Gilmore Girls Gets Therapized - Dinner Fight
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
- You asked for it! We answered in a BIG way! Gilmore Girls reacts! While ignoring problems and shoving down emotions can be tempting, it isn't the best move. Why? They always show back up, and often at the worst times. Having the hard conversations can be hard, but offer up more healing and better relationships.
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00:00 Gilmore Girls Dinner fight
01:00 Gilmore Girls clip
03:00 Deflecting in tense situations
05:30 Pent up emotions, only lead to break down
07:20 Gilmore Girls clip
12:00 When to walk away from a fight
14:20 Emily shows grace
#gilmoregirls #getstherapized #mendedlight #jonathandecker
One thing I noticed is *when* she brought up politics. She brought it up when Strobe started to pick on Rory. Then she brought up politics and effectively brought their attention and insults back onto herself, rather than her daughter. I don’t think she did this to intentionally cause drama or a fight, but to protect her daughter against people who were trying to bring her down.
That is my exact thoughts, that is a very good point. Lorelai is a beautiful and kind mother to Rory. I love her and Rory’s relationship very much
Yea good point!
It’s also ALWAYS baffled me how his parents had any right to take it out on Lore. She has always given Chris an in road to be a father to Rory, and yet he never was! Shouldnt that be more shameful than “he didnt go to the right college?” Because tbh, if he wasnt helping raise Rory, why didnt Chris go to college?
Richard and Emily’s pain has always made sense to me. But Strobe and Francine are only there to be butt hurt about their own parenting failures as if that is Lorelai’s fault.
Chris having an in road to being a father to Rory wasn’t important to Strobe and Francine. They didn’t care about Chris being a good father. They cared about appearances. The two options were 1. Abort the pregnancy 2. Get married. Chris was abiding in getting married. Lorelai was not. Therefore, Lorelai gets the blame in their eyes.
exactly that's what ive never understood, why didn't Chris go to Princeton ultimately, he didn't HAVe to drop out of school, he wasn't there taking care of Rory, so why couldn't he have gone, how do they not realize that that was HIS choice
@@patriciaramirez2982I think they realize it was Chris's choice to not go to Princeton. However they don't want to admit that because if they did they wouldn't have Lorelai to blame it on and therefore they would have to admit that it was Chris's, and by extension their, fault. As was said by another commenter they are all about appearances, which is rich considering they don't even give the appearance of caring at all about their granddaughter!
I think they blame Lorelai. They see a correlation between them getting together as teens and him becoming more irresponsible. They don't se that it was him just being a teenager. Everything else is them just caring about appearances
@@patriciaramirez2982 Because they prefer to be in denial about that and want a third party to put the blame on.
Christopher admits that pregnancy or not, he didn't want to go to Princeton, so Lorelai has nothing to do with it. But if they admit it was Christopher's choice all along, in their minds they also failed as parents because their golden child didn't turn out like they wanted to.
These are the kinds of parents that have their kid's lives all planned out from birth, and Lorelai getting pregnant and Rory being born was never a part of their plan which is why they refuse to have anything to do with them, and Christopher deciding to not attend Princeton just adds to the animosity because they can connect the two as being the reason their whole plan burned up in flames.
These scenes show how passive Christopher is. He lets life happen to him and doesn't learn from, or take ownership over his mistakes.
He did break up the fight though so he broke his passivity briefly
I noticed that too
Some people are not interested in being a control freak, and are more willing to go with the flow.
@@sneakerbabefulyea imo being too easy going is a negative thing!
“And you brought up bush because..?” Because Lorelai wanted to take the pressure off of Rory. Wow Chris. What did you say to shield your daughter?
Chris lost nothing cos of Rory’s existence. Chris didn’t go to college because he didn’t want to. Chris did not even lift a finger in parenting Rory
Honestly I'm sure Richard is grateful that Rory exist. I mean he and Rory are so much alike intellectually and probably kindred spirits.
This technically doesn't make any sense but, a pregnancy and a child are completely different
@@radhiadeedou8286- a “pregnancy” and a person may be two different things (depending on perception), but a child cannot exist without a conception and pregnancy to bring them to fruition. If Christopher and Lorelei had not conceived Rory (or Lorelei had terminated the pregnancy as Strobe clearly insinuated **he** felt she should have), Rory would not exist. So in that sense, the original comment does still stand.
And frankly, when I watched this the first time as a teen, I thought Richard snapped because Strobe was referring to Rory as an object while Richard and Emily often treat Rory as the child they wish Lorelai had been. To Strobe, Rory is the curse. To Richard and Emily, Rory is the redemption. Both are wrong (Lorelai, Christopher, and Rory are their own people, after all) but if I had to choose in this situation, I’d still side with Richard.
