I have Leo sun 9th house inconjunct Capricorn chiron 2nd house 0.03 degrees. So very hard aspect. I wonder what this means? Wound in success, business and enterprice. If capricorn really is public image so it might explain that at some point of my life I just decided not to do anything too weird or be too much of myself since it may lead me to isolation or somehting. Hard to understand but I have this feeling about it. This is why I base or have been basing my life around 99% of trying to understand what others think and 1% being myself because I just feel that I won't be accepted unless I first understand what others think about me or when I arrive to the same wavelenght as them. It is like I have to arrive to the same wavelenght box where other people are, and it requires tremendous Leo 9th house observation in order to realise what does the social box of convention look like but hard stuff is that it seems like the box can change over time so I even need to adapt my imprisoned behavior even more but at the end of day, socialization is just having fun, it is not that deep. This endless conflict has been in me since the age of 14 or something. Earlies memories stem back from me being 4 years old. Either I try to be more like me or I say that it is reasonable to think what other people are thinking. It is very essential thing in life. Becoming a complete fool like some of these new agers have become at least on outside isn't right, that just isolates your mind from what is it that is relevant to do.
Fear of abandonment is the key in this. I think it is relevant to have this fear of abandonment but maybe it just isn't? And if it isn't then that is the good substitute to this?, Do I just become completely unhinged sage who just shoots truths to every person I meet. And I know self expression is important but my form of self expression (Leo in 9th house conjunct Jupiter in 8th, Conjunct Mars in 9th, Conjunct Mercury in 9th) is just maybe storytelling about stuff? My current plan is just to become as whole individual as possible. One with good speech skills but one who understands everything about what other people think about so that I can add to their worldviews something unique?
And in chiron there is this side of being able to heal it too lol? I guess I just need to make a list of what other people value and then navigate in the unholy and usually ignorant terrirories so somehow trying to pull them to value something more important. I just don't know. I need to become wholer lol
I have Leo sun 9th house inconjunct Capricorn chiron 2nd house 0.03 degrees. So very hard aspect.
I wonder what this means?
Wound in success, business and enterprice.
If capricorn really is public image so it might explain that at some point of my life I just decided not to do anything too weird or be too much of myself since it may lead me to isolation or somehting. Hard to understand but I have this feeling about it. This is why I base or have been basing my life around 99% of trying to understand what others think and 1% being myself because I just feel that I won't be accepted unless I first understand what others think about me or when I arrive to the same wavelenght as them.
It is like I have to arrive to the same wavelenght box where other people are, and it requires tremendous Leo 9th house observation in order to realise what does the social box of convention look like but hard stuff is that it seems like the box can change over time so I even need to adapt my imprisoned behavior even more but at the end of day, socialization is just having fun, it is not that deep.
This endless conflict has been in me since the age of 14 or something. Earlies memories stem back from me being 4 years old.
Either I try to be more like me or I say that it is reasonable to think what other people are thinking. It is very essential thing in life. Becoming a complete fool like some of these new agers have become at least on outside isn't right, that just isolates your mind from what is it that is relevant to do.
Fear of abandonment is the key in this.
I think it is relevant to have this fear of abandonment but maybe it just isn't?
And if it isn't then that is the good substitute to this?,
Do I just become completely unhinged sage who just shoots truths to every person I meet. And I know self expression is important but my form of self expression (Leo in 9th house conjunct Jupiter in 8th, Conjunct Mars in 9th, Conjunct Mercury in 9th) is just maybe storytelling about stuff?
My current plan is just to become as whole individual as possible. One with good speech skills but one who understands everything about what other people think about so that I can add to their worldviews something unique?
And in chiron there is this side of being able to heal it too lol?
I guess I just need to make a list of what other people value and then navigate in the unholy and usually ignorant terrirories so somehow trying to pull them to value something more important. I just don't know. I need to become wholer lol