Samantha is the embodiment of girl power: powerfull, succesfull, own her sexuality,drama free, a great friend. That show is meh without her!!!! nexttttt
@@heathergillespie4904 yes yes! I can totally see sjp pushing this to feel young and hot again.. without realizing it will be embarrassing when no one watches without samantha
I just cut 3 friends off for similar reasons and felt bad about it. After watching this, I don't feel bad anymore. A lot of people feel obligated to stay friends forever no matter what.
I cut off a “friend” during the pandemic and feel great. No longer do I have to listen to someone flaunt her terrible spending problem and talk about how free she is to risk her life while people “like you” (immunocompromised) have to stay inside. Good riddance, girl.
SJP thought she was the star of the show but Kim Cattrall was the reason EVERYONE tuned in She was the best friend, accepting and understanding and free from the drama (for the most part)
Nah, I was way more invested in the other 3 and especially Carrie. SJP didn't "think" she was the star of the show, she was the actual main character and the one who had the most complex scenes emotionally. Not trying to fight, everyone is welcome to love Samantha and dislike Carrie
@@YesNo-dm4dx If Samantha was real I'd assume she was a sex addict. I believe a lot of men are sex addicts, as well, but keep getting told they're "Just being men." Feminism is about women's liberation from men, and being respected equally to men. It's not about copying every unhealthy aspect of male culture.
This video is so validating. I cut off a narcissistic friend in 2020. I tried to calmly explain to her how her words and actions hurt me. But in true narcissistic form she turned the whole thing around, made herself the victim, and did not take accountability for anything. I don't think she even heard a word I said. After that, I ghosted her. At first I felt bad about it, but not anymore! I am so much happier not having someone tear me down everytime I'm happy about something. You aren't obligated to stay friends with someone who has no respect or love for you 👋
Oh my gosh, I can totally relate!! I had to ghost mine a year ago around this time. She was a alcoholic and EVERY time things with a new man didn’t work out, she would hit the bottle HARD! I have a son and at the last straw, he was 4 and we both were super sick ( I had a massive infection and a walk in dr gave me the wrong antibiotics and I had a massive reaction and my throat was closing up) and she got pissed off because I wouldn’t answer the phone every hour on the hour. Even though I explained I was horribly sick and I had no voice she kept calling and accused me of “not being there for her”, etc... Sometimes ghosting is the only viable solution when you’re dealing with these type of people and good for you for sticking up for yourself! You will be better off and you did the right thing.
OMG I just did this two weeks ago to a guyfriend. He wrote this long email about how I was disrespectful for not dating him. I basically said I still don’t and then blocked him after he keep calling me. Nope don’t feel bad this video makes me feel I did the right thing.
Relatable! I allowed my "friend" too stay in my house while overseas. She replayed my kindness by her friends stealing my belongings and smoking meth in my home. She turned it all around. I have had nothing to do with her for 2 years now and life is great. Same girl who blocked me previously because she asked me legitimately if she was the prettiest girl O had ever seen. I said well v supermodels are better looking and probably normal people too, like chill out. Should have been my first warning LOL. Oh she also was an alcoholic and turned up to my kids party visible wasted and spewed on my carpet and didn't tell me.
Real talk: I always hated Serena and never understood how they forgave her over and over again. She was irredeemable after she ruined Yale for Blair. You don't ruin your best friends whole future and biggest dream just because you feel like it.
Her whole personality was "I don't want people to judge me for my past even though that past was like two days ago, I also wanna keep doing the same things and cause problems that others gotta resolve them because I'm rich and pretty"
I find friend breakups more traumatic than romantic breakups. I ask for NOTHING from my friends and take them as they are. (And I don't mean I put romantic relationships over platonic ones... I mean that my best friends can be trashy messes and I still look at them like like they're fabulous, and likewise, my friends see me at my worst and love me regardless.) But in romance, I expect a partner to step up, because I step up. If you're failing in friendship? Where you DON'T need to prove anything and you aren't asked of anything?? Bruh. That's heartbreaking. The only rule in friendship is just to be genuinely nice to your friends. :(
When i ended my friendship with some fake ass "friend" i took uber to my house and ugly cried the whole way there lol And i cried days after. Now I see she was always a weird hating bitch lowkey
Same! My biggest heartbreak i cannot even look back on because it hurts so bad is a friendship with my childhood friend. Worst part is i tried few times to go back to it and then went nope nope nope this is not good for me and it happend all over again. Last time we hanged out was 2 years ago and I hope that is the end now
4:30 The whole point of Sex and City was to breakdown social barriers as to what was possible for women "of a certain age". It was to promote the idea that women in their 30s and 40s can be fully actualized human beings, who can have careers, hobbies, and desires to enjoy and pursue fulfilling sex lives outside of marriage and children. Now, this seems self-evident, but in the 90s the concept was more novel. Now, these same women are in their 50s and you basically seem to be implying here that the stories and lives of women in this age bracket are uninteresting, not worth telling, seeing and exploring. Maybe this is a good thing. Sorry, the world has to accept that women can't be "forever 21" or even "forever 35". Women age...and our lives deserve to be explored beyond the 22-45 age bracket. If done well, how powerful would it be to see these women who we've been following since their early thirities grapple with life in interesting ways in their mid-fifties? Unlike all the other "isms" I will never understand ageism....it is 100% self-defeating. All of us will have to kneel before father time at some point. That's the one thing we all have in common. Why do we screw our future selves over like this?
I think the idea is that SATC is about their vibrant sex lives. It's 20 years later. Sex slows down, for most people, the older you get. Women can be happy and successful at any age. But, if they aren't revealed to be sexy in their 50's, they will have tarnished the brand. It was meant to be about a specific time in their lives like high school or college
As someone who is scared of aging physically and mentally; but knowing that its inevitable, i love seeing women in their 50s-60s still having fun, living fulfilling lives, etc
The flip side of that is expecting women (and men, and basically any type of person at one time considered desirable) to mantas that ultra high level of sexual attractiveness and sexual desire way into their older age. I’m not saying people over 45 don’t have sex or can’t be sexy, but let’s be honest. One of the big perks of getting older is not giving a fuck anymore about keeping up with the Joneses, and more socially acceptable to let go a bit and focus on other things. Yes, the show was very ground breaking in the 90s. Come the movies and the characters and storylines became stale (except for Miranda in movie one). Not sure how empowering it will be to see 50+ women be sexy by just wearing expensive shoes and drinking cocktails.
You're absolutely right Shallon, people outgrow one another and sometimes it's best not to stick around those who just...wear you down. Definitely opening myself up to people who make me feel good and be good!
This video was SPOT ON. Going through a very difficult divorce last year really put a bright spotlight on the friends who are just continual drama that I don’t have the energy for anymore. You nailed it when you said “they just don’t lift me up.” Once I realized that about some of the friends in my life that have been there for decades, I knew I had to just let them go. It was hard but I feel so much healthier and like I have control over my life (which was the purpose of my divorce).
My favorite was always Miranda, because she reminds me of my mom. She seems cold and uncaring but that's just a shield to hide the soft underbelly and when you see that side of them, you realize how just amazing they are
It was pretty low of Shallon to talk shit about so-called "butch" women, as if it's shameful to not spending inordinate amounts of time and money on your appearance/trying to appeal to the male gaze rather than just investing time and energy in your career and other important attributes men are encouraged to pursue, regardless of who you fail to please/appease in doing so...
@@tearsofawaterfall2656 that's one of the best parts about the show in my opinion. Sam, Miranda and Charlotte grow a lot over the series. They start out as stereotypes but as time goes on they change, they become better people, in large part because of each other. Carrie is the only one that stays the same and keeps making the same mistakes. And don't even get me started on Big vs Aiden lol
I knew to tap out with a friend when I’d only hear from her when her life was going to hell, I’d be the shoulder to cry on, the one giving the advice and do the big cheer up, but the second I went through a life changing 2014 - a break up of a 9 year relationship and moving out of the home I’d helped to build. she had zero interest. I was on the floor (emotionally) and all she cared about was not being able to stay at my house as she’d planned to....I didn’t have a show down I just ignored a text and I never heard from her again and I feel lighter for it 👍🏻
The word ‘toxic’ is like the word ‘narcissist’ 🙄🙄🙄 everybody’s ex-anything is a narcissist these days and that word makes me so involuntarily and *irrationally* mad
I totally understand the drinking thing, too: having a hangover absolutely DESTROYS me the next day, so I just avoid drinking excessively at all costs. Even if I have like 3 drinks or something, I avoid liquor because that's what absolutely wrecks me the next day.
