Since that idiot didn't suffocate from a coughing fit, he was probably trolling the site. Nobody who is bright enough to survive eating cotton stoppers of an age to be literate enough to be online is stupid enough to do it and not die. If you can figure out how to eat that and not die, you are smart enough to figure out how to not die while doing it... and thus smart enough to simply not do it.
28:02 Actually, that *is* how that works. Injecting air into your blood can lead to air embolisms, which can be fatal as they may result in heart attacks or strokes. It's why doctors are careful to make sure there are no bubbles in their syringes before an injection. EDIT: I'm being told it takes much more than a few bubbles to cause complications in the blood. My thinking was that it was more of a precautionary thing, just to avoid the possibility, but I stand corrected. Still, don't inject air into your blood. :)
THIS!! when i was in high school i was on the anatomy and physiology event in science olympiad. i got put on the cardiovascular system, so i asked my dad (cardiologist) to help me study. i remember talking about air embolisms with him. my teammate and i got 2nd place at regionals (1st place was our group's A team)
3:19 As an American, becoming multilingual was the best decision I ever made. It allowed to be go places and meet incredible people that I would otherwise never be able to communicate with. English is my native tongue, but I studied my second language in university in the US. I was really serious about studying it at the time, so I was constantly practicing and carrying around my flash cards and notebooks. My American friends at the time never really said anything to my face about it, but I could tell they were confused or even turned off by how much effort I was putting into learning a foreign language. It’s either they thought I was wasting my time, or they called me out for “bragging” about being able to speak more than *one* language. The US is something else man. Imagine living in a melting pot nation and getting called out or put down for just trying to accommodate for others or expand your horizons beyond the US.
We live in the country where people don't like anything that's not " God is great, capitalism is wonderful, you should only speak English in 'my' country," and so on and so forth. It would be much better place if it wasn't such a cesspool of b*******
Damn bro that's impressive I tried to learn a language but I was never successful I know two languages but I don't know how adults can learn one I tried but it's so hard.
@@Titancameraman64Immersion might be the best suited for you. People have different learning styles. Think back on how you learnt your mother tongue, people just talk around you and at you and at first you understanding nothing, but start picking it up by repetition and association. One of the best learning resources I've found is the Teach Yourself series which I can highly recommend It gives you book lessons plus comes with an audio CD that accompanies said lessons, which is great for learning to link the written language with the spoken sound in your head. Vocabulary and grammar lessons are given in digestible chunks and all the elements are structured to build on each other. Also as soon as you have the basics down, try reading materials for kids in that language, watch media in the language subtitled etc, you learn much faster that way even if half of it goes over your head initially. Give it a try, it's so rewarding! PS if you grew up bilingual you already have a learning advantage as your brain is used to the idea of having different words for one thing.
Meanwhile here in Europe learning foreign languages is mandatory at school. Everyone has to learn English as it's the world lingua franca, but you also have to learn a second one for at least a couple terms. Generally in Germany, you'll have a choice of either French, Italian or Spanish.
Ah, the good ol' DC trip... that's where my friends found out I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, I also whisper in my sleep! I was sleeping so soundly I didn't hear my roommate scream and fall out of bed when she saw me. I now have to warn people.
I wasn't able to go but from what I have heard, my schools DC trip ended with a history teacher having an affair with the teacher who's husband was from the next room
I want to clarify a misunderstanding on 33:16. When Damien asserts that the rocketship seems to go sideways instead of up is because the Earth is rotating, it's actually not because of Earth's rotation. -If you jump off of a speeding vehicle, you will still have the sideway's momentum of the vehicle even when you're not touching it. Of course air drag will eventually slow you down, BUT in the case of a helicopter, if you hover above a certain spot, you will stay above that spot for the same reason you keep the car's momentum on the previous example, because you keep earth's momentum caused by you rotating along with it. (except in this case air drag wont be a problem since the atmosphere rotates along with the Earth. -This concludes that the spaceship wouldn't drift west bc of Earth east rotation. Instead, the answer to this lies on what the spaceship actually wants to achive on the mission, which most of the time is achive a stable orbit around Earth. For this to happen, the ship has to build horizontal momentum, so that whenever the spaceship arrives to outer space, it has enough sideways momentum (horizontal) to orbit Earth without falling back inside it. (sidenote, Every spaceship orbiting earth are actually constantly falling back to earth, but this horizontal velocity pushes them farther away from Earth at the same speed they are pulled down by gravity, hence, they always stay on orbit)
Another thing. They are aiming to the side to get into orbit. But even if you fly straight up, and even in a situation without air resistance, you would seem to be travelling opposite to the rotation of the earth to those on the ground. This is because although your horizontal linear velocity does not change as you increase your altitude, the radius you are rotating about does change, so your angular velocity decreases. If the surface is going 1 rotation/day but the rocket is going 0.9 rotations/day then it will look like the rocket is going -0.1 rotations/day, which is 0.1 rotations/day in the opposite direction to the rotation of the earth. So it makes an arc.
@@theuncalledfor true. I guess I haven't done the math on it to see how much it would affect it. But like if you pointed a rocket straight at the moon and paunched it straight up you would notice by the time it got there.
I've got one, I was at my friend's house with some other people and the conversation somehow got onto veins, one of them proceeded to say, "But legs don't have veins" Literally everyone there laughed
I have one too. Two actually. First, a girl in my history class asked who started WWIII. Not even a joke. Second, same girl, in P.E., asked what happens if we get a hole-in-one in baseball. Someone help this girl.
That's funny, but why did the other guy have to be racist? You don't know if they're white. That's a racist assumption, lots of black people don't like illegals either.
Regarding the clip in the thumbnail, frankly I'm glad the octopus defended itself. Eating an animal alive can't be interpreted as anything other than an act of extreme cruelty by anyone with a brain.
@@kaiserigorvonhabsburg1828 also it’s super ironic since she cried in the thumbnail because the octopus did that to her face lmao while she tried to eat it alive
This was the comment I had been looking for to make sure not to make a duplicate. Glad someone else facepalmed to what he said. The sixth gear comment made me raise a brow too haha
Yep, was looking for this so I didn't repeat and can 100% confirm placement of reverse as my vehicle has that layout with reverse in the top left and OD(Over Drive, it's a old truck) in bottom right
To expand on the original comment for anyone who might not be familiar with manuals, including EmKay, reverse and 1st are in the correct position. 2nd would be straight down from 1st, up to 3rd back down to 4th, then back up to 5th and down to 6th.