They're not alike, but their dynamic is very cute
@@reasonablyserious I think they are similar that's what a kindred spirit is. She is her own person he is his but everytime they had a cute moment it was obvious they had a lot in common.
@@rivendells_shona amen
What gets me about Strobe's comments is that Christopher didn't have to do a thing to change his academic plans. He and Lorelai split. She raised Rory alone. I think he just wasn't cut out for the fancy Ivy League university and didn't want to go anyway. His dad just doesn't want to admit that it wasn't an external force stopping Christopher from being all he hoped he would be. Sorry, dude, your kid just didn't want to follow in your footsteps. And from that display I wouldn't blame him either.
Also has any of them given any thought to how words like "mistake" coming up in the conversation could affect Rory? The kid has only just left the room. She can hear you! That "mistake" to which you are referring led to her existence after all!
I do desperately wish Lorelai had called out Strobe during this conversation. Christopher planned to run away to Europe and NOT go to Princeton. He literally tries to convince her to run off with him and it’s LORELAI who tells him that’s not the plan. She says to him, “I was supposed to graduate high school. Go to Vassar. Marry a Yale man. Get a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny or Shih Tzu.”
Christopher literally did nothing. Absolutely nothing. He didn’t fight for them or go to college. He just messed around. He wasn’t paying child support. He wasn’t actively helping to raise Rory. He hadn’t been to Stars Hollow until that episode. So what exactly was stopping him?
@@andihunter7104 yeah. Lorelai handed him an out on a silver platter by not marrying him (not that that stops a man from doing anything in these social circles - they still live with 1950s gender roles). He had absolutely no excuse for not going other than he simply didn't want to. It's absolutely valid to not want to attend university but he should have had the guts to tell that to his dad rather than standing by and letting him trash talk his ex for a decade and a half.
Emily did give thought to the effects of calling Rory a 'mistake', which is why she went to talk to her at least. I will never understand Straub and Francine, how in the world can they stand there and act like it is at all okay that they haven't made any attempt to see their 16 year old. granddaughter since she was a baby?
That's the thing, though, right? Straub just needed to blame something and Lorelai/Rory were the most convenient scapegoat. If Chris hadn't gotten Lorelai pregnant, Straub would have just found something else to blame his "failure" on, like a biased teacher or affirmative action "stealing" his place at Princeton. It doesn't matter that it makes no logical sense because what Straub is doing isn't logical - it's an emotional reaction onto which he has clumsily retrofitted a "reason."
Remember, only virgins get into the ivy league - the only actual reason Christopher couldn't have made it in because of Rory. It's not like he was a very dedicated baby sitter.
Edward Hermann was an amazing actor. He could convey so much feeling with his face. Richard wasn't always right in the series, he had human flaws, but Edward's acting was incredible. There's one scene in particular where he doesn't even say a word, but he conveys everything he feels so perfectly. So much complexity and emotion. Great character.
Hermann was brilliant. Curious which scene you’re referencing where he wordlessly conveys what Richard’s feeling. I was always struck by the emotion in his voice he says “the brightest in her class”. I also recall his expressions in “Let the Games Begin” when he tells Rory about 10 year old Lorelai announcing that she was going to go to Yale and keeping his diploma on the wall in her room for 6 months. Interesting play of different emotions on his face and Rory’s face in that scene.
@@Pathfinder197 - The one after he talks with Huntzburger in the bathroom, realizes Lorelai was right, comes out and sees Rory. His face encompasses all his regret, disappointment, and realization that the talented, bright, beautiful granddaughter that he was so proud of was reduced to playing hostess for the DAR. It's all of it, all at once, in a flash across his face as he looks at Rory.
Unfortunately the effect was to make her acting seem so wooden and lacking all emotion. Good for her, she memorized the words and repeated them back.
Yes although he is very flawed Richard is still a sympathetic character. The scene that really gets me is when he finds out how awful the newspaper man was to Rory about her dream of being a journalist, and he is furious and yells at him "you crushed that little girl!" He truly does love Rory deeply. ❤
@@kscott2655also remember the scene when we landed in the hospital(the first time) during Christmas dinner. Lorelai avoided visiting him until the last minute but when she did…they both conveyed so much with their emotions without uttering a word. I always thought that was a great scene.
There is nothing Lorelai could have done better in her talk with Richard.
The way she has grown and knows her parents better than her self is just amazing
True, to a point. There are a few instances later on where Emily and even Richard come through for Lorelai (where she is surprised bc she thought she had them figured out). Also, there are things she notices about her parents (esp now that she's an adult and mother herself) that are a bit of an "aha" moment for her.