Yassssss! I had to do that too this year. Friends who aren’t bad friends, they’re just very stagnant. Always talking about change or things they want to do but never doing it and no amount of encouragement will help them. Staying in toxic relationship cycles. It’s like I love you but you bum me out.
Remember when Carrie was mad that Charlotte didn’t offer her all that money? And she was in debt because of her odd shoe obsession? Ik it’s not real but I can’t see SJP the same again that was SO JARRING
I knew someone who actually did this. To my sister. "But you make more money than me and were friends I can't believe you aren't giving me any you aren't a real friend" (after living on my sister's couch rent free for a year! )Ppl like this actually exist. Girl bye!
@@AliciaM5555 what? just you thinking that it's okay to ask someone to give you money just because they have a lot of it worries me...them giving you out of their own kindness is another topic, but personally even then I wouldn't accept.
Thank you so much Shallon! Not my circus not my monkey has been the greatest mantra that I have started speaking to myself in 2020 and I am continuing to use it. You've been such an incredible blessing!
i found a really good way to get rid of a psychotic 'friend' which you're worried will react badly, is to make it THEIR choice. I literally became the most BORING, whiny, lousy company, pretended i had always lost my phone so she couldn't borrow it, was in debt so she couldnt ask for money, always missed her calls because i was 'asleep, and maybe coming down with something', acted absolutely DUMB, and as if i didn't understand her jokes, i literally went the whole 9 yards. all out, and she got fed up of me because i wasn't 'useable', and found another victim lol. i know she went around telling people i was the dumbest, laziest girl ever, but it' was the lesser of 2 evils, because she would have blown up if i cut her off directly. i only behaved like that with her, so when she said that, i know damn well no one believed her xD
I recently took a step back from a long term friendship over a disagreement. It wasn't just the situation that caused me to step back, but my friend's reaction to my feelings - she completely gaslit me and refused to be accountable when I caught her in a lie. What's worse is that she gave me the "after everything I've done for you" rhetoric before crying in one of our lengthy chats. I was accused of being cold, however I had to go Grey Rock to survive an onslaught of abuse about how over-sensitive and crazy I am. We managed to move past things, but our friendship is most definitely at an arms length, and completely sponsored by a third national lockdown.
This is revisionist history. Samantha was COMPLETELY one dimensional. All her story lines were the same until the last two seasons. In fact, she was the most one dimensional character of the four. All her story lines were the same: meet a guy, hook up, hijinks ensued based on how bad or good the sex was, then she'd never see the dude again. Literally every single episode this was her storyline. As such, her character was stunted. There was no room for her to grow with that kind of material. The character of Samantha didn't get layered until she met Richard and Smith. Those relationships challenged her and allowed the viewers to see more of who she could be. I'll defend Miranda to the end. Her character evolved into more of the "every woman" than even Carrie. Miranda was cynical, had a dry sense of humor, slightly socially awkward, but took no shyt, and was fashionable (towards the end of the series). That's why she was the first to have it all. She was the first to buy her apartment, get married (and stay married), have a kid, have a solid career trajectory. She was perfectly imperfect...the total package. Now, she was presented as super harsh during the first season, but every subsequent season she was softened and presented from different angles.
100% this comment! Miranda has long been my favorite out of the 4. Samantha was largely a hollow character who lived a life of hedonism to no great purpose. As you said, Richard and Smith brought out a vulnerable side to Samantha (beautifully played by Kim) but without those 2 characters anchoring her story, she basically had no story. People love Samantha for her boldness but to me she's more an iconic archetype than a real full-bodied character (still love her, though).
SJP doesn’t need the money. She’s probably bored OR HBO is the one not seeing too far ahead in terms of prospects. SATC wasn’t necessary imo and it seems everyone involved knows it.
Thank you!!! I hated the movies. It's cringey that SJP etc keeps flogging a dead horse. Plus Samantha to me was the woman we wished we could be. Her confidence and sexiness and one liners still resonate for me. Not sure how it's going to work with the three of them and not include Samantha.
SJP is such a terrible actress imo. Being Carrie is all she has. One trick pony. She's not funny, several movie flops under her belt. Not really pretty even in the girl next door way. Remember Failure to Launch? Poor Matthew McConaughey, she could have almost played his mother. I think you're right, they need to drop it.
I live in Vancouver and my friends who worked on the fifty shades set said Jamie and Dakota got on fine but they both hated the script and we're just so over it
Thank you for saying this. I'm tired of this rumor. Jamie and Dakota were in fact quite close. The first film was an outright war between ELJ versus the director and screenwriter. Then for the last two films, J&D lost their champion and had to get used to a new director. And as an executive producer, the author wouldn't budge on certain aspects of the script.
I find it so difficult to deal when I’m constantly working on myself- always trying to be true to myself- but when your the only one trying to change for the better- but everyone else around u stays the same!! It’s so frustrating!!!! Esp when it’s family !!!
Shallon - I promise to the heavens I am NO longer fixing other people and their issues...figure your own shit out. I have recently outgrown a few friends (and some who were never my friend) and I'm totally okay with this. The problem with many people is that "when you grow, they usually don't get the memo" and they want you to be that same person you've always been for them. Sorry ladies, Im completely letting go of that 'uber empathetic co-dependent' person, that these friends got use to!! Im not doing it!! Like enough already getting involved with men who are waiving red flags!! Get your life together and stop asking me for advice. Figure it out for yourself!! Nope not gonna tell them, I can just simply STFU..and not say anything..
Issues like this arise when someone doesn’t fall in line with the group’s unwritten rule. In this case, it looks like SJP was the star and Kim’s on and offscreen presence seems to have challenged that. The beef kicked up when Kim’s brother died if you recall. At its core it seems Kim and SJP are two polar opposite personalities. Kim’s just too real and unapologetically so. It doesn’t jive with the non confrontational vibe the rest want to project. I argue it’s not a toxic dynamic, but incompatible.
Even Smith hated Kim! “Listen, I would have to say that Sarah was always just so lovely and such a consummate professional, and I think that people should remember their graciousness and the things that have been given to them, and I’m going to stop there because I’ve got nothing good to say.”
Maybe SJP was threatened by Samantha's popularity; it seems as if they were about equal in that respect. But why does there have to be just one "star"? Isn't there room for everybody? What's wrong with paying Kim equal?
I agree with that. Lots of people either hating on her hard cause she is catch and got Michael. Saying all this stuff cause she upgraded and got away from Future.
Omg last year this whole girl group turned against me when my dad died, and wanted to have an intervention with me, over, I have no clue. I thought they were my best friends, I just turned away and told them “ if either of you have a problem with me you can come to me directly one by one” no one came and I ended up moving on, peacefully having them run back to me.
@@Miriam-xm7gl omg thank you, you are so sweet !! It was horrible and my bf at the time was breaking up with me. Those bitches. But I won. I realized I had to set new boundaries
I remember when my bff disrespected my bf, she was joking but was a very mean joke. I called her out and left the chat group we have with our other bff. Some time later she text me something and mentioned the 'ending of our friendship' I told her that we were adults now, not children (as we've known each other for 15 years) and one fight doesn't mean the end of everything, we patch things up, we love each other as always but now she knows boundaries regarding my relationships
I cut off a "toxic" friend after over 20 yrs of friendship. Its been over 10 yrs now since we've spoken. Yet, I sometimes wonder what I would say or feel obligated to say if we ever crossed paths again. In hindsight, and especially after watching your video, I see that she wasn't exactly toxic, but that (like you said) I had changed. And I had to apply different expectations and boundaries to my friendships. I was a new mother (to twins!) and I needed to focus on what was most important to me, which, in the end wasn't her. A little back story.. Growing up, Nikki was fast. Fast with boys, drugs, dropping out of school, getting pregnant. By the time we were 25, Nikki had 3 kids by 3 different guys. And the whole time I was just...the 3rd wheel. I watched this train wreck that was her life. I watched her mom bail her out of everything, get her back in school, raise her kids, pay her rent, buy her things. Basically set her up to be capable of every fundamental thing an adult should know how to do and Nikki would buck back and go chasing after some guy instead. Go party. And I felt I had no place to step in and say...hey, don't you think its time to stop taking advantage of people? To be an adult? Who was I? I still lived at home with my parents and had no kids. So just before my boys turned a year old I had an epiphany. Unfortunately it took having a blow out fight with my partner(father of my children) over Nikki sending me a video of her having sex (literally just the close up penetration part) for me to realize....no. No more. I can't have this in my life. I'm trying to build a foundation for my new family. A foundation needs trust (my man thought I WANTED to see this sex video, ugh BARF) and here she is ignorantly bringing strife into my home? No. Just no. And that was it. I basically ghosted her. And I imagine she was very hurt. As thoughtless and immature as Nikki was, her heart was still big. Perhaps that's why I stuck around all those years. Her parents still live across the street from my parents and word is, she married the father of her 3rd child and has been living in Arizona (we're in the west suburbs of Chicago)for quite some time now. Which is good. I hope she found happiness. And maybe...if we ever cross paths again, it will be the right season :)
This was a really good video and is actually related to another one I saw today about toxic friends. I think this is also called the 'Grey Rock Method'. If someone is being toxic, saying bad stuff about you, trying to be manipulative; they say to be as boring and nonreactive as possible because over time they will give up. And it's not a mean or manipulative thing, you are just preserving your peace just like Shallon said which I think is really healthy to handle these types of situations. Anyways, Happy Friday to anyone who reads this!
