One big problem - parents don't wanna chauffeur their kids to the friend places.. I have watched my kiddos friend lose other friends over the years because their parents just won't bring them to meet up it's always on the other parent. If I didn't foster that friendship it would peeter out. I think we need to teach our kids how to not only make friends but sustain friendships
Facts! After almost 12 years of homeschooling, this is so true. Our kids are well socialized, but to build community and make friends you need a consistent group of people that you interact with regularly throughout the year. This is also true in life. Long-term commitments are needed to build relationships with people.
I agree. We're experiencing this with our son. I left my job in public school system to homeschool our son for 5 years. When I went back to work last year, I enrolled him in our district's virtual school, so my parents could monitor him while we were at work. Although he socialized in virtual school, it was difficult to forge friendships. I'm on the verge of enrolling him in the public school where I work, but it's the hardest thing to do. We accomplished a lot in homeschool. At 16 months, he was reading at a 1st grade level. I'm really scared that all the gains he's made will be jeprodized in the public school system. It was easy for us at home because he was my only student and we had no distractions. However, it's really difficult for teachers with 20 plus students (in a Title 1 school) to tailor instruction to adequately meet each child's needs.
Not me sitting here enjoying your in depth video about homeschooling, while not even having a child at all!!😂🤣 I absolutely love your videos, you are so well spoken and voice is so pleasant to listen to.
Yes! Church has been a big help for us. Our church just so happens to be full of homeschool families so there is a co-op there as well. We are building amazing friendships.
I have watched my wife become the driving force to create community in our area. This has, unfortunately, placed a strain on her as she attempts to build an ecosystem that our child can benefit from. She never gets to show up and participate at events: instead, she is forced to facilitate. Adults form groups for homeschool kids in our area, open them to other families, but maintain exclusive activities that make new families feel excluded. Finding another job in a community that embraces diversity is currently one of my highest priorities so that both my wife and daughter can find a healthy community to build relationships in.
@@auemmjee Actually, no. I tried very hard and just couldn't find people I could relate to, I was friendly towards everyone, but couldn't really connect. I am mostly the same way now, I have about 2-3 close friends and my mom and sister are my closest friends and confidants.
... Reasons I run a homeschool program. Pre-teens and teens need a tribe. I have an academic and theatre program and parents can pick and choose what the kids participate in. Our programs run full year, and I have had several students to ask for summer events because they didn't want the school year to end. We keep the group small and the kids tend to bond extremely well. It takes a lot of planning and organization for it to work. My own kids had a similar experience and at nearly 30, they have life-long friends through homeschooling.
@@bmylove4444 As Akeeba said, you need to be very intentional about helping your kids find a friend group. It's not going to happen organically. A "Homeschool-school" is one way of doing this. You have to choose carefully, making sure the people in the group have similar values and that the kids are not being bullies and forming cliques. This is why I started a small homeschool program 5 years ago near Atlanta. We started out as a history program, but now offer a full course and Theatre. We also have long breaks between classes so kids can hang out and collaborate. My program is a not-for-profit. You won't get rich doing this, but for me, it is my service to the homeschool community.
Reading this made me goosebumps. This sounds so amazing and SO needed. Not all kids love sports! Some kids are natural theater kids! Good for you and thank you for thinking of the olders
Idk!! My children are 50/50 with this. When they go out to either socialize with other children or “make friends” they always come back with a story pertaining to bullying or kids wanting to play with my children except for my special needs daughter or make her feel inadequate because she is different. I think if children were raised to be more kinder to other children and not be the little mini me bullies of their parents then children of all backgrounds wouldn’t have a problem making friends let alone socializing. I allow my children to learn how to feel out the energy of other children and if they want to socialize or make friends I allow them the space to do that. However, if my children feel there is unfair treatment, bullying etc. going on then they know to separate and play amongst themselves. I don’t force my children to “have friends” just because society says so. Especially considering how cruel and nasty some children can be! This is just from my point of view 👀👍🏾
Being around hundreds if not thousands of other children five days a week is a different opportunity to naturally find friends. But mean people are a part of life and your kid will encounter people who don't like them once they're an adult.
I love this video. It's definitely not unique to the homeschooling community though, because I didn't really have friends in school. My mom had to do the same things even though we went to public school. Lol
My children are in virtual school, which is pretty rigorous might I add. I take them to parks to play with other children. Sometimes they have fun, other times children are mean to them and it hurts their feelings. I teach them that in life family is what matters MOST. Anyone extra is just extra, but as long as you have eachother then you are blessed. 🤷🏿♀️
I can see this. We’ve been homeschooling for 11 years now. My oldest graduates next year. I’m thankful we’ve been a part of the same co op (with over 200 kids…it’s like a small school) for 9 years. They’ve grown up with their same friends. When I was a kid, I moved every 2 years. I’m so thankful we’ve been able to keep our kids around the same kids the entire time they’ve grown up. And bonus, their moms are my friends and I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve developed from it ❤️
Friendship requires work no matter what age or situation in life you are in. Homeschooling doesn't necessarily create a friendless culture. This is a good reminder to work on our friendships and develop them both for our children and ourselves.
Also, friendships are naturally formed. You can't force friendships. Many are not authentic. People are just not closely bonded as they were we we grew up in the late 60s or early 70s. Truth be told, people are fake and sometimes mean spirited. Mean children, bullies grow up to be the same as adults. One only has to look at what's taking place in politics at the White House, i.e., MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, as well as many of our workplaces to find examples. I'll pray for the kids who really yearn those frienships to really one day find genuine friendships.