We are the way we are.. And we make our choices.. And while knowing some of what factored into who we've become (and what we do) may explain at least *some* of the "why," it doesn't necessarily excuse it. But, even if it doesn't excuse it, there is value in understanding...and maybe a little peace for ourselves.
To be fair, I reckon most people probably often know those who are close to them better than they know themselves.
In this episode...
I seriously want a series of therapizing Gilmore Girls per episode.
I'd also love to see you talk about Lane and her mother.
Or where Rory tells Christopher to stay away once Lorelai and Luke get together.
And the ordeal with Emily that breaks them up where Richard steps up to maintain contact.
And so many more! Basically I need a video like this of moments per episode! Thank you! ❤
This moment with Emily is my favorite in the whole series. I loved seeing the softer side of Emily and a glimpse into who she could be with Lorelei. Great video!
gilmore girls really is a treasure trove for a therapist to react to lmfaoo there’s so much to dissect
Richard stands up for his daughter, then screws it up. 😞
I mean how awful would it be to finally feel like you were being loved unconditionally and your dad was being your champion against the kind of person he usually wants to impress only to realise that it wasn't about love for you and your kid at all but his own wounded pride and name? Emily and Richard loved the idea of their daughter but not the person that she was. And that's deeply sad.
It appears that that's the case with a lot of 'society' people like this. Their kids are not people but accessories they can introduce at dinner parties to their bussiness associates to make polite conversation. Vessels to continue the legacy who's achievements can be appropriated by their emotionally indifferent parents. Who's personalities can be buried under enough expectation.
I don't blame Lorelai for rejecting that life. It sounds unbelievably suffocating and for what? A pool in the garden, uncomfortable expensive clothes your overbearing mother picks out for you (deliberately small so she has an excuse to berate you about something else) and a fancy house? Give me a bungalow in Stars Hollow any day.
He takes after Trix who was also emotionally unavailable.
I cry every time I see this scene cause it resonates with me so much. My father also said things similar "You don't need anyone, you made that very clear"
One time I asked for help/protection on the phone and he left me alone. A creep wanted me to go into his car, when we were waiting on the bus station and I didn't feel comfortable taking the bus afterwards, cause I got paranoid that this guy might follow the bus with his car (because why would he be at the bus station and leave right before the bus arrives). So I called home but my father misunderstood me and refused to pick me up cause he thought I accepted the offer of the creep. I am glad my brother helped me but I never felt so left alone by my father than in this moment.
That was 9 years ago but I am sobbing writing this right now.
I should talk with him about this even it may be the first time in years I cry in front of my father, but I fear that I will chicken out again...
I get it. My parents cry now that I never asked them for help with my problems, but when I came to them in the past, they minimized it or made fun of me. Hell, in the last year I had to move back home because of medical issues and housing issues. I ended up having to go on medical leave for about three weeks without pay. My parents still pressured me to pay their rent, even though they're my parents and they knew that I didn't have much saved up due to my two recent moves and all my medical bills. They were even stealing my food and called me selfish when I told them to stop taking it without asking. @@larafranke1802
I am heartbroken for Lorelei in this scene. She did the right thing expressing gratitude to her dad and even though I know where he’s coming from, I still feel hurt for her when he doesn’t say he loves her back and just gets mad at instead 😭 it’s always hard to watch, especially since Lorelei has done a lot to heal her relationship with her parents and they don’t always appreciate her for it. I always just want to hug her!
I'd like to see you react to season 2 episode 2, "Hammers and Veils"-- particularly the scenes revolving around Lorelai hesitating to tell her mother about her engagement and the way Emily responds. It's a great example of what this show does so well: a fight where you can see where both sides are coming from. But man, the way Emily turns things around on Lorelai in that episode always makes me so angry.
Emily has this really interesting pattern where anytime she feels vulnerable or guilty at all, she turns around and projects it onto Lorelai and takes it out on her. (Examples that come to mind are in "Emily in Wonderland" (1.19) and "There's the Rub" (2.16). And Lorelai occasionally does a similar thing, just with whoever happens to be nearest. The post-dance fight in "Rory's Dance" (1.9) would be great to react to, it shows them both doing it.
That ep ends with such a world class apology from Lor! It really shows who she is at ❤️ Great pick for a reaction!
Emily has no valid side in Hammers and Veils. she should have just reacted with happiness that Lorelai told her at all, given how atrocious a mother she was. Emily has no justification and she just made things worse for herself and for Lorelai by reacting with anger and screaming.
@@RilianSharp agreed!