I thought "Girls" was the reboot? For all those young girls who moved to NYC thinking they were going to be living that life. "Sex in the City" was the fantasy, "Girls" is the reality.
I tried to watch the first episode but I thought I was going to hurl - Adam driver was disgusting & Lina Dunham had zero self respect - I had to shut it off. Idk how people can watch that
I agree that people aren't 'toxic' just because you want different things and your life is changing. But I do call abusive behaviour toxic. Where someone disrespects my boundaries, drains me even after I talk to them about it, and insults me, gaslights me, minimises or dismisses my feelings.
I totally agree. So many people talk about leaving toxic friends because it is poor investment of time. But friendship is not a business! It is sad enough the love within a company or family is getting weaker and weaker, now even the love between friends is deducted.
Had a horrific time back in 2010 with a group of snakes and learned a lot. I will never allow people in from now on and will only have acquaintances. I’m a single mum so I put my child first. I have zero time for drama and pseudo people who are generally lost causes. It took me a long time to realise that I am not here on this earth to fix people.
I did exactly what u said with all the toxic friends of mine, i followed non confrontation, also i completely blocked them from my life. Honestly at times I felt may be i was too harsh but 90% of the time I do not regret at all what I did
Omg i can totally relate with a perpetual phone call friend. I tried to put a boundary, she doubled down and I ended the friendship entirely. At first I felt really bad until I realized how much of my own life went to shit while I was an always available free emotional dumpground. No fucking way am i allowing it ever again
I have been listening to your videos today for the first time... and after the first one, I just can't stop... at first, I thought you come across kind of harsh... but, now I'm stunned how confident you are. I kind of entangled my self in toxic friendships and have been in an abusive relationship. What a rollercoaster it has been. You make it sound so easy... to make a change... and it basically f - ing is!!! Thank you, sometimes you find help and motivation where you least expect it! 💪👏 I will keep listening to you and first of all get back to my strong and confident self! Greetings from Croatia! ☮🤩
They'll never reboot gossip girl in a good way, I refuse to even watch it. Idk who they think can compare to Blair and Serena, but their out of their minds!! 🥴
After being shouted out by my “former friend” at our parents and relatives party that I looked funny even though I was in a very nice dress and I had lost weight , got over a health condition and felt so happy. I knew the friendship was over.
I agree. I had two friends one was genuinely toxic, the other was her naive follower and together they have decided I am the toxic one. Who gave these people the right to get to decide who is the toxic one! Often the one who everyone gangs up on and calls toxic is actually the victim.
I also love talking on the phone. I hate texting, especially for serious conversations. Most of my friends prefer texting so I stick to what’s comfortable for them.
When i started going to grad school and working through my depression and own toxicity, my ex friends all iced me out and even kicked me out of our apartment, telling people I had an party and alcohol issues. a year on and Im sucessful, worked on my mental health and dont really drink or party but they now have alcohol problems and drug issues but still see me as the "toxic" one lol
I had a friend who was smart and funny. We had a lot in common, but she had a very narrow bandwidth for what we could do together, I think because she had a narrow bandwidth of things she would do in general . The two big drawbacks were her prejudices and backhand compliments. Since I am a nurse, I have mad coping skills and a secure ego. I decided to do those few fun things with her, but realize that she had some broken parts and ignore her little digs that sprang from her neuroses.
"...you devalue the relationship to devalue the loss." I'd have to disagree with you (for once) and say Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie weren't one-dimensional, but with that said, you're brilliant, and I get a lot hearing what you have to say.
Please make a video about Teri Hatcher and the cast of Desperate Housewives. I don't know who really was the bad guy there but if Teri wasn't guilty the subject could be what to do when others are jealous of your success.
Really agree with alot of this. I refuse to have "best friends" anymore. I have casual friends but thats it. Prefer my own company these days. Been burnt enough.
I used to trade services with someone and we became very close. However, the closer we got the more I understood her crazy life. At first I thought it was fun to hear her crazy drunken stories. Then I realized she is an bipolar alcoholic who refuses to take her meds. She started abusing our friendship and I had finally had enough. I still struggle to this day with my decision to not be friends with her. I always want to text her and touch base. But,. I cannot put myself in that situation with her again. Hopefully she is doing well.
Yes-- I had a friend with whom I had a falling out 25 years ago after we went on a week long vacation. It was just too much “together time” and as a result we lost our friendship. During the COVID-19 shutdown, however, we reconnected via telephone and it has been great.
You know @shallonlester women can be interesting at any age. I never thought I could get into being interested in people outside my age group, but lately I have watched the most precious channel about a woman who is in her sixties and her dog. Who knew? She divorced a wealthy man and had to start over in a one bedroom apartment. My heart has honestly grown from watching this. The strength. I have a thought that 2021 and maybe the years ahead will focus on what characteristics are inside each of us. We have been "inside" for so long now, everything has prepared us for a new perspective on what qualities are admirable. Youth and beauty never go out of style, but "bitchiness" I hope does. We don't need it anymore. I can feel a change in energy for this year. I tried to wear some of my high fashion clothes that I used to put on to be showy, and I just felt ridiculous in gold bangles, a fur vest, leather boots that came up over my knees. We are not in 2018 anymore. There is a major shift happening and call me crazy, but I think in the end it will unite us and make us all more loving and compassionate creatures. I am rambling here, I know, but just letting my thoughts flow to anyone who might need to read it. So much love and God Bless!
I had a very chaotic friend who I outgrew and stopped talking to for a while but then she got pregnant and I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought it changed her for the better but somehow found myself in chaos again (the only difference is now there’s a crying baby too) I blocked her and kept it moving..
Awe I hope Shallon meets a soulmate that allows her to have life long positive companionship. Its already whole, peaceful, and patient. Much love to Shallon!!!!!
Please make a video about Jamie and Dakota. It’s never looked like a feud. I thought they were friends. From the outside it looks like he’s an alcoholic. Dakota seems like such a badass.
@@stoeberhund I have heard he’s gay not bisexual. Shallon insinuated that in this video. I have heard rumors that he’s in the closet and SJP is his beard.
@@AliciaM5555 Maybe they are great parents together? Maybe they support each other’s career like no one else could? I’d it works for them, then why is it sad?
Usually like shallon’s analysis, however this is a bit different. I’m not so sure Kim is toxic for one thing. I think she just doesn’t want to be associated w/this character anymore. I mean good lord how long as it been since Kim played that roll. She’s a older now in her 60’s. She says that SJP and perhaps the rest of the cast cut her off from communication. Sounds like they were all mean, maybe even bullies. And seems like they were never friends, or are not friends now. I don’t agree that Kim’s character is only thing good bout the show. I liked Carrie in the show. I really liked SJP. I liked Samantha i suppose. Her character was never satisfied w/one man. No one could satisfy her. She was a bit callus where feelings and love were concerned.
I agree with this. It wasn't a money thing.....don't you think "they" would have paid any price she stipulated? She's the fan fave! and she has lots of money so Money was clearly not the deal-breaker here.
Honestly that was my favorite thing about Samantha because with her friends she has a heart of gold. But when it comes to her relationships, I'm like finally a woman gets to getaway with this. I also don't see how she does less for the audience or show by not getting into a serious relationship.
@@ellabella30 I’m sure a lot of people would say I am a prude. Samatha just plain and simple bed hopped too much for my liking. The others did some of that, but Sam in my opinion did way more. I think that was a major issue for KIm. SJP never took her top off, and Kim said that was an issue. Course SJP had a management position, and Kim did not. That is a whole other issue. In all the years of the series and the movies not once did SJP show her breast. I think it was in her contract. I did not think the movies were bad. They weren’t as good as the series, but I was entertained by them. If you sent me a copy of one of the movies, I would watch it again.
Her co star, long term boyfriend, Smith hated her. You so sure? “Listen, I would have to say that Sarah was always just so lovely and such a consummate professional, and I think that people should remember their graciousness and the things that have been given to them, and I’m going to stop there because I’ve got nothing good to say.”
