its not our children's jobs to make us feel better"
    Oh man.
    OH MAN. ❤

  • @hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195

    11:18 I said "eww eww eww" like a dozen times now while Barb is writing her message - uhm Piper can't read, right?

    • @R03N_01
      @R03N_01 15 days ago +54

      that letter was definitely more for herself than it really was for Piper

    • @Katya_Jones
      @Katya_Jones 15 days ago +50

      And the FACE Barb made when talking about John...*shudders*

    • @TeeganLee
      @TeeganLee 14 days ago +30

      My grandmother used to write preachy/judgey letters to everyone in the family, and one by one they all asked her to stop, except for me. As the youngest grandchild I could barely read her handwriting so instead of being upset by the content I just enjoyed trying to decipher what the hell they even said. I can totally see Piper being similarly immune even if she could read.

    • @Herslowambitions
      @Herslowambitions 14 days ago +22

      100% that was meant for JOHN to read 😖

    • @TribsyVlog
      @TribsyVlog 14 days ago

      ​@@Herslowambitionsexactly. I was popping in here to say that. I grew up with a Barb in my life and seeing the letters that were intended to be read to the children by the adult was so nauseatingly on point.

  • @cpaigewwg
    @cpaigewwg 15 days ago +657

    Mama D coming in clutch!!! I was anxiously awaiting this to drop. I felt so bad for Piper being overwhelmed by the party but yay for Shawna for the immediate response and shutdown! I also loved the fact that Piper wanted nothing to do with the barbie dreamhouse.

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +64

      I also loved the subtle nod to Teeny being an incredible aunt despite not liking children or kid-related things. Did she hate the party? Absolutely. Was she ten toes down for her niece’s comfort? *ABSOLUTELY*

    • @krystaljohnson3978
      @krystaljohnson3978 15 days ago +32

      And don't forget Barb never got a gift receipt because of course, who wouldn't want a Barbie dream house 😅😂

    • @FantabulousFail
      @FantabulousFail 15 days ago

      ​@@tiedcherrystems This is me for my friends. I'm ride or die for those kids even though I have no desire to have any.

    • @heartsmyfaceforever8140
      @heartsmyfaceforever8140 15 days ago +1

      @@krystaljohnson3978they give you a regular receipt even if you don’t get a gift receipt so all Barb needs to do is return it.
      But it’s a gift and it’s pipers to do with as she pleases. Making a bug hotel could be fun. Or giving it to green haired girls daughter is also an option.

    • @kelleyerin9449
      @kelleyerin9449 14 days ago

      I bet she gives it to jen.For chickie, or she likes to call her francis​@@krystaljohnson3978

  • @V1G4M1
    @V1G4M1 14 days ago +62

    14:30 „I‘ve been there, it‘s rough“ OMG IS JOHN GETTING SOMEONE HE CAN BOND OVER THIS WITH?!? The turn of events, I‘m about to cry

  • @victoriabelatti7141
    @victoriabelatti7141 10 days ago +1

    "Please give my best to your father" that line is delivered SO EXPERTLY
    So much venom, hidden regret, narcissism and sadness in that "your father" it's actually insane
    It adds sooo many layers to Barb's characters, it just demonstrates how important both acting and a good script are, and Shawna nails BOTH
    I am so invested in this series istg❤❤❤

  • @shawnycoffman
    @shawnycoffman 14 days ago +137

    Shawna, I just have to say that, as a writer, I have to compliment you on your storyline, your dialogue, the flow... it's all very cohesive and spot-on. I am so impressed with your structuring of the story. Then acting it all out yourself? You are very, very talented. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @loramcqueen4425
    @loramcqueen4425 15 days ago +406

    So many good things about this video. I know that it was hard watching John let loose on Shawna, and then Frank. The thing that will save John is his ability to see when he is acting from his hurt. He came right out and said he is damaged. I see John realizing he needs therapy. I think Frank is just starting to realize how much damage he caused with his hands off approach. That talk with John will be hard as hell, but I think Frank will be willing to work for a relationship with his son.
    I love that a whole group of grown ups fully embraces and loves Piper just as she is.
    I think Mama Dee is going to be the person who steps in to give them all enough space to start tackling the difficult stuff. She is the perfect combination of Care Bear and Mama Bear.
    They shouldn't throw away that unhinged letter Barb wrote. It will save John a lot of time in his first therapy session.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +29

      And documentation for the police

    • @nerdontangents
      @nerdontangents 15 days ago +41

      Also is it mean I want him to send a copy to his dad and sister? Like listen next time you wanna talk about how mom had it rough or whatever - this is what she sent my Three Year Old because she couldn’t come to her birthday party. But that’s probably the petty person in me that loves drama

    • @damilolaojo3264
      @damilolaojo3264 15 days ago +3

      Omg I couldn’t agree more with this!!

    • @liarayne6639
      @liarayne6639 15 days ago +17

      ​@nerdontangents as someone who is having to have radical acceptance I need to be honest and open about everything that I was forced to choose, and why I was forced to choose it. it makes absolute sense to me that he would send those to his father and his sister at the very least because they need to have something to wake them up. too many people in my life are still acting like I should just shut up and put my nose down and Soldier on like nothing's ever happened to me

    • @samiam2088
      @samiam2088 15 days ago +11

      No, I thought it was satisfying watching John unload on Frank. It was BEYOND overdue and someone needed to finally call Frank out on his avoidant, selfish behavior.
      Unloading on Shawna was less fair. Shawna never answered the phone, she consulted her own mother before attempting any action one way or the other.

