My daughter is an INTP with 2 best ENFP friends, INFP roommate in school, and ISTP boyfriend. I never understood her until I discovered MBTI. We laugh a lot now and get each other, finally. I love INTP's calmness, rationality, humor, artistic nature, helpfulness, and loyalty. They are also non-judgmental therefore a breath of fresh air. From your friendly neighborhood ESFJ mom
Damn it now I'm all emotional. That's so sweet of you, your daughter is very lucky to have a mom who sees her unique qualities and appreciates her as-is. I'm glad mbti could do that for you 🥰 Edit: I've seen a few comments now from INTPs saying they felt downtrodden by an ESFJ mother, so I'm especially proud that you overcame this! Gold star ⭐ lol
ISTP here. I think INTP women are great. Very rare, teaches them to march to their own drums, a quality I think makes for my favorite people. It's wonderful you're supporting her in being herself! That, too, is rare.
"And get eachother, finally" That phrase is so beautiful, it's not very common for parents to look for ways to understand their child, let alone an INTP child (because INTPs are generally hard to understand due to how different they are, thus people don't really try). I'm so happy for you and your daughter. My only advice is to keep understanding eachother with an open mind and encourage her to share her opinions about certain topics with you, and to ask her thought provoking questions :DD goodluck and wish you both a very pleasant life!
Well i think all types can be compatible as long as both people are healthy in the relationship. Your theories make a lot of sense, I think the same way. Good video! ~an infj
Another INFJ here and I totally agree. I think people can be compatible with any type but their values and whatnot have to be the same. For instance, people say ENTPs and INFJs would make a great couple. And honestly, they probably would. Unless one was a Democrat and the other a Republican. Or one was an atheist and the other a Christian.
@@Lea-ov8vq Probably mistyped. OR they're highly developed. And keeping all other factors the same. The ISFJ would have a much more satisfying relationship with an ESFP. And the ENTP with an INTJ.
I think INTP and INTJ can be a good combination, perhaps not so much in a romantic relationship, but in a work collaboration. They definitely bring different things to the table. INTJ: Uses Ni to set an overall goal INTP: Uses Ne to come up with the best approach to achieve the goal INTP: Uses Ti to check that the goal and approach are sound and workable INTJ: Uses Te to ensure that the goal actually gets accomplished You need all four of these things for something to get implemented and work as intended.
You really nailed it! My mom's an INTP and my dad's an INTJ. They have been arguing with each other for 30 years every day. (literally) But when there's a real problem in life, they suddenly stopped arguing and solved it together with amazing efficiency!
This is a GREAT working rel'ship! I'm an INTJ and my sister is an INTP, we've always thought we could take over the world if we put our heads together!
I (ENTP) was in a band with an INTP and an INTJ. Both are my best friends, but man do they not like each other. But at least they tried when I was around :D
I’m an INFP but I’m very close with the INFJs in my life. I think having completely different functions can sometimes be complementary instead of clashing.
INFP twins with an INFJ....before I saw the congnitive functions explained, I was trying to figure out why we were soooo different despite only being "one letter different.". We are pretty much the mirror image of eachother
One of the best friendships of my life was ENTP-INTJ. Very rewarding and never a dull moment. Had our issues like everyone else of course, that's inevitable, but overall it was amazing.
@@Trasea Yes, I wonder if one part could be added to Kristen's theory -- not an absolute, but if you go back to the Keirsey sorter, I wonder if NFs, NTs, SPs, and SJs generally find a level of compatibility wiith each other, at least in friendship, or perhaps as coworkers.
Theory 3 is a bit odd, just because of all the stuff I've seen online. INFJs and ENFPs are typically seen as a very compatible match, same with INFPs and ENFJs, so to see a theory that posits them as incompatible is odd. Three videos in the same week is such a blessing. You've inspired me to make content and skits about MBTI, and I would probably do it if I thought I had anything worthwhile to add xD -INFP
I agree with you, I think the 2nd and 3rd letters are the most important for compatibility between intuitive types because common values and level of intensity matter more than common communication styles.
@@Lani I think my ENFJ friend is also married to an ISTP. Personal preference is still a huge factor, and some people like to have more polarity while others like more similarity
There is the common theory of the "golden pair" where you have the opposite, flip-side functions, but in fact, this can be quite a difficult relationship to foster. Both people can talk from different sides and miss each other; it can cause confusion because you seem like you're compatible but still come from totally different sides. I've had this happen. It can work, but it's not all it is cracked up to be.
"You're being an obstacle in your own ability to love the person properly." Super wise advice. I like the first third of this video for its nuggets of wisdom, particularly the Fi speech on compatibility. Authenticity and understanding are key components of any relationship.
@@nabsnabster3488 As an INFP, I’m actually really close to an INTJ, and can connect well with an ISTP, so I’d say this is accurate. ENTJs and INFJs do scare me a bit, though, but that may just be my own experience haha
ENTP here. I’m most attracted to INFJs and INFPs. INFJs hook me more romantically, while INFPs hook me more in a “fun” type of way. INFJs have a deep inner world that just makes me have to hold myself back so I don’t fall for her too quickly. It’s the only type that makes me do that. It’s very intense, almost too intense at times. INFPs are much “safer” for me, but also just as attractive. They’re fun, cute, shy, and I feel like I can say anything without offending them because they’re very open minded, and as long as you can make them laugh and keep them smiling, you can get away with murder. I can kill someone in front of an INFP girl and as long as I cracked a joke right before she’ll be too busy laughing and smiling to even care. I love it. They’re the easiest to get along with out of all the types I think. Types that I get along with (but aren’t necessarily attracted to) are INTPs, INTJs, ENFPs, ENFJs, and other ENTPs. I supposed INTJs and ENFJs can be attractive, but I’m really the most drawn to INFJs and INFPs. My sister is an ISFJ and we’ve always had a close relationship. I’ve been told that I would be happy with an ISFJ if I were to date one, but I don’t know if I’ve ever met another one. ESTPs are a tricky one. I click with them very well, it’s actually scary how much alike we are. In some ways. We have a lot of similar inflections in our voice when we speak or when we’re asserting ourselves, and the way we react emotionally to things is pretty similar. I find myself clicking more with an ESTP than other ENTPs lol. But ESTPs seem to be bi-polar or something, I don’t know, they can change on a dime and act completely different depending on who is in the room. And they can easily rile me up. Like they’ll just become a bully out of nowhere and start putting other people down. They’ll say they’re “just teasing” but it’s too far sometimes. Listen, I tease people a lot, but there’s some shit I just wouldn’t say. I get into conflicts with ESTPs more than any other type. But what I respect about them is that when we hash it out, it’s all good in the hood. ISTPs are cool as hell too, almost forgot about them. They’re so laid back and chill. My best friend of 20 years is an ISTP. We never “click” on anything more than a surface level, but it’s honestly awesome because of that. Just mad chill all around. No offense to every other type but...I don’t have enough of an opinion on them. I don’t work well with ESTJs or ISTJs, ENTJs annoy the hell out of me, ESFPs I have nothing in common with, same with ISFPs. I suppose ESFJs can be fun in a group, they have great energy, but I can’t really click with them.
I really want to argue with you, bi-polar?, all of us?, lol! But let's not. It could be true that ENTP's have more things they wouldn't say (unless provoked) and ESTP's have more things they won't say again. Cheers! - estp
@@manda_d LOL “let’s not”, come on that’s the best part! Well from what I understand ESTPs don’t see it as fun mental sparring like ENTPs do. I could be wrong though. With the bi-polar thing I just mean that from my experience, ESTPs tend to flip flop on how they behave depending on who is around, and their opinions on things aren’t consistent. I really do think they just go off how they feel/think in the moment, that’s where the inconsistency comes in. You guys live in the moment. I like that analogy you made, I never thought of it that way. I’d have to (unfortunately) agree haha.
@@nickp3949 Yeah...it really is the best part and the worst part. I like to argue but only really with people I like/respect and not about everything/anything for no reason. Foot-in-mouth syndrome is a serious concern but not a mental illness. Also, it's possible you are occationally getting sensitive out of seemingly nowhere on your estp or yeah they just start rolling and then...whoops! Estps and entps both seem a little happier when they're dishing it out than when they're getting served. Lol! *secretly care what you think 😢*
@@manda_d It’s funny because it goes both ways. ESTPs get offended out of nowhere by us as well. It’s a two way street lol. Especially when you tell them they can’t do something. It takes a lot to really get to me, but what bothers me is when ESTPs don’t respect boundaries and think they can say whatever they want to whoever they want. That I have a problem with. Like i said, I tease people too, but my Fe knows when I’m about to hit a nerve. I bend boundaries but I don’t break them. That last part is funny. We both act Ike we don’t give a fuck, but for the times we do, we really let the person have it. Once you strike a nerve with an ESTP or an ENTP it’s on. Like I said, every ESTP I’ve known I end up having a great relationship with, but it always starts out with conflict because we’re so similar but so different in how we express things. I’ve never dated one though, I’m not really into extroverts to be honest.
INTP married to an INTJ since 2006. There's plenty of stuff about each other's communication and way of going about things that we don't get (my being an autistic INTP exacerbates that), but that NT core does a lot of great work: First, it's a shared set of broad priorities. We want to navigate with N and T, and that at least means that our goals for managing our shared living space will be generally compatible (namely, minimal interaction with the physical world so we can go back to NT-ing). It would be difficult for either of us to live with someone who needed a lot of sensory stimulation, because that changes so much of what the apartment has in it and what it's centered around. Second, it means that we actually do pretty similar things for our respective areas of interest. This didn't come out until I was ensconced in my job (I'm in charge of the Seattle Municipal Code and I edit legislation drafts to help manage it) and she started pursuing a screenwriting career. But for each of our endeavors, we're in our element refining other people's work, helping them understand what they are trying to say and helping get to a superior version of what's been written. But mine's in the Ti realm - thinking through why this law isn't going to work as it's written - and hers is in the Ni realm - thinking through why this movie character wouldn't talk or act like that based on what was written before. Our being INTP and INTJ mean we gravitate toward different things - overall I hate movies, while my job bores almost everybody on the planet - but our roles in those things are startlingly similar, and we value that in each other.
I remember a theory that if you flip the E/I and the J/P, the types would be compatible. For example: - INFJ with ENFP - INFP with ENFJ - INTJ with ENTP - INTP with ENTJ - ISFP with ESFJ - ISFJ with ESFP - ISTP with ESTJ - ISTJ with ESTP That might not be true though cause I'm an ISFP and sometimes I could get drained by Fe doms. But I agree with you that if you're a healthy type you could get along with anyone! Edit: I forgot to mention, in that theory the compatible types also mirror each other's cognitive functions.
I know this is definitely true with intuitive dominant types (Ne-doms ENFP and ENTP are most compatible with Ni-doms INFJ and INTJ), it makes sense here since all intuitives are insatiably curious and ultimately want to consider the deeper meanings behind things, so they are easily compatible as a result. I’m not sure about sensory dominants and feeling/thinking dominants though.
@Milkyway AllDay Interesting! I kinda agree with you cause my friend is an ISFJ and we get along really well! Oh and INTPs too :) And for some reason most of my friends are introverted cause the extroverts are more likely to talk to other extroverts soo yeah-
Definitely true, as far as friends go. As an INTP, my best friend is an ENTJ. I don't really click with INTJs. ENTPs are ok, but I connect with ENTJs more. As far as romance goes, I prefer IxFJs.
ENTP here with an inexplicable attraction to INFPs. I think in my case my Ne+Ti combo has decided I need the one thing in my life that I don't use or understand. Ne generally wants to have everything it doesn't, especially when it comes to concepts. My boyfriend appreciates how free my Ne is, as for him it's auxiliary, and he'd sometimes like to not be bound and biased by his values. Not sure if there's other pairs that defy the Trickster incompatibility as much as ENTP/INFP, purely due to the nature of their functions.
As a S type, I really like your vids both skits and theories. Because sometimes I feel like MBTI RUclipsrs are so deep it kinda bores me, also its nice to see a S type share ideas about MBTI! it really inspires me! - an ESFJ.
I absolutely appreciate how Kristin clarified that any type can be compatible with any type as long as they allow space for each other to be their true selves. I am an INFJ / INFP (high Fi, Fe, Ni , AND Ne), and have been making good friends with INFP, ENFP, ISTP, ISTJ, INTP, and ENFJ. We never push each other to change, and created amazing bonds growing together. Limiting oneself only to certain types that are supposedly compatible only makes them miss out on so many great friendships / relationships imo
I 100% agree, I'm an ENFJ and value that exact thing in a friendship. I don't think people need to change to grow and thrive so it's great when friendships foster that! I can also understand why you might not be sure where you stand between INFJ/P so let me give you some good ol' unwarranted ENFJ advice. Idk if you relate, but I find that the test grades questions designed to differentiate between J and P quite badly since I answer in favor of both strongly. I like to plan and I tend to live in the future but I also put special effort into really enjoying the moment and sometimes foregoing a plan just to let the experience be unique, so the test was like ah yes, here we have a classic ENFP. But when I read into the cognitive functions of each type I knew which I was immediately. Turns out, my strong Se was being graded as P. I definitely encourage you to read about it, the descriptions on typeinmind.com were super helpful for me! Hopefully you can figure it out :)
@@whitneyd6827 Ah yes I have learned to not rely on online tests lol. Like one test would say I’m ENFP (Ne dom), the other one would say I’m Fe dom, then the last one says I’m INFP... Ty for the good Ol’ ENFJ advice tho! I’ll look into it
You hit the nail right on the head with your last theory, I get on with ESTPs really well because they tend to ground me while still encouraging me to explore things and I can get them to get their ideas flowing. It also helps that ESTPs will challenge me with witty banter out of nowhere which I absolutely love, usually I start laughing because it's something I've found hilarious. Their mostly no bs approach to life is something I love too.
Here are my two cents: compatibility and friendship are two very different things, you might enjoy hanging out with people that are similar types to you, because it’s Easy, but to actually complement each other it’s Best to share no cognitive functions, which rounds out The pairing because every function is utilized and contrasted with something different. Fx. I love hanging out with similar types to me, but they don’t offer as Much growth and Challenge that other more different types do.
I am an infp and i have had bad experiences with estjs no thanks I don't want them in my life. They don't seem to care about emotions. I think so people should have few core values in common in order to make a friendship or relationship last
@@akshara487 yeah because Yall are not compatible since you share all cognitive functions, most rewarding relationships for u are gonna be with NFJ’s and STP’s
You made a good point about types that share no cognitive functions tend to be less compatible (as expected). But I think I can shed a little light here because I am the most stereotypical INFP and my partner is an ISTP. These two types share none of the same functions, as shown in the video, but I and my partner get along pretty easily. I do think it has a lot to do with what Kristin said about adapting to people and learning what they might want/need. I am one of the more stoic INFPs but ISTPs can listen to your emotional rants! They're famous for being good listeners and my partner is no different. The only thing is, ISTPs are obviously inclined to give you solutions to your problems after you've told them all of your shenanigans; which I don't think is bad. It's actually helped me a lot as an INFP, but my partner would definitely not be happy if I ranted to him just for the sake of it. Any two types can get along well as long as you are open-minded to new ways of life and are looking to improve yourself in any way possible!
8:50 Totally right. I'm an INFP married with an ESTP, we have been married for 11 years and I can confirm that communication has been our main struggle over all. Like, seriously, our biggest arguments have started for really dumb matters, those matters aren't really that important, but the reason why our arguments get that big it's because of our different communication styles. He can be very harsh saying things and my emotionality very intense to put up for him. We usually end up arguing more about how we said something or trying to clarify the misunderstanding itself, than about the problem itself. Sometimes I feel like we speak totally different languages. But hey, I don't know, somehow we have resisted all this time together and I think there has definitely been some improvement in communication and our way of treating each other until today ... I also think that it has helped us develop aspects of our personality that perhaps of otherwise we would not have developed, so somehow we have matured. But I think it is a struggle that we will have to continue to endure if we want to stay together.
My theory is that types with functions in the same order but opposite in the introvert/extrovert part work really well together. For example, many people say ENFJ and INFP work well together. INFP: Fi, Ne, Si, Te ENFJ: Fe, Ni, Se, Ti And that is probably because of the fact that they can bring out the best out of each other while still having the same letters.
@@heikelouiseoberholzer I dont understand Helen. What I mean is that the people whom we end up in friendships with we view compassion the same, like people who think white lies are normal dont see lying as unforgivable. To them white lies are compassionate to each other vs. People who view honesty at all costs as compassionate and dont see honesty as hurting peoples feelings but truth that need to be told. I'm not really talking about bleeding hearts caring about animals or the environment but how we are compassionate to eachother on a day to day basis.
I know a married couple in a fantastic relationship who took the MBTI test for the first time many years into their marriage and discovered that they're both exactly the same type: INFJ. I guess it's because I've been influenced by the "opposites attract" thing, but I would not have expected that.
I think opposites attract can be stupid. Like if you and your partner are completely opposite you have nothing in common and have nothing to do together. Like someone who loves books with someone who hates them. As opposed to two people who love books. Maybe it's a shitty example but it's what came to mind
@@furumetaru0232 That's not personality. You described interests and activities. The example is: Two introverts will never talk to each other. Two Fi doms will never agree. Two Ne doms will never focus. Two Te doms will never think for themselves. Two Si doms will never leave the house. Etc.
The opposites attract thing is based on the idea that every couple needs to be able to operate in all modes. I don't find that to be true. It's much more important that people understand each other, because you're building a loving relationship, not a team to do a job.
@@basic-decaf okay I understand what your saying. Thats why for instance two istj types are not great for each other. I'm istj and I know that someone else like me would be a pain lol.