I'm 28 YO and I can say that this is 100% true. Never liked ghosting at all , sounds like a thing that parasites/shitty people would do, but still this is the only way to deal with some people.
I have very high standards when it comes to friendship to a point I cut off everyone! It’s crazy! Once you realize your worth you barely stand the presence of toxic people!
it's crazy because I've always done the silence thing , but people are sooo quick to call it passive aggressive. If you're my friend and I've explained more than twice how something hurts me , it's truly a wrap . I was listening to something the other day that said "You don’t need 99 bad experiences with someone to know what kind of person you’re dealing with” and Im sticking by it. I also have 0% interest going back once the trust is broken, its best to move on in peace! Good riddance!
I’m a Blanche Devereaux gal too! I adore Rue McClanahan and remember getting so excited when I joined my sorority and found out she was a member too. Golden Girls is like comfort food to me. My grandma and I watched it together every week with our air popped popcorn and soda.
Shallon I love that you are so open to comments from those who follow your work and foster a sense of community with your channel. There are those Utubers out there who take a more hierarchical approach with their followers and create a us against them mentally with their platform. It really does takes away from their appeal, regardless of how many followers they may have.
Loved this video! What annoys me is that when a group of actresses work together it's just assumed that they should be friends because they're all women 💁🏻♀️. They're paid to do a job, not be best friends for crying out loud! I'm paid to speak to my colleagues, but that doesn't mean I want to talk them outside work. I actually had a very toxic work friend who was calling me three times a day to gossip and complain (argh!) and when I told her it was draining she went postal. I realised that she was gossiping, spreading co-workers personal information whilst pretending to be their friend and I finally realised she was doing the same to me. When I left the job and cut her off she started sending me horrible texts so I blocked her. No response. Like Shallon says, that's literally the best and most peaceful way to purge toxic people from your life.
Maybe this is a coincidence, but every time you upload, it’s usually about something I’m dealing with specifically and it freaks me out!! Haha, but jokes aside, you give good advice. I like listening to the celeb drama and how you base tips off that, I can’t believe months ago, RUclipsrs were shitting on you for being into young men, and giving “dangerous advice.” Like, not everyone has to be a fucking license therapist to be on RUclips giving out life advice! It’s like I’m sitting here talking with a good friend on what to do, I don’t have friends like that in my real life so it’s comforting to still kind of have that aspect so I’m not screwing up my life with these boys 😂👏🏻 love your videos girly!!♥️♥️☺️
Samantha is a one dimensional character imo. Actually all of the other ladies had more growth and development over the show. Charlotte and Miranda learned and changed the most. Remember when Miranda’s mom died? That was such a good episode!
Omg I clicked on this video soooo quick! I’m going through this exact situation with cutting off a friend who is extremely not good for me or my mental health. Thank you Shallon for your advice ❤️
I always knew I will grow up a Miranda, but I so wished to have at least a small bit of Samantha in me. Appreciated Charlotte cause at the end she finally was brave enough to go for the man she loved even though he did not meet of her previously set out expectations.
Samantha is the embodiment of girl power: powerfull, succesfull, own her sexuality,drama free, a great friend. That show is meh without her!!!! nexttttt
Exactly. She was pretty much the main reason I watched that show.
Agreed. Whereas carrie is a human embodiment of everything she says not to do on this channel.. disempowering in every way
My favorite character, Sam.
I thought Charlotte was annoying as heck :)
Love Samantha!
Exactly
Without Samantha there is no sex just the city
Right. There's just...city :/
Maybe that's why they're doing it to prove that SJP is the real star. But we know the truth😇
@@heathergillespie4904 yes yes! I can totally see sjp pushing this to feel young and hot again.. without realizing it will be embarrassing when no one watches without samantha
@@squreshi8413 Right🙏🏾
The city and the city
I just cut 3 friends off for similar reasons and felt bad about it. After watching this, I don't feel bad anymore. A lot of people feel obligated to stay friends forever no matter what.
I cut off a “friend” during the pandemic and feel great. No longer do I have to listen to someone flaunt her terrible spending problem and talk about how free she is to risk her life while people “like you” (immunocompromised) have to stay inside. Good riddance, girl.
@@emiliabolsas it’s like Shallon says, “they either cut you down or puff themselves up” and I think it’s time they “grew up” 😆
@@emiliabolsas Yeap..same..and to a family member..gave covid to her grandmother and others and still has an “oh well” attitude..
@@mcnodarse 😱
That's especially true for family. Too many people keep toxic family members around because they feel like they must.
SJP thought she was the star of the show but Kim Cattrall was the reason EVERYONE tuned in
She was the best friend, accepting and understanding and free from the drama (for the most part)
Nah, I was way more invested in the other 3 and especially Carrie. SJP didn't "think" she was the star of the show, she was the actual main character and the one who had the most complex scenes emotionally. Not trying to fight, everyone is welcome to love Samantha and dislike Carrie
@@YesNo-dm4dx If Samantha was real I'd assume she was a sex addict. I believe a lot of men are sex addicts, as well, but keep getting told they're "Just being men." Feminism is about women's liberation from men, and being respected equally to men. It's not about copying every unhealthy aspect of male culture.
Carrie was the worst, in my opinion
This video is so validating. I cut off a narcissistic friend in 2020. I tried to calmly explain to her how her words and actions hurt me. But in true narcissistic form she turned the whole thing around, made herself the victim, and did not take accountability for anything. I don't think she even heard a word I said. After that, I ghosted her. At first I felt bad about it, but not anymore! I am so much happier not having someone tear me down everytime I'm happy about something. You aren't obligated to stay friends with someone who has no respect or love for you 👋
Oh my gosh, I can totally relate!! I had to ghost mine a year ago around this time. She was a alcoholic and EVERY time things with a new man didn’t work out, she would hit the bottle HARD! I have a son and at the last straw, he was 4 and we both were super sick ( I had a massive infection and a walk in dr gave me the wrong antibiotics and I had a massive reaction and my throat was closing up) and she got pissed off because I wouldn’t answer the phone every hour on the hour. Even though I explained I was horribly sick and I had no voice she kept calling and accused me of “not being there for her”, etc...
Sometimes ghosting is the only viable solution when you’re dealing with these type of people and good for you for sticking up for yourself! You will be better off and you did the right thing.
OMG I just did this two weeks ago to a guyfriend. He wrote this long email about how I was disrespectful for not dating him. I basically said I still don’t and then blocked him after he keep calling me. Nope don’t feel bad this video makes me feel I did the right thing.
Did we have the same friend?!?
@@vondamone9402 I know, this video is definitely confirmation that it was the right choice.
Onwards and upwards ☺️
Relatable! I allowed my "friend" too stay in my house while overseas. She replayed my kindness by her friends stealing my belongings and smoking meth in my home. She turned it all around. I have had nothing to do with her for 2 years now and life is great. Same girl who blocked me previously because she asked me legitimately if she was the prettiest girl O had ever seen. I said well v supermodels are better looking and probably normal people too, like chill out. Should have been my first warning LOL. Oh she also was an alcoholic and turned up to my kids party visible wasted and spewed on my carpet and didn't tell me.
Real talk: I always hated Serena and never understood how they forgave her over and over again. She was irredeemable after she ruined Yale for Blair. You don't ruin your best friends whole future and biggest dream just because you feel like it.
Honestly whenever I find another person who hates serena as much as I do I think "oh, I like this person".
Serena was the absolute worst.
Horrible friend, only reason they all hung out with her was because she was pretty.
Her whole personality was "I don't want people to judge me for my past even though that past was like two days ago, I also wanna keep doing the same things and cause problems that others gotta resolve them because I'm rich and pretty"
Exactly. Why does the show make her character glamorous and supposedly role model like for most young girls
I find friend breakups more traumatic than romantic breakups. I ask for NOTHING from my friends and take them as they are. (And I don't mean I put romantic relationships over platonic ones... I mean that my best friends can be trashy messes and I still look at them like like they're fabulous, and likewise, my friends see me at my worst and love me regardless.) But in romance, I expect a partner to step up, because I step up. If you're failing in friendship? Where you DON'T need to prove anything and you aren't asked of anything?? Bruh. That's heartbreaking. The only rule in friendship is just to be genuinely nice to your friends. :(
When i ended my friendship with some fake ass "friend" i took uber to my house and ugly cried the whole way there lol
And i cried days after.
