I'm just like you, bro. You're not alone. I also felt this "passive hostility" with my "friends" in college. Right now, I'm completely alone at home, and I honestly have no desire to get involved with people again.
This is genuinely such a calming and relaxing video!! I felt really comforted knowing there's someone who shares similar struggles as I do. It's really awesome that you've set a goal for yourself to improve your life and it only inspires me to do so as well. You're definitely not alone. I'm cheering you on!
This video hits real hard, I've been struggling with almost the exact same way as you, im always the punching bag almost all of their jokes are directed to me and are just straight up insults, I try to play it cool by laughing but deep down im really hurt. So right now, I'm distancing myself from them as much as possible
I also often feel like people avoid me intentionally. They make excuses to not be in a group with me on a school project, ghosting what I said when they clearly heard it (repeating it won't even work), haphazardly answering during conversation, and etc. I am constantly trying to interact with them, but everyone is awkward towards me, and this paints the picture that "I" am awkward. It's very annoying even though they are the ones that shy away when I talk to them. This is when I realized, there is no such thing as a socially awkward person, just a socially awkward situation, and how a few bad strokes of luck can push someone to be in that situation permanently in that said group. I learned it the hard way. If you have interests that diverge from your social group, you are a failure. Nobody cares what you care about. They value you as much as you are worth. To prove your worth, you have to start liking what they like, and if you can't accept that, you just stay lonely. There's nothing wrong with that. You are free to be a failure. But either option hurts at times. To be yourself and be alone, or to have lots of friends but be empty from the inside. Everyone is given some choice. Some are just more complicated than others. To put it simply, we have evolved to fit in. Years and years of evolution brought us here. But if you are lacking in that aspect thanks to your genes, tough luck I guess. I was just born with disabilities that make you naturally unlikable. That's me, I was born with lots of problems. I didn't have a choice, but I also do in the sense that I can choose to hide it. I made the choice to not hide it, so I'm lonely. Do what you want with your life, but the consequences are yours to handle. My motor in friendship is simple, "You can be friends with me if you want, but I'm not gonna put in the effort to keep you around because I care as much as you care about me. And I already know the answer to how much... You don't." If you are reading this, just know that luck does come to people at times. It might not come to me, but that's alright. There are a lot of things in life aside from friendship.
I understand you, Im always the “joke” in my friend group they literally always go against me in anything. They call me names even after I told them, to stop, even when I tell them to stop they just mimic my voice making “fun” of me for that specific thing being said about me by some of my favourite people. Im starting to really despise going to school just becuase I know its gonna be another gruelling 7 hours of just being laughed at. And I also agree im much more social with my friends and like I find them really funny, I really love my friends but it doesnt feel like they love me.
I'm in a very similar situation. My friends at my college (I'm British so it's quite different to an American college), don't ever make an effort to contact me. I'm always left behind. And if I want anything to happen with them, I always have to make the first step. Honestly, online friendships work so much better. You always find your people. I know it's not the same as having friends you can hang out with IRL, but honestly it's refreshing having a group of people you can relate to and have a level of maturity that you also hold.
With my friends i suddenly felt like i was just stuck with my friends and couldnt get away from them and then they started doing stuff i didnt think was fun so i didnt wanna be with them so i tried to stay away and avoid them. When i got older (high school) while i got bullied by alot of guys in my grade, my "friends" also made fun of me and i felt rejected and alone. Until i decided not to stay with them anymore and now i dont talk to any of them.
This is really relatable. When we have a new member in our friend group they just completely ignored me, is like I'm being replace by this new girl, and she's not mean either, she's actually really nice. I really don't want to leave the friend group, I still obviously wanna have friends, but i don't think this friend group appreciate and value me, I'm also scared to socialize and meet new people. Really sad that a lot of people have to go through this, hopefully your situation gets better
I’m 22 and I’m in a very similar situation, but I ended up cutting off most of my old “friends” from high school as they saw me as their punching bag and were overall incredibly toxic. It hurts, it makes you feel so unwanted and so alone in this world. I hope things will get better for you and you can find genuine friends who help lift you up and feel good about yourself rather than treat you like a doormat, because you deserve so much better than that! I’m so glad RUclips recommended your video to me and you’ve definitely earned a new subscriber! 💯😁
Damn dude I didn’t realize how bad people would feel about that kinda stuff. I was the butt of a lot of jokes but they don’t affect me too much. One of my friends was made fun of more harshly than me and I never really understood how he felt or why he grew distant from the group. I can see that this must’ve been how he was feeling. I also know that it can be tough for some people (me) to actually reach out to people to do things out of fear of rejection. I think this is pretty common, so just keep that in mind.
I watched the whole video, hope you get better friends who care a lot and I hope they start to appreciate you.. I can relate to most of these as my friends also do the same things to me like the offensive jokes they tell me over and over again, I have difficulty making new friends, how I always start the conversation but they never start it to me, and they never invite me to go out but always invites others. Man I really hope you get better friends in the future who’s always there for you. This video also made me kind of reflect on my social life thank you.