I have been very active about helping our daughters build friendships. One way is homeschool classes, homeschool co-ops, and public spaces (park, library, etc) will kids gather during day time hours before schools let out so you can meet homeschool kids. =) Church is also a great place. Seeking out other moms who homeschool as well at church. By God's grace, we have five families that we have become friends with. One family recently moved, so we lost 4 kids there. But we still have a pretty large group of about 10 kids with my kids (2) included. My oldest made her own friendship without me this year!!! I was so proud of her. She asked the girl for her number, etc They took a homeschool swim class.
I blame "a la carte" this and that. So many parents are going back and forth from activity to activity. My child was frustrated that after choir NOBODY hung out because they were "off to their next activity." Therefore, I started a tutorial with my sister to foster that opportunity because it was REGULAR meeting each week in addition to meet ups throughout the week. We're at the point now where some parents from the group are hosting things at their houses too. Sure, we want to learn. . .BUT, our main goal is to foster friendships and community. My kids can play with anyone at the park, but they can't guarantee they will ever see each other again.
Facts. I lived in South Florida and my children "socialized" but never made friends. Now, I live in the islands with very few homeschool families (hardly any black ones). My children crave friendship. My girls are now in Girl Scouts and in the Fall, they'll go to public school so they can have more opportunities which aren't available here for home schoolers. It's a tough road for homeschool families.
so true and yes! Church and basketball team, and Taekwondo has been a constant in our home, even though our child was in all these prior to being homeschool.
One thing that I don’t like about the homeschool community is that amongst the parents it can be very cliquey. I’ve been to a group as a newbie and my son loved it but after week the so-called friendly parents went back to their usual cliquey groups and were no longer as friendly.
I've been homeschooling and it's been difficult for my child to make friends since the area we lived in had nothing good for children to do. Now that we moved to a better area there's more for children to do. Now there's a greater opportunity to make friends.
You have to put extra effort into this when you homeschool. I went out of my way to foster friendships for my 3 boys when I saw they connected with someone. I’d go out of my way to invite their friend to come join us on outings/ activities (and I’d cover their costs if any)… I’d drive long distances to make sure they could hang out regularly. It was a lot of time and effort.. but it was so important and really helped them to feel satisfied socially and have quality friends. I homeschooled 3 boys from the start til High School. This is definitely an important aspect of homeschool that the community does make light of too often. I didn’t always fit in with other homeschool parents either… we had to be vigilant and try to branch out with different opportunities so we could find the right connections.
Thank you for being HONEST and addressing this issue! I was bamboozled and hoodwinked! I attempted to homeschool for 3 years. We did Co-ops, Tutorials, events. My only child daughter age 7,8,9 was sooo sad & lonely. It didn’t help that it happened around the time of the pandemic. I put my daughter back in school so she could be around lots of peers to choose from to have friendships with.
This was a refreshing video since people that homeschool swear up and down they have no issues socializing their children. My kids go to public school and are at an age where they are learning the different interactions they will encounter in life. Everyone will not want to be their friend and they are learning how to navigate through that. I think it’s Important to try to interact with different types of people. Thanks for sharing your take on this.
Thank you! As a future homeschooling mom of 2 kiddos I was definitely under the idealized bubble that various classes, sports classes are enough "social" exposure to make friends.. your advice is so practical and definitely a much needed reality check 😅
💯 thank you for speaking on it! Since transitioning to homeschooling in 2020, my 4 kids have been each others besties. I love that but some of their personalities craved outside friendships. We were no longer at that “schedule play dates” season of life so old friends fell off and I was discouraged we hadn’t found a homeschool community yet. It wasn’t until we got very consistent and involved at our place of worship & my older 2 went to summer camp at church that they found friends, eventually we connected with another family at church who happened to homeschool as well & our kids became friends with hers. That led to joining a small homeschool group where regular field trips became another point for meetups with friends in addition to church once or twice a week. And while we don’t do sports teams right now, we have been in a homeschool tennis program through the city’s parks & rec department and most of the kids that go are the same kids each semester and through that repetition, they’ve made more friends. I’m still trying to find moms I vibe with but I see the progress and will continue to press on keeping your tips in mind.
Have you looked into Trail Life and the American Heritage girls? They are a faith-based group that encourages teamwork, social skills and serving the community.
Love this video! We are in the process of moving and I’m so stressed about starting all over again when it comes to finding socialization for our kids. In our old town we knew of 13 other families that were homeschooling, but getting most of them to socialize was like pulling teeth! We had a weekly meet up and only 3 families were coming consistently, the rest popped in a couple times a year if we were lucky. If it wasn’t for teams, clubs, and library events, my kids would have been so lonely. I’m praying that the new town we’re moving to has more opportunities and willing families.
I was homeschooled and my 2 best friends growing up were not. We met in 4-h, and my parents just drove me to their houses on evening and weekends, and we had lots of 4-H things we did together. Real friendships work better when there are shared interests. My siblings were all much much older than me so that was another reason i chose to have a large family. Im homeschooling my 7 kids now all 12 and under. Friends are great but being close friends with your own siblings is amazing❤ our co-op also has lots of kids they see every week all year long and moms stay at co-op so we get to be good friends with the other moms.
I think this is an important comment. I understand if people want to mix with "their own" or keep with other homeschoolers but there's an opportunity to create friendships with public schooled kids as well.
Our kids were home schooled. They have some of the best friendships. They are intelligent, respectful, hardworking, and best of all they are born again Christians! They understand there is only two genders, male and female. They don’t drink, they don’t do drugs, they help others without expecting anything in return. I was blessed to be able to let my wife stay home and homeschool our children. The best decision we ever made. Our kids also agree after seeing how most of these public school kids act and present themselves in public and treat others nowadays.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. So true! I really appreciate that this wasn’t a video bashing the problem, but rather offering solutions to parents who already know what isn’t working. Yes, we did dance, swim lessons, and “co-op” type classes. Never once was a friend made in these activities. But the more time we spend at this same church, the better I see her relationships with the same kids. I will say that doing random church VBS events without the church experience also isn’t going to work.