Now I see she was always a weird hating bitch lowkey
Genuinely nice and less judgmental and more loving and zero jealousy
Same! My biggest heartbreak i cannot even look back on because it hurts so bad is a friendship with my childhood friend. Worst part is i tried few times to go back to it and then went nope nope nope this is not good for me and it happend all over again. Last time we hanged out was 2 years ago and I hope that is the end now
Me, not having any toxic friends (that I know of): *”ah yes, info I need.”*
Me, having no friends at all
Yes, it is imperative that I watch this video -_-
That’s because you are the toxic friend. 🤷🏿♂️
@@kiuk_kiks lmao, go me
Yup. Cuz you never know!!!
@@kiuk_kiks 9oo9ol09olo9o9olo9ol99ol9oo9o0ol90o9oloo9o9ol99o9ol99o9o9o9ol9o99olol99o9lo9oo90ol99pol9o99o9mol9ol9olol9oo9o9lop9o999o99ol999l90o099o90olo99ool99l9o9o99o9o9o0ol9ol99olol9l90ool9poop99plplo9o99ol9oool9oolo9o9o9o9ool9o9ol0oo09o99o9ol0ol999ol9oo9o99po0olol9olp9lo99ol9op99plo0ool9ol9oo9l99o9lo0o99o0o9lo9999oloo90oll9ooo0ko99pol9o999olpoo9l9oo9ol999o9o9l0o9oloo9lo9lol99999l99o9o99oo99o9k999oo99l99oo9l99o99lo09l9o9o999o99o9999999999o9l99o99oo99o99o9o999o9o9l99ol9o9o99o09ooo9lo9ol99lo9lo9ool99oo99l99o999o999l99o99l9oloo9lo9lo99lo9o9oo9o99oo9lo9ll9o9l9o9ool999lo9o9l99ol999ooo9l9o99lo999l9lo99lo99o9999o9oo9loo9oo99o9ooo9l9l9999o99l9ooo9o99o0999999lool9o999l9o09o99ol9l9oo99lo9o9l9oo999o0999o9o9l9999o0o999oo9o9o9o9o999oo999o999o99l9o9o9l9o99o999o9o9oo9lo99o99oo9oolo9o99999lo9o9l99lo9o9ooo9looo9ol9o9lo9llo9lo999o9l9ol99o99ol9oo9o9lo9o999ol99ol9ol9oll9l9olol9oloo9o99lo9999olo99o9lol9lo99looll9o9llo99o9l9o9llo9lol9999o9o9999o9o9o99o9ol9o9l9o9loo9lo9llo9o9lo99oo9ooo9l9oooo9l999o9looo9ol9ooo99ol9oo9l9l9olo9o99oo9l99l9o99olo9l9olllo9l9ollo99lol99o99o99lool9lo99ol9l99oll9lol9l9lo9ol9o9lo99l9l9ol9ooo9l9ololo9olo9olo9l9lo9o9lo9o9lo9l99l9o999lo999l9o9ollo99lo99looo9l99o9ll9oo9lo99loo99llool9o9lo9lo9lol9ol9ll9oolo9lol9o9l9999l9o9l9llo99ol9loo9lo99l9ooo9l9ooo9l9o999o9l999lo999o9o9olo9ol9ol9ol9oo9l9ol9o9llolo99l99lo99o9lo9loo9o999o9l999o9lo99lo9l9o9oo99999o9o99o9o9o9loo999oo9l9lo9oolo99lolooloo9lolo9loo9099o99pp
Don't forget how Miranda developed over the seasons. "I want to enjoy my success not apologize!". Damn right.
4:30 The whole point of Sex and City was to breakdown social barriers as to what was possible for women "of a certain age". It was to promote the idea that women in their 30s and 40s can be fully actualized human beings, who can have careers, hobbies, and desires to enjoy and pursue fulfilling sex lives outside of marriage and children. Now, this seems self-evident, but in the 90s the concept was more novel. Now, these same women are in their 50s and you basically seem to be implying here that the stories and lives of women in this age bracket are uninteresting, not worth telling, seeing and exploring. Maybe this is a good thing. Sorry, the world has to accept that women can't be "forever 21" or even "forever 35". Women age...and our lives deserve to be explored beyond the 22-45 age bracket. If done well, how powerful would it be to see these women who we've been following since their early thirities grapple with life in interesting ways in their mid-fifties? Unlike all the other "isms" I will never understand ageism....it is 100% self-defeating. All of us will have to kneel before father time at some point. That's the one thing we all have in common. Why do we screw our future selves over like this?
I think the idea is that SATC is about their vibrant sex lives. It's 20 years later. Sex slows down, for most people, the older you get. Women can be happy and successful at any age. But, if they aren't revealed to be sexy in their 50's, they will have tarnished the brand. It was meant to be about a specific time in their lives like high school or college
Standing ovation!!!! 👏👏👏
As someone who is scared of aging physically and mentally; but knowing that its inevitable, i love seeing women in their 50s-60s still having fun, living fulfilling lives, etc
The flip side of that is expecting women (and men, and basically any type of person at one time considered desirable) to mantas that ultra high level of sexual attractiveness and sexual desire way into their older age. I’m not saying people over 45 don’t have sex or can’t be sexy, but let’s be honest. One of the big perks of getting older is not giving a fuck anymore about keeping up with the Joneses, and more socially acceptable to let go a bit and focus on other things. Yes, the show was very ground breaking in the 90s. Come the movies and the characters and storylines became stale (except for Miranda in movie one). Not sure how empowering it will be to see 50+ women be sexy by just wearing expensive shoes and drinking cocktails.
You're absolutely right Shallon, people outgrow one another and sometimes it's best not to stick around those who just...wear you down. Definitely opening myself up to people who make me feel good and be good!
I like that Kim Cattrall cut her losses and moved on, more power to her!
I always got mean girl vibes from SJP.
“10 fucking Spidernans... Fast & Furious 65” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂like do something different already.
This video was SPOT ON. Going through a very difficult divorce last year really put a bright spotlight on the friends who are just continual drama that I don’t have the energy for anymore. You nailed it when you said “they just don’t lift me up.” Once I realized that about some of the friends in my life that have been there for decades, I knew I had to just let them go. It was hard but I feel so much healthier and like I have control over my life (which was the purpose of my divorce).
I agree. Some shows/films should be left alone. Look at Mean Girls 2 LOL
It was soooo bad. I like to act like that never happen.
I never knew that there was mean girls 2 and i’d like to keep it that way
@@katrinklausa584 that’s a good decision 😆
That was completely unnecessary! It could never be as good as the first one anyway
that was such a flop
"I dont wanna know how Brady is doing with distance learning" I SCREAMED INTO MY AVOCADO TOAST!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My favorite was always Miranda, because she reminds me of my mom. She seems cold and uncaring but that's just a shield to hide the soft underbelly and when you see that side of them, you realize how just amazing they are
I have a wonderful friend like this 💕
I love Miranda, Charlotte and Sam. Carrie was so toxic snd selfish though
It was pretty low of Shallon to talk shit about so-called "butch" women, as if it's shameful to not spending inordinate amounts of time and money on your appearance/trying to appeal to the male gaze rather than just investing time and energy in your career and other important attributes men are encouraged to pursue, regardless of who you fail to please/appease in doing so...
@@tearsofawaterfall2656 that's one of the best parts about the show in my opinion. Sam, Miranda and Charlotte grow a lot over the series. They start out as stereotypes but as time goes on they change, they become better people, in large part because of each other. Carrie is the only one that stays the same and keeps making the same mistakes. And don't even get me started on Big vs Aiden lol
@@punk91 oh my god yes! My mum reminds me of Carrie... 🤦🏼♀️
I knew to tap out with a friend when I’d only hear from her when her life was going to hell, I’d be the shoulder to cry on, the one giving the advice and do the big cheer up, but the second I went through a life changing 2014 - a break up of a 9 year relationship and moving out of the home I’d helped to build. she had zero interest. I was on the floor (emotionally) and all she cared about was not being able to stay at my house as she’d planned to....I didn’t have a show down I just ignored a text and I never heard from her again and I feel lighter for it 👍🏻
The word ‘toxic’ is like the word ‘narcissist’ 🙄🙄🙄 everybody’s ex-anything is a narcissist these days and that word makes me so involuntarily and *irrationally* mad
It's both overused but also more prevalent behaviour these days. Thank social media
Ok but some of us have ex's who are diagnosed! I do get where your coming from.
I totally understand the drinking thing, too: having a hangover absolutely DESTROYS me the next day, so I just avoid drinking excessively at all costs. Even if I have like 3 drinks or something, I avoid liquor because that's what absolutely wrecks me the next day.
I know people are nostalgic for this show, but I think it should've ended with no movies and no reboot. HBO was much more interesting back then.
"Never let your enemies see you bleed." Shallon Lester, 2021.
And President Snow from Hunger Games
Yassssss! I had to do that too this year. Friends who aren’t bad friends, they’re just very stagnant. Always talking about change or things they want to do but never doing it and no amount of encouragement will help them. Staying in toxic relationship cycles. It’s like I love you but you bum me out.
