This has been one of the most eye-opening videos I ever watched. I always see the best in people, even when they are broken and hurt and try to help them even though they don't want to listen to what I have to say. I see the potential of what they can become instead of accepting them as they are. But at the same time, I can't just keep listening to the same sad story over and over again when there's no progress towards healing. I attract these people because I am looking for someone who has an emotional depth, who has been through the ringer of life but instead I just end up used and I blame myself for what's happened. I need to learn how to accept people as they are now in the present instead of imagining what they could possibly become.
* hugs * This is honestly one of the hardest problems in my life - yet perhaps it is both a strength and a weakness. Letting go of people whose lives are not determined by our actions is probably the right thing to do.
I agree a lot with what your saying. Interpreting your experience from an INFJ as an INFJ myself, you took a lot if damage. I feel your pain, your not alone, I think the hardest part is getting out of your own head from the dark place you put yourself.
I can relate to this very much. Although I can't see the tears in your eyes, I can "feel" how you were feeling when you made this video. I just feel all the emotions in this video. Sending love and light to you from a fellow Asian INFJ
Thank you for a lovely and heartfelt video. It takes a lot of effort and courage to be able to push past your pain as you have done. I hope things have been better for you in the time after you made this. I share very much of the pains you mentioned, and unfortunately I find it very hard to cut out toxic people (including my own parents) in my desire to be there for people. Empathetic people are just a magnet for toxic and manipulative people. What struck me most about this video is what you said about looking for the present in someone, rather than the potential in them. Because I held so much hopes for the good I see in someone, and the potential they could be, it had caused me so much pain. And even when I know things are bad, I keep going through the same cycle over and over again with different people instead of recognising that who they are now is a long way off from who they can potentially be.
You hit it dead on to everything that I deal with as an INFJ especially the part of being too empathetic. I often times also think of the reasons why people are the way they are from their past and I excuse them of their present behavior when I really should see them at their present face value. It’s honestly really difficult to shift my mindset and turn off that side of me since it encompasses who I am but I’m going to continue to try because it protects me from being taken advantage of and being unkind to myself. Thanks for such a great video!
Omg! I'm glad i watched your video! It's so eye opening to me! Like i always focus on what will be the person become in the future that i always have reason to forgive them because i think they will be better later. And the one about some people who wants to be taken care of being needy! Omg i always have a certain person who does that to me. Like if i got rid of someone then another one came along and had the same needy attitude as the previous one. I'm not talking bout a partner but someone like my relatives or friends. I stay out of that kind of people who like to spend time with me all the time because i need more time alone. Namaste. Thanks for the message! ❤
I hope one day I fall in love, don't have much youth left as I'm currently 28. Shyness and endless self doubt is what I drown in. I know I'm attractive too, but I can't initiate no matter how hard I try.
Good Word. There is a nature/nurture aptitude to this thing called relationship. It is not uncommon for an exterior projected attraction or flirting to initiate curiosity to full blown courting (an internal attraction which isn’t courted by the external person can be a challenge for the recipient to stomach which typically becomes an argument). This does not mean that the individuals are aligned in first their individual purpose, secondly their experience and thirdly their personal opinion on what they bring to the table.
Hi I’m also an INFJ for me your insight is spot on, enjoy your relaxed talking style and I look forward to more videos from you. Plus did you make the music, if so that very cool and I like it. Anyway good job!
Yep this is soo true. I know your pain all too well. I am more strict on relationships now after that. I completely get this I do the same. It will get better just focus on healing yourself for now.