Akeeba, all of my three children are grown and were never homeschooled. But I watch your content because I found out about you through your sister Alana. And I enjoy watching and listening to your content because you are very wise and knowledgeable about education, and I really like that about you. Annddd, I love watching and listening to your very intelligent young ladies🥰
This is exactly what I was thinking! I'm so glad you confirmed the thoughts I was having and didn't have the full words to say. Our church friend's (as God showed me in my personal life) have been our family....and have become the more sustainable relationships. The boundaries are also great too. And having a small group within the church. Taking our child with me to functions...even business events for myself, she's going to learn more that way as well. 💜✅🥰
Your daughter needs a playmate. These so-called "Friends" come and go, so, can we really call them friends? Friends will always be there for you no matter what. You can count your friends on one hand. Truth be told. Keep her head in the books.
@@DivinityKa relationship doesn't have to last forever for it to be a relationship.... that's some really bizarre thinking. Most marriages don't last either. My guess is that you don't have any friends.
I like your suggestions. If the parents don't get to know each other, rather schooled or homeschool, friends can be hard to keep. My husband didnt make a ton of friends in school because his parents refused to let him play or go to their homes. My parent's always met my friends and eventually their parents. I believe thats why I had friendships rather than "socialization". My son's co-op is like a large private school that's over 20 years old, so the same kids come year after year. He has friends there because us parents took the time to meet and link up of weekends and summers. There're also organizations there such as karate, scouting, sports, choir that non homeschoolers can attend in the evening allowing friendships to build.
I'm a 5 year home school mom whom is now 13 and the socialization part is up to the parents. Brick and morter forces kids to be friends because their together all the time. Sports, period. And Honestly, get them into faith based activities with kids of their own values. Friends are not realistic, literally. In the real world how many "friends" do you have as an adult? If you want them to have friends, you do have to do the work to vet parents and connect with them to have more play dates instead of "getting your 90 minutes of free time".
Homeschooling parents do have to work harder to find good friends for their kids. You have to plan events and host a lot of activities. They also have to have a way to communicate during the week. Parents have to go outside their comfort zone to meet up and get to know other parents. I know children in public school that still have no friends.
Great day. The new way of communication is having great social skills and maintaining a social connection. This can happen via social media, by cell phone, etc. Maybe every now and then they can meet up. Social skills; help with conflict resolution in the future. Have a great day.
One thing our community offers is homeschool skate which gives the kids opportunities to mingle and network but it’s still hard finding that or those special people that are your people you know cause everyone can’t be in the number for many of reasons values being one reason. 😢
Yes. I am new to the community. My girls will not be reenrolling in PS. I took it upon myself to begin meeting up with a couple of groups so that the girls can get a feel for what is to come. We did the skating thing a couple of times. They are twins so they basically stick together. We did meet one family that we exchanged numbers with but no real connections have been made. I hope this changes. It is one of my main concerns. We do have church and they belong to an "Adventure group" there. I call it a Christian version of girl scouts without the cookies but all of the activities. Praying that it all balances out.❤
I think this is a good video to consider. I also think some kids just don't make or keep friendships well either. My husband and I went all the way through school without keeping very many close friends all the way through. Now my son is the same and hasn't made hardly any friends at school. And I don't know how to help him because I am pretty terrible at friendship myself! So it's not just homeschool. Sometimes the kids who do better with homeschooling may also just not jibe with the other kids they meet. So it's...a whole thing. 😢
We need to accept the fact that we are in a new era where people generally do not like to fellowship together anymore. I don’t know if it is in the food or the water. If adults do not socialize with others, then how can we expect children to do it. One thing I know is that we should not teach children that Church is a daycare to drop kids off because GOD will hold us accountable for our actions. Church is a place for the family! Sometimes children may be blessed to find a friend or associate but if not, then we should teach them that it is not the end of the world if they don’t have friends because their are some wicked folks in the world. We must find ways to be creative at spending quality time together with our children because life is short so make memories with your children! It will be appreciated in the long term.😊
Of course I agree with you! However when I think back on how tired my mother way just getting us ready for church, and having 3 special needs foster children, I'm glad she was able to drop us off so we could learn about the Bible. I see many of my friends who are too exhausted to get themselves ready, and so their children haven't been to church in years. The other reality is that church is a place for families, but I mostly see women and children. There's a lot that needs to be addressed!
With the way the world is now I am good with my kids not having a lot of people to associate or be friends with. My husband and myself don’t like to deal with a bunch of people so I don’t see a need for my kids to either.
@@auemmjee they are most definitely individuals!! My daughter is an extrovert and likes to make friends!! My boys don’t care either way. My kids are free to live their own lives. Please don’t speak on shit you don’t know!!! Furthermore explain to me what’s the purpose of having a bunch of friends in a world that’s full of people who are haters, full of drama, liars, and so on??
Great suggestions for homeschooling. I love attending church the best and please while they are in Sunday school you can attend adult Sunday school or church as the case may be. I am a grandmother and my daughter is planning to home school in about a year. By the way I love your hair.
I hear you! It got better for my daughter a couple of years ago when she got a phone and started exchanging numbers with her peers. Now, she's almost 14 and initiates all of her hangouts (I'm just the driver, lol) and calls them every day. It's nice; I don't have to do much in that department anymore, and she's made some close friendships. It was different when she was younger, though. So, I understand how hard it can be. My other kid, on the other hand, is almost 7 and has an even harder time making friends due to his intellectual disability. Other kids don't get him, unfortunately, and finding another kid with intellectual disability in the homeschooling community is like finding a needle in a haystack. I just do the best I can and be a friend to him in the meantime. It's not a matter of just finding other kids at a church or group in his case because he's not at the same developmental level as other children his age.
