r/HFY TFOS# 573 - The Sol Solution by ack1308 (Hfy Sci-Fi Reddit Stories)

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  • Опубликовано: 31 дек 2024

Комментарии • 178

  • @Renegadebane
    @Renegadebane 2 года назад +94

    Command: "Total War is authorized"
    Human soldiers: *lights joint wrapped in the Geneva convention* "hail to the king, baby"

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake Год назад +11

      Human 1: "Napalm in the morning?"
      Human 2: "Napalm in the morning."
      Both Humans: "Smells like victory."

  • @Jason-sm4oc
    @Jason-sm4oc 3 года назад +136

    Human: "Diplomacy?"
    Draxian: "No diplomacy!"
    Draxian: "Why do I hear boss music?"

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +32

      brown pants time

    • @hollyferay8131
      @hollyferay8131 3 года назад +8

      Haha

    • @sans_theskeleton
      @sans_theskeleton 3 года назад +7

      I have another question, do you wanna have a bad time?

    • @danielwols
      @danielwols 2 года назад +4

      @@hollyferay8131 it has a translation to English, the translation simply stating lol

    • @CT-1035
      @CT-1035 2 года назад +2

      The negotiations were short

  • @dantreadwell7421
    @dantreadwell7421 3 года назад +88

    It's called "Agressive Negotiations". War is simply diplomacy through alternate means.

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +9

      that it is

    • @veryangryduckpl2122
      @veryangryduckpl2122 3 года назад +5

      Star wars episode 2 refference?

    • @greenrena8503
      @greenrena8503 3 года назад +4

      @@veryangryduckpl2122 Carl von Clausewitz: "On War", if I remember correctly.

    • @veryangryduckpl2122
      @veryangryduckpl2122 3 года назад +5

      @@greenrena8503 Facepalms*
      You call this diplomatic solution?
      No, these are aggresive negotiations.

  • @donaldscholand4617
    @donaldscholand4617 3 года назад +59

    Aliens: "No diplomacy!"
    Humans: "So ... you have chosen Death!"

    • @TheJMPD
      @TheJMPD Год назад +1

      They should have chosen cake.

  • @BrandonKing.
    @BrandonKing. 2 года назад +24

    There is a reason we layout Terms of War between factions. It is not to protect us from you, it is to protect You from us.

  • @StarboyXL9
    @StarboyXL9 4 года назад +101

    SOLution has SOL in it.
    There are no mistakes.

    • @Caldoric
      @Caldoric 3 года назад +4

      I was gonna say...

  • @robertbemis9800
    @robertbemis9800 3 года назад +48

    Solians say: so you like to war? Let’s teach you why war is a bad thing
    Zeno say: why did I just Defecate ?

  • @calvingreene90
    @calvingreene90 3 года назад +38

    The answer to the last question is, "Made sure it is a very long time before another aggressor fails to respond properly to a harshly written note."

  • @firatsanliturk
    @firatsanliturk Год назад +12

    If force is not solving your issues, you're not using enough of it.

  • @Sen81222
    @Sen81222 3 года назад +131

    So a dog an ape and a human walk into an office... that sounds like the start of a joke

    • @prisoner6266
      @prisoner6266 3 года назад +10

      The punchline is guaranteed to have the room explode into paroxysms of laughter

    • @robertbemis9800
      @robertbemis9800 3 года назад +3

      Why no kitty kitties?

    • @vincentvalashu
      @vincentvalashu 3 года назад +23

      @@robertbemis9800 They couldn't be arsed. Why send assassins for a pack animal meeting?

    • @Sumzja
      @Sumzja 3 года назад +10

      So we elevated dogs and apes to sapience because we wanted friends?

    • @robertbemis9800
      @robertbemis9800 3 года назад +8

      @@Sumzja yes we would

  • @Sentientcap
    @Sentientcap 3 года назад +64

    Speek softly and Carry superior fire power.

  • @darth_dan8886
    @darth_dan8886 3 года назад +106

    The four words every alien diplomat or military official will regret ever saying to a human: "By any means necessary".

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +22

      run ruuuuuuuuuuuun

    • @mr.k4918
      @mr.k4918 2 года назад +11

      we launched nuclear ramjet missiles carrying MIRVs at the enemy didnt we?
      (edit plural it wasn't just one missile we launched a few hundred)

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake Год назад +5

      @@mr.k4918 And they are lucky we didn't feel like taking the effort to load up half the final stages with bioweapons and antimatter instead of the good ol' reliable plutonium that day.