My friend, this is an old video but I felt compelled to comment on it. " we need to stop being so forgiving " and we need to realized that whoever they are now is what matters not what they can become. Those words to me feels like self doubt. Being able to see the holistic picture is the infj superpower. Realizing that you can mill gold from a lump of clay is what we are really good at. The problem lies in what type of tools you bring to do the job, how experienced you are at making this gold, and what kind of gold you are trying to make. I would assume that you recognize the potential for this person to fulfill your plan for the future know their strengths and weaknesses already in the back of your mind, however you convinced yourself that you could mold them like the peice of gold to be something amazing. You became disappointed and frustrated when you could not turn them into the perfect partner that you wanted or your intuition told you they would become. Even worse you began to absorb their bad traits and realize that you are becoming all the bad things that you hate about them. Even more worse you now realize that if pushed to the point, you could become an even more evil person than they are. It scares you so you give up on the whole idea of ever making this person amazing and start to wonder if there is something wrong with your ability to understand and read people. My friend there is nothing wrong with your abilities, if you saw potential then there was potential. The problem was that you did not have the right tools and the right amount of experience to turn this clay person into gold. Remember that although NFs and NT types are sopose to be the golden pair from my experience NTs are really stubborn, emotionless robots, who go bat crap crazy whenever all that built-up emotions finally kicks in. As INFJ we need to be able to read someone's emotional state in order to get feedback on what we are doing to them. Yes the last part of that statement is very true, we subconsciously try to control people and things to turn them into the perfect utopian society that we have for the world, no harm intended. That NT that you are changing has or had the same plans for you but unlike Infj once they are hooked on you they have a hard time pulling the plug. Instead they tend to go unhealty fast and and become useless and crazy like broken robots stuck in a corrupt bootloader. Been with my NT for over 25 years and that golden pair BS is not as easy at it sounds. If you'll do not know yhat you are doing it can really be rough at the start until you can figure out a few things. 1. The two of you are almost exactly the same with all your bad and good tendency except you tend to go more extreme when stressed. Also due to NT vs NF you guys speak two completely different language when trying to decode your feelings which is like 90% of relationships. You would have to teach them how to interpret your feelings and you would have to correctly listen to them when they apply logic to your emotions. Basically what that ends up being is a logical debate between you and them about what they did wrong and why it is wrong. You must also ensure that you win the debate or able to inject some variable into their equation such that they start to question the logic of their argument. NTs are extremely smart and will eventually brake the argument down to its lowest form and see things your way if you are right. Once this is completed you can throw as much emotion at them as you like because they will now understand how what they are doing to you or others make you feel. I f they care about you then they will go into emotion overload and you will have your hands full trying to put them back together again. Lastly even though we know this statement is not true, subconsciously we believe that everyone thinks like infj. No one thinks like infj so we have to teach them to think infj before we can communicate properly
I asked you for your thoughts on this and not too depressing or confusing. The thing is I loved once didn't go well so I now fear letting anyone into my 6 meter social distance. Did not stutter on meter. I thought I knew something, I am wrong. Bittersweet is a good word for this.
Let's see the bright side of this awful event in our lives. You still can move forward and forget about it slowly throughout time. If you had kids with him things will be so much different bcz they will be here reminding you that you had a partner in your life that you believed so much in him. So keep going forward and hope for the miracle to happen.
Jenn, as an INFP but also a 4w3 variant, I adhere to the same levels of understanding as you do, except that in the heat of the moment my personal desires to express my feelings (the individual) tend to outweigh the good of the collective and maintaining harmony. This is something I am more acutely aware of as I am getting older (I'm in my early 30s now) and that my feelings (esp negative states - fear, anger, hurt) are not a true source of power for me at all and are neither my true identity nor serve the greater good of one and all. Listening to The Art of Communication by Thich Nhat Hanh has helped bridge the gap of remaining my true authentic self with healthy boundaries while remaining compassionate and understanding towards others. In my view, relationships are so enthralling because they help bring out / reveal aspects of ourselves that had remained latent and dormant until the other person shines light into them. And, even when it ends, what remains are timeless lessons that we can choose to see, learn, and grow from to achieve a higher level of understanding and being. I love your insight. I hope to see more videos in the future.
I am Soo in Love with you! Your such a beautiful spirit. Much different energy to this video. But no worries it's all part of it. Most people don't even know how to be real anymore. It's Like we already live in world with a bunch of humanoids roaming the entire planet.. most people completely disconnected from humanity and mother Earth.. Being an INFJ myself.. and Single.. wink wink.. It's very nice to finally meet others like myself. People who really get me. It's always been kinda hard explaining just how I think and my brain functions ..Um did I forget to mention that I love you!! I can barely make it thru your videos. Listening to you puts me in bliss. Like and angel singing thru out the heavens.. Blessings to you my Angel.
Thinking all people are good is are biggest weakness. Sadly but it gets us hurt a lot. Especially attracting narcissistic people. We get burned so often. I learned the hard way but woke up after a stroke.