  • @rainbowflowerpower4464
    @rainbowflowerpower4464 14 days ago +123

    So lovely to see the portrayal of Piper a quirky kid, who’s NOs and boundaries aren’t mocked or stepped over by her family, I see much of my child self in her character but unfortunately my boundaries were treated as jokes. I know it’s not the main focus of this but I just had to say it’s very moving and touching.

  • @PrincessZelda983
    @PrincessZelda983 10 days ago +5

    Shawna, you have so many comments on here, so mine will probably get lost, but i wanted to share a big thank you to you. You putting all this out there is really strong and important. Not only is everything you've written expertly done and truly good writing and great acting, it's been really helpful, to me personally, for the help and strength it has aided in my own growth and healing. I'm a cycle breaker, and it's hard. Through building my confidence, my therapy, my faith and God, my husband and mother in law, and my kids, I've been able to continue healing to be better wife, mother, and daughter. Your videos have also had a huge impact. My parents fit Barb and Frank to a T. The lines you've written from Barb's perspective sting with scary accuracy, and it reminds me of things ive been through, and can help me pin-point issues I may struggle with as both the child I have been and the grown adult I am now. It also helps me to redirect my thinking and remind me of the mother I actually am and strive to be through Shawna and Mama D. But in a safe way that I can walk away from or come back to. Thank you so much for your work. It means a lot to a lot more of us than should exist. As scarily accurate as this is, im afraid of the pain you may have seen and experienced in your life. I thank you again for sharing all of this. You're a beautiful woman in all the ways and have such wonderful gifts and talents. Thank you for sharing them. ❤

  • @zelle8351
    @zelle8351 15 days ago +253

    Barb writing a manifesto in a birthday card to a three year old is so on brand

    • @01ofconsequence
      @01ofconsequence 14 days ago +3

      A manifest 😂😂😂 I can't. But you're right.

    • @kbarteaux9807
      @kbarteaux9807 14 days ago +1

      Truly unhinged

    • @SalomeLópez8203
      @SalomeLópez8203 14 days ago +8

      I think it was so Piper would see it and ask what it said, and John or Shawna would have to read it in front of the kids. Of course, they'd never do that, they'd probably check the content first and tell her it's nothing or invent something.
      I can totally see my mom doing something like that with my niece

    • @bethvarley9372
      @bethvarley9372 14 days ago +1

      God THIS

    • @meredithbroadwell4194
      @meredithbroadwell4194 14 days ago +1

      I somehow missed that part?? How??

  • @LyricABMonet
    @LyricABMonet 15 days ago +459

    I need him to have that conversation with Frank. That doesn't mean letting Barb back in but having all the information may help John heal. I think Frank wants to be open and honest

    • @taleyag8800
      @taleyag8800 15 days ago +33

      I agree. I think John could have still allowed Frank to see his granddaughter and give her a present. It’s like he got angry at Frank because of the actions of his mother.

    • @ABbeyRandom
      @ABbeyRandom 15 days ago +43

      John said he’s angry at Frank because of Frank’s reaction to Barb’s behavior. If someone slaps you in the face and someone else does nothing to defend you that someone else has also shown they’re not safe to be around.

    • @lanisiciliano6731
      @lanisiciliano6731 15 days ago +42

      I loved that Frank said he would have that conversation but not at Piper's birthday party.

    • @polina-rs4lr
      @polina-rs4lr 15 days ago +24

      ​@@taleyag8800 no, he got angry at Frank because Frank started defending Barb and making excuses for her behaviour. Frank has been doing it all John's life apparently. he was avoiding conflict at all costs, even if it means shutting down the victim

    • @taleyag8800
      @taleyag8800 14 days ago +23

      @@polina-rs4lr When Frank heard that John just spoke to his mother, Frank immediately asked if he was okay, and when John said no, he immediately then said he’d say hi, give the present and leave. John then said, no GO HOME. John was angry right after the phone call, I understand, but he didn’t get angry AFTER John picked up for Barbara. He even asked what Frank was doing there even tho he was invited. And I don’t think Frank was defending Barbara’s actions, I think he was trying to be a middle man and remind John that Barbara is a human and hurt as well (hurt people hurt people). Not in a way to say “you need to forgive your mother” or “cut her some slack” but more along the lines of “there are reasons why your mother is the way she is”.
      And I don’t get why John thinks it’s selfish of Frank to show up. I think he said that out of anger.

  • @SanguinaryDreamer
    @SanguinaryDreamer 15 days ago +601

    Piper rejecting the gift was literal icing on the cake 😂 absolutely needed this today, thank you!

    • @claerwyn6299
      @claerwyn6299 15 days ago +10

      Knew that was going to happen the moment Barb declined the gift receipt

    • @Macy-ft5ge
      @Macy-ft5ge 15 days ago +18

      I think it's another good example of Barb's projection. She doesn't even know Piper well enough to get a gift that she would like. She sees Piper as her role, "granddaughter," rather than Piper, a complex 3 year old with hyperfixations on justice, Star bugs, and penguins. Barb's gift contrasts greatly with Frank's which demonstrates a deeper understanding of Piper.

    • @MichelleH-w9s
      @MichelleH-w9s 14 days ago

      I love every Piper scene!