This is so accurate that it's scary! xD my three best friends are INFJ, ISTP and ESTP (I myself am an ENFJ). We think so often in same ways and have the same kind of humour :)
INFJ here. The best conversations I've had like this. MY EXPERIENCE!!! 1) INTJ/INFJ (Deep understanding of each others) 2) ENFP (need that positive carefree energy) 3) ESFJ/ENFJ (my life coaches) 4) INFP (we are kind of similar but just too much of an overwhelming emotions) 5) ENTP/INTP (love discussions with them, but they overwhelm me with their energy and too much going into unimportant details) 6) ISFJ (they really care but they don't get me) 7) ENTJ (they motivate me to work and study only) 8) ESTP (good for outdoor activities when i have some energy, but their energy and "constantly ACTION" is overwhelming) 9) ISFP/ESFP i don't know any friends who are these types but I guess I would kind of get along with isfp Struggling with ISTPs and ESTJ the most. ISTPs too grumpy, ESTJs too bossy and control freaks.
I like how you emphasise the fact that we can all be compatible with hard and constant work. About your theories: I’ll happily say that I agree with every single one of them! The first one I have two examples in which I have a very close look at - Me and my boyfriend (ENTJ-INTJ respectively) and my parents (ENFJ-INFJ). The one about the trickster function… I had never thought about that before! It’s completely accurate. I believe it goes for the 8th function as well, since I don’t get along with Fe doms or aux most of the time 🤔. What do you think?
Thanks for your input! Interestingly, I'm not sure about the 8th function because that would contradict my 5th theory of Se/Ne doms getting along so well. But I'm realising we just can't make blanket statements such as this, cause the function compatibility also depends heavily on whether the function is a juding or perceiving function. Maybe 1st & 8th judging functions would struggle more than 1st & 8th perceiving functions, and maybe even more specifically, extroverted judging functions rather than introverted (I know an ISTJ/INTJ couple who work really well together and this might be because their 1st and 8th judging functions are interior rather than exterior).
@@dearkristin I forgot to add that. I believe the 5th theory is on point. Must be because of what you said, extroverted functions end up being really “on your face” so I personally feel out of place when I have to adapt in order to make the conversation fluid and make sure I’m not screwing up. I personally make a lot of effort to talk to xxFJs, since I have no choice (both parents FJs and a lot of mates as well) but to “give in” and let the majority win. I don’t believe Fe and Te doms get along naturally. At least I never did. Looking forward to read some Fe doms perspectives. I would like to see if I’m really biased on this one. Thanks for replying, I could never think about the extroverted judging part myself. Your channel is beyond amazing, I laugh a lot with your videos, I hope we get to see more of your mind!
I (NTJ) find that INTJs and INTPs tend to get along fairly well, at least as friends. As for the extroverted version of my type, I can't help but feel a mix of admiration and caution toward ENTJs. I mean, I absolutely admire their effectiveness and drive in seizing what they want, but I can't help but find them a bit haphazard in their pursuits and their behavior often makes me wonder things like: "Is that really what you want? (what you really, really want?)" Or, similarly, "Will that really be enough? Then what?" Or, "Have you really thought this through, Old Sport? Blind ambition may well be the end of you." Or, "Are the ends really worth the costs?" Or, "Something's off; you sure it's not a trap?" Or, "Congratulations! Now when exactly can I expect your sudden but inevitable betrayal?" Or even, "Will your ambitions be a threat to mine? Will are ambitions always be so compatible?"
I agree with the one you said "people who share the same cognitive functions but in a different order can understand each other better". For example as an ENFP I am with an ESTJ. I think we can understand each other well and can learn from each other. Since what I do worse is what he does best, in terms of cognitive functions. I also find your theory about an ENFP understanding an INFP since my best friend is an INFP. We seem to value similar things and understand each other well. I will look out for other theories to see if they hold true, great video!
The second theory really caught my attention! I'm an ENFJ and my mother is an INFJ - usually we don't really get along. However, I know quite a few other INFJs that are some of my closest friends 🤔 I can kind of agree on theory three, but what leaves me a bit confused is that I can see myself getting along with an ENFP quite well actually! Love the video, thx! 💙
*All I know is an ENFP man has my heart and his cognitive functions mirror mine* , but are opposite in the introvert and extrovert parts. I’m an INFJ, we are: INFJ = Ni, Fe, Ti, Se ENFP = Ne, Fi, Te, Si I swear he’s perfect for me. I absolutely adore his personality and he somehow finds mine appealing 😅 I think sharing NF as our top functions is really important too. We have our differences of course, but I think our relationship is a great match :)
Also I should add that I’m pretty confident I’m an INFJ, but years ago I used to always get INTJ as a result. I honestly feel like I’m right in the middle when it comes to thinking v. feeling, but I think that’s definitely more of an INFJ thing to think than an INTJ thing 😂 I’m definitely IN_J for sure though
As an ENTP, One of my greatest friendships is with an ENTJ; we get along famously. They indulge my ideas and topics, and I satisfy their propensity for dealing with chaos(me). The trust in the relationship was also naturally occurring I think-no effort. As far as other types go, I am constantly drawn to persons that are very driven. The idea of someone (as long as they are interesting of course) also having their own things going on, just makes me want to see how much I can interject without throwing them off course. Even better if I can find that balance by a guess or with experimentation. After that, one of three things happen (the negative side of being an ENTP)-they can't handle the interactions between us, I find them terribly boring, or we fit together like strange puzzle pieces and the world still goes round the sun nicely. As far as romance goes, I have gone a bit against the grain thus far. I can't help but be inexplicably enchanted by sensitive feeler types. What's going on in that strange emotional brain of yours? An unfortunate side effect of this interaction (musings of an ENTP) seems to be emotional bursts. I see the emotions, I understand what they mean (maybe not why they are present), but I just can't relate. A simple interaction on my side quickly turns into me saying "Oh...you're crying...hmm...it''ll be okay(?)...there there...(send help)..."
Your last paragraph made me laugh haha. I'm an INFJ in a relationship with an ENTP. On the last day of our holiday I was sobbing in our parked car and explained how sad I was to be returning from a lovely holiday and how this marked an epoch in our lives as we enter the adult world (we just graduated) and the next 'chapter' of our relationship. My boyfriend sat there listening then said ".... so many emotions...." then "You make me wonder if I'm a robot" I totally get what you mean about being intrigued by the mysterious workings of each other's brain!! But that's what makes it so interesting and never boring.
I've always liked ESFPs as an ENFP because we share the same guide function and to be honest I'm a little Fi biased. I always get along with xxFP types and ESFPs being extraverted perceivers make them even more attractive. I'm happy that I've heard the same theory.❤❤
I am an ENFP and do date a lot of ISTJs, some ESTJs. I would say we do have very blunt conversations... Eventually. They seem to be some of the most intimidating people for me. Meaning I can't even open my mouth around them and rarely speak until I make it further into a relationship. Then yes I do find I can speak to them easily without worrying about offending or being misunderstood. On the other hand those relationships never seem to end well for me. The type I have been most compatible with is INFJ, he has been my best friend and fiance and now unfortunately back to just best friend. We joke about soulmates but seriously he's like the other half of me. We do miscommunicate quite a bit and definitely have taken awhile to learn all of each others quirks but there has been a instant, constant connection since day 1. I've been able to be 100% myself from day one and always felt accept and actually liked instead of disdained for being an airhead or immature (I'm neither).
As an ISTJ I personally find it hard interacting extensively with Fe dom/aux people who expect everyone to use Fe. Funny enough, they act as if I don't have any morals but then they flock together to shame someone for being, as they call it, "selfish".
INTJ here, have definitely most struggled with Fe doms especially with their attempts to emotionally manipulate and shame me or others for not acting in the way they want. Though I realise it was mostly just due to back luck with encountering underdeveloped Fe types. I've come to really like mature Fe doms (especially ENFJs) the more I have developed my own Fi over the years
I'm ENFP and my sister is ISTP and we're best friends. But I really agree with your theory 3. We don't really understand each other so instead of trying we just accepted we're really different from each other.
I love my istp hubby of 24 years, I’m infp. It’s been very interesting. I give him lotsss of space and I get time to think deep deep thoughts. We have honest communication and laugh a lot about each other’s approach to life. 😂❤️
Loved this! It's very helpful and I need to look more into the order of the functions. As an ISFP, I've always been told people feel more comfortable to be themselves around me. Your explanation about F vs T also helped me realize what I've been missing when looking for potential partners! I'm tolerant of a lot of personalities and habits, but being considerate and compassionate of others is a must
Really nice comprehensive video. What I’ve noticed based on empirical evidence is that people sharing their judging functions more connected at a deeper level although sometimes there are communication problems whilst people that share the perceiving functions are like surface-level friends like classmates or community type social circle. Also in regards with accepting people that have different functions from yours i ve noticed you can sort of use two of your neighboring functions to sort of simulate and understand one you don’t have, for instance after developing little more my Fi (as an INTJ) my Te+Fi kinds started to behave like Fe if necessary.
I think theory #2 is spot on. I'm an INTJ and my best friend is an ESFP. We are very different, but we both completely understand and appreciate each other's behavior and language and unlike every other type I interact with I don't become socially exhausted interacting with him at all, which is unique since social interactions generally become very tiering for me, even with people who I am extremely close to. Also perhaps explains why I find your MBTI content the most enjoyable and interesting out of all the other MBTI youtubers.
As an INTJ married to an ISFJ for 26 years, you are completely right, allowing your mate to be themselves, is the key. Even if I have no idea why or how to hone Fe, I know it’s important to my wife. And my wife gets my weird Ni tangents, Te interrogations (as my INFJ daughter calls it), and my Fi…. “Cuz I just like it” things. Well done, Kristen! Thanks for not saying what I always hear- INTJ’s and ISFJ just can’t work.
I’m an entp and my husband is infj I feel we are very compatible and have great communication most of this time. I do always have to be aware of stepping over the line and hurting his feelings easily when we “debate” which is really just me talking 😂. I think he also enjoys me pushing him to try new things.
oh my god the 2nd theory is so interesting. my bestfriend is an istj and as an infp who lives her head in the clouds she helps me so much in terms of keeping myself grounded and we complete each other well. i admit that sometimes its hard to communicate since talking abt abstract concepts is not really her thing and i get bored and frustrated sometimes but i believe we do help each other grow (unlike what most of the websites say on the internet) also i agree with the 3rd theory, for example... my other friend is an infj and even though i love her she sometimes makes me question my own sanity. so scared of conflict yet always so judgy. she gets easily offended and im always left there, wondering what did i say or do wrong and she comes back after a while with a smile on her face like NOTHING happened at all and it scares me. i think it might be bcz of her Fe instincts and i find it quite hard to connect w people who dont speak their minds and shuts down for days instead of solving the problems. dont get me wrong it could be just an experience and i dont want to generalize anything but the lack of clarity is not for me. btw great video!!!!
For authenticity, as an INTP, I get tired of people who express themselves in a seemingly exaggerated way. I'm not going to claim to have the Fe to know if it's inauthentic or not, but people making a big deal out of shallow traits, or just being loud, including "visually loud"... Aren't exactly my favourite types of people. (INTP secret (or at least for me): As for comparability, I think a big part of it is, are you more compatible with someone who views the world the way you do, or someone who compliments your way of viewing things? A rough explanation, so the terms I use may not fit perfectly, but "generally," an extroverted function will want to engage in a more "shallow" way, moving quickly between things, whilst an introverted function will "generally" want to explore things in more depth. As an example, if we take the T's, Te's will try to rapidly move through what works, but won't understand it fully, where as Ti will want to understand things fully, but won't explore as much. So, Te+Te compatibility will be about sharing exploration into quickly finding what works. Ti+Ti compatibility will be about sharing exploration into how things work. Te+Ti compatibility will be about Te finding things that work, that the Ti can spend time into understanding. Obviously, it doesn't have to be limited to E/I pair functions, but that's the general gist of how I understand it.
Appreciate your thoughts on authenticity coming from you as an, INTP. Are you determining that the traits are shallow based on your Ti ? And what do you mean by visually loud? Do you mean emotional incontinence? What is your thought process behind this? I was wondering why Fi was associated with authenticity when I thought paying attention to authenticity was a universal thing. Although, everyone has every function. But, I was wondering why ISTP's were associated with authenticity, and your explanation, as an INTP, might give insight into that. Although, with this typing stuff almost every type is associated with something, and then someone else will say it's another type that's associated with thing, and then another person will say it's another type that's associated with that thing. I was thinking that ISTPs might be associated with authenticity because they were so focused on Fe being their inferior function so they might be flexing their Fe hard, while not necessarily being good with it. It's just they're very vocal about it. And since I think the introverted and extroverted functions work together to inform each other, I figured that ISTPs would focus on developing their Fi authenticity, if authenticity was an Fi thing, to improve on their Fe to harmonize with others or because they were so focused on their Fe to harmonize with others, they get to developing their Fi, so they become so about authenticity. Since you're a Ti- Dom and Fe inferior, what do you think? If not that, then I was thinking the authenticity could come from past sensory experience in Si, so since Se is what draws ISTPs out of their introversion, and being that I think the introverted and extroverted functions work together, they're Si would come out in full force with their Se perceiving, and that's why they'd be associated with being big on authenticity. And maybe ESTPs wouldn't get the authenticity meme like an ISTP since they live in the Se world, so they're more comfortable with the sensory whereas ISTPs are like "Look, if I got get out out of my comfortable introversion, I'm getting out hard!" That's also combined with the knowledge that ESTPs have a higher preference for Fe, so they're more comfortable with Fe compared to ISTPs, so ISTPs are going hard with both their Se and Fe, which is informed by their Si and Fi. Now, this could be a myopic focus of mine just going off of an ISTP meme, when, again, there's always someone associating a type with something, and someone could say nah, ENTJs are the real kings of authenticity. And I appreciate your explanation for Ti and Te since I don't know my type, and I didn't know which thinking I had a preference for. After reading your post, I think I prefer Ti. Thanks for your time. Hope you have a great day!
@@JohnHenrysaysHi *Obviously all of this is just my vague understanding* The deciding on what makes something "shallow" is a good question. It's hard to say which functions are behind it, but generally if there doesn't seem to be some greater intention beyond getting attention. Which is probably parent Ne, trying to figure out what's being achieved through what a person is doing, and what the result would be. I expect Ti must play a role in it sometimes, but whether Ne could at times determine it by itself, is hard to say. For "visually loud" I was thinking more along the lines of peacocking. Being aggressively eye-catching, generally through bright colours, or weird fashion. Not sure if it's generally being an introvert, or child Si/trickster Se, but any form of "obnoxious" sensory can make it hard for me to be able to focus on anything else. I think "authenticity" is highly confused in MBTI. I'm very comfortable being "authentic" in my (Ti) thoughts, and what I can (Ne) conceptualize. My (Si) experience is generally going to be in situations I'd need to be more comfortable in, or if I can back it with my Ti and/or Ne. I have also just walked away from things many times based off of a bad Si experience. When it comes to my (Fe) values, it's largely just letting people be, unless they're (Ne) going to cause serious problems. It's hard to really know exactly what authenticity you're trying to figure out, so I'll just say what I've found. For me, a significant part of how I've been developing Fe/Fi is trying to (Ne) conceptualize what should be valued. It might be that ISTP's would gather (Se) real experiences to find what they believe they should take for their Fe/Fi values.
@@ReinhardMcKinky Thank you. Can you give specific examples to illustrated how you use your Ne to figure out what's being achieved? I don't understand Ne so I would appreciate any of your thoughts on how Ne is used. Thank you for your explanation on visually loud. I can understand anyone not liking anything obnoxious, but I appreciate your suggestions of how it could tie in with functions. don't know if it's a taste issue, which isn't function related, but I appreciate visually loud colors. I also like high energy music pop music and nu-metal music, as long as the lyrics aren't blasphemous, profane, or vulgar, but I could understand if you didn't like the shallow nature of them. Can you explain your interest in music? I'm sure it's different then mine. Do you look for something more, for lack of a better word, intellectually stimulating? And do you pay attention to the music for what it is or are you thinking of how the music relates to something else? One of my favorite songs to listen to recently is the Devil May Cry 3 song "Taste the Blood" where the lyrics are pretty much the same thing repeated over and over, but I like the simplicity of the takeaway message of the spiritual warfare in the song of getting over one's pride and wrath on a path to humility. But, I got through the song through listening to animated music video with a lot of flashy visuals and I think of them when listening to the song. The animated music video is called "This Party's Getting Started" if you're interested. I also listen really liked Disturbed songs for similar reasons for the spiritual warfare takeaways but also having the visuals from the Dragon Ball and Wolverine music videos that I watched so I associate the lyrics with the characters and the narrative of those videos so I don't listen to something that will put my mind in a darker direction. One of my favorite Disturbed songs currently is the song "Haunted" where one of the lyrics, and while listening to the song I'm thinking about how it ties into how people are struggling with thoughts of hatred while struggling with the darkness of the world. But, I only listen to music to help me when I'm jogging for the energy. Or if it's something like an animated music video where I can focus on the characters such as with Dante from Devil May Cry 3, Wolverine from X-Men the Animated Series, and Goku from Dragon Ball. And then when I listen to the music from those animated music videos, those songs will fire up a power fantasy of those characters in my head while jogging. Is this kind of stuff completely foreign to you? At the very least, I can understand it being way to geeky. Based on your posting style, you come across as a pretty cool guy so...I'm sorry. lol Thank you so much for your post.