Please do more on Gilmore Girls! I thoroughly enjoyed this analysis 😊
What needs to follow is him evaluating friday night's alright for fighting 6 years later lol.
Can you therapize the fight between Lorelai and Emily from Season 1 Episode 9 when Rory didn’t come home after her dance. Not sure if you did that one yet. It’s one of my favorite scenes in the show.
yes please! such a moving scene.
You could make a whole channel doing therapy on just this show. Ngl...i would absolutely watch it
I love that you brought up how Emily was with Rory! That is my favorite moment of that episode.
What Emily said to Rory and that she said it was important. And she meant it,you feel that.
I'm so glad you're covering Gilmore Girls. The material is so rich! I'd love to see your take on Rory's 'downfall' in later seasons-- e.g., her sleeping with Dean, Mitchum's rejection and its aftermath, her situation in the remake of the show. I know some people find these elements of the show irritating, but I enjoy how it adds complexity, and frankly realism to Rory's character. I think there's lots to unpack.
Thank you! You took my request out of my mouth.
Would you agree that Rory never got a chance to be an actual kid?
@@daniellevinson6975 ooh interesting! I think there's something to that. A precocious kid that because of her precociousness didn't make the mistakes you need to make in order to become a robust adult. Lorelai's own development is stunted in a way which interestingly mirrors yet contrasts Rory's.
@@celiacoll9747 Because of Lorelei's stunted development, Rory had to start compensating for her at such a tender age, *just* to keep Lorelei on the ball!
Of course, people's belief in Rory came encoded with immense pressure.
Some moments to therapize in Gilmore Girls:
1. When Luke sees her face (you’ll know it when you get there. Any GG fan knows what I’m talking about)
2. Rory’s first time
3. The fight in Friday Nights Alright for Fighting.
4. Someone has already recommended it but I second the episode “Hammers and Veils.” It has one of my fav Lorelia and Emily conversations.
Hi- this has nothing to do with the conveersation(about the greatest show ever broadcast in existence!!) . But, I just came across a Jerry sienfeld production about Pop Tarts. That was a Gilmore Girls famous food! I first thought it would tie in with our Girls in the Netflix thing, but I'm doubting it. Anyway, the name Pop Tart had me excited for a minute, thinking it was Gilmoreconnected!
Friday Nights Alright for Fighting is like one big therapy session
"Do you see her face?" is by far my fav part of the series. It's just so so good!!
That scene between Emily and Rory is among my Top 10 favorite moments of the show!
Richard loves Rory more than anything in the world💕
When Rory walked around his office in A Year in the life made me cry!!!
I’d love to see you react to Emily’s arch throughout A Year in the Life. It’s really nice because it’s her trying to figure out who she is and how her life is now as a widow.
It’s really nice
He should have loved his daughter too. He never cared for Lorelai and that makes him a bad person. He only idealized Rory but didn't even know her anyway.
I applaud Emily in this scene with Rory because she said all the right things. Strobe and Francine are the ones who missed out on such a wonderful relationship with such a funny, smart, and wonderful granddaughter because of their pride.
OMG This is great! The Gilmore's definitely could've used some therapy.
Also, I would love to see your take on the dinner fight on, I believe, season 6, episode 13 and the chaos of it 👀
I would love that too!
I’m a Rory here! My…existence, so to speak, rocked 2 families and was the point of contention.
I want to have these tough conversations with both families- both have treated me well now, for years, but there’s a cloud of uncertainty and uncomfortableness that looms above us. I don’t press about having the tough conversations but it hurts. We just play along our days…..it’s tough.
I really don't get how these damaging comments taking place in front of Rory aren't addressed. Poor Rory! She's a fantastic kid, not a mistake.
I got a little farther and I see that it is addressed - but I was screaming for Rory's defense the whole time.
At 3:08, I love how Lorelai sees what's coming and turns the spotlight on herself to protect Rory. Rory should never have been put in this position in the first place, but at least the Gilmores circle the wagons for her (in their own ways).
I know I am autistic, and I believe that my late husband was one too. We were born in an age where you were rarely diagnosed. One of the things that made it hard for both of us to have hard conversations was that we reacted so badly to the other's body language. It was even more triggring than the original grievance. When we sat side by side or back-to-back but we could hear each other, we could have the hard conversations and do the hard work. We just had to get over the sensory hurdle of reacting to each other's reactiveness.
This resonates a lot for me. I'm ADHD, suspect maybe autistic, and I feel my husband has autistic traits as well. We have our most productive disagreements over text chat for exactly this reason. He often can't control his tone and volume, and I can't ignore it (and vice versa with my facial expressions).