Broooooo this is making my 16 to 18 year old self so mad you remind me so much of me literally lol like all us humans want is to feel wanted and needed honestly I really do appreciate your love for friendship
Had a whole friend group like this. Had to step away. I didn’t want to, cuz a lot of them I knew for a while and bonded with for years. But the disrespect was just too much. So you’re not alone in that. Best thing we can do is be the type of person we’d want to be our friend. Then similar people get drawn to that. Sounds kinda crazy but it works. Gl out there bro.
this is so relatable its almost bringing me to tears. i was in a toxic friend group and ive been slowly drifting away from them over time and im also not sure how to remake close friends. im trying to look for 'good' people but i dont know how to find them so im in a really bad position with no close friends but i think i feel better alone than with them as you also said.
This is very relatable. I also feel like I’m the punching bag of the group. They always say very hurtful things to me and sometimes just blatantly just insult me. After they apologize to me saying that they didn’t know I was so hurt by their words but it keeps happening over and over again and then their apologies just feel meaningless
Hey man, I understand entirely. I honestly felt the same for as long as I could remember, until I met my new friends, and girlfriend. Some old friends have really just became bullies, because what they do is convince you they're your friends, but it's only a manipulative tactic. I recommend simply ignoring them, and if they ask why, stay calm. Just simply say "I don't like how you've been blatantly disrespecting me man." Now those toxic old friends are out of my life, and I've found people who genuinely care about me. I believe in you dude, even though I'm only a freshman, everyone, including the both of us have advice we can share to anyone.
Hello, I am a junior. My freshman year i fealt the same exact way... till my gf broke up with me, friends leave me in the dust, grades were in the trash, health was at an all time low. Truth be told, I miss those days. Maybe a bit more than I should. I put 70% of the work into that relationship, yet I still feel no purpose. Worst part is I willingly put my mind through Hell and lost my sense of right and wrong. Please, dont make the same mistake I did. If she leaves, grief but dont hurt. Hurting them only makes you feel worse.
I get you man. I clicked on the vid and the title hit me. I remember only having one friend group from 8th grade to freshmen year and i thought i meant something to them. I moved schools at the end of freshmen year and they never contacted me or asked how i was doing while i was always asking to hang out with them and curious what theyve been up to. It hurt like hell to see them all together going on trick or treating and the beach together. Im 20 now and im chilling now by myself and i dont mind it nor do i want friends anymore but looking back on those things they made me who i am today when all i wanted was some sort of supporting group i could be apart of but that never happened
I feel like I am partially discontinued in my own group of friends as well, the only ones I feel capable of meeting are the ones I do not really want to be friends with. I recently saw a video that stated that it is the process of becoming a more justified person, and that it is a phase of such that you feel like you do not fit in your friends, yet you are not yet confident enough to become friends with those you wish to be friends with. I hope that insight bestows something.
Youll find the right group. When i went through this, it got really bad. Like life-ending bad. But then i realized that there are always people who care. If you dont think they care, leave. You dont deserve that kind of energy in your life - im sure you are such a kind, caring person. When you find that right person, stick with them for as long as you can. For me, i was manipulated into admitting i have a crush on one of my other friends. They went on to spread that info around the whole school. But even though im 99% sure that my crush knows, they havent brought it up or been talking about it. I havent told them about it anyway cuz i dont want them being uncomfortable. But yea, just keep pushing to find the right group! Youll find it eventually, i know you will. I subbed btw. Hope that boosts your mood a bit :)
Hey brother! Sorry to hear youre going through it but I believe its a growing period that stems from growing up. I found good friends through similar interests, hobbies sports or whatever you enjoy! Then through the people you meet, some just gel. You develop that just through conversation over time, it gets better! I believe in you! You dont even have to necessarily cut your friends off, just dont pay them mind. When meeting new people, i listen for topics or people they sound interested in while talking, from there ask questions about that! If theyre passionate the conversation starts easy and just ask them about their interests, they will almost always reciprocate and keep delving! Good luck and godspeed!
i feel the exact same way. been trying to reach out to the one friend i have that isnt a complete asshole and who supposedly cares about me but its been so pathetic that i dont even wanna talk about it. usually i would waste my time writing a big comment about myself but theres no point really
hi) I came across your video completely by accident, and I did not expect at all that it relates so much to what I'm experiencing in my group of friends. it always seemed to me that I was too "low-energy" for them, because of that I was always the third wheel. now we almost don't talk to each other, and I do not feel that I've lost much. I have few friends and generally people with who i talk from time to time. because of this, I notice more and more just how socially awkward I am. I tried to find new friends, talk to new people, but inside it can be so hard to even get words out. it's reassuring to know that so many people have the same thing (as selfish as it sounds). good luck to you! and in general to everyone who is going through a similar period in life. it's difficult, especially when everyone around seems to be so socially adjusted and just generally social (though it might not always be true).
i used to be like u bro and all i can say if u feel ur friends dont value u at the same level u value them , u can either ditch them which may be awkward or u can bounce back overly harsh when made fun of which is more aggressive but in the end I found a group of friends that I love and I think we all value each other fairly for the most part. I know completely what you mean when you say that they just keep picking on u for that one thing for enjoyment also the fact that they don't celebrate each others accomplishments is a huge red flag. my advice: find new friends, friends are one of the best things in the world.