    • @mr.k4918
      @mr.k4918 Год назад +4

      @@KertaDrake i mean whats the point of bio weapons when the exaust from one missile alone is gonna spread enough fallout to contaminate half the planet?

    • @mattbrown5511
      @mattbrown5511 Год назад +1

      Unleash the Dogs of War!

  • @Velshard
    @Velshard Год назад +10

    I love that the Terran Envoy consists of Dogman, Manman, and Gorillaman.

  • @chrisdefresne3235
    @chrisdefresne3235 2 года назад +35

    Just to be sure here, ANY means necessary?
    *A few minutes of repeated confirmation later*
    Hey Hanz, get the flammenwaffer 9000. Also, charge up the BFG 10,000. The Space UN told us to do anything necessary to win.

  • @ArchonSG1
    @ArchonSG1 Год назад +16

    The Sol Delegation are missing Catgirls. You need Catgirl liasons / secretaries dammit.

    • @MournfulTyrant
      @MournfulTyrant Год назад +3

      Catssassins.

    • @garysprandel1817
      @garysprandel1817 Год назад +4

      The kitties are more comfortable with the black ops wet works stuff not so much diplomacy.
      Well diplomacy that isn't the sitting somewhere up to a mile away with a rifle, scope and spotter kind.

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Год назад +2

    Thank you for the reading

  • @Madesic
    @Madesic 3 года назад +35

    Don't normally comment but this has to be my favourite hfy story I've heard, great narration too!

  • @stalwartteakettlepotato9879
    @stalwartteakettlepotato9879 4 года назад +101

    Fun fact, "Blitzkrieg" is a made up term mostly used for propaganda purposes. The actual military term for such a doctrine is Bewegungskrieg which translates into "war of movement".

    • @N1korasu
      @N1korasu 3 года назад +20

      Lightning War sounds cooler though

    • @dantreadwell7421
      @dantreadwell7421 3 года назад +7

      Hence propaganda.

    • @angrydragonslayer
      @angrydragonslayer 3 года назад +5

      Nerd

    • @lordpfeiffer8490
      @lordpfeiffer8490 3 года назад +6

      BlitzKrieg was what the usa offical called the german war of movement. as well hitler himself refer to it as blitzkreig and acutally didn't like the older name for it which is Bewegungskrieg. Because it wasn't catchy enough. And forced his generals to use the word Blitzkrieg when dealing with him.

    • @angrydragonslayer
      @angrydragonslayer 3 года назад +6

      @@lordpfeiffer8490 NERRRRRRDDDDD

  • @neorandomizer
    @neorandomizer 2 года назад +13

    Good old gun boat diplomacy

  • @hollyferay8131
    @hollyferay8131 3 года назад +15

    Never .... EVER give cart blanc to the beings who are the masters of war to resolve a situation.

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 2 года назад +5

      Xeno leader: We........ We didn't know......... How could we have known?
      They have always been so peaceful.......
      How? How?....................
      Why didn't I ask more questions? I should have asked me questions.
      (Excerpt taken from the psychologist notes after his mental breakdown.)

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake Год назад +4

      @@Gilhelmi "How could we have known that they had been stockpiling nuclear weapons by the tens of thousands every year since they made their homeworld a radioactive wasteland, let alone design their entire military force around using them all in an alpha strike?!"

  • @budpope2790
    @budpope2790 3 года назад +21

    Off to engage in humanity's favorite psss time, blowing shit up...

  • @GuukanKitsune
    @GuukanKitsune Год назад +7

    The reason Sol Natives are so good at diplomacy, is because they are far, far, FAR better at war... and so they developed their diplomatic skills to match to avoid war by speaking first.
    Because no Sol natives WANT a war with other Sol natives. They know how terrible they are. The last big Sol Native war cost them their homeworld.

  • @Inufan2005
    @Inufan2005 3 года назад +15

    Terrans gonna Terran.

  • @sherylcascadden4988
    @sherylcascadden4988 2 года назад +5

    Diplomacy, with full phaser banks and all torpedoes loaded.

