My ex narc didn’t say he loved me until after a year of us together. But he did buy gifts, fancy dinners, he made me a love songs cd, he really took care of me. I totally fell for it, I loved it. I thought I met a real love the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. 12 years later- he walked away from me like I was nothing. He left me when I needed him most- after a concussion.
I love this, the content, your delivery - having experienced this over the last decade and having thought I had been doing the work on self reflection, ownership of my shit, healthy boundary setting … basically healing - I kept hitting the same shit - the deep hurt. Thank you for sharing your work, its transformational
"Getting swept away by your wound" is far from victim blaming IMO, it simply acknowledges that our nervous systems are susceptible to manipulation. Lots of feel-good chemicals can convince us this is actually an opportunity to heal, until we learn to recognize these signs. Its also important to understand why our wounded nervous system is finding a match here: Is this dynamic familiar (which our brains code as SAFE)? What does our body tell us as this dynamic unfolds - tension, anxiety, stuckness are all potential cues to tune in to.
I was with my husband for 8 years before I realized he is full of lies, manipulation, and gaslighting. I thought we had a fairy tale love story but I was wrong. It became apparent immediately once we bought a house together. It was like a switch was flipped in him. I’m at the point where I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m very sick of it and losing patience with him. I’ve had some bad relationships in the past but I’ve never accused a single person of being a narcissist before my husband. The gaslighting is strong with him and very triggering for me.
This was a poignant chat about love bombers. After a divorce and then a bit of a break from being in any kind of a partnership was love bombed by a man who turned on the charm and tried to dazzle me with his knowledge of spirituality, politics, subsistence lifestyle, etc. He even told me who he really was at the beginning and I should have believed him, but somehow I was hooked in by a player who said all the right things, but was lying by omission the whole 4 years I stuck around. Boy, what a major waste of my time and energy that was. When I tested him carefully to confirm what I had feared, he really showed his true colours and expected that I'd continue to chase him. It was "exit stage left" for me, as the pink panther would say......
See you knew it all along...Maybe they don't actually care wether you know it or not but for the end result alone. Do you ignore it ,dismiss it ...minimise it..then Its ok for them. I thought " I m smart" bcoz I saw the lies from the beginning. I thought ..neh...he tells self agrandising lies,he got issues.. but he surelly loves me. lt was the typical love bombing to discard .when i called him out he never talked to me again. second time I thought he lies but has a really good heart ,he ll come around And the love bombing never stopped but when lies grew and i felt being suddenly emptied of all feelings not liking what I see he picked that up immediatelly and withdrew. it seems, only as long as everything went well and he felt loved that he loved too
Thank you Mark❤ you know it. I totally had a month long love bomb fling in July, and what a fun ride it was until it wasn’t. Rich ground for learning and expanding ✨
Here s my issue with narcs.They are so easily exploitable.if you have intuition you can get the good stuff and be out of there when they show inconsistent behavior..eventhough they do dance back and forth to test your limits the more self respect you have the less of that you ll accept. My issue was I thought what many do that they are a good wounded child but even beyond that I feel some pitty to just leave when trouble starts.i feel like taking advantage of them which is trully easy to respond only to their good behavior.maybe they already know and hit that kind of personality that will stick later on too due to duty or guilt
He seriously told me i love you on the first date😂,he was too much however i already knew the code. It was a nice movie where he died in his movie. Some men are moving 👿
You have free will. If you stay you are a participant in your abuse. My daughter's never discards her they just keep going in circles. If he does discard her if like for a day. It's exhausting and it's not my relationship.
Is it possible that the person doesn’t actually realize they are doing all of these things because they are doing it out of an insecure attachment? My friends and family all said no, but like the toddler I touched it anyway. I broke it off and got sucked right back in and married her. She was able to use the fact that my family didn’t show up as proof that only she loves me and will be there for me. I have pushed away all of my family and friends that she “has at least one issue with”. I can’t believe I fell for this again. After being married to a known Narcissist for 13 years. What has gotten me is she accused me of love bombing and because I have suffered trauma and am unsure of myself, I believed that I was the problem. I am so confused now. My trauma had me so thirsty for love and acceptance and the need to be chosen. FUCK is absolutely a very important word.
