Thank you!! Thank you so much!! Thank you so much for making this stream, for uploading this on RUclips!! Without you I wouldn't be able to make myself through this masterpiece! Oh god. I'm so happy I did. I feel myself changed person i finally understand. For me personally the ending was the greatest thing I've ever experienced. I cried so much after hearing the end but more out of happiness for the person who was dying. I've seen and experienced many disturbing things in my life. I never had someone with such illness but I've experienced living and talking with people who was mentally currupted and turned into an almost shell of a person that they used to be even from erly age. It happened to my grandmother and grandgrandmother. Up until 10 months ago I was living with my grandmother and it's was exhausting living with her. So painful to see her failing basic things, unable to care for herself and all that. And one day I just stopped thinking as an alive person. She isn't a person who I knew, it's just what's left of her. Of course I helped her but that perspective I had helped me so much. I didn't cry when she actually died in fact I was happy it was over. Years of meaningless suffering ended. But is still bothered me to this day. That I wasn't feeling as sad as I should be. That I didn't care enough. People around me where so sad she is gone. In fact mum still feel sad about that and still cries sometimes. But I didn't feel any of this. Not even a little. I felt bad for her then just decided that for me she is dead and that's it. Why? I always answered to this with something like: "I'm just soules and many of my shown emotions are merely imitation" But now after completing this album I understood the real reason. My brain gave my something no one else got. I remembered that before I made conclusion that my real grandma was dad I had a dream. That dream was as beautiful as the end of this album. After years of suffering I was finally being able to talk with Grandma I loved and cared about. She was talking, smiling and laughing normally! Not with that crazy souless imitation of a smile but with a real one, with a loving one with a caring one. And because of that I was able to say goodbye to her even though it was a dream. I really wish she could say goodbye to everyone before death but unfortunately she didn't and that's why everyone was so sad. Nobody had a chance to say goodbye to her. To real her. Not currupted with mental illness and life in general... The most valuable thing in this life is to leave it a right way, to let people see your angelic nature and help others show you theirs before living this place. Thank you caretaker for letting me see your angel. It was undecidably good
Seems I'm the only one here who fully read this. That mindset you had is a good coping mechanism. You can think logically instead of letting your emotions take over. Also, sorry for your loss.
*➡ STAGE 1* 0:35 It's Just a burning memory 4:03 We don't have many days 7:31 Late afternoon drifting 11:11 Childishly fresh eyes 14:11 Slightly bewildered 16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient 20:43 All that follows is true 24:15 An autumnal eqinox 27:04 Quiet internal rebellions 30:35 The loves of my entire life 34:39 Into each others eyes 39:13 My heart will stop in joy *➡ STAGE 2* 42:33 A losing battle is raging 47:10 Misplaced in time 51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks 54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times 59:10 Surrendering to despair 1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me 1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early 1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall 1:15:51 Denial unraveling 1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely *➡ STAGE 3* 1:26:06 Back there Benjamin 1:30:20 And heart breaks 1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep 1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie 1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden 1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss 1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes 1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses 1:54:15 Gradations of arms length 1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced 2:00:05 Internal bewildered world 2:03:30 Burning despair does ache 2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity 2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world 2:11:05 Libet delay 2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie *➡ STAGE 4* 2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1 2:27:15 The way ahead feels lonely plays in reverse 2:30:30 heartaches segment 2:32:33 J1 chimes play beneath the cacophony 2:38:35 piano segment 2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2 2:50:47 false mem syndrome (i think) 1 2:58:36 hell siren's 🚨📢 3:06:06 Temporary bliss state 3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3 3:35:30 stage 4 version of stage 5 3:37:30 glimpses of hope in trying times 3:42:28 The calm before the storm *➡ STAGE 5* 3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1 4:00:39 homesick bird whistles Begin to play 4:02:55 clarity 1 4:04:50 clarity 2 4:06:26 The Fog 1 (new section) 4:06:56 whistling 1 4:08:04 snippets of temporary bliss state 4:08:25 whistling 2 4:08:37 snippet of H1 4:10:41 The Fog 2 (new section) 4:12:51 hell siren's 2📣 4:15:16 stage 4 J1 Chimes play quietly beneath the cacophony 4:15:47 new segment starts 4:17:20 peaceful clarity 4:18:10 mandolin solo 4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2 4:23:35 false mem syndrome 2 4:25:04 heartaches tries to play 4:26:27 false mem syndrome 3 4:26:40 Lombardo's heartaches starts to play 4:27:20 farewell blue's segment 4:30:50 N1 starts to play in background 4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis 4:59:40 hell siren's 3 5:07:42 Sudden time regression into isolation 5:08:44 Graduations of arms length tries to play for the duration of N1 5:09:57 sublime beyond loss 5:10:18 quiet internal rebellion 5:13:09 drifting time misplaced plays but reversed and slower 5:13:50 sublime beyond loss 2 5:14:13 piano clarity 5:14:24 drifting time misplaced played for a second, then played slowly in reverse 5:14:50 a broken melody starts to play 5:15:12 first drone appearance 5:21:18 Final stage 5 clarity *➡ STAGE 6* 5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting 5:54:18 piano clarity 6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat 6:12:35 stage 5 starts to fade in quietly 6:16:18 hell sirens 4 6:16:42 false mem syndrome 4 6:20:48 trumpet clarity 6:21:07 the haunted ballroom plays for a second 6:21:33 trumpet clarity 6:24:13 Long decline is over 6:25:56 trumpet clarity 6:27:04 hearts 6:29:29 hearts 2 6:31:44 hearts 3 6:36:50 Loudest drone 6:40:35 clarity 6:44:00 Last trumpet clarity 6:46:10 Place in the world fade's away 6:52:35 Organ segment 7:01:15 Terminal lucidity May the ballroom remain eternal. C'est fini.
It’s supposed to represent terminal lucidity, a term for the final moments of a patient with dementia. During this time, the patient remembers everything, which is why there is actual music instead of just noise. However, the patient dies soon after
@@eomex8379 not exactly, terminal lucidity is called terminal lucidity for a reason. It happens near the end of the patient's life. That being weeks, days and sometimes even just mere hours before death.
@@michaelwerkov3438 It does. I've seen it and heard it. Our neighbor actually went through Mixed dementia and ended up living for 2 months before her inevitable death. My friends grandmother on the other hand, never got to Terminal Lucidity. Died before it, due to other health complications. Terrible man. And yes, people live for other 20 years with dementia with medication. Dementia isn't what you think, it runs in our family and we know a ton about it.
40:07 the reaction here was mine exactly. when i first listened, the echoing of the horns was so soft and smooth i almost didn’t notice how altered it was at first because of how pleasant it sounded. chills every time.
I remember listening to that album and trying to sleep afterwards it was the most painful thing ever my brain just replayed random parts of this album over and over again and no matter how hard I tried it wouldn’t go away
I once fell asleep listening to EATEOT with my headphones on full blast, I had the weirdest nightmares and I ended up waking up at 3 am with some hell sirens
Most people say that Stage 1 feels pleasant and calm, I can see why, but honestly for me, even Stage 1, some songs especially, feel very unsettling. It has a very liminal feeling, like the music isn't going anywhere, while at the same time growing more distant every second. Stage 1 makes me probably more anxious than the later stages.
I thought I was the only one... Especially "We don't have many days... Its like an old man trying to remember some incident but it comes to a dead end so he tries to remember what happened again but he comes to the same spot and cant continue further
If you were to play a Stage 1 track for a jumpscare, it would scare me much more than if you played a Stage 4 or later track. Stage 1 is slow and sad, so you wouldn't expect anything to come out and scare you. Later stages however would definitely keep you on high alert and make a jumpscare far less effective because you'd basically see it coming already.
It's just, a feeling I've got... like something is about to happen, and if he's as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances... your just what the doc ordered I'm beginning to feel like a rap god, rap god All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
I remember hearing about this album and deciding to listen to the whole thing during a single shift at work. That FUCKED me up. Towards the end of phase 2 and into phase 3 I felt frustration and teared up because it was like something fond being pulled from my hands by a greater force. By the end of the 2nd half I was in this lukewarm malaise just kind of waiting for it to end. This album authentically induced all 5 stages of grief to their fullest extent within me. Also I love how this project will repeat a sample, but pitched differently and have emphasis on different parts, or add altered flourishes. It's like you're remembering a familiar song, but remembering it wrong.
First time i listened in January 2020, I almost got to the end of Stage 3 and couldn't take anymore. I was really disturbed by one track and made sure to remember its name: Libet Delay. Imagine my horror to realize I had barely made it a third of the way through the project's total runtime. I skipped through the later stages and I still remember that feeling of vertigo that there was so much jumbled and chopped up material. Like standing at the foot of a huge mountain that is impossible to climb. How on earth was this made, and how did Leland Kirby not go completely insane making it?
It’s fascinating how art can affect people so much. I can’t even listen to a full minute of stage 5 without it bringing back memories of some of my worst days, my worst depression, and some of the worst thoughts I’ve ever had. I can’t even imagine listening to the over 6 hours of that. Maybe I might give it a listen once I’m in a better spot mentally, but I don’t know if I should. If Kid A makes me cry sometimes, there’s absolutely no chance I’m get through this. It would be interesting to see someone break down exactly what makes this album so disturbing, and why it affects so many people. I’ve never really seen a piece of art that’s able to do what EATEOT does, and to the extent that it does. Thanks for going through this for us, Brad. You’re a legend.
Hi there dog from raditude, surprised to see you here. I’ve seen you comment on a lot of weezer videos (I love weezer lol). Kid A is pretty sad but yes EATEOT is definitely sadder. It’s really worth listening to though, once you’ve heard it it changes you for the better.
@@ringer1324 Yeah, good idea. I’ll definitely need a lot of partying to get through this. Also, this wasn’t necessarily Sidney talking, I kinda broke character here. And now they you mention it, I should maybe try it.
I can't believe you actually subjected yourself to this. I can't take more than a couple of minutes of certain movements in this thing, it's too unsettling. Makes me think too much. Edit: I don't know why I was so hyperbolic in my description of my fear of this thing a couple of months ago, it's spooky but i can listen to it just fine, unless I'm in a bad spot mentally. I'm honestly more emotionally affected (and disturbed) when I listen to The Disintegration Loops, especially because of the story behind it. I remember visiting the 9/11 memorial and hearing it. It was so chilling, I'd already heard it before, but discovering they play it in a room at the memorial museum brought the emotional connection full circle, or at least as full as my connection with it will ever be. I lived on Long Island when it happened, but I was in Kindergarten, so all I remembered was being confused and asking my dad what was going on, and he said "scary things are happening." That didn't ease my confusion, and finding out what actually happened was just bizarre, I couldn't comprehend it. Regardless, I'm not traumatized by 9/11, merely in awe at the horror I do remember in everyone's utter grief and confusion following it. Anyway, Disintegration Loops. Highly recommend listening to that if you like something like the caretaker, and want to hear what happens when you make the context or concept behind your music the emotional thesis by attaching real-life events to such an abstract piece. It's repetitive, it's a loop of a sad orchestra sample basically, that sounds silly as fuck but in context it works. That's my point, after all this blabbing. And the people that rag on fans that are immersed in the horror of the concept, just because they think it's just some creepy but plain loops, should really consider the person they're talking about. Maybe they have a personal connection to the concept because they lost a family member to Dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Maybe they have an easier time suspending disbelief and letting music work with their imagination, like me. I just find it creepy because I chose to listen to it late at night with headphones, carefully looked at and thought about the art as I listened, and just generally mentally explored the spaces The Caretaker was trying to create. Some people don't care to do that and that's fine, but don't make fun of people because you don't buy the story like they do, when it's just fiction.