@@ayerhead07 Texting is a god send for me! Pretty sure I'm AuDHD too. Before texting existed, I would write letters, but things would be too much for me at that point already... Texting really helps to get over the little things easily so they don't become big things!
When you labeled it the “dinner fight” I for sure thought it was the equally infamous one in later seasons (maybe even the last season?). Definitely looking forward to that one 😆
I think it's in season 6? But agreed, can't wait til he gets to that scene!
15:36 Lorelai and Emily have had a rough relationships but they have come together in times of need and been there for each other like when Lorelai comes through for Emily and sees her pain when she sees the away Richard’s mother acts (1.18) and I love that Emily and Lorelai have a relationship where they will be at each other’s throats but they are also there for each other when they need it most like when and on Emily’s part it happened when she looked after Lorelai when she hurt her back (1.9) or moments where they joke with each other or just have a nice Friday dinner, I think that their relationship is beautiful because both Lorelai and Emily are trying really hard to fix their relationship.
Richard and Lorelai haven’t quite done that yet.
I love Emily for trying with Lorelai as hard as she possibly can
I would love to see the scene where Dean ignores Rory's request for a simple night without him and he shows up anyway, cause he has no bounderies and then they fight over jess. Would be interesting to see your analyses of Dean, Rory, Jess and Paris her reaction to the situation as well. Since she felt the need to protect Rory
I used to avoid confronting people. Not because I was afraid to, but because I didn't think the other person would care enough to work with me to get to a resolution, so it was pointless. So I just swallowed a lot from people or drifted away from them.
In recent years I've tried confronting people and standing up for myself only to find my original sense that they wouldn't care was true. I keep getting brushed off.
I *want* to have these conversations and find resolutions, but no one else will participate.
Also, I love Gilmore Girls and am eagerly looking forward to more.
yeah i also struggle with a similar issue. it’s incredibly difficult and frustrating to be vulnerable enough to share your hurt with someone and they simply don’t care. as of recent i realized that people only hear what they want to hear, and many people put up a wall toward confrontation and act like they don’t care because it’s the only way to protect themselves from taking accountability. now that i’ve recognized this i find it more important than ever to be up front with people that hurt me to give myself peace. even if they don’t care, i’m actively taking steps toward standing up for myself and healing my inner child, so no matter what people’s reactions are it doesn’t matter because they’re actually helping me heal in the end
Maybe the problem is that they can’t see things from any point of view other than their own.. your experiences don’t match theirs and they can’t understand that
Gilmore Girls season 6 episode “Friday Night’s Already for Fighting” is a must watch!
I understand where Lorelei is coming from. There was a time when I really needed my mom's emotional support and unconditional love and what I got was control and expectation. It did a lot of damage to our relationship, it was only after I was an adult that I could see past myself in the situation and understand her perspective and why she responded the way she did. Even after doing that, the fact that she has never met me in that perspective taking and says she has no idea why I was angry at her for so long, still hurts. But she has my understanding and forgiveness even if she never takes accountability, because I didn't forgive her for her sake, I did it for mine, so that I could stop wasting energy being mad and have a better relationship with someone I love.
Exactly forgiveness is more for you then for the person who hurt you as long as you keep holding on to the anger and resentment the more power they have over you once you forgive you take the power back you make the choice to let it go and finally be free
I'd love to see a video about Lane and Mrs Kims relationship. I think they've come the longest way by far throughout the show.
I have definitely been called out. 😅 I struggle with bottling my feelings. I have literally said to my partner that I can’t talk to you cause it will just become an argument. Confrontation is difficult for me and telling someone about my negative feelings feels like a confrontation to me. I love the way you put it. That it is a self-fulfilling prophecy to bottle everything up. I need to remember that.
Like you I have struggled with bottling my emotions up for years since I was a child
If you're going through the entire Gilmore Girls series, I'd love to see an episode on Luke and how he experiences / shows emotions.
I would LOVE for you to show "Friday's Alright For a Fight". Especially the Dinner in that episode. That would be sweet to watch.
I'm always soooo Sad when I watch this Episode because I also loved when Richard defended Lorelai and I loved when she thanked him. I also think Lorelai grown very much. Some people say she never even tries to fix her relationship with her parents but I don't see that. I think she tries the most. Richard was very cold to her even though she was trying to validate his feelings. I really wish they could have resolved something here, but to a storytelling point of views I also love how they didn't let that happen.
I’d love to see a reaction to the scene after the dance at chilton when Rory doesn’t come home, you see a perspective of Lorelei and Emily’s relationship and it’s the first big fight Rory and Lorelei have on the show
I have difficult conversations with my father, usually about his health, by prefacing my comments/worries/advice with "Dad, I only say this because I love you..." or something like that. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I keep my tone quiet and my words very measured.
