The last couple of years, I thought I was in a good healing place. This year I realized I was just good at masking and it wasn’t as deep inner work as I thought 😳
I think one of the really difficult things for us FAs to do is to learn to take less emotional responsibility. We need to take less responsibility for other people’s emotions and much more for our own. A weird thing I’m learning is that it’s actually ok to hurt other people. We of course try to be compassionate, communicate, try not to be cruel, but beyond these things hurting people and getting hurt is just part of life and I think this is one of the great terrors us FAs are trying to run away from. We want to prevent feeling hurt so soooooo badly both ourselves and others. But that’s not really fully in our control and frankly we kind of infantalize others by assuming they can’t handle being hurt. And it’s a hugely useful skill for us to learn to survive being hurt ourselves.
Ugh this 100%. For most of my life "hurting others" has been one of my greatest fears, but in avoiding 'hurting others', I've definitely done more net harm than good 😔. Here's to working on ourselves! 🥳
Thank you so much Pauline! I had a great few months of growth, but recently i had a tiny relapse. Its hard not to feel like im going backwards even though ive grown so much. Your videos help put me back on track :)
Thank for this it really helped my brother to not only see my perspective but also except where he's struggling with this himself from the home we came from, it's a work in progress but you definitely help more the needle in the right direction. all the best
The last couple of years, I thought I was in a good healing place. This year I realized I was just good at masking and it wasn’t as deep inner work as I thought 😳
Same here
I think one of the really difficult things for us FAs to do is to learn to take less emotional responsibility. We need to take less responsibility for other people’s emotions and much more for our own. A weird thing I’m learning is that it’s actually ok to hurt other people. We of course try to be compassionate, communicate, try not to be cruel, but beyond these things hurting people and getting hurt is just part of life and I think this is one of the great terrors us FAs are trying to run away from. We want to prevent feeling hurt so soooooo badly both ourselves and others. But that’s not really fully in our control and frankly we kind of infantalize others by assuming they can’t handle being hurt. And it’s a hugely useful skill for us to learn to survive being hurt ourselves.
Ugh this 100%. For most of my life "hurting others" has been one of my greatest fears, but in avoiding 'hurting others', I've definitely done more net harm than good 😔. Here's to working on ourselves! 🥳
Replayed 3 times, I find this such important information- thank you Paulien and delivering it in such an empathetic way!
Thank you so much Pauline! I had a great few months of growth, but recently i had a tiny relapse. Its hard not to feel like im going backwards even though ive grown so much. Your videos help put me back on track :)
Thank for this it really helped my brother to not only see my perspective but also except where he's struggling with this himself from the home we came from, it's a work in progress but you definitely help more the needle in the right direction. all the best