100% true :( I've been projecting my whole life! Thank you for this video, I needed it. I've recently begun projecting my dreams on my neighbor. He was nice and behaved like a gentleman a few times, he also seemed to have some great sense of humor. I started smiling more and then he became cold. I did nothing really. I don't know him at all. I just thought he was nice and liked him more. It's hard to leave the dreams and accept that he is obviously not interested, doesn't give me anything I want now and generally isn't for me. I love my projections even though they hurt. I'll try making a list of things I want in a partner and friend, as you suggested :) Thank you!
Yes, start with the list! Realizing what we have been doing that wasn’t good for us might be painful in the beginning but it gives us the necessary push in the right direction 👍😊
O God, this is exactly what is happening in my life.I am going through lot of struggles bcoz of this delusion.Thank you so much for the video.this was really helpful.
I don't get caught up in this fantasy now like I did in my younger years. I crushed on a guy in college for years; it wasn't until I finally got the nerve to spend time with him that I realized my image of him wasn't really who he was. And even then, when he didn't "pass back the ball" so to say, I was not upset about not experiencing his character; it was more like I had lost some sort of game or didn't achieve a goal. Now anytime I start to feel like an early flirtation is feeling like a game, I take it as a warning sign. But I do still struggle with the shame of experiences like this when trying to focus on new possible relationships, afraid I can't trust my feelings and therefore express myself-, even now that I know better. Seeing this vid and some of the comments from others is really helpful in not feeling like it's been only my strange little secret. Thanks. :)
Thank you! Story of my life and I really want to change this. And it’s not selfish either, because it’s a given that usually we’re going to be contributing to the relationship anyway.
I was fortunate. I learned a lot of what you're talking about as a late teenager and in my twenties. I did my share of dating but also knew and felt that a relationship, while it could add good things, wasn't going to answer everything. When I did get married, it was good, But I still had to work out a number of independent issues on my own. So this video rang true to me, and of course, you add insights of your own which have enriched my original view of the subject.
We had a spark she looked like my ideal all those transgressions were explained away, whilst I projected onto her time and again. Its great to here I'm not alone in this, we are worth more than what ifs.
Wow! I literally just did this. Your so right, I projected so hard, I had no idea. I gotta watch this a few more times. Thank you for this video, helps me so much!
Wow. Thank you for this video! Your presence is really calming and realistic, its hard to explain but it actually brought me back to planet earth for a moment. I always struggle with loosing vision of real life when I obsess about something or someone, I loose vision of my purpose. Sometimes my vision in life even starts to seem lame to me, because the person I'm admiring seems so much cooler. Of course when the obsession passes, I get my vision back, even a bit stronger every time:) Its just hard to do what is best for you and bring yourself back down to earth if you believe that being in the clouds and daydreaming brings you at least a little bit closer towards the thing you are wishing for, but not really...
I actually have a video coming out on Sunday about letting go of obsessions and building on our own worldview. I think it will be very beneficial to you 😊
The story of my life. I think I had a least a dozen of those. Everything looks great at the beginning and then it all goes down somehow😞. And what I mean is that either the person doesn’t feel the same way or they turn out to be someone completely different than what I expected.❤️❤️❤️
Omg makes so much sense,I have been doing this so much and I need to stop and I really have to see whether someone is caring for me or not. It makes perfect sense. Thanks for making the video😇
I've realized this false image longer ago. Now I cannot fall for anyone like I used to. If I like someone I am nervous bcs of it, cause you know, could be my future wife. So I blow the first impression, maybe the second... It helps a bit that I try to see their flaws first, then I'm less attracted and maybe don't take the necessary step. Or they're taken. Or they are friend's friend's friend, so I cannot really meet them in person.
I gotta think. Last time there was a girl who approached me, but that was a long time ago. I wound up feeling like I got upper hand, so there was smaller chance I'd blow it because of stress. Since then, nothing. No clear strategy. I'm watching personality development videos and letting it soak in 😉
Great video, where were you when I was a high school student. This video could have saved from a few cringe-worthy moments. Ha ha... Good thing INFJ's are forward looking.
Hi wenzes,I'm glade you talked about this.i do the exact same thing.i always project an image on a person and later it turns out not to be true.i thought it was just me having wishful thinking.but I'm glade I'm not the only one.now I feel less weird."thank you"for another great video.
In other words,, you need to set boundaries towards narcy people and get closer towards empathetic genuine people. This is the best way to deal with people in general.
thank you soo much. lol at the begin of the year a guy i use to have a crush on in school facebook friend me. then i found myself crushing on him so hard again lol. i didnt handle it well at all, I was going through a lot of stuff at the time too, like a divorce and other stuff. my emotions like went crazy.