Hi Kimberly It's ok for your child to have you as his only friend. There is a plan designed in mind for us all. Finding ways to keep him healthy mentally and physically, that is true happiness and all that he needs to right now.
I agree with the main point in this discussion. My kids socialized but it was hard to make friends. Now that they are in public school, they have made associates to socialize with throughout the day. We still need to find our tribe but we are in a military community. It's hard but I have hope.
Yes this is the convo in my house 😔🙄🙄🙄🙄.. my kids did track for many years they had a few kids they connected with I didn’t realize how I needed to reach out in order for ,y kids to develop long lasting relationships the few they did like even ended up moving so that was a bust. Needless to say it can be difficult gaining friendships
I think I naturally had the understanding that I would need to be friendly with some parents so my child wouldn't have a difficult time making friends. I am glad she has kids she's close to in her activities she regularly attends.
My children made friends from our church youth group that they attend every Friday. They have spent time with their friends outside of church youth group.
I want to homeschool in the future and this is my concern. My daughter is 4 and she already talks about wanting other girl friends to play with. I will make more of an effort now.
Co/op seem to be the easiest way to make friends. My daughter sees the same familiar kids and they all play after. My daughter also has really good friends in the neighborhood. In our forest school they socialize and play for hours.
I agree with robin813 My child is in a private school with other kids and it is still a lot of effort to make real friends. I agree church or a place you would see friends often. Back in the day my friends were neighborhood friends. And church friends.
We have a funstead property we own so our kids have the same friends on weekends and all summer there same kids year after year there. And my friends kids and also our neighbors and of course cousins.
i homeschool but it dosent guarantee friends even in public school most of my kids graduated public school and they still dont have friends i went to public school and i dont have any friends now and they were raised in church and had so called friends turn on them so i guess its hard either way
My 3 yr old is autistic and she’s so friendly sometimes and I get so angry as a mom when kids don’t atleast wave 🤦♀️ in a way im glad she is the way she is cause she doesn’t feel deeply like how I did when I was her age when people didn’t say hi back. I gravitated more towards adults for that very reason cause the kids acted so stuck up and mean for no reason. This life is so hard sometimes esp being neurodivergent and having a neurodivergent kid myself. I wanna homeschool one day when im more settled but that’s just my issue is like I wanna have mom friends and friends for my kids but I just know not everyone is very friendly
Have you looked see if there is a Trail Life and American Heritage Girl group in your area. Its a faithbased program that encourages community, teamwork, and developing life skills. If you can join a troupe, kids will have an opportunity to work together and build friendships
My mother taught me, you don't have friends you have associates.. That would be correct "( I never had friends)", The closest people to me I called them my sisters & Brothers. I grew up with these people, Times have changed, if we didn't have friends before, why are we looking for them now? Especially for our children. This is not cool.
there really is a difference in a “friend” and an “acquaintance”. I always wonder when people talk about their friends if it is really a friend or somebody they met or just know of. Friends are few and come and go at different times in our lives.
Eh, friends are overrated. Almost everything that goes wrong with kids starts out with, "I was meeting up with/ hanging out with my friends..." Everybody needs to learn how to be still with their own company. Desperation for attachment makes us vulnerable to detrimental couplings.
I’m been going to church my whole life 😊. Of course you are going to find different kinds of people. But I’m not likely to find people inviting me or my children to events that don’t line up with our values. Of course everywhere you have to have discernment.
That is a lie!!! You don’t need socializing the reason is simple you need to pray and listen to God who is the family that you can trust to influence your kids, because a lot of twists can happen, also you need to be aware with parents that take advantage grape their kids friends because most of the time your child will be attacked by the people who are close to them. So trust no body, is simple just talk to people, this woman make it complicated just simple say hi, play for that day and done you don’t need friends that are not aligned with God purpose for your child life also DO NOT TRUST PEOPLE AT CHURCH A LOT OF PEDO AND GRAPERS ARE IN THE CHURCH!!
@@auemmjee if the father is the siko he should be in jail your job as a mother is to protect your kids, so as a mother call the police and make sure that men is behind bars
The friendship issue can be solved by the parent having another child. People possibly homeschool because they know their kids don't have any friends. No one really has friends, so why BS them? Family over friends.
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One big problem - parents don't wanna chauffeur their kids to the friend places.. I have watched my kiddos friend lose other friends over the years because their parents just won't bring them to meet up it's always on the other parent. If I didn't foster that friendship it would peeter out. I think we need to teach our kids how to not only make friends but sustain friendships
Completely agree!
As a grown person who stinks at keeping up friendships I agree and wish I knew how to teach my kids better at it.
I went to public school and I hardly ever had friends. Only one in elementary school. She was a great friend though. Quality over quantity.
Facts! After almost 12 years of homeschooling, this is so true. Our kids are well socialized, but to build community and make friends you need a consistent group of people that you interact with regularly throughout the year. This is also true in life. Long-term commitments are needed to build relationships with people.
I agree. We're experiencing this with our son. I left my job in public school system to homeschool our son for 5 years. When I went back to work last year, I enrolled him in our district's virtual school, so my parents could monitor him while we were at work. Although he socialized in virtual school, it was difficult to forge friendships. I'm on the verge of enrolling him in the public school where I work, but it's the hardest thing to do. We accomplished a lot in homeschool. At 16 months, he was reading at a 1st grade level. I'm really scared that all the gains he's made will be jeprodized in the public school system. It was easy for us at home because he was my only student and we had no distractions. However, it's really difficult for teachers with 20 plus students (in a Title 1 school) to tailor instruction to adequately meet each child's needs.
Not me sitting here enjoying your in depth video about homeschooling, while not even having a child at all!!😂🤣 I absolutely love your videos, you are so well spoken and voice is so pleasant to listen to.