As an INFJ I found all my relation draining, to the point I found myself feeling insignificant. PS: Good to see more Aussie INFJ, I feel like I'm the only one in my suburb.
As a fellow INFJ, I can relate to everything you have stated! Handwriting analysis is one of my hobbies-it gives me even more of an insight to how other people operate-do you have any experience with this? Kudos on a great video!
So true what you say is that a tattoo on your arm.. learnt a lot from you.. you have a really good week and a prosperous one please look after yourself hope to see you you on your RUclips channel more often good stuff😊🌻🌻🌻😊👍
An issue I have as an ENFP who loves to date INFJ women is that the INFJ women come out of the gate gushing about you and calling you babe, telling you they're a 12/10 on the affection scale, etc, etc. But when I dare try to match the affection level in word, action, or text, they run. It sucks lol and I still don't know how to resolve it with INFJs, three of whom have wanted me to show my Fi sensitive side - only to get scared and run when I reveal it.
From my experience with ENFPs, they can be quite full on, but nothing an INFJ that is truly into you can't handle! Personally I love Fi and the ENFP's larger than life personality. It could be possible that some shyer INFJs just need more personal space/introvert time because explosive displays of emotion could startle them - although not necessarily drive them away.
Hah we don't like a clingy relationship and too much affection, but still we do crave affection and complain without it. I have a very complicated personality lol.
Thank you my dear. Perhaps only an INFJ can best heal another INFJ. I just lost love with another INFJ and is very afraid she would door slam on me. (A taste of own medicine) My experience, INFJ with INFJ is beautiful and addictive. But no more.
Hi Jenn , hope u r doing well , I know this is an old post , I'm just wondering why I haven't came across your posts before , it's funny you said you hoped this post wasn't to depressing but I found it very insightful , I believe as we grow we ( infjs ) learn to take care of ourselves more , I have realised that I'm not responsible for anyone elses spiritual growth but my own , I can clearly see others control dramas and refuse to be sucked into them , I also feel a sense of being the person that needs to enforce justice , so when I see someone controlling or manipulating another I will intervene , i think it would be interesting if you maybe looked back on this post and if things have changed , how you view poeple or how your empathy for others has developed , if you could point out these changers would maybe help younger infjs relax alittle more and enjoy the journey , I know I felt exactly like you when I was younger but life changes , we grow into our power , anyway I will be checking out alot more of your posts . Take care . Namaste 8 ) .
I expect a MAN to step up to me, because I'm not about to impose my will on anyone and I'm not about to CHASE anyone down to want me. I could be chasing down another toxic person, for all I know
I am an intp who really likes an infj. what do intps do wrong? what can we do right with you infjs? where are we likely to make mistakes and how do we correct them?
Hey, Good questions. This is a different dynamic, than what you are asking for, but hopefully it gives insight: My roommate is an INTP, and my closest friend is also an INTP. Both males, but together we have the deepest discussions possible. We push eachother to so much depth in how we see the world. I can hardly get enough of their insights, and how they theorize. I think they are my closest friends for a reason. They are not judgemental at all, they are super loyal. They have no fakeness to them. I would say for you and your relationship with this Infj, they will admire these things as well. I'm sure or it. Where we differ as infjs and you being an intp is in how we "feel" or how we deal with "emotion." Just being right up front with you. You are going to struggle with this infj you like, if you cant dig deep with your emotion. Your apathetic nature may oftentimes turn off that infj. But.... This infj will adore so so much about you. Constantly feeling comfortable and laid back with you. Always being able to share their deepest inner thoughts. I really wish I could find an intp female. I'm so drawn to intps. I do worry about our differences in some ways, but i truly believe these two types can compliment eachother immensely
Thanks Peter! I think infatuation is a manifestation of one's attraction/seeking of Jung's concept of the Anima or Animus in the external world. In other words, when we project our fantasy or idea of the ideal partner on someone, we become infatuated or merely in love with the idea of that person. The Anima (a man's internal female self) and the Animus (a woman's internal male self) is typically (but not always) represented by your opposite type or dual (in socionics). For example, INFJs are typically drawn to ESTPs. Of course, that doesn't mean we are only infatuated by one type of person. It happens as a result of projection of a fantasy onto another human being. Being in love with the idea of love.