@@achair650 That's actually a personal problem, and the album doesn't strive to do such a thing. It hits people deeper than it might hit other's. Remember, people perceive Art and Music differently than other's.
Music isn’t just sound. It can make or break you. If you aren’t in a good place while listening to this, it can make it so existentially depressing. look at me, I died and now I’m a ghost. I’m just delivering this message.
He's not joking.. I went down this rabbit whole all because I liked the first song.. Now everytime I remember the first song I associate it with death and decay of one's self. It's been 2 weeks since this shit. Thought I'd forget but now I'm wishing I don't forget anything.. Because when I do.. When my mind draws a blank.. This song pops up
@@eomex8379 That's interesting. Idk. it destroys me and makes me extremely sad and angry. It reminds me of the fact that everybody will die soon, even the loved ones. Can't stand it more than 1 hour. It's so beautiful and painful at the same time. At least for me.
I was going through a really difficult period in my life last September that involved me trying to find solutions to my burnout and emotional and mental exhaustion, which began back in December 2019. I came across this album at a bad time and it ended up putting me in a state of apathy and self-destructive behavior that I'm only now starting to come out of. To anyone currently going through a tough period in their lives, I highly recommend waiting until you feel more stable to listen to this album by yourself. The first three hours were enough to bring me to a very low point.
I had the same experience at the same time. I fell in depression two weeks after I start listening to it. the worst part was that...i couldn't get away from it... The album was not the only factor of course but I think it deepened my despair And i'm falling into this loop again.
My papa has Alzheimer’s and I listened to the track to see what he’s going through… I’ve already mourned his “death” He turns 80 next year… Happy birthday Papa… I love you🤍
1:14:50 My take on the art is that it depicts a transitional time; from a stage containing more coherency in the art and music, to a more abstract and disturbing one. The simple and delicate roses representing the remnants of the beautiful music, and the vase representing the crackles, skips, and delays of it. It will only be a matter of time before the flowers become as broken as the vase.
@@georgyanatolyev8288 might be a past memory of the person dancing with their significant other. the memory is in the last stages of slipping away or fading into the brain fog we see in stage 3.
06:49:10 that first bit of music after enduring hours of noises, moments of clarity, terrifying whistling noises in stage 5 , there is finally a melody, starting in seconds. the relief is immense
I can COMPLETELY understand Brad's feelings on Stage 5, how he took to it. I streamed my reaction to the entire project without any pausing or checking how far along I was during the full listen, and Stage 5 broke me. I cried for something like six minutes. I was thoroughly upset because of the weight of all that had come before that moment. I was fed mental images I didn't think my mind would force on me. To gaze upon an endless black sea of nothing while sitting on a lonely island in a cave is not an easy mental image; Not only was I confronting a deep fear of mine with the listen, I've also never had my mind try to hurt me before in such a way. I didn't know my mind could reduce me to worthless rubble until then. Everywhere at the End of Time is a Masterclass on the power of terror, a real and true Masterpiece of an essential quality.
Stage 4 was brutal to listen to and honestly i started skipping through some of it, but the artwork is just so hauntingly beautiful that I would bring up that part of the video again just to look at it more.
@@Zadamanim its scary how the art shows a person but his look is very mixed up like soulder looks like a shouw or the neck looks like a leg and face is mixed do only the basics can be seen on it like eyes nose and mauth (sorry for a very VERY bad english i was watching this from 2am-9am soo im sleepy af)
discovered and listened to this album on l$d. it's really not bad at all, and got me into ambient music. First listen was haunting and had real tear jerking moments but i find myself going back and listening to some tracks casually.
The last part is supposed to represent terminal lucidity which apparently is a real thing that happens when people with alzheimer are about to die,crazy stuff
Some people think it's that, but also some think It's probably a representation of the Caretaker's funeral. A much somber take is the Caretaker being taken into heaven when he reaches the last 5 minutes. But it's all for interpretation in the end.
Thank you for posting this. My grandfather just passed away from dementia and my grandma has Alzheimer’s as well. I didn’t want to go into this alone and I’m glad I have somebody to watch along with💕
Dementia imo is truly the most horrifying things in this world. There’s nothing that terrifies me more. I’ve seen it happen to someone close before and dread to see it again, or worse experience it. The caretakers works have certainly helped understand the experience a little better for me, especially after the passing of the person.
This whole album is honestly really difficult to get through, but it’s a really unique experience so I’d say it’s worth it. Btw, 2:20:33 this moment seems oddly meme worthy
The entire segment is probably war flashbacks, maybe a reaction to hearing blaringly loud sirens running away from your enemies while seeing a mass of corpses
I'm in two minds as to what this part represents. In general I think it's a moment of terror which sufferers of on-set dementia will encounter. In a more specific context it could be one of two examples. A brief moment of clarity in which the sufferer becomes temporarily aware that something is deeply wrong with them. They're old, they're mortal and their affliction is going to be the end of them. There is only one way out and even then they'll have to endure unimaginable suffering to get there. In this sense the entity that reveals itself to the subject is their own mortality. On the opposite end of the spectrum it could be a moment of immense terror bought on by confusion. Imagine waking up in in the middle of the night in a dark room with hardly any recollection of how you got there. Sure it's the bed you've slept in for decades but it still feels unfamiliar and wrong. You turn to seek comfort from the person you've been married to for 55 years but they're not there. They passed away 2 years ago but you don't remember that. You are alone and the blackness seems all encompassing. Both of these scenarios are horrific in their own way but it's also a testimony to how one instrument playing a few notes can have such metaphorical depth in the context of a piece of art like this. Or it's just spooky horn makes scary noise to do us the frighten idk
And in reality... that person was just her daughter, taking her back home after she went out for a walk in the middle of the night. (sorry if my English is bad, I'm learning).
my grandmother just passed away couple days , they pulled her life support off. and have been listening to this almost 2 or 3 years. i come to realize that this is the only thing that plays in the back of my head as i remember her when this plays. changing the way i see this is sad, but i will cherish the album to the grave, 4:04 is where i sit down on my bed and listen to this. i lived with her for numerous years, and its sad to see her go. and the fact my therapist said i might have schizophrenia is depressing. i never know if im in reality, thank you for thode who read my comment. i love yall.
My favorite song title is “a confusion so thick you forget forgetting” because it could be taken as “hmm… why was I so confused again… eh, whatever. I need to go to the store”
at the time that title is used you can't hear, or see, or move, or understanding anything so I think you can't go to the store. woooosh me if this was a joke but I'm clairifying.
Terminal lucidity is the last part. Those last 6 minutes you here are the last phase in dementia before death. The patient suddenly regains full consciousness. Memories come back, the ability to think returns and your senses work just as good as at the very start. It’s the phase of happiness but also dread. As this is the part where dementia kills you. The last minute of silence symbolizes death. Neuroscientist or anyone really aren’t exactly sure why this happens but it is something beautiful anyway.
"i don't get the hype behind this album" in the chat took me out i swear i can imagine this dude's walking into a museum looks at a painting of a cow from 16th century or something and goes "yea i don't get the hype"
Well, what's so special about a cow, the perspective of different centuries, the way the lines intersect based on the thoughts and feelings of the artist even? I really just don't see the hype (I'm not the guy in the comments btw)
STAGE 1 0:35 It's Just a burning memory 4:03 We don't have many days 7:31 Late afternoon drifting 11:11 Childishly fresh eyes 14:11 Slightly bewildered 16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient 20:43 All that follows is true 24:15 An autumnal eqinox 27:04 Quiet internal rebellions 30:35 The loves of my entire life 34:39 Into each others eyes 39:13 My heart will stop in joy STAGE 2 42:33 A losing battle is raging 47:10 Misplaced in time 51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks 54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times 59:10 Surrendering to despair 1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me 1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early 1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall 1:15:51 Denial unraveling 1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely STAGE 3 1:26:06 Back there Benjamin 1:30:20 And heart breaks 1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep 1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie 1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden 1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss 1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes 1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses 1:54:15 Gradations of arms length 1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced 2:00:05 Internal bewildered world 2:03:30 Burning despair does ache 2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity 2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world 2:11:05 Libet delay 2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie STAGE 4 2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1 2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2 3:06:06 Temporary bliss state 3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3 STAGE 5 3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1 4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2 4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis 5:07:42 Sudden time regression intoisolation STAGE 6 5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting 6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat 6:24:13 Long decline is over 6:46:10 Place in the world fade's awa
My favourites from each stage, Stage 1: Slightly Bewhildered Stage 2: Misplaced in time Stage 3: Drifting time misplaced *Best one in the whole album* Stage 4: Temporary bliss state Stage 5: Synapse retrogenesis Stage 6: Place in the world fades away
There’s a reason why I have a 100 song playlist of just covers and edits of Lullaby of the Leaves, Misplaced in Time, and Drifting Time Misplaced, and it’s that LotL is the best sample in the whole album.
I'm so glad you actually listened to it and took it in instead of what other reaction channels might have done which is just talk over the whole thing. I could see the same reactions on your body as I had myself, especially around Stage 3 where those horns can physically shake you up and a frown just sort of manifests slowly on your face. Good on you for appreciating the art in full.
This album is truly an experience. I say that not as one who’s simply repeating others. I’m 70 and a record collector who spends more time on Spotify than I do sleeping which is my favorite thing to do. I have never known anyone with dementia and if this piece is portraying dementia it works. It works beyond my imagination and I can imagine a lot. I almost wish I heard this without knowing the context. I don’t know if I’d figure out what it was about. I love ambiance both in sound and in music and this works for me 100%.
Hey, really like collecting records as well. I found all of caretakers albums on boomkat recently. Maybe they are still available if you're looking for them ^^
Saw your comment and just wanted to say hi. This album is powerful and makes me feel some sort of emotion. Not sure what emotion it is but it’s beautiful
i know im 2 years late. i had been meaning to listen to this album, but couldn't keep myself interested in it. this vod helped, nice that we can see chat. thanks brad!
Thank you for reacting to this. My grandpa recently died from Dementia after struggling with it for many years, so I've been afraid to react to this on my own. Now I can finally listen to the whole thing. Love your content and love laughing along to your more fun reactions! Hope you have a good day.
THINGS YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO WHILE LISTENING TO THIS (take it from me, it made it 100 times worse) - get high af - accidentally fall asleep - listen while in a bad mental state - listen over 26 small sessions (just do it all in one) - read the comments (original video)
@@FuzionOkihow high did you get bruh 😂 I listened to it high after eddies and just dozed off. Either you took some weird ass shiii that ain’t weed or you got a very very low tolerance
what do you mean, I dropped several different hallucinogens before going to bed with this on while absolutely depressed and I got to see jesus that night (to clarify, no I have not actually done this.)
context on my points - thought being stoned would make it easier/better but I just got paranoid - fell asleep during like stage 3 or something and woke up mid stage 5... truly simulated dementia right there. - was already depressed, got worse - seriously don't drag it out it's already 6.5 hours I made it like 6.5 *days* - the comments on the original album are mostly people sharing personal stories about dementia and their extreme (rational) fear of getting it themselves. Very sad, existential, and 90% of them just made me cry
Brad the ending is cus in ur last moments before death u have one final moment of clarity, it is actually realistic, I’m not a scientist or anything but I’m just going off of what another commenter said
It’s not a universal constant, and a lot is unknown since it’s difficult to truly observe from the outside, but a lot of people at the end of their life tend to have a short period of things generally being better for them sometime prior to death.
My great grandmother that I lived with for 5 years had dementia. My grandmother took care of her due to her inability to take care of herself. I was present for the entire downfall of her sanity. It was rough. This album touched my soul and made me feel so horrible for what she must have went through. She passed away at the age of 100 in the house. She didn’t look at peace. Just very tired.