@@JohnHenrysaysHi That's kind of difficult to do, because Ne is intuition, and it tends to be sort of vague. I'll give an example in a second, but I think what high Ne users tend to do, is try to create sort of a simulation, which sometimes they use consciously, but also is used subconsciously. We compare how things are, could be, or should be, in relation to what we're experiencing, and get a rough sense of how we expect things might be, or might turn out. Example: Let's say there's the standard scammer, who promises that they've made absurd money, and that you'll be able to become rich, but first you have to pay them to gain the knowledge to do so. Now either Se or Ne users should be able to figure out that if money isn't an issue for the scammer, then why ask for money? A high Se user would probably rely more on the direct contradictions in reality, where as a high Ne user would probably first notice that it doesn't make sense in comparison to their abstract understanding of things. Hopefully that's close enough to understand. I'm not against things being "shallow," just when it seems like someone is trying to "steal people's attention." Either they're generally trying to take attention from as many people around them as possible, or if they're doing it for a smaller amount of people, then everyone else just has to deal with it. I'm not trying to make it out to be egregious, just that with my cognitive stack, it's particularly annoying. Actually, given I tend to want to be able to focus on the things I'm thinking of, I normally just listen to music I find to be enjoyable in a sensory way. And like I've been trying to convey, child Si/trickster Se can get a bit overwhelmed. A lot of the time it's game music. That's definitely not foreign to me. I haven't personally played DMC, but I have listened to some DMC music, and did watch someone play through the first reboot game. Definitely listened to a fair bit of Disturbed. I've looked up "Wolverine tributes" for music that's fitting for him. And currently I'm listening to Friedrich Habetler's "Dragon Ball Super - Frieza's Theme / A Tyrant Revived! | Epic Rock Cover." I recently got interested in DB due to the music and memes. Mostly I've just seen the DBZ abridged series, and DBS. I probably don't visualize things as much as you do. Not sure how much can be interpreted from some posts, but thanks.
@@ReinhardMcKinky Thank you for the high Se and Ne user example. I don't understand what you mean by abstract understanding of things. Could you please elaborate further or give another example? Thanks on the shallow clarification. Not the shallow clarification. The clarification on being shallow. lol Just pulled up the Friedrich Habetler's "Dragon Ball Super- Frieza's Theme". Neat. I hope you like Dragon Ball! If you ever want to talk Dragon Ball, tag me! Or heck, if you just want to talk Dragon Ball now, I'm game. Goku was my favorite fictional character. I didn't care for the direction after the Freeza arc, but I like being able to keep up with a franchise so I'll stick with it unless something gets nasty. I took awhile to stop with the Simpsons. I saw an episode somewhere in the early 20 season where it said Homer cheated on Marge, and I then joined the elites in saying Simpsons Season 8 is it for the Simpsons. Although, there's still some good scenes to watch on RUclips. If you're interested, some of my favorite AMVs are the Devil May Cry 3- This Party's Getting Started! [Spider-man AMV]- It Has Begun [Batman TAS AMV] Survivor Wolverine Decadence by Direktor MK (and by "by" I mean channel name) Metal Gear Solid- Holding Out for a Hero (HD Collection Edition) [Wolverine AMV]- Cage the Beast Maximum the Hormone "F" by Vegeta Super Saiyan Elite Son Goku, The Super Saiyan [Dragon Ball Z WORKOUT MOTIVATION] Dragon Ball Z adema- immortal by Lautaro Carimatti Path to Redemption by JV Reborn DBZ: System of a Down System of a Down- Chic 'n' Stu Goku & Vegeta- I'm Alive by TearsOfAFallen Devil
I am an INFP and my husband is ESTJ. So same first 4 functions, just in different order. We're the exaple of 'opposites attract'. (In how we act,not in MBTI). My weaknesses such as keeping the fridge filled, keeping the house cleaned,researching the best option before we buy, talking to strangers and remembering details are his strengths. My strengths such as keeping in touch with people we know, planning a full day, reading people or actually taking action are his weaknesses. At the same time we both have Ne and Te so we like discussing theorethical circumstances and we both have Fi and Si so we understand we each have strong inner values. Of course there are frustrations and we do fight sometimes, but we can handle them.
I totally agree with your theories! While it is true that all types are compatible as long as they are healthy and communicate well, natural compatibility is undeniable. For example, I am (INTJ) romantically more drawn to ENTJs and other T types. I can’t really see myself with Fi or Fe doms. Fe is just so strange to me and it’s something I can never make sense of lol I’ve dated an ISFJ for 4 years and it was just so exhausting because we were just SO different. However, when it comes to friendships I’m friends with all types of people. My bff of 14 years is an INFJ and we really are a powerful duo, even though I think it’s more about being Ni doms than using Fe. Some of my other best friends include ENxPs, ESxJs and ESxPs.
oh yeah and funnily enough, a large percentage of people I had crushes on are ISTPs. there's just something about them👀 but they were never mutual, most of them think I'm too scattered and dreamy - ENFP
Okay first, this was a brave and well thought out video; very nicely done 👌 Second, I need to nitpick about something: There are exceptions to the “people being drawn to genuine authentic people” rule, especially if it’s a genuinely “happy” rule. For instance, say someone has a miserable chronic illness, and is unbearably lonely and depressed. They would still need to be able to function in every day life in order survive. No matter how hard they try, they would not be able to feel happy, or worth anyone’s friendship. Any potential friends are going to feel severely drained after hanging around them if that person is their true genuine self, leaving them more lonely and making things worse. They would have to act content with their emotions for long enough to find a real friend or someone to talk to that can help, and make them less lonely. Then they wouldn’t have to put as much energy into acting okay. “Basically they would need to fake it till they make it” No one wants to be around people who complain all the time, but some people can stand to be around really quiet people. In my life, I was never that bad off. I had family, and a few friends, but I never felt like I was worth anyone’s time. When I got to college I tried acting happier and more confident than I was, and eventually I stared to make some friends. It was a cool moment when I realized that some people were actually *choosing* to spend time with me, and that boosted my happiness and confidence greatly, and I didn’t have to fake as much, which then attracted more friends in a positive feedback loop sorta way. Now I’m doing great and I love a lot of people, who actually tolerate the days where I still lack energy and feel insecure. It’s really cool to know that I have a lot of friends now who like me even though I’m not perfect, which also makes rejection from people who don’t know me a lot easier as well. I’m finding that being genuine happy seems to annoy some people, but fair enough I guess. So all that is to say that being your genuine authentic self is the ideal state to be in, there are times when that just can’t be done, or probably should not be done. (Like with people who work customer service jobs, for example, would probably lose their jobs if they were authentic towards customers) Thirdly, about the rest of the video: I think my brain is too simple to fully understand the function/syntax concepts of theory #3 and on very well, but I fully agree with 1 and 2; I see that a lot. I went out with a girl who I’m pretty sure was the extroverted version of my type, and we kind of burned too bright too quick that we kind of scared each other away. I’m over it now though… mostly. She probably would’ve gotten bored of me eventually anyway; I loved her energy, but it was really hard to match for extended periods of time. Thank you for reading my non-proofread essay to whoever did. I need to go do my actual homework now. Have a nice day :)
I've seen quite a few mentions of ENFP INTP pairings in the mbti community(Ti trickster with Ti dominant) and as an INTP, I've found myself spending a lot of time with ENFPs. Idk if it is just me being drawn to ENFPs, or ENFPs approaching me, but most of my closest friends have always been ENFPs. Obviously, I could be an exception.
I - an ISTP - feel similar. I’m not sure about compatibility since I don’t have any close ENFP friends as far as I know. But I’ve always been drawn to xNFPs, INFPs in particular. There’s no actual trickster/dominant combination between ISTP and INFP but with ENFP there would be one in both directions.
I love how your mind works! - INTP - And I love the INTP looks in your role-playing videos; the professor is the best. :) AND: My background in philosophy makes it a little hard for me to fully engage in this MBTI stuff. But it is really entertaining, and I admit, there is truth in it.
i wonder if kristin believes in the popular model that extroverts and people with the introverted version of their lead extroverted function are compatible. for ex. her and her istj roommate (Se and Si)
I've heard this theory and must say that I get along well with both ISTJs and ISFJs, but it's slightly easier for me to communicate with ISTJs, I think because they share two of my functions.
You can't change someone else. That is absolutely true. The sooner people realize this, the sooner they can get along, learn to appreciate and accept each other and yes, even possibly love each other. I think that my wife might be an ISFP while I'm an INTJ with the Harmonizing variant. We've been married about 15 years now and get along really well. At first, it wasn't always so easy as we took some time to get to know and get used to each other's quirks, different ways of thinking etc. I'm very glad that she's not an extreme extrovert or SE dom as people like that drive me nuts. :) She does seem to cope with social situations better than I do though, so that is quite helpful at times. I'm also glad that she doesn't seem to enjoy arguing or debating things any more than I do. I've known so many couples where one spouse seems to love to argue while the other doesn't and the one who doesn't just seems miserable. Of course, that avoidance doesn't always work out well because on rare occasions, one or both of us will blurt out something that we've been repressing, so then we have to try to discuss it and deal with it. Fortunately, she isn't one who shouts or gets carried away with emotional outbursts when she argues, so as unpleasant as our rare arguments are for me, they could be worse. She's said herself that in many ways, we compliment each other. My strengths are her weaknesses and vice versa.
Thats very funny. Im ISTJ and my wife is INFJ. So like you said probably less compatible. And it WAS a LOT of work to understand the communication style of the other one. Especially for her but now we are used to it ^^
I’m an INFJ; I married an ISTP, which has its challenges, but they are continually decreasing, especially after a decade together. I think we get each other, even if our interests don’t tend to align. It’s as you said, where we let each other be ourselves; we encourage each other to try things we might not otherwise, but without trying to fundamentally change each other. Having each other’s weakest functions as our own strongest is, I think, a huge aid to personal growth. I tend to love being around other Fe users. I get along really well with ENFJs and ESFJs. Although, since they’re so enthusiastic, and obviously don’t want to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings, I often find myself questioning whether they really mean some of the things they say. Do they really like things as much as they say? For example, is “OMG! That painting/food you made/thing you did was SO AMAZING!” actually the equivalent of “it’s pretty good” from a less effusive person like myself? I don’t want to think so, but…I have trust issues. 😬 I do prefer honesty, even if it can be disappointing in the moment. (Admittedly, I have a hard time being completely honest if it might hurt someone’s feelings. I try to avoid saying anything then, or express my opinion honestly, but as nicely as I can.) I think my sister is an ISFP; we were always close, she’s funny, and fun to be around, but we have clashed at times because our values haven’t always aligned. And I think accepting outside input is a fate worse than death to her, which often defies logic. I have an ENFP friend whom I get along with well, and we can talk for hours, but I feel very drained after, and I need like a week alone for every day spent with her. 😅 And, she and other ENFPs I know tend to be very dramatic. So I think I would probably have a hard time with any type of live-in relationship with one. I know several ISTJs, and with some of them, I often find myself internally wondering at their closed-mindedness toward things that are new or different; I don’t dislike them for it, and I can often understand their reasoning, I just don’t always agree, especially when they resist sound arguments. (But it’s not like they’re always like that.) I used to have a negative view of ESFPs after I was hurt by one whom I was good friends with. But, I’ve gotten past that. We enjoyed each other’s company before it ended, despite our differences, and what happened was not a reflection of her personality type, but of her maturity level and mental health, I think. We both made mistakes. And anyway, you, Kristin, certainly seem like a lovely and fun person. 💕
Great video!! I like the fact you said it doesn't mean that just because someone doesn't share the same functions, it doesn't mean they'll be unable to get along. Just takes more time :). I personally subscribe to a 4 function model, but I definitely see the 7th function causing a problem for me lol. So I understand where that comes from. I fully agree that types with the same functions can get along really well with not much effort at all lol. I really, really enjoy spending time with ENFPs as an INFP, it's almost like talking to a mirror, except, they can help you with your forth function, and you can help them with theirs lol. My dad is ISTJ, we have a very similar sense of humour, and he can read my mind and I can read his lol. I also love spending time with NTJs and NTPs too. We have a real blast!
Interesting theories... I'm not sure about INTPs being particularly compatible with ESFJs though, me and my ESFJ mother and sister never really could relate or understand one another. Ofc it might work out differently if it was a potential partner 🤷♀️ I think the people I feel the most compatible with (as of now) are ISTP, INTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, ENTP, INFP and other INTPs... I dont know the functions good enough to see any pattern in there though, it's just speaking from experience... 🤔
On your second theory, I feel like I've heard of many instances where INTPs have very negative experiences with ESFJs (particularly when you bring in the archetype of "ESFJ mum suppressing the misunderstood INTP child"), so I wonder whether the variation in functions themselves contributes greater/lesser differences (e.g. is Fe more conflicting than Fi depending on order?). I'm loving your MBTI theory vids tho, very informative!
I think this sounds valid! My chats with people since releasing this video have been super informative and it seems that certain groups might indeed feel this compatibility more than others. It could totally be the Fi/Fe factor. I'd love to refine some of these theories and ask the community about them in greater detail!
I am an INTP with ISTJ dad. So yes many negative experiences. I would be fine with other personality types but, the fact the ISTJ is given power over me as my father makes it not work well.
Yep, had negative experiences with an ESFJ, was my sis though, not my mother, was still bad enough 😅 But with some ESFPs as well... In my experiences Fe or Fi... is both problematic, if people do not reflect on their behaviour. It is to some extent less problematic in intuitive users though. And one can learn to get along better, but instant connection is usually with other INTPs (in some cases with INFPs). Never had any trouble with ENTJs or INTJs though, like some here described.
I have had both good and bad experiences with ESFJs. I think my grandma was one and she was the warmest, most loving person I have ever met. She was also one of the few people that made me feel comfortable enough to express my emotions in a time when my Fe had not yet entered the stage, so in my childhood and early teens. My ISFJ aunt comes second in regards to facilitating an environment where I’m comfortable to express my emotions, but it is not as effortless as it was with my grandmother. The negative experiences I have made with an ESFJ (not 100% sure I got the type right, though) were with an extremely toxic person in my class who was very manipulative and even bragged to me once that she knew everyone‘s weaknesses which she could use to get what she wants. She also would use those weaknesses to very subtly bully certain classmates and yet, she was one of the most popular people in our year. Healthy ESFJs are awesome, though ❤️ - INTP
@@janaretlow8699 Yeah, I think ESFJ/INTP relationships can be very hit or miss. I'm fortunate enough to have an INTP best friend. We do clash on some things -- I'm hellbent on feeding my Fe via smothering gift-giving and she's even more hellbent on rejecting any presents. However her TiNe brain inspires so much awe in me when I see it at work and it makes me want to develop my functions. I think when a good relationship forms between opposing types, it can really benefit both parties (i.e. your accessing of Fe and mine with Ti)!
I have always believed that the introverted and extroverted functions are compatible. For me as an INTP i like to say what i think(Ti), if i have a partner that has(Te) she likes to listen what i have to think about it, but if i have a partner with Ti she will listen to what she thinks. Were trying to take each others place. It is the same with the other functions like Si and Se. People with Si need there partner to make them comfortable but there partner with has low Se which means there bad at it making people comfortable.
I haven't experienced this personally but I've heard about some sort of synergistic relationship between INTJ and INTP, which apparently makes them click and get along very well. Even saw a breaking bad meme about it in the mbti community.
Lol. Not that what you’re saying isn’t true, but you’re straight up preaching Fi self love and authenticity here, as the key to allowing compatibility to Te work for everyone. Quite the ExFP solution! (I agree with it, I’m just having a chuckle)
Well, reading some of the comments and having agreed with you Kristin at the most part, I can say maybe compatibility should be defined in particular contexts. Like, you may be compatible with a person in your working environment but not in a friendly one or be compatible with a person in a friendly environment but not a romantic one. Because you need "different types" of compatibility for each circumstance. That's my personal experience and point of view of course. I hope I'm getting understood, haha. Thank you for the video, it was very interesting once again. Take care 😊
I'm an INFJ and I find I get along best with INxx types. I enjoy connecting on emotional topics with INFs and I also like being more intellectual with INTs. I don't connect with other types nearly as well as I do with INs. I don't think cognitive functions matter as much as differences in the traits, for example even though INFPs have totally different functions than INFJs they generally get along well together because they both are INFs
I’m an isfp and my girlfriend is a istj.. before we where together it was a lot of her fallowing me around and watching me creepily with this blank scary stare, and she’d constantly pick my brain apart, feed me alcohol to get me talking, like every single red flag and none of them went off. The more I got to know her the more I just idk (might have been her making me feel this on purpose) I started to find myself coming to her for everything, and her being the only person I really trusted enough to say more than one or two words to. No matter how much I change or what happens she’s the one constant in my life and I appreciate her infinitely, that and her little ocd habits are absolutely adorable and I haven’t met a single person remotely like her, she’s so weird in this admirable way, I don’t mean to sound shallow but she’s just got a quirk for fucking everything. Infinite entertainment. We’ve been together 5 years since I was 14. Also her belief system is flawless, she doesn’t just adopt other people’s beliefs, and she has helped me compose myself in numerous ways, and she’s the reason I even understand my own beliefs and know how to actually uphold them in a meaningful way. We walk by and you’ll here us casually debating social issues or random shit, and you’d think we where arguing but in reality we have a lot of fun talking like that. She legitimately doesn’t hurt my feelings because I know her intentions. And her feelings never get hurt because she knows mine.
both your types are so underrated in the mbti community. my ISFP best friend gives the absolute best advice and they're actually younger than me. you wouldn't believe it if you see us lol - ENFP
@@larsswig912 I find myself giving advice a LOT, and most of the time it stems from me seeing how people somehow don’t think it’s okay to be a little selfish at times… usually in one way or another, it’s me telling people to value freedom and believe not in something that will help them escape, but to believe in themselves and change things. Like, you have the right, to do whatever you want lol… and I’m not afraid to get into people’s business if it means making another person free from the illusion of multiple choice (sorry that got long and complicated)
@@larsswig912 U would be surprised but that's exactly the case with me as well! I'm an ISFP and my best friend's an ENFP and I'm also younger to her 😂...but honestly I really really appreciate u ENFPs a lot. I just feel so comfortable around my friend, she's like the first person in my whole of life with whom I've ever been that open and comfortable with. She just accepts me wholeheartedly with whatever I am without exactly judging me tho at times I do feel she criticises me for some of my flaws but it's always in a more joking manner and I would ultimately just get over it. U ENFP guys r amazing!!!