Yes! Church has been a big help for us. Our church just so happens to be full of homeschool families so there is a co-op there as well. We are building amazing friendships.
🙏🏾 Prayers for all of the families dealing with this struggle (including mine...lol).
I have watched my wife become the driving force to create community in our area. This has, unfortunately, placed a strain on her as she attempts to build an ecosystem that our child can benefit from. She never gets to show up and participate at events: instead, she is forced to facilitate. Adults form groups for homeschool kids in our area, open them to other families, but maintain exclusive activities that make new families feel excluded. Finding another job in a community that embraces diversity is currently one of my highest priorities so that both my wife and daughter can find a healthy community to build relationships in.
Lol, I went to school and never really found friends there. My cousins were my friends
Perhaps being able to resort to family for friendship gave you less motivation to connect with others.
@@auemmjee Actually, no. I tried very hard and just couldn't find people I could relate to, I was friendly towards everyone, but couldn't really connect. I am mostly the same way now, I have about 2-3 close friends and my mom and sister are my closest friends and confidants.
... Reasons I run a homeschool program. Pre-teens and teens need a tribe. I have an academic and theatre program and parents can pick and choose what the kids participate in. Our programs run full year, and I have had several students to ask for summer events because they didn't want the school year to end. We keep the group small and the kids tend to bond extremely well. It takes a lot of planning and organization for it to work. My own kids had a similar experience and at nearly 30, they have life-long friends through homeschooling.
Could you expand on this? I love this idea sooooo much!
@@bmylove4444 As Akeeba said, you need to be very intentional about helping your kids find a friend group. It's not going to happen organically. A "Homeschool-school" is one way of doing this. You have to choose carefully, making sure the people in the group have similar values and that the kids are not being bullies and forming cliques. This is why I started a small homeschool program 5 years ago near Atlanta. We started out as a history program, but now offer a full course and Theatre. We also have long breaks between classes so kids can hang out and collaborate. My program is a not-for-profit. You won't get rich doing this, but for me, it is my service to the homeschool community.
This is Ms. Andrea... I replied from my business account.
Reading this made me goosebumps. This sounds so amazing and SO needed. Not all kids love sports! Some kids are natural theater kids! Good for you and thank you for thinking of the olders
Idk!! My children are 50/50 with this. When they go out to either socialize with other children or “make friends” they always come back with a story pertaining to bullying or kids wanting to play with my children except for my special needs daughter or make her feel inadequate because she is different. I think if children were raised to be more kinder to other children and not be the little mini me bullies of their parents then children of all backgrounds wouldn’t have a problem making friends let alone socializing. I allow my children to learn how to feel out the energy of other children and if they want to socialize or make friends I allow them the space to do that. However, if my children feel there is unfair treatment, bullying etc. going on then they know to separate and play amongst themselves. I don’t force my children to “have friends” just because society says so. Especially considering how cruel and nasty some children can be! This is just from my point of view 👀👍🏾
Facts
I agree!!
I agree with you!
Being around hundreds if not thousands of other children five days a week is a different opportunity to naturally find friends. But mean people are a part of life and your kid will encounter people who don't like them once they're an adult.
I love this video. It's definitely not unique to the homeschooling community though, because I didn't really have friends in school. My mom had to do the same things even though we went to public school. Lol
My children are in virtual school, which is pretty rigorous might I add. I take them to parks to play with other children. Sometimes they have fun, other times children are mean to them and it hurts their feelings. I teach them that in life family is what matters MOST. Anyone extra is just extra, but as long as you have eachother then you are blessed. 🤷🏿♀️
I can see this. We’ve been homeschooling for 11 years now. My oldest graduates next year. I’m thankful we’ve been a part of the same co op (with over 200 kids…it’s like a small school) for 9 years. They’ve grown up with their same friends. When I was a kid, I moved every 2 years. I’m so thankful we’ve been able to keep our kids around the same kids the entire time they’ve grown up. And bonus, their moms are my friends and I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve developed from it ❤️
Friendship requires work no matter what age or situation in life you are in. Homeschooling doesn't necessarily create a friendless culture. This is a good reminder to work on our friendships and develop them both for our children and ourselves.
Also, friendships are naturally formed. You can't force friendships. Many are not authentic. People are just not closely bonded as they were we we grew up in the late 60s or early 70s. Truth be told, people are fake and sometimes mean spirited. Mean children, bullies grow up to be the same as adults. One only has to look at what's taking place in politics at the White House, i.e., MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, as well as many of our workplaces to find examples. I'll pray for the kids who really yearn those frienships to really one day find genuine friendships.
I have been very active about helping our daughters build friendships. One way is homeschool classes, homeschool co-ops, and public spaces (park, library, etc) will kids gather during day time hours before schools let out so you can meet homeschool kids. =) Church is also a great place. Seeking out other moms who homeschool as well at church. By God's grace, we have five families that we have become friends with. One family recently moved, so we lost 4 kids there. But we still have a pretty large group of about 10 kids with my kids (2) included. My oldest made her own friendship without me this year!!! I was so proud of her. She asked the girl for her number, etc They took a homeschool swim class.
I blame "a la carte" this and that. So many parents are going back and forth from activity to activity. My child was frustrated that after choir NOBODY hung out because they were "off to their next activity." Therefore, I started a tutorial with my sister to foster that opportunity because it was REGULAR meeting each week in addition to meet ups throughout the week. We're at the point now where some parents from the group are hosting things at their houses too. Sure, we want to learn. . .BUT, our main goal is to foster friendships and community. My kids can play with anyone at the park, but they can't guarantee they will ever see each other again.
Can you expand on this? this sounds like something I'd want to do! How often do y'all meet at your place?