Hey, just wanted to hop in here and say I get it. I’ve been in a lot of friend groups where I feel like the odd man out. But I want to tell you now as an adult that things will get better. Luck may not just magically find you, but by allowing yourself to sit with things can really help you figure out how you should go about things moving forward. I can tell you right now as someone who grew up very isolated, it took me a long time to find the motivation (hell even the means) to make friends my age after leaving my high school friend group. You’re still in a setting where you can make friends your age a lot more easily, and even then, I can tell you from experience you can still meet great people your age after high school. Don’t be afraid to say hi to someone, start a conversation, and just see where it goes. Learning to stand strong against rejection and loneliness is a skill, and that is something I can tell you upfront. But I promise you it is something you can learn, and you will get better at it the more you try and stay strong. You’ve got this Sorry if this was rambley, just wanted to give some advice cus I saw a bit of my experiences in here. Hope this wasn’t a lot lol. Hope you’re doing ok👍
hi, i might have insight on this since i'm well past high school and even college; i am 23 and i'm already working. in all honesty, what life has told me so far is that it will take some time to find your people (and by that I mean people who understand you completely and are there for you when you need them). some though are luckier, and find them earlier in life. and this could be because of a number of reasons, that people can AND cannot control. so be patient in finding new acquaintances and friends if you're interested in still making them. ++ be aware of friendship styles and also what other people expect from the friendship (e.g. some people prefer low-effort/low maintenance friendships, whereas others have high expectations from their friends). i think this can save a lot of hurt when certain expectations of what a friend should be [for you] isn't met. as for being like a punching bag, i totally get how it feels--i've been seen as a class clown in high school but i couldn't yet distinguish if i was deemed one because i was funny, or laughable. i try not to think too hard on it honestly, because it does hurt to think about it still. but, life will happen anyway; and eventually, you'll get out of those circumstances that make makes living difficult. you're a senior, about to pursue a degree in college or uni (i presume). in any case, make the best out of your senior year, still seek friendships outside of that group that treat you that way. or you can try to save the friendship (though you state that the effort is one-sided). at my age, i find that seeking and keeping a community of people you can trust is tantamount to a happier and more fulfilling life. it is always worth trying to find good company; this is what keeps you grounded and safe for real... good luck with your endeavors! and to anyone else who might have read this comment, i wish you luck too. c:
I graduated from my country’s version of highschool, and ours is structured in a different way so we choose what focus to have, so you find more like-minded people. Still I found it really hard to know what to do when my friends all had closer friends than me. My friends are amazing, and i won’t be distancing myself from them, but it has still been tough to be the one reaching out to meet up, and if I don’t nothing happens. Id say try to find new friends, and in the meantime also try to bring this up with your closest friends (if you dare). It really improved my relationship with a couple of my friends that understood and said they did want to hang out but just aren’t very good at organising things so I often become the leader. I’ve never had anxiety in the same way you seem to do but I can completely understand it been really tough socially. Id say a good way to make new friends and build on that confidence is to try make conversations in classes, even if it doesn’t lead to a friend. Because it’ll become easier and easier until you can might be able make conversation with some stranger in most places, which gives a higher chance of becoming friends with someone. You also seem to say that you want to hang out with people all the time but also love being alone, and for that part I truly relate. I think it is when you don’t feel fulfilled in your relationships with others you try to interact as much as possible with them and hope it helps, plus if you like someone of course you want to spend time with them. Even just not dissing your friends but having a different group can help fulfill you enough that you can talk to your original group every now and then and not be desperate for more. I truly hope you can find some people that value you as much as they should, and although I’m just 2 years older and not the wisest person in the world if you wanna chat about anything and get some hopefully okay advice just tell me. Good luck!
Hey man, im a year older than you in college. I get this feeling entirely. Towards the end of my time in highschool, i felt more and more the way you do. People are figuring out who they want to be and changing rapidly. Especially in senior year. I think its just important to realize that this friend group your a part of will probably only last one more year 🫤. Most high school friendships die out through college. One of the best ways i have learned to cope with growing further from those i thought i was close to was to realize that these relationships are liquad and they come and go. Its better for everyone to not fight it. Even if that sounds cold, it dramatically reduces yhe strain on all parties. Its not uncommon for friendships to die out in 3 years. About the limit of highschool. One of the more rough aspects about this is that you are limited in highschool. The cliques have already formed so its difficult to put yourself out there. I just want to tell you, it gets easier after senior year. Fresh starts are more important than most people can imagine.
18 year old who graduated last year. I did face some social anxiety in year 12 and I think it's normal to focus on your studies but branching out to more people won't hurt! I've heard about so many friendships falling outs and your experience is unfortunately quite common. It shouldn't be though. You should communicate what specific behaviours/jokes actually hurt you and why to them. Sometimes, those types of people actually care about you and change by learning how they can improve. What helped me was putting in effort straight away in University to hang out with people. The sooner the better. The longer you sit in the same class and don't make the first move, the harder it is to start, but you don't need to stick with them. This can be applied to work as well and maybe you might hang out outside of work. Ask what they do in their spare time, their plans before or after work/study. I've noticed that validating people by saying "and that's ok" when they tell me that they haven't done much tends to make them more comfortable around me and more likely to open up, but it takes time. Put in a bit of effort to learn about their interests. Actively seek new experiences to talk about, even if it's something rly really small or something on the internet that interests you. Once you start talking about what interests you, you stop acting like an NPC and they start seeing you as a human. It feels more relatable and they open up about their personalities too. Ik high school and socialisation can be scary but since you've experienced what's it like to be picked on, you can easily empathise with others. Other people will appreciate your empathy.
