trust

This is a recording I have from 2019. It was supposed to be worked on and shelved but then, well... reasons.
I remember so vividly how I practiced for almost three months to get the timing right, it would be my first time recording my own chords and still got it wrong 🤭.
I think I sat to write this about my one and only, because of the first stanza, but quickly shifted to talking about my mom.
And then there's the myriad of ways in which I've developed survival mechanisms throughout my life. It has served me well, but it has also destroyed me in more ways than one.
I don't know, I've been very sick for the past couple days, I had injections yesterday and feel so dizzy but I need to keep purging.
Also, I'm sorry for my voice, I'm just really not an artist. I just write lyrics and melodies. I'm not even a musician. I hope you can forgive the crappiness of all this, but it's necessary for me to leave these up in here.
__
Blinding light was love's worst crime
For I fell fast
Like religion in the night
The despair for you to open your eyes
Drowned me out
You shot a bullet in my back
was way to soft but left a scar
Didn't care at the time
But left me unable to trust
Trained my brain with time at hand
To bid farewell
I fed me lies and tricked my eyes
To see emptiness
The walls I built around served me well

[@catedoge3206]

Real.