@@bmylove4444 Once a week, 15 Tuesdays a semester.
Facts. I lived in South Florida and my children "socialized" but never made friends. Now, I live in the islands with very few homeschool families (hardly any black ones). My children crave friendship. My girls are now in Girl Scouts and in the Fall, they'll go to public school so they can have more opportunities which aren't available here for home schoolers. It's a tough road for homeschool families.
so true and yes! Church and basketball team, and Taekwondo has been a constant in our home, even though our child was in all these prior to being homeschool.
One thing that I don’t like about the homeschool community is that amongst the parents it can be very cliquey. I’ve been to a group as a newbie and my son loved it but after week the so-called friendly parents went back to their usual cliquey groups and were no longer as friendly.
I've been homeschooling and it's been difficult for my child to make friends since the area we lived in had nothing good for children to do. Now that we moved to a better area there's more for children to do. Now there's a greater opportunity to make friends.
You have to put extra effort into this when you homeschool. I went out of my way to foster friendships for my 3 boys when I saw they connected with someone. I’d go out of my way to invite their friend to come join us on outings/ activities (and I’d cover their costs if any)… I’d drive long distances to make sure they could hang out regularly. It was a lot of time and effort.. but it was so important and really helped them to feel satisfied socially and have quality friends. I homeschooled 3 boys from the start til High School. This is definitely an important aspect of homeschool that the community does make light of too often. I didn’t always fit in with other homeschool parents either… we had to be vigilant and try to branch out with different opportunities so we could find the right connections.
Thank you for being HONEST and addressing this issue!
I was bamboozled and hoodwinked! I attempted to homeschool for 3 years. We did Co-ops, Tutorials, events. My only child daughter age 7,8,9 was sooo sad & lonely. It didn’t help that it happened around the time of the pandemic. I put my daughter back in school so she could be around lots of peers to choose from to have friendships with.
This was a refreshing video since people that homeschool swear up and down they have no issues socializing their children. My kids go to public school and are at an age where they are learning the different interactions they will encounter in life. Everyone will not want to be their friend and they are learning how to navigate through that. I think it’s Important to try to interact with different types of people. Thanks for sharing your take on this.
Thank you! As a future homeschooling mom of 2 kiddos I was definitely under the idealized bubble that various classes, sports classes are enough "social" exposure to make friends.. your advice is so practical and definitely a much needed reality check 😅
💯 thank you for speaking on it! Since transitioning to homeschooling in 2020, my 4 kids have been each others besties. I love that but some of their personalities craved outside friendships. We were no longer at that “schedule play dates” season of life so old friends fell off and I was discouraged we hadn’t found a homeschool community yet. It wasn’t until we got very consistent and involved at our place of worship & my older 2 went to summer camp at church that they found friends, eventually we connected with another family at church who happened to homeschool as well & our kids became friends with hers. That led to joining a small homeschool group where regular field trips became another point for meetups with friends in addition to church once or twice a week. And while we don’t do sports teams right now, we have been in a homeschool tennis program through the city’s parks & rec department and most of the kids that go are the same kids each semester and through that repetition, they’ve made more friends. I’m still trying to find moms I vibe with but I see the progress and will continue to press on keeping your tips in mind.
Have you looked into Trail Life and the American Heritage girls? They are a faith-based group that encourages teamwork, social skills and serving the community.
Love this video! We are in the process of moving and I’m so stressed about starting all over again when it comes to finding socialization for our kids.
In our old town we knew of 13 other families that were homeschooling, but getting most of them to socialize was like pulling teeth! We had a weekly meet up and only 3 families were coming consistently, the rest popped in a couple times a year if we were lucky. If it wasn’t for teams, clubs, and library events, my kids would have been so lonely.
I’m praying that the new town we’re moving to has more opportunities and willing families.
I was homeschooled and my 2 best friends growing up were not. We met in 4-h, and my parents just drove me to their houses on evening and weekends, and we had lots of 4-H things we did together. Real friendships work better when there are shared interests. My siblings were all much much older than me so that was another reason i chose to have a large family. Im homeschooling my 7 kids now all 12 and under. Friends are great but being close friends with your own siblings is amazing❤ our co-op also has lots of kids they see every week all year long and moms stay at co-op so we get to be good friends with the other moms.
I think this is an important comment. I understand if people want to mix with "their own" or keep with other homeschoolers but there's an opportunity to create friendships with public schooled kids as well.
Our kids were home schooled. They have some of the best friendships. They are intelligent, respectful, hardworking, and best of all they are born again Christians! They understand there is only two genders, male and female. They don’t drink, they don’t do drugs, they help others without expecting anything in return. I was blessed to be able to let my wife stay home and homeschool our children. The best decision we ever made. Our kids also agree after seeing how most of these public school kids act and present themselves in public and treat others nowadays.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. So true! I really appreciate that this wasn’t a video bashing the problem, but rather offering solutions to parents who already know what isn’t working. Yes, we did dance, swim lessons, and “co-op” type classes. Never once was a friend made in these activities. But the more time we spend at this same church, the better I see her relationships with the same kids. I will say that doing random church VBS events without the church experience also isn’t going to work.
Akeeba, all of my three children are grown and were never homeschooled. But I watch your content because I found out about you through your sister Alana. And I enjoy watching and listening to your content because you are very wise and knowledgeable about education, and I really like that about you. Annddd, I love watching and listening to your very intelligent young ladies🥰
This is exactly what I was thinking! I'm so glad you confirmed the thoughts I was having and didn't have the full words to say.
Our church friend's (as God showed me in my personal life) have been our family....and have become the more sustainable relationships. The boundaries are also great too.
And having a small group within the church.