I get u man, it sucks feeling like they don’t value you as much as u value them yk, I saw this video on my recommended and I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten more attention. No matter what you’ll be able to find real ppl who will value you for u and keep up the good work! The whole mc video ramble is so nice to listen to as background noise :)
I really liked this video and thank you for sharing what’s going on in your life. You’ve made me reflect on myself as a friend and how it’s possible one of my friends could be feeling how you do. I want to try to be a better friend. I’ve known someone since third grade and this past year I’ve barely talked to them. They’ve slowly just grown apart from my friend group and it makes me really sad. They always respond when I text them but I’m only the one who ever starts a conversation between us. I just am really scared to lose them.
I'm in a similar situation. I always am the one who starts conversations that they don't want to even engage in anymore. Glad to know there are a lot of people with this same kind of situation going through.
Hey dude, i feel like i'm in a similar situation to you rn, since like 6th grade i've never really felt like my friends were actually close with me, like everyone else had closer friends and i was just left out (just started 12th grade in Aus), and its probably just gotten worse over the years cause rn i'm in a group I 'joined' last year since some friends from like year 5-6 are who are part of that group are in my classes again, and it just feels like i'm forcing them to have me around during class and at lunch and stuff, I feel lucky because i'm not really made fun of at all, but its like i'm almost invisible when it comes to actual connection i guess? (which might even be worse tbh) like they're happy to talk and be without me, and since i've got pretty bad social anxiety i have trouble actually becoming part of the conversation, like i'm just kinda orbiting around the friend group without properly engaging? and none of them have any interest in doing stuff outside of school (haven't been actually *invited* to something outside of school for a couple years at this point) but the worst part is that since i'm really anxious I also don't invite people to do stuff 😐 its just a really annoying and honestly depressing cycle and i'm sick of sitting around both wanting and not wanting to make stuff change. I don't really have a grand point i guess i just wanted to vent 🤷🏻♂, but I really hope things get better for you, remember you aren't alone in this and we will eventually find the people (or person) we belong with, however long we've gotta thug it out for.
The friends you make in highschool can turn out to be some of the best friends you can ever make, the strongest bond you can have, but it doesn't always turn out that way. Some of my closest friends come from that period of time in my life - exactly two people. But nowadays, I don't talk to those people very frequently. Some of the other friends I've made, through shared interests and shared fandoms. One of these people include my partner, who I could not imagine my life without today. I talk to these people every single day; and they aren't the friends that I made in school. Communication is always very important in relationships, romantic or platonic or otherwise, but if you feel like you're not welcome in your friend group, then that's your gut reaction trying to tell you something. Whether you need new friends or you need to talk to the ones you already have, things as they are may not be able to stay. It's not fun to be in a friend group where you feel like you don't belong. Trust me, I know. Highschool is a period of time where you can feel like you're at your worst. If your friends don't appreciate you, that's an issue that may be as easy as talking to them, if they're willing to listen. But it also may not be. Friends are so special and important throughout our entire lives, and we need to make sure to get some good ones. You may find your best and closest friends through the most unconventional means. I know I did.
hey, this video was really solid, usually I don't comment on videos but your content is relatable in a way. You shouldn't have to feel like your forcing friendship, they should reciprocate the same effort you put in. But I really hope you find the people that respect and deserve you. i know I don't know your situation specifically to comment on it, but you could maybe try talk to other people in your classes? and see if anything happens from there. Keep up the content though, i'm looking forward to more videos. :)
This is really sad I hope it gets better for you I have been going through something like that for almost 3 years now its not worth it I really hope it gets better for you honestly you deserve better trust me.