INFJ Counselling & Psychology Ahh, I see. Lovely viewpoint! To add to this, the concept of duality of gender seems to be prominent in Eastern Philosophy as well. Like the yin and yang that’s on your shirt! One cannot exist without the other - whether internalized or externalized. Gosh, the more I read into Jung, the more I see the relationship of the subconcious. Or the collective unconcious rather!
Wow! You noticed! And yes, you are so right about the Yin & Yang. Taoism is a school of thought I hold dearly and have a high regard for (I actually have a Yin & Yang tattoo on my back as well). Jung is an amazing intellectual and psychologist as always. You can never learn enough about the subconscious - the deeper you go, the more questions arise! I believe the collective unconscious is what brings humanity together.
INFJ Counselling & Psychology INFJ Counselling & Psychology It was only recently that I went through the rabbit hole and have been slowly learning backwards from the 1900s (Alan Watts, Jung, Neville Goddard) until I reach primary sources in BCE (Plato, Socrates, other ancient texts). Oh, cool! I love meaningful tattoos! I feel like the collective unconscious is today’s surface-level definition of what’s really rooted in the subconcious. If we go deeper, it delves with a lot of dogma that you really have to read in between the lines into to understand the context at the time it was written. Amazing stuff!
YES! I have recently been heavily influenced by Peterson and have also read his book. I find that many of his ideas and thoughts aligned with mine, and that was to no surprise, considering I'm also a huge fan of Jungian psychology and psychoanalysis.
Yep I'm still in school (finishing this year) and i wasn't sure as to what i wanted to do afterwards. I was obsessed with MBTI before i found him (he's not very well known in germany) but didn't know what to do with it. Now i have a whole lot more perspectives (and started to clean my room lol xD) and i wanna study psychology (and perhaps soziology as well). I wanna read the book two, seems very remarkable from what he read out already :D
Hey INFJ Counselling and Psychology. True story, I went on a date with the girl this past April who came up with the "cleaning your room" analogy. She told it to Dr. Peterson and is an associate of his.
@@INFJCounsellingPsychology, Peterson doesn't believe in Jungian Typology, he is completely against it actually. He is an advocate of big five. And... From what I hear from you on this channel, you tow have nothing in common. You have epiphanies and insights, he has rationalizations and fallacies. Big difference!
Um, nope, sorry. If we were indeed made in God's image, then that means God's love is just as fickle. Nothing about love is perfect, not even the source. That's what makes it so intoxicating to humans.
Artemis from what I’ve not only learned from myself but others, God is love himself & loves each and every one of us which is why I’ve been very fortunate & blessed with the people that I’ve known & meet because we’re all his children.
This has been one of the most eye-opening videos I ever watched. I always see the best in people, even when they are broken and hurt and try to help them even though they don't want to listen to what I have to say. I see the potential of what they can become instead of accepting them as they are. But at the same time, I can't just keep listening to the same sad story over and over again when there's no progress towards healing. I attract these people because I am looking for someone who has an emotional depth, who has been through the ringer of life but instead I just end up used and I blame myself for what's happened. I need to learn how to accept people as they are now in the present instead of imagining what they could possibly become.
* hugs * This is honestly one of the hardest problems in my life - yet perhaps it is both a strength and a weakness. Letting go of people whose lives are not determined by our actions is probably the right thing to do.
I agree a lot with what your saying. Interpreting your experience from an INFJ as an INFJ myself, you took a lot if damage. I feel your pain, your not alone, I think the hardest part is getting out of your own head from the dark place you put yourself.
I can relate to this very much. Although I can't see the tears in your eyes, I can "feel" how you were feeling when you made this video. I just feel all the emotions in this video. Sending love and light to you from a fellow Asian INFJ
Yes, I was going through a rough breakup at the time and just felt this surge of inspiration to share my thoughts! Thanks for resonating with me
Well said, we try to see the positives and the possibilities and we give our complete selves to others in the process..
Thank you for a lovely and heartfelt video. It takes a lot of effort and courage to be able to push past your pain as you have done. I hope things have been better for you in the time after you made this. I share very much of the pains you mentioned, and unfortunately I find it very hard to cut out toxic people (including my own parents) in my desire to be there for people. Empathetic people are just a magnet for toxic and manipulative people. What struck me most about this video is what you said about looking for the present in someone, rather than the potential in them. Because I held so much hopes for the good I see in someone, and the potential they could be, it had caused me so much pain. And even when I know things are bad, I keep going through the same cycle over and over again with different people instead of recognising that who they are now is a long way off from who they can potentially be.