Remember when Carrie was mad that Charlotte didn’t offer her all that money? And she was in debt because of her odd shoe obsession? Ik it’s not real but I can’t see SJP the same again that was SO JARRING
I knew someone who actually did this. To my sister. "But you make more money than me and were friends I can't believe you aren't giving me any you aren't a real friend" (after living on my sister's couch rent free for a year! )Ppl like this actually exist. Girl bye!
Nah Charlotte had the loot it would have been no big deal so boo on her. Now, if that would have happened a second time no Sis.....🤔
Entitled people are the worst. I need a video on how to deal with them without losing it.
@@AliciaM5555 you’d loan thousands to someone who doesn’t pay their bills coz they buy shoes instead?? Damn be MY friend tf😂❤️
@@AliciaM5555 what? just you thinking that it's okay to ask someone to give you money just because they have a lot of it worries me...them giving you out of their own kindness is another topic, but personally even then I wouldn't accept.
Thank you so much Shallon! Not my circus not my monkey has been the greatest mantra that I have started speaking to myself in 2020 and I am continuing to use it. You've been such an incredible blessing!
i found a really good way to get rid of a psychotic 'friend' which you're worried will react badly, is to make it THEIR choice. I literally became the most BORING, whiny, lousy company, pretended i had always lost my phone so she couldn't borrow it, was in debt so she couldnt ask for money, always missed her calls because i was 'asleep, and maybe coming down with something', acted absolutely DUMB, and as if i didn't understand her jokes, i literally went the whole 9 yards. all out, and she got fed up of me because i wasn't 'useable', and found another victim lol. i know she went around telling people i was the dumbest, laziest girl ever, but it' was the lesser of 2 evils, because she would have blown up if i cut her off directly. i only behaved like that with her, so when she said that, i know damn well no one believed her xD
Smart!
This is genuis
I’ve done this. Can confirm - worked like a charm.
LMFAO oh my god I wish you were my friend irl 🤣
@@Rose-oo9gn
I recently took a step back from a long term friendship over a disagreement. It wasn't just the situation that caused me to step back, but my friend's reaction to my feelings - she completely gaslit me and refused to be accountable when I caught her in a lie.
What's worse is that she gave me the "after everything I've done for you" rhetoric before crying in one of our lengthy chats. I was accused of being cold, however I had to go Grey Rock to survive an onslaught of abuse about how over-sensitive and crazy I am.
We managed to move past things, but our friendship is most definitely at an arms length, and completely sponsored by a third national lockdown.
We NEED your video about rude and nice celebrities!
“Cheaper shoes but a better nose.” LMAO 😂😂😂 you’re legendary
she truly is
You and Alexa Demie inspired me to wear hoops again and it's the one thing that makes anyone a bad bitch I think
There's a JLo sketch from SNL called HOOPS and in it she says "Hoops mean I fight other females" 😂😂
Old saying goes; bigger the hoops bigger the bitch” get your hoops girl!
@@shallonlester you should look into Alexa Demie she is just confidence icon
Distance myself for a while..and walked away from a friend who is narcissist and will never change.. never felt so free & alive..
This is revisionist history. Samantha was COMPLETELY one dimensional. All her story lines were the same until the last two seasons. In fact, she was the most one dimensional character of the four. All her story lines were the same: meet a guy, hook up, hijinks ensued based on how bad or good the sex was, then she'd never see the dude again. Literally every single episode this was her storyline. As such, her character was stunted. There was no room for her to grow with that kind of material. The character of Samantha didn't get layered until she met Richard and Smith. Those relationships challenged her and allowed the viewers to see more of who she could be. I'll defend Miranda to the end. Her character evolved into more of the "every woman" than even Carrie. Miranda was cynical, had a dry sense of humor, slightly socially awkward, but took no shyt, and was fashionable (towards the end of the series). That's why she was the first to have it all. She was the first to buy her apartment, get married (and stay married), have a kid, have a solid career trajectory. She was perfectly imperfect...the total package. Now, she was presented as super harsh during the first season, but every subsequent season she was softened and presented from different angles.
Totally agree with you. She’s my favorite character!!!
Her chocolate cake obsession was one of my favorite things
100% this comment! Miranda has long been my favorite out of the 4. Samantha was largely a hollow character who lived a life of hedonism to no great purpose. As you said, Richard and Smith brought out a vulnerable side to Samantha (beautifully played by Kim) but without those 2 characters anchoring her story, she basically had no story. People love Samantha for her boldness but to me she's more an iconic archetype than a real full-bodied character (still love her, though).
Miranda seemed needlessly mean to her family though. But maybe that was just her flaw not part of being "strong"
Completely agree! She had the most character development, even to the last movie.
My take is KC has moved on, doesn't care to go backwards. SJP series "Divorce" has ended, no other prospects.
SJP doesn’t need the money. She’s probably bored OR HBO is the one not seeing too far ahead in terms of prospects. SATC wasn’t necessary imo and it seems everyone involved knows it.
Thank you!!! I hated the movies. It's cringey that SJP etc keeps flogging a dead horse. Plus Samantha to me was the woman we wished we could be. Her confidence and sexiness and one liners still resonate for me. Not sure how it's going to work with the three of them and not include Samantha.
Moronic Cass!
SJP is such a terrible actress imo. Being Carrie is all she has. One trick pony. She's not funny, several movie flops under her belt. Not really pretty even in the girl next door way. Remember Failure to Launch? Poor Matthew McConaughey, she could have almost played his mother. I think you're right, they need to drop it.
😂😂😂😂 don’t want to hear about Brady and his distant learning 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 god you make me laugh
I know right?! Shallon makes me laugh so much. Watch her last video where she said 'crooock poooot' 👍🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh God please don't have this reboot feature this....
I live in Vancouver and my friends who worked on the fifty shades set said Jamie and Dakota got on fine but they both hated the script and we're just so over it
How's life in Vancouver
@@sayss4611I live 35 minutes outside of Vancouver but it's pretty nice out here
Thank you for saying this. I'm tired of this rumor. Jamie and Dakota were in fact quite close. The first film was an outright war between ELJ versus the director and screenwriter. Then for the last two films, J&D lost their champion and had to get used to a new director. And as an executive producer, the author wouldn't budge on certain aspects of the script.
Well they chose to act in the movie...by themselves.
Nobody put a gun on their head, don't like it... don't act in it.
I find it so difficult to deal when I’m constantly working on myself- always trying to be true to myself- but when your the only one trying to change for the better- but everyone else around u stays the same!! It’s so frustrating!!!! Esp when it’s family !!!
Shallon - I promise to the heavens I am NO longer fixing other people and their issues...figure your own shit out. I have recently outgrown a few friends (and some who were never my friend) and I'm totally okay with this. The problem with many people is that "when you grow, they usually don't get the memo" and they want you to be that same person you've always been for them. Sorry ladies, Im completely letting go of that 'uber empathetic co-dependent' person, that these friends got use to!! Im not doing it!! Like enough already getting involved with men who are waiving red flags!! Get your life together and stop asking me for advice. Figure it out for yourself!! Nope not gonna tell them, I can just simply STFU..and not say anything..
Sharon you are spot on about the laws on interpersonal relationships - especially "whoever cares the least wins"
Love watching you!
Issues like this arise when someone doesn’t fall in line with the group’s unwritten rule. In this case, it looks like SJP was the star and Kim’s on and offscreen presence seems to have challenged that. The beef kicked up when Kim’s brother died if you recall. At its core it seems Kim and SJP are two polar opposite personalities. Kim’s just too real and unapologetically so. It doesn’t jive with the non confrontational vibe the rest want to project. I argue it’s not a toxic dynamic, but incompatible.
Yes
I agree. Definitely incompatible.
Even Smith hated Kim! “Listen, I would have to say that Sarah was always just so lovely and such a consummate professional, and I think that people should remember their graciousness and the things that have been given to them, and I’m going to stop there because I’ve got nothing good to say.”
Maybe SJP was threatened by Samantha's popularity; it seems as if they were about equal in that respect. But why does there have to be just one "star"? Isn't there room for everybody? What's wrong with paying Kim equal?
I need Shallon's input on Lori Harvey. She is the hot topic of the moment. What can we learn from her dating life?
I agree with that. Lots of people either hating on her hard cause she is catch and got Michael. Saying all this stuff cause she upgraded and got away from Future.
Agreed.
Be beautiful and men will come to you. Be smart and they won’t hurt you.
Who??