Wow, I'm a male intp and at first I thought this wouldn't be too interesting, but then you really started diving deep. I had too look up the function stack for infj because I was wondering if you had NE. It was getting pretty complex. My brain was on the edge of the seat. Well, not on the edge of the seat, but it was pretty awesome.
@@Wenzes What is really funny is remembering this happening back in high school but in a circle. Where someone likes you, but you aren't interested in them. But you have a crush on someone else, but they aren't interested in you but they are for someone else. In every instance in the circle this is happening. Everyone is projecting like you point out in your video. When you were talking about it I had a flashback to a particular instance when looking back. It really was true for everyone in the 'crush circle'. This might sound immature to point this out, but the point is that the reason why it was happening, and why I'm bringing high school up is because in high school everyone involved were immature and I figured I'd share because I'm sure it's probably universal and most anyone can relate for that reason. A chain of crushes.
Yep, INFJ and INTP really get along because of their NE similarity along with Fi and Ti - INFJs take feelings as seriously as INTPs take thoughts, but it's hard for both of us to express them.
A great song that wraps an INFJs propensity to fall so deeply that the other person becomes their entire world is Eddie Vedde “Black”. It can be argued that he uses a lot of FI and is not consistent with an INFJ. From my perspective, there is something about his use of NI/SE that rings a familiar bell to. Everyone should check it out if compelled to do so.
I've been working through a lot this past year and I realized that the first "relationship" i had I clung on to for 6 years because when my family moved it traumatized me a lot. These same sort of "beyond reach" crushes always appear in my life, perhaps because it's how I'm used to loving - a way of keeping myself feeling not good enough about myself. No more! It's time to LIVE. For some reason I think this is an INFJ thing. We find our self worth in becoming who someone wants us to be so when we find someone we can't be the right person for that we want to be with, it's soul crushing.
Lol you said Alex and I felt stress. Omg lol, fortunately I can laugh at myself XP. I love, what I love (art, meditation, nature). And I can see how to develop and create relationships from these passions. There have been painful opurtinities. That kept me to stay caring about what is right for me. I think in a romantic relationship someone consistantly adding/showing up in each others lives, right now is what you mean? And it going naturally, and not trying to force yourself nor the other to be fitting in a picture one or the other would adore having. I've discovered that asking direct questions, as well as meditation has helped me burst through the bubbles of pretences. I was not expecting the actual mentalities of people to have such an impact that we could get each other bound and stuck. I've also noticed people not moving 1 bodypart, 1 spark of energy my way... and I'm like... wait what? How is it that I keep wanting this person in my life? (Friends, family and whatnot) projection! Lol 100%. It's not a pleasant sensation to burst through bubbles with asking directly what a person expects versus expressing what I expect. It creates so much shifting in my world. It's exhausting. Yet I need it! Everyday, I make a choice to commit and give care to myself, cause I also am. And some wonderful people stick around and celebrate on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
![😱 КУПИЛ и ПРОКАЧАЛ СВИНКУ-КОМБАТ в Майнкрафт + Фиксплей [Полное прохождение]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CpSSw93Hkj4/mqdefault.jpg)
Wow. Had no idea this was an infj thing... I thought it was just me. Thank you so much.
Glad it‘s helpful 😊 yes, it happens a lot with infjs 👍
100% true :( I've been projecting my whole life! Thank you for this video, I needed it. I've recently begun projecting my dreams on my neighbor. He was nice and behaved like a gentleman a few times, he also seemed to have some great sense of humor. I started smiling more and then he became cold. I did nothing really. I don't know him at all. I just thought he was nice and liked him more. It's hard to leave the dreams and accept that he is obviously not interested, doesn't give me anything I want now and generally isn't for me. I love my projections even though they hurt. I'll try making a list of things I want in a partner and friend, as you suggested :) Thank you!
Yes, start with the list! Realizing what we have been doing that wasn’t good for us might be painful in the beginning but it gives us the necessary push in the right direction 👍😊
O God, this is exactly what is happening in my life.I am going through lot of struggles bcoz of this delusion.Thank you so much for the video.this was really helpful.
Glad to hear that! 😊
Wenzes, thank you. I think I need to watch this several times.
👍😊hope it‘s helpful
I don't get caught up in this fantasy now like I did in my younger years. I crushed on a guy in college for years; it wasn't until I finally got the nerve to spend time with him that I realized my image of him wasn't really who he was. And even then, when he didn't "pass back the ball" so to say, I was not upset about not experiencing his character; it was more like I had lost some sort of game or didn't achieve a goal. Now anytime I start to feel like an early flirtation is feeling like a game, I take it as a warning sign.
