Newbie here, but maybe when you are just getting down the bare bones in your first draft, don't worry about being on the nose. Then go back and translate it into actions, subtext, etc.
“I’ve been falling for thirty minutes!” - Loki “A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” - Gandalf the Grey “There are two kinds of people in this world - those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” - The Man With No Name (called Blondie by Tuco)
The problem is that one-liners aren't much better than clever quips in the moment... In that moment, they can seem like genius, but they often just turn meme-worthy and get referenced or repeated to death... and it's too often such a short trip from that "momentary genius" to "death" for them to have been as brilliant as they seemed originally... Currently, the PIECE of dialogue that lingers is from "Heartbreak Ridge"... Probably from sitting through it as background noise today, while I found a new workflow routine that doesn't help me with Blender... (ah... but I digress as usual)... SO the scene is in the bar, where Highway (Eastwood) is chatting with the proprietor (presumably owner?) who's an obvious old acquaintance and a genuinely "saucy ol' gal"... They've turned toward convo' about Highway's Ex'... "her"... Proprietor : So... You gonna go see her? Highway : Hell no... Can I run a tab on this [holds up his mug of beer] Proprietor : Hell no... [smirking] ...and as you probably CAN guess from context so far... THE VERY NEXT SCENE is a confrontation with "her"... the first thing Highway does after speaking to his old friend at his old hangout... OBVIOUSLY... SO I'm not going to reference this under the guise that it's even my favorite movie... It's a good movie to go to... especially if you want to start to pick up on some of the older school nuances in this subject... This is just a solid reference for that precious subtext... Obviously, "Hell no" meant the opposite when Eastwood said it... It was being thrown back at him by the Proprietor/buddy, BUT also carried the sense of "You're a damn liar, and we both know it"... We don't need a lot of poetic sense or sensibility when making subtext... We NEED (as writers) to know what we want communicated, not just to the audience but between the characters based on THEIR relationships, too... SO I often write dialogue "the first time through" very much on the nose... It's through refinement as I've figured out the relationships, the "in-jokes" and how the characters create and build on their interactions with each other to make up the subtext, both between the characters as they interact, AND from them to the audience who is watching... Casually, "Supernatural" is a GREAT TV show for catching subtext. For one thing, Sam and Dean are hunting monsters that the general public doesn't believe in. They deal with magic and hoo-doo and all manners of insanity... and they CAN NOT just bring it to the authorities, unless they want straight jackets and padded cells... SO they're FORCED largely to speak in codes, subtext, and innuendo... It's relatively simple, so you can largely follow everything, and there's just enough "on the nose" to keep you on your figurative toes... AND for all it's flaws, the show NEVER took itself too seriously, so you don't really have to either... ;o)
The only time I saw on the nose dialogue work was in Bojack Horseman, and it worked because even though the characters speak their minds, they are often missing certain insights to understand their own layers. But the audience does understand, which is what makes the dialogue so fascinating.
Makes me cringe so much when I read back the parts of my dialogue that are like, "Hey, let's get the thing and go to the place and stop that event from happening!"
Initially I thought Shannan was a little too much, although she has made many great insights in many previous videos. But now she just says " I am a little forward". Suddenly I like her very much. Now I get her (of cause I dont know her), but now I just see that she is different from me by being much more forward. Interesting dialogue!
Nothing inherently wrong with on the nose dialogue. Especially when two or more people are arguing aggressively. Pretense tends to go out of the window.
I also heard "on the nose" dialogue could work when the nose is made to be interesting or in other words if whats going on is something exciting and out of the ordinary as opposed to something mundane and common place then on the nose dialogue could actually still work.
in real life subtext dialogue is the allen iverson "we talkin bout practice" press conference. he was going through something at the time personal and only he knew it and close friends.
when something's too on-the-nose, not just dialog either, is when someone says or does something, or it takes place in a setting so obvious that it makes the rest of the movie hard or pointless to watch because it points out what the entire message of the movie is... or it's being too blunt, and that's uninteresting, and can even turn people right off wanting to watch the rest of the show.
Star Trek and 24 rarely shied away from industrial strength on-the-nose-dialogue. This could have been rectified with edits, but it would have changed the tone of the shows, which may have reduced their appeal. The Unit, for example, even with David Mamet at the helm, wasn't up to much :-) The problem is the dialogue, of the on-the-nose-kind, that has characters directly telling each other what they know already, as a direct way to perform the function of exposition..