@@frozenpasta1314 I facepalmed when I first saw it posted years ago and people said 6 speed gearboxes didn't exist. Like... my dad's only luxury purchase was a 306 GTi-6, pretty damn sure there's a 6th gear from all the times I've driven it.
5:26 That's actually ilegal in many countries, companies cannot harass their employees over what they post and comment in their private social media unless is related to classified information about their jobs or clients.
So fun fact on the A&W burger: people did actually recognize that it was bigger, but the problem was people didn’t want a burger that big, and A&W lost a lot of money on it, and they pulled a hot coffee and started spreading info to blame customers rather than admit they sold a product no one wanted; it was especially prevelent among the higher ups who came up with the idea and were too embarrassed to admit they were out of touch
@@animeguy6752 they did mark it up quite considerably according to my grandparents who used to eat their; it was a little under twice the price of a Big Mac at at time, which might be the reason it didn’t do too hot
Kind of funny how corporations have been pulling this kind of gaslighting for years, yet everyone believes Disney when they say their movies only bombed from racist backlash
Your "fun fact" is even more stupid. People didn't want a burger that big? What in the world are you talking about? 1/3 pound compared to 1/4 pound is not really such a big difference. It's literally only 1.3 ounces heavier. But for the same price, why not? Majority of people are just stupid and suck at fractions. Tho, A&W could learn a lesson and make a 2/6 pounder.
That Fourth of July PTSD thing where the jackass got pissed off because of "liberals getting triggered" actually made me extremely upset. My cousin served in Iraq, had to watch his whole squad die and sustained serious bodily injury. His platoon went over IEDs. He survived but he has really bad PTSD, so much so that a balloon popping can cause issues. The fact that he saw the word "tiggered" and immediately jumped to Liberals is extremely infuriating to me. On a side note, though, he is triggered by the word triggered
@@404cheeseburgernotfound5 I appreciate it, and I'm sure he does too. That is the worst part of war, in my mind: some of the people who are out there fighting will never be the same
If that person who gets triggered by "triggered" meets his clone he'll probably go - stop getting triggered- - Stop getting triggered- - STOP GETTING TRIGGERED- - *STOP GETTING TRIGGERED*- and so on. It's a pity (?idk how it's on english properly i used google translate) for your cousin though, wish him well.
28:08 he is actually right here, if the air gets into your bloodstream it can cause a massive gap in the bloodstream which cause your heart to stop beating and your body just collapses
"is Spongebob on Netflix? No, it's not, it never will be." Canadian Netflix with its ONE season of Spongebob: we just barely made the cut. Just BARELY.
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. Ding A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, ding
33:26 Rockets don’t go straight up because they would fall back down if they did. Usually the goal is to get to an orbit and that requires tangential (horizontal) speed. It has nothing to do with the rotation of the earth.
I was going to comment basically the same thing but the rotation of the Earth can be a benefit too if you launch in the same direction as the rotation. Best if done close to the equator for maximum speed which is why the US launches from TX and FL. 🚀
@@adamreab3899 indeed, starting at the equator and speeding up in the same direction as the rotation of the earth gives a tangential speed head start of over 1600 km/h.
Jack, 1 pence difference in this country is like getting a dollar as a child in your country, its really not that much but psychology make you think otherwise
speaking of a small difference, Actually that 39.99 controller was 42.98 to the seller. Taxes are a thing. So technically they're selling it for the same period the paid which they can do lol
33:28 this happens because the rocket needs to not just go up, but sideways to get to orbital velocity. To get to space, go up. To stay in space, go sideways really really fast.
@@theuncalledfor you know who else isn’t able to read Gen alpha kids mfs don’t even know what state they live in, or even how to engage in a proper conversation, yet they know swear words
The mans shirt isn’t missing the second part, the data of the shirt is incomplete and the reader is supposed to assume 2 is those who can’t, fucking love it
"She's your daughter not your date" based on looking at the rest of the billboard, it looks like it'd be a support hotline for incest, calling incest out followed by a number you can call. "Getting drunk is never an excuse" calling out people who say they didnt mean to because they were drunk, this also could help people who have been a victim of incest realise that it was actually still the other persons fault that billboard is helpful ps: if you dont get it, not everyone who commits incest wants to, a lot of the time it could be that a parent came onto their child without the childs wishes.
@@himanbam tbh knowing how some people are, many would just shut up and excuse it with "ive never gotten drunk before, but i assume you lose control of your body? So its fine" and try to be "nice" without thinking how this person literally just fucked up their life
8 subreddit suggestions: Robin: -r/sbubby -r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it) Jack: -r/ComedyCemetery -r/garfieldminusgarfield -r/BreadStapledToTrees Lexi: -r/notlikeothergirls -r/Chadtopia -r/ofcoursethatsathing This is my 363rd day of doing this, hope they're all done soon.
@its fine yes, I do know that it’s good to promote muslim, but PLEASE, don’t promote it on RUclips, some people are sensitive and might send hate comments, again, please don’t promote Islam in youtube.
@Bárt Brokovník Well they'll still be a madlad for fooling each one of us lol, also they happen to be a great geometry dash player, so they automatically belong to r/madlads lmao
@@silverwolfgaming4042 you are right, but if your car has 5 gears, the reverse goes in the 6th gear spot, or atleast in Europe(my dad has a van like that, thought I’d share)
@@gergomarton4260 not necessarily, no. It depends on the maker. My car is 5 speed, and the reverse is as shown above. As far as I am aware, most cars from the VW group or at least this era of VW group have this layout. VW is of course super popular in Europe...
@@Strongest_under_heaven i’m sorry I can’t believe how FUCKING DUMB I AM FUCK MY LIFE I HATE MY MEMORY my dad literally has a VW van, and I have a picture of it with the gears visible, and it is like how you say they are. I’m such an idiot lol, but do those cars exist or would it be dumb?(the ones that have gears like how I said they were)
@@Strongest_under_heaven yep all about the maker, Porsche and Mazda both have reverse in the first position, it's actually less common for them to be under another gear to avoid accidentally going into reverse while upshifting. Also why it's more common these days for a safety lock of some description to avoid going into reverse at all unless intentional.