Yeah my daughter's narcissist told her the first week he loved her and she was his person and they were going to get married and go on trips. They were 15 now 19. She won't leave him. He's abusive with her.
She’s so young, never could have seen this coming. My relatives have been trying to get my attention about my situation and it really does help. Don’t give up, even if you’ve also got this dynamic w/ a teen on your hands, naturally trying to individuate. Big hugs to you, mom!! It is truly exhausting for everyone.
On TF if their abusive their not your twin a twin flame relationship is a rewarding relationship after you’ve dealt with shadow aspects of ourselves now TF does exist but if their abusive their not your Twin
They could still be a twin flame... your twin flame could be the one who connects you back to your soul and your fire and your truth. A powerful relationship that reunites you with you.
Tou are si right! Im in daek whike after 2 months he told me i have someobe else. Yes he asked mevto marry him 2 weeks later and so much more. Im not sure how to get it out of it. I sid paud for alomst everything. Im an ifuot to feel this way.
You thought you had a fairy tale for 8yrs? So you thought he loves you ..was it just his behavior ? The gaslighting etc or did you feel he means it when you looked into his eyes?
This is way before dating. This is all over the dating apps. It is a turnoff for me, I have done my 35 years, I know the signs. I am constantly saying, “sorry, but you don’t know me”.
28:07” what are your values and boundaries ? What is not negotiable ? “❤
A person that’s learned to love themselves and has done the work would absolutely date themselves it doesn’t have to be a narcissist
My ex narc didn’t say he loved me until after a year of us together.
But he did buy gifts, fancy dinners, he made me a love songs cd, he really took care of me. I totally fell for it, I loved it. I thought I met a real love the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.
12 years later- he walked away from me like I was nothing. He left me when I needed him most- after a concussion.
I love this, the content, your delivery - having experienced this over the last decade and having thought I had been doing the work on self reflection, ownership of my shit, healthy boundary setting … basically healing - I kept hitting the same shit - the deep hurt. Thank you for sharing your work, its transformational
"Getting swept away by your wound" is far from victim blaming IMO, it simply acknowledges that our nervous systems are susceptible to manipulation. Lots of feel-good chemicals can convince us this is actually an opportunity to heal, until we learn to recognize these signs. Its also important to understand why our wounded nervous system is finding a match here: Is this dynamic familiar (which our brains code as SAFE)? What does our body tell us as this dynamic unfolds - tension, anxiety, stuckness are all potential cues to tune in to.
Amen. Great points!
You said it really well. Thank you for sharing this ✨
I was with my husband for 8 years before I realized he is full of lies, manipulation, and gaslighting. I thought we had a fairy tale love story but I was wrong. It became apparent immediately once we bought a house together. It was like a switch was flipped in him. I’m at the point where I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m very sick of it and losing patience with him. I’ve had some bad relationships in the past but I’ve never accused a single person of being a narcissist before my husband. The gaslighting is strong with him and very triggering for me.
This was a poignant chat about love bombers. After a divorce and then a bit of a break from being in any kind of a partnership was love bombed by a man who turned on the charm and tried to dazzle me with his knowledge of spirituality, politics, subsistence lifestyle, etc. He even told me who he really was at the beginning and I should have believed him, but somehow I was hooked in by a player who said all the right things, but was lying by omission the whole 4 years I stuck around. Boy, what a major waste of my time and energy that was. When I tested him carefully to confirm what I had feared, he really showed his true colours and expected that I'd continue to chase him. It was "exit stage left" for me, as the pink panther would say......
See you knew it all along...Maybe they don't actually care wether you know it or not but for the end result alone.
Do you ignore it ,dismiss it ...minimise it..then Its ok for them.
