This is THE video that made me trust you. The skill and wisdom and judgment you showed in your response to the situation was both smart AND kind
Год назад+85
I admire your patience towards a 'father' like that! I'd have recommend her to go on a 2-week solo trip without cell phone, and leave the entire household plus 'kids stuff' to her husband. (No instructions, no preparations in advance, like freezing meals or planning lessons.) When she returns, they can talk again about setting up a side hustle or having one's life together.😆
I came to the comment section to say exactly that! I was amazed how Caren focused solely on giving constructive recommendation and advice to the woman without going on a half-an-hour tirade about how AH her husband is. Which is something that I would probably do. Hats off to the professionalism.
Yes this is insane. I don’t even have kids yet and work from home and at the end of the day it’s hard to even have the mental load left to do dinner. I feel like this was such a horrible example because this woman has expectations on her that are completely setting her up for failure.
Hold up! This mother of 5 home schools, takes care of the house, etc, etc, (it's no wonder she can't get to it all!) and her husband also wants her to earn money?! Does that mean he's helping with the home schooling, house work, etc.? Honestly, this woman may not have ADHD. She may just be exhausted.
Ananda! You’re maxed out! Give yourself permission to chop some stuff off of your plate. “Momming” is beyond a full time job. Good luck! And agree! You are a super woman!
I watched this yesterday and had to come back and say that your answer was so compassionate, non-judgmental and HELPFUL. I had to take a deep breath just listening to the viewer's situation, and also thought about my own mother who had 4 kids (and who likely had ADHD herself) and a Master's in Education, and I am so grateful that homeschooling was not even on my parents' radar (I know that's a whole different can of worms though).
Great video as always!! But can we also say… this husband needs either to take on home schooling or home making with whatever he has on his plate before demanding more of her… geesh!!
And Caren, perfect advice for Amanda. Loved it! I raised 4 boys as single mom, working full time as a healthcare professional WITH undiagnosed ADD. MANY years of complete HELL. Although the kids and I survived, it was damn hard. Wish someone had pointed my ADD out to me because although in medicine, I totally missed the clues about myself until now, 15 years later!
Right on. Love this practical wisdom. You kids are lucky. In my day we didn't have access to practical wisdom like this. This is quite a bit more valuable than a a few popular ADHD books. 😮 🙏
Thank you so very much for this video and the work you do. My husband and I both have ASD and are having testing for ADHD. We have no children yet we have a demading schedule with elderly relatives. After years of dealing with the stressors of juggling work, dealing with psysiological disability, family, friends and daily maintainance Its been difficult to find time for much needed self care. It took a lot of time to stop blaming myself as being lazy, guilt tripping myself and comparing myself to my mother and sister who somehow miraculously seem to have smoothly raised kids, worked outside the home and keep their houses neat as a pin. After the horrors of dealing with a lot of psyciatric doctors who were not doing their job well for whatever reason I have had to be my own resource until I could find the doctors that were actually the correct match for my needs. Listening to you, has been a good supplement to my research and has presented new tools for me to go forward.
100% guarantee her husband is neurotypical. I’m in a similar situation. My MIL is neurotypical and homeschooled 4 children, managed the home, and cooked from scratch. 😂 She did wait until the two older children were in high school before starting a part-time tutoring business. 😅
There is so much here I need to work on and I don't even have a family. And now I need to watch this again because I got distracted. I know there are steps and they are moving targets for me.
That warmed my heart when you said something like it’s not about looking out ourselves as if we are failing but looking at the schedule to see what’s working and what isn’t working. It’s not me it’s my schedule. I’m going to take notes and use my timer tomorrow! 😅👍👍 I greatly appreciate this encouraging video. Thank you!
Hey Caryn - love your vids!! Just a quick reminder to my fellow ADHDr’s - careful who you share your diagnosis with - caught this comment in trash trashing of poor Katy Perry’s new disc: While Exclaim called the entire record “offensively bad,” suggesting that “each track is an ADHD simulation - so understimulating you forget what it sounds like seconds after it ends.”
I am curious what inspires you to wear the t shirt. I'm just asking since I have the same t-shirt and wore it on my instagram account often, and I also talked openly about having adhd.