"You know she wrote the books, right?" really doesn't apply when it comes to J K Rowling. Her Twitter posts are the best argument I've ever seen for DOTA in literary analysis.
@@Actually_Alice_Orchid DOTA the literary analysis concept. "Death of the Author." It means a work should stand on its own and once it is published, barring reprints, should be free of authorial input. I usually think it's a boneheaded concept pushed by arrogant idiots who want to ply others' hard work to make political points, but then there are people like Rowling who will flagrantly contradict their own hard work to make political points (like saying she never said Hermione was white- she did, actually), associating political points with the work that are entirely unrelated to its content (like her whole TERF thing) and saying shit she (presumably) know sounds dumb as hell for shock value (like that before they had plumbing wizards would just relieve themselves where they stood and disapparate it somewhere). Some of it I can buy (like Dumbledore being gay; I felt he came off as asexual, but I don't know if Rowling even knows or believes there are people who don't want to have sex in general), but I don't think those few minor clarifications would be a huge loss in exchange for ignoring the sheer quantity of utter bullshit she writes about, rather than in, her own books. It's like she regrets writing a new generation's Lord of the Rings because she realised she wanted to be more of a Piers Anthony than a JRR Tolkien.
The bottle is designed to look like a "50% extra for free!" kinda bottle, but closer examination reveals they're just bragging about a bigger bottle. Belongs in r/assholedesign.
@@Kitsunegami No, it looks exactly like the packages that have a temporarily larger amount of content, while keeping the same price as the regular, smaller pack. You have to look closely to see that it's just bigger, without the discount this normally implies. There is no reason to use this kind of advertisement to announce a larger pack size.
44:58 Sometimes I feel like I’m being really babied for no reason, then I feel bad. Then I see people do stuff like this and have someone else help them through it and I feel so much better
Just a little tip, the city ‘Leicester’ at 27:05 is pronounced ‘Lester’. I was born in the exact hospital mentioned in the video and just had to check if I still had mine.
I love the random cut to- "It is like, 100 degrees in my room so I am sweating my life away, it is, disgusting." Best cut I have ever witnessed. Keep up the good work you guys!
44:16 - Crows are actually intelligent enough that I could see them egging on a raccoon to harass dogs (probably by copying a dog bark to make the raccoon think the dogs are harassing him - Yes, crows can do mimicry)
18:48 the D.C trip for me was $500, where it the extra $2,500 dollors coming from.(the 500 is the total for the hotel and transportation, no money was provided by the school or any other entity for the trip)
14:01 robin: "wow, that's one way to do it my dude, or you could buy a three dollar mask from target and save yourself the trouble" me: "just let natural selection do its thing robin"
33:23 The rocket bends because it's going into orbit. If it didn't, the ship would have to keep running to counter gravity even hen it reaches space. It's a myth that you float in space because there's no gravity; the real reason is that you're in orbit. You would have to go very far away from Earth in order to actually not have gravity, and even then there's still an extremely tiny bit.
12:31 for anyone not understanding the joke like Damien, extrapolation is defined as "the action of estimating or concluding something by assuming that existing trends will continue or a current method will remain applicable", the joke is that the second type of person is someone who can't extrapolate from incomplete data
22:30 This is obviously a joke question. I’ve encountered dozens of these on Quora. But let’s take this question seriously then: obviously it is because the nanomachines fly between the router and the device, carrying internet particles in their microscopic hands :3
23:25 they work by putting high voltage trough something for a short time , then it creates a magnetic feild that instantly has no more current to stay active and there yeets itself as an electromagnetic wave , also you require like 20GHz Then you get an atena or a coil , it gets very small voltage you add an amplifier circut and so you get usable info
18:14 My family couldn't afford for me to go, so my mom did like a Facebook thing. It was around when Wednesday got popular. She was crocheting snoods and she did a raffle that was $5 a ticket. She got over like $300 out of it and some of her friends donated money to me directly. One of them gave me 5 $20 bills in a card. I got to keep all the extra money too and i had a lot of fun so yay :)
I did say is in the actual video where Jack went over r/facepalm, but I'll say it again. Some people believe that the earth is a giant snow globe, and the firmament is a giant crystal dome.
Yes, gear 1,3 and 5 are in the top and 2, 4 (and 6) are on the bottom. Reverse can be under the 5th or before the 1st. (R) 1 3 5 not 1 2 3 2 4 (6)R 4 5 6 R
@@anka7602 It would be incredibly dangerous, and probably highly illegal, to design a car with the wrong gear order, because drivers do not look at the stick while driving. It's supposed to be intuitive, because shifting into the wrong gear at the wrong time can damage the vehicle. As a result, people who actually drive manual should immediately notice that this moron got the gear order wrong - which tells me he either doesn't drive manual, or he does but is so stupid that he never noticed the wrong order.
8:30 That one actually *do* make sense. What he's saying is that *with* her he percieves times as moving quicker. While without her it's going at normal speed.
26:47 Whoa, that is one trippy image, did not expect it to reflect this much. For a second I thought this was a hole in the floor with a dude wearing a bucket on his head standing below the hole on the floor below. I guess it's because it's cropped so small, it reflects only stuff not shown elsewhere in the image.
33:30 "Maybe it's because the Earth's rotating so it's not going to be going straight up." How fast do you think the Earth rotates? Rockets go sideways like that because getting to space isn't the hard part. Space is only 100 miles (160 km) away. The hard part is staying there. What goes up must come down, and if you go straight up, you fall straight back down. Rockets go sideways really, really fast so that, by the time they come back down, they've missed the Earth and "down" is in a different direction. This is why orbits exist. The ISS, for instance, is still experiencing about 90% of sea-level gravity, it's just in a constant state of free-fall.
The 50 % more on the mustard was actually correct. Because 50% of 12oz is 6oz and 12oz plus 6oz (50% of 12 oz) equals 18oz.
12oz*50%+12oz=18oz
I think the facepalm was that someone thought that it’s incorrect and they just cropped it or something but idk
Yeah I posted the same comment before seeing this
THANK YOU. I THOUGHT THAT BUT THEN DECIDED NOT TO POINT IT OUT BECAUSE I FELT STUPID
yeah i got confused about that
exactly what i was going to say
50% more of 12 is 18, as 50% of 12 is 6, 6+12=18. People think it should be 24 but that is double the original amount or 100% more. So, facepalm?🤦🏼
Came here to say this.