The Fi is really strong in this video. You have explained your theory very well and it is an interesting topic to cover. I am INTP and my lovely wife is ESFJ. When I had (finally) convinced her to take the Keirsey temperament sorter, I was a bit startled by her results first. ESFJ?! That is my exact opposite! Later on I have discovered that we are not exact opposites. We complement each other, because we share the same 4 cognitive functions (function stack) but in opposite order.
I am an INTJ. I believe my late wife was an ENTJ. Definitely lead with Te and I am pretty certain she was not an ESTJ. I don't think I could be married to an ESTJ. My wife and I complimented one another beautifully and we felt like a "power couple". We could truly be around one another non-stop. That was the way we preferred it. As close to perfect as I can imagine.
I’m an INTP and I really feel drawn towards Fi I consider myself a more emotional INTP than the stereotype and I honestly love talking to others about their own personal beliefs and discovering who they really are and can be That’s why I tend to seek out to my INFP, ENFP and ESFP friends for emotional support
@@m2pozad Yep, I'm a female. I would attribute it to having a supportive family and having a strong identity and a strong sense of belonging, making me assertive and confident in my skin. Yeah sure I get anxious and shy at times but most people would mistake me for an extrovert in the beginning because I'm chatty and bubbly when I want to be. (I guess I'm good at faking it til you make it). Obviously as an introvert, as time progresses, my energy feels drained and I become a lot more quieter. But yeah there is a large difference from being anxious and actually having a prescribed anxiety disorder. So whilst I feel some sense of anxiety in relation to communicating with other people occasionally for instance, it's so mild that it's not really much of a problem.
@@lbell9695 WoW! So it is possible! Too many questions... And You don't possess, 'The Swan who thinks it's a duck', struggle? Actually now that I've read more, have you ever tested as something other than INFP?
Good thoughts! I'm an ENFJ - I dated an INFJ and honestly, it was so easy for us to get along, but eventually it got tiring. We both spent so much time overthinking. I think I'm naturally most drawn to INFPs - they value feelings but my Fe gets to look after their Fi; plus, they have such incredible and amazing thoughts and ideas which my Ni positively SOAKS up! I need an Ne user who's well rounded though - if they can't put their mug in the dishwasher, forget about it. 😜
It must be the 12 year long relationship with my INFP best friend, (I'm an ENTP.) but I think I've gotten used to Fi being a part of my life even if I don't particularly value it. Thanks, bestie!
I really like your videos, and this one is no exception, Kristin! I must, however, vehemently disagree with your opinion that all types are compatible on the basis of everyone valuing authenticity. I first turned to MBTI as a means of understanding why I could not get along with my Mum. I’m a true blue INTJ, and my Mum an ISFJ. As an INTJ I am fundamentally about change. I always look forward to the future, and look to change or even break systems in order to produce better outcomes for everyone. My ISFJ mum is inherently about keeping stability, harmony, peace. She looks back on the past and is always about resisting change. As you might imagine, this is a source of much of the conflict between us. An example would be how I left my home country to pursue an overseas education, and the main obstacle in my way was her. This is an ineradicable, fundamental difference that no amount of authenticity can bridge. In fact, us being our authentic selves is precisely what brings about conflict in the first place, And this is not even to mention the chasm in the way we communicate. Intuitive vs Sensing. My ISFJ Mum can talk endlessly on which shop offers cheaper products, what the products are, which new shops have opened, this person said this, this person did that… My INTJ brain can’t be arsed to listen to these seemingly superfluous details. All I care about is a big picture. This is a question of personal interest, for which again no amount of authenticity can bridge. Perhaps your advice is meant to uplift people, but that’s certainly not true in my case. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in a situation like this. Any advice more specific to the details of my situation would be greatly appreciated!
Hello and thank you for your comment! Ah yes, this is a classic SJ/NT dilemma. What you describe is indeed problematic when you don't understand what drives the other. This must be highly frustrating! To elaborate, my point is that in using MBTI as a tool for understanding, we can be ourselves whilst understanding how fundamentally different the other is. So an SJ would learn to appreciate an NTs desire to see the bigger picture, even if the SJ doesn't care to do so. If the SJ understands that this is what gives the NT life, the SJ can uplift the NT in this pursuit, whilst not necessarily "joining in" on it themselves. This will make the NT feel more understood, and increase the NTs ability to listen to the "superficial" SJ chatter, understanding that that gives the SJ life. And through understanding each other, and feeling loved by the other, they can uplift each other in their respective positions, whilst understanding that the other person will likely never show the same enthusiasm as they do. Then you can say things such as, "wow, I feel hurt and don't understand why this person needs to leave me to go overseas, but I respect their autonomy, their personal process and know that this is something they need to do, for whatever reason, and so I'll uplift them in that", rather than stifling it. So you see, without endeavouring to understand the other, and only focusing on the self, we lower our chances of being compatible with others. But with understanding, we can learn to get along with many more people, and support them in whatever their heart/mind desires (provided it's healthy etc). Hope this makes my thoughts clearer!
I must say, I’m really impressed that you not only read, but also gave such detailed response to my reply, and so quickly at that! It says a lot about you as a person :) That is a well-thought through response, and honestly that has helped me gain some perspective on my situation. You’ve earned my subscription! :)
Hi Kristin - First: Sorry you’re back in lockdown☹️ Second: Happy for the videos😃 Third: Amazed you can keep all the letters straight when talking about so many MBTI types! 🤪 As usual, another excellent video!
It's interesting because I can see your theory #3 playing out with my INFP brother and INFJ mother. I understand both of them, but they have constant miscommunications. However, my brother dated an INFJ for a while and it was kind of ok. So I tend to think we spend more effort on understanding the relationships we choose and can get more impatient in regards to family. XD This just reminded me to be more open to my ENTP partner's Ne. *takes deep breath in ISFJ* *whispers* change is good, change is good, change is good.... 😂
You're absolutely right. I'm INFP and besides having an affinity for xxFPs, I find myself staying with anyone who seems genuine. I don't care about Fi and Fe or other functions as long as the person is true to themselves. I have INFJ, ISFJ, INTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ, ENTP friends and they are obviously different but the match works.
I’m an ENFJ and my most favorite and closest people in my life all happen to be INFJs so theory #1 has proven correct in my life! Love me some INFJs I feel like we understand each other very well and can have really great in depth Ni conversations especially creative or problem-solving related things
The cognitive functions are attracted to each other. Fi and Fe. Ti and Te. Ni and Ne. Si and Se. Is compatibility. Like a key and a lock. But there is camaraderie, so a bunch of keys hanging out together. That'd be like INFPs and ENFPs vibing. For long term optimal romantic relationships go for compatibility. Taking other obvious points like development and values into consideration for the highest chances of success.
This is such a good video for helping us to all get along better; you summarized everything so well, as usual. I actually also theorized a lot of the same theories. I have to say I think my function line group does tend to be easier as a whole in general than the other types for communication with me. And the group that I share no functions with, as a whole... I would say generally is the most difficult in communication understanding. I live with an INFP... and we talk to each other quite a lot, connect easily, love each other's company, and get along super well, but we almost always have moments where our communication gets really confusing. We really just can't understand what each other is saying sometimes or understand the other's logic. And this is so with the other types of that function group. But I would say that it very rarely happens with my mirror function type. I've found it to get a lot easier when I learned about MBTI and started to really appreciate those differences as strengths. And now I think I can also get along pretty well generally with most personalities and appreciate them when they are being themselves.... If any of what I said even made sense.😅
Lady estp here, great vid! I tend to like/have friendships with most types but seem to prefer shared functions and feelers (I have more female friends though too). Having Se or Ti in their stack somewhere really does make it easier, INFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, INTJ are all easy friends. Less easy friends are ENFJ, ISFP, ESTJ, ESFP's. Love/hate = ENTP, ENFP, ESFJ. INFP & ISTJ = ugh, I don't get you. I don't know if I know any INTP or ENTJ's. I've dated too many ENTP's...NEVER again, lol! Cheers!
Hey Kristin ! I think a funny and interesting video that you could make is "Each extroverted type dating the introverted type" Entp & intp, istj & estj etc. ! Thanks for your awsome work you really make my day when I watch one of your
I absolutely agree with you about how compatibility is not necessarily decided by types. Sometimes compatibility is decided by commonality of interests, hobbies, world views, values and goals in life. Mbti helps us to understand each other at a cognitive level and could definitely complement compatibility. But attraction on other hand I feel has a bit to do with mbti types. In my experience, I have been attracted to certain types more than the others irrespective of whether they were compatible or not. Also, the trickster theory makes more sense to me because as an infj, I have never been that interested in estj, entj who are Te doms but Te aux(intj, istj) could be potentially interesting especially intj since we have shared Ni. Again, these are my personal experiences with the types. On a side note, I do think that dominant or auxiliary extraverted functions and introverted functions work well. For instance, Ne dom can find Ni dom or Fe aux or Te aux attractive. Not sure if it applies to every type. Thank you for such a wonderful video! Greatly enjoyed it. ❤️ Can’t wait for the next one!
Hey there ! Thanks for this video, very interesting, though i have quite a different experience. As an INTP, I don't particularily feel i connect well with types that share my functions in a different order. I particular, I think ESFJ is the type I have the most difficulties interacting with. And actually, I think that types with all functions different to mine can work really well. I was in a relationship for 15 years with an INTJ and we still are great friends, communication was always super easy, and just different enough to be interesting and challenging. And now i'm in a relationship with an ISFP and we have a great connection even though i must say it's a bit less obvious. I think Ne ans Se tend to resonate well (just as you explain in the video), and even though our judging functions are different, I think they complement each other well, kind of helping with our respective shortcomings. So, I don't concur to the trickster theory, because my trickster function would precisely be Se. I don't think my relationship with Se is tense, rather that I tend not to be very aware of it (I tend to feel disconnected with the tangible world), and being with someone who's very much in the moment is very healthy for me. Rather than the trickster function, I rather think it's my inferior function that is less "attractive" to me. People with Fe as dominant or auxilliary tend to stress me out, I really feel it's triggering something too sensitive in me. So there it is, that's just my experience, thanks for sharing your theories, i love your videos !
I've noticed your theories to be correct in my life too! I'm an INTJ and I think you and I would get along in real life. Also, I know that I would work well with an ENTJ. And I once had an INTP assistant in the past and I remember that I secretly wanted to fire her every day :(
I definitely think part of these compatibilities are based on how well developed your and your partner's functions are. If you have developed your 4 functions, then maybe the mirror type would be most appealing as their function order is your shadow function order. While you may be more naturally drawn to others of your quadrant, being close with an undeveloped type in that category can be either draining or potentially harmful to your development as they may stagnate your growth (of course it depends on the person). I've personally found having relationships with well developed people with completely different functions to me has been one of the best ways I have personally grown/matured
This feels so true for me. As an INTJ, I have never been able to communicate with any of the INTPs I know without feeling some weird misunderstanding/insecurity. Meanwhile, my closest friendships are with ESFPs and ISFPs. To your 'trickster' function theory, my experience holds partially true. I am a particularly empathetic INTJ, but I have a hard time communicating with people who place their values over logic (i.e. my INFJ friend who expresses wanting to do something that seems like an illogical idea but does it 'because it sounds fun.') I find it very frustrating and exhausting to talk to her when she goes on about her bad spending habits 😂
Maybe the INFJ friend is unhealthy. I don't see a healthy INFJ putting Fun over Logic... an ENFJ might be easily pulled to do that though. But all of the healthy INFJ's I know value Logic over doing something just because it sounds fun. Though it may be a misunderstanding between Te logic and Ti logic.
#3 I think is off. INTP & INTJ can work quite well, because we compliment each other, usually coming to similar conclusion through different means. Might be conditionally true if other incompatibilities add.
I'm an ENTJ and my gf is an ISFJ. So this is really the worst match for me haha? We are still going strong after 8 years of relationship, but it is a battle. The effort is huge to understand each other and not get in a fight every day.
7:19 I'm an ENFP and I tend to gain a lot of energy when talking to my INFP friend which I believe is the same for the other person as well P.S. It's the same with my INTP friend just that it might be a bit harder to communicate sometimes
Great Video Kristin, as always. I love the use of agape, pun definitely intended. Also, as an INTJ, I find myself enjoying being around ESFPs, ISFPs and ENTJs quite a lot. However, there’s certainly rough patches with one person I know who’s ISFP, probably because of our work dynamic if anything. Anyway, great stuff. I appreciate everything you’re doing.
umm i think i have something to add to the 4th theory, about the trickster functions. when the trickster function is a judging one, the types are incompatible, because they dont understand each other's decisions BUT when the trickster function is a percieving one, theyre even more compatible because they show each other new ways of seeing things. granted, they have to be open-minded and healthy overall (not have huge egos) to let anyone teach them their viewpoint. this is coming from the most Si blind ENTJ. even before i knew MBTI, i always built teams with high Si individuals and i think its best, because i have huge problems(with memory and forgetting to eat/sleep mainly), which are more easily solved with Si users around.
Thank you for presentig your theories on compatibility. I like to observe how differently people of different personality types approach this topic. Personally I think who the right person is depends on a persons needs. Some need emotional compassion, some need a deep brain to brain connection, some need a functioning practical partnership, and others just need someone to have endless careless fun together. As an idealist I care about shared moral values. And I need emotional warmth and closeness. Of course mbti doesn't forbid to pair up with a partner who can't fulfill any of your needs and ice versa, buuuuut. Think again - maybe^^
INFP here. I don't know about romance as I've never been in any romantic relationships, but friendship-wise I've got some strong friends in an ESTJ and an ISTJ. I've also got a great friendship with an ESFP, an ENTP and two INTPs as well.
My daughter is an INTP with 2 best ENFP friends, INFP roommate in school, and ISTP boyfriend. I never understood her until I discovered MBTI. We laugh a lot now and get each other, finally. I love INTP's calmness, rationality, humor, artistic nature, helpfulness, and loyalty. They are also non-judgmental therefore a breath of fresh air. From your friendly neighborhood ESFJ mom
Damn it now I'm all emotional. That's so sweet of you, your daughter is very lucky to have a mom who sees her unique qualities and appreciates her as-is. I'm glad mbti could do that for you 🥰
Edit: I've seen a few comments now from INTPs saying they felt downtrodden by an ESFJ mother, so I'm especially proud that you overcame this! Gold star ⭐ lol
@@whitneyd6827 Thanks for the gold 🌟 😆
ISTP here. I think INTP women are great. Very rare, teaches them to march to their own drums, a quality I think makes for my favorite people.
It's wonderful you're supporting her in being herself! That, too, is rare.
"And get eachother, finally"
That phrase is so beautiful, it's not very common for parents to look for ways to understand their child, let alone an INTP child (because INTPs are generally hard to understand due to how different they are, thus people don't really try). I'm so happy for you and your daughter. My only advice is to keep understanding eachother with an open mind and encourage her to share her opinions about certain topics with you, and to ask her thought provoking questions :DD goodluck and wish you both a very pleasant life!
Who asked?
Well i think all types can be compatible as long as both people are healthy in the relationship. Your theories make a lot of sense, I think the same way. Good video! ~an infj
I agree! My mom is an ISFJ and my dad is an ENTP and they have healthy relationship
Another INFJ here and I totally agree. I think people can be compatible with any type but their values and whatnot have to be the same. For instance, people say ENTPs and INFJs would make a great couple. And honestly, they probably would. Unless one was a Democrat and the other a Republican. Or one was an atheist and the other a Christian.
Hang out with an ESTP and tell me how it goes.
@@Lea-ov8vq Probably mistyped. OR they're highly developed. And keeping all other factors the same. The ISFJ would have a much more satisfying relationship with an ESFP. And the ENTP with an INTJ.
@@nabsnabster3488 my mom is an ISFJ and my dad's an ISTP. Pretty crazy but they love each other so 😂
Of course there wasn't a fly there. The spider got him.
Hahahahaha!
🖤🕷🖤
I think INTP and INTJ can be a good combination, perhaps not so much in a romantic relationship, but in a work collaboration. They definitely bring different things to the table.
INTJ: Uses Ni to set an overall goal
INTP: Uses Ne to come up with the best approach to achieve the goal
INTP: Uses Ti to check that the goal and approach are sound and workable
INTJ: Uses Te to ensure that the goal actually gets accomplished
You need all four of these things for something to get implemented and work as intended.
You really nailed it!
My mom's an INTP and my dad's an INTJ. They have been arguing with each other for 30 years every day. (literally)
But when there's a real problem in life, they suddenly stopped arguing and solved it together with amazing efficiency!
This is a GREAT working rel'ship! I'm an INTJ and my sister is an INTP, we've always thought we could take over the world if we put our heads together!
@@Jenny-nd8sq That's my life. Uninspiring. Lots of contempt about life meaning. Solving problems is the easy part, so massive settling wins the day.