Many friendships take a lot of time before they develop into something special. However, it's just as common for them to stay stagnant and not grow. Some people don't want a closer friendship and are comfortable where they are at. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Not every friend will be your best friend and it's okay to have friendships that are relatively surface level, but it's definitely tough when friend A puts more effort into it than friend B but friend B acts like they don't care. I'd be upset if my friend group started dissing me too. Does the entire friend group actively make fun of you or is it mainly one person that does it? Maybe that one person has a really bad sense of humor. Either case, it's important to take care of yourself and know that it's not the end of the world if things don't go your way. If I'd had any advice to give, I'd say don't be discouraged when you're forced to start over or when the efforts you put into improving your life isn't showing enough results. Things take time before you're able get yourself unstuck and really learn how to approach things
i dont think its your fault for "not speaking up" and feeling left out. i do have quieter friends, and even though theyre not talking, i know theyre listening, and my friends and i will still ask for their input and try to involve them. youre only 17, its perfectly normal to mature and outgrow your high school friends. if you go to college, you'll meet plenty of new people, and maybe even make better friends since (hopefully) these people are at a point in their life where they are more mature than high schoolers. even if you dont go to college, theres always tons of cool and interesting people if you try to expand your horizon! i think after senior year, youll really see who will try to keep in touch since people tend to spread out after high school, so i think things will kinda just resolve on their own if you just go with the flow
i did not see the vid yet but just the title made me say oof in my brain , but i suffer like that the jokes about you ,for example when you play a game with them if there is roles they always make you the most insignificant rule doesnt it happen? (im seeing the video while talking) and btw if anyone answers i can respond (oh btw) doesnt it seem that the people that are , i guess, good people? the good people are way more bullyed , im a bit less old i am not in highschool yet but im close , and since my friends gotten into a diferent classes they do all sorts of things ... witouth me. just one of the friends in the friend group apreciate me but only when im alone , if im with them in the freind group they stiil treat me cold (if someone answers and smth ill answer you back , im not really that occupied since its not exam time yet)
I don't have much context, but i will say, in regards to you reaching out to your friends, but them not reaching out to you, it's possible you're just friends with a lot of introverts who aren't very interested in going out of their way to interact with people in general, and not necessarily you. this very well might not be the case though, since you've said you're friends often make fun of you, which might have been funny if they were one off insults, but the fact they've said the same ones repeatedly seems to imply that they really mean what they're saying and may actually feel negatively towards you, and are disguising their rude behavior behind the excuse of a joke. idk why i wrote so fancily I'm very non-formal in person when i don't get to think for 10 seconds about what word I'm gonna say next.
I know im just a random person on the internet to you, but i just want you to know that i care. I know nothing about you, but i hope that things get better.😊
I'm just like you, bro. You're not alone. I also felt this "passive hostility" with my "friends" in college. Right now, I'm completely alone at home, and I honestly have no desire to get involved with people again.
This. Passive hostility is such a good way to articulate it.
This is genuinely such a calming and relaxing video!! I felt really comforted knowing there's someone who shares similar struggles as I do. It's really awesome that you've set a goal for yourself to improve your life and it only inspires me to do so as well. You're definitely not alone. I'm cheering you on!
This video hits real hard, I've been struggling with almost the exact same way as you, im always the punching bag almost all of their jokes are directed to me and are just straight up insults, I try to play it cool by laughing but deep down im really hurt.
So right now, I'm distancing myself from them as much as possible
I also often feel like people avoid me intentionally. They make excuses to not be in a group with me on a school project, ghosting what I said when they clearly heard it (repeating it won't even work), haphazardly answering during conversation, and etc.
I am constantly trying to interact with them, but everyone is awkward towards me, and this paints the picture that "I" am awkward. It's very annoying even though they are the ones that shy away when I talk to them.
This is when I realized, there is no such thing as a socially awkward person, just a socially awkward situation, and how a few bad strokes of luck can push someone to be in that situation permanently in that said group.
I learned it the hard way. If you have interests that diverge from your social group, you are a failure. Nobody cares what you care about. They value you as much as you are worth. To prove your worth, you have to start liking what they like, and if you can't accept that, you just stay lonely. There's nothing wrong with that. You are free to be a failure. But either option hurts at times. To be yourself and be alone, or to have lots of friends but be empty from the inside. Everyone is given some choice. Some are just more complicated than others.
To put it simply, we have evolved to fit in. Years and years of evolution brought us here. But if you are lacking in that aspect thanks to your genes, tough luck I guess. I was just born with disabilities that make you naturally unlikable. That's me, I was born with lots of problems. I didn't have a choice, but I also do in the sense that I can choose to hide it. I made the choice to not hide it, so I'm lonely.
Do what you want with your life, but the consequences are yours to handle.
My motor in friendship is simple, "You can be friends with me if you want, but I'm not gonna put in the effort to keep you around because I care as much as you care about me. And I already know the answer to how much... You don't."
If you are reading this, just know that luck does come to people at times. It might not come to me, but that's alright. There are a lot of things in life aside from friendship.
Once i had a birthday party and only one out of 20 people came, so i came to his party.
I understand you, Im always the “joke” in my friend group they literally always go against me in anything. They call me names even after I told them, to stop, even when I tell them to stop they just mimic my voice making “fun” of me for that specific thing being said about me by some of my favourite people. Im starting to really despise going to school just becuase I know its gonna be another gruelling 7 hours of just being laughed at. And I also agree im much more social with my friends and like I find them really funny, I really love my friends but it doesnt feel like they love me.
I'm in a very similar situation. My friends at my college (I'm British so it's quite different to an American college), don't ever make an effort to contact me. I'm always left behind. And if I want anything to happen with them, I always have to make the first step. Honestly, online friendships work so much better. You always find your people. I know it's not the same as having friends you can hang out with IRL, but honestly it's refreshing having a group of people you can relate to and have a level of maturity that you also hold.
With my friends i suddenly felt like i was just stuck with my friends and couldnt get away from them and then they started doing stuff i didnt think was fun so i didnt wanna be with them so i tried to stay away and avoid them. When i got older (high school) while i got bullied by alot of guys in my grade, my "friends" also made fun of me and i felt rejected and alone. Until i decided not to stay with them anymore and now i dont talk to any of them.