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 11 days ago

      I bet she'll play with it later.

  • @kaitk3802
    @kaitk3802 12 days ago +7

    The absolute narcissism of Barb choosing Barbies as a gift. If Barb isn't allowed in the house, she can still absolutely try to infiltrate it with her namesake, Barbies!

  • @andigrimes8325
    @andigrimes8325 15 days ago +373

    The "call it even?" part was so subtle and true. Yes, I got the idea from friends, but there have definitely been times where my husband and I were both just a mess and "call it even" was the right way to close it out. Like, sometimes we just do and say stupid things to each other, and it's not always deep, so being able to call it even and close it out is very healthy.

    • @deenibeeniable
      @deenibeeniable 15 days ago +13

      My ex & I used to find a way to stop & say "can we just jump over this?"
      Unfortunately it wasn't enough ("ex"), but it was one of the most successful things about our relationship.

    • @polina-rs4lr
      @polina-rs4lr 15 days ago +11

      yeesss. sometimes it's just time to stop milking the conflict, admit that you both messed up and just call it even. no one is perfect, especially when emotions are involved.

    • @StarParticleShade
      @StarParticleShade 15 days ago +7

      Heeey, my husband and I had one of those the other day! I think it's really good to do the 'call it even' thing. Then, you can both hug about it later. After things cool down my husband and I always talk about it - and it really helps. Not holding things against each other is a really healthy relationship dynamic. Awesome to hear you have such a great thing, OP! I hope you both have a wonderful and long-lasting marriage. May your love be big, beautiful, and always around you.

    • @princessbanannahammock3925
      @princessbanannahammock3925 15 days ago +1

      Yeah, but then towards the end, he brought it up again to teeny, which honestly makes me feel icky.

    • @microwaav
      @microwaav 14 days ago +2

      my husband & i do the same . a lot of our arguments are just misunderstandings (we are both autistic & have a lot of trauma) & at some point we both realize that we've both already made our points and it isn't going anywhere because there wasn't a real problem to begin with . only we call it "this isnt even anything, let's just dump it" à la tim robinson in itysl LOL . (our joint hyperfixation)

  • @felisd
    @felisd 15 days ago +504

    Toddler/young child changing their mind about the theme of the party on the day of after all the work the parents put in is peak toddler mentality. Also, halloween costumes. I laughed way harder than I should have at that part... 😅

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +7

      Imagine if I told my parents with their scarcity trauma

    • @danagoings
      @danagoings 15 days ago +27

      But she didn’t change her mind. She wanted a party themed with the princess from a bugs life.

    • @grumpycloud30
      @grumpycloud30 15 days ago +22

      ​@@danagoings I think John and Shawna didn't realize that and it felt early on like she changed her mind.

    • @EvolvingHooman
      @EvolvingHooman 15 days ago +12

      No seriously! It’s happened to me EVERY YEAR 😂. Kids in double digits, you’d think by now they’d have learned that we can’t change themes the day of! 😂

    • @SjofnBM1989
      @SjofnBM1989 15 days ago +10

      Yup my 2 year old had an entire meltdown about putting on the bumble bee costume she insisted on getting for Halloween and ended up wearing a carebear onesie

  • @ema629
    @ema629 15 days ago +187

    I KNEW Piper would say, "No thank you," to the Barbie Dream House!
    This is a perfect representation of what it's like to have a narcissistic parent with and enabler spouse. The narcissist cannot wrap their brains around anyone else's thoughts or feelings, possessing zero empathy, and they literally believe they can do no wrong. And the enabler spends years allowing the abuse to continue as they "keep the peace" by making everyone sacrifice their well-being just to keep the narcissist from throwing another epic tantrum.
    This is why John is so mad at his dad. His dad obviously didn't protect John as a child from his mom.
    I would LOVE to see content of what that household was like when John and Jen were little....all the way through high school leading into college.

    • @bonniepaora8664
      @bonniepaora8664 14 days ago +2

      Omg yessss i need more flashbacks

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 13 days ago +1

      Young Jen and John

    • @sbg2520
      @sbg2520 11 days ago

      Actually, it would have been more nuanced and honest if she had loved it. She's a child, it's a new toy. In real life, she'd want to take it apart and play with it.

  • @sarahreeves2655
    @sarahreeves2655 10 days ago +2

    So there’s a lot to unpack but like the thing that made me almost cry is Shawna calls Pipper “my girl” like her mom calls her.
    This is such a positive example of becoming one’s mother.

  • @emerylds
    @emerylds 15 days ago +535

    Wow. That was intense. For Barb to have the audacity to show up even though John warned her not to and to verbally attack Mama D. That was low, Barb.

    • @meggoldnight
      @meggoldnight 15 days ago +52

      Right?! Mama Dee is an absolute beast for standing her ground!

    • @emerylds
      @emerylds 15 days ago

      ​@meggoldnight she's lucky Teeny wasn't the one to answer the door or she would have gotten a taste of her own medicine

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +34

      I wonder if Barb and Frank had an explosive fight at home afterwards, or if it was icy silence for two days.

    • @cj_comments
      @cj_comments 15 days ago +30

      Right?!? And the threat to off herself is just the miserable cherry on top. No one deserves to be spoken to like that 😡

    • @MagicGoblinPrincess
      @MagicGoblinPrincess 15 days ago +8

      Audacity is Barb's superpower.