Omg last year this whole girl group turned against me when my dad died, and wanted to have an intervention with me, over, I have no clue. I thought they were my best friends, I just turned away and told them “ if either of you have a problem with me you can come to me directly one by one” no one came and I ended up moving on, peacefully having them run back to me.
Wow... that had to be hard. I hope you are in peace now.
@@Miriam-xm7gl omg thank you, you are so sweet !! It was horrible and my bf at the time was breaking up with me. Those bitches. But I won. I realized I had to set new boundaries
@@marlimarlirni That its what matters!! I learned that peace doesn't give you a instant gratification, but on the long run is the wisest decision
I remember when my bff disrespected my bf, she was joking but was a very mean joke. I called her out and left the chat group we have with our other bff.
Some time later she text me something and mentioned the 'ending of our friendship'
I told her that we were adults now, not children (as we've known each other for 15 years) and one fight doesn't mean the end of everything, we patch things up, we love each other as always but now she knows boundaries regarding my relationships
I cut off a "toxic" friend after over 20 yrs of friendship. Its been over 10 yrs now since we've spoken. Yet, I sometimes wonder what I would say or feel obligated to say if we ever crossed paths again. In hindsight, and especially after watching your video, I see that she wasn't exactly toxic, but that (like you said) I had changed. And I had to apply different expectations and boundaries to my friendships. I was a new mother (to twins!) and I needed to focus on what was most important to me, which, in the end wasn't her.
A little back story..
Growing up, Nikki was fast. Fast with boys, drugs, dropping out of school, getting pregnant. By the time we were 25, Nikki had 3 kids by 3 different guys. And the whole time I was just...the 3rd wheel. I watched this train wreck that was her life. I watched her mom bail her out of everything, get her back in school, raise her kids, pay her rent, buy her things. Basically set her up to be capable of every fundamental thing an adult should know how to do and Nikki would buck back and go chasing after some guy instead. Go party. And I felt I had no place to step in and say...hey, don't you think its time to stop taking advantage of people? To be an adult? Who was I? I still lived at home with my parents and had no kids.
So just before my boys turned a year old I had an epiphany. Unfortunately it took having a blow out fight with my partner(father of my children) over Nikki sending me a video of her having sex (literally just the close up penetration part) for me to realize....no.
No more. I can't have this in my life.
I'm trying to build a foundation for my new family. A foundation needs trust (my man thought I WANTED to see this sex video, ugh BARF) and here she is ignorantly bringing strife into my home?
No. Just no.
And that was it. I basically ghosted her. And I imagine she was very hurt. As thoughtless and immature as Nikki was, her heart was still big. Perhaps that's why I stuck around all those years.
Her parents still live across the street from my parents and word is, she married the father of her 3rd child and has been living in Arizona (we're in the west suburbs of Chicago)for quite some time now. Which is good. I hope she found happiness. And maybe...if we ever cross paths again, it will be the right season :)
This was a really good video and is actually related to another one I saw today about toxic friends. I think this is also called the 'Grey Rock Method'. If someone is being toxic, saying bad stuff about you, trying to be manipulative; they say to be as boring and nonreactive as possible because over time they will give up. And it's not a mean or manipulative thing, you are just preserving your peace just like Shallon said which I think is really healthy to handle these types of situations. Anyways, Happy Friday to anyone who reads this!
I thought "Girls" was the reboot? For all those young girls who moved to NYC thinking they were going to be living that life. "Sex in the City" was the fantasy, "Girls" is the reality.
I tried to watch the first episode but I thought I was going to hurl - Adam driver was disgusting & Lina Dunham had zero self respect - I had to shut it off. Idk how people can watch that
Girl was so vanilla. I remember when they spoofed on snl if I’m not mistaken.
I agree that people aren't 'toxic' just because you want different things and your life is changing. But I do call abusive behaviour toxic. Where someone disrespects my boundaries, drains me even after I talk to them about it, and insults me, gaslights me, minimises or dismisses my feelings.
Tbh I needed to hear that bluntly honest. Toxic people wanted an reaction and I gave it to them. Thank you for making me realize that.
"sometimes I just wanna watch bitchy attractive people...sooorry!" haha I love you shallon!!
This hurts as someone whos been going through a rough time and has been ghosted by all my "friends"
I totally agree. So many people talk about leaving toxic friends because it is poor investment of time. But friendship is not a business! It is sad enough the love within a company or family is getting weaker and weaker, now even the love between friends is deducted.
@@babyfish1083 People only care about their egos now a days. No space for honesty, vulnerability or growth
Had a horrific time back in 2010 with a group of snakes and learned a lot. I will never allow people in from now on and will only have acquaintances. I’m a single mum so I put my child first. I have zero time for drama and pseudo people who are generally lost causes. It took me a long time to realise that I am not here on this earth to fix people.
Literally the only channel I watch almost every day, let alone comment. ☺️ Very relatable rn.
I did exactly what u said with all the toxic friends of mine, i followed non confrontation, also i completely blocked them from my life. Honestly at times I felt may be i was too harsh but 90% of the time I do not regret at all what I did
Not reacting in order to keep the peace--Story of my life.
Omg i can totally relate with a perpetual phone call friend. I tried to put a boundary, she doubled down and I ended the friendship entirely. At first I felt really bad until I realized how much of my own life went to shit while I was an always available free emotional dumpground. No fucking way am i allowing it ever again
I have been listening to your videos today for the first time... and after the first one, I just can't stop... at first, I thought you come across kind of harsh... but, now I'm stunned how confident you are. I kind of entangled my self in toxic friendships and have been in an abusive relationship. What a rollercoaster it has been. You make it sound so easy... to make a change... and it basically f - ing is!!! Thank you, sometimes you find help and motivation where you least expect it! 💪👏 I will keep listening to you and first of all get back to my strong and confident self! Greetings from Croatia! ☮🤩
They'll never reboot gossip girl in a good way, I refuse to even watch it. Idk who they think can compare to Blair and Serena, but their out of their minds!! 🥴
And who's gonna be as beautiful as Chace Crawford?
The audio, camera quality, hair, growth, health .. we love to see it.
After being shouted out by my “former friend” at our parents and relatives party that I looked funny even though I was in a very nice dress and I had lost weight , got over a health condition and felt so happy. I knew the friendship was over.
I was the toxic friend who allowed shit I should’ve never allowed from anybody.
I agree. I had two friends one was genuinely toxic, the other was her naive follower and together they have decided I am the toxic one. Who gave these people the right to get to decide who is the toxic one! Often the one who everyone gangs up on and calls toxic is actually the victim.
@@marthaedwards8199 I agree it fucking sucks but they're both babies nothing much to change there!
This is exactly what I needed right now. Love u Shallon! Bring back the revenge necklaces ;)
Revenge necklace is rose gold!
I agree pleaaaaaase bring back the revenge necklaces girl
Yessss revenge necklace pls !!
Yes please!!!
I also love talking on the phone. I hate texting, especially for serious conversations. Most of my friends prefer texting so I stick to what’s comfortable for them.
Golden girls must be protected at all costs.
When i started going to grad school and working through my depression and own toxicity, my ex friends all iced me out and even kicked me out of our apartment, telling people I had an party and alcohol issues. a year on and Im sucessful, worked on my mental health and dont really drink or party but they now have alcohol problems and drug issues but still see me as the "toxic" one lol
They were projecting
I had a friend who was smart and funny. We had a lot in common, but she had a very narrow bandwidth for what we could do together, I think because she had a narrow bandwidth of things she would do in general . The two big drawbacks were her prejudices and backhand compliments. Since I am a nurse, I have mad coping skills and a secure ego. I decided to do those few fun things with her, but realize that she had some broken parts and ignore her little digs that sprang from her neuroses.
Kim was interviewed by Piers in Morgan (great interview). She spoke about this movie .. mentions that she is in her 60s and it’s not her anymore.
AMEN TO THE PART OF GOSSIP GIRL!! HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD OMFG.
“The Fast and the Furious 65” 😂
"...you devalue the relationship to devalue the loss."
I'd have to disagree with you (for once) and say Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie weren't one-dimensional, but with that said, you're brilliant, and I get a lot hearing what you have to say.
"iT's A tOxIc TrIcYcLe" ma'am you're too funny 😂
I was about to write the same comment :)
Please make a video about Teri Hatcher and the cast of Desperate Housewives. I don't know who really was the bad guy there but if Teri wasn't guilty the subject could be what to do when others are jealous of your success.
@Anne Shirley same here.
I hope so too. I NEED TO KNOW😂.
@Anne Shirley I don't know either. But when they killed off Nicolette Sheridan, I was dunzo!
YESSS
Really agree with alot of this. I refuse to have "best friends" anymore. I have casual friends but thats it. Prefer my own company these days. Been burnt enough.