I thought " I m smart" bcoz I saw the lies from the beginning. I thought ..neh...he tells self agrandising lies,he got issues.. but he surelly loves me. lt was the typical love bombing to discard .when i called him out he never talked to me again.
second time I thought he lies but has a really good heart ,he ll come around And the love bombing never stopped but when lies grew and i felt being suddenly emptied of all feelings not liking what I see he picked that up immediatelly and withdrew. it seems, only as long as everything went well and he felt loved that he loved too
Thank you Mark❤ you know it. I totally had a month long love bomb fling in July, and what a fun ride it was until it wasn’t. Rich ground for learning and expanding ✨
Here s my issue with narcs.They are so easily exploitable.if you have intuition you can get the good stuff and be out of there when they show inconsistent behavior..eventhough they do dance back and forth to test your limits the more self respect you have the less of that you ll accept. My issue was I thought what many do that they are a good wounded child but even beyond that I feel some pitty to just leave when trouble starts.i feel like taking advantage of them which is trully easy to respond only to their good behavior.maybe they already know and hit that kind of personality that will stick later on too due to duty or guilt
He seriously told me i love you on the first date😂,he was too much however i already knew the code. It was a nice movie where he died in his movie.
Some men are moving 👿
You have free will. If you stay you are a participant in your abuse. My daughter's never discards her they just keep going in circles. If he does discard her if like for a day. It's exhausting and it's not my relationship.
Is it possible that the person doesn’t actually realize they are doing all of these things because they are doing it out of an insecure attachment?
My friends and family all said no, but like the toddler I touched it anyway. I broke it off and got sucked right back in and married her. She was able to use the fact that my family didn’t show up as proof that only she loves me and will be there for me.
I have pushed away all of my family and friends that she “has at least one issue with”. I can’t believe I fell for this again. After being married to a known Narcissist for 13 years.
What has gotten me is she accused me of love bombing and because I have suffered trauma and am unsure of myself, I believed that I was the problem.
I am so confused now.
My trauma had me so thirsty for love and acceptance and the need to be chosen. FUCK is absolutely a very important word.
Great info Mark! Love your humor and honesty
Thank you!
Yeah my daughter's narcissist told her the first week he loved her and she was his person and they were going to get married and go on trips. They were 15 now 19. She won't leave him. He's abusive with her.
She’s so young, never could have seen this coming. My relatives have been trying to get my attention about my situation and it really does help. Don’t give up, even if you’ve also got this dynamic w/ a teen on your hands, naturally trying to individuate. Big hugs to you, mom!! It is truly exhausting for everyone.
....but they aren't married yet ,right?
Oh my god... im the love bomber 🙊🙊🙊🙊, i had no idea, this is so eye opening ..
Total mind fk for sure! Thank you for confirming I’m not nuts😅
It's not love. It's infatuation and an addictive relationship.
I can see my daughter's narcissistic behaviors she does too. But chooses to stay. I don't know why and I'm enemy number 1.
Always love to see your video ❤❤
On TF if their abusive their not your twin a twin flame relationship is a rewarding relationship after you’ve dealt with shadow aspects of ourselves now TF does exist but if their abusive their not your Twin
They could still be a twin flame... your twin flame could be the one who connects you back to your soul and your fire and your truth. A powerful relationship that reunites you with you.
Tou are si right! Im in daek whike after 2 months he told me i have someobe else. Yes he asked mevto marry him 2 weeks later and so much more. Im not sure how to get it out of it. I sid paud for alomst everything. Im an ifuot to feel this way.
Mark, is it possible to happen with starting friendships too? Like friendship bombing?
Yes, absolutely -- rapid escalation and then distance -- is likely correlated to attachment style. And we bring that everywhere we go!
this episode with Sarah Baldwin explores it -- SO GOOD. ruclips.net/video/e6Ra3KN0JxU/видео.html
Mark might be the only person that can teach me deep things and make me crack up all at the same time ! 😂 ( also, we have to blame Disney) 😂
Haha. Thank you! I'll take that!
You thought you had a fairy tale for 8yrs? So you thought he loves you ..was it just his behavior ? The gaslighting etc or did you feel he means it when you looked into his eyes?
None of it is nurturing love.
This is way before dating. This is all over the dating apps. It is a turnoff for me, I have done my 35 years, I know the signs.
I am constantly saying, “sorry, but you don’t know me”.