Terrible pairing, I dated an INTP
I (ENTP) was in a band with an INTP and an INTJ. Both are my best friends, but man do they not like each other. But at least they tried when I was around :D
she’s an esfp but her Ni insights are really well developed and she’s good at blasting. makes me question what i’m doing to strengthen my inf function
Yes and I am very proud of her
I was thinking this actually, it's odd that she enjoys it so much but it's awesome that she's found an unlikely strength
i think she's an undercovered INTJ wanting to be a normal person
I’m an INFP but I’m very close with the INFJs in my life. I think having completely different functions can sometimes be complementary instead of clashing.
INFP twins with an INFJ....before I saw the congnitive functions explained, I was trying to figure out why we were soooo different despite only being "one letter different.". We are pretty much the mirror image of eachother
@@dunedainmom good way of putting it!
Personally, I've seen that Ne-doms (ENxP) get along pretty well with Ni-doms (INxJ). Especially INTJ-ENFP and INFJ-ENTP.
One of the best friendships of my life was ENTP-INTJ. Very rewarding and never a dull moment. Had our issues like everyone else of course, that's inevitable, but overall it was amazing.
This is a known thing with ENTP and INFJs. :)
The opposing lead intuition causes great interactions in my experience.
@@mara3842 Agree. My 2 sons are ENTP and INTJ... best friends.
@@Trasea Yes, I wonder if one part could be added to Kristen's theory -- not an absolute, but if you go back to the Keirsey sorter, I wonder if NFs, NTs, SPs, and SJs generally find a level of compatibility wiith each other, at least in friendship, or perhaps as coworkers.
Theory 3 is a bit odd, just because of all the stuff I've seen online.
INFJs and ENFPs are typically seen as a very compatible match, same with INFPs and ENFJs, so to see a theory that posits them as incompatible is odd.
Three videos in the same week is such a blessing. You've inspired me to make content and skits about MBTI, and I would probably do it if I thought I had anything worthwhile to add xD
-INFP
I agree with you, I think the 2nd and 3rd letters are the most important for compatibility between intuitive types because common values and level of intensity matter more than common communication styles.
@@Lani I think my ENFJ friend is also married to an ISTP. Personal preference is still a huge factor, and some people like to have more polarity while others like more similarity
There is the common theory of the "golden pair" where you have the opposite, flip-side functions, but in fact, this can be quite a difficult relationship to foster. Both people can talk from different sides and miss each other; it can cause confusion because you seem like you're compatible but still come from totally different sides. I've had this happen. It can work, but it's not all it is cracked up to be.
"You're being an obstacle in your own ability to love the person properly." Super wise advice.
I like the first third of this video for its nuggets of wisdom, particularly the Fi speech on compatibility. Authenticity and understanding are key components of any relationship.
Well I’m an INFP with an INFJ best friend and we talk a lot and it feels tireless (on my side at least) so theory #3 miiiight be a bit off
For the INFP the INFJ is the second most compatible out of the 16. ENFJ being first.
@@nabsnabster3488 whos 3rd and 4th?
@@rixalla5598 3rd: ESTP 4th: ISTP 5th: ENTJ 6th: INTJ.
@@nabsnabster3488 As an INFP, I’m actually really close to an INTJ, and can connect well with an ISTP, so I’d say this is accurate. ENTJs and INFJs do scare me a bit, though, but that may just be my own experience haha
Agree, I'm INFP and my Mom is INFJ... we get along so well. My best guy friend is INFJ and my best girlfriend is ENFJ.
Me, with no clue what my personality type or dominant function is: hmm, interesting.
Relatable
were you popular in high school ? yes e no i
do you play sports ? yes s no n
are you good at maths ? yes t no f
is your room tidy ? yes j no p
@@arnaudj2708 Stereotypical typing isn’t accurate tho.
@@arnaudj2708 I don't think its that straightforward, but ok
@@arnaudj2708 Ah yes, because of quarantine everyone's an intuitive now
ENTP here. I’m most attracted to INFJs and INFPs. INFJs hook me more romantically, while INFPs hook me more in a “fun” type of way. INFJs have a deep inner world that just makes me have to hold myself back so I don’t fall for her too quickly. It’s the only type that makes me do that. It’s very intense, almost too intense at times. INFPs are much “safer” for me, but also just as attractive. They’re fun, cute, shy, and I feel like I can say anything without offending them because they’re very open minded, and as long as you can make them laugh and keep them smiling, you can get away with murder. I can kill someone in front of an INFP girl and as long as I cracked a joke right before she’ll be too busy laughing and smiling to even care. I love it. They’re the easiest to get along with out of all the types I think.
Types that I get along with (but aren’t necessarily attracted to) are INTPs, INTJs, ENFPs, ENFJs, and other ENTPs. I supposed INTJs and ENFJs can be attractive, but I’m really the most drawn to INFJs and INFPs.
My sister is an ISFJ and we’ve always had a close relationship. I’ve been told that I would be happy with an ISFJ if I were to date one, but I don’t know if I’ve ever met another one.
ESTPs are a tricky one. I click with them very well, it’s actually scary how much alike we are. In some ways. We have a lot of similar inflections in our voice when we speak or when we’re asserting ourselves, and the way we react emotionally to things is pretty similar. I find myself clicking more with an ESTP than other ENTPs lol. But ESTPs seem to be bi-polar or something, I don’t know, they can change on a dime and act completely different depending on who is in the room. And they can easily rile me up. Like they’ll just become a bully out of nowhere and start putting other people down. They’ll say they’re “just teasing” but it’s too far sometimes. Listen, I tease people a lot, but there’s some shit I just wouldn’t say. I get into conflicts with ESTPs more than any other type. But what I respect about them is that when we hash it out, it’s all good in the hood.
ISTPs are cool as hell too, almost forgot about them. They’re so laid back and chill. My best friend of 20 years is an ISTP. We never “click” on anything more than a surface level, but it’s honestly awesome because of that. Just mad chill all around.
No offense to every other type but...I don’t have enough of an opinion on them. I don’t work well with ESTJs or ISTJs, ENTJs annoy the hell out of me, ESFPs I have nothing in common with, same with ISFPs. I suppose ESFJs can be fun in a group, they have great energy, but I can’t really click with them.
I really want to argue with you, bi-polar?, all of us?, lol! But let's not. It could be true that ENTP's have more things they wouldn't say (unless provoked) and ESTP's have more things they won't say again. Cheers! - estp
@@manda_d LOL “let’s not”, come on that’s the best part! Well from what I understand ESTPs don’t see it as fun mental sparring like ENTPs do. I could be wrong though. With the bi-polar thing I just mean that from my experience, ESTPs tend to flip flop on how they behave depending on who is around, and their opinions on things aren’t consistent. I really do think they just go off how they feel/think in the moment, that’s where the inconsistency comes in. You guys live in the moment.
I like that analogy you made, I never thought of it that way. I’d have to (unfortunately) agree haha.
@@nickp3949 Yeah...it really is the best part and the worst part. I like to argue but only really with people I like/respect and not about everything/anything for no reason. Foot-in-mouth syndrome is a serious concern but not a mental illness. Also, it's possible you are occationally getting sensitive out of seemingly nowhere on your estp or yeah they just start rolling and then...whoops! Estps and entps both seem a little happier when they're dishing it out than when they're getting served. Lol! *secretly care what you think 😢*
@@manda_d It’s funny because it goes both ways. ESTPs get offended out of nowhere by us as well. It’s a two way street lol. Especially when you tell them they can’t do something. It takes a lot to really get to me, but what bothers me is when ESTPs don’t respect boundaries and think they can say whatever they want to whoever they want. That I have a problem with. Like i said, I tease people too, but my Fe knows when I’m about to hit a nerve. I bend boundaries but I don’t break them.
That last part is funny. We both act Ike we don’t give a fuck, but for the times we do, we really let the person have it. Once you strike a nerve with an ESTP or an ENTP it’s on.
Like I said, every ESTP I’ve known I end up having a great relationship with, but it always starts out with conflict because we’re so similar but so different in how we express things. I’ve never dated one though, I’m not really into extroverts to be honest.
@@nickp3949 Totally agree and same. Introverts are easier/better for me romantically too. Good talk, lol!
INTP married to an INTJ since 2006. There's plenty of stuff about each other's communication and way of going about things that we don't get (my being an autistic INTP exacerbates that), but that NT core does a lot of great work:
First, it's a shared set of broad priorities. We want to navigate with N and T, and that at least means that our goals for managing our shared living space will be generally compatible (namely, minimal interaction with the physical world so we can go back to NT-ing). It would be difficult for either of us to live with someone who needed a lot of sensory stimulation, because that changes so much of what the apartment has in it and what it's centered around.
Second, it means that we actually do pretty similar things for our respective areas of interest. This didn't come out until I was ensconced in my job (I'm in charge of the Seattle Municipal Code and I edit legislation drafts to help manage it) and she started pursuing a screenwriting career. But for each of our endeavors, we're in our element refining other people's work, helping them understand what they are trying to say and helping get to a superior version of what's been written. But mine's in the Ti realm - thinking through why this law isn't going to work as it's written - and hers is in the Ni realm - thinking through why this movie character wouldn't talk or act like that based on what was written before. Our being INTP and INTJ mean we gravitate toward different things - overall I hate movies, while my job bores almost everybody on the planet - but our roles in those things are startlingly similar, and we value that in each other.
it’s also cool of her to decide to film a third video this week. i’m loving the content
Thank you!!
I remember a theory that if you flip the E/I and the J/P, the types would be compatible. For example:
- INFJ with ENFP - INFP with ENFJ
- INTJ with ENTP - INTP with ENTJ
- ISFP with ESFJ - ISFJ with ESFP
- ISTP with ESTJ - ISTJ with ESTP
That might not be true though cause I'm an ISFP and sometimes I could get drained by Fe doms. But I agree with you that if you're a healthy type you could get along with anyone!
Edit: I forgot to mention, in that theory the compatible types also mirror each other's cognitive functions.
I know this is definitely true with intuitive dominant types (Ne-doms ENFP and ENTP are most compatible with Ni-doms INFJ and INTJ), it makes sense here since all intuitives are insatiably curious and ultimately want to consider the deeper meanings behind things, so they are easily compatible as a result. I’m not sure about sensory dominants and feeling/thinking dominants though.
INFJ and ENFP FTW 😊😊
@Milkyway AllDay Interesting! I kinda agree with you cause my friend is an ISFJ and we get along really well! Oh and INTPs too :) And for some reason most of my friends are introverted cause the extroverts are more likely to talk to other extroverts soo yeah-
It varies on the individuals. I as an ENTJ can be friends with an INTP, but marrying one, I'll pass on that.
Definitely true, as far as friends go. As an INTP, my best friend is an ENTJ. I don't really click with INTJs. ENTPs are ok, but I connect with ENTJs more. As far as romance goes, I prefer IxFJs.
ENTP here with an inexplicable attraction to INFPs. I think in my case my Ne+Ti combo has decided I need the one thing in my life that I don't use or understand. Ne generally wants to have everything it doesn't, especially when it comes to concepts.
My boyfriend appreciates how free my Ne is, as for him it's auxiliary, and he'd sometimes like to not be bound and biased by his values.
Not sure if there's other pairs that defy the Trickster incompatibility as much as ENTP/INFP, purely due to the nature of their functions.
As a S type, I really like your vids both skits and theories. Because sometimes I feel like MBTI RUclipsrs are so deep it kinda bores me, also its nice to see a S type share ideas about MBTI! it really inspires me! - an ESFJ.
I am an ENFJ and for some reason I've always had great relationships with ISTJs. Maybe because my 3 brothers are ISTJs haha
I’m so tempted to make a joke here but I won’t because that’s too far
I have a few ENFJ male coworkers married to female ISTJs. It's a pretty common match-up.
@@Raphsophomes Oh my goodness I know what you were gonna say. Thank you for not. That would have been going WAY too far.
@@kaydincathey ok what are you guys talking about
ISTJs are the 3rd most compatible with the ENFJ. After INFP and ENFP. So not so surprising.
I absolutely appreciate how Kristin clarified that any type can be compatible with any type as long as they allow space for each other to be their true selves. I am an INFJ / INFP (high Fi, Fe, Ni , AND Ne), and have been making good friends with INFP, ENFP, ISTP, ISTJ, INTP, and ENFJ. We never push each other to change, and created amazing bonds growing together. Limiting oneself only to certain types that are supposedly compatible only makes them miss out on so many great friendships / relationships imo
I 100% agree, I'm an ENFJ and value that exact thing in a friendship. I don't think people need to change to grow and thrive so it's great when friendships foster that!
I can also understand why you might not be sure where you stand between INFJ/P so let me give you some good ol' unwarranted ENFJ advice. Idk if you relate, but I find that the test grades questions designed to differentiate between J and P quite badly since I answer in favor of both strongly. I like to plan and I tend to live in the future but I also put special effort into really enjoying the moment and sometimes foregoing a plan just to let the experience be unique, so the test was like ah yes, here we have a classic ENFP. But when I read into the cognitive functions of each type I knew which I was immediately. Turns out, my strong Se was being graded as P. I definitely encourage you to read about it, the descriptions on typeinmind.com were super helpful for me! Hopefully you can figure it out :)
@@whitneyd6827 Ah yes I have learned to not rely on online tests lol. Like one test would say I’m ENFP (Ne dom), the other one would say I’m Fe dom, then the last one says I’m INFP...
Ty for the good Ol’ ENFJ advice tho! I’ll look into it
You forgot entp
You hit the nail right on the head with your last theory, I get on with ESTPs really well because they tend to ground me while still encouraging me to explore things and I can get them to get their ideas flowing. It also helps that ESTPs will challenge me with witty banter out of nowhere which I absolutely love, usually I start laughing because it's something I've found hilarious. Their mostly no bs approach to life is something I love too.
Absolutely! I've seen this combo thrive. Thanks for the insight!
Wow I cannot imagine turning to an estp to be grounded! Love the ones in my life but not for grounding, lol.
But what's your type?
@@sylvia470 I'm an ENTP.
Here are my two cents: compatibility and friendship are two very different things, you might enjoy hanging out with people that are similar types to you, because it’s Easy, but to actually complement each other it’s Best to share no cognitive functions, which rounds out The pairing because every function is utilized and contrasted with something different. Fx. I love hanging out with similar types to me, but they don’t offer as Much growth and Challenge that other more different types do.
I definitely see your points! I think the bottom line is that compatibility is far too complex to make rules out of 😅
I am an infp and i have had bad experiences with estjs no thanks I don't want them in my life. They don't seem to care about emotions. I think so people should have few core values in common in order to make a friendship or relationship last
@@akshara487 yeah because Yall are not compatible since you share all cognitive functions, most rewarding relationships for u are gonna be with NFJ’s and STP’s
@@Wallebm that makes sense
@@akshara487 Check out CS Joseph compatibility chart if you wanna learn more it’s genius I Think haha, as a fellow INFP
You made a good point about types that share no cognitive functions tend to be less compatible (as expected). But I think I can shed a little light here because I am the most stereotypical INFP and my partner is an ISTP.
These two types share none of the same functions, as shown in the video, but I and my partner get along pretty easily. I do think it has a lot to do with what Kristin said about adapting to people and learning what they might want/need. I am one of the more stoic INFPs but ISTPs can listen to your emotional rants! They're famous for being good listeners and my partner is no different.
The only thing is, ISTPs are obviously inclined to give you solutions to your problems after you've told them all of your shenanigans; which I don't think is bad. It's actually helped me a lot as an INFP, but my partner would definitely not be happy if I ranted to him just for the sake of it. Any two types can get along well as long as you are open-minded to new ways of life and are looking to improve yourself in any way possible!
8:50 Totally right. I'm an INFP married with an ESTP, we have been married for 11 years and I can confirm that communication has been our main struggle over all. Like, seriously, our biggest arguments have started for really dumb matters, those matters aren't really that important, but the reason why our arguments get that big it's because of our different communication styles. He can be very harsh saying things and my emotionality very intense to put up for him. We usually end up arguing more about how we said something or trying to clarify the misunderstanding itself, than about the problem itself. Sometimes I feel like we speak totally different languages.
But hey, I don't know, somehow we have resisted all this time together and I think there has definitely been some improvement in communication and our way of treating each other until today ... I also think that it has helped us develop aspects of our personality that perhaps of otherwise we would not have developed, so somehow we have matured. But I think it is a struggle that we will have to continue to endure if we want to stay together.
I believe my ex to be an ESTP and I would agree one of the last fights we got in was over communication- how we said and perceived the situation
Frank James to Kristen
I need this rn!!
My theory is that types with functions in the same order but opposite in the introvert/extrovert part work really well together. For example, many people say ENFJ and INFP work well together.
INFP: Fi, Ne, Si, Te
ENFJ: Fe, Ni, Se, Ti
And that is probably because of the fact that they can bring out the best out of each other while still having the same letters.
Yes! I second this! As an INFJ with an ENFP boyfriend, we are perfect for each other and we are:
INFJ = Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
ENFP = Ne, Fi, Te, Si
My theory on relationships are we gravitate to people who view compassion in the same way as us.
I am the subject of a contradicting case.
Would NOT recommend, yet we do not choose who we fall in love with
@@heikelouiseoberholzer I dont understand Helen. What I mean is that the people whom we end up in friendships with we view compassion the same, like people who think white lies are normal dont see lying as unforgivable. To them white lies are compassionate to each other vs. People who view honesty at all costs as compassionate and dont see honesty as hurting peoples feelings but truth that need to be told. I'm not really talking about bleeding hearts caring about animals or the environment but how we are compassionate to eachother on a day to day basis.
I know a married couple in a fantastic relationship who took the MBTI test for the first time many years into their marriage and discovered that they're both exactly the same type: INFJ. I guess it's because I've been influenced by the "opposites attract" thing, but I would not have expected that.
The test is pretty terrible, they most likely got mistyped.