This is really relatable. When we have a new member in our friend group they just completely ignored me, is like I'm being replace by this new girl, and she's not mean either, she's actually really nice. I really don't want to leave the friend group, I still obviously wanna have friends, but i don't think this friend group appreciate and value me, I'm also scared to socialize and meet new people. Really sad that a lot of people have to go through this, hopefully your situation gets better
I’m 22 and I’m in a very similar situation, but I ended up cutting off most of my old “friends” from high school as they saw me as their punching bag and were overall incredibly toxic. It hurts, it makes you feel so unwanted and so alone in this world. I hope things will get better for you and you can find genuine friends who help lift you up and feel good about yourself rather than treat you like a doormat, because you deserve so much better than that! I’m so glad RUclips recommended your video to me and you’ve definitely earned a new subscriber! 💯😁
Damn dude I didn’t realize how bad people would feel about that kinda stuff. I was the butt of a lot of jokes but they don’t affect me too much. One of my friends was made fun of more harshly than me and I never really understood how he felt or why he grew distant from the group. I can see that this must’ve been how he was feeling. I also know that it can be tough for some people (me) to actually reach out to people to do things out of fear of rejection. I think this is pretty common, so just keep that in mind.
I watched the whole video, hope you get better friends who care a lot and I hope they start to appreciate you.. I can relate to most of these as my friends also do the same things to me like the offensive jokes they tell me over and over again, I have difficulty making new friends, how I always start the conversation but they never start it to me, and they never invite me to go out but always invites others. Man I really hope you get better friends in the future who’s always there for you. This video also made me kind of reflect on my social life thank you.
Broooooo this is making my 16 to 18 year old self so mad you remind me so much of me literally lol like all us humans want is to feel wanted and needed honestly I really do appreciate your love for friendship
Had a whole friend group like this. Had to step away. I didn’t want to, cuz a lot of them I knew for a while and bonded with for years. But the disrespect was just too much. So you’re not alone in that. Best thing we can do is be the type of person we’d want to be our friend. Then similar people get drawn to that. Sounds kinda crazy but it works. Gl out there bro.
this is so relatable its almost bringing me to tears. i was in a toxic friend group and ive been slowly drifting away from them over time and im also not sure how to remake close friends. im trying to look for 'good' people but i dont know how to find them so im in a really bad position with no close friends but i think i feel better alone than with them as you also said.
This is very relatable. I also feel like I’m the punching bag of the group. They always say very hurtful things to me and sometimes just blatantly just insult me. After they apologize to me saying that they didn’t know I was so hurt by their words but it keeps happening over and over again and then their apologies just feel meaningless
They constantly call me things like retarded and autistic just because I don’t have the same Interests as them.
Hey man, I understand entirely. I honestly felt the same for as long as I could remember, until I met my new friends, and girlfriend. Some old friends have really just became bullies, because what they do is convince you they're your friends, but it's only a manipulative tactic. I recommend simply ignoring them, and if they ask why, stay calm. Just simply say "I don't like how you've been blatantly disrespecting me man."
Now those toxic old friends are out of my life, and I've found people who genuinely care about me. I believe in you dude, even though I'm only a freshman, everyone, including the both of us have advice we can share to anyone.
Hello, I am a junior. My freshman year i fealt the same exact way... till my gf broke up with me, friends leave me in the dust, grades were in the trash, health was at an all time low. Truth be told, I miss those days. Maybe a bit more than I should. I put 70% of the work into that relationship, yet I still feel no purpose. Worst part is I willingly put my mind through Hell and lost my sense of right and wrong. Please, dont make the same mistake I did. If she leaves, grief but dont hurt. Hurting them only makes you feel worse.
@@hows_ur_day4243 I appreciate the advice man, I do need to remember that everything can be received, and taken
I'll keep that in mind
solid advice man!
I get you man. I clicked on the vid and the title hit me. I remember only having one friend group from 8th grade to freshmen year and i thought i meant something to them. I moved schools at the end of freshmen year and they never contacted me or asked how i was doing while i was always asking to hang out with them and curious what theyve been up to. It hurt like hell to see them all together going on trick or treating and the beach together. Im 20 now and im chilling now by myself and i dont mind it nor do i want friends anymore but looking back on those things they made me who i am today when all i wanted was some sort of supporting group i could be apart of but that never happened
that video is so good and so relatable. also fire gameplay and voice. you'll find better friends eventually bro ❤
I feel like I am partially discontinued in my own group of friends as well, the only ones I feel capable of meeting are the ones I do not really want to be friends with. I recently saw a video that stated that it is the process of becoming a more justified person, and that it is a phase of such that you feel like you do not fit in your friends, yet you are not yet confident enough to become friends with those you wish to be friends with. I hope that insight bestows something.
Youll find the right group. When i went through this, it got really bad. Like life-ending bad. But then i realized that there are always people who care. If you dont think they care, leave. You dont deserve that kind of energy in your life - im sure you are such a kind, caring person. When you find that right person, stick with them for as long as you can.
For me, i was manipulated into admitting i have a crush on one of my other friends. They went on to spread that info around the whole school. But even though im 99% sure that my crush knows, they havent brought it up or been talking about it. I havent told them about it anyway cuz i dont want them being uncomfortable.