  • @Idliketostayhuman
    @Idliketostayhuman 14 days ago +106

    „You attempt to wound when you are feeling wounded“ oh my god how I love this woman. This was a masterpiece.

  • @natalietepaa
    @natalietepaa 15 days ago +253

    Go mama D!! It’s no wonder she has been the one to receive the invite to stay and has the best parental relationship with her children. She knows what each of her kids and grandkids need, is emotionally and physically available, and is also able to validate the feelings of each person, Without heaping pressure and her own opinions on others. The differences between the two grandmothers are extensive, and I’m so glad she’ll be moving in! Hopefully she’ll be able to help them all heal a bit. I also love that Shawna and John understand and act on Piper‘s feelings, and they just get it. They comfort her, meet her needs and try to create the best dynamic they can.

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +20

      Barb is going to HIT. THE. ROOF. when she learns about the new baby and Mama D moving in.

    • @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254
      @jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 15 days ago +3

      Yeah, my parents were not like this

    • @BexMacFarlane
      @BexMacFarlane 15 days ago +1

      Omg Barb is going to EXPLODE when she finds out Mana D is moving in with them.

  • @lilmisstrixie
    @lilmisstrixie 9 days ago +3

    So many emotions, so many amazing moments and lines in this episode! I particularly love the exchange of: "I think I'm pretty damaged" "You are an incredible person." Both can be true (and with John, I think both are). I was raised by emotionally manipulative parents, and I think both are true of me. Thankfully, I have had an amazing partner and several fantastic therapists who have supported me repairing the damage and increasing the incredibleness. 😂 I hope that John can get help healing as well.

  • @koalaeucalyptus
    @koalaeucalyptus 14 days ago +316

    Oooh is that a supportive friendship I see potentially happening with green-haired mom (Mo)? I can see she finally might have seen him in a light of "overwhelmed parent" - she can now start the process of humanizing him, instead of judging the first impression she got.

    • @moanka.00
      @moanka.00 14 days ago +50

      Agreed! She made a lot of assumptions about him when she first met him. Now she knows they have things in common - eccentric, bug-loving children and estranged parents. It would be great for John to have someone who fully understands his position. Shawna tries, but she’s almost empathetic to a fault and still sympathizes with Barb. It would be great for John to have a friend who gets the feeling of having to hold that no-contact line with an abusive parent.

    • @lilmissNancyPants
      @lilmissNancyPants 14 days ago +9

      @@moanka.00John does not need to be friends with another woman. It’s not appropriate and starts people down a road of emotional betrayal of their spouse.

    • @kjanaeblue
      @kjanaeblue 14 days ago

      @@lilmissNancyPantsparenst are allowed to have friends of the opposite gender. Not every parent is gonna cheat on their spouse just bc they know someone of the opposite gender

    • @butterflywason2336
      @butterflywason2336 14 days ago

      ⁠​⁠@@lilmissNancyPantsThat's a really unhealthy viewpoint. People are allowed to have friends, regardless of their respective genders. There is nothing inappropriate about a man and a woman being friends. The insistence that men and women can't have friendships without it leading to emotional betrayal of their spouses because of the assumption of some kind of attraction is really weird. By that logic, can a bisexual person have no relationship with anyone outside of their spouse? Can lesbians only be friends with men and gay men only with women? It's complete nonsense. Don't project your insecurities onto other people.

    • @myra7011
      @myra7011 14 days ago

      ⁠​⁠@@lilmissNancyPantsThe idea that men and women can’t be friends is so regressive it’s embarrassing that anyone still thinks like that. Grow up, we’re not in preschool anymore and no one is going to get cooties from being near someone of the opposite gender.

  • @meggoldnight
    @meggoldnight 15 days ago +138

    I love the fact that when Piper said she was overwhelmed and didn’t like the party, that Shawna apologised and shut that down instead of trying to force her to go play with the guests! Also Mama Dee is an Absolute BEAST! Standing her ground like that when Barb called her a cow

  • @heather8374
    @heather8374 15 days ago +530

    Just about 22 minutes = pretty much the length of a 'half hour sitcom' episode. You really have a whole drama-dey here.
    I love Teeny. Her relationship with John is chef's kiss. And the dance mom overhearing John dealing with all of that and showing kindness and solidarity, was perfect. Piper not wanting the dreamhouse was the cherry on top.

    • @michellep-r6z
      @michellep-r6z 15 days ago +17

      Yes I agree. It was empathy. And Ty, is tired and lonely. But I am glad that Shawna is putting her immediate family situation foremost. I agree with another comment that he gave her a bit of ick lol. She's got enough to deal with at the moment

    • @AnnSabatini
      @AnnSabatini 15 days ago +25

      @@michellep-r6z I really like that Shawna didn't feel that way about Ty hinting that her bed looked inviting. She offered him to shower and change into her husband's clothes while she watched Ty's baby and Ty napped in the bed she shares with her husband. I know that seemed like a boundary violation to many others, but I really think she would have made the offer to any sleep deprived friend with a very young baby. She did not get the ick until Ty suggested she hang out with him and talk to him instead of heading back to the party. I found that very relatable. The thing that sets off red flags to an individual is not the thing that many others would point to.