This album's main goal was to imitate dementia through music and it's album covers. And they did that goal, and with that, changed our perspective on life and helped us emphasize with the poor victims of this horrible disease.
i feel like the 4th and 5th are the scariest and the moment you get used to it you get peace at the 6th stage i honestly didnt cry at the whole experiment but still it was shocking
those last 6 minutes are just incredible. They simulate so much emotion, and although I was less spooked, I incredibly scared enjoyed the last 6 minutes of this track. I never have, (or will have) the time to finish this whole track, and to be honest those last 6 minutes were my favorite part. There was just so much to it, and although I didn’t even feel like crying, I was just conveyed with so much emotion. 10/10 if I ever have 6 hours of free time, will listen. Wow
My great nan used to sing a song called We'll Meet Again, by Vera Lynn, while she was in a nursing home, that was, for me horrifyingly similar to All That Follows Is True, and the second that played when i listened to stage 1 for the first time, i froze in place, she passed with dementia, and after this album im genuinely terrified of the disease
I was so scared listening to this alone. But I when I found this I was so happy because it gave me the confidence to actually listen to this album. Thank you! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while!
Brad responded to someone a few minutes into Stage 4 with "you didn't miss much, the stage just started". Made me reflect that what is taken from you at that stage is a sense of time, since the structure of the music is gone. When that person asked what he missed, the stage may as well have just started. Just like it is with dementia, you're trapped in a timeless, incomprehensible expanse. The project has such an appropriate name.
That made me think about how stage 3 might as well be the very beginning. You don't need context because you forgot what the context even was. It's just *that* distorted
It takes a man of true will power to sit through this entire album, I never have and probably never will as it's way to long for my liking but also, I wouldn't be able to get through it. So making through in one piece it is one hell of an achievement.
i can say from experience that by the 6 hour mark of a straight run through you find yourself in such a weird emotional state, it’s been hours of nothing but this,, the thoughts that run through your head get so extreme,, you think of relatives you miss, who had to go through this same feeling for years and it makes you feel selfish for crying when they can’t remember your name,, it’s intense. always loved your content and i avoided this one cause i felt that me listening to it on my own was an experience enough but to see so much validation for what i felt during my listen years later is kinda crazy. much love from the future my guy
My interpretation of the artwork for the full album: Stage 1: I imagine that the family of "The Caretaker" put him in a memory care facility as early as they could to either try to familiarize him with the environment, or so there would always be someone to keep an eye on him. When he gets ready for bed, there's always someone there, making sure he changes and gets in bed safely, and they always carry a roll of clear bags in their pocket. A roll of liners, used by caregivers to gather clothes and change trash in his and all the others' rooms. Stage 2: The years have gone by, and his family has visited him frequently. They watch as he very gradually deteriorates as Alzheimer's reaps its nightmarish reward. On this day, "The Caretaker's" wife has come with something he has slight trouble recognizing, between his despair of his condition and the condition doing its wretched work. She says her goodbyes and leaves the item. He stares at it for minutes before it finally comes to him: the vase they'd used to store the flowers from their marriage, their bright red roses now missing, his weary eyes seeing wilting flowers where there is is nothing, and a man and woman playfully running and dancing where there are handles. Stage 3: It's getting worse. His wife hasn't visited much. Has she? That once familiar object has been morphed and ruined by his breaking mind. The vase and the imaginary flowers within have stretched and warped beyond any recognition. This small thing inspires great fear within "The Caretaker". Stage 4: The memories are fleeting. The only things his rotting mind can manage to create are fear, pain, sadness, and the image of a lady. His wife? His mother? Some entirely random woman created by his mind as a desperate attempt to cling on to some sort of humanity? He doesn't know anymore. Stage 5: Fear falls away to emptiness. Sadness falls away to silent agony. The same being he had conjured before has now been warped and ruptured beyond even the wildest of imaginations. "The Caretaker" only has a few moments of true awareness before that, too, falls into the void. Stage 6: True emptiness. True agony. His mind has no ability to imagine anymore. The plaques show no mercy. The tangles only grow, like weeds on a bright summer day next to a clean river. Not that "The Caretaker" would know what any of those things are. Stage 7: C'est Fini.
my interpretations for the art and music is this. stage 1: the art i feel represents the patients mind. its a roll of paper but what could the paper be? a news paper? toilet paper? who knows. you can see a little bit of wrinkling on the bit that's sticking out. signifying the slow decline. during the stage i can imagine the patient in their house just thinking about the past. the glory of the old days. stage 2: the art work shows a sadder tone. flowers in a broken pot. in this stage, i think the patient goes through the stages of grief. but unlike what most people think, i think that after "last moments of pure recall" the patient realizes that memory's are not just becoming distorted. there being destroyed. unable to remember some at all instead of parts just being a bit foggy. this causes the patient to be overrun with fear. in this stage the patient still remembers themselves and still has pure recall. but after this track. instead of the true decline being in the far future. its happening right now. stage 3: the art i feel represents the spread of dementia. now overgrown and spreading like a parasite. the patient i feel in this stage is prioritizing on trying to keep memory's fully intact. and keep them from fading. its a long hard struggle to try and prevent the inevitable. stage 4: the art i think represents the patient seeing someone they dont recognize. their care giver. someone that has just came into the house to help them with the rest of their days. the patient is this stage can no longer remember one single memory, instead if they try their brain starts giving them a flow of different memory's all tangled together. during the final track of stage 4, the patient slowly begins forgetting their sense of self, and their family. transitioning them into stage 5. stage 5: the art represents what the patient thinks a human looks like. you can see human features in the mess of white but their all distorted. in this stage the patient slowly forgets everything. the first track they are hit with a feeling of horror when realizing they cant remember who they are. the second track is the start of their mental functions deteriorating. the third represents their brain mentally aging backwards. and the final track represents the lasts memory's being destroyed, until we are left with the void that is stage 6. stage 6: the art represents the back of a canvas. facing away from the viewer. not letting us see what the art is. but in reality. even if it was turned around. the art it would just be completely and utterly *black. the entire painting would be a black background with nothing on it. because there is nothing left to show. its all gone.* in this stage the patient cant think anymore. they cant walk, or move, or eat, or drink, or do anything besides blinking and breathing. the last 5 minutes represents terminal lucidity. an uncommon phenomenon were the patient regains all their memory's. shortly before *death.* the last minute of silence represents the patient dying. and their suffering is finally over.
i dont have any grandparents anymore, but i remember a moment when my grandma was on her deathbed. I was just 4. Me and my mom sat there, watching her. She started mumbling incoherently and my mom couldnt take it. I only caught that last glimpse of my grandma before she passed away about a week later. Now I don’t think she had dementia, but she was indefinitely sick, as in she never could get up. Never really got to see my grandparents other than that moment. My older brother, however, loved her. He tells me she was a bundle of sunshine each time they visited. Love to hear that.
Just putting this here for myself: STAGE 1 0:35 It's Just a burning memory 4:03 We don't have many days 7:31 Late afternoon drifting 11:11 Childishly fresh eyes 14:11 Slightly bewildered 16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient 20:43 All that follows is true 24:15 An autumnal eqinox 27:04 Quiet internal rebellions 30:35 The loves of my entire life 34:39 Into each others eyes 39:13 My heart will stop in joy STAGE 2 42:33 A losing battle is raging 47:10 Misplaced in time 51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks 54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times 59:10 Surrendering to despair 1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me 1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early 1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall 1:15:51 Denial unraveling 1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely STAGE 3 1:26:06 Back there Benjamin 1:30:20 And heart breaks 1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep 1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie 1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden 1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss 1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes 1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses 1:54:15 Gradations of arms length 1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced 2:00:05 Internal bewildered world 2:03:30 Burning despair does ache 2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity 2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world 2:11:05 Libet delay 2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie STAGE 4 2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1 2:27:15 The way ahead feels lonely plays in reverse 2:30:30 heartaches segment 2:32:33 J1 chimes play beneath the cacophony 2:38:35 piano segment 2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2 2:50:47 false mem syndrome (i think) 1 2:58:36 hell siren's 3:06:06 Temporary bliss state 3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3 3:35:30 stage 4 version of stage 5 3:37:30 glimpses of hope in trying times 3:42:28 The calm before the storm STAGE 5 3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1 4:00:39 homesick bird whistles Begin to play 4:02:55 clarity 1 4:04:50 clarity 2 4:06:26 The Fog 1 (new section) 4:06:56 whistling 1 4:08:04 snippets of temporary bliss state 4:08:25 whistling 2 4:08:37 snippet of H1 4:10:41 The Fog 2 (new section) 4:12:51 hell siren's 2 4:15:16 stage 4 J1 Chimes play quietly beneath the cacophony 4:15:47 new segment starts 4:17:20 peaceful clarity 4:18:10 mandolin solo 4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2 4:23:35 false mem syndrome 2 4:25:04 heartaches tries to play 4:26:27 false mem syndrome 3 4:26:40 Lombardo's heartaches starts to play 4:27:20 farewell blue's segment 4:30:50 N1 starts to play in background 4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis 4:59:40 hell siren's 3 5:07:42 Sudden time regression into isolation 5:08:44 Graduations of arms length tries to play for the duration of N1 5:09:57 sublime beyond loss 5:10:18 quiet internal rebellion 5:13:09 drifting time misplaced plays but reversed and slower 5:13:50 sublime beyond loss 2 5:14:13 piano clarity 5:14:24 drifting time misplaced played for a second, then played slowly in reverse 5:14:50 a broken melody starts to play 5:15:12 first drone appearance 5:21:18 Final stage 5 clarity STAGE 6 5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting 5:54:18 piano clarity 6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat 6:12:35 stage 5 starts to fade in quietly 6:16:18 hell sirens 4 6:16:42 false mem syndrome 4 6:20:48 trumpet clarity 6:21:07 the haunted ballroom plays for a second 6:21:33 trumpet clarity 6:24:13 Long decline is over 6:25:56 trumpet clarity 6:27:04 hearts 6:29:29 hearts 2 6:31:44 hearts 3 6:36:50 Loudest drone 6:40:35 clarity 6:44:00 Last trumpet clarity 6:46:10 Place in the world fade's away 6:52:35 Organ segment 7:01:15 Terminal lucidity
2:22:00 sounds like two or three different radio stations trying to come in at once but their signals all suck. Not creepy as much as frustrating, because it's relatable.
What a fuckin champ. Actually sitting through this. Damn homie. Btw, the end really does represent, the sweet release of death. People talk about it and you probably hear that phrase a lot. But after suffering from dementia, seeing that final light and hearing the songs of the angels must really be such a beautiful release. A wonderful light at the end of an endless tunnel. You don’t realize you’re there, until everything you lost rushes back, then you realize you’re soul is released.
people feel the emotions that are being portrayed in such a strong and intense way it’s almost unbearable, even tho some these emotions aren’t necessarily completely bad. it’s complicated feelings like nostalgia, a bitter sweet remembrance of what was and what will never be again. happy memories of a person you loved can make you miserable and depressed. it especially effects people who’s mental health already is already deteriorating. it can give people anxiety of growing old, of missing out on life. the music being faded and distorted and repeating can make someone feel out of body, watching themselves from an outsiders perspective. i myself listened to this originally when my mental health was absolutely horrid, once i hit stage 5 i had to stop because it was too overwhelming. the mental illness this album portrays is so incredibly horrific and terrifying, it gave me so much anxiety about growing old and getting dementia. the whole thing became my worst fear. i stopped sleeping, i just couldn’t do it. i was so paranoid all the time i couldn’t sleep with the light off. constant anxiousness that just wouldn’t stop. i’m one million percent serious in saying DONT LISTEN TO THIS IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME. DONT LISTEN IF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ISNT GOOD. PLEASE. anyway viewer discretion is advised! good luck if you do decide to listen to this :)
I've done this before on my own, I sat through and just listened to it. broke me. and when i say 'broke me' I mean I had to sit down because I was crying too hard. it's an amazing piece of work that needs a lot more publicity.