This scene always makes me cry.
My parents are simply not open to certain tough conversations in any way, shape, or form. That's hard but there's nothing I can do to make them choose differently.
I loved this video! I honestly have a problem of bottling things in for way too long. But since I have a fear of confrontation, that doesn't usually lead to an ugly fight- it usually leads to over-obsession about the past, inwardly, and unhealthy patterns within my mind. But a lot of conversations I want to have with people, I can't for various reasons. But this video, your commentary, inspired me to try and start to have those difficult conversations.
Also, please continue the Gilmore Girls series. It is such a nostalgic show for me because I grew up without internet, phone, cable, any of that stuff. We were pretty broke. (Single mom raising two daughters working a minimum wage job- can't afford fancy stuff.) But we owned all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD, so when we ran out of cheap movies to rent or books to read or whatever, we started this show all over again lol. I've seen it all the way through probably 30 times. And I love your reactions and analysis. Keep it up!
Resolving past issues is something I would very much like to have a recipe for. Sadly I fear the only way is if both parties are willing to do so, to have the difficult conversations, trade points of view, listen and accept. And when one of the parties is the parent and the other the "child", having them recognize the hurt they caused and how wrong they were... Well, I still haven't managed to have that with mine and I'm closer to 40 than 30. We are all adults now but at some point, I had to accept I would never have the apology I thought I needed. It can't come if the end of every heart-to-heart is "I can't apologize, I'm the parent". Old culture dies hard, and I think the biggest thing I learned was that sometimes the healthiest way is to recognize you tried for years; if and when they open their eyes it's not up to you.
The point about bottling up emotions to avoid "ugly" conversations/confrontations which eventually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when everything inevitably spills out is literally the reasons for all major conflicts on this show... a prime example being the Lorelai/Luke ultimatum...
Can we have a s2 of AYITL but instead of having eps dedicated to the seasons we get a revival about all of the core characters going to this therapist with each ep being dedicated to a character?
Maybe a look at Lorelai's relationship with Luke. It's actually fascinating.
#TeamLuke
@@kelliehorn1082 Early Luke is the best. Later on he's writen like a sitcom character and I'm not a fan.
@@NortherlyK that's cause they dumbed him down as the show went on 😭
I’m so happy you’re reacting to GG!! The joy is overwhelming. I’m borderline unwell!!
I remember watching this as a teenager - I always thought it was weird that Rory never knew her paternal grand parents. Now that I'm a grown adult with kids - I find it horrifying.
Emily's statement about disappointment is one of my favorite moments. Kelly Bishop was wonderful in this role.
After the series you should see the miniseries, I love Emilys change there
You saying that you will work through the whole show made me so happy! Thank you, I can't wait. This show means so much to me and so many other people.
OMG you don't know how happy I am with this video! You have to react to Friday night dinner moments. Maybe when Emily pushed Rory to play golf with Richard? Or when Emily showed her vulnerability when she knew Lorelai and Rory were living in the potsherd when they were young? Emily is such a complex character and I'd be happy if you could react to her moments. Thank you!
Thank you for more Gilmore Girls reactions! Really enjoying them.
What i find interesting is that the pattern i have noticed witrh Lorelei and her parents is that when she does try to vulnerable she gets puniahed for it. So lorelai uses humor to cope. And then this coping mechanism gets her more venom.
The scene with Emily always makes me well up. Imagine being Rory and hearing, probably for as long as she remembers, that her conception caused so many problems and strife within the family. People in general hearing how young Lorelai was when she got pregnant making comments. I think Lorelai says it in a previous episode, but it was nice to have that moment from Emily where she outright tells Rory that her existence is not, never has been and never will be considered a disappointment.
Love this video!!! Not me who also got a bit distracted by the books in the background🤭
Okay, SAME!
Yup. I paused so I could identify them all. 😂
I wish you had finished this episode and showed how Lorelei’s reaction to this is to forget her promise to paint for Luke and instead get drunk and sleep with Christopher. Lorelei always gets called out for self destructive behavior but this episode is one of the best at directly connecting it to being hurt by her parents behavior.
Love that you’re talking about Gilmore Girls! There’s so much to say about it
The scene between Richard and Lorelei is just incredibly well acted!
Great video, I could watch dozens of videos just about Gilmore Girls scenes
This was my favorite episode of the first season. The main four characters are very imperfect but genuine. Emily's talk to Rory was very grandmotherly.