  • @CeliacCoffee
    @CeliacCoffee 13 days ago +9

    This was a hard one. I had a grandma like barb (and thankfully one like mama Dee,) and it’s hard. You see how they treat your parents, and you see how much they wound and hurt. And if you don’t give what the grandparent wants from you - they lash out at you too. It’s hard, and John is hurting a lot, but cutting Barb out is best for him, his wife, and his children in the long run.

  • @gaxri
    @gaxri 15 days ago +815

    Have I watched the shorts? Yes. Will I watch the entire video again? OF COURSE! ITS SHAWNA!

    • @micky_knuckles
      @micky_knuckles 15 days ago +75

      It seemed like there were extra scenes in between shorts that I've seen, am I tripping or did I miss something

    • @Art4avez
      @Art4avez 15 days ago +18

      @@micky_knucklesyou are not tripping

    • @cassdraws06
      @cassdraws06 15 days ago +29

      ​@@micky_knuckles not tripping ! these long form videos always include extras :)

    • @mikan._
      @mikan._ 15 days ago +8

      ​@@micky_knuckles i think youtube shorts have limited lenght compared to tiktok so some bits get cut off here (iirc)

    • @KayceeSpeaks
      @KayceeSpeaks 15 days ago

      Samsies

  • @Citizenesse8
    @Citizenesse8 15 days ago +95

    I love how Piper gets her own agency in boundaries at her birthday party. She gets to express how she feels in the adults in her life pay attention and adjust where appropriate.

  • @bibiguy26
    @bibiguy26 15 days ago +628

    IVE NEVER BEEN MORE READY

  • @delilahbelle2125
    @delilahbelle2125 12 days ago +5

    Ugh, that "letter" in a child's birthday card. Reminds me of the letters my estranged FIL used to write to my kids when they were babies at Christmas and on their birthday. They'd wax poetic about hoping myself and my husband would "find it in our hearts" to let FIL & MIL into the kids' lives. The last one came when my twins were 3, I think. My daughters name was misspelled.

  • @tiedcherrystems
    @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +218

    Frank finding out what he subconsciously already knew; John needs more than just a “love you, Pally” 💔

    • @nerdontangents
      @nerdontangents 15 days ago +19

      And ya know I have faith that unlike his wife he’s going to actually take that as incentive to do better. Not just with John but Jen as well.

    • @moxiegraphix
      @moxiegraphix 15 days ago +26

      @@nerdontangents I felt it was a good sign that he was willing to have that hard conversation with John later. Barb would never. Frank has a lot of issues and I feel much of the defending he does of Barb comes from a place of guilt for not being there for her after John was born. Therapy would do them all some good.

    • @tiedcherrystems
      @tiedcherrystems 15 days ago +7

      @@nerdontangents
      Did you catch what John said about “at least you’re not screaming at anyone”? That makes me think that Frank would lose it on the family so that Barb could calm down, meeting fire with fire. 💔

    • @nerdontangents
      @nerdontangents 15 days ago +50

      @@tiedcherrystems I actually took it more sarcastically. Like well you didn’t scream like mom so I guess you want a blue ribbon.

    • @nerdontangents
      @nerdontangents 15 days ago +6

      @@moxiegraphix oh I agree Frank needs to talk to someone about that. I personally want to headcanon he’s already gone. But it could be possible he still needs to fine tune his approach. Cuz plateauing is a thing and if just went in to address his marital problems without addressing the kids he could still be stuck on “I need to atone for not being the husband I should have been.” But hasn’t quiet figured out that doesn’t help him become the father he wants to be.

  • @thedhanirose
    @thedhanirose 14 days ago +97

    This series is beyond cathartic. I was a Piper. My grandmother was very mistreated in her youth and, I’m guessing as a coping mechanism, became a massive narcissist and perpetual victim by the time my mom was a teen. As by the time I came around, she was Barb. And even with some of the “exaggerated” aspects, my grandmother had said every single one of barbs lines at some point. She never liked my partner when I became an adult and I was finally the first one to completely cut her off when she tried to cause legal problems for him and almost cost me my children in the crossfire. I cut her off and after years were finally healing from what she did. But after I cut her off, she turned into this version of Barb. “You can’t keep my from my grandchildren.” 100% I absolutely can. They are my kids. And once I cut her off, it was like the glass shattered for a lot of the rest of the family. One by one, other people did the same because they saw how she acted and talked about me after, and how she was going to insane extremes to violate my boundary.

    • @judycroteau482
      @judycroteau482 14 days ago +3

      I admire your shiny spine! Good for you for leading by example. 🎉🙏🏻👍

  • @cherryblossom_0009
    @cherryblossom_0009 15 days ago +260

    “Egg is here?😃” bro that part got me she’s so funny😭

    • @andreanewell628
      @andreanewell628 14 days ago +31

      That’s the next thing I really want to see: Seanna and John visiting JJ, Egg, and Chickie Blue with their kids.

    • @violetskies14
      @violetskies14 14 days ago

      ​@@andreanewell628 me too. I feel like Jen could really use some support from Shawna right now and the whole thing could be so funny and cute.

    • @rosaazul4082
      @rosaazul4082 14 days ago +3

      And having the small family party Piper wanted 🧡

  • @pcc75
    @pcc75 12 days ago +15

    while barb's behaviour across this vid is completely and utterly out of line, i'm worried abt her, bc it feels like her threats aren't completely baseless anymore. she's only moving deeper into her destructive behaviour, and the more people call her out on it, the more worrying her behaviour gets

    • @supershepherd
      @supershepherd 9 days ago +1

      Barb is deep down still dealing with major postpartum depression. She felt so alone and lost after having John and just never recovered. Now she’s full of resentment and also desperate to not feel alone. Which she handles by constantly trying to make herself the center of attention. But she doesn’t realize she’s just making things worse for herself because she’s only making herself more lonely.