I came to the comments just to see if someone else said this. I'm like omg you people failed math.
The best part is that he didnt notice
I literally had to look through the comments to make sure I wasn’t the only one
Glad others noticed lol
"my husband killed me!"
"how are you speaking to me?"
"i got better..."
You dont have enough likes!!!!!
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science
"then ma'am, if you are faking this there is nothing i can do about it, if he tried harming you call back"
*Puts on hold*
A man of culture.
"You forfeit your humanity when you try to take mine away" goes hard as fuck
Tolerance is a social contract, not a moral obligation. If you shove your religion in my face and damn me to Hell, I am not required to accept it.
I don't get it
@@dextertheio2857 its easy to grasp lmao
😅😅
@@dextertheio2857forfeit means "give up"
"'I ate the cotton yesterday.' You 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻??" Damien said calmly.
𝐜𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬
@@dogwithdrugs61 Cocks indeed.
@@dogwithdrugs61 true
My name is Damien
Since that idiot didn't suffocate from a coughing fit, he was probably trolling the site. Nobody who is bright enough to survive eating cotton stoppers of an age to be literate enough to be online is stupid enough to do it and not die. If you can figure out how to eat that and not die, you are smart enough to figure out how to not die while doing it... and thus smart enough to simply not do it.
28:02 Actually, that *is* how that works. Injecting air into your blood can lead to air embolisms, which can be fatal as they may result in heart attacks or strokes. It's why doctors are careful to make sure there are no bubbles in their syringes before an injection.
EDIT: I'm being told it takes much more than a few bubbles to cause complications in the blood. My thinking was that it was more of a precautionary thing, just to avoid the possibility, but I stand corrected. Still, don't inject air into your blood. :)
THIS!! when i was in high school i was on the anatomy and physiology event in science olympiad. i got put on the cardiovascular system, so i asked my dad (cardiologist) to help me study. i remember talking about air embolisms with him. my teammate and i got 2nd place at regionals (1st place was our group's A team)
So obviously we have to stop breathing it
Glad some people got it
When I was in the hospital my doctor told me when I asked about the IV that it takes about 3 to 4 syringes of air to cause issue
It would take a serious air bubble my dude. You can inject air bubbles up to 2cc and be fine.
It’s so good to hear Damien again
His wheezing laugh is just the most hilarious thing ever!
He has his own channel now its called deelee
@@TofuTuesdays yeah I know
I love it
Omg his back I thought that was his old reaction
@@Usernoobmaster he's not back those are old videos
@@elenaa8436 bot
3:19
As an American, becoming multilingual was the best decision I ever made.
It allowed to be go places and meet incredible people that I would otherwise never be able to communicate with.
English is my native tongue, but I studied my second language in university in the US. I was really serious about studying it at the time, so I was constantly practicing and carrying around my flash cards and notebooks. My American friends at the time never really said anything to my face about it, but I could tell they were confused or even turned off by how much effort I was putting into learning a foreign language. It’s either they thought I was wasting my time, or they called me out for “bragging” about being able to speak more than *one* language.
The US is something else man. Imagine living in a melting pot nation and getting called out or put down for just trying to accommodate for others or expand your horizons beyond the US.
We live in the country where people don't like anything that's not " God is great, capitalism is wonderful, you should only speak English in 'my' country," and so on and so forth. It would be much better place if it wasn't such a cesspool of b*******
Yeah, I hate this country.
Damn bro that's impressive I tried to learn a language but I was never successful I know two languages but I don't know how adults can learn one I tried but it's so hard.
@@Titancameraman64Immersion might be the best suited for you. People have different learning styles. Think back on how you learnt your mother tongue, people just talk around you and at you and at first you understanding nothing, but start picking it up by repetition and association. One of the best learning resources I've found is the Teach Yourself series which I can highly recommend It gives you book lessons plus comes with an audio CD that accompanies said lessons, which is great for learning to link the written language with the spoken sound in your head. Vocabulary and grammar lessons are given in digestible chunks and all the elements are structured to build on each other. Also as soon as you have the basics down, try reading materials for kids in that language, watch media in the language subtitled etc, you learn much faster that way even if half of it goes over your head initially. Give it a try, it's so rewarding!
PS if you grew up bilingual you already have a learning advantage as your brain is used to the idea of having different words for one thing.
Meanwhile here in Europe learning foreign languages is mandatory at school. Everyone has to learn English as it's the world lingua franca, but you also have to learn a second one for at least a couple terms. Generally in Germany, you'll have a choice of either French, Italian or Spanish.
Ah, the good ol' DC trip... that's where my friends found out I not only sleep with my eyes wide open, I also whisper in my sleep! I was sleeping so soundly I didn't hear my roommate scream and fall out of bed when she saw me. I now have to warn people.
The DC trip felt like a fucking fever dream-
I wasn't able to go but from what I have heard, my schools DC trip ended with a history teacher having an affair with the teacher who's husband was from the next room
Excuse me WHAT THE FUCK
@@officialrhythmicthoughts And now........ *The Weather*
How the fuck do you sleep with your eyes open
I want to clarify a misunderstanding on 33:16. When Damien asserts that the rocketship seems to go sideways instead of up is because the Earth is rotating, it's actually not because of Earth's rotation.
-If you jump off of a speeding vehicle, you will still have the sideway's momentum of the vehicle even when you're not touching it. Of course air drag will eventually slow you down, BUT in the case of a helicopter, if you hover above a certain spot, you will stay above that spot for the same reason you keep the car's momentum on the previous example, because you keep earth's momentum caused by you rotating along with it. (except in this case air drag wont be a problem since the atmosphere rotates along with the Earth.