I wanted to listen to this album I saw this video, so I figured I'll listen to this with your video. It'll probably make it a lot more easier to listen to. Here we go
This was the first video I really properly watched about it and now my RUclips has been filled filled this sort of content for the past month. Not really complaining, it's been fun listening to all the video projects and fan made versions of it. It's definitely been an experience. And I really owe it all to this video, so I thought I'd come back to it one last time.
The word "bliss" means a kind of perfect happiness or joy, coming from the proto-Germanic blithsjo. But it is also conflated in origins with the word "bless," and more importantly, it is related to the Old English "blithe," "showing a casual and cheerful indifference considered to be callous or improper." I'm guessing Caretaker had some of this philology in mind when speaking of an "empty bliss" or "brutal bliss."
i took a walk through the woods to see the fall colors yesterday and the whole time “we don’t have many days” was playing in my head. i grew up listening to classical music on records and walking through the woods with my grandparents. i wish i could do it all again
“i miss the melodies :/ im tryna hang onto this last bit before it gets worse” stage 2 perfectly put into layman’s terms :( as someone who’s had to care for several people with dementia all at once, it was one of the most stressful times of my life. not only being a caregiver, but knowing how complex the disease is. after my first handful of months being a cna, i couldn’t stop having panic attacks. thinking about how “it could be me in that state” just unsettled me so much. this is by no means an easy listen and i think it’s important more people are taught about the disease so we can spread more awareness for a cure. although it’s heavy, it makes complete sense that music/sounds would be the medium to portray dementia because music is a powerful thing that most people with the disease hold onto. i had a resident who LOVED playing piano and she’d go away at those keys for ages :,) …the way this artist bends, morphs, and distorts these tunes is honestly probably one of the most digestible ways someone can get remotely close to knowing what it’s like…i’m glad brad did a stream on this because god knows i wouldn’t be able to get through this project all by my lonesome.
4:00:44 I was actually genuinely happy to hear a full whistle. After HOURS of garbled mess that your brain is trying and failing to make sense of or even recognize as a singular sound, voice, instrument, noise, object, ANYTHING; hearing something the brain could actually define was so refreshing.
I didn’t like the ending at first because it was so out of place and almost a silly way to end such a brutal project, but with this phenomena in mind it makes so much sense.
EATEOT reaction videos are pretty much the only kind of reaction videos I like to watch, and so far I really like yours. 2:56:48 I wouldn't have imagined I'd chuckle in the middle of Stage 4, but your lyrics and deadpan delivery here were hilarious. :D
Watching your reaction to EATEOT somehow made listening to the whole thing more palatable for me, and you were brave in listening to it all the way through my dude. But if you want even more... Listen to The Carebear's "Everywhere In The Beginning Of Nowhere". It's the same thing essentially, done with different songs that descends into dementia like madness, except this version is 9 HOURS LONG instead of 7. It's just... better, and a bit easier to listen to as well. (also it was done by A 14 YEAR OLD, AND I CANNOT STRESS HOW ACTUALLY GENUINE AND QUALITY IT IS)
@@l0newolfgang theres not much info on him considering its a fan album but the top results on google are that hes 14 and i dont see anything else so im believing that
I think the main reason it was too much to suspend your disbelief on the final track was because the real-world inspiration is actually quite esoteric. This may or may not come as common knowledge, but there is actually a phenomenon wherein patients suffering from dementia can in some cases regain sudden and complete lucidity- but only in the final moments before death. This is known medically as terminal lucidity for that reason, and it's probably not even as uncommon of an occurrence as you'd think- and the craziest part is, there's not even any actual medical explanation yet for why or how this can happen. ...You know, stuff like this is what really gets me thinking. What even... _Is_ dementia exactly...? I mean, if their memories aren't truly being erased, what's actually happening to these people? Is it really taking away their identity? Or is it... More like it's taking away the ability for them to actually express it?
I believe it's the brain loosing pathways to the memories. The memories are still there but the ways back to them are locked forever. The brain tries hard to make new pathways to the memory but forgets other memories are there when creating a new one. Causing entanglements.
plaque eats away at the brain and shrinks it. this causes decline in motor function, speech, or gait over time because, like another person said, those pathways aren’t there anymore. this is why you see a lot of parkinson’s paired with dementia :( …devastating. but that’s why one of the segments is named after it
Literally was listening to it today for the first time. Made it through 20 mins before I fell asleep lol. It’s not that it’s boring, it’s just hard to get into. I’m gonna try to listen to it again soon, it’s just that with this sort of album, you have to be in the right state of mind.
When I got to stage 6 the first part of it sounded like the static turned into the sound of waves crashing on a beach and I was too relaxed after the stage prior not to fall asleep
Thank you!! Thank you so much!! Thank you so much for making this stream, for uploading this on RUclips!! Without you I wouldn't be able to make myself through this masterpiece! Oh god. I'm so happy I did. I feel myself changed person i finally understand. For me personally the ending was the greatest thing I've ever experienced. I cried so much after hearing the end but more out of happiness for the person who was dying. I've seen and experienced many disturbing things in my life. I never had someone with such illness but I've experienced living and talking with people who was mentally currupted and turned into an almost shell of a person that they used to be even from erly age. It happened to my grandmother and grandgrandmother. Up until 10 months ago I was living with my grandmother and it's was exhausting living with her. So painful to see her failing basic things, unable to care for herself and all that. And one day I just stopped thinking as an alive person. She isn't a person who I knew, it's just what's left of her. Of course I helped her but that perspective I had helped me so much. I didn't cry when she actually died in fact I was happy it was over. Years of meaningless suffering ended. But is still bothered me to this day. That I wasn't feeling as sad as I should be. That I didn't care enough. People around me where so sad she is gone. In fact mum still feel sad about that and still cries sometimes. But I didn't feel any of this. Not even a little. I felt bad for her then just decided that for me she is dead and that's it. Why? I always answered to this with something like: "I'm just soules and many of my shown emotions are merely imitation"
But now after completing this album I understood the real reason. My brain gave my something no one else got. I remembered that before I made conclusion that my real grandma was dad I had a dream. That dream was as beautiful as the end of this album. After years of suffering I was finally being able to talk with Grandma I loved and cared about. She was talking, smiling and laughing normally! Not with that crazy souless imitation of a smile but with a real one, with a loving one with a caring one. And because of that I was able to say goodbye to her even though it was a dream. I really wish she could say goodbye to everyone before death but unfortunately she didn't and that's why everyone was so sad. Nobody had a chance to say goodbye to her. To real her. Not currupted with mental illness and life in general...
The most valuable thing in this life is to leave it a right way, to let people see your angelic nature and help others show you theirs before living this place. Thank you caretaker for letting me see your angel. It was undecidably good
Seems I'm the only one here who fully read this. That mindset you had is a good coping mechanism. You can think logically instead of letting your emotions take over. Also, sorry for your loss.
@@ShwappaJ i think you might have alzheimers too
@@FronosElectronics Holy shit, I've had duplicate messages before but never 3 lol
Got rid of the impostors!
I wanted to rewatch this but I was too scared thanks god for this video
nobody asked
"we depressed music"
- dj kharetaker
Underrated comment, lmao
HAHAHAHA
Funniest shit I ever seen
Man thank you so much, you made me laugh while i was freaking out about this like while I'm writing this i am crying
That profile picture is worthy of being on a Caretaker album
*➡ STAGE 1*
0:35 It's Just a burning memory
4:03 We don't have many days
7:31 Late afternoon drifting
11:11 Childishly fresh eyes
14:11 Slightly bewildered
16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient
20:43 All that follows is true
24:15 An autumnal eqinox
27:04 Quiet internal rebellions
30:35 The loves of my entire life
34:39 Into each others eyes
39:13 My heart will stop in joy
*➡ STAGE 2*
42:33 A losing battle is raging
47:10 Misplaced in time
51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks
54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times
59:10 Surrendering to despair
1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me
1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early
1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall
1:15:51 Denial unraveling
1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely
*➡ STAGE 3*
1:26:06 Back there Benjamin
1:30:20 And heart breaks
1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep
1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie
1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden
1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss
1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes
1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses
1:54:15 Gradations of arms length
1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced
2:00:05 Internal bewildered world
2:03:30 Burning despair does ache
2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity
2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world
2:11:05 Libet delay
2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie
*➡ STAGE 4*
2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1
2:27:15 The way ahead feels lonely plays in reverse
2:30:30 heartaches segment
2:32:33 J1 chimes play beneath the cacophony
2:38:35 piano segment
2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2
2:50:47 false mem syndrome (i think) 1
2:58:36 hell siren's 🚨📢
3:06:06 Temporary bliss state
3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3
3:35:30 stage 4 version of stage 5
3:37:30 glimpses of hope in trying times
3:42:28 The calm before the storm
*➡ STAGE 5*
3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1
4:00:39 homesick bird whistles Begin to play
4:02:55 clarity 1
4:04:50 clarity 2
4:06:26 The Fog 1 (new section)
4:06:56 whistling 1
4:08:04 snippets of temporary bliss state
4:08:25 whistling 2
4:08:37 snippet of H1
4:10:41 The Fog 2 (new section)
4:12:51 hell siren's 2📣
4:15:16 stage 4 J1 Chimes play quietly beneath the cacophony
4:15:47 new segment starts
4:17:20 peaceful clarity
4:18:10 mandolin solo
4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2
4:23:35 false mem syndrome 2
4:25:04 heartaches tries to play
4:26:27 false mem syndrome 3
4:26:40 Lombardo's heartaches starts to play
4:27:20 farewell blue's segment
4:30:50 N1 starts to play in background
4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis
4:59:40 hell siren's 3
5:07:42 Sudden time regression into
isolation
5:08:44 Graduations of arms length tries to play for the duration of N1
5:09:57 sublime beyond loss
5:10:18 quiet internal rebellion
5:13:09 drifting time misplaced plays but reversed and slower
5:13:50 sublime beyond loss 2
5:14:13 piano clarity
5:14:24 drifting time misplaced played for a second, then played slowly in reverse
5:14:50 a broken melody starts to play
5:15:12 first drone appearance
5:21:18 Final stage 5 clarity
*➡ STAGE 6*
5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting
5:54:18 piano clarity
6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty
defeat
6:12:35 stage 5 starts to fade in quietly
6:16:18 hell sirens 4
6:16:42 false mem syndrome 4
6:20:48 trumpet clarity
6:21:07 the haunted ballroom plays for a second
6:21:33 trumpet clarity
6:24:13 Long decline is over
6:25:56 trumpet clarity
6:27:04 hearts
6:29:29 hearts 2
6:31:44 hearts 3
6:36:50 Loudest drone
6:40:35 clarity
6:44:00 Last trumpet clarity
6:46:10 Place in the world fade's away
6:52:35 Organ segment
7:01:15 Terminal lucidity
May the ballroom remain eternal. C'est fini.
Thank you random leaf
Appreciate your efforts👏
@@Spealer thanks
Stage 6 has no description.
You fucking madman, thanks lmao.
Those last six minutes remain to be one of the most haunting things I’ve ever heard, the feeling I get when I listen to it is genuinely indescribable
It’s supposed to represent terminal lucidity, a term for the final moments of a patient with dementia. During this time, the patient remembers everything, which is why there is actual music instead of just noise. However, the patient dies soon after
@@Joshua-fr7eo Not necessarily. The patient can live for months or years on end.