Samantha was honestly the person that made me watch Sex and the City
Currently watching your video on how to stop being a mess and I get a new notification 😂❤️
I used to trade services with someone and we became very close. However, the closer we got the more I understood her crazy life. At first I thought it was fun to hear her crazy drunken stories. Then I realized she is an bipolar alcoholic who refuses to take her meds. She started abusing our friendship and I had finally had enough. I still struggle to this day with my decision to not be friends with her. I always want to text her and touch base. But,. I cannot put myself in that situation with her again. Hopefully she is doing well.
Yes-- I had a friend with whom I had a falling out 25 years ago after we went on a week long vacation. It was just too much “together time” and as a result we lost our friendship. During the COVID-19 shutdown, however, we reconnected via telephone and it has been great.
The term toxic is overused. If it’s not working, move on.
I HATE IT (secretly LOVING IT & LEARNING!) that Shannon is showing me the mirror & telling it how it is.
If samantha’s not in this reboot then I DON’T WANT IT🤚🏻
You know @shallonlester women can be interesting at any age. I never thought I could get into being interested in people outside my age group, but lately I have watched the most precious channel about a woman who is in her sixties and her dog. Who knew? She divorced a wealthy man and had to start over in a one bedroom apartment. My heart has honestly grown from watching this. The strength. I have a thought that 2021 and maybe the years ahead will focus on what characteristics are inside each of us. We have been "inside" for so long now, everything has prepared us for a new perspective on what qualities are admirable. Youth and beauty never go out of style, but "bitchiness" I hope does. We don't need it anymore. I can feel a change in energy for this year. I tried to wear some of my high fashion clothes that I used to put on to be showy, and I just felt ridiculous in gold bangles, a fur vest, leather boots that came up over my knees. We are not in 2018 anymore. There is a major shift happening and call me crazy, but I think in the end it will unite us and make us all more loving and compassionate creatures. I am rambling here, I know, but just letting my thoughts flow to anyone who might need to read it. So much love and God Bless!
What is the show/doc called?
@@oaktree12345 Sorry for the late reply... It's a youtube channel called "LittlePoet"
I had a very chaotic friend who I outgrew and stopped talking to for a while but then she got pregnant and I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought it changed her for the better but somehow found myself in chaos again (the only difference is now there’s a crying baby too) I blocked her and kept it moving..
Shallon,you always speak the truth. You tell it like it is. I love listening to you !
Awe I hope Shallon meets a soulmate that allows her to have life long positive companionship. Its already whole, peaceful, and patient. Much love to Shallon!!!!!
Shallons videos just get better and better 🥰 I do miss her old ones tho, she was a lot meaner 🤣
Can't get over how great this rich, red hair colour suits you! Really flattering. Styling too, like Jessica Rabbit 😍
Please make a video about Jamie and Dakota. It’s never looked like a feud. I thought they were friends. From the outside it looks like he’s an alcoholic. Dakota seems like such a badass.
I've heard from people who have actually worked with Dakota say that she's pretty chill and nice
@@PureSparkles22 I’ve heard the same. I really like her fierce, strong spirit.
10:42 "She doesn't like her husband.." I felt that...lol!
That's actually sad that she married a bi (?) man and procreated with him and has stayed in that. I wonder why she would settle for that 🤔
@@AliciaM5555 What's the problem with marrying a bi man?
@@stoeberhund I have heard he’s gay not bisexual. Shallon insinuated that in this video. I have heard rumors that he’s in the closet and SJP is his beard.
@@stoeberhund not a damn thing unless said female, as Shallon has said, SJP is unhappy.
@@AliciaM5555 Maybe they are great parents together? Maybe they support each other’s career like no one else could? I’d it works for them, then why is it sad?
Usually like shallon’s analysis, however this is a bit different. I’m not so sure Kim is toxic for one thing. I think she just doesn’t want to be associated w/this character anymore. I mean good lord how long as it been since Kim played that roll. She’s a older now in her 60’s. She says that SJP and perhaps the rest of the cast cut her off from communication. Sounds like they were all mean, maybe even bullies. And seems like they were never friends, or are not friends now. I don’t agree that Kim’s character is only thing good bout the show. I liked Carrie in the show. I really liked SJP. I liked Samantha i suppose. Her character was never satisfied w/one man. No one could satisfy her. She was a bit callus where feelings and love were concerned.
I agree with this. It wasn't a money thing.....don't you think "they" would have paid any price she stipulated? She's the fan fave! and she has lots of money so Money was clearly not the deal-breaker here.
Honestly that was my favorite thing about Samantha because with her friends she has a heart of gold. But when it comes to her relationships, I'm like finally a woman gets to getaway with this.
I also don't see how she does less for the audience or show by not getting into a serious relationship.
I agree! They weren’t perfect, but Samantha was far from the only good thing about the show!
@@ellabella30 I’m sure a lot of people would say I am a prude. Samatha just plain and simple bed hopped too much for my liking. The others did some of that, but Sam in my opinion did way more. I think that was a major issue for KIm. SJP never took her top off, and Kim said that was an issue. Course SJP had a management position, and Kim did not. That is a whole other issue. In all the years of the series and the movies not once did SJP show her breast. I think it was in her contract. I did not think the movies were bad. They weren’t as good as the series, but I was entertained by them. If you sent me a copy of one of the movies, I would watch it again.
Her co star, long term boyfriend, Smith hated her. You so sure? “Listen, I would have to say that Sarah was always just so lovely and such a consummate professional, and I think that people should remember their graciousness and the things that have been given to them, and I’m going to stop there because I’ve got nothing good to say.”
I'm 28 YO and I can say that this is 100% true.
Never liked ghosting at all , sounds like a thing that parasites/shitty people would do, but still this is the only way to deal with some people.
I have very high standards when it comes to friendship to a point I cut off everyone! It’s crazy! Once you realize your worth you barely stand the presence of toxic people!
it's crazy because I've always done the silence thing , but people are sooo quick to call it passive aggressive. If you're my friend and I've explained more than twice how something hurts me , it's truly a wrap . I was listening to something the other day that said "You don’t need 99 bad experiences with someone to know what kind of person you’re dealing with” and Im sticking by it. I also have 0% interest going back once the trust is broken, its best to move on in peace! Good riddance!
The changes you are making in your life, it’s called ‘growing up’ x
I’m a Blanche Devereaux gal too! I adore Rue McClanahan and remember getting so excited when I joined my sorority and found out she was a member too.
Golden Girls is like comfort food to me. My grandma and I watched it together every week with our air popped popcorn and soda.
Shallon I love that you are so open to comments from those who follow your work and foster a sense of community with your channel. There are those Utubers out there who take a more hierarchical approach with their followers and create a us against them mentally with their platform. It really does takes away from their appeal, regardless of how many followers they may have.
Loved this video! What annoys me is that when a group of actresses work together it's just assumed that they should be friends because they're all women 💁🏻♀️. They're paid to do a job, not be best friends for crying out loud! I'm paid to speak to my colleagues, but that doesn't mean I want to talk them outside work. I actually had a very toxic work friend who was calling me three times a day to gossip and complain (argh!) and when I told her it was draining she went postal. I realised that she was gossiping, spreading co-workers personal information whilst pretending to be their friend and I finally realised she was doing the same to me. When I left the job and cut her off she started sending me horrible texts so I blocked her. No response. Like Shallon says, that's literally the best and most peaceful way to purge toxic people from your life.
Maybe this is a coincidence, but every time you upload, it’s usually about something I’m dealing with specifically and it freaks me out!! Haha, but jokes aside, you give good advice. I like listening to the celeb drama and how you base tips off that, I can’t believe months ago, RUclipsrs were shitting on you for being into young men, and giving “dangerous advice.” Like, not everyone has to be a fucking license therapist to be on RUclips giving out life advice! It’s like I’m sitting here talking with a good friend on what to do, I don’t have friends like that in my real life so it’s comforting to still kind of have that aspect so I’m not screwing up my life with these boys 😂👏🏻 love your videos girly!!♥️♥️☺️
Samantha is a one dimensional character imo. Actually all of the other ladies had more growth and development over the show. Charlotte and Miranda learned and changed the most. Remember when Miranda’s mom died? That was such a good episode!
Omg I clicked on this video soooo quick! I’m going through this exact situation with cutting off a friend who is extremely not good for me or my mental health. Thank you Shallon for your advice ❤️
You are so funny and so ON POINT! I’ve been staying away from toxicity for the past few years..I can finally breathe😁
I always knew I will grow up a Miranda, but I so wished to have at least a small bit of Samantha in me. Appreciated Charlotte cause at the end she finally was brave enough to go for the man she loved even though he did not meet of her previously set out expectations.