-This concludes that the spaceship wouldn't drift west bc of Earth east rotation. Instead, the answer to this lies on what the spaceship actually wants to achive on the mission, which most of the time is achive a stable orbit around Earth. For this to happen, the ship has to build horizontal momentum, so that whenever the spaceship arrives to outer space, it has enough sideways momentum (horizontal) to orbit Earth without falling back inside it. (sidenote, Every spaceship orbiting earth are actually constantly falling back to earth, but this horizontal velocity pushes them farther away from Earth at the same speed they are pulled down by gravity, hence, they always stay on orbit)
Another thing. They are aiming to the side to get into orbit. But even if you fly straight up, and even in a situation without air resistance, you would seem to be travelling opposite to the rotation of the earth to those on the ground. This is because although your horizontal linear velocity does not change as you increase your altitude, the radius you are rotating about does change, so your angular velocity decreases. If the surface is going 1 rotation/day but the rocket is going 0.9 rotations/day then it will look like the rocket is going -0.1 rotations/day, which is 0.1 rotations/day in the opposite direction to the rotation of the earth. So it makes an arc.
@@himanbam
I highly doubt that this would be noticeable. Earth is _big._ (Technically not wrong though.)
As an aerospace engineering student, I can say that this is correct. Thanks for posting this comment before me.
@@theuncalledfor true. I guess I haven't done the math on it to see how much it would affect it. But like if you pointed a rocket straight at the moon and paunched it straight up you would notice by the time it got there.
Not reading allat 🤣🤣
I've got one,
I was at my friend's house with some other people and the conversation somehow got onto veins, one of them proceeded to say,
"But legs don't have veins"
Literally everyone there laughed
I have one too.
Two actually.
First, a girl in my history class asked who started WWIII. Not even a joke.
Second, same girl, in P.E., asked what happens if we get a hole-in-one in baseball.
Someone help this girl.
Bro doesn't want "illigals"
Also, the 50% more stuff is correct
the fact that it was spelled 'illigals' made that whole thing 100% better, the sheer irony lmao
You can tell he's a Republican
bro is an american, a country that speaks mainly english natively and yet he somehow doesnt know how to spell illegal
That's funny, but why did the other guy have to be racist? You don't know if they're white. That's a racist assumption, lots of black people don't like illegals either.
Regarding the clip in the thumbnail, frankly I'm glad the octopus defended itself. Eating an animal alive can't be interpreted as anything other than an act of extreme cruelty by anyone with a brain.
Many animals eat eachother alive... And they have a brain.
it's a common thing in some traditions
@@Torireactsofficial005 just because it’s a tradition doesn’t make it right
@@kaiserigorvonhabsburg1828 yes because they are animals
We know better
@@kaiserigorvonhabsburg1828 also it’s super ironic since she cried in the thumbnail because the octopus did that to her face lmao while she tried to eat it alive
jack, you actually made me face palm at 43:02 no the reverse can be there, the place of the numbers, those are in the wrong place.
This was the comment I had been looking for to make sure not to make a duplicate. Glad someone else facepalmed to what he said. The sixth gear comment made me raise a brow too haha
Yep, was looking for this so I didn't repeat and can 100% confirm placement of reverse as my vehicle has that layout with reverse in the top left and OD(Over Drive, it's a old truck) in bottom right
To expand on the original comment for anyone who might not be familiar with manuals, including EmKay, reverse and 1st are in the correct position. 2nd would be straight down from 1st, up to 3rd back down to 4th, then back up to 5th and down to 6th.
@@frozenpasta1314 I facepalmed when I first saw it posted years ago and people said 6 speed gearboxes didn't exist. Like... my dad's only luxury purchase was a 306 GTi-6, pretty damn sure there's a 6th gear from all the times I've driven it.
Emkay doesn't want me to sleep, I won't sleep.
Sleep is for the weak.
Edit : spelling
@@Gabi-vt4ex Alpha Chads like you and me don't need sleep.
@@micro4431 this is the only time where "alpha chad" is an acceptable title lmao
@@Gabi-vt4ex lol fair enough
@OwO ur not OwO-
5:26 That's actually ilegal in many countries, companies cannot harass their employees over what they post and comment in their private social media unless is related to classified information about their jobs or clients.
14:45 “You can tell they vaccinated that kid”
Yeah cus he’s still alive
28:03 this is actually kind of true. If you get air bubbles in your vein or artery it's called an embolism. the air bubbles can kill you.
Was hoping somebody else knew this other than just me.
@@GeneralKenobiSIYE cheater
@@crow8737reteach
@@crow8737nvm it would be retaehc
This didn't age well huh
this channel is the best thing that ever happened to reddit youtube
@its fine stop
agree
R/PinThatComment
Giofilms
@@sheamusgrant oh my god
I miss him
Hope hes doing well
I love the part where Damien just laughs at his own jokes.
So fun fact on the A&W burger: people did actually recognize that it was bigger, but the problem was people didn’t want a burger that big, and A&W lost a lot of money on it, and they pulled a hot coffee and started spreading info to blame customers rather than admit they sold a product no one wanted; it was especially prevelent among the higher ups who came up with the idea and were too embarrassed to admit they were out of touch
tbh a burger that big and cheap seems kinda like a steal
@@animeguy6752 they did mark it up quite considerably according to my grandparents who used to eat their; it was a little under twice the price of a Big Mac at at time, which might be the reason it didn’t do too hot
Kind of funny how corporations have been pulling this kind of gaslighting for years, yet everyone believes Disney when they say their movies only bombed from racist backlash
Your "fun fact" is even more stupid. People didn't want a burger that big? What in the world are you talking about? 1/3 pound compared to 1/4 pound is not really such a big difference. It's literally only 1.3 ounces heavier. But for the same price, why not?
Majority of people are just stupid and suck at fractions. Tho, A&W could learn a lesson and make a 2/6 pounder.
Thank you.
Thank you for explaining that.
I really, REALLY needed to hear that.
That Fourth of July PTSD thing where the jackass got pissed off because of "liberals getting triggered" actually made me extremely upset. My cousin served in Iraq, had to watch his whole squad die and sustained serious bodily injury. His platoon went over IEDs. He survived but he has really bad PTSD, so much so that a balloon popping can cause issues. The fact that he saw the word "tiggered" and immediately jumped to Liberals is extremely infuriating to me. On a side note, though, he is triggered by the word triggered
I can't claim to understand what your cousin went through but I feel really sorry for him.
@@404cheeseburgernotfound5 I appreciate it, and I'm sure he does too. That is the worst part of war, in my mind: some of the people who are out there fighting will never be the same
If that person who gets triggered by "triggered" meets his clone he'll probably go
- stop getting triggered-
- Stop getting triggered-
- STOP GETTING TRIGGERED-
- *STOP GETTING TRIGGERED*-
and so on.