It is estimated that 60% of people homeschooling are doing so because of special needs or learning styles (even, ahem, ADHD). Public school hasn’t changed in regards to learning styles to keep up with the actual research! I’m 25 days into homeschooling and my child with APD and Dyslexia. We are seeing huge gains in grade level and she went from only audiobooks to finishing her 3rd chapter book! 🎉
Sounds like this father is a Narcissist…. I was married to a neglectful narcissist…. This mom needs to school her cell on narcissistic personality disorder, and see what fits… I started with Dr. Ramani on RUclips
I recommend telling your employer things like “I work best when…” the thing is, you never want to make it sound like you can’t meet the same result. We are all hired to meet a criteria, it’s not like in school where the can change the needed result. Saying I have ADHD so I need you to (fill in the blank) will make your employer question your ability to do the job and potentially see you as a problem, where saying something like, I can do is best when working by myself is just a personality type
But she does have 5 kids AND what sounds like a neglectful and critical spouse. One of those two facts is irreversible (hoping she dumps her husband😃) Caren is helping her deal with the situation compassionately and with a lot of insight. This coaching video is one of the most helpful I've ever seen.
This is THE video that made me trust you. The skill and wisdom and judgment you showed in your response to the situation was both smart AND kind
I admire your patience towards a 'father' like that! I'd have recommend her to go on a 2-week solo trip without cell phone, and leave the entire household plus 'kids stuff' to her husband. (No instructions, no preparations in advance, like freezing meals or planning lessons.) When she returns, they can talk again about setting up a side hustle or having one's life together.😆
I came to the comment section to say exactly that! I was amazed how Caren focused solely on giving constructive recommendation and advice to the woman without going on a half-an-hour tirade about how AH her husband is. Which is something that I would probably do.
Hats off to the professionalism.
And homeschooling 5 kids
@@Heyu7her3 OMG! Right?!?!
Yes, OMG! I had some choice words for that hubby. Hats off to Caren!
Yes this is insane. I don’t even have kids yet and work from home and at the end of the day it’s hard to even have the mental load left to do dinner. I feel like this was such a horrible example because this woman has expectations on her that are completely setting her up for failure.
Hold up! This mother of 5 home schools, takes care of the house, etc, etc, (it's no wonder she can't get to it all!) and her husband also wants her to earn money?! Does that mean he's helping with the home schooling, house work, etc.? Honestly, this woman may not have ADHD. She may just be exhausted.
He sounds like he's a "traditionalist" but isn't rich enough to actually do that 😒
Yeah, I could never home school my child! It’s totally an extra job!
Ananda! You’re maxed out! Give yourself permission to chop some stuff off of your plate. “Momming” is beyond a full time job. Good luck! And agree! You are a super woman!
I watched this yesterday and had to come back and say that your answer was so compassionate, non-judgmental and HELPFUL. I had to take a deep breath just listening to the viewer's situation, and also thought about my own mother who had 4 kids (and who likely had ADHD herself) and a Master's in Education, and I am so grateful that homeschooling was not even on my parents' radar (I know that's a whole different can of worms though).
Great video as always!! But can we also say… this husband needs either to take on home schooling or home making with whatever he has on his plate before demanding more of her… geesh!!
Agreed
And Caren, perfect advice for Amanda. Loved it!
I raised 4 boys as single mom, working full time as a healthcare professional WITH undiagnosed ADD. MANY years of complete HELL. Although the kids and I survived, it was damn hard. Wish someone had pointed my ADD out to me because although in medicine, I totally missed the clues about myself until now, 15 years later!
I’m glad they updated Self identification Voluntary Disability form for job applications to where ADHD is now on the list as of 07/2023.
Yep, they are finally publishing diagnostic & treatment guidelines for adult ADHD.
Right on. Love this practical wisdom. You kids are lucky. In my day we didn't have access to practical wisdom like this. This is quite a bit more valuable than a a few popular ADHD books. 😮 🙏
You are so operating in your gift 🙏🏾
thank you!