@@eomex8379 not exactly, terminal lucidity is called terminal lucidity for a reason. It happens near the end of the patient's life. That being weeks, days and sometimes even just mere hours before death.
@@eomex8379 uh what? lucidity for months or years on end? nah dude... that would be dementia curing itself. doesnt happen.
@@michaelwerkov3438 It does. I've seen it and heard it. Our neighbor actually went through Mixed dementia and ended up living for 2 months before her inevitable death. My friends grandmother on the other hand, never got to Terminal Lucidity. Died before it, due to other health complications. Terrible man. And yes, people live for other 20 years with dementia with medication. Dementia isn't what you think, it runs in our family and we know a ton about it.
2:58:38
How quickly his cheerful demeanor disappears
Lmfao
Everybody gangsta until hell sirens starts playing
Optimism: *GONE*
@@juicyd9233 Hotel : Trivago
6:02:18
40:07 the reaction here was mine exactly. when i first listened, the echoing of the horns was so soft and smooth i almost didn’t notice how altered it was at first because of how pleasant it sounded. chills every time.
the realization something is wrong, leads into stage 2, absolutely genius
I remember listening to that album and trying to sleep afterwards
it was the most painful thing ever my brain just replayed random parts of this album over and over again and no matter how hard I tried it wouldn’t go away
I've fallen asleep to EITBON before
mini dementia
I once fell asleep listening to EATEOT with my headphones on full blast, I had the weirdest nightmares and I ended up waking up at 3 am with some hell sirens
Listing it when you sleep can actually cause mental problems ik scary
Like the opposite of what the song is about…
5:14:50 Dude lost his mind, didn’t know how traumatizing this album can be.
he broke
ʰᵉˢ ᵇʳᵒᵏᵉⁿ
he forgor💀
*Ded* 💀
@@astroturfisadudewhat
4:06:56 look how nervous he looked when he heard those whistles. When i also first heard them i was like: WTF?
Those whistles came from "Glimpses of life denial" from everywhere, an empty bliss.
@@edrganz1918 ok but like
Hoo ask'd
@@Dev57570I did
@@Dev57570He-Hoo asked.
"This selection will be a mandolin solo by Mister James Fitzgerald."
"the hell?"
by another song do you mean the briefer clarity segment after was it a dream?
Most people say that Stage 1 feels pleasant and calm, I can see why, but honestly for me, even Stage 1, some songs especially, feel very unsettling. It has a very liminal feeling, like the music isn't going anywhere, while at the same time growing more distant every second. Stage 1 makes me probably more anxious than the later stages.
I thought I was the only one... Especially "We don't have many days... Its like an old man trying to remember some incident but it comes to a dead end so he tries to remember what happened again but he comes to the same spot and cant continue further
Honestly even just the first song sounds super creepy to me and I can't explain why myself
@@gdsfish3214 burning memory sounded fine to me until I listened to heartaches. The contrast between the two creeps me out so much
@@gdsfish3214 Same. Makes me feel like in one of those liminal spaces with the feeling I'm always unsettled and not going anywhere forever.
If you were to play a Stage 1 track for a jumpscare, it would scare me much more than if you played a Stage 4 or later track. Stage 1 is slow and sad, so you wouldn't expect anything to come out and scare you. Later stages however would definitely keep you on high alert and make a jumpscare far less effective because you'd basically see it coming already.
Brad's face when he hit stage 2 like:
*Something's wrong, I can feel it*
i forgor wer mai fevorit sung woz
Well he was damn right.
@@John-X I forgor mi nem and hu I am
Stage 1 can be a heck of a time too his face during 0:35 through 16:12 is changed
It's just, a feeling I've got... like something is about to happen, and if he's as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances... your just what the doc ordered
I'm beginning to feel like a rap god, rap god
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
I remember hearing about this album and deciding to listen to the whole thing during a single shift at work. That FUCKED me up. Towards the end of phase 2 and into phase 3 I felt frustration and teared up because it was like something fond being pulled from my hands by a greater force. By the end of the 2nd half I was in this lukewarm malaise just kind of waiting for it to end. This album authentically induced all 5 stages of grief to their fullest extent within me.
Also I love how this project will repeat a sample, but pitched differently and have emphasis on different parts, or add altered flourishes. It's like you're remembering a familiar song, but remembering it wrong.
Stage 4 makes me go into fight or flight mode, and a lot of 3 to 5 just makes me very uncomfortable.
First time i listened in January 2020, I almost got to the end of Stage 3 and couldn't take anymore. I was really disturbed by one track and made sure to remember its name: Libet Delay.
Imagine my horror to realize I had barely made it a third of the way through the project's total runtime. I skipped through the later stages and I still remember that feeling of vertigo that there was so much jumbled and chopped up material. Like standing at the foot of a huge mountain that is impossible to climb.
How on earth was this made, and how did Leland Kirby not go completely insane making it?
that very first note… even the first time I heard it, I felt the sorrow.
2:58:35 the way he just goes from 🙂 to 😟 quickly is funny but sad at the same time
Fr
Cucumber
happy happy joy jo- OH MY GODD WHERE AM I OH MY GOD
:| -> /:|
4:06:55
Some guy: whistles
Brad: scared sipping
To be fair, that moment sent the sharpest sense of terror through me when it happened 😭
@@fungusly I got shivers from that whistle
Kinda sounds like a womans scream
Hearing a pretty "clear" "scream" after an hour of nothing is very indeed very scary
to be fair it does feel like ur "choking" the flute lmao
It’s fascinating how art can affect people so much. I can’t even listen to a full minute of stage 5 without it bringing back memories of some of my worst days, my worst depression, and some of the worst thoughts I’ve ever had. I can’t even imagine listening to the over 6 hours of that. Maybe I might give it a listen once I’m in a better spot mentally, but I don’t know if I should. If Kid A makes me cry sometimes, there’s absolutely no chance I’m get through this. It would be interesting to see someone break down exactly what makes this album so disturbing, and why it affects so many people. I’ve never really seen a piece of art that’s able to do what EATEOT does, and to the extent that it does. Thanks for going through this for us, Brad. You’re a legend.
Hi there dog from raditude, surprised to see you here. I’ve seen you comment on a lot of weezer videos (I love weezer lol). Kid A is pretty sad but yes EATEOT is definitely sadder. It’s really worth listening to though, once you’ve heard it it changes you for the better.
You should attempt a full listen. If it gets to much for you just go and listen to raditude for awhile should rest you a little.
@@ringer1324 raditude is a little bit extreme. When “can’t stop partying” comes on I break down every time
@@ringer1324 Yeah, good idea. I’ll definitely need a lot of partying to get through this.
Also, this wasn’t necessarily Sidney talking, I kinda broke character here. And now they you mention it, I should maybe try it.
wezer
I can't believe you actually subjected yourself to this. I can't take more than a couple of minutes of certain movements in this thing, it's too unsettling. Makes me think too much.
Edit: I don't know why I was so hyperbolic in my description of my fear of this thing a couple of months ago, it's spooky but i can listen to it just fine, unless I'm in a bad spot mentally.
I'm honestly more emotionally affected (and disturbed) when I listen to The Disintegration Loops, especially because of the story behind it. I remember visiting the 9/11 memorial and hearing it. It was so chilling, I'd already heard it before, but discovering they play it in a room at the memorial museum brought the emotional connection full circle, or at least as full as my connection with it will ever be. I lived on Long Island when it happened, but I was in Kindergarten, so all I remembered was being confused and asking my dad what was going on, and he said "scary things are happening." That didn't ease my confusion, and finding out what actually happened was just bizarre, I couldn't comprehend it. Regardless, I'm not traumatized by 9/11, merely in awe at the horror I do remember in everyone's utter grief and confusion following it.
Anyway, Disintegration Loops.
Highly recommend listening to that if you like something like the caretaker, and want to hear what happens when you make the context or concept behind your music the emotional thesis by attaching real-life events to such an abstract piece. It's repetitive, it's a loop of a sad orchestra sample basically, that sounds silly as fuck but in context it works.
That's my point, after all this blabbing.
And the people that rag on fans that are immersed in the horror of the concept, just because they think it's just some creepy but plain loops, should really consider the person they're talking about. Maybe they have a personal connection to the concept because they lost a family member to Dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Maybe they have an easier time suspending disbelief and letting music work with their imagination, like me.
I just find it creepy because I chose to listen to it late at night with headphones, carefully looked at and thought about the art as I listened, and just generally mentally explored the spaces The Caretaker was trying to create. Some people don't care to do that and that's fine, but don't make fun of people because you don't buy the story like they do, when it's just fiction.
Same I couldn’t sleep after finding the album in my recommended for the same reason
It fricked with my sleep schedule for a couple days.
This needs a "drink responsibly" label on it.
Only the context is depressing IMO
@@achair650 That's actually a personal problem, and the album doesn't strive to do such a thing. It hits people deeper than it might hit other's. Remember, people perceive Art and Music differently than other's.
i listened to the whole thing, one sitting. it was whatever. last part was great tho
Music isn’t just sound. It can make or break you. If you aren’t in a good place while listening to this, it can make it so existentially depressing. look at me, I died and now I’m a ghost. I’m just delivering this message.
He's not joking.. I went down this rabbit whole all because I liked the first song.. Now everytime I remember the first song I associate it with death and decay of one's self. It's been 2 weeks since this shit. Thought I'd forget but now I'm wishing I don't forget anything.. Because when I do.. When my mind draws a blank.. This song pops up
@@pako5586 Oh shit bruh
@@pako5586 damn. Should I not listen to it?
@@twolikedanumba4272 did you?
@@twolikedanumba4272 don't, if you aren't in a decent mental headspace.
I only stayed fr 5 hrs. couldnt handle it was too much. Congrats to everyone who endured.
This shit is really dangerous for depressed people or those who had depression before.
I think I saw you in chat when you left near the end, nice to see you
@@eomex8379 That's interesting. Idk. it destroys me and makes me extremely sad and angry. It reminds me of the fact that everybody will die soon, even the loved ones. Can't stand it more than 1 hour. It's so beautiful and painful at the same time. At least for me.
I managed to get to N1 sudden time regression into isolation
@@progect3548 i managed to get to the last minute of silence i only feel pain
saving moments to laugh at later
10:51 13:13 2:48:32 3:02:47 3:23:01 4:17:08 5:28:55 5:41:43 5:44:16
Imma save this
@@harethmillion same
holy shit kanye x the caretaker
Same
my next laugh is coming in 29:12 minutes
I was going through a really difficult period in my life last September that involved me trying to find solutions to my burnout and emotional and mental exhaustion, which began back in December 2019. I came across this album at a bad time and it ended up putting me in a state of apathy and self-destructive behavior that I'm only now starting to come out of.
To anyone currently going through a tough period in their lives, I highly recommend waiting until you feel more stable to listen to this album by yourself. The first three hours were enough to bring me to a very low point.
Thank you very much, i might have to listen at a later time❤️❤️
I had the same experience at the same time. I fell in depression two weeks after I start listening to it. the worst part was that...i couldn't get away from it...
The album was not the only factor of course but I think it deepened my despair
And i'm falling into this loop again.
I was in the wrong state of mind as well and I listened to it, worst mistake of my life.
Another piece of media to stay clear of is the book, house of leaves. Don’t read it if you’re down.
its just an album, its not some entity thats gonna destroy your life, the album didnt put you anywhere
My papa has Alzheimer’s and I listened to the track to see what he’s going through… I’ve already mourned his “death”
He turns 80 next year…
Happy birthday Papa… I love you🤍
Hope he's doing well enough 🙏
What stage was he in?
Hbd papa
@@venth6 Jeez do you have a father?