Well, here'z the problem: _bleah._ As an audience member, _I don't want_ the long, rambling anecdote full of subtext. As an audience member, I feel that's a _complete_ waste of my time and a complete waste _of the movie's time_ when there is _plot_ that needs moving forward. 1 - I usually know _exactly_ where the anecdote is going already 2 - It usually takes about 3x longer to get there than it needs to 3 - The anecdote usually follows the same pattern as _every other_ movie anecdote, and ends up being trite instead of clever 4 - By the time it's (finally!) over, I'm irritated and grumpy because _I genuinely didn't give a damn in the first place,_ and only wanted _the story_ to move forward It's like a musical number: maybe someone might find it beautiful, but it's really just a speed bump I have to endure until the story starts back up again. That's why, during the long, rambling anecdote in my last piece, I had the characters _doing other things, too,_ in order to keep the audience interested if the anecdote didn't grab them. The plot continued to move forward _while they were chatting_ about something (at best) peripherally related (and which was all about character stuff rather than the plot). It's like how every scrap of violence is there to serve the plot rather than just being a fight scene and nothing more; that was on purpose, too, because I hate sitting through fight scenes where the characters get martial-artsy on each other for five minutes without really hurting each other or advancing the plot. That's as boring as a musical number or a rambling character moment. I shouldn't be shouting, _"GET ON WITH IT!!!"_ at the screen, but these moments of character drama...? _Boooorrrrring._ You want me to get invested in who your characters are...? Show me who they are through what they _do,_ not what they _say._
![15 Tips For Writing Better Dialogue [MASTERCLASS]](/img/1.gif)
Here is our full interview with Shannan - ruclips.net/video/EUd5hZL62MA/видео.html
Shannan is hand's down the most expressive and engaging guest in this series.
She is brilliant. Love every upload I've seen with Shannan.
This is the best explanation of “on the nose” dialogue I’ve seen - thanks so much for sharing
Glad it was helpful!
Man, this guest is terrific.
Agreed!
She's the best of all!!!
We need a Shannan fan club ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
This lady is so intelligent, and very beautiful
I love Shannan. Very knowledgeable.
Newbie here, but maybe when you are just getting down the bare bones in your first draft, don't worry about being on the nose. Then go back and translate it into actions, subtext, etc.
What is your favorite line of dialogue? Eg., "You had me at hello." "Yo, Adrian!" "My precious."
"It was as if a scene from a dream. Nothing more, nothing less than a beautiful view." - Kimi no Na wa.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
“I’ve been falling for thirty minutes!” - Loki
“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” - Gandalf the Grey
“There are two kinds of people in this world - those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” - The Man With No Name (called Blondie by Tuco)
A census taker once tried to test me... I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
The problem is that one-liners aren't much better than clever quips in the moment... In that moment, they can seem like genius, but they often just turn meme-worthy and get referenced or repeated to death... and it's too often such a short trip from that "momentary genius" to "death" for them to have been as brilliant as they seemed originally...
Currently, the PIECE of dialogue that lingers is from "Heartbreak Ridge"... Probably from sitting through it as background noise today, while I found a new workflow routine that doesn't help me with Blender... (ah... but I digress as usual)...
SO the scene is in the bar, where Highway (Eastwood) is chatting with the proprietor (presumably owner?) who's an obvious old acquaintance and a genuinely "saucy ol' gal"... They've turned toward convo' about Highway's Ex'... "her"...
Proprietor : So... You gonna go see her?
Highway : Hell no... Can I run a tab on this [holds up his mug of beer]
Proprietor : Hell no... [smirking]
...and as you probably CAN guess from context so far... THE VERY NEXT SCENE is a confrontation with "her"... the first thing Highway does after speaking to his old friend at his old hangout... OBVIOUSLY...
SO I'm not going to reference this under the guise that it's even my favorite movie... It's a good movie to go to... especially if you want to start to pick up on some of the older school nuances in this subject... This is just a solid reference for that precious subtext... Obviously, "Hell no" meant the opposite when Eastwood said it... It was being thrown back at him by the Proprietor/buddy, BUT also carried the sense of "You're a damn liar, and we both know it"...
We don't need a lot of poetic sense or sensibility when making subtext... We NEED (as writers) to know what we want communicated, not just to the audience but between the characters based on THEIR relationships, too... SO I often write dialogue "the first time through" very much on the nose... It's through refinement as I've figured out the relationships, the "in-jokes" and how the characters create and build on their interactions with each other to make up the subtext, both between the characters as they interact, AND from them to the audience who is watching...
Casually, "Supernatural" is a GREAT TV show for catching subtext. For one thing, Sam and Dean are hunting monsters that the general public doesn't believe in. They deal with magic and hoo-doo and all manners of insanity... and they CAN NOT just bring it to the authorities, unless they want straight jackets and padded cells... SO they're FORCED largely to speak in codes, subtext, and innuendo... It's relatively simple, so you can largely follow everything, and there's just enough "on the nose" to keep you on your figurative toes... AND for all it's flaws, the show NEVER took itself too seriously, so you don't really have to either... ;o)
love Shannan
This woman is fantastic! So sharp, knowledgeable, and consice!
Great speaker
Excellent content! I felt like I was in class! ❤ Excellent 1:29
Brilliant video!