It's a pity (?idk how it's on english properly i used google translate) for your cousin though, wish him well.
@@jakcesleepingrn5739you’re good, you speak better English then Americans -American
I have PTSD, but it is caused by Childhood Trauma, I have the urge to coward if an older male talks sternly to me, even just a slightly raised voice.
4:05 alternative universe: man gets high and walks to the store, only to drive home, forgetting the fact he walked there.
wait a fucking second
HOLD ON. . .
HUH?!
@@wackyanimations3326 Took me a second.. I think that that means he stole a car because he thought it was his and forgot he walked there.
@@thickskulls I do that everytime I don't understand
@@ilovehomosuck5675 Just like the ducks at the park, the cars are free.
28:08 he is actually right here, if the air gets into your bloodstream it can cause a massive gap in the bloodstream which cause your heart to stop beating and your body just collapses
Yea
"I ate the cotton yesterday"
Damien: "you
*WHAT"*
Nice inspired comment :>
"is Spongebob on Netflix? No, it's not, it never will be."
Canadian Netflix with its ONE season of Spongebob: we just barely made the cut. Just BARELY.
Australian Netflix has two of the films. I remember seeing some of the show at some point, but it must've been taken down.
Australian Netflix having most or all of the show
Ha peasant
i have spongbob on netflix with all its seasons and movies
UK netflix has it
It probably never will be now because Paramount+ exists. That's where all the SpongeBob is.
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. Ding A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, ding
Agreed
i can relate *SO* much!! 😋😋😈
Wow really deep comment
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is hell.
yes
18:25 and someone’s parents literally did pay the money but they was a waiting list so the kid couldn’t go and the money was not refunded
33:26 Rockets don’t go straight up because they would fall back down if they did.
Usually the goal is to get to an orbit and that requires tangential (horizontal) speed.
It has nothing to do with the rotation of the earth.
I was going to comment basically the same thing but the rotation of the Earth can be a benefit too if you launch in the same direction as the rotation. Best if done close to the equator for maximum speed which is why the US launches from TX and FL. 🚀
@@adamreab3899 indeed, starting at the equator and speeding up in the same direction as the rotation of the earth gives a tangential speed head start of over 1600 km/h.
Jack, 1 pence difference in this country is like getting a dollar as a child in your country, its really not that much but psychology make you think otherwise
its 100th of a pound, its more like getting a cent in america or 2 australian cent
More like a penny in America.
speaking of a small difference, Actually that 39.99 controller was 42.98 to the seller. Taxes are a thing. So technically they're selling it for the same period the paid which they can do lol
33:28 this happens because the rocket needs to not just go up, but sideways to get to orbital velocity. To get to space, go up. To stay in space, go sideways really really fast.
I was looking for this comment
ACTUALLY
Even rockets that are leaving Earth entirely behind, still go sideways on the way up, because it's cheaper (costs less fuel).
@@theuncalledfor yeah they use gravity to their advantage to slingshot off at the perfect time, damn boffins think their smart or something XD
I was literally about to comment this
9:21 the energy in that "you *WHAT*:
I always had low self esteem because I grew up with special Ed classes but theses people make me feel like a genius.
same
At least "special education" is still education.
These people sound like they never went to school.
I'm surprised they can even read.
@@theuncalledfor you know who else isn’t able to read
Gen alpha kids
mfs don’t even know what state they live in, or even how to engage in a proper conversation, yet they know swear words
@@maxalon2479
OK boomer.
@theuncalledfor he’s not wrong
The mans shirt isn’t missing the second part, the data of the shirt is incomplete and the reader is supposed to assume 2 is those who can’t, fucking love it
Oh really… r u sure
Your profile picture is so hard to look at my guy..
the data isnt incomplete, the statement itself is the extrapolation.
12:31
My dad has that shirt and it is amazing when people don't get it
"She's your daughter not your date"
based on looking at the rest of the billboard, it looks like it'd be a support hotline for incest, calling incest out followed by a number you can call.
"Getting drunk is never an excuse"
calling out people who say they didnt mean to because they were drunk, this also could help people who have been a victim of incest realise that it was actually still the other persons fault
that billboard is helpful
ps: if you dont get it, not everyone who commits incest wants to, a lot of the time it could be that a parent came onto their child without the childs wishes.
yeah, i don’t understand the facepalm of that one.
@@spinecrusherr I guess the idea is that it's something so obvious you don't need a billboard for. But it's still probably helpful for various reasons
@@himanbam tbh knowing how some people are, many would just shut up and excuse it with "ive never gotten drunk before, but i assume you lose control of your body? So its fine" and try to be "nice" without thinking how this person literally just fucked up their life
yeah i didnt understand that one-
I asted muh mumma-wyfe to eggsplane duh feysparm onn dat won az well. Shi slapted mi arpside da hed an toll mi ta keyp lichen.
I wish there was a way to save Damien’s sheer joy when he read “ free rectal photography” 10:20
“Oh boy! Oh boy!”
8 subreddit suggestions:
Robin:
-r/sbubby
-r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it)
Jack:
-r/ComedyCemetery
-r/garfieldminusgarfield
-r/BreadStapledToTrees
Lexi:
-r/notlikeothergirls
-r/Chadtopia
-r/ofcoursethatsathing
This is my 363rd day of doing this, hope they're all done soon.
Holy shit u are a madlad, damn it take my like
@its fine yes, I do know that it’s good to promote muslim, but PLEASE, don’t promote it on RUclips, some people are sensitive and might send hate comments, again, please don’t promote Islam in youtube.
bruj has been doing this for almost a year
Two days more and you do it for exactly an entire year. You Sir, belong to r/madlads
@Bárt Brokovník Well they'll still be a madlad for fooling each one of us lol, also they happen to be a great geometry dash player, so they automatically belong to r/madlads lmao
0:30 It is 50% more because you take half of 12(6) and add it to 12 which is 18
0:25 I understand their logic, even if it is wrong.
50% of 12oz is 6oz. 12oz+6oz=18oz
Damien is wrong
tf you mean "even if it is wrong"
it aint wrong at all, 50% more is equal 1.5x (or 150%) of the amount
so 12 + 12*0.5 -> (6) = 18
@@Kitsunegami I know the math is correct, I mean Damien’s logic. He doesn’t think it is correct XD
0:20 50% of 12 is 6 you add 6 to 12 boom 150% so 18oz, They're not wrong
Jack entirely missed the joke about how the gear shift was in the wrong order, where the only 2 that were correct were first and reverse.