But I do still struggle with the shame of experiences like this when trying to focus on new possible relationships, afraid I can't trust my feelings and therefore express myself-, even now that I know better. Seeing this vid and some of the comments from others is really helpful in not feeling like it's been only my strange little secret. Thanks. :)
Btw, love the new hairstyle- very 90s-inspired, in a good way!
Thanks Kelsey 😊...and yes, I also went for a 90s vibe with my hair 😉
So many great points! Thank you! I've been struggling with exactly these problems for years, not knowing how to change my own pattern.
Glad it was helpful klara 😊👍❤️
Thank you! Story of my life and I really want to change this. And it’s not selfish either, because it’s a given that usually we’re going to be contributing to the relationship anyway.
Exactly 👍😊
I was fortunate. I learned a lot of what you're talking about as a late teenager and in my twenties. I did my share of dating but also knew and felt that a relationship, while it could add good things, wasn't going to answer everything. When I did get married, it was good, But I still had to work out a number of independent issues on my own.
So this video rang true to me, and of course, you add insights of your own which have enriched my original view of the subject.
😊❤️
We had a spark she looked like my ideal all those transgressions were explained away, whilst I projected onto her time and again.
Its great to here I'm not alone in this, we are worth more than what ifs.
Exactly! 👍👍👍
eye-opener, thank you!
glad it resonated with you 😊
Incredibly insightful video... Needed to hear this, thank you! :)
Thanks Marko! Glad to hear that 😊👍
Wow! I literally just did this. Your so right, I projected so hard, I had no idea. I gotta watch this a few more times. Thank you for this video, helps me so much!
Wow. Thank you for this video! Your presence is really calming and realistic, its hard to explain but it actually brought me back to planet earth for a moment. I always struggle with loosing vision of real life when I obsess about something or someone, I loose vision of my purpose. Sometimes my vision in life even starts to seem lame to me, because the person I'm admiring seems so much cooler. Of course when the obsession passes, I get my vision back, even a bit stronger every time:) Its just hard to do what is best for you and bring yourself back down to earth if you believe that being in the clouds and daydreaming brings you at least a little bit closer towards the thing you are wishing for, but not really...
I actually have a video coming out on Sunday about letting go of obsessions and building on our own worldview. I think it will be very beneficial to you 😊
The story of my life. I think I had a least a dozen of those. Everything looks great at the beginning and then it all goes down somehow😞. And what I mean is that either the person doesn’t feel the same way or they turn out to be someone completely different than what I expected.❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Wenzes! I hope you'll never delete these amazing videos! 💛💛💛🤗
Glad the videos are helpful 💜 no intention of deleting them 😃
love your current hairstyle :). Video as well.
Thank you ☺️
This is def one of your best videos and one of the most important ♥️
Omg makes so much sense,I have been doing this so much and I need to stop and I really have to see whether someone is caring for me or not. It makes perfect sense. Thanks for making the video😇
❤️
This video showed up in my suggestions at the perfect time .. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! So relatable right now!
❤️
I've realized this false image longer ago. Now I cannot fall for anyone like I used to. If I like someone I am nervous bcs of it, cause you know, could be my future wife. So I blow the first impression, maybe the second...
It helps a bit that I try to see their flaws first, then I'm less attracted and maybe don't take the necessary step. Or they're taken. Or they are friend's friend's friend, so I cannot really meet them in person.
So what is your strategy then for a successful datint situation?
I gotta think. Last time there was a girl who approached me, but that was a long time ago. I wound up feeling like I got upper hand, so there was smaller chance I'd blow it because of stress. Since then, nothing. No clear strategy. I'm watching personality development videos and letting it soak in 😉
👍😊
Thank you. This was a very helpful explanation. Went through this awhile back just as you described. Solid advice.
Great video, where were you when I was a high school student. This video could have saved from a few cringe-worthy moments. Ha ha... Good thing INFJ's are forward looking.
;) glad it resonates with you...we always find the right lessons when we are ready for them ;)
Great subject - thank you!
Glad you liked it Val! Hope it was helpful 👍😊
Wow... You are so on point. Thank you so much for this ❤
Thank you! This helped so much! 😊
Hi wenzes,I'm glade you talked about this.i do the exact same thing.i always project an image on a person and later it turns out not to be true.i thought it was just me having wishful thinking.but I'm glade I'm not the only one.now I feel less weird."thank you"for another great video.