Wow! Great video Jenn.
As an INFJ, I can totally relate to all this.
You hit it dead on to everything that I deal with as an INFJ especially the part of being too empathetic. I often times also think of the reasons why people are the way they are from their past and I excuse them of their present behavior when I really should see them at their present face value. It’s honestly really difficult to shift my mindset and turn off that side of me since it encompasses who I am but I’m going to continue to try because it protects me from being taken advantage of and being unkind to myself. Thanks for such a great video!
You understand! That's precisely why learning how to set healthy boundaries are extremely important to me. I'm glad you could relate! :) -Jenn
Thank you! For sharing your personal life experiences!! I’m like you “INFJ” and I’m feeling your vibe as you talk...
I’m involved in a relationship I need to end because me being a INFJ It’s like I’m being sucked of all my energy...
Omg! I'm glad i watched your video! It's so eye opening to me! Like i always focus on what will be the person become in the future that i always have reason to forgive them because i think they will be better later. And the one about some people who wants to be taken care of being needy! Omg i always have a certain person who does that to me. Like if i got rid of someone then another one came along and had the same needy attitude as the previous one. I'm not talking bout a partner but someone like my relatives or friends. I stay out of that kind of people who like to spend time with me all the time because i need more time alone. Namaste. Thanks for the message! ❤
I hope one day I fall in love, don't have much youth left as I'm currently 28. Shyness and endless self doubt is what I drown in. I know I'm attractive too, but I can't initiate no matter how hard I try.
how u getting on? Any advice as im 28 now
Good Word. There is a nature/nurture aptitude to this thing called relationship. It is not uncommon for an exterior projected attraction or flirting to initiate curiosity to full blown courting (an internal attraction which isn’t courted by the external person can be a challenge for the recipient to stomach which typically becomes an argument). This does not mean that the individuals are aligned in first their individual purpose, secondly their experience and thirdly their personal opinion on what they bring to the table.
Hi I’m also an INFJ for me your insight is spot on, enjoy your relaxed talking style and I look forward to more videos from you. Plus did you make the music, if so that very cool and I like it. Anyway good job!
loved the background songs :) so cool that you produce too
Yep this is soo true. I know your pain all too well. I am more strict on relationships now after that. I completely get this I do the same. It will get better just focus on healing yourself for now.
So so good. Thank you❤️
My friend, this is an old video but I felt compelled to comment on it. " we need to stop being so forgiving " and we need to realized that whoever they are now is what matters not what they can become. Those words to me feels like self doubt. Being able to see the holistic picture is the infj superpower. Realizing that you can mill gold from a lump of clay is what we are really good at. The problem lies in what type of tools you bring to do the job, how experienced you are at making this gold, and what kind of gold you are trying to make. I would assume that you recognize the potential for this person to fulfill your plan for the future know their strengths and weaknesses already in the back of your mind, however you convinced yourself that you could mold them like the peice of gold to be something amazing. You became disappointed and frustrated when you could not turn them into the perfect partner that you wanted or your intuition told you they would become. Even worse you began to absorb their bad traits and realize that you are becoming all the bad things that you hate about them. Even more worse you now realize that if pushed to the point, you could become an even more evil person than they are. It scares you so you give up on the whole idea of ever making this person amazing and start to wonder if there is something wrong with your ability to understand and read people.
My friend there is nothing wrong with your abilities, if you saw potential then there was potential. The problem was that you did not have the right tools and the right amount of experience to turn this clay person into gold. Remember that although NFs and NT types are sopose to be the golden pair from my experience NTs are really stubborn, emotionless robots, who go bat crap crazy whenever all that built-up emotions finally kicks in. As INFJ we need to be able to read someone's emotional state in order to get feedback on what we are doing to them. Yes the last part of that statement is very true, we subconsciously try to control people and things to turn them into the perfect utopian society that we have for the world, no harm intended. That NT that you are changing has or had the same plans for you but unlike Infj once they are hooked on you they have a hard time pulling the plug. Instead they tend to go unhealty fast and and become useless and crazy like broken robots stuck in a corrupt bootloader.