First, reverse and sixth gear were in the correct order. my car manual transmission goes like this:
R 1 3 5
I _I__I__I
I I I
2 4 6
@@silverwolfgaming4042 you are right, but if your car has 5 gears, the reverse goes in the 6th gear spot, or atleast in Europe(my dad has a van like that, thought I’d share)
@@gergomarton4260 not necessarily, no. It depends on the maker. My car is 5 speed, and the reverse is as shown above. As far as I am aware, most cars from the VW group or at least this era of VW group have this layout.
VW is of course super popular in Europe...
@@Strongest_under_heaven i’m sorry I can’t believe how FUCKING DUMB I AM FUCK MY LIFE I HATE MY MEMORY my dad literally has a VW van, and I have a picture of it with the gears visible, and it is like how you say they are. I’m such an idiot lol, but do those cars exist or would it be dumb?(the ones that have gears like how I said they were)
@@Strongest_under_heaven yep all about the maker, Porsche and Mazda both have reverse in the first position, it's actually less common for them to be under another gear to avoid accidentally going into reverse while upshifting. Also why it's more common these days for a safety lock of some description to avoid going into reverse at all unless intentional.
If i'm trans i'd totally be okay with being called a transformer. I get to be called a cyber shapeshifting car.
@Leaf he-him OH MY GOSH LOOK ITS TRANSFORMER lol :D
You need to be in one of the videos hahaha
As a trans person yes I would love that
@@AHHHHHHHHHHHH69 Hello transformer! How is your day?
I hope I made you happy 😊
key word: IF
"You know she wrote the books, right?" really doesn't apply when it comes to J K Rowling. Her Twitter posts are the best argument I've ever seen for DOTA in literary analysis.
Dota the game?
@@Actually_Alice_Orchid DOTA the literary analysis concept. "Death of the Author." It means a work should stand on its own and once it is published, barring reprints, should be free of authorial input. I usually think it's a boneheaded concept pushed by arrogant idiots who want to ply others' hard work to make political points, but then there are people like Rowling who will flagrantly contradict their own hard work to make political points (like saying she never said Hermione was white- she did, actually), associating political points with the work that are entirely unrelated to its content (like her whole TERF thing) and saying shit she (presumably) know sounds dumb as hell for shock value (like that before they had plumbing wizards would just relieve themselves where they stood and disapparate it somewhere). Some of it I can buy (like Dumbledore being gay; I felt he came off as asexual, but I don't know if Rowling even knows or believes there are people who don't want to have sex in general), but I don't think those few minor clarifications would be a huge loss in exchange for ignoring the sheer quantity of utter bullshit she writes about, rather than in, her own books. It's like she regrets writing a new generation's Lord of the Rings because she realised she wanted to be more of a Piers Anthony than a JRR Tolkien.
@@vitriolicAmaranth you could have just said no
@@Maseruxer Yes, but I didn't.
@@vitriolicAmaranth r/madlad?
49:02 I love that he used his Ask The Audience lifeline, and 29% of the audience trolled him.
The mustard one at the first 30 seconds is actually right lol
cause you have 12+50% of 12 which is 12+6 which equals 18
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!!! But you're just some duud and I know I'm a moron, so I demand more confirmation
@@elenaa8436 delete this
They're facepalming the picture, not the maths.
@@anawesomepet I hope so, this clearly got lost in translation.
@@anawesomepet Ohhhh I thought it might be that but irony can be hard to tell apart from people being serious with how stupid humans are
0:34
The only person in this that deserves a facepalm is op,
and _not_ the person they're facepalming.
Because half of 12 is 6, and 12 + 6 is 18.
literaly I was bouta comment this exact same thing
ye i commented that same thing
The bottle is designed to look like a "50% extra for free!" kinda bottle, but closer examination reveals they're just bragging about a bigger bottle.
Belongs in r/assholedesign.
@@theuncalledfor its designed to show its a larger product, but not specifically "for free"
but even if it was, its still not facepalm
@@Kitsunegami
No, it looks exactly like the packages that have a temporarily larger amount of content, while keeping the same price as the regular, smaller pack. You have to look closely to see that it's just bigger, without the discount this normally implies.
There is no reason to use this kind of advertisement to announce a larger pack size.
44:58
Sometimes I feel like I’m being really babied for no reason, then I feel bad. Then I see people do stuff like this and have someone else help them through it and I feel so much better
Just a little tip, the city ‘Leicester’ at 27:05 is pronounced ‘Lester’. I was born in the exact hospital mentioned in the video and just had to check if I still had mine.
"Leekester"...? Oh FFS 😂😂😂
The way he just quietly says “dawg… ptsd”
0:38 That is correct, adding 50% of 12 (6) to 12 is 50% more
30:00 me who lives in the Netherlands and thus has spongebob on netflix:
"Wait you guys are not getting spongebob?"
Got the same thought lol, and im living also somewhere else
Yeah, i live in germany and why they ain't got no SpongeBob in America?
I love the random cut to- "It is like, 100 degrees in my room so I am sweating my life away, it is, disgusting." Best cut I have ever witnessed. Keep up the good work you guys!
hearing Damien laugh hysterically always just puts a smile on my face
Only if it wasnt so forced everytime
24:16
did this guy just say 1056 POUNDS and 99 CENTS??
44:16 - Crows are actually intelligent enough that I could see them egging on a raccoon to harass dogs (probably by copying a dog bark to make the raccoon think the dogs are harassing him - Yes, crows can do mimicry)
He also called the raccoon an opossum 😂
24:22 1056 pounds and 99 cents over? I'd better call my bank and ask what currency they're using!
“Jathon Derulo” made me laugh way too much!
50% more is +50% 50% of 12 is 6 12+50%=18 the math is right
☝️🤓
You are correct, it was 50%.
"Save yourself from buying a car and buy a $0.01 gaming laptop"
You didn't even notice the picture shows a _desktop_ gaming PC.
18:48 the D.C trip for me was $500, where it the extra $2,500 dollors coming from.(the 500 is the total for the hotel and transportation, no money was provided by the school or any other entity for the trip)
14:01
robin: "wow, that's one way to do it my dude, or you could buy a three dollar mask from target and save yourself the trouble"
me: "just let natural selection do its thing robin"
3:28 Wherever this is, I bet the Purge alarm goes off at 6pm .