Thank you so very much for this video and the work you do. My husband and I both have ASD and are having testing for ADHD. We have no children yet we have a demading schedule with elderly relatives. After years of dealing with the stressors of juggling work, dealing with psysiological disability, family, friends and daily maintainance Its been difficult to find time for much needed self care. It took a lot of time to stop blaming myself as being lazy, guilt tripping myself and comparing myself to my mother and sister who somehow miraculously seem to have smoothly raised kids, worked outside the home and keep their houses neat as a pin. After the horrors of dealing with a lot of psyciatric doctors who were not doing their job well for whatever reason I have had to be my own resource until I could find the doctors that were actually the correct match for my needs. Listening to you, has been a good supplement to my research and has presented new tools for me to go forward.
100% guarantee her husband is neurotypical. I’m in a similar situation. My MIL is neurotypical and homeschooled 4 children, managed the home, and cooked from scratch. 😂 She did wait until the two older children were in high school before starting a part-time tutoring business. 😅
There is so much here I need to work on and I don't even have a family. And now I need to watch this again because I got distracted. I know there are steps and they are moving targets for me.
Love your positive attitude!!)
That warmed my heart when you said something like it’s not about looking out ourselves as if we are failing but looking at the schedule to see what’s working and what isn’t working. It’s not me it’s my schedule. I’m going to take notes and use my timer tomorrow! 😅👍👍 I greatly appreciate this encouraging video. Thank you!
Hey Caryn - love your vids!! Just a quick reminder to my fellow ADHDr’s - careful who you share your diagnosis with - caught this comment in trash trashing of poor Katy Perry’s new disc: While Exclaim called the entire record “offensively bad,” suggesting that “each track is an ADHD simulation - so understimulating you forget what it sounds like seconds after it ends.”
I am curious what inspires you to wear the t shirt. I'm just asking since I have the same t-shirt and wore it on my instagram account often, and I also talked openly about having adhd.
Love your hair. I started wearing bonded hair system in my thirties, but they are too thick and do not look very natural.
Love this video and the tips. Thx!
What if I have time for more things I need to do but I am unable to consistently motivate myself?
This poor woman. I doubt she has ADHD. Her situation sounds more like a husband problem
Well, probably both.
I know exactly what I need to do for work (wfh on a computer), yet my brain is scattered and it takes me twice as long as it should.
This video beautiful!! Thank you!! 😊
Oh no I'd first outsource the schooling to, ya know, an actual school.
It is estimated that 60% of people homeschooling are doing so because of special needs or learning styles (even, ahem, ADHD). Public school hasn’t changed in regards to learning styles to keep up with the actual research! I’m 25 days into homeschooling and my child with APD and Dyslexia. We are seeing huge gains in grade level and she went from only audiobooks to finishing her 3rd chapter book! 🎉
Sounds like this father is a Narcissist…. I was married to a neglectful narcissist…. This mom needs to school her cell on narcissistic personality disorder, and see what fits… I started with Dr. Ramani on RUclips
Need to keep in mind women in her 40's are perimenopausal and hormones may be out of balance. This only makes ADHD more pronounced.
Do you recommend that I tell my current employer that I suffer from ADHD?
Very interested to know the answer to this
That's hard to say as every situation is different. I wouldn't unless you had a very specific reason to do so (like asking for an accommodation).
And instead of asking as an accommodation, start by letting them know you are requesting x, y or z because it helps you work better.
I recommend telling your employer things like “I work best when…” the thing is, you never want to make it sound like you can’t meet the same result. We are all hired to meet a criteria, it’s not like in school where the can change the needed result. Saying I have ADHD so I need you to (fill in the blank) will make your employer question your ability to do the job and potentially see you as a problem, where saying something like, I can do is best when working by myself is just a personality type
Homeschooling 5 kids??? That's crazy! And their father? Solution: to divorce and to take the kids to school!
Caren is super hot! 😍
Wish this could have been just a little more relatable. Most of us didn't choose to have 5 children under 10.
Maybe she shouldn't have had 5 kids, just saying. Yikes.
I also have the same opinion as everybody cant handle so many kids.
But she does have 5 kids AND what sounds like a neglectful and critical spouse. One of those two facts is irreversible (hoping she dumps her husband😃)
Caren is helping her deal with the situation compassionately and with a lot of insight. This coaching video is one of the most helpful I've ever seen.