Glad you liked it 😊👍
In other words,, you need to set boundaries towards narcy people and get closer towards empathetic genuine people. This is the best way to deal with people in general.
At this stage in my life I like Byron Katie´s philosophy she says "No people have ever met" Happy New Year Wenzes!!!!!
So true!! Happy New year to you too Anna ☺️
Sorry, it´s "No two people have ever met" Byron Katie
I knew what you meant 😊
thank you soo much. lol at the begin of the year a guy i use to have a crush on in school facebook friend me. then i found myself crushing on him so hard again lol. i didnt handle it well at all, I was going through a lot of stuff at the time too, like a divorce and other stuff. my emotions like went crazy.
Hope the video helped you to make sense of that situation 👍😊
@@Wenzes it did. thank you
I love you Wenzes, INFJs need guidance
Wow, I'm a male intp and at first I thought this wouldn't be too interesting, but then you really started diving deep. I had too look up the function stack for infj because I was wondering if you had NE. It was getting pretty complex. My brain was on the edge of the seat. Well, not on the edge of the seat, but it was pretty awesome.
Awesome! Glad you liked it 😊
@@Wenzes What is really funny is remembering this happening back in high school but in a circle. Where someone likes you, but you aren't interested in them. But you have a crush on someone else, but they aren't interested in you but they are for someone else. In every instance in the circle this is happening. Everyone is projecting like you point out in your video.
When you were talking about it I had a flashback to a particular instance when looking back. It really was true for everyone in the 'crush circle'. This might sound immature to point this out, but the point is that the reason why it was happening, and why I'm bringing high school up is because in high school everyone involved were immature and I figured I'd share because I'm sure it's probably universal and most anyone can relate for that reason.
A chain of crushes.
That should be a title of a book 😉! I know what you mean 😊
Yep, INFJ and INTP really get along because of their NE similarity along with Fi and Ti - INFJs take feelings as seriously as INTPs take thoughts, but it's hard for both of us to express them.
A great song that wraps an INFJs propensity to fall so deeply that the other person becomes their entire world is Eddie Vedde “Black”. It can be argued that he uses a lot of FI and is not consistent with an INFJ. From my perspective, there is something about his use of NI/SE that rings a familiar bell to. Everyone should check it out if compelled to do so.
👍😊
I get obsessed the problem is telling the crush how you feel about her
Hi guys! What experiences have you made in this direction?! Let's share and uplift each other!
I've been working through a lot this past year and I realized that the first "relationship" i had I clung on to for 6 years because when my family moved it traumatized me a lot. These same sort of "beyond reach" crushes always appear in my life, perhaps because it's how I'm used to loving - a way of keeping myself feeling not good enough about myself. No more! It's time to LIVE. For some reason I think this is an INFJ thing. We find our self worth in becoming who someone wants us to be so when we find someone we can't be the right person for that we want to be with, it's soul crushing.
Girl...... 👏🏻👏🏻
Wenzes is looking right into my eyes right now while she is talking to me. She must be interested in me!
IAM so unlucky picking decent girl I pretty much give up
Lol you said Alex and I felt stress. Omg lol, fortunately I can laugh at myself XP.
I love, what I love (art, meditation, nature). And I can see how to develop and create relationships from these passions.
There have been painful opurtinities. That kept me to stay caring about what is right for me.
I think in a romantic relationship someone consistantly adding/showing up in each others lives, right now is what you mean? And it going naturally, and not trying to force yourself nor the other to be fitting in a picture one or the other would adore having.
I've discovered that asking direct questions, as well as meditation has helped me burst through the bubbles of pretences. I was not expecting the actual mentalities of people to have such an impact that we could get each other bound and stuck.
I've also noticed people not moving 1 bodypart, 1 spark of energy my way... and I'm like... wait what? How is it that I keep wanting this person in my life? (Friends, family and whatnot) projection! Lol 100%.
It's not a pleasant sensation to burst through bubbles with asking directly what a person expects versus expressing what I expect. It creates so much shifting in my world. It's exhausting. Yet I need it! Everyday, I make a choice to commit and give care to myself, cause I also am. And some wonderful people stick around and celebrate on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
❤️...the last guy I had this situation with was called Alex 😊 sorry it made you feel uncomfortable ☺️ wasn‘t my intention
@@Wenzes hahaha, the name got me too. Wenzes u psychic. Thanks for this video!
😜
@@Wenzes yeah
I’m sorry I love your videos and keep forgetting about clicking Like 😳
So good. Thanks Wenzes.
Thanks Aaron 😊