@@venth6 Jeez you do in fact have no father
1:14:50
My take on the art is that it depicts a transitional time; from a stage containing more coherency in the art and music, to a more abstract and disturbing one. The simple and delicate roses representing the remnants of the beautiful music, and the vase representing the crackles, skips, and delays of it. It will only be a matter of time before the flowers become as broken as the vase.
there is people dancing in a vaze
@@georgyanatolyev8288 might be a past memory of the person dancing with their significant other. the memory is in the last stages of slipping away or fading into the brain fog we see in stage 3.
No, I believe it's like something about how you can still recognize stuff but some details are wrong
06:49:10 that first bit of music after enduring hours of noises, moments of clarity, terrifying whistling noises in stage 5 , there is finally a melody, starting in seconds. the relief is immense
I can COMPLETELY understand Brad's feelings on Stage 5, how he took to it. I streamed my reaction to the entire project without any pausing or checking how far along I was during the full listen, and Stage 5 broke me. I cried for something like six minutes. I was thoroughly upset because of the weight of all that had come before that moment. I was fed mental images I didn't think my mind would force on me. To gaze upon an endless black sea of nothing while sitting on a lonely island in a cave is not an easy mental image; Not only was I confronting a deep fear of mine with the listen, I've also never had my mind try to hurt me before in such a way. I didn't know my mind could reduce me to worthless rubble until then.
Everywhere at the End of Time is a Masterclass on the power of terror, a real and true Masterpiece of an essential quality.
Huge props for being able to sit through this entire thing. I would've been bored out of my mind. Very little visual stimulus for that long is brutal.
Stage 4 was brutal to listen to and honestly i started skipping through some of it, but the artwork is just so hauntingly beautiful that I would bring up that part of the video again just to look at it more.
@@Zadamanim its scary how the art shows a person but his look is very mixed up like soulder looks like a shouw or the neck looks like a leg and face is mixed do only the basics can be seen on it like eyes nose and mauth (sorry for a very VERY bad english i was watching this from 2am-9am soo im sleepy af)
That’s why I’m going to listen to this on acid, then I’ll get my visual stimulus
@@getfricked6977 please be careful dude
@@R-H-B Oh yeah I’m aware of how much this can fuck me up, I tried it once and couldn’t make it past the first track in stage 4
Rip to the person who listened to this while high.
Never again...
I was drunk af and I struggle with mental health. Had to sleep with the lights on but also it changed my outlook on life in general.
discovered and listened to this album on l$d. it's really not bad at all, and got me into ambient music. First listen was haunting and had real tear jerking moments but i find myself going back and listening to some tracks casually.
Recently listened to Milwaukee Protocol (basically EATEOT but rabies instead of Dementia) while high and it was an ungodly experience
Or, even worse, while tripping LMAO
“It just somehow keeps getting worse.” This album in a nutshell.
Life in a nutshell.
The last part is supposed to represent terminal lucidity which apparently is a real thing that happens when people with alzheimer are about to die,crazy stuff
It’s one of the most depressing things I’ve ever heard. Gifting the memories, just to take it all away again.
Some people think it's that, but also some think It's probably a representation of the Caretaker's funeral. A much somber take is the Caretaker being taken into heaven when he reaches the last 5 minutes. But it's all for interpretation in the end.
Thank you for posting this. My grandfather just passed away from dementia and my grandma has Alzheimer’s as well. I didn’t want to go into this alone and I’m glad I have somebody to watch along with💕
It's a theory that it may be genetic.... Good luck... Then again my gramps has Parkinson's.. So wish me that too
@@pako5586🫵🏻💀
@@baL88537😭🫵
@@baL88537nahhhh
It's so eerie how stage 5 began right as he scrolled down to William Utermohlen's final self portrait...
Stage 5 was like: HEY DUDE!!!!!! WE ARE HERE YOU KNOW?????????
Stage 5 talkin bout some: PEEKABOO MODAFUCKA!
Dementia imo is truly the most horrifying things in this world. There’s nothing that terrifies me more. I’ve seen it happen to someone close before and dread to see it again, or worse experience it. The caretakers works have certainly helped understand the experience a little better for me, especially after the passing of the person.
This whole album is honestly really difficult to get through, but it’s a really unique experience so I’d say it’s worth it.
Btw, 2:20:33 this moment seems oddly meme worthy
It is very meme worthy yes
Someone should green screen it
I could not agree more
I agree
2:20:33 is also on the thumbnail lol
2:59:54 is like when whatever was following you in the dark the whole time finally reveals itself
The entire segment is probably war flashbacks, maybe a reaction to hearing blaringly loud sirens running away from your enemies while seeing a mass of corpses
I'm in two minds as to what this part represents. In general I think it's a moment of terror which sufferers of on-set dementia will encounter.
In a more specific context it could be one of two examples.
A brief moment of clarity in which the sufferer becomes temporarily aware that something is deeply wrong with them. They're old, they're mortal and their affliction is going to be the end of them. There is only one way out and even then they'll have to endure unimaginable suffering to get there. In this sense the entity that reveals itself to the subject is their own mortality.
On the opposite end of the spectrum it could be a moment of immense terror bought on by confusion. Imagine waking up in in the middle of the night in a dark room with hardly any recollection of how you got there. Sure it's the bed you've slept in for decades but it still feels unfamiliar and wrong. You turn to seek comfort from the person you've been married to for 55 years but they're not there. They passed away 2 years ago but you don't remember that. You are alone and the blackness seems all encompassing.
Both of these scenarios are horrific in their own way but it's also a testimony to how one instrument playing a few notes can have such metaphorical depth in the context of a piece of art like this.
Or it's just spooky horn makes scary noise to do us the frighten idk
This is what kids hear/feel when they learn about the sun exploding a billion billion billion years from now
Besides: the concept of a sun-engine isn’t impossible
And in reality... that person was just her daughter, taking her back home after she went out for a walk in the middle of the night.
(sorry if my English is bad, I'm learning).
my grandmother just passed away couple days , they pulled her life support off. and have been listening to this almost 2 or 3 years. i come to realize that this is the only thing that plays in the back of my head as i remember her when this plays. changing the way i see this is sad, but i will cherish the album to the grave, 4:04 is where i sit down on my bed and listen to this. i lived with her for numerous years, and its sad to see her go. and the fact my therapist said i might have schizophrenia is depressing. i never know if im in reality, thank you for thode who read my comment.
i love yall.
sorry for your loss.
Reading into the context, about dementia and it's different stages, makes it much more heartbreaking
My favorite song title is “a confusion so thick you forget forgetting” because it could be taken as “hmm… why was I so confused again… eh, whatever. I need to go to the store”
at the time that title is used you can't hear, or see, or move, or understanding anything so I think you can't go to the store. woooosh me if this was a joke but I'm clairifying.
@@karolissad.4270 Technically r/woooosh
but idc.
i unfortunately do that regularly and have really bad memory recently, shit makes me want to die. i think i just have some weird amnesia shit idk
@@illuminaticonfirmed1389 bro literally said I forgo💀
"Where is the store?"
Terminal lucidity is the last part. Those last 6 minutes you here are the last phase in dementia before death. The patient suddenly regains full consciousness. Memories come back, the ability to think returns and your senses work just as good as at the very start. It’s the phase of happiness but also dread. As this is the part where dementia kills you. The last minute of silence symbolizes death. Neuroscientist or anyone really aren’t exactly sure why this happens but it is something beautiful anyway.
Your pfp I can’t 💀🕳️🔥
The next 7 hours are gonna be interesting
you done G?
@@Jaxolantern1 couldn’t finish it… I’ll pick it up tomorrow and finish the video.
100th like
@@ringer1324 how's it going
@@ElementalK he forgor 💀
"i don't get the hype behind this album" in the chat took me out i swear
i can imagine this dude's walking into a museum looks at a painting of a cow from 16th century or something and goes "yea i don't get the hype"
Well, what's so special about a cow, the perspective of different centuries, the way the lines intersect based on the thoughts and feelings of the artist even? I really just don't see the hype (I'm not the guy in the comments btw)
one guy in the chat asked him to get rid of the static when its part of the music
@@ketaminepoptarts lmao
STAGE 1
0:35 It's Just a burning memory
4:03 We don't have many days
7:31 Late afternoon drifting
11:11 Childishly fresh eyes
14:11 Slightly bewildered
16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient
20:43 All that follows is true
24:15 An autumnal eqinox
27:04 Quiet internal rebellions
30:35 The loves of my entire life
34:39 Into each others eyes
39:13 My heart will stop in joy
STAGE 2
42:33 A losing battle is raging
47:10 Misplaced in time
51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks
54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times
59:10 Surrendering to despair
1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me
1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early
1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall
1:15:51 Denial unraveling
1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely
STAGE 3
1:26:06 Back there Benjamin
1:30:20 And heart breaks
1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep
1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie
1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden
1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss
1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes
1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses
1:54:15 Gradations of arms length
1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced
2:00:05 Internal bewildered world
2:03:30 Burning despair does ache
2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity
2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world
2:11:05 Libet delay
2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie
STAGE 4
2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1
2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2
3:06:06 Temporary bliss state
3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3
STAGE 5
3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1
4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2
4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis
5:07:42 Sudden time regression intoisolation
STAGE 6
5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting
6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat
6:24:13 Long decline is over
6:46:10 Place in the world fade's awa
ahh yes "awa"
awa
My favourites from each stage,
Stage 1: Slightly Bewhildered
Stage 2: Misplaced in time
Stage 3: Drifting time misplaced *Best one in the whole album*
Stage 4: Temporary bliss state
Stage 5: Synapse retrogenesis
Stage 6: Place in the world fades away
same except for stage one, for me the best song on stage one is "we don't have many days".
drifting time misplaced goes off when it really shouldn't
There’s a reason why I have a 100 song playlist of just covers and edits of Lullaby of the Leaves, Misplaced in Time, and Drifting Time Misplaced, and it’s that LotL is the best sample in the whole album.
*bewildered. not trying to be rude but the misspell for some reason made me upset
I'm so glad you actually listened to it and took it in instead of what other reaction channels might have done which is just talk over the whole thing. I could see the same reactions on your body as I had myself, especially around Stage 3 where those horns can physically shake you up and a frown just sort of manifests slowly on your face. Good on you for appreciating the art in full.
This album is truly an experience. I say that not as one who’s simply repeating others. I’m 70 and a record collector who spends more time on Spotify than I do sleeping which is my favorite thing to do. I have never known anyone with dementia and if this piece is portraying dementia it works. It works beyond my imagination and I can imagine a lot. I almost wish I heard this without knowing the context. I don’t know if I’d figure out what it was about. I love ambiance both in sound and in music and this works for me 100%.
Hey, really like collecting records as well. I found all of caretakers albums on boomkat recently. Maybe they are still available if you're looking for them ^^
Saw your comment and just wanted to say hi. This album is powerful and makes me feel some sort of emotion. Not sure what emotion it is but it’s beautiful
May the ballroom remain eternal.
C’est fini.
Holy shit I read it as "May the bathroom remain eternal.".
@@eomex8379 C'est fini.
C'est fini.
I've seen this quote an awful lot on EATEOF videos. Is it from somewhere? Was it said by Leyland Kirby?
I see this album as a piece of art rather than an album. Ain't nobody got time to actually sit through this.
Haha, I sat through this.
I also sat through it again but with another 3 albums piled on top of it, bringing it up to 9 Hours.
@@roiroije6326 Sounds like hell. I haven't even been able to sit through Donda yet....
I thought the same thing as I was finishing it yesterday, listened to it all while drawing
“Nobody got time to sit through all this”
Let me introduce you to a little something I like to call a road-trip at night
@@jacksonwaldon listening to this during a road trip would make me crash
i know im 2 years late. i had been meaning to listen to this album, but couldn't keep myself interested in it. this vod helped, nice that we can see chat. thanks brad!