  • @kimberlycolors7807
    @kimberlycolors7807 15 days ago +92

    This series has helped me realize I’m like the adult “Max/Piper” of my family. I’ve never had much of a relationship with my grandparents because of how they treated their children and sons/daughters-in-laws. Growing up, grandma has always tried to kinda guilt trip me by telling me how she is sad we don’t talk/see each other (because my parents don’t invite her over a lot), but this show has helped me realize that our distanced relationship is not really the result of my actions- it’s the result of her treatment towards her kids before I was even born. And even if I’ve only experienced little bits and pieces of her toxic treatment towards me, it’s okay if I still take the stories my parents and aunts and uncles have told me of her behavior, and the knowledge of how they tried to protect me from her, and use that information to continue to keep the space between us. Thanks for this series- it’s really been therapeutic and has given me a better way to analyze my own family dynamics.

  • @loriannebaumgartner5386
    @loriannebaumgartner5386 15 days ago +127

    Not me crying in my kitchen over this family again.
    Max answering the phone. John hanging up on Barb. Shawna cancelling the party for Piper. DeeDee holding the line. Piper caring more about cake than a Barbie Dreamhouse.
    Immaculate. No notes.

    • @alexisalexis4469
      @alexisalexis4469 14 days ago

      Piper is about her cake!

    • @haileya1925
      @haileya1925 12 days ago

      Barb calling her son out of his name right before he hung up is not surprising. That probably solidified Johns reasoning for going NC. He doesn’t want his wife/children having to go through that, because if barb was there when piper said no to the dream house would she have a similar reaction in calling her ungrateful.

  • @andreanewell628
    @andreanewell628 15 days ago +308

    Oh. wow. this long version was so worth the wait.
    Glad to see all the pieces that got cut from the short versions, they explained a lot.
    I’m trying to remember (on just one viewing) what especially stuck with me. In the past, I have read through all the comments and decided where to put in my two cents. This time, I just want to feel my own responses before I see where everyone else’s reactions took them.
    Of course, I will definitely want to see what more passed between Barb and Frank. I can’t remember what exactly there was that was new, but there was something.
    Nice to get confirmation that the green haired lady brought her child. Even better that she got a glimpse of how wonderful John is. what an unexpected treat that she was one of the people who could understand the difficulty of what he is doing. I’m hoping they’ll have more conversation on the subject. The next time they run into each other at dance class.
    I would’ve liked a little more on what happened with Brennan and his mother. Her departure did seem a bit abrupt.
    Teeny’s character was very nicely developed without taking up more than could be expected from a tangential participant in the event. Her use of social management skills was extremely timely and helpful. Bless mama D for falling in line so easily to wrap up the party with minimal offense.
    This was a great way to show the potential roots of parental boundary, crossing in a relatable way. How many of us might’ve been tempted to just roll on with the party so that nobody would feel like we had treated them badly. Except the child we were trying to celebrate. Shifting gears when you have put forth so much energy to (in theory) please your child is not as easy as it sounds. This provides a script that shows how to clearly express what is happening and make the necessary adjustments while acknowledging the challenge that will be for the parents of other attendees.
    The whole monologue with Barb writing a letter to “Charlotte“ was so well done. I can see how deep Shawna has dug into that character and really empathized with even the most mawkish self- pity. As inexcusable as most of her actions have been throughout the series, one can still feel for the painful corner into which Barb has painted herself.
    It was looking for a few precious moments, as if Barb might take the high ground and have the gift delivered. Unfortunately, she clearly is not there yet. Fortunately, mama D’s calm and compassionate intervention, prevented the scene from getting too terribly ugly.
    Something about the similarity between Piper’s inarticulate distress about the party, and Barb‘s sulky misery when she wrote her letter to Charlotte made me feel a little bit of hope. Because Shawna knew how to figure out what Piper was trying to express. And Frank, I really believe, has a sense of what Barb needs to express.
    Frank also has enough self awareness to realize that John’s anger is not entirely misplaced. But in the meanness of John’s specific treatment of his father, I hear a little of his mother‘s voice. I can’t help wondering if some parental alienation has taken place. I’ve seen things like that before, where one parent was so angry with the other that they saturated the home environment with blame. It gets to the point where a child can only see the other parent through the ugly lenses They inherited from their caregiver, even when the child becomes an adult.
    Again, Frank sounds willing to admit to the things that he has done wrong, to have the conversations that will bring his son peace, even though his own guilt will get thoroughly exposed in the process.
    He can acknowledge his contribution to the problem. But he doesn’t need to bear the same share of blame that Barb continues to perpetuate. He wants things to get fixed, and he is willing to do the work. Even if he himself doesn’t quite know how, yet.
    And he is also willing to let his son go if that’s what John needs.
    The part where John admits that he is “pretty damaged” is beautiful. I wonder if he heard the echoes of Barb‘s voice in his own bitterness towards Frank. His tendency to avoid difficult conversations and his tendency to blow up in anger were both traits that John came by honestly, and the introduction of those patterns to his life are not his doing. But I don’t see how he can heal unless he acknowledges that they aren’t healthy responses, and finds understanding and a better way forward.
    Still, I think it was wise of Shawna to affirm all that’s wonderful in him so that he doesn’t lose hope.
    I am remembering how mama D’s compassionate perception of both Barb and Frank made last Thanksgiving so much better than it would’ve been otherwise. I wonder if she could hear the cry for help that Barb knew only one way to express before she left. I wonder if Delores might be able to get more information out of Frank that might help start the much needed conversations.
    As usual, this was a powerfully written and performed effort, and it gives plenty of food for thought as to potential next steps in this family drama. If I was writing it, I would have Dolores bring the dream house back to Barb and offer to help her set it up for some future time when one or more of her granddaughters or grandsons might get some pleasure from it. To help give her hope that, if she puts in the effort, a reconciliation might be possible someday.
    I doubt that Barb would take her up on it.
    But it would be a beautiful way to express the desire for peace, and to do what can be done to promote it without crossing boundaries.