  • @warrmalaski8570
    @warrmalaski8570 3 года назад +7

    Do it our way or else. Is the very foundation of diplomacy. The or else can be military, economic, or cultural.

  • @stalwartteakettlepotato9879
    @stalwartteakettlepotato9879 4 года назад +32

    What are the 2 other teran species?
    I think one of them is an uplifted chimpanzee but what's the other one?

    • @notafrisbee5907
      @notafrisbee5907 4 года назад +16

      Dunno, but all 3 could be human. Couple hundred years of seperate development in a time when genetic engineering is advanced can change the appearances a lot.

    • @stalwartteakettlepotato9879
      @stalwartteakettlepotato9879 4 года назад +5

      @@notafrisbee5907 that's also possible

    • @shadowstalker130666
      @shadowstalker130666 4 года назад +23

      Id suspect either unlifted wolf or dog. Definately canine.

    • @spacetechempire510
      @spacetechempire510 4 года назад +8

      @@notafrisbee5907 may be. We may of uplifted the chimps and gene edit our selfs with knine dna.

    • @firstnamelastname7124
      @firstnamelastname7124 4 года назад +4

      @@spacetechempire510 so we made furrys real time to make an AI to kill all organic life so that shit doesn't happen

  • @LaughingD3mon
    @LaughingD3mon 4 года назад +22

    March on for the algorithm!

  • @badjer4328
    @badjer4328 3 года назад +15

    Man I hope we get better at diplomacy before our planet becomes a radioactive wasteland

    • @williambarnes5023
      @williambarnes5023 3 года назад +2

      I'll settle for being on Mars when it happens. There's a lot of Earth governments that need to go.

    • @mechadrake
      @mechadrake 2 года назад +1

      in 2022: welp...

  • @curiousangel6321
    @curiousangel6321 4 года назад +34

    Why in the algorithm am I still awake? 😴

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 2 года назад +2

      It has been over a year now. You should get some sleep.
      (I love dad jokes)

    • @hanzzel6086
      @hanzzel6086 Год назад +2

      ​@@GilhelmiOver 2yrs, I really hope he's had at least a nap.

    • @atathesteelcrownedqueen8070
      @atathesteelcrownedqueen8070 8 месяцев назад

      Yeah, I should be in bed too, this is three years later.

  • @calvingreene90
    @calvingreene90 3 года назад +8

    Humans make peace because we are very good at war.

  • @seamusfinnegan1164
    @seamusfinnegan1164 3 года назад +7

    So doggos, human?, not sure what the third species is.

    • @beingsneaky
      @beingsneaky 2 года назад

      Gorilla?? Chimp??

    • @johnnyrotten3175
      @johnnyrotten3175 10 месяцев назад +1

      Since it's described as larger than a human, must be a gorilla or an orangutan

  • @ianhogben3472
    @ianhogben3472 2 года назад +4

    good species do not need rules today is the day to find out why we need them

  • @josmeijers2818
    @josmeijers2818 3 года назад +12

    that was one hell of a story ! FTA !

  • @mattbrown5511
    @mattbrown5511 Год назад +2

    Nice knowing you Dranaxian. Hope to see you on the other side with a better attitude.

  • @haroldwilbert4377
    @haroldwilbert4377 4 года назад +25

    For the algorithm and its profit.

  • @cameronknox7567
    @cameronknox7567 3 года назад +4

    I say Gorillas. Human, Chimp, Gorilla.

  • @waynecampeau4566
    @waynecampeau4566 2 года назад +10

    So, you think your good at war and think our rules are foolish? Prepare for a very, very bitter lesson. Learn why we have so many rules.

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 2 года назад +3

      A good man does not need rules.
      You don't want to know why we have so many.

  • @k.dl.p6461
    @k.dl.p6461 2 года назад +1

    At first I thought my headphones are broken thanks for the scare😅

  • @veryangryduckpl2122
    @veryangryduckpl2122 3 года назад +5

    4:15 Quooooote

  • @rainbowchaser73
    @rainbowchaser73 3 года назад +7

    Well I hope we don't do that to our Earth

    • @pavelZhd
      @pavelZhd 3 года назад

      Well... We kind of are.
      Firstly - our total disregard to climate change
      Then there are nukes. Our current total nuke count is estimated to be enough to glass the whole planet half-dozen times over. And don't be fooled by the idea that a country can shoot down all enemy nukes and thus survive. A desperate enough nuke-wielding nation can detonate enough nukes on its own territory to carpet the whole planet in radioactive ash and trigger century-long nuclear winter.
      That being said, we are unfortunately becoming less and less likely to use restraint on this kind of weapons. The main cold War rivals are starting to poke at each other...
      Plus we are starting to see nukes in the hands of religiously motivated nations. Fat chance those would be deterred by feat if MAD if they feel like their belief are being hurt...