I'm happy to have been there when it happened. Again, props to you for sitting through the whole thing. I could never have.
Thank you for reacting to this. My grandpa recently died from Dementia after struggling with it for many years, so I've been afraid to react to this on my own. Now I can finally listen to the whole thing. Love your content and love laughing along to your more fun reactions! Hope you have a good day.
I'm so sorry for your loss💗 my grandpa also suffered from it and he died three years ago, im sending you lots of love❤️❤️❤️
THINGS YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO WHILE LISTENING TO THIS (take it from me, it made it 100 times worse)
- get high af
- accidentally fall asleep
- listen while in a bad mental state
- listen over 26 small sessions (just do it all in one)
- read the comments (original video)
I got high asf once heard the first part of the album and thought I had dementia that was a rough high I was legit bawling my eyes out
@@FuzionOkihow high did you get bruh 😂 I listened to it high after eddies and just dozed off. Either you took some weird ass shiii that ain’t weed or you got a very very low tolerance
I put this on for a long overseas plane ride, and I fell asleep during the first stage and woke up in the middle of stage 3. It was brutal
what do you mean, I dropped several different hallucinogens before going to bed with this on while absolutely depressed and I got to see jesus that night
(to clarify, no I have not actually done this.)
context on my points
- thought being stoned would make it easier/better but I just got paranoid
- fell asleep during like stage 3 or something and woke up mid stage 5... truly simulated dementia right there.
- was already depressed, got worse
- seriously don't drag it out it's already 6.5 hours I made it like 6.5 *days*
- the comments on the original album are mostly people sharing personal stories about dementia and their extreme (rational) fear of getting it themselves. Very sad, existential, and 90% of them just made me cry
2:58:38 His smile and optimism, gone.
XD
its now filled with fear
reduced to ashes
Pisica
ʰᵉ ʰᵃˢ ᶜʳᵘᵐᵇˡᵉᵈ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵛⁱˡ
Brad the ending is cus in ur last moments before death u have one final moment of clarity, it is actually realistic, I’m not a scientist or anything but I’m just going off of what another commenter said
Yeah, it's called "terminal lucidity".
it is terminal lucidity. it is a real thing that happens. its part of the dying process in some cases.
@@meg7610 EXACTLY. Thank you.
not everyone is lucky enough to experience terminal lucidity, no one knows what causes it, so for all we know it could actually be angels lmao
It’s not a universal constant, and a lot is unknown since it’s difficult to truly observe from the outside, but a lot of people at the end of their life tend to have a short period of things generally being better for them sometime prior to death.
My great grandmother that I lived with for 5 years had dementia. My grandmother took care of her due to her inability to take care of herself. I was present for the entire downfall of her sanity. It was rough. This album touched my soul and made me feel so horrible for what she must have went through. She passed away at the age of 100 in the house. She didn’t look at peace. Just very tired.
This album's main goal was to imitate dementia through music and it's album covers. And they did that goal, and with that, changed our perspective on life and helped us emphasize with the poor victims of this horrible disease.
i feel like the 4th and 5th are the scariest and the moment you get used to it you get peace at the 6th stage i honestly didnt cry at the whole experiment but still it was shocking
those last 6 minutes are just incredible. They simulate so much emotion, and although I was less spooked, I incredibly scared enjoyed the last 6 minutes of this track. I never have, (or will have) the time to finish this whole track, and to be honest those last 6 minutes were my favorite part. There was just so much to it, and although I didn’t even feel like crying, I was just conveyed with so much emotion. 10/10 if I ever have 6 hours of free time, will listen. Wow
The difference in his expression from 29:47 to 5:13:00 …. Yup…
My great nan used to sing a song called We'll Meet Again, by Vera Lynn, while she was in a nursing home, that was, for me horrifyingly similar to All That Follows Is True, and the second that played when i listened to stage 1 for the first time, i froze in place, she passed with dementia, and after this album im genuinely terrified of the disease
I know Vera Lynn, albeit from another place. She’s cool, she sadly died 2 years ago.
There is a fan album who has that song in the end instead of friends past reunited
@@JoacoPro-xu5mnwhich one pls tell me
I was so scared listening to this alone. But I when I found this I was so happy because it gave me the confidence to actually listen to this album. Thank you! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while!
Brad responded to someone a few minutes into Stage 4 with "you didn't miss much, the stage just started".
Made me reflect that what is taken from you at that stage is a sense of time, since the structure of the music is gone. When that person asked what he missed, the stage may as well have just started. Just like it is with dementia, you're trapped in a timeless, incomprehensible expanse. The project has such an appropriate name.
That made me think about how stage 3 might as well be the very beginning. You don't need context because you forgot what the context even was. It's just *that* distorted
It takes a man of true will power to sit through this entire album, I never have and probably never will as it's way to long for my liking but also, I wouldn't be able to get through it. So making through in one piece it is one hell of an achievement.
I always get that heavy feeling in your chest when you’re about to cry when the choir plays at the end
i can say from experience that by the 6 hour mark of a straight run through you find yourself in such a weird emotional state, it’s been hours of nothing but this,, the thoughts that run through your head get so extreme,, you think of relatives you miss, who had to go through this same feeling for years and it makes you feel selfish for crying when they can’t remember your name,, it’s intense. always loved your content and i avoided this one cause i felt that me listening to it on my own was an experience enough but to see so much validation for what i felt during my listen years later is kinda crazy. much love from the future my guy
My interpretation of the artwork for the full album:
Stage 1: I imagine that the family of "The Caretaker" put him in a memory care facility as early as they could to either try to familiarize him with the environment, or so there would always be someone to keep an eye on him. When he gets ready for bed, there's always someone there, making sure he changes and gets in bed safely, and they always carry a roll of clear bags in their pocket. A roll of liners, used by caregivers to gather clothes and change trash in his and all the others' rooms.
Stage 2: The years have gone by, and his family has visited him frequently. They watch as he very gradually deteriorates as Alzheimer's reaps its nightmarish reward. On this day, "The Caretaker's" wife has come with something he has slight trouble recognizing, between his despair of his condition and the condition doing its wretched work. She says her goodbyes and leaves the item. He stares at it for minutes before it finally comes to him: the vase they'd used to store the flowers from their marriage, their bright red roses now missing, his weary eyes seeing wilting flowers where there is is nothing, and a man and woman playfully running and dancing where there are handles.
Stage 3: It's getting worse. His wife hasn't visited much. Has she? That once familiar object has been morphed and ruined by his breaking mind. The vase and the imaginary flowers within have stretched and warped beyond any recognition. This small thing inspires great fear within "The Caretaker".
Stage 4: The memories are fleeting. The only things his rotting mind can manage to create are fear, pain, sadness, and the image of a lady. His wife? His mother? Some entirely random woman created by his mind as a desperate attempt to cling on to some sort of humanity? He doesn't know anymore.
Stage 5: Fear falls away to emptiness. Sadness falls away to silent agony. The same being he had conjured before has now been warped and ruptured beyond even the wildest of imaginations. "The Caretaker" only has a few moments of true awareness before that, too, falls into the void.
Stage 6: True emptiness. True agony. His mind has no ability to imagine anymore. The plaques show no mercy. The tangles only grow, like weeds on a bright summer day next to a clean river. Not that "The Caretaker" would know what any of those things are.
Stage 7: C'est Fini.
Le stage 7 😂
my interpretations for the art and music is this.
stage 1: the art i feel represents the patients mind. its a roll of paper but what could the paper be? a news paper? toilet paper? who knows. you can see a little bit of wrinkling on the bit that's sticking out. signifying the slow decline. during the stage i can imagine the patient in their house just thinking about the past. the glory of the old days.
stage 2: the art work shows a sadder tone. flowers in a broken pot. in this stage, i think the patient goes through the stages of grief. but unlike what most people think, i think that after "last moments of pure recall" the patient realizes that memory's are not just becoming distorted. there being destroyed. unable to remember some at all instead of parts just being a bit foggy. this causes the patient to be overrun with fear. in this stage the patient still remembers themselves and still has pure recall. but after this track. instead of the true decline being in the far future. its happening right now.
stage 3: the art i feel represents the spread of dementia. now overgrown and spreading like a parasite. the patient i feel in this stage is prioritizing on trying to keep memory's fully intact. and keep them from fading. its a long hard struggle to try and prevent the inevitable.
stage 4: the art i think represents the patient seeing someone they dont recognize. their care giver. someone that has just came into the house to help them with the rest of their days. the patient is this stage can no longer remember one single memory, instead if they try their brain starts giving them a flow of different memory's all tangled together. during the final track of stage 4, the patient slowly begins forgetting their sense of self, and their family. transitioning them into stage 5.
stage 5: the art represents what the patient thinks a human looks like. you can see human features in the mess of white but their all distorted. in this stage the patient slowly forgets everything. the first track they are hit with a feeling of horror when realizing they cant remember who they are. the second track is the start of their mental functions deteriorating. the third represents their brain mentally aging backwards. and the final track represents the lasts memory's being destroyed, until we are left with the void that is stage 6.
stage 6: the art represents the back of a canvas. facing away from the viewer. not letting us see what the art is. but in reality. even if it was turned around. the art it would just be completely and utterly *black. the entire painting would be a black background with nothing on it. because there is nothing left to show. its all gone.* in this stage the patient cant think anymore. they cant walk, or move, or eat, or drink, or do anything besides blinking and breathing. the last 5 minutes represents terminal lucidity. an uncommon phenomenon were the patient regains all their memory's. shortly before *death.* the last minute of silence represents the patient dying. and their suffering is finally over.
i dont have any grandparents anymore, but i remember a moment when my grandma was on her deathbed. I was just 4. Me and my mom sat there, watching her. She started mumbling incoherently and my mom couldnt take it. I only caught that last glimpse of my grandma before she passed away about a week later. Now I don’t think she had dementia, but she was indefinitely sick, as in she never could get up. Never really got to see my grandparents other than that moment. My older brother, however, loved her. He tells me she was a bundle of sunshine each time they visited. Love to hear that.