    • @user-chrislest
      @user-chrislest 14 days ago +10

      I love seeing the whole series together! I watch all the time but realize I have missed some of the segments! Big thank you for putting this together!!!

    • @juliannacolombo5584
      @juliannacolombo5584 14 days ago +13

      I am going to scroll back up and read your whole comment but wanted to say two things first real quick!
      I did the same...I didn't look at any comments until I watched it through first!
      Second..I love a long comment leaver!lol I do the same from time to time. I really appreciate you using paragraphs and spacing. Makes the read more pleasant. ❤

    • @juliannacolombo5584
      @juliannacolombo5584 14 days ago +13

      I,too, am glad that John could potentially have a parent friend who understands his experience with his parents. I hope nothing...awkward happens.
      I also thought something seemed up with the departure with Brennan! I don't think it would be included if it isn't going to be circled back to.
      I have gotten one of my cousins in on watching this series. She has kiddos (I do not). She admitted she would feel highly awkward sending such a large group away after inviting them. She then told me I would be her Teeny in that regard which warmed my heart. I might not have parenting advice or expertise but I do try to be of service none the less. ❤
      The character development is top tier. I love how we are all able to discuss so many different topics in the comments.
      This is some of the best "television" scripting I have seen as of late. Not that I watch traditional TV much anymore.
      I enjoyed reading your input. Happy Watching ❤ and Happy Fourth🎉 (if that doesn't apply I still wish you a healthy happy weekend! )

    • @blondiechrissy
      @blondiechrissy 14 days ago +5

      This was very insightful and well written. Thanks for your thoughts

    • @humanbean4037
      @humanbean4037 14 days ago

      It is funny that a three year old communicates her feelings and is less hurtful than an old woman. I don’t think anyone needs to understand barb, because barb will not change her behaviors no matter how much her struggles are understood. It would be interesting if they knew her whole story, but if they did it would be easier for her to manipulate them and she will not stop trying. People like her are just too relentless and need to hit rock bottom before they decide to start healing, and even then they might not. It would be better to get a restraining order against her and be banished from their lives forever

  • @blackrose3059
    @blackrose3059 12 days ago +9

    To be that person, anyone else notice how Shawna interrupted Ty when he offered to shut down the party for then get Teeny to do it? And then she wanted Ty to leave afterwards. Also, I wonder if the green haired mom will become John’s version of Ty.

  • @Rainebz
    @Rainebz 15 days ago +119

    11:44 Barb she's 3 she can't read!

    • @tezzcan1
      @tezzcan1 15 days ago +3

      Probably just as well.

    • @catmac08
      @catmac08 15 days ago +24

      And in typical narcissistic way, Barb made the card all about her feelings and didn’t even say happy birthday Piper. Barb just mentioned that it was her birthday.

    • @moxiegraphix
      @moxiegraphix 15 days ago +22

      That letter isn't actually for Piper. It's for John.

    • @Rainebz
      @Rainebz 15 days ago +2

      ​@@moxiegraphixyou don't say 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @KaylaNatalie
      @KaylaNatalie 14 days ago +3

      But Shawna and John can… that’s why she wrote it..

  • @tonisams6934
    @tonisams6934 15 days ago +185

    John said “congratulations, which hole?!” Lmaooooo I fucking died. That’s literally the funniest shit I’ve ever seen 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @shel1183
      @shel1183 15 days ago

      I almost had to pause at that to collect myself. 🤣

    • @99pc9
      @99pc9 15 days ago +1

      i don't get it. Could you please explain?

    • @thereseb85
      @thereseb85 14 days ago +1

      I also don't get it... I am guessing sexaversary? If that's a thing 😅

  • @laurelsamuelson3764
    @laurelsamuelson3764 14 days ago +67

    I really really love that they learned to recognize Piper’s needs and preferences and adjusted accordingly. I love that when they recognized that she was overstimulated they chose to protect her instead of trying to convince her of what she should or should not be feeling towards things that are conventionally fun for other kids. I love that she is allowed to be a weird, hyperfixated little bean with bug-empathy and dinosaur-justice and that John and Shawna are trying their best to understand and protect her

    • @reginaodell3035
      @reginaodell3035 13 days ago +3

      While also enforcing limits. When she took Max's dionsaur her feelings could not infringe on Max's.