But yea, just keep pushing to find the right group! Youll find it eventually, i know you will. I subbed btw. Hope that boosts your mood a bit :)
Hey brother! Sorry to hear youre going through it but I believe its a growing period that stems from growing up. I found good friends through similar interests, hobbies sports or whatever you enjoy! Then through the people you meet, some just gel. You develop that just through conversation over time, it gets better! I believe in you! You dont even have to necessarily cut your friends off, just dont pay them mind. When meeting new people, i listen for topics or people they sound interested in while talking, from there ask questions about that! If theyre passionate the conversation starts easy and just ask them about their interests, they will almost always reciprocate and keep delving! Good luck and godspeed!
i feel the exact same way. been trying to reach out to the one friend i have that isnt a complete asshole and who supposedly cares about me but its been so pathetic that i dont even wanna talk about it. usually i would waste my time writing a big comment about myself but theres no point really
hi) I came across your video completely by accident, and I did not expect at all that it relates so much to what I'm experiencing in my group of friends. it always seemed to me that I was too "low-energy" for them, because of that I was always the third wheel. now we almost don't talk to each other, and I do not feel that I've lost much.
I have few friends and generally people with who i talk from time to time. because of this, I notice more and more just how socially awkward I am. I tried to find new friends, talk to new people, but inside it can be so hard to even get words out.
it's reassuring to know that so many people have the same thing (as selfish as it sounds).
good luck to you! and in general to everyone who is going through a similar period in life. it's difficult, especially when everyone around seems to be so socially adjusted and just generally social (though it might not always be true).
i used to be like u bro and all i can say if u feel ur friends dont value u at the same level u value them , u can either ditch them which may be awkward or u can bounce back overly harsh when made fun of which is more aggressive but in the end I found a group of friends that I love and I think we all value each other fairly for the most part. I know completely what you mean when you say that they just keep picking on u for that one thing for enjoyment also the fact that they don't celebrate each others accomplishments is a huge red flag. my advice: find new friends, friends are one of the best things in the world.
Hey, just wanted to hop in here and say I get it. I’ve been in a lot of friend groups where I feel like the odd man out. But I want to tell you now as an adult that things will get better. Luck may not just magically find you, but by allowing yourself to sit with things can really help you figure out how you should go about things moving forward. I can tell you right now as someone who grew up very isolated, it took me a long time to find the motivation (hell even the means) to make friends my age after leaving my high school friend group. You’re still in a setting where you can make friends your age a lot more easily, and even then, I can tell you from experience you can still meet great people your age after high school. Don’t be afraid to say hi to someone, start a conversation, and just see where it goes. Learning to stand strong against rejection and loneliness is a skill, and that is something I can tell you upfront. But I promise you it is something you can learn, and you will get better at it the more you try and stay strong. You’ve got this
Sorry if this was rambley, just wanted to give some advice cus I saw a bit of my experiences in here. Hope this wasn’t a lot lol. Hope you’re doing ok👍
hi, i might have insight on this since i'm well past high school and even college; i am 23 and i'm already working. in all honesty, what life has told me so far is that it will take some time to find your people (and by that I mean people who understand you completely and are there for you when you need them). some though are luckier, and find them earlier in life. and this could be because of a number of reasons, that people can AND cannot control. so be patient in finding new acquaintances and friends if you're interested in still making them. ++ be aware of friendship styles and also what other people expect from the friendship (e.g. some people prefer low-effort/low maintenance friendships, whereas others have high expectations from their friends). i think this can save a lot of hurt when certain expectations of what a friend should be [for you] isn't met.
as for being like a punching bag, i totally get how it feels--i've been seen as a class clown in high school but i couldn't yet distinguish if i was deemed one because i was funny, or laughable. i try not to think too hard on it honestly, because it does hurt to think about it still. but, life will happen anyway; and eventually, you'll get out of those circumstances that make makes living difficult. you're a senior, about to pursue a degree in college or uni (i presume). in any case, make the best out of your senior year, still seek friendships outside of that group that treat you that way. or you can try to save the friendship (though you state that the effort is one-sided). at my age, i find that seeking and keeping a community of people you can trust is tantamount to a happier and more fulfilling life. it is always worth trying to find good company; this is what keeps you grounded and safe for real... good luck with your endeavors! and to anyone else who might have read this comment, i wish you luck too. c:
I graduated from my country’s version of highschool, and ours is structured in a different way so we choose what focus to have, so you find more like-minded people. Still I found it really hard to know what to do when my friends all had closer friends than me. My friends are amazing, and i won’t be distancing myself from them, but it has still been tough to be the one reaching out to meet up, and if I don’t nothing happens.
Id say try to find new friends, and in the meantime also try to bring this up with your closest friends (if you dare). It really improved my relationship with a couple of my friends that understood and said they did want to hang out but just aren’t very good at organising things so I often become the leader. I’ve never had anxiety in the same way you seem to do but I can completely understand it been really tough socially. Id say a good way to make new friends and build on that confidence is to try make conversations in classes, even if it doesn’t lead to a friend. Because it’ll become easier and easier until you can might be able make conversation with some stranger in most places, which gives a higher chance of becoming friends with someone.
You also seem to say that you want to hang out with people all the time but also love being alone, and for that part I truly relate. I think it is when you don’t feel fulfilled in your relationships with others you try to interact as much as possible with them and hope it helps, plus if you like someone of course you want to spend time with them. Even just not dissing your friends but having a different group can help fulfill you enough that you can talk to your original group every now and then and not be desperate for more.