Just putting this here for myself:
STAGE 1
0:35 It's Just a burning memory
4:03 We don't have many days
7:31 Late afternoon drifting
11:11 Childishly fresh eyes
14:11 Slightly bewildered
16:12 Things that are beautiful and transient
20:43 All that follows is true
24:15 An autumnal eqinox
27:04 Quiet internal rebellions
30:35 The loves of my entire life
34:39 Into each others eyes
39:13 My heart will stop in joy
STAGE 2
42:33 A losing battle is raging
47:10 Misplaced in time
51:50 What does it matter how my heart breaks
54:25 Glimpses of hope in trying times
59:10 Surrendering to despair
1:04:15 I still feel as though i am me
1:08:25 Quiet dusk coming early
1:12:00 Last moments of pure recall
1:15:51 Denial unraveling
1:20:10 The way ahead feels lonely
STAGE 3
1:26:06 Back there Benjamin
1:30:20 And heart breaks
1:40:10 Hidden sea buried deep
1:41:45 Libet's all joyfull camaraderie
1:44:55 To the minimal great hidden
1:46:40 Sublime beyond loss
1:48:48 bewildered in other eyes
1:50:40 Long term dusk glimpses
1:54:15 Gradations of arms length
1:55:45 Drifting time misplaced
2:00:05 Internal bewildered world
2:03:30 Burning despair does ache
2:06:05 Aching cavern without lucidity
2:07:28 An empty bliss beyond this world
2:11:05 Libet delay
2:15:01 Mournful camaraderie
STAGE 4
2:22:00 Post awareness confusions 1
2:27:15 The way ahead feels lonely plays in reverse
2:30:30 heartaches segment
2:32:33 J1 chimes play beneath the cacophony
2:38:35 piano segment
2:44:14 Post awareness confusions 2
2:50:47 false mem syndrome (i think) 1
2:58:36 hell siren's
3:06:06 Temporary bliss state
3:27:07 Post awareness confusions 3
3:35:30 stage 4 version of stage 5
3:37:30 glimpses of hope in trying times
3:42:28 The calm before the storm
STAGE 5
3:59:00 Advanced plaque entanglements 1
4:00:39 homesick bird whistles Begin to play
4:02:55 clarity 1
4:04:50 clarity 2
4:06:26 The Fog 1 (new section)
4:06:56 whistling 1
4:08:04 snippets of temporary bliss state
4:08:25 whistling 2
4:08:37 snippet of H1
4:10:41 The Fog 2 (new section)
4:12:51 hell siren's 2
4:15:16 stage 4 J1 Chimes play quietly beneath the cacophony
4:15:47 new segment starts
4:17:20 peaceful clarity
4:18:10 mandolin solo
4:21:34 Advanced plaque entanglements 2
4:23:35 false mem syndrome 2
4:25:04 heartaches tries to play
4:26:27 false mem syndrome 3
4:26:40 Lombardo's heartaches starts to play
4:27:20 farewell blue's segment
4:30:50 N1 starts to play in background
4:46:55 Synapse retrogenesis
4:59:40 hell siren's 3
5:07:42 Sudden time regression into
isolation
5:08:44 Graduations of arms length tries to play for the duration of N1
5:09:57 sublime beyond loss
5:10:18 quiet internal rebellion
5:13:09 drifting time misplaced plays but reversed and slower
5:13:50 sublime beyond loss 2
5:14:13 piano clarity
5:14:24 drifting time misplaced played for a second, then played slowly in reverse
5:14:50 a broken melody starts to play
5:15:12 first drone appearance
5:21:18 Final stage 5 clarity
STAGE 6
5:37:25 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting
5:54:18 piano clarity
6:02:17 A brutal bliss beyond this empty
defeat
6:12:35 stage 5 starts to fade in quietly
6:16:18 hell sirens 4
6:16:42 false mem syndrome 4
6:20:48 trumpet clarity
6:21:07 the haunted ballroom plays for a second
6:21:33 trumpet clarity
6:24:13 Long decline is over
6:25:56 trumpet clarity
6:27:04 hearts
6:29:29 hearts 2
6:31:44 hearts 3
6:36:50 Loudest drone
6:40:35 clarity
6:44:00 Last trumpet clarity
6:46:10 Place in the world fade's away
6:52:35 Organ segment
7:01:15 Terminal lucidity
Props to the one who said "emo kids in the 1940s" somewhere around stage 1 lmao.
The fact I read your comment when it just happened 💀 it’s at 9:57
@krazykaidit's RUclips doing that it's not a coincidence
Fr tho 💀
@krazykaid dam bro u furry 💀💀
3:48:55 the way that stage 5 started as he was looking at the last portrait thoughhhh
HOLY SHIT what an experience. Really creepy.
At "A Losing Battle is Raging," I just love the face of pure "What the hell have I just signed up for"
2:22:00 sounds like two or three different radio stations trying to come in at once but their signals all suck. Not creepy as much as frustrating, because it's relatable.
It's supposed to be, Alzheimers is unbelievably frustrating to those afflicted by it.
I litteraly jumped because of the transition. Its so "out of nowhere"
What a fuckin champ. Actually sitting through this. Damn homie. Btw, the end really does represent, the sweet release of death. People talk about it and you probably hear that phrase a lot. But after suffering from dementia, seeing that final light and hearing the songs of the angels must really be such a beautiful release. A wonderful light at the end of an endless tunnel. You don’t realize you’re there, until everything you lost rushes back, then you realize you’re soul is released.
people feel the emotions that are being portrayed in such a strong and intense way it’s almost unbearable, even tho some these emotions aren’t necessarily completely bad. it’s complicated feelings like nostalgia, a bitter sweet remembrance of what was and what will never be again. happy memories of a person you loved can make you miserable and depressed. it especially effects people who’s mental health already is already deteriorating. it can give people anxiety of growing old, of missing out on life. the music being faded and distorted and repeating can make someone feel out of body, watching themselves from an outsiders perspective. i myself listened to this originally when my mental health was absolutely horrid, once i hit stage 5 i had to stop because it was too overwhelming. the mental illness this album portrays is so incredibly horrific and terrifying, it gave me so much anxiety about growing old and getting dementia. the whole thing became my worst fear. i stopped sleeping, i just couldn’t do it. i was so paranoid all the time i couldn’t sleep with the light off. constant anxiousness that just wouldn’t stop. i’m one million percent serious in saying DONT LISTEN TO THIS IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME. DONT LISTEN IF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ISNT GOOD. PLEASE. anyway viewer discretion is advised! good luck if you do decide to listen to this :)
56:27 the face of temporary bliss
That pfp is so adorable I can’t
Your RUclips banner tho…. Not so much 💀
@@roverclover3178 lmaooo
Nice to see you here!
@@roverclover3178 got rid of the banner now lmao
I've done this before on my own, I sat through and just listened to it. broke me. and when i say 'broke me' I mean I had to sit down because I was crying too hard. it's an amazing piece of work that needs a lot more publicity.
I came here just for the hell sirens :/
seriously, his sudden expression change at 2:58:38 is just priceless.
I wanted to listen to this album I saw this video, so I figured I'll listen to this with your video. It'll probably make it a lot more easier to listen to. Here we go
This really was a wild ride
for some reason the reply makes this kinda funny to me
This was the first video I really properly watched about it and now my RUclips has been filled filled this sort of content for the past month. Not really complaining, it's been fun listening to all the video projects and fan made versions of it. It's definitely been an experience. And I really owe it all to this video, so I thought I'd come back to it one last time.
The word "bliss" means a kind of perfect happiness or joy, coming from the proto-Germanic blithsjo. But it is also conflated in origins with the word "bless," and more importantly, it is related to the Old English "blithe," "showing a casual and cheerful indifference considered to be callous or improper." I'm guessing Caretaker had some of this philology in mind when speaking of an "empty bliss" or "brutal bliss."
i took a walk through the woods to see the fall colors yesterday and the whole time “we don’t have many days” was playing in my head. i grew up listening to classical music on records and walking through the woods with my grandparents. i wish i could do it all again
“i miss the melodies :/ im tryna hang onto this last bit before it gets worse” stage 2 perfectly put into layman’s terms :( as someone who’s had to care for several people with dementia all at once, it was one of the most stressful times of my life. not only being a caregiver, but knowing how complex the disease is. after my first handful of months being a cna, i couldn’t stop having panic attacks. thinking about how “it could be me in that state” just unsettled me so much. this is by no means an easy listen and i think it’s important more people are taught about the disease so we can spread more awareness for a cure. although it’s heavy, it makes complete sense that music/sounds would be the medium to portray dementia because music is a powerful thing that most people with the disease hold onto. i had a resident who LOVED playing piano and she’d go away at those keys for ages :,) …the way this artist bends, morphs, and distorts these tunes is honestly probably one of the most digestible ways someone can get remotely close to knowing what it’s like…i’m glad brad did a stream on this because god knows i wouldn’t be able to get through this project all by my lonesome.
shout out to the dude that asked if dubstep was gonna play at terminal lucidity
4:00:44 I was actually genuinely happy to hear a full whistle. After HOURS of garbled mess that your brain is trying and failing to make sense of or even recognize as a singular sound, voice, instrument, noise, object, ANYTHING; hearing something the brain could actually define was so refreshing.
2:59:54 Is legit the scariest part
Reminds of the Nothing from Never Ending Story 1
Hells Sirens
Each time I hear that part I get chills
The first song made me smile and warmed my heart but at the same time gave me a sense that something was super off and creepy
It's cause its old
7:08:20 the ending may refer to terminal lucidity where a demented person’s symptoms suddenly improve shortly before death.
I think it simbolyzes more the ascention to heaven after death and the children singing in the funeral
@@ricky.t.1658 Its art, it can be interpreted in many ways.
I didn’t like the ending at first because it was so out of place and almost a silly way to end such a brutal project, but with this phenomena in mind it makes so much sense.
@@Rockmint why?
bro i would never wish dementia on my worst enemy bro
How bout Diddy 💀💀
thank u for helping me experience this workkkk. so much easier listening knowing someone else is also experiencing it lol
I feel like the album is slowly striping me of all of the memories of the first part in a slow grueling way.
EATEOT reaction videos are pretty much the only kind of reaction videos I like to watch, and so far I really like yours. 2:56:48 I wouldn't have imagined I'd chuckle in the middle of Stage 4, but your lyrics and deadpan delivery here were hilarious. :D
The only thing more terrifying than the unknown is the distorted familiar.
I'm so glad he took chat's advice before jumping into stage 4
I remember this is how i found brad and opened up whole new world of music
The angels singing part is in the melody of the first song, it's like a final "hurrah" before the light dims and the forget how to breath
The fact that this became mainstream is odd as hell. I don't think anyone could have predicted that.
Watching your reaction to EATEOT somehow made listening to the whole thing more palatable for me, and you were brave in listening to it all the way through my dude. But if you want even more... Listen to The Carebear's "Everywhere In The Beginning Of Nowhere". It's the same thing essentially, done with different songs that descends into dementia like madness, except this version is 9 HOURS LONG instead of 7. It's just... better, and a bit easier to listen to as well.
(also it was done by A 14 YEAR OLD, AND I CANNOT STRESS HOW ACTUALLY GENUINE AND QUALITY IT IS)
A 14yo made an Everywhere At The End Of Time style album?
No, it was not made by a 14 year old. :\ Please actually look up the creator of EATEOT instead of believing false rumors
@@l0newolfgang ruclips.net/video/c-hmWOZ77uY/видео.html this. Not the original EATEOT. Reading comprehension my friend.
@@l0newolfgang theres not much info on him considering its a fan album but the top results on google are that hes 14 and i dont see anything else so im believing that
2:58:38 he was so happy, and cheerful,
Until the hell sirens played
7:01:17 literally someone said swans fans be like: just wait this is the good part
Brad: "Theres not gonna be any smiling here"
Everywhere at the end of time try not to laugh challenge (HILARIOUS) [GONE WRONG]
I think the main reason it was too much to suspend your disbelief on the final track was because the real-world inspiration is actually quite esoteric. This may or may not come as common knowledge, but there is actually a phenomenon wherein patients suffering from dementia can in some cases regain sudden and complete lucidity- but only in the final moments before death. This is known medically as terminal lucidity for that reason, and it's probably not even as uncommon of an occurrence as you'd think- and the craziest part is, there's not even any actual medical explanation yet for why or how this can happen.
...You know, stuff like this is what really gets me thinking. What even... _Is_ dementia exactly...? I mean, if their memories aren't truly being erased, what's actually happening to these people? Is it really taking away their identity? Or is it... More like it's taking away the ability for them to actually express it?
I believe it's the brain loosing pathways to the memories. The memories are still there but the ways back to them are locked forever. The brain tries hard to make new pathways to the memory but forgets other memories are there when creating a new one. Causing entanglements.
plaque eats away at the brain and shrinks it. this causes decline in motor function, speech, or gait over time because, like another person said, those pathways aren’t there anymore. this is why you see a lot of parkinson’s paired with dementia :( …devastating. but that’s why one of the segments is named after it
Literally was listening to it today for the first time. Made it through 20 mins before I fell asleep lol. It’s not that it’s boring, it’s just hard to get into. I’m gonna try to listen to it again soon, it’s just that with this sort of album, you have to be in the right state of mind.
When I got to stage 6 the first part of it sounded like the static turned into the sound of waves crashing on a beach and I was too relaxed after the stage prior not to fall asleep