Taking our child with me to functions...even business events for myself, she's going to learn more that way as well. 💜✅🥰
I love the honesty. I'm definitely looking for actual teams for mine to join
Great video! Very important topic! Consistency with the folks you vibe with 🙌🏼amen!
Truth because my daughter is asking for friends now she is in grade 4
Your daughter needs a playmate. These so-called "Friends" come and go, so, can we really call them friends? Friends will always be there for you no matter what. You can count your friends on one hand. Truth be told. Keep her head in the books.
@@DivinityKa relationship doesn't have to last forever for it to be a relationship.... that's some really bizarre thinking. Most marriages don't last either. My guess is that you don't have any friends.
@@auemmjee Sending best wishes and hugs.....
I like your suggestions. If the parents don't get to know each other, rather schooled or homeschool, friends can be hard to keep. My husband didnt make a ton of friends in school because his parents refused to let him play or go to their homes. My parent's always met my friends and eventually their parents. I believe thats why I had friendships rather than "socialization". My son's co-op is like a large private school that's over 20 years old, so the same kids come year after year. He has friends there because us parents took the time to meet and link up of weekends and summers. There're also organizations there such as karate, scouting, sports, choir that non homeschoolers can attend in the evening allowing friendships to build.
I'm a 5 year home school mom whom is now 13 and the socialization part is up to the parents. Brick and morter forces kids to be friends because their together all the time. Sports, period. And Honestly, get them into faith based activities with kids of their own values. Friends are not realistic, literally. In the real world how many "friends" do you have as an adult? If you want them to have friends, you do have to do the work to vet parents and connect with them to have more play dates instead of "getting your 90 minutes of free time".
Being around other children all the time doesn't force anyone to be friends. I went to high school with 4,000 kids. I had two friends.
Thanks for the real world suggestions.
Homeschooling parents do have to work harder to find good friends for their kids. You have to plan events and host a lot of activities. They also have to have a way to communicate during the week. Parents have to go outside their comfort zone to meet up and get to know other parents. I know children in public school that still have no friends.
Yes, my homeschooled daughter made friends on her cheer team.😊
Someone finally said it.
Great day.
The new way of communication is having great social skills and maintaining a social connection. This can happen via social media, by cell phone, etc. Maybe every now and then they can meet up. Social skills; help with conflict resolution in the future. Have a great day.
One thing our community offers is homeschool skate which gives the kids opportunities to mingle and network but it’s still hard finding that or those special people that are your people you know cause everyone can’t be in the number for many of reasons values being one reason. 😢
Yes. I am new to the community. My girls will not be reenrolling in PS. I took it upon myself to begin meeting up with a couple of groups so that the girls can get a feel for what is to come. We did the skating thing a couple of times. They are twins so they basically stick together. We did meet one family that we exchanged numbers with but no real connections have been made. I hope this changes. It is one of my main concerns. We do have church and they belong to an "Adventure group" there. I call it a Christian version of girl scouts without the cookies but all of the activities. Praying that it all balances out.❤
I think this is a good video to consider. I also think some kids just don't make or keep friendships well either. My husband and I went all the way through school without keeping very many close friends all the way through. Now my son is the same and hasn't made hardly any friends at school. And I don't know how to help him because I am pretty terrible at friendship myself! So it's not just homeschool. Sometimes the kids who do better with homeschooling may also just not jibe with the other kids they meet. So it's...a whole thing. 😢
We need to accept the fact that we are in a new era where people generally do not like to fellowship together anymore. I don’t know if it is in the food or the water. If adults do not socialize with others, then how can we expect children to do it. One thing I know is that we should not teach children that Church is a daycare to drop kids off because GOD will hold us accountable for our actions. Church is a place for the family! Sometimes children may be blessed to find a friend or associate but if not, then we should teach them that it is not the end of the world if they don’t have friends because their are some wicked folks in the world. We must find ways to be creative at spending quality time together with our children because life is short so make memories with your children! It will be appreciated in the long term.😊
Of course I agree with you! However when I think back on how tired my mother way just getting us ready for church, and having 3 special needs foster children, I'm glad she was able to drop us off so we could learn about the Bible. I see many of my friends who are too exhausted to get themselves ready, and so their children haven't been to church in years. The other reality is that church is a place for families, but I mostly see women and children. There's a lot that needs to be addressed!
Hey akeeba great info thanks for sharing
My sports team was through Special Olympics! & Hops Soccer, horseback riding, ballet didn't work out unfortunately 😿.
With the way the world is now I am good with my kids not having a lot of people to associate or be friends with. My husband and myself don’t like to deal with a bunch of people so I don’t see a need for my kids to either.
You don't view your children as individuals. You're going to cripple your kids, socially. Maybe that's your goal.
@@auemmjee they are most definitely individuals!! My daughter is an extrovert and likes to make friends!! My boys don’t care either way. My kids are free to live their own lives. Please don’t speak on shit you don’t know!!! Furthermore explain to me what’s the purpose of having a bunch of friends in a world that’s full of people who are haters, full of drama, liars, and so on??
Great suggestions for homeschooling. I love attending church the best and please while they are in Sunday school you can attend adult Sunday school or church as the case may be. I am a grandmother and my daughter is planning to home school in about a year.
By the way I love your hair.
I hear you! It got better for my daughter a couple of years ago when she got a phone and started exchanging numbers with her peers. Now, she's almost 14 and initiates all of her hangouts (I'm just the driver, lol) and calls them every day. It's nice; I don't have to do much in that department anymore, and she's made some close friendships. It was different when she was younger, though. So, I understand how hard it can be.
My other kid, on the other hand, is almost 7 and has an even harder time making friends due to his intellectual disability. Other kids don't get him, unfortunately, and finding another kid with intellectual disability in the homeschooling community is like finding a needle in a haystack. I just do the best I can and be a friend to him in the meantime. It's not a matter of just finding other kids at a church or group in his case because he's not at the same developmental level as other children his age.