I actually love Lorelei in this episode. She saw Strobe being insulting to her daughter and immediately leapt to her defense by misdirecting his ire on herself. She knew he was spoiling for a fight and she knew she could take it. When it got heated she sent Rory, her CHILD, out of the room. She was never defended and you can tell she is shocked when Richard does defend her and that's what leaves her left footed for the rest of the night because it's never happened before. There's a lot said about how Lorelei has failed Rory by not being as strict with Rory as her parents as her parents were with her but she's been a hell of a lot more supportive and protective.
The point that got me is toward the end of the episode is how Lorelai thanks Richard for sticking up for her and he says he did it because the Gilmore name was being insulted. Richard cares more about appearances than he does about her and he is wondering why Lorelai cut both him and Emily off for 14 years.
Oh boy this one was a long time coming lol 😆
Christopher's parents put he Gilmores into prospective.
Please more Girlmore Girls! And please do some Bojack, it's a Freudian dream, I promise.
Please do more Gilmore Girls!!! In fact, i would not object to you doing the entire series! ALL of them need serious couch time lol
Oh, that is the plan!
There are so many I’d love to see but these are my top two episodes “Wedding Bell Blues" (Season 5, Episode 13) and "Gilmore Girls Only" (Season 7, Episode 17)
I do love Emily making sure Rory knows she is in no way a disappointment and is the complete innocent in all this. I like to think this is how she thinks but because she was caught in the parental role as she understood it she couldn't be this logical with Lorelai. The emotions messed her relationship up. As a grandparent a step further removed she is actually better at relating to her grand daughter. She's certainly much more fair with her and her well-being is her number one concern.
Once you've finished both the seven series and the seasons epilogue bit, I'd love you to have an episode talking wider about how Lorelie as a parent, including how she's trying to make sure her daughter doesn't make the same "mistakes" she did (with school and relationships) and she can't ultimately make her kid always make the right choices - even though they have a much closer relationship than she did with her parents.
It's like through the bravado with her parents, where she sticks up for herself and the life shes built (which is awesome!) still the worse thing for her seems to be the idea of Rory following in her footsteps.
The episodes about the party and after the party are probably relevant here, as well as her gping through her own estrangement from Rory when she stays with Emily and Richard. As well as the epiloguey bits about things coming full circle a bit.
An episode comparing Christopher and Luke's fatherhood journeys and whether Rory learned anything from them when it came to her own decision in the end.
The video i´ve waited for
Yesss! More Gilmore Girls content!!
Thank you for this! This fight has always been one of my favourite scenes from the entire series and the part where Emily reassures Rory that she has a place and a purpose in that family is one of my top moments of the show.
I love the scene between Rory and Emily. As the son born to a single mother in a somewhat old fashioned southern family there are some who will make you feel as though your birth was a mistake or a burden to your family. But luckily for me every single member of my mother's family always treated me like I was a treasure. In fact I was so close to my mothers 4 sisters it felt like I had multiple moms who did their best to make sure I had everything I needed.
I love how you have your own videos too. But love the cinema Therapy channel too. Watch it all the time (as long as I have seen the movie).
His emotional outburst is probably to show his love for her. The following conversation, he has his guards and learned restrictions back up.
no, i really think he defended her only because he fought for his family's name. lorelai is a part of his family, so he had to step up. but he didn't do it for her, he did it for himself and for his pride
I would watch every single episode covered by you, don't stop!
So happy you're going through Gilmore Girls!!!
Love this show ♥I always hated how immature and petty Lorelai was, but I agree in this episode she was very mature and respectful.
The tough conversations I had in the past years have all gone well. I usually focus on honesty, saying how I feel, that I hesitate to talk about this, that something is diffivult to admit, all these very vulnerable things... Then I show kindness, respect and understanding towards the other person and what they're going through. But besides that I also think that I have wonderful people around me and with them these conversations about issues are safe.
One of my favorite reaction of yours so far
I really loved this episode of Gilmore Girls you analyzed! There are soo many different relations between people in GM. For example the relationship between Rory and Jess. Would love to see another analysis of GM.
Wow, it's like the message of this video was made especially for me to hear right now. I have two of those conversations that I need to have but are very scared for. I will have them though.
Please therapize "Friday night's alright for fighting". It's my favorite episode because they finally talk about their problems for real and they commit to staying untill they are done talking.
I really relate to this show because Emily reminds me so much of my own mother (except physically abusive as well). Then I had 3 boys of my own who are all teenagers now and I ended up, much like Lorelei, trying to be more of a best friend to them than a parent. I can tell you from my own experience that neither option is ideal but it's sooo hard to find the right balance!