I think opposites attract can be stupid. Like if you and your partner are completely opposite you have nothing in common and have nothing to do together. Like someone who loves books with someone who hates them. As opposed to two people who love books. Maybe it's a shitty example but it's what came to mind
@@furumetaru0232 That's not personality. You described interests and activities.
The example is: Two introverts will never talk to each other. Two Fi doms will never agree. Two Ne doms will never focus. Two Te doms will never think for themselves. Two Si doms will never leave the house. Etc.
The opposites attract thing is based on the idea that every couple needs to be able to operate in all modes. I don't find that to be true. It's much more important that people understand each other, because you're building a loving relationship, not a team to do a job.
@@basic-decaf okay I understand what your saying. Thats why for instance two istj types are not great for each other. I'm istj and I know that someone else like me would be a pain lol.
This is so accurate that it's scary! xD my three best friends are INFJ, ISTP and ESTP (I myself am an ENFJ). We think so often in same ways and have the same kind of humour :)
Gosh, so much Se, Ni, Ti and Fe! No wonder you get on well 😌
INFJ here.
The best conversations I've had like this. MY EXPERIENCE!!!
1) INTJ/INFJ (Deep understanding of each others)
2) ENFP (need that positive carefree energy)
3) ESFJ/ENFJ (my life coaches)
4) INFP (we are kind of similar but just too much of an overwhelming emotions)
5) ENTP/INTP (love discussions with them, but they overwhelm me with their energy and too much going into unimportant details)
6) ISFJ (they really care but they don't get me)
7) ENTJ (they motivate me to work and study only)
8) ESTP (good for outdoor activities when i have some energy, but their energy and "constantly ACTION" is overwhelming)
9) ISFP/ESFP i don't know any friends who are these types but I guess I would kind of get along with isfp
Struggling with ISTPs and ESTJ the most.
ISTPs too grumpy, ESTJs too bossy and control freaks.
I like how you emphasise the fact that we can all be compatible with hard and constant work.
About your theories: I’ll happily say that I agree with every single one of them! The first one I have two examples in which I have a very close look at - Me and my boyfriend (ENTJ-INTJ respectively) and my parents (ENFJ-INFJ).
The one about the trickster function… I had never thought about that before! It’s completely accurate. I believe it goes for the 8th function as well, since I don’t get along with Fe doms or aux most of the time 🤔.
What do you think?
Thanks for your input! Interestingly, I'm not sure about the 8th function because that would contradict my 5th theory of Se/Ne doms getting along so well. But I'm realising we just can't make blanket statements such as this, cause the function compatibility also depends heavily on whether the function is a juding or perceiving function. Maybe 1st & 8th judging functions would struggle more than 1st & 8th perceiving functions, and maybe even more specifically, extroverted judging functions rather than introverted (I know an ISTJ/INTJ couple who work really well together and this might be because their 1st and 8th judging functions are interior rather than exterior).
@@dearkristin I forgot to add that. I believe the 5th theory is on point. Must be because of what you said, extroverted functions end up being really “on your face” so I personally feel out of place when I have to adapt in order to make the conversation fluid and make sure I’m not screwing up. I personally make a lot of effort to talk to xxFJs, since I have no choice (both parents FJs and a lot of mates as well) but to “give in” and let the majority win.
I don’t believe Fe and Te doms get along naturally. At least I never did. Looking forward to read some Fe doms perspectives. I would like to see if I’m really biased on this one.
Thanks for replying, I could never think about the extroverted judging part myself. Your channel is beyond amazing, I laugh a lot with your videos, I hope we get to see more of your mind!
I’m also ENTJ and agree with you wholehearted! Fe users tend to drain me.
I (NTJ) find that INTJs and INTPs tend to get along fairly well, at least as friends.
As for the extroverted version of my type, I can't help but feel a mix of admiration and caution toward ENTJs. I mean, I absolutely admire their effectiveness and drive in seizing what they want, but I can't help but find them a bit haphazard in their pursuits and their behavior often makes me wonder things like: "Is that really what you want? (what you really, really want?)" Or, similarly, "Will that really be enough? Then what?" Or, "Have you really thought this through, Old Sport? Blind ambition may well be the end of you." Or, "Are the ends really worth the costs?" Or, "Something's off; you sure it's not a trap?" Or, "Congratulations! Now when exactly can I expect your sudden but inevitable betrayal?" Or even, "Will your ambitions be a threat to mine? Will are ambitions always be so compatible?"
this was very entertaining to read
-enfp
INTP was the worst to date as an INTJ. 5 years of wondering when the fuck they will get it together already
I agree with the one you said "people who share the same cognitive functions but in a different order can understand each other better". For example as an ENFP I am with an ESTJ. I think we can understand each other well and can learn from each other. Since what I do worse is what he does best, in terms of cognitive functions. I also find your theory about an ENFP understanding an INFP since my best friend is an INFP. We seem to value similar things and understand each other well. I will look out for other theories to see if they hold true, great video!
The second theory really caught my attention! I'm an ENFJ and my mother is an INFJ - usually we don't really get along. However, I know quite a few other INFJs that are some of my closest friends 🤔 I can kind of agree on theory three, but what leaves me a bit confused is that I can see myself getting along with an ENFP quite well actually! Love the video, thx! 💙
*All I know is an ENFP man has my heart and his cognitive functions mirror mine* , but are opposite in the introvert and extrovert parts. I’m an INFJ, we are:
INFJ = Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
ENFP = Ne, Fi, Te, Si
I swear he’s perfect for me. I absolutely adore his personality and he somehow finds mine appealing 😅 I think sharing NF as our top functions is really important too. We have our differences of course, but I think our relationship is a great match :)
Also I should add that I’m pretty confident I’m an INFJ, but years ago I used to always get INTJ as a result. I honestly feel like I’m right in the middle when it comes to thinking v. feeling, but I think that’s definitely more of an INFJ thing to think than an INTJ thing 😂 I’m definitely IN_J for sure though
As an ENTP,
One of my greatest friendships is with an ENTJ; we get along famously. They indulge my ideas and topics, and I satisfy their propensity for dealing with chaos(me). The trust in the relationship was also naturally occurring I think-no effort. As far as other types go, I am constantly drawn to persons that are very driven. The idea of someone (as long as they are interesting of course) also having their own things going on, just makes me want to see how much I can interject without throwing them off course. Even better if I can find that balance by a guess or with experimentation. After that, one of three things happen (the negative side of being an ENTP)-they can't handle the interactions between us, I find them terribly boring, or we fit together like strange puzzle pieces and the world still goes round the sun nicely.
As far as romance goes, I have gone a bit against the grain thus far. I can't help but be inexplicably enchanted by sensitive feeler types. What's going on in that strange emotional brain of yours? An unfortunate side effect of this interaction (musings of an ENTP) seems to be emotional bursts. I see the emotions, I understand what they mean (maybe not why they are present), but I just can't relate. A simple interaction on my side quickly turns into me saying "Oh...you're crying...hmm...it''ll be okay(?)...there there...(send help)..."
Your last paragraph made me laugh haha. I'm an INFJ in a relationship with an ENTP. On the last day of our holiday I was sobbing in our parked car and explained how sad I was to be returning from a lovely holiday and how this marked an epoch in our lives as we enter the adult world (we just graduated) and the next 'chapter' of our relationship. My boyfriend sat there listening then said ".... so many emotions...." then "You make me wonder if I'm a robot"
I totally get what you mean about being intrigued by the mysterious workings of each other's brain!! But that's what makes it so interesting and never boring.
I've always liked ESFPs as an ENFP because we share the same guide function and to be honest I'm a little Fi biased. I always get along with xxFP types and ESFPs being extraverted perceivers make them even more attractive. I'm happy that I've heard the same theory.❤❤
I am an ENFP and do date a lot of ISTJs, some ESTJs. I would say we do have very blunt conversations... Eventually. They seem to be some of the most intimidating people for me. Meaning I can't even open my mouth around them and rarely speak until I make it further into a relationship. Then yes I do find I can speak to them easily without worrying about offending or being misunderstood. On the other hand those relationships never seem to end well for me.
The type I have been most compatible with is INFJ, he has been my best friend and fiance and now unfortunately back to just best friend. We joke about soulmates but seriously he's like the other half of me. We do miscommunicate quite a bit and definitely have taken awhile to learn all of each others quirks but there has been a instant, constant connection since day 1. I've been able to be 100% myself from day one and always felt accept and actually liked instead of disdained for being an airhead or immature (I'm neither).
As an ISTJ I personally find it hard interacting extensively with Fe dom/aux people who expect everyone to use Fe. Funny enough, they act as if I don't have any morals but then they flock together to shame someone for being, as they call it, "selfish".
INTJ here, have definitely most struggled with Fe doms especially with their attempts to emotionally manipulate and shame me or others for not acting in the way they want. Though I realise it was mostly just due to back luck with encountering underdeveloped Fe types. I've come to really like mature Fe doms (especially ENFJs) the more I have developed my own Fi over the years
I'm ENFP and my sister is ISTP and we're best friends. But I really agree with your theory 3. We don't really understand each other so instead of trying we just accepted we're really different from each other.
As a Infp, my friends are: ISTJ's & ISFP's
I have difficulty getting along with:
ESTJ, but he does help me to become a better version of myself
I love my istp hubby of 24 years, I’m infp. It’s been very interesting. I give him lotsss of space and I get time to think deep deep thoughts. We have honest communication and laugh a lot about each other’s approach to life. 😂❤️
Loved this! It's very helpful and I need to look more into the order of the functions. As an ISFP, I've always been told people feel more comfortable to be themselves around me. Your explanation about F vs T also helped me realize what I've been missing when looking for potential partners! I'm tolerant of a lot of personalities and habits, but being considerate and compassionate of others is a must
Really nice comprehensive video. What I’ve noticed based on empirical evidence is that people sharing their judging functions more connected at a deeper level although sometimes there are communication problems whilst people that share the perceiving functions are like surface-level friends like classmates or community type social circle. Also in regards with accepting people that have different functions from yours i ve noticed you can sort of use two of your neighboring functions to sort of simulate and understand one you don’t have, for instance after developing little more my Fi (as an INTJ) my Te+Fi kinds started to behave like Fe if necessary.
I think theory #2 is spot on. I'm an INTJ and my best friend is an ESFP. We are very different, but we both completely understand and appreciate each other's behavior and language and unlike every other type I interact with I don't become socially exhausted interacting with him at all, which is unique since social interactions generally become very tiering for me, even with people who I am extremely close to. Also perhaps explains why I find your MBTI content the most enjoyable and interesting out of all the other MBTI youtubers.
BREAKING NEWS: First Video ever to say INFJs and ENFPs are less compatible :0
Right???!
2 pairings that I observe that get along very well:
- INFJ and ISTJ
- ENFJ and ISFJ
As an INTJ married to an ISFJ for 26 years, you are completely right, allowing your mate to be themselves, is the key. Even if I have no idea why or how to hone Fe, I know it’s important to my wife. And my wife gets my weird Ni tangents, Te interrogations (as my INFJ daughter calls it), and my Fi…. “Cuz I just like it” things. Well done, Kristen! Thanks for not saying what I always hear- INTJ’s and ISFJ just can’t work.
I’m an entp and my husband is infj I feel we are very compatible and have great communication most of this time. I do always have to be aware of stepping over the line and hurting his feelings easily when we “debate” which is really just me talking 😂. I think he also enjoys me pushing him to try new things.
Same here, except I'm the INTJ and he's the ENTP haha
oh my god the 2nd theory is so interesting. my bestfriend is an istj and as an infp who lives her head in the clouds she helps me so much in terms of keeping myself grounded and we complete each other well. i admit that sometimes its hard to communicate since talking abt abstract concepts is not really her thing and i get bored and frustrated sometimes but i believe we do help each other grow (unlike what most of the websites say on the internet)
also i agree with the 3rd theory, for example... my other friend is an infj and even though i love her she sometimes makes me question my own sanity. so scared of conflict yet always so judgy. she gets easily offended and im always left there, wondering what did i say or do wrong and she comes back after a while with a smile on her face like NOTHING happened at all and it scares me. i think it might be bcz of her Fe instincts and i find it quite hard to connect w people who dont speak their minds and shuts down for days instead of solving the problems. dont get me wrong it could be just an experience and i dont want to generalize anything but the lack of clarity is not for me.
btw great video!!!!
For authenticity, as an INTP, I get tired of people who express themselves in a seemingly exaggerated way. I'm not going to claim to have the Fe to know if it's inauthentic or not, but people making a big deal out of shallow traits, or just being loud, including "visually loud"... Aren't exactly my favourite types of people.
(INTP secret (or at least for me):
As for comparability, I think a big part of it is, are you more compatible with someone who views the world the way you do, or someone who compliments your way of viewing things?
A rough explanation, so the terms I use may not fit perfectly, but "generally," an extroverted function will want to engage in a more "shallow" way, moving quickly between things, whilst an introverted function will "generally" want to explore things in more depth.
As an example, if we take the T's, Te's will try to rapidly move through what works, but won't understand it fully, where as Ti will want to understand things fully, but won't explore as much. So, Te+Te compatibility will be about sharing exploration into quickly finding what works. Ti+Ti compatibility will be about sharing exploration into how things work. Te+Ti compatibility will be about Te finding things that work, that the Ti can spend time into understanding.
Obviously, it doesn't have to be limited to E/I pair functions, but that's the general gist of how I understand it.
Appreciate your thoughts on authenticity coming from you as an, INTP. Are you determining that the traits are shallow based on your Ti ? And what do you mean by visually loud? Do you mean emotional incontinence?
What is your thought process behind this?
I was wondering why Fi was associated with authenticity when I thought paying attention to authenticity was a universal thing.
Although, everyone has every function.
But, I was wondering why ISTP's were associated with authenticity, and your explanation, as an INTP, might give insight into that.
Although, with this typing stuff almost every type is associated with something, and then someone else will say it's another type that's associated with thing, and then another person will say it's another type that's associated with that thing.
I was thinking that ISTPs might be associated with authenticity because they were so focused on Fe being their inferior function so they might be flexing their Fe hard, while not necessarily being good with it. It's just they're very vocal about it.
And since I think the introverted and extroverted functions work together to inform each other, I figured that ISTPs would focus on developing their Fi authenticity, if authenticity was an Fi thing, to improve on their Fe to harmonize with others or because they were so focused on their Fe to harmonize with others, they get to developing their Fi, so they become so about authenticity.
Since you're a Ti- Dom and Fe inferior, what do you think?
If not that, then I was thinking the authenticity could come from past sensory experience in Si, so since Se is what draws ISTPs out of their introversion, and being that I think the introverted and extroverted functions work together, they're Si would come out in full force with their Se perceiving, and that's why they'd be associated with being big on authenticity.
And maybe ESTPs wouldn't get the authenticity meme like an ISTP since they live in the Se world, so they're more comfortable with the sensory whereas ISTPs are like "Look, if I got get out out of my comfortable introversion, I'm getting out hard!"
That's also combined with the knowledge that ESTPs have a higher preference for Fe, so they're more comfortable with Fe compared to ISTPs, so ISTPs are going hard with both their Se and Fe, which is informed by their Si and Fi.
Now, this could be a myopic focus of mine just going off of an ISTP meme, when, again, there's always someone associating a type with something, and someone could say nah, ENTJs are the real kings of authenticity.
And I appreciate your explanation for Ti and Te since I don't know my type, and I didn't know which thinking I had a preference for.
After reading your post, I think I prefer Ti.
Thanks for your time. Hope you have a great day!
@@JohnHenrysaysHi *Obviously all of this is just my vague understanding*
The deciding on what makes something "shallow" is a good question. It's hard to say which functions are behind it, but generally if there doesn't seem to be some greater intention beyond getting attention. Which is probably parent Ne, trying to figure out what's being achieved through what a person is doing, and what the result would be. I expect Ti must play a role in it sometimes, but whether Ne could at times determine it by itself, is hard to say.
For "visually loud" I was thinking more along the lines of peacocking. Being aggressively eye-catching, generally through bright colours, or weird fashion. Not sure if it's generally being an introvert, or child Si/trickster Se, but any form of "obnoxious" sensory can make it hard for me to be able to focus on anything else.
I think "authenticity" is highly confused in MBTI. I'm very comfortable being "authentic" in my (Ti) thoughts, and what I can (Ne) conceptualize. My (Si) experience is generally going to be in situations I'd need to be more comfortable in, or if I can back it with my Ti and/or Ne. I have also just walked away from things many times based off of a bad Si experience. When it comes to my (Fe) values, it's largely just letting people be, unless they're (Ne) going to cause serious problems.
It's hard to really know exactly what authenticity you're trying to figure out, so I'll just say what I've found. For me, a significant part of how I've been developing Fe/Fi is trying to (Ne) conceptualize what should be valued. It might be that ISTP's would gather (Se) real experiences to find what they believe they should take for their Fe/Fi values.
@@ReinhardMcKinky Thank you. Can you give specific examples to illustrated how you use your Ne to figure out what's being achieved?
I don't understand Ne so I would appreciate any of your thoughts on how Ne is used.
Thank you for your explanation on visually loud. I can understand anyone not liking anything obnoxious, but I appreciate your suggestions of how it could tie in with functions.
don't know if it's a taste issue, which isn't function related, but I appreciate visually loud colors. I also like high energy music pop music and nu-metal music, as long as the lyrics aren't blasphemous, profane, or vulgar, but I could understand if you didn't like the shallow nature of them.
Can you explain your interest in music? I'm sure it's different then mine. Do you look for something more, for lack of a better word, intellectually stimulating?
And do you pay attention to the music for what it is or are you thinking of how the music relates to something else?
