Update of some of what happened in my 4 month absence 👣
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- I forgot SO much that happened 😂 but this is some 🥰
#actuallyautistic #anorexiarecovery #autism #autismawareness #dayinthelife #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #inpatient #recovery #recoveryispossible
i was actually so worried about you, so i’m so glad to here from you!! You can do it fi, we’re so proud of you and thank you for sharing xx🫶🏼🫶🏼
Your explanation in response to the comment was great! Eating disorder recovery is a lengthy and ongoing process, even when you're doing "well".
Fi!!! Your light is back!! You speak more confidently. You hold yourself differently. I have never been so proud of someone I’ve never met. You may still have more work, but maaaaaaan look at the road you’ve traveled! You do all the hard things!!!!!
So glad to hear from you! I am so proud of how far you have come and I am rooting for you!!!
Yes absolutely - the body may be healing, but it won't continue to heal or thrive in the long run without the mind being more healed too. You are doing amazingly Fi! And by the way - love those nails. :) Keep fighting warrior. xox
Grateful to see you. What makes me happy to see is you are not allowing a set back to shake you. Injuries can topple anyone so keep doing the next right thing. ❤
Please try to not apologise for everything. You are so strong, eloquent, insightful and beautiful and I'm so pleased to hear that the setback was a temporary blip and you haven't let it get hold of you. In fact you seem to have come out stronger then ever ❤
Hi Fi,great to see you. As someone who has been there several times, I do understand that this part of recovery is VERY challenging. There are alot of things about yourself and your relationships that come up that simply haven't had space.Your ed is a deadly camouflage and takes all your energy when it's at it's worst.Eventually life gets better Fi.Even the self compassion. Be a little kinder to yourself precious 💓💓
You’re doing amazing. Like you, I still have an interesting relationship with exercise, but maybe once I fully accept all of me and have an official autism diagnosis I might be able to understand the difference between fear foods and sensory issues and stimming vs an exercise addiction. I really appreciate how open you are and how you addressed that person’s comment. I find it hard when family members don’t understand that while I’m physically recovered my brain has some catching up to do and that unprocessed trauma doesn’t go away on its own which means that my eating disorder won’t go away on its own. Keep going and keep being you Fi because you’re amazing.
Dear Fi,
I am so happy to see you again! Though I am glad you took some time to take care of yourself.
Hearing what you are going through recently makes me feel sad. I am so sorry. But it also sounds like you have done a lot of growing mentality!
I can understand the feeling of your body letting you down. I recently got to the place in my recovery where I could do some gentle movement. But I ended up re-injuring my lower back that I hurt years ago. And then, when it healed, injuring it again. I felt that no matter what I did I messed up. And the body I am working so hard to heal, just kept letting me down.
But despite how hard it was and how sad and disappointed I felt, I knew I had to keep going.
I learned that just as I would be gentle and kind to others recovering, I had to do the same with myself. I had hurt my body for so long, and jumping into movement, though it was carefully monitored by my treatment team, it showed me how much my body had suffered from my ED. I realized that I couldn’t expect my body to do everything the way I used to immediately. I had to take it slow, be gentle with my body and mind, and work on listening to when my body needed a rest or when it started to think of movement in a negative way.
I am still growing and learning about gentle ways to move my body. And I’m still recovering from my back injury. And I still get negative thoughts about movement. But with the help from my family and my treatment team, I am learning from my mistakes. And I know I will continue to make mistakes. But what matters is what I do when that happens.
Thank you for being real and open with us Fi. That took a lot of courage. But you are strong. Please try to remember that. I am so proud of you!
Remember: You are Beautiful. You are Worthy. You are Enough. 💗
I’m so happy to see your shinning face! Keep your fire burning stay passionate for yourself Recovery is one day at a time in your time I miss seeing you as much and I’m thankful every time I do see you. You make my heart smile I am so proud of you I’m so thankful for you and I’m so happy for you! I know you have obstacles to overcome still. Please know those of us that love you realize that and we’re here for you always. Digging into the underside of the iceberg is hard and it hurts in an all honesty it sucks. But as you plug away at the layers you’ll feel better, we’re here for that too! I’m proud of you Fi! Sending you prayers healing vibes bright blessings and so much love💜💜 P.S. Loving the new Tatoo
I totally understand the frustration of feeling “ cheated” somewhat when you feel like you are being good to your body and it’s “ betraying “ you. And I also understand the breakdown of a routine. I had a virus in 2012 and I got quite ill. I was very sick but being sick made me respect my body and I found myself trying harder to be positive and I really thought that this illness which ended up with severe nerve damage and pain was my motivation to realize that I wanted to enjoy my life.