We have almost the exact same taste in books. I think I have read 90% of what is on your shelves.
Can you please do an episode on Sandy Cohen’s parenting in the OC?!? And maybe throw some of his funny jokes in there too! 😉
It was your video on family dinner that got me interested in the show. Now I can’t stop watching it!
Welcome to Stars Hollow! 😊
This was great! Its such an interesting episode. It'll be nice to hear your thoughts on more of the relationships in the show because that is what Gilmore Girls is all about.
My favorite is Luke taking in his nephew Jess- being supportive even when its hard.
Another is Rory and Paris's friendship in how they go from enemys to best friends .
And of course anything with Luke and Lorelais relationship. So much to delve into with this show
As a therapist, I love to watch other therapists talk about the media I consume to see if we come to the same conclusions! It feels like a budget version of supervision lol
YESSSSSSSSSS EP2! lets goo TT watchhhhh the whole showw plsssssss
More Gilmore Girls, yes please! 👏🏻
I love all your thoughts and professional musings on one of my favorite shows. Please keep these videos coming.
An a completely unrelated note. I noticed on your bookshelf...is that the American Adventure book series? I noticed them, because i have the complete series, i read them growing up. I learned so much history from them.
I LOVE IT when Lorelai just goes random like “I HATE PRESIDENT BUSH” LOL
It's SO random and hilarious.
There's another Friday night fight- just the four Gilmores. I've also enjoyed the funerals that Amy Sherman Paladino writes. Luke's uncle, Gran Lorelai Gilmore (yes, Lor was named after her grandmother. There are three Gilmore Girls named Lorelai.)
Great video as always❤ Id absolutely love for you to comment on the friends first mother-daughter second dynamic between Lorelai and Rory and its upsides and faults!
I can't believe how Strobe acted. It takes two people to conceive a child. Putting it all on Lorelai was wrong. Especially saying hateful stuff about Rory. Richard had every right to react that way. His daughter and granddaughter were being attacked. He and Lorelai may not have the best relationship, but he still loves his family. Chris could've still gone to college. No one was holding a knife to his throat. He chose not to and that wasn't Lorelai's fault. She raised Rory on her own at a young age while succeeding with a business. Now she has her own Inn. She did something with herself, Chris could have too. But, didn't.
I love that the most read books on that shelf are the Little House ones.
Thank you so much, really appreciate this deep dive and particularly the learnings in the end.
What would be interesting as well is an analysis of Rory’s different love interests/ boyfriends, why she chose them and the relationships with them. (Same goes for Lorelai).
I have come across quite a few people in life who struggle to let things go. Struggle with acceptance.
That seems like a difficult problem to deal with. To have challenges and disappointments fester inside oneself for decades without resolution or processing.
I consider myself lucky that in my difficult upbringing without much autonomy at all.... I, at least, became very familiar with the concept of acceptance. I learned how to let go of pain rather than bottling it up and carrying it around with me. I learned how to recognize when the pain someone is inflicting on me has very little to do with anything I've done and everything to do with some separate issue.
It's been much easier to learn how to stand up for myself from external harm than many seem to deal with when that harm is festering from within themselves....reliving that pain anew every day without any external conflict to confront or resolve.. only themselves to blame. And gathering more blame from everyone else when that pain seeps from the cracks in their psyche and gets inflicted upon innocent third partys.
I don't know how to help people handle stuff like that except through some sort of cathartic release. Like breaking stuff and screaming into the void. Anything to vent the pressure without hurting anyone. My only possible helpful contribution is suggesting therapy so they can figure out and confront the root issues in a safe environment with a professional. But finding a good fit and affording the time, energy, headspace, and money for it isn't always possible for everyone who needs it.
I can relate to Lorelei here and in other episodes bc I’ve always had a difficult relationship with my own mother, for some of the same reasons (though entirely different context). I will say, yes letting things fester and go unsaid always leads to someone exploding or resentment. If you can talk about it, do so. But also, when you’ve tried to bring it up and make the other person see your side of things over and over, understand that they hurt you, only for them to take zero accountability and be told that what you know happened didn’t happen (bc it makes them look bad) or that the person didn’t do the things they did…. You get to the point where you just can’t have the discussion again. In those situations, there really isn’t a value in bringing it back up. The only thing to decide is whether you’re going to walk away bc you can’t do it anymore (and have everyone judge you, bc who doesn’t forgive their parents???, according to others) or stay bc it’s incredibly hard to cut out family & also know that the actions will continue to happen over and over.
So yes, Lorelei can be VERY immature sometimes, but I’ve honestly always sympathized with a lot of why her relationship with Richard & Emily is the way it is.