One of my favorite songs to listen to recently is the Devil May Cry 3 song "Taste the Blood" where the lyrics are pretty much the same thing repeated over and over, but I like the simplicity of the takeaway message of the spiritual warfare in the song of getting over one's pride and wrath on a path to humility. But, I got through the song through listening to animated music video with a lot of flashy visuals and I think of them when listening to the song.
The animated music video is called "This Party's Getting Started" if you're interested. I also listen really liked Disturbed songs for similar reasons for the spiritual warfare takeaways but also having the visuals from the Dragon Ball and Wolverine music videos that I watched so I associate the lyrics with the characters and the narrative of those videos so I don't listen to something that will put my mind in a darker direction.
One of my favorite Disturbed songs currently is the song "Haunted" where one of the lyrics, and while listening to the song I'm thinking about how it ties into how people are struggling with thoughts of hatred while struggling with the darkness of the world.
But, I only listen to music to help me when I'm jogging for the energy. Or if it's something like an animated music video where I can focus on the characters such as with Dante from Devil May Cry 3, Wolverine from X-Men the Animated Series, and Goku from Dragon Ball.
And then when I listen to the music from those animated music videos, those songs will fire up a power fantasy of those characters in my head while jogging.
Is this kind of stuff completely foreign to you? At the very least, I can understand it being way to geeky.
Based on your posting style, you come across as a pretty cool guy so...I'm sorry. lol
Thank you so much for your post.
@@JohnHenrysaysHi That's kind of difficult to do, because Ne is intuition, and it tends to be sort of vague. I'll give an example in a second, but I think what high Ne users tend to do, is try to create sort of a simulation, which sometimes they use consciously, but also is used subconsciously. We compare how things are, could be, or should be, in relation to what we're experiencing, and get a rough sense of how we expect things might be, or might turn out.
Example: Let's say there's the standard scammer, who promises that they've made absurd money, and that you'll be able to become rich, but first you have to pay them to gain the knowledge to do so. Now either Se or Ne users should be able to figure out that if money isn't an issue for the scammer, then why ask for money? A high Se user would probably rely more on the direct contradictions in reality, where as a high Ne user would probably first notice that it doesn't make sense in comparison to their abstract understanding of things.
Hopefully that's close enough to understand.
I'm not against things being "shallow," just when it seems like someone is trying to "steal people's attention." Either they're generally trying to take attention from as many people around them as possible, or if they're doing it for a smaller amount of people, then everyone else just has to deal with it. I'm not trying to make it out to be egregious, just that with my cognitive stack, it's particularly annoying.
Actually, given I tend to want to be able to focus on the things I'm thinking of, I normally just listen to music I find to be enjoyable in a sensory way. And like I've been trying to convey, child Si/trickster Se can get a bit overwhelmed. A lot of the time it's game music.
That's definitely not foreign to me. I haven't personally played DMC, but I have listened to some DMC music, and did watch someone play through the first reboot game. Definitely listened to a fair bit of Disturbed. I've looked up "Wolverine tributes" for music that's fitting for him. And currently I'm listening to Friedrich Habetler's "Dragon Ball Super - Frieza's Theme / A Tyrant Revived! | Epic Rock Cover." I recently got interested in DB due to the music and memes. Mostly I've just seen the DBZ abridged series, and DBS. I probably don't visualize things as much as you do.
Not sure how much can be interpreted from some posts, but thanks.
@@ReinhardMcKinky Thank you for the high Se and Ne user example. I don't understand what you mean by abstract understanding of things. Could you please elaborate further or give another example?
Thanks on the shallow clarification. Not the shallow clarification. The clarification on being shallow. lol
Just pulled up the Friedrich Habetler's "Dragon Ball Super- Frieza's Theme". Neat.
I hope you like Dragon Ball! If you ever want to talk Dragon Ball, tag me! Or heck, if you just want to talk Dragon Ball now, I'm game.
Goku was my favorite fictional character. I didn't care for the direction after the Freeza arc, but I like being able to keep up with a franchise so I'll stick with it unless something gets nasty.
I took awhile to stop with the Simpsons. I saw an episode somewhere in the early 20 season where it said Homer cheated on Marge, and I then joined the elites in saying Simpsons Season 8 is it for the Simpsons.
Although, there's still some good scenes to watch on RUclips.
If you're interested, some of my favorite AMVs are the
Devil May Cry 3- This Party's Getting Started!
[Spider-man AMV]- It Has Begun
[Batman TAS AMV] Survivor
Wolverine Decadence by Direktor MK (and by "by" I mean channel name)
Metal Gear Solid- Holding Out for a Hero (HD Collection Edition)
[Wolverine AMV]- Cage the Beast
Maximum the Hormone "F" by Vegeta Super Saiyan Elite
Son Goku, The Super Saiyan [Dragon Ball Z WORKOUT MOTIVATION]
Dragon Ball Z adema- immortal by Lautaro Carimatti
Path to Redemption by JV Reborn
DBZ: System of a Down System of a Down- Chic 'n' Stu
Goku & Vegeta- I'm Alive by TearsOfAFallen Devil
As an ISFP, my INTJ sister and ENTJ sister and I share all our cognitive functions! Maybe that's why we all get along pretty well.
I am an INFP and my husband is ESTJ. So same first 4 functions, just in different order. We're the exaple of 'opposites attract'. (In how we act,not in MBTI). My weaknesses such as keeping the fridge filled, keeping the house cleaned,researching the best option before we buy, talking to strangers and remembering details are his strengths. My strengths such as keeping in touch with people we know, planning a full day, reading people or actually taking action are his weaknesses. At the same time we both have Ne and Te so we like discussing theorethical circumstances and we both have Fi and Si so we understand we each have strong inner values.
Of course there are frustrations and we do fight sometimes, but we can handle them.
I totally agree with your theories! While it is true that all types are compatible as long as they are healthy and communicate well, natural compatibility is undeniable. For example, I am (INTJ) romantically more drawn to ENTJs and other T types. I can’t really see myself with Fi or Fe doms. Fe is just so strange to me and it’s something I can never make sense of lol I’ve dated an ISFJ for 4 years and it was just so exhausting because we were just SO different. However, when it comes to friendships I’m friends with all types of people. My bff of 14 years is an INFJ and we really are a powerful duo, even though I think it’s more about being Ni doms than using Fe. Some of my other best friends include ENxPs, ESxJs and ESxPs.
What about INFPs ? Fi is weird too?
oh yeah and funnily enough, a large percentage of people I had crushes on are ISTPs. there's just something about them👀
but they were never mutual, most of them think I'm too scattered and dreamy
- ENFP
Okay first, this was a brave and well thought out video; very nicely done 👌
Second, I need to nitpick about something:
There are exceptions to the “people being drawn to genuine authentic people” rule, especially if it’s a genuinely “happy” rule.
For instance, say someone has a miserable chronic illness, and is unbearably lonely and depressed. They would still need to be able to function in every day life in order survive. No matter how hard they try, they would not be able to feel happy, or worth anyone’s friendship. Any potential friends are going to feel severely drained after hanging around them if that person is their true genuine self, leaving them more lonely and making things worse.
They would have to act content with their emotions for long enough to find a real friend or someone to talk to that can help, and make them less lonely. Then they wouldn’t have to put as much energy into acting okay. “Basically they would need to fake it till they make it” No one wants to be around people who complain all the time, but some people can stand to be around really quiet people.
In my life, I was never that bad off. I had family, and a few friends, but I never felt like I was worth anyone’s time. When I got to college I tried acting happier and more confident than I was, and eventually I stared to make some friends. It was a cool moment when I realized that some people were actually *choosing* to spend time with me, and that boosted my happiness and confidence greatly, and I didn’t have to fake as much, which then attracted more friends in a positive feedback loop sorta way.
Now I’m doing great and I love a lot of people, who actually tolerate the days where I still lack energy and feel insecure. It’s really cool to know that I have a lot of friends now who like me even though I’m not perfect, which also makes rejection from people who don’t know me a lot easier as well. I’m finding that being genuine happy seems to annoy some people, but fair enough I guess.
So all that is to say that being your genuine authentic self is the ideal state to be in, there are times when that just can’t be done, or probably should not be done. (Like with people who work customer service jobs, for example, would probably lose their jobs if they were authentic towards customers)
Thirdly, about the rest of the video:
I think my brain is too simple to fully understand the function/syntax concepts of theory #3 and on very well, but I fully agree with 1 and 2; I see that a lot.
I went out with a girl who I’m pretty sure was the extroverted version of my type, and we kind of burned too bright too quick that we kind of scared each other away. I’m over it now though… mostly. She probably would’ve gotten bored of me eventually anyway; I loved her energy, but it was really hard to match for extended periods of time.
Thank you for reading my non-proofread essay to whoever did. I need to go do my actual homework now. Have a nice day :)
I've seen quite a few mentions of ENFP INTP pairings in the mbti community(Ti trickster with Ti dominant) and as an INTP, I've found myself spending a lot of time with ENFPs. Idk if it is just me being drawn to ENFPs, or ENFPs approaching me, but most of my closest friends have always been ENFPs. Obviously, I could be an exception.
I - an ISTP - feel similar. I’m not sure about compatibility since I don’t have any close ENFP friends as far as I know. But I’ve always been drawn to xNFPs, INFPs in particular. There’s no actual trickster/dominant combination between ISTP and INFP but with ENFP there would be one in both directions.
I'm an ENFP married to an INTP (we've been together 9 years so far) and it's the BEST. Can't imagine being with any other person (and therefore type)!
I love how your mind works! - INTP -
And I love the INTP looks in your role-playing videos; the professor is the best. :) AND: My background in philosophy makes it a little hard for me to fully engage in this MBTI stuff. But it is really entertaining, and I admit, there is truth in it.
i wonder if kristin believes in the popular model that extroverts and people with the introverted version of their lead extroverted function are compatible. for ex. her and her istj roommate (Se and Si)
I've heard this theory and must say that I get along well with both ISTJs and ISFJs, but it's slightly easier for me to communicate with ISTJs, I think because they share two of my functions.
Okay wait but I literally struggle to get along with INTJs, I guess I get along with INFJs, tho, i guess that might be true tho
@@carolinemasson7172 What's your type?
@@hannapriskilla9815
Probably ENFP
@@specmoment3592 Yeah, probably that or ENTP. I get along well with my ENxP friends, but I suppose it's different for everyone.
You can't change someone else. That is absolutely true. The sooner people realize this, the sooner they can get along, learn to appreciate and accept each other and yes, even possibly love each other. I think that my wife might be an ISFP while I'm an INTJ with the Harmonizing variant. We've been married about 15 years now and get along really well. At first, it wasn't always so easy as we took some time to get to know and get used to each other's quirks, different ways of thinking etc. I'm very glad that she's not an extreme extrovert or SE dom as people like that drive me nuts. :) She does seem to cope with social situations better than I do though, so that is quite helpful at times. I'm also glad that she doesn't seem to enjoy arguing or debating things any more than I do. I've known so many couples where one spouse seems to love to argue while the other doesn't and the one who doesn't just seems miserable. Of course, that avoidance doesn't always work out well because on rare occasions, one or both of us will blurt out something that we've been repressing, so then we have to try to discuss it and deal with it. Fortunately, she isn't one who shouts or gets carried away with emotional outbursts when she argues, so as unpleasant as our rare arguments are for me, they could be worse.
She's said herself that in many ways, we compliment each other. My strengths are her weaknesses and vice versa.
Thats very funny. Im ISTJ and my wife is INFJ. So like you said probably less compatible. And it WAS a LOT of work to understand the communication style of the other one. Especially for her but now we are used to it ^^
I’m an INFJ; I married an ISTP, which has its challenges, but they are continually decreasing, especially after a decade together. I think we get each other, even if our interests don’t tend to align. It’s as you said, where we let each other be ourselves; we encourage each other to try things we might not otherwise, but without trying to fundamentally change each other. Having each other’s weakest functions as our own strongest is, I think, a huge aid to personal growth.
I tend to love being around other Fe users. I get along really well with ENFJs and ESFJs. Although, since they’re so enthusiastic, and obviously don’t want to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings, I often find myself questioning whether they really mean some of the things they say. Do they really like things as much as they say? For example, is “OMG! That painting/food you made/thing you did was SO AMAZING!” actually the equivalent of “it’s pretty good” from a less effusive person like myself? I don’t want to think so, but…I have trust issues. 😬 I do prefer honesty, even if it can be disappointing in the moment. (Admittedly, I have a hard time being completely honest if it might hurt someone’s feelings. I try to avoid saying anything then, or express my opinion honestly, but as nicely as I can.)
I think my sister is an ISFP; we were always close, she’s funny, and fun to be around, but we have clashed at times because our values haven’t always aligned. And I think accepting outside input is a fate worse than death to her, which often defies logic.
I have an ENFP friend whom I get along with well, and we can talk for hours, but I feel very drained after, and I need like a week alone for every day spent with her. 😅 And, she and other ENFPs I know tend to be very dramatic. So I think I would probably have a hard time with any type of live-in relationship with one.
I know several ISTJs, and with some of them, I often find myself internally wondering at their closed-mindedness toward things that are new or different; I don’t dislike them for it, and I can often understand their reasoning, I just don’t always agree, especially when they resist sound arguments. (But it’s not like they’re always like that.)
I used to have a negative view of ESFPs after I was hurt by one whom I was good friends with. But, I’ve gotten past that. We enjoyed each other’s company before it ended, despite our differences, and what happened was not a reflection of her personality type, but of her maturity level and mental health, I think. We both made mistakes. And anyway, you, Kristin, certainly seem like a lovely and fun person. 💕
Great video!! I like the fact you said it doesn't mean that just because someone doesn't share the same functions, it doesn't mean they'll be unable to get along. Just takes more time :). I personally subscribe to a 4 function model, but I definitely see the 7th function causing a problem for me lol. So I understand where that comes from. I fully agree that types with the same functions can get along really well with not much effort at all lol. I really, really enjoy spending time with ENFPs as an INFP, it's almost like talking to a mirror, except, they can help you with your forth function, and you can help them with theirs lol. My dad is ISTJ, we have a very similar sense of humour, and he can read my mind and I can read his lol. I also love spending time with NTJs and NTPs too. We have a real blast!
Interesting theories... I'm not sure about INTPs being particularly compatible with ESFJs though, me and my ESFJ mother and sister never really could relate or understand one another.
Ofc it might work out differently if it was a potential partner 🤷♀️
I think the people I feel the most compatible with (as of now) are ISTP, INTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, ENTP, INFP and other INTPs... I dont know the functions good enough to see any pattern in there though, it's just speaking from experience... 🤔
I totally agree I'm am INTP , I just don't like ESFJs.
On your second theory, I feel like I've heard of many instances where INTPs have very negative experiences with ESFJs (particularly when you bring in the archetype of "ESFJ mum suppressing the misunderstood INTP child"), so I wonder whether the variation in functions themselves contributes greater/lesser differences (e.g. is Fe more conflicting than Fi depending on order?). I'm loving your MBTI theory vids tho, very informative!
I think this sounds valid! My chats with people since releasing this video have been super informative and it seems that certain groups might indeed feel this compatibility more than others. It could totally be the Fi/Fe factor. I'd love to refine some of these theories and ask the community about them in greater detail!
I am an INTP with ISTJ dad. So yes many negative experiences. I would be fine with other personality types but, the fact the ISTJ is given power over me as my father makes it not work well.
Yep, had negative experiences with an ESFJ, was my sis though, not my mother, was still bad enough 😅
But with some ESFPs as well...
In my experiences Fe or Fi... is both problematic, if people do not reflect on their behaviour. It is to some extent less problematic in intuitive users though. And one can learn to get along better, but instant connection is usually with other INTPs (in some cases with INFPs). Never had any trouble with ENTJs or INTJs though, like some here described.
I have had both good and bad experiences with ESFJs. I think my grandma was one and she was the warmest, most loving person I have ever met. She was also one of the few people that made me feel comfortable enough to express my emotions in a time when my Fe had not yet entered the stage, so in my childhood and early teens. My ISFJ aunt comes second in regards to facilitating an environment where I’m comfortable to express my emotions, but it is not as effortless as it was with my grandmother.
The negative experiences I have made with an ESFJ (not 100% sure I got the type right, though) were with an extremely toxic person in my class who was very manipulative and even bragged to me once that she knew everyone‘s weaknesses which she could use to get what she wants. She also would use those weaknesses to very subtly bully certain classmates and yet, she was one of the most popular people in our year.
Healthy ESFJs are awesome, though ❤️ - INTP
@@janaretlow8699 Yeah, I think ESFJ/INTP relationships can be very hit or miss. I'm fortunate enough to have an INTP best friend. We do clash on some things -- I'm hellbent on feeding my Fe via smothering gift-giving and she's even more hellbent on rejecting any presents. However her TiNe brain inspires so much awe in me when I see it at work and it makes me want to develop my functions. I think when a good relationship forms between opposing types, it can really benefit both parties (i.e. your accessing of Fe and mine with Ti)!
I have always believed that the introverted and extroverted functions are compatible. For me as an INTP i like to say what i think(Ti), if i have a partner that has(Te) she likes to listen what i have to think about it, but if i have a partner with Ti she will listen to what she thinks. Were trying to take each others place.
It is the same with the other functions like Si and Se. People with Si need there partner to make them comfortable but there partner with has low Se which means there bad at it making people comfortable.
I haven't experienced this personally but I've heard about some sort of synergistic relationship between INTJ and INTP, which apparently makes them click and get along very well. Even saw a breaking bad meme about it in the mbti community.