Hi Kimberly It's ok for your child to have you as his only friend. There is a plan designed in mind for us all. Finding ways to keep him healthy mentally and physically, that is true happiness and all that he needs to right now.
Great common sense suggestions. Thank you!
I agree with the main point in this discussion. My kids socialized but it was hard to make friends. Now that they are in public school, they have made associates to socialize with throughout the day. We still need to find our tribe but we are in a military community. It's hard but I have hope.
The co-ops can be daunting to navigate as well.
I am watching not for homeschool, but because I like the Maze Family!!
This is so true. Thanks for being real 😊
Yes this is the convo in my house 😔🙄🙄🙄🙄.. my kids did track for many years they had a few kids they connected with I didn’t realize how I needed to reach out in order for ,y kids to develop long lasting relationships the few they did like even ended up moving so that was a bust. Needless to say it can be difficult gaining friendships
Very good video! Thank you❤
This is accurate. I needed to hear this for awhile.
AGREED on CHURCH!
Hi Akeeba! Can you recommend a math curriculm or app for 1st grade? Please and thank you.
I think I naturally had the understanding that I would need to be friendly with some parents so my child wouldn't have a difficult time making friends. I am glad she has kids she's close to in her activities she regularly attends.
Spot on! Great video!
My children made friends from our church youth group that they attend every Friday. They have spent time with their friends outside of church youth group.
I want to homeschool in the future and this is my concern. My daughter is 4 and she already talks about wanting other girl friends to play with. I will make more of an effort now.
Co/op seem to be the easiest way to make friends. My daughter sees the same familiar kids and they all play after. My daughter also has really good friends in the neighborhood. In our forest school they socialize and play for hours.
I agree with robin813
My child is in a private school with other kids and it is still a lot of effort to make real friends.
I agree church or a place you would see friends often.
Back in the day my friends were neighborhood friends. And church friends.
All of this!
We have a funstead property we own so our kids have the same friends on weekends and all summer there same kids year after year there. And my friends kids and also our neighbors and of course cousins.
i homeschool but it dosent guarantee friends even in public school most of my kids graduated public school and they still dont have friends i went to public school and i dont have any friends now and they were raised in church and had so called friends turn on them so i guess its hard either way
My 3 yr old is autistic and she’s so friendly sometimes and I get so angry as a mom when kids don’t atleast wave 🤦♀️ in a way im glad she is the way she is cause she doesn’t feel deeply like how I did when I was her age when people didn’t say hi back. I gravitated more towards adults for that very reason cause the kids acted so stuck up and mean for no reason. This life is so hard sometimes esp being neurodivergent and having a neurodivergent kid myself. I wanna homeschool one day when im more settled but that’s just my issue is like I wanna have mom friends and friends for my kids but I just know not everyone is very friendly
Yesss to vacation bible school i always loved to go with my friends when i was younger
Try Quantum Montessori. Exceptional hybrid homeschool community ❤
I'm in Germantown! I wish we could hang out!
Hello is that Germantown, MD? I'm also in Germantown
Have you looked see if there is a Trail Life and American Heritage Girl group in your area. Its a faithbased program that encourages community, teamwork, and developing life skills.
If you can join a troupe, kids will have an opportunity to work together and build friendships
Half truth is still a lie! I never had friends!
My mother taught me, you don't have friends you have associates.. That would be correct "( I never had friends)", The closest people to me I called them my sisters & Brothers. I grew up with these people, Times have changed, if we didn't have friends before, why are we looking for them now? Especially for our children. This is not cool.
@@DivinityKYou have the best advice ❤
@@Faircafe98 Thank you @Faircafe98. ❤
Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear. @universalangei9320
there really is a difference in a “friend” and an “acquaintance”. I always wonder when people talk about their friends if it is really a friend or somebody they met or just know of. Friends are few and come and go at different times in our lives.
So good
My nephew has made a massive amount of friends through sports so maybe, it's just the level of social skills a kid has.
Eh, friends are overrated. Almost everything that goes wrong with kids starts out with, "I was meeting up with/ hanging out with my friends..." Everybody needs to learn how to be still with their own company. Desperation for attachment makes us vulnerable to detrimental couplings.
People who really know how to be in their own company don't have kids
This good
Aren't there still playgrounds for the children to play with each other?
Just cause u both go to church dont mean yall values align-keep going u shall see
I’m been going to church my whole life 😊. Of course you are going to find different kinds of people. But I’m not likely to find people inviting me or my children to events that don’t line up with our values. Of course everywhere you have to have discernment.
@@AkeebaMaze Ok-MANY of these churches still under slave teaching so natural hair and being African is disrespected and they believe its right
interesting
That is a lie!!! You don’t need socializing the reason is simple you need to pray and listen to God who is the family that you can trust to influence your kids, because a lot of twists can happen, also you need to be aware with parents that take advantage grape their kids friends because most of the time your child will be attacked by the people who are close to them. So trust no body, is simple just talk to people, this woman make it complicated just simple say hi, play for that day and done you don’t need friends that are not aligned with God purpose for your child life also DO NOT TRUST PEOPLE AT CHURCH A LOT OF PEDO AND GRAPERS ARE IN THE CHURCH!!
Most of the time it's the farther....do you keep him away from the kids as well?
@@auemmjee if the father is the siko he should be in jail your job as a mother is to protect your kids, so as a mother call the police and make sure that men is behind bars
The friendship issue can be solved by the parent having another child. People possibly homeschool because they know their kids don't have any friends. No one really has friends, so why BS them? Family over friends.
Honestly part of the reason I homeschool is because I don't want my kids to be friends with most of the kids at school 😬
You're living in a bubble if you think people don't have friends.
Go to church.