27:40 homer the nsc member wasn't angry and did not want her to be fired he was just teaching her proper language for a nasa worker
33:23 The rocket bends because it's going into orbit. If it didn't, the ship would have to keep running to counter gravity even hen it reaches space. It's a myth that you float in space because there's no gravity; the real reason is that you're in orbit. You would have to go very far away from Earth in order to actually not have gravity, and even then there's still an extremely tiny bit.
ok random, but injecting only oxygen straight into veins can actually be dangerous
Yea it is, had it once almost died
@@coppertom6714 oh man, sorry :/
i'm always scared it will happen bc i often get meds in iv
@@heddja wanna know how I felt like when it happened?
@@coppertom6714 how did it feel?
@@heddjaI was feeling really bad and in pain
1:00 “Just give me the virus link” Lmao- 💀
06:11 Baltimore Ravens: Our source is that we made it the fuck up.
Dude i was going to make that joke screw you :(
12:31 for anyone not understanding the joke like Damien, extrapolation is defined as "the action of estimating or concluding something by assuming that existing trends will continue or a current method will remain applicable", the joke is that the second type of person is someone who can't extrapolate from incomplete data
22:30 This is obviously a joke question. I’ve encountered dozens of these on Quora.
But let’s take this question seriously then: obviously it is because the nanomachines fly between the router and the device, carrying internet particles in their microscopic hands :3
tbh the crows probably were "egging on" the raccoon
sounds like something a crow would do
Those darn, pesky cows!! At least pigs are reliable.
@@macgyver42563 say that to my face
Recently found this channel and Damien is quickly becoming my favorite, love this man
Welcome to the community!!
as a British person, I love how Damien said “Lee-cester” instead of “Lester” (spelled Leicester) at 27:05 lol
Glad to know I could block Robyn's front door with a curtain rod and he just thinks its off center 😂😂
27:00 they even had a metal bucket in the background that would’ve helped
One of the first EmKay "ALL OF" videos i've actually finished. r/FacePalm is pretty entertaining. Keep it up EmKay!
48:54 petition to make "Llamathrust" into a real unit of measurement
45:42 I thought my GPU was dying, scared the crap outta me
Fr
16:09 this is actually genius, she’d just do a full spin with her hand out and smack your face midway through
23:25 they work by putting high voltage trough something for a short time , then it creates a magnetic feild that instantly has no more current to stay active and there yeets itself as an electromagnetic wave , also you require like 20GHz
Then you get an atena or a coil , it gets very small voltage you add an amplifier circut and so you get usable info
18:14
My family couldn't afford for me to go, so my mom did like a Facebook thing. It was around when Wednesday got popular. She was crocheting snoods and she did a raffle that was $5 a ticket. She got over like $300 out of it and some of her friends donated money to me directly. One of them gave me 5 $20 bills in a card. I got to keep all the extra money too and i had a lot of fun so yay :)
27:45 Homer later clarified that he had nothing to do with the firing, and possibly had even advocated for her.
I did say is in the actual video where Jack went over r/facepalm, but I'll say it again.
Some people believe that the earth is a giant snow globe, and the firmament is a giant crystal dome.
Michael bum
10:45 "I CaN'T bELieVe THat dOg HaS wHIte fUr, hE's a sUPrEmAciSt"
The rocket one was also like that because it's easier to leave the atmosphere at an angle than when going straight up
42:52 correct me if I’m wrong but the gear order is wrong and every the narrator said was wrong was right
Yes, gear 1,3 and 5 are in the top and 2, 4 (and 6) are on the bottom. Reverse can be under the 5th or before the 1st.
(R) 1 3 5 not 1 2 3
2 4 (6)R 4 5 6 R
@@anka7602
It would be incredibly dangerous, and probably highly illegal, to design a car with the wrong gear order, because drivers do not look at the stick while driving. It's supposed to be intuitive, because shifting into the wrong gear at the wrong time can damage the vehicle.
As a result, people who actually drive manual should immediately notice that this moron got the gear order wrong - which tells me he either doesn't drive manual, or he does but is so stupid that he never noticed the wrong order.
10:26
I mean, it's not wrong, we are, you worked with Lexi too so you now have at least two examples of proof 😂
All of these “best ofs” make me think emkay will end, don’t
I don't think it will, just because they are still doing regular uploads, unlike DeeLee where the last few videos have only been these compilations.
18:30 tf my middle (and high, for that matter) have never offered any trip to anywhere on the east coast
8:30
That one actually *do* make sense.
What he's saying is that *with* her he percieves times as moving quicker.
While without her it's going at normal speed.
I thought of it as "When I'm with you every Min matters but without you I just watch the hour pass by"
@@nehpets216 I thought of it as them being stupid af
Jack: Next we will teach tax evasion (not really)
Yoshi: Already know how to.
4:30 ok this one got me wayyyyyy tooooo early. Some people today
26:47 Whoa, that is one trippy image, did not expect it to reflect this much.
For a second I thought this was a hole in the floor with a dude wearing a bucket on his head standing below the hole on the floor below.
I guess it's because it's cropped so small, it reflects only stuff not shown elsewhere in the image.
I was gonna say "Good Robin impression" but then I realized
*Octopus: You eat me, i kiss you...deal.*
LOL
24:49 oh that's a laugh of PURE joy and I love it
1:58 YOU CAN SEE ITS THE SAME HOUSE TOO, ITS IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE FIRST IMAGE
Absolute masterpiece of a channel love it
We need more one hour long emKay vids
I haven't seen this channel in months and I can remember seeing all of this. I am only like 5 minutes into it but still.
33:30 "Maybe it's because the Earth's rotating so it's not going to be going straight up." How fast do you think the Earth rotates?
Rockets go sideways like that because getting to space isn't the hard part. Space is only 100 miles (160 km) away. The hard part is staying there. What goes up must come down, and if you go straight up, you fall straight back down. Rockets go sideways really, really fast so that, by the time they come back down, they've missed the Earth and "down" is in a different direction. This is why orbits exist. The ISS, for instance, is still experiencing about 90% of sea-level gravity, it's just in a constant state of free-fall.