It made me see new priorities. Unfortunately for me, the nerve pain which made me want to change my outlook and expectations never went away. I just passed the 10th anniversary of the pain disorder. I do feel angry and depressed.
Dear Fi, the point of my story is to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so articulate and I don’t know if you were always this way and we could not see it in your early videos. Whether you can fully see it or not m you are radiant, you are in such a healthy place and still cognizant that you have a little more you need to do.
Try not to be upset with your injury - maybe it occurred to make you stop and reflect and deal with everything you shared in this video with us. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and in the past maybe you would not have been able to learn from the experience or talk about your feelings with your team.
You show us so much growth and even if you are not 100% where you want to be congratulate yourself because you have come so far in such a short time ( relatively). I say Bravo to you!
Abby
Youre 100% right about your feelings with your appointments still being very scary. im always afraid of things no matter if i have a good day or bad. My mental energy has been working in overdrive! People seem to feel that you should just eat something and you will feel better. In my case I disagree. Some comments can be taken harder than others. It can be very hard.
So lovely to see/hear from you and that hopefully the hardest parts are over. We have to work through the storms before the rainbow 🌈. 💪🏻👍🏻👏🫶🏻🫶🏻
glad see you smiling♥
So happy to see you again. I've been very concerned. You look well. Keep taking good care of yourself
Great to see you back. I applaud your honesty. You’ve come such a long way. You’ll get to where you want to be, I’m sure xx
Thank you for this update dear one! It is good to see even in a bit of a frustration you are still moving forward. Good for you! I'm so proud of you and still praying for you. Bless you dear one, keep moving forward.
So pleased to see you.
You will get through everything of that I am sure, we are all here to support you anyway we can 🥰
Loving the new tattoo too 🥰
Omg I was really worried about u and I am so glad you have posted.❤
You're amazing Fi and so inspiring! Keep going girl❤ we're all behind you in this. Sending so much love xx
Great to see your new video. Thanks very much for sharing about your autism diagnosis. I am 55 years old and was assessed as autistic last year. I've watched lots of your videos and hadn't heard you speak about autism. Looking forward to your next video.
You look like you have so much energy it’s such a huge change wow I’m super impressed!!
You are such a beautiful and strong woman! I wish more people were as open as you are! You are amazing! Keep going xxx❤
One thing I know about you just from what you’ve shared online is that, even while you’re digging into this more difficult stuff that you haven’t really had a chance to get to you before, you will keep on going, and you will persevere and come through the other side, because you are one of the strongest fighters I have ever seen. I know it can be really hard to deal with some of that stuff that we either weren’t aware of before, or were able to numb out by the eating disorder, and then avoid dealing with because the ED takes precedence, But I’m really proud of you for continuing to do the work that you’ve been needing to do for your life and, like you said, so you can get to that place where you can say you recovered, period. thanks for taking time to get this update, and I’ll keep my eyes out for the next video you mentioned is coming, but always remember your health is top priority, and I’m sure I speak for most, if not all, people here when I say we want you to first and foremost make sure you’re doing whatever you need to do to take care of you. We are not going anywhere.💕
Hi Fi ! So happy to see you sweetie 💗...You have had some tough times as of late, But you are a warrior and you've got this ! Sending so much love your way !
Hi Fi!! Was worried about you. You look great,no need to worry! I dont put makeup on either. Im so glad to see you!!!! Missed you a lot. Im struggling lately,and Im tending to feel as though I should move more too. I guess its all part of the cycle. Ill look forward to seeing you again soon I hope. Thank you for this video! Lots of Love,loren
So, first off your shirt is awesome! Secondly, you’re killin’ it girl. You seem so much more introspective and insightful than I’ve seen you previously. I am so proud of you. Hearing your update makes my heart happy.
Btws- is that a new tattoo?!
Wow as some one with a eating disorder going through treatment in a very similar spot to you fi that comment really shocks me too... You explained it so well though for people to hopefully understand to educate people so thankyou. X
Fi! You did a great job explaining yourself. Do you feel like making this RUclips channel is part of therapy as well? And you’re doing the hard work! Keep going
Great to see you doing so well, you are looking amazing, congratulations on getting this far, we all have bumps in the road, don’t think it’s only you.
You are strong and you are the boss of you.