Been with my NT for over 25 years and that golden pair BS is not as easy at it sounds. If you'll do not know yhat you are doing it can really be rough at the start until you can figure out a few things.
1. The two of you are almost exactly the same with all your bad and good tendency except you tend to go more extreme when stressed. Also due to NT vs NF you guys speak two completely different language when trying to decode your feelings which is like 90% of relationships. You would have to teach them how to interpret your feelings and you would have to correctly listen to them when they apply logic to your emotions. Basically what that ends up being is a logical debate between you and them about what they did wrong and why it is wrong. You must also ensure that you win the debate or able to inject some variable into their equation such that they start to question the logic of their argument. NTs are extremely smart and will eventually brake the argument down to its lowest form and see things your way if you are right. Once this is completed you can throw as much emotion at them as you like because they will now understand how what they are doing to you or others make you feel. I f they care about you then they will go into emotion overload and you will have your hands full trying to put them back together again. Lastly even though we know this statement is not true, subconsciously we believe that everyone thinks like infj. No one thinks like infj so we have to teach them to think infj before we can communicate properly
You are making me cried tears of joy 🥰
So much wisdom in this
Insightful insight, thank you. INFJ here too
I'm 24year old, only had one boyfriend twice, doorslam twice, reson I don't know (scared), still a VGN . My life is awesome for others
I asked you for your thoughts on this and not too depressing or confusing. The thing is I loved once didn't go well so I now fear letting anyone into my 6 meter social distance. Did not stutter on meter. I thought I knew something, I am wrong. Bittersweet is a good word for this.
enjoyed your video very much, agreed with you on all points. - INFJ
Let's see the bright side of this awful event in our lives. You still can move forward and forget about it slowly throughout time. If you had kids with him things will be so much different bcz they will be here reminding you that you had a partner in your life that you believed so much in him. So keep going forward and hope for the miracle to happen.
Jenn, as an INFP but also a 4w3 variant, I adhere to the same levels of understanding as you do, except that in the heat of the moment my personal desires to express my feelings (the individual) tend to outweigh the good of the collective and maintaining harmony. This is something I am more acutely aware of as I am getting older (I'm in my early 30s now) and that my feelings (esp negative states - fear, anger, hurt) are not a true source of power for me at all and are neither my true identity nor serve the greater good of one and all. Listening to The Art of Communication by Thich Nhat Hanh has helped bridge the gap of remaining my true authentic self with healthy boundaries while remaining compassionate and understanding towards others.
In my view, relationships are so enthralling because they help bring out / reveal aspects of ourselves that had remained latent and dormant until the other person shines light into them. And, even when it ends, what remains are timeless lessons that we can choose to see, learn, and grow from to achieve a higher level of understanding and being.
I love your insight. I hope to see more videos in the future.
That's beautiful, and thanks for sharing! I'm glad you found my video insightful :)
I am Soo in Love with you! Your such a beautiful spirit. Much different energy to this video. But no worries it's all part of it. Most people don't even know how to be real anymore. It's Like we already live in world with a bunch of humanoids roaming the entire planet.. most people completely disconnected from humanity and mother Earth.. Being an INFJ myself.. and Single.. wink wink.. It's very nice to finally meet others like myself. People who really get me. It's always been kinda hard explaining just how I think and my brain functions ..Um did I forget to mention that I love you!! I can barely make it thru your videos. Listening to you puts me in bliss. Like and angel singing thru out the heavens.. Blessings to you my Angel.
I absolutely loved your response! I can tell you're a wonderful spirit and wise soul by the way you write. Thank you my fellow earthling!!
Thinking all people are good is are biggest weakness. Sadly but it gets us hurt a lot. Especially attracting narcissistic people. We get burned so often. I learned the hard way but woke up after a stroke.
As an INFJ I found all my relation draining, to the point I found myself feeling insignificant.
PS: Good to see more Aussie INFJ, I feel like I'm the only one in my suburb.
As a fellow INFJ, I can relate to everything you have stated! Handwriting analysis is one of my hobbies-it gives me even more of an insight to how other people operate-do you have any experience with this? Kudos on a great video!