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 3 года назад

      @@pavelZhd
      Your estimate of the power of nuclear weapons is ludicrously high.

    • @tidusffx1147
      @tidusffx1147 3 года назад +1

      @@calvingreene90 it is high but he is correct that there are still more than enough nukes out there to F us over

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 3 года назад

      @@tidusffx1147
      But not enough to render Earth uninhabitable or drive humans into extinction.

  • @nos2342
    @nos2342 3 года назад +4

    To please the algorithm is all

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад

      For the Algorithm

    • @Speed001
      @Speed001 9 месяцев назад

      All is all
      -A Space Dandy song (and a pretty good highschool musical-esque episode)
      Viva viva viva all

  • @theskeletoninthebasement9688
    @theskeletoninthebasement9688 4 года назад +7

    For the algorithm my friends

  • @Lsr2380
    @Lsr2380 11 дней назад

    Thank you :D

  • @johnnyrotten3175
    @johnnyrotten3175 10 месяцев назад +1

    4 D algorithm
    4 D 🐿️ ❗ ❗

  • @Jordy120
    @Jordy120 3 года назад +8

    1 thumbs down....I think someone may need a hug.

  • @ΒΑΣΙΛΕΙΟΣΠΑΠΑΔΑΚΗΣ-γ6φ
    @ΒΑΣΙΛΕΙΟΣΠΑΠΑΔΑΚΗΣ-γ6φ 6 месяцев назад

    I kove the stories where humans just start using the geneva checklist

  • @theonetodefyall238
    @theonetodefyall238 4 года назад +5

    keeper going

  • @Monster_Ink
    @Monster_Ink 3 года назад +5

    For the algorithm!

  • @ironworksdragon6843
    @ironworksdragon6843 3 года назад +5

    bob the dragon

  • @reasonablehiccups4792
    @reasonablehiccups4792 4 года назад +8

    For the algorithm

  • @ufoe20011
    @ufoe20011 3 месяца назад

    In how many universes are the dunake going to have to get their asses stomped. Before they learn.
    DO NOT FECK WITH THE TERRIANS.
    See " we thought the humans were weak " also narrated by agro

  • @ChaosLierLen
    @ChaosLierLen 2 года назад +2

    BAMN for the damned!

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 3 года назад +3

    FtA, FtA(s), FtDV!

  • @garrettmasarik8012
    @garrettmasarik8012 4 месяца назад

    Ooooo... the audio on this one is clicky buzzy...

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 4 года назад +6

    For the Algorithm

  • @Elyseon
    @Elyseon 2 года назад +2

    Dranok delenda est!

  • @TheRealInscrutable
    @TheRealInscrutable 11 месяцев назад +1

    100K

  • @grossteilfahrer
    @grossteilfahrer 4 года назад +4

    a bit of clipping in the right channel, unfortunately

  • @arakheno4051
    @arakheno4051 3 года назад +3

    FTA

  • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
    @Amoth_oth_ras_shash 2 года назад +2

    what is the sol species there.....i cant decide if its uplifted feline+canine+gorila ? horse?....or just various gen moded humans or something else hmm
    also..refer to the star.....oh no... you dident.... you scorched it dident you! you butchered your own mother garden over some childish reasons!

  • @zoro117
    @zoro117 11 месяцев назад

    The story seemed good, but I couldn’t finish it. You felt really rushed and it made me think at first that someone was reposting it at a higher speed but it is just you.

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Год назад +1

    163rd, 10 December 2023

  • @beingsneaky
    @beingsneaky 2 года назад

    hmm? yes... the author Cleary does not now how to tell a story There is no conclusion to this story.. where is the rest of it?

  • @HoNkYforLiFe1
    @HoNkYforLiFe1 Год назад

    Most boring story yet

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw 3 года назад +5

    For the algorithm