Looking forward to hearing your story when you are ready.
Big hugs and support 🤗🤗🤗
Love your videos Fi, your a fantastic girl, big heart! You explain yourself well, as someone recovering myself, you inspire me ❤ x
Lovely to see you as always Fi!
And no need to apologise for how you look. I love to see your glowing face, shining eyes and your smile. All things that say you’re in a much better place.
I haven’t experienced an eating disorder and enjoy increasing my understanding through your videos, so things I have wondered about that i’d love to hear more about are:
When you started your meal plans and changed them up/increased them, how did that happen? Was it driven by the foods you felt more comfortable incorporating or was it driven by nutritional benefit/calories? Or was it a mixture? Would love to hear more about that please.
I would also like to understand from your perspective of how your eating disorder evolved. I’ve read article that talk about restricting eating being a way of having some control over your environment when everything else seems so out of control. Was that the case for you or it more complex that?
Hope my questions don’t come across as intrusive, and obvs don’t talk about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
I’m very proud of you love! I’m sending you love❤ your glowing!
I'm chronically ill (ehlers-danlos syndrome) and in anorexia recovery, and it's been a lot for me trying to recover knowing that my body 'doing things for me' isn't necessarily going to be an aspect of my recovery. learning gently that I need to respect and fuel my body regardless of what it can and can't do for me. so I definitely relate to the frustration of getting your body to a healthier place nutrition wise and still having to deal with a body that malfunctions
So glad to see you again bless you it’s difficult at times but your looking lovely
I actually quite enjoy less planned Fi chats!!! And please stop apologizing for how you look and your absence and all the other things. You are beautiful and you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. I am just glad to know that you are doing ok despite some challenges
Hi Fi, I was just checking to see if you've uploaded a video recently as I wondering how you're getting on. I do hope you are alright xx
Autumn Autumn coming ..colors wind ..
So glad to hear from you!
HI Fi! It's so lovely to see you! Ive been wondering how you were. I love you t-shirt, by the way x
You don't owe explanations to any comments. Feel free to let go of worry that eveyone isn't understanding your journey and intentions. Your amazing just the way you are. Continue to transform and fly butterfly.
I love how you are totally real about stuff, appreciate the honest update, but seriously, your tshirt is awesome, where is it from ? How are the dogs, will you always have dogs do u think? same breed ? these are my qu's
u look so beautiful!!❤❤
Fi, you absolutely do not have to but I'm wondering if you would ever consider how talking about how your ED treatment was modified in relation to being Autistic? Not sure if that is ok to ask, Autistic too and not sure if that is ok or over the line. Thank you so much for the latest update, you are awesome. x
Hiya sweetheart so lovely to see you☺️☺️☺️
I’m looking forward to seeing your next video
Oh how did you manage to hurt your tendon? Sounds very painful sending love to you ❤❤❤
Life: it’s what happens when you’re making other plans. There are all kinds of speed bumps, hurdles, road blocks, losses. It’s shocking. Nothing prepares us for them. But they are inevitable.
OK I do have a specific question, but ignore it if it's too sensitive - are you near your goal physically speaking? Which means you can then focus on your mind/therapy for mental wellbeing?
You are beautiful 🌻
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I am wondering if the person may have commented that they didn’t understand why the appointment for so hard because you don’t usually explain what was hard about them so maybe they think you’re just going in there telling how your week was and that’s the end of it?? They may not have any idea of what goes on in those appointments and what is hard about them. I know where I live. Our outpatient appointments at the hospital. Definitely sound very different than yours. So it could be a legitimate question without meaning to be mean or anything
I agree with this. In the kindest way possible, I am American and have no idea what goes on in Fi's appointments. I don't need to know, so I won't ask, but I think it would help us international subscribers maybe understand better.
❤.
Congratulations Fi you’re doing very well, you’ve come on so much it’s been lovely watching you bloom. I am curious about the nutritional value in the food that’s eaten, I’m sure you’re working closely with your team at the hospital, there’s a lot of processed foods and high sugar content foods, I appreciate it’s the calories but I can’t help but think it’s not very nutritionally dense… just my thoughts, xx
just noticed u got a tattooo
This person obviously doesn't understand how eating disorders work. And obviously doesn't understand how autism effects a person's ability to process emotions. Also, emotions and feeling are normal. You had an eating disorder and like other addictions it's to numb emotions. And feeling is hard.
Maybe your recovery is simply taking you in a different direction than vlogging?
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