  • @maureenhoward2155
    @maureenhoward2155 14 days ago +2

    I had to watch the videos of Piper's bday multiple times to catch all the subtle nuances! Wow - what an amazing actress, writer, editor and everything else that goes into these videos! Great job Shawna! I really felt bad for Frank - he's getting caught in the middle - danged if he does, danged if he doesn't! Momma D - spot on for not falling into Barb's trap! Yay to Piper for putting everything into perspective - CAKE!!!

  • @nadiaideozu3806
    @nadiaideozu3806 15 days ago +65

    This was so good. And tbh I love Frank so much, but I am glad he’s not off the hook for how he enables and excuses Barb, OR for how his avoidance and lack of support for Young Barb contributed to her maladaptive behaviors. I’m really hoping to see some growth and accountability for him ♥️

  • @FrabbyCrabsis
    @FrabbyCrabsis 15 days ago +223

    I just wanna say thank you Shawna - Piper reminds me of me when I was a little girl with undiagnosed autism. I only did what I was interested in, spoke my feelings bluntly, and HATED parties - every birthday party ended with me in tears. I won't say that I was unsupported - my Mum didn't understand exactly how I felt but she did her best to respect it - but it's still so incredibly validating to see Piper's family accept her exactly as she is and not force her into situations she's uncomfortable with. Thank you so much ❤

    • @bleuonyx
      @bleuonyx 15 days ago

      I was about to ask if I was the only one who though she might be autistic 😊😊😊

    • @justatinyhalfling
      @justatinyhalfling 15 days ago +10

      Same here, I love this little girl so much. It is healing to see her live authentically. 🥰

    • @jensenhammer
      @jensenhammer 15 days ago +7

      Yes!! The entire time I was watching I kept thinking that piper reminds me of my autistic 3 year old so much!

    • @mindofme_
      @mindofme_ 15 days ago +8

      This is exactly what I would have needed at this age. Not my mother physically dragging me out of the house to be with the other kids. And when I was a depressed teenager not her holding it over my head like it was my fault

    • @Macy-ft5ge
      @Macy-ft5ge 15 days ago +5

      I was thinking the same thing! God bless Teeny and Shawna for being great advocates.

  • @PaigesMagicalArtist
    @PaigesMagicalArtist 15 days ago +113

    From a child who was raised by a mother like barb. I sit here bawling with gratitude, believe it or not, that not all children are raised like I was. And a prime example of how to deal with a manipulative lying conniving.
    Misunderstanding love kind of mother. Thank you for the hope that the world does have a chance. Thank you

    • @janb.9046
      @janb.9046 15 days ago +2

      I get so much from Shawna's videos. I have a mother similar to Barb. She hated my father because he left and I feel she takes it out on me. She remarried and my sister cld do no wrong to this day. Mom kicked that drunkass man out and is on marriage 3. My stepdad is a great man but at age 15 damage was done. But he always and still does defend me. In my 60s now and still being told to respect mom becuz she's old. Nah, she was always awful to me therefore doesnt deserve my respect. It must be earned. I feel for u, my dear.

  • @nixie_moon
    @nixie_moon 13 days ago +8

    Its insane how barb gives all the grandchildren the names she wants, their real names giving by their parents not ever crossing her mind.

    • @supershepherd
      @supershepherd 8 days ago

      Because she’s desperate for control. She thinks she’s owed that.

  • @alejandraasfour
    @alejandraasfour 15 days ago +126

    I think this storyline is my fav so far. Thank you for having John being mad at his dad, for having Shawna removed herself from being so close to Ty, thank you for having mamaD put Barb in her place…. Ughhhh this was SO GOOD!!!!!

    • @greenheron1567
      @greenheron1567 14 days ago

      I felt the opposite from this skit, Shawna got too close to Ty! Offered to let him strip naked and shower and give him some of John‘s clothes, like WTF?! Absolutely not!

    • @pigalottafattenton5003
      @pigalottafattenton5003 14 days ago +1

      John only lashed out at his dad because Barb kept calling and he was mad about talking to her. Frank was invited and John was good with him being there.

    • @aboutashow
      @aboutashow 14 days ago +3

      ​@pigalottafattenton5003 No, it's because he was actively hurt and Frank was avoidant as always. He didn't try to comfort John or talk to him. He was visibly upset and Frank said "oh," then went on to defend his wife's behavior and said the conversation could be saved for another day. It is bad parenting no matter the age of your kid to ask them to sit in their feelings. That often leads to emotionally dysregulated kids who are taught to deal with their emotions by themselves because their emotions are "inconvenient." Frank is an enabler, and he wasn't emotionally present as a father. This is **on him.**

    • @jesiharpercardosa8144
      @jesiharpercardosa8144 14 days ago

      For real. I truly enjoyed seeing Jen’s arch through pregnancy and into new motherhood ❤ I was moved by the glimpse we got into Barb’s back story, but this has to be one of the most wholesome videos I’ve seen her put out ❤ even when things went wrong, the village came to the rescue 🛟 ❤️‍🩹 this lovely little family is doing so well 🥲

    • @pigalottafattenton5003
      @pigalottafattenton5003 14 days ago +1

      @@aboutashowdo you really believe that a 3 year olds birthday party with a house full of guests is the time for that conversation? It is not the time or place. Frank was ambushed at the door because of Barb’s crap he had nothing to do with. John chose to talk to Barb instead of hanging up the phone and blocking her number to enjoy his day. Why does he get to take his anger and emotions out on the wrong person?