Lol. Not that what you’re saying isn’t true, but you’re straight up preaching Fi self love and authenticity here, as the key to allowing compatibility to Te work for everyone. Quite the ExFP solution! (I agree with it, I’m just having a chuckle)
Well, reading some of the comments and having agreed with you Kristin at the most part, I can say maybe compatibility should be defined in particular contexts. Like, you may be compatible with a person in your working environment but not in a friendly one or be compatible with a person in a friendly environment but not a romantic one. Because you need "different types" of compatibility for each circumstance. That's my personal experience and point of view of course. I hope I'm getting understood, haha.
Thank you for the video, it was very interesting once again. Take care 😊
I'm an INFJ and I find I get along best with INxx types. I enjoy connecting on emotional topics with INFs and I also like being more intellectual with INTs. I don't connect with other types nearly as well as I do with INs. I don't think cognitive functions matter as much as differences in the traits, for example even though INFPs have totally different functions than INFJs they generally get along well together because they both are INFs
I’m an isfp and my girlfriend is a istj.. before we where together it was a lot of her fallowing me around and watching me creepily with this blank scary stare, and she’d constantly pick my brain apart, feed me alcohol to get me talking, like every single red flag and none of them went off. The more I got to know her the more I just idk (might have been her making me feel this on purpose) I started to find myself coming to her for everything, and her being the only person I really trusted enough to say more than one or two words to. No matter how much I change or what happens she’s the one constant in my life and I appreciate her infinitely, that and her little ocd habits are absolutely adorable and I haven’t met a single person remotely like her, she’s so weird in this admirable way, I don’t mean to sound shallow but she’s just got a quirk for fucking everything. Infinite entertainment. We’ve been together 5 years since I was 14. Also her belief system is flawless, she doesn’t just adopt other people’s beliefs, and she has helped me compose myself in numerous ways, and she’s the reason I even understand my own beliefs and know how to actually uphold them in a meaningful way. We walk by and you’ll here us casually debating social issues or random shit, and you’d think we where arguing but in reality we have a lot of fun talking like that. She legitimately doesn’t hurt my feelings because I know her intentions. And her feelings never get hurt because she knows mine.
Aww this was absolutely adorable. My INFJ heart just blooms up reading stuff like this. I'm so happy for you both🥺❤
both your types are so underrated in the mbti community. my ISFP best friend gives the absolute best advice and they're actually younger than me. you wouldn't believe it if you see us lol
- ENFP
tell us more about her quirks! i'd love to get personal examples of the istj. also, has there been some struggles between you?
- isfp
@@larsswig912 I find myself giving advice a LOT, and most of the time it stems from me seeing how people somehow don’t think it’s okay to be a little selfish at times… usually in one way or another, it’s me telling people to value freedom and believe not in something that will help them escape, but to believe in themselves and change things. Like, you have the right, to do whatever you want lol… and I’m not afraid to get into people’s business if it means making another person free from the illusion of multiple choice (sorry that got long and complicated)
@@larsswig912
U would be surprised but that's exactly the case with me as well!
I'm an ISFP and my best friend's an ENFP and I'm also younger to her 😂...but honestly I really really appreciate u ENFPs a lot. I just feel so comfortable around my friend, she's like the first person in my whole of life with whom I've ever been that open and comfortable with. She just accepts me wholeheartedly with whatever I am without exactly judging me tho at times I do feel she criticises me for some of my flaws but it's always in a more joking manner and I would ultimately just get over it.
U ENFP guys r amazing!!!
The Fi is really strong in this video. You have explained your theory very well and it is an interesting topic to cover. I am INTP and my lovely wife is ESFJ. When I had (finally) convinced her to take the Keirsey temperament sorter, I was a bit startled by her results first. ESFJ?! That is my exact opposite! Later on I have discovered that we are not exact opposites. We complement each other, because we share the same 4 cognitive functions (function stack) but in opposite order.
True
Alter egos complement us whereas super egos(ISFP for you) are highly non compatible.
I am an INTJ. I believe my late wife was an ENTJ. Definitely lead with Te and I am pretty certain she was not an ESTJ. I don't think I could be married to an ESTJ. My wife and I complimented one another beautifully and we felt like a "power couple". We could truly be around one another non-stop. That was the way we preferred it. As close to perfect as I can imagine.
I’m an INTP and I really feel drawn towards Fi
I consider myself a more emotional INTP than the stereotype and I honestly love talking to others about their own personal beliefs and discovering who they really are and can be
That’s why I tend to seek out to my INFP, ENFP and ESFP friends for emotional support
So true. INFP's are magical to this I/E NTP. Too bad they struggle with mental health issues.
@@m2pozad Not this INFP lol :)
@@lbell9695 Female, per chance? That would be a first in my experience.
@@m2pozad Yep, I'm a female. I would attribute it to having a supportive family and having a strong identity and a strong sense of belonging, making me assertive and confident in my skin. Yeah sure I get anxious and shy at times but most people would mistake me for an extrovert in the beginning because I'm chatty and bubbly when I want to be. (I guess I'm good at faking it til you make it). Obviously as an introvert, as time progresses, my energy feels drained and I become a lot more quieter. But yeah there is a large difference from being anxious and actually having a prescribed anxiety disorder. So whilst I feel some sense of anxiety in relation to communicating with other people occasionally for instance, it's so mild that it's not really much of a problem.
@@lbell9695 WoW! So it is possible! Too many questions...
And You don't possess, 'The Swan who thinks it's a duck', struggle?
Actually now that I've read more, have you ever tested as something other than INFP?
Good thoughts!
I'm an ENFJ - I dated an INFJ and honestly, it was so easy for us to get along, but eventually it got tiring. We both spent so much time overthinking.
I think I'm naturally most drawn to INFPs - they value feelings but my Fe gets to look after their Fi; plus, they have such incredible and amazing thoughts and ideas which my Ni positively SOAKS up!
I need an Ne user who's well rounded though - if they can't put their mug in the dishwasher, forget about it. 😜
It must be the 12 year long relationship with my INFP best friend, (I'm an ENTP.) but I think I've gotten used to Fi being a part of my life even if I don't particularly value it. Thanks, bestie!
I really like your videos, and this one is no exception, Kristin!
I must, however, vehemently disagree with your opinion that all types are compatible on the basis of everyone valuing authenticity. I first turned to MBTI as a means of understanding why I could not get along with my Mum. I’m a true blue INTJ, and my Mum an ISFJ.
As an INTJ I am fundamentally about change. I always look forward to the future, and look to change or even break systems in order to produce better outcomes for everyone. My ISFJ mum is inherently about keeping stability, harmony, peace. She looks back on the past and is always about resisting change. As you might imagine, this is a source of much of the conflict between us. An example would be how I left my home country to pursue an overseas education, and the main obstacle in my way was her.
This is an ineradicable, fundamental difference that no amount of authenticity can bridge. In fact, us being our authentic selves is precisely what brings about conflict in the first place,
And this is not even to mention the chasm in the way we communicate. Intuitive vs Sensing. My ISFJ Mum can talk endlessly on which shop offers cheaper products, what the products are, which new shops have opened, this person said this, this person did that… My INTJ brain can’t be arsed to listen to these seemingly superfluous details. All I care about is a big picture. This is a question of personal interest, for which again no amount of authenticity can bridge.
Perhaps your advice is meant to uplift people, but that’s certainly not true in my case. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in a situation like this. Any advice more specific to the details of my situation would be greatly appreciated!
Hello and thank you for your comment! Ah yes, this is a classic SJ/NT dilemma. What you describe is indeed problematic when you don't understand what drives the other. This must be highly frustrating!
To elaborate, my point is that in using MBTI as a tool for understanding, we can be ourselves whilst understanding how fundamentally different the other is. So an SJ would learn to appreciate an NTs desire to see the bigger picture, even if the SJ doesn't care to do so. If the SJ understands that this is what gives the NT life, the SJ can uplift the NT in this pursuit, whilst not necessarily "joining in" on it themselves. This will make the NT feel more understood, and increase the NTs ability to listen to the "superficial" SJ chatter, understanding that that gives the SJ life. And through understanding each other, and feeling loved by the other, they can uplift each other in their respective positions, whilst understanding that the other person will likely never show the same enthusiasm as they do. Then you can say things such as, "wow, I feel hurt and don't understand why this person needs to leave me to go overseas, but I respect their autonomy, their personal process and know that this is something they need to do, for whatever reason, and so I'll uplift them in that", rather than stifling it.
So you see, without endeavouring to understand the other, and only focusing on the self, we lower our chances of being compatible with others. But with understanding, we can learn to get along with many more people, and support them in whatever their heart/mind desires (provided it's healthy etc). Hope this makes my thoughts clearer!
I must say, I’m really impressed that you not only read, but also gave such detailed response to my reply, and so quickly at that! It says a lot about you as a person :)
That is a well-thought through response, and honestly that has helped me gain some perspective on my situation. You’ve earned my subscription! :)
@@lardmaster4349 aww awesome, thank you!! 😁
Hi Kristin -
First: Sorry you’re back in lockdown☹️
Second: Happy for the videos😃
Third: Amazed you can keep all the letters straight when talking about so many MBTI types! 🤪 As usual, another excellent video!
It's interesting because I can see your theory #3 playing out with my INFP brother and INFJ mother. I understand both of them, but they have constant miscommunications. However, my brother dated an INFJ for a while and it was kind of ok. So I tend to think we spend more effort on understanding the relationships we choose and can get more impatient in regards to family. XD
This just reminded me to be more open to my ENTP partner's Ne. *takes deep breath in ISFJ* *whispers* change is good, change is good, change is good.... 😂
You're absolutely right. I'm INFP and besides having an affinity for xxFPs, I find myself staying with anyone who seems genuine. I don't care about Fi and Fe or other functions as long as the person is true to themselves. I have INFJ, ISFJ, INTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ, ENTP friends and they are obviously different but the match works.
I’m an ENFJ and my most favorite and closest people in my life all happen to be INFJs so theory #1 has proven correct in my life! Love me some INFJs I feel like we understand each other very well and can have really great in depth Ni conversations especially creative or problem-solving related things
Hi! I love your videos! They are pretty accurate but also hilarious. Keep up the great content!
The cognitive functions are attracted to each other. Fi and Fe. Ti and Te. Ni and Ne. Si and Se. Is compatibility. Like a key and a lock. But there is camaraderie, so a bunch of keys hanging out together. That'd be like INFPs and ENFPs vibing.
For long term optimal romantic relationships go for compatibility.
Taking other obvious points like development and values into consideration for the highest chances of success.
Yes I've also heard this. Is there any evidence/source for this?
This is such a good video for helping us to all get along better; you summarized everything so well, as usual.
I actually also theorized a lot of the same theories.
I have to say I think my function line group does tend to be easier as a whole in general than the other types for communication with me.
And the group that I share no functions with, as a whole... I would say generally is the most difficult in communication understanding.
I live with an INFP... and we talk to each other quite a lot, connect easily, love each other's company, and get along super well, but we almost always have moments where our communication gets really confusing. We really just can't understand what each other is saying sometimes or understand the other's logic. And this is so with the other types of that function group. But I would say that it very rarely happens with my mirror function type.
I've found it to get a lot easier when I learned about MBTI and started to really appreciate those differences as strengths. And now I think I can also get along pretty well generally with most personalities and appreciate them when they are being themselves....
If any of what I said even made sense.😅
Lady estp here, great vid! I tend to like/have friendships with most types but seem to prefer shared functions and feelers (I have more female friends though too). Having Se or Ti in their stack somewhere really does make it easier, INFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, INTJ are all easy friends. Less easy friends are ENFJ, ISFP, ESTJ, ESFP's. Love/hate = ENTP, ENFP, ESFJ. INFP & ISTJ = ugh, I don't get you. I don't know if I know any INTP or ENTJ's. I've dated too many ENTP's...NEVER again, lol! Cheers!
This video is old but glad I found it. As an INTP, I’ve noticed I have a lot of trouble with Ni’s and Se’s and that fits your hypothesis.
Hey Kristin ! I think a funny and interesting video that you could make is "Each extroverted type dating the introverted type" Entp & intp, istj & estj etc. ! Thanks for your awsome work you really make my day when I watch one of your
Video * :)
I absolutely agree with you about how compatibility is not necessarily decided by types. Sometimes compatibility is decided by commonality of interests, hobbies, world views, values and goals in life. Mbti helps us to understand each other at a cognitive level and could definitely complement compatibility.
But attraction on other hand I feel has a bit to do with mbti types. In my experience, I have been attracted to certain types more than the others irrespective of whether they were compatible or not.
Also, the trickster theory makes more sense to me because as an infj, I have never been that interested in estj, entj who are Te doms but Te aux(intj, istj) could be potentially interesting especially intj since we have shared Ni. Again, these are my personal experiences with the types.
On a side note, I do think that dominant or auxiliary extraverted functions and introverted functions work well. For instance, Ne dom can find Ni dom or Fe aux or Te aux attractive. Not sure if it applies to every type.
Thank you for such a wonderful video! Greatly enjoyed it. ❤️ Can’t wait for the next one!
Hey there ! Thanks for this video, very interesting, though i have quite a different experience.
As an INTP, I don't particularily feel i connect well with types that share my functions in a different order. I particular, I think ESFJ is the type I have the most difficulties interacting with.
And actually, I think that types with all functions different to mine can work really well. I was in a relationship for 15 years with an INTJ and we still are great friends, communication was always super easy, and just different enough to be interesting and challenging.
And now i'm in a relationship with an ISFP and we have a great connection even though i must say it's a bit less obvious. I think Ne ans Se tend to resonate well (just as you explain in the video), and even though our judging functions are different, I think they complement each other well, kind of helping with our respective shortcomings.
So, I don't concur to the trickster theory, because my trickster function would precisely be Se. I don't think my relationship with Se is tense, rather that I tend not to be very aware of it (I tend to feel disconnected with the tangible world), and being with someone who's very much in the moment is very healthy for me.
Rather than the trickster function, I rather think it's my inferior function that is less "attractive" to me. People with Fe as dominant or auxilliary tend to stress me out, I really feel it's triggering something too sensitive in me.
So there it is, that's just my experience, thanks for sharing your theories, i love your videos !
Kristin, you have such a cute and contagious smile 🥺
I've noticed your theories to be correct in my life too! I'm an INTJ and I think you and I would get along in real life. Also, I know that I would work well with an ENTJ. And I once had an INTP assistant in the past and I remember that I secretly wanted to fire her every day :(
I definitely think part of these compatibilities are based on how well developed your and your partner's functions are. If you have developed your 4 functions, then maybe the mirror type would be most appealing as their function order is your shadow function order. While you may be more naturally drawn to others of your quadrant, being close with an undeveloped type in that category can be either draining or potentially harmful to your development as they may stagnate your growth (of course it depends on the person). I've personally found having relationships with well developed people with completely different functions to me has been one of the best ways I have personally grown/matured
This feels so true for me. As an INTJ, I have never been able to communicate with any of the INTPs I know without feeling some weird misunderstanding/insecurity. Meanwhile, my closest friendships are with ESFPs and ISFPs.
To your 'trickster' function theory, my experience holds partially true. I am a particularly empathetic INTJ, but I have a hard time communicating with people who place their values over logic (i.e. my INFJ friend who expresses wanting to do something that seems like an illogical idea but does it 'because it sounds fun.') I find it very frustrating and exhausting to talk to her when she goes on about her bad spending habits 😂
Maybe the INFJ friend is unhealthy. I don't see a healthy INFJ putting Fun over Logic... an ENFJ might be easily pulled to do that though. But all of the healthy INFJ's I know value Logic over doing something just because it sounds fun. Though it may be a misunderstanding between Te logic and Ti logic.
#3 I think is off. INTP & INTJ can work quite well, because we compliment each other, usually coming to similar conclusion through different means. Might be conditionally true if other incompatibilities add.
I'm an ENTJ and my gf is an ISFJ. So this is really the worst match for me haha? We are still going strong after 8 years of relationship, but it is a battle. The effort is huge to understand each other and not get in a fight every day.
7:19 I'm an ENFP and I tend to gain a lot of energy when talking to my INFP friend which I believe is the same for the other person as well
P.S. It's the same with my INTP friend just that it might be a bit harder to communicate sometimes
THOROUGHLY appreciated this video. Very insightful and encouraging,Kristin 😌🙌🙌🙌
Great Video Kristin, as always. I love the use of agape, pun definitely intended.
Also, as an INTJ, I find myself enjoying being around ESFPs, ISFPs and ENTJs quite a lot. However, there’s certainly rough patches with one person I know who’s ISFP, probably because of our work dynamic if anything.
Anyway, great stuff. I appreciate everything you’re doing.
umm i think i have something to add to the 4th theory, about the trickster functions.
when the trickster function is a judging one, the types are incompatible, because they dont understand each other's decisions
BUT when the trickster function is a percieving one, theyre even more compatible because they show each other new ways of seeing things. granted, they have to be open-minded and healthy overall (not have huge egos) to let anyone teach them their viewpoint. this is coming from the most Si blind ENTJ. even before i knew MBTI, i always built teams with high Si individuals and i think its best, because i have huge problems(with memory and forgetting to eat/sleep mainly), which are more easily solved with Si users around.
Thank you for presentig your theories on compatibility. I like to observe how differently people of different personality types approach this topic. Personally I think who the right person is depends on a persons needs. Some need emotional compassion, some need a deep brain to brain connection, some need a functioning practical partnership, and others just need someone to have endless careless fun together.
As an idealist I care about shared moral values. And I need emotional warmth and closeness.
Of course mbti doesn't forbid to pair up with a partner who can't fulfill any of your needs and ice versa, buuuuut. Think again - maybe^^
INFP here.
I don't know about romance as I've never been in any romantic relationships, but friendship-wise I've got some strong friends in an ESTJ and an ISTJ. I've also got a great friendship with an ESFP, an ENTP and two INTPs as well.