The only time I saw on the nose dialogue work was in Bojack Horseman, and it worked because even though the characters speak their minds, they are often missing certain insights to understand their own layers. But the audience does understand, which is what makes the dialogue so fascinating.
Concise and extremely informative
Thanks for watching Frank!
Excellent!
I find that some lines don't always work when I read material out loud. That helps me immensely for rewriting my stand-up comedy material.
Very useful stuff, thanks!!
Great video as always. 🔥
Shannan is excellent!
She's great!
2:35 The movie is “Concrete Cowboy”.
Reading it out loud; I've done that, even before sending an important email. Saved myself from serious embarrassment😅
Great notes.
Makes me cringe so much when I read back the parts of my dialogue that are like, "Hey, let's get the thing and go to the place and stop that event from happening!"
Wow! very impressive video thanks,
New dialogue video coming this week!
Initially I thought Shannan was a little too much, although she has made many great insights in many previous videos. But now she just says " I am a little forward". Suddenly I like her very much. Now I get her (of cause I dont know her), but now I just see that she is different from me by being much more forward. Interesting dialogue!
The comment you've made reeks of racism, sexism, and small energy bravo.
@@bobdhshshxhzvs2314 you probably think so because these issues are prevalent where you live. Try to get past it. 😐
@@larslarsen5414 nope, this is an isolated issue concerning just you and yourself.
She's the best
Nothing inherently wrong with on the nose dialogue. Especially when two or more people are arguing aggressively. Pretense tends to go out of the window.
it’s much more hard to stomach when its exposition
I also heard "on the nose" dialogue could work when the nose is made to be interesting or in other words if whats going on is something exciting and out of the ordinary as opposed to something mundane and common place then on the nose dialogue could actually still work.
any examples of her work out there? Can't find anything
The more intense the emotion, the more on the nose the dialogue.
in real life subtext dialogue is the allen iverson "we talkin bout practice" press conference. he was going through something at the time personal and only he knew it and close friends.
Haha She is back. Congrats
Her hands too talk in line with her voice
The only guest I’ve seen that actually answered the question and not talk so flowery and filibuster me for 20 mins 😂 excellent
I find it easier to avoid on the nose dialogue when I understand the character and the scene.
this basically exposes the problem with a lot of modern adult animated sitcoms..
when something's too on-the-nose, not just dialog either, is when someone says or does something, or it takes place in a setting so obvious that it makes the rest of the movie hard or pointless to watch because it points out what the entire message of the movie is... or it's being too blunt, and that's uninteresting, and can even turn people right off wanting to watch the rest of the show.
Star Trek and 24 rarely shied away from industrial strength on-the-nose-dialogue. This could have been rectified with edits, but it would have changed the tone of the shows, which may have reduced their appeal. The Unit, for example, even with David Mamet at the helm, wasn't up to much :-) The problem is the dialogue, of the on-the-nose-kind, that has characters directly telling each other what they know already, as a direct way to perform the function of exposition..
Walter: Am I wrong?
Dude: You're not wrong. You're just an asshole!
Walter: OK, then.
Well, here'z the problem: _bleah._
As an audience member, _I don't want_ the long, rambling anecdote full of subtext.
As an audience member, I feel that's a _complete_ waste of my time and a complete waste _of the movie's time_ when there is _plot_ that needs moving forward.
1 - I usually know _exactly_ where the anecdote is going already
2 - It usually takes about 3x longer to get there than it needs to
3 - The anecdote usually follows the same pattern as _every other_ movie anecdote, and ends up being trite instead of clever
4 - By the time it's (finally!) over, I'm irritated and grumpy because _I genuinely didn't give a damn in the first place,_ and only wanted _the story_ to move forward
It's like a musical number: maybe someone might find it beautiful, but it's really just a speed bump I have to endure until the story starts back up again.
That's why, during the long, rambling anecdote in my last piece, I had the characters _doing other things, too,_ in order to keep the audience interested if the anecdote didn't grab them. The plot continued to move forward _while they were chatting_ about something (at best) peripherally related (and which was all about character stuff rather than the plot).
It's like how every scrap of violence is there to serve the plot rather than just being a fight scene and nothing more; that was on purpose, too, because I hate sitting through fight scenes where the characters get martial-artsy on each other for five minutes without really hurting each other or advancing the plot. That's as boring as a musical number or a rambling character moment. I shouldn't be shouting, _"GET ON WITH IT!!!"_ at the screen, but these moments of character drama...? _Boooorrrrring._
You want me to get invested in who your characters are...? Show me who they are through what they _do,_ not what they _say._
Agreed.
Hall & Oates 1985
👃
Perfect!
Nice, show don't tell. 😂
Another fantastic video about writing dialogue: ruclips.net/video/-AhtKvgy6MA/видео.html
You can’t have your characters state how they feel! That makes me feel angry!