So true what you say is that a tattoo on your arm.. learnt a lot from you.. you have a really good week and a prosperous one please look after yourself hope to see you you on your RUclips channel more often good stuff😊🌻🌻🌻😊👍
An issue I have as an ENFP who loves to date INFJ women is that the INFJ women come out of the gate gushing about you and calling you babe, telling you they're a 12/10 on the affection scale, etc, etc. But when I dare try to match the affection level in word, action, or text, they run. It sucks lol and I still don't know how to resolve it with INFJs, three of whom have wanted me to show my Fi sensitive side - only to get scared and run when I reveal it.
From my experience with ENFPs, they can be quite full on, but nothing an INFJ that is truly into you can't handle! Personally I love Fi and the ENFP's larger than life personality. It could be possible that some shyer INFJs just need more personal space/introvert time because explosive displays of emotion could startle them - although not necessarily drive them away.
Hah we don't like a clingy relationship and too much affection, but still we do crave affection and complain without it. I have a very complicated personality lol.
Damn I love INFJs so much. I love how they view the world.
I always to expect my INFJ Friend to baby her self first.
Thank you my dear. Perhaps only an INFJ can best heal another INFJ. I just lost love with another INFJ and is very afraid she would door slam on me. (A taste of own medicine) My experience, INFJ with INFJ is beautiful and addictive. But no more.
Very wise.
Hi Jenn , hope u r doing well , I know this is an old post , I'm just wondering why I haven't came across your posts before , it's funny you said you hoped this post wasn't to depressing but I found it very insightful , I believe as we grow we ( infjs ) learn to take care of ourselves more , I have realised that I'm not responsible for anyone elses spiritual growth but my own , I can clearly see others control dramas and refuse to be sucked into them , I also feel a sense of being the person that needs to enforce justice , so when I see someone controlling or manipulating another I will intervene , i think it would be interesting if you maybe looked back on this post and if things have changed , how you view poeple or how your empathy for others has developed , if you could point out these changers would maybe help younger infjs relax alittle more and enjoy the journey , I know I felt exactly like you when I was younger but life changes , we grow into our power , anyway I will be checking out alot more of your posts . Take care . Namaste 8 ) .
I'm also an infj female in my twenties who split up from my intp fiance of seven years recently! I feel your struggles x
* hugs *
I’m intp just starting with an INFJ, what are your main areas of concern, what should I remember to make my relationship long and prosperous
@@larrywoods8871 F, hope it's going well nonetheless
Hey; I wish you make more videos. I like the way you think. Maybe coz I am Enfp.
Very *Good* , Sobering 🔆INFJs Rule🔯~~~~~~~Namaste~~~~~~~🔯
Happy Lunar new year 2573 🙏 Gong Xi J ♥️
So much crap goes on in peoples heads, i'm so glad i cured myself of it all.
I expect a MAN to step up to me, because I'm not about to impose my will on anyone and I'm not about to CHASE anyone down to want me. I could be chasing down another toxic person, for all I know
That's how I feel about it. Tough love, is the way to go with select folk
I show the same nurturing tough love, I was raised with
I am an intp who really likes an infj.
what do intps do wrong?
what can we do right with you infjs?
where are we likely to make mistakes and how do we correct them?
Hey,
Good questions.
This is a different dynamic, than what you are asking for, but hopefully it gives insight:
My roommate is an INTP, and my closest friend is also an INTP. Both males, but together we have the deepest discussions possible. We push eachother to so much depth in how we see the world. I can hardly get enough of their insights, and how they theorize.
I think they are my closest friends for a reason. They are not judgemental at all, they are super loyal. They have no fakeness to them.
I would say for you and your relationship with this Infj, they will admire these things as well. I'm sure or it. Where we differ as infjs and you being an intp is in how we "feel" or how we deal with "emotion." Just being right up front with you. You are going to struggle with this infj you like, if you cant dig deep with your emotion. Your apathetic nature may oftentimes turn off that infj. But.... This infj will adore so so much about you. Constantly feeling comfortable and laid back with you. Always being able to share their deepest inner thoughts. I really wish I could find an intp female. I'm so drawn to intps. I do worry about our differences in some ways, but i truly believe these two types can compliment eachother immensely
Hey Jenn. Great video!
I'm curious...what are your thoughts on infatuation?
Thanks Peter! I think infatuation is a manifestation of one's attraction/seeking of Jung's concept of the Anima or Animus in the external world. In other words, when we project our fantasy or idea of the ideal partner on someone, we become infatuated or merely in love with the idea of that person. The Anima (a man's internal female self) and the Animus (a woman's internal male self) is typically (but not always) represented by your opposite type or dual (in socionics). For example, INFJs are typically drawn to ESTPs. Of course, that doesn't mean we are only infatuated by one type of person. It happens as a result of projection of a fantasy onto another human being. Being in love with the idea of love.
INFJ Counselling & Psychology Ahh, I see. Lovely viewpoint! To add to this, the concept of duality of gender seems to be prominent in Eastern Philosophy as well. Like the yin and yang that’s on your shirt! One cannot exist without the other - whether internalized or externalized. Gosh, the more I read into Jung, the more I see the relationship of the subconcious. Or the collective unconcious rather!
Wow! You noticed! And yes, you are so right about the Yin & Yang. Taoism is a school of thought I hold dearly and have a high regard for (I actually have a Yin & Yang tattoo on my back as well). Jung is an amazing intellectual and psychologist as always. You can never learn enough about the subconscious - the deeper you go, the more questions arise! I believe the collective unconscious is what brings humanity together.
INFJ Counselling & Psychology INFJ Counselling & Psychology It was only recently that I went through the rabbit hole and have been slowly learning backwards from the 1900s (Alan Watts, Jung, Neville Goddard) until I reach primary sources in BCE (Plato, Socrates, other ancient texts). Oh, cool! I love meaningful tattoos! I feel like the collective unconscious is today’s surface-level definition of what’s really rooted in the subconcious. If we go deeper, it delves with a lot of dogma that you really have to read in between the lines into to understand the context at the time it was written. Amazing stuff!
I certainly experienced that thing with ESTPs, didn't know why tho, super interesting thank you. :)
Hey have you listened to Jordan Peterson?
Cuz u share some important thoughts.
YES! I have recently been heavily influenced by Peterson and have also read his book. I find that many of his ideas and thoughts aligned with mine, and that was to no surprise, considering I'm also a huge fan of Jungian psychology and psychoanalysis.
Yep I'm still in school (finishing this year) and i wasn't sure as to what i wanted to do afterwards. I was obsessed with MBTI before i found him (he's not very well known in germany) but didn't know what to do with it. Now i have a whole lot more perspectives (and started to clean my room lol xD) and i wanna study psychology (and perhaps soziology as well). I wanna read the book two, seems very remarkable from what he read out already :D
You sound inspired, and good on you for wanting to study Psychology (I studied it too during Uni) - and for cleaning your room! Haha
Hey INFJ Counselling and Psychology. True story, I went on a date with the girl this past April who came up with the "cleaning your room" analogy. She told it to Dr. Peterson and is an associate of his.
@@INFJCounsellingPsychology, Peterson doesn't believe in Jungian Typology, he is completely against it actually. He is an advocate of big five.
And... From what I hear from you on this channel, you tow have nothing in common.
You have epiphanies and insights, he has rationalizations and fallacies. Big difference!
11:50 the 'stop helping others bit' makes me sad and i refuse to stop. again, this is clearly a result of the recent breakup. js. :P
like, i understand why you personally felt that way at the time. but i don't think it's helpful universal advice.
6:50 "stop being so forgiving. stop being so understanding of people."... statement probably has nothing to do with recent breakup. :P
Are you INFJ-T or INFJ-A?
INFJ-T apparently.
@@INFJCounsellingPsychology me too, apparently
Yes, human, imperfect love is definitely bittersweet. Only God's perfect love rises above that.
Um, nope, sorry. If we were indeed made in God's image, then that means God's love is just as fickle. Nothing about love is perfect, not even the source. That's what makes it so intoxicating to humans.
Artemis from what I’ve not only learned from myself but others, God is love himself & loves each and every one of us which is why I’ve been very fortunate & blessed with the people that I’ve known & meet because we’re all his children.
Long term relationship with an INFJ. Now add a child. Then what?
🏃
You can’t stay in love over about 6 months, because the bonding chemical, oxytocin, burns out. Love is a chemical.
But you may always love again!