I truly hope you can find some people that value you as much as they should, and although I’m just 2 years older and not the wisest person in the world if you wanna chat about anything and get some hopefully okay advice just tell me. Good luck!
Hey man, im a year older than you in college. I get this feeling entirely. Towards the end of my time in highschool, i felt more and more the way you do. People are figuring out who they want to be and changing rapidly. Especially in senior year. I think its just important to realize that this friend group your a part of will probably only last one more year 🫤. Most high school friendships die out through college. One of the best ways i have learned to cope with growing further from those i thought i was close to was to realize that these relationships are liquad and they come and go. Its better for everyone to not fight it. Even if that sounds cold, it dramatically reduces yhe strain on all parties. Its not uncommon for friendships to die out in 3 years. About the limit of highschool.
One of the more rough aspects about this is that you are limited in highschool. The cliques have already formed so its difficult to put yourself out there. I just want to tell you, it gets easier after senior year. Fresh starts are more important than most people can imagine.
I’m really excited for college so I can have that “fresh start”. It feels nice to start over again and build a new “you”.
i feel you man, i'm in a very similar situation. i respect you putting your word out there, it's a hateful world rn lol. you earned my sub :P
18 year old who graduated last year.
I did face some social anxiety in year 12 and I think it's normal to focus on your studies but branching out to more people won't hurt!
I've heard about so many friendships falling outs and your experience is unfortunately quite common. It shouldn't be though. You should communicate what specific behaviours/jokes actually hurt you and why to them. Sometimes, those types of people actually care about you and change by learning how they can improve.
What helped me was putting in effort straight away in University to hang out with people. The sooner the better. The longer you sit in the same class and don't make the first move, the harder it is to start, but you don't need to stick with them. This can be applied to work as well and maybe you might hang out outside of work.
Ask what they do in their spare time, their plans before or after work/study. I've noticed that validating people by saying "and that's ok" when they tell me that they haven't done much tends to make them more comfortable around me and more likely to open up, but it takes time. Put in a bit of effort to learn about their interests. Actively seek new experiences to talk about, even if it's something rly really small or something on the internet that interests you. Once you start talking about what interests you, you stop acting like an NPC and they start seeing you as a human. It feels more relatable and they open up about their personalities too.
Ik high school and socialisation can be scary but since you've experienced what's it like to be picked on, you can easily empathise with others. Other people will appreciate your empathy.
I get u man, it sucks feeling like they don’t value you as much as u value them yk, I saw this video on my recommended and I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten more attention. No matter what you’ll be able to find real ppl who will value you for u and keep up the good work! The whole mc video ramble is so nice to listen to as background noise :)
perfectly timed youtube video. very relatable and i hope it gets better idk
I really liked this video and thank you for sharing what’s going on in your life. You’ve made me reflect on myself as a friend and how it’s possible one of my friends could be feeling how you do. I want to try to be a better friend.
I’ve known someone since third grade and this past year I’ve barely talked to them. They’ve slowly just grown apart from my friend group and it makes me really sad. They always respond when I text them but I’m only the one who ever starts a conversation between us. I just am really scared to lose them.
I'm in a similar situation. I always am the one who starts conversations that they don't want to even engage in anymore.
Glad to know there are a lot of people with this same kind of situation going through.
Damn. Well, I'm with you on everything you said. And I'm on the autism spectrum. That makes even worse.
do not waste your life on people you're not comfortable with. 💗
Da Vinci Resolve user detected: Friend shaped.
Hey dude, i feel like i'm in a similar situation to you rn, since like 6th grade i've never really felt like my friends were actually close with me, like everyone else had closer friends and i was just left out (just started 12th grade in Aus), and its probably just gotten worse over the years cause rn i'm in a group I 'joined' last year since some friends from like year 5-6 are who are part of that group are in my classes again, and it just feels like i'm forcing them to have me around during class and at lunch and stuff, I feel lucky because i'm not really made fun of at all, but its like i'm almost invisible when it comes to actual connection i guess? (which might even be worse tbh) like they're happy to talk and be without me, and since i've got pretty bad social anxiety i have trouble actually becoming part of the conversation, like i'm just kinda orbiting around the friend group without properly engaging? and none of them have any interest in doing stuff outside of school (haven't been actually *invited* to something outside of school for a couple years at this point) but the worst part is that since i'm really anxious I also don't invite people to do stuff 😐 its just a really annoying and honestly depressing cycle and i'm sick of sitting around both wanting and not wanting to make stuff change. I don't really have a grand point i guess i just wanted to vent 🤷🏻♂, but I really hope things get better for you, remember you aren't alone in this and we will eventually find the people (or person) we belong with, however long we've gotta thug it out for.
The friends you make in highschool can turn out to be some of the best friends you can ever make, the strongest bond you can have, but it doesn't always turn out that way. Some of my closest friends come from that period of time in my life - exactly two people. But nowadays, I don't talk to those people very frequently. Some of the other friends I've made, through shared interests and shared fandoms. One of these people include my partner, who I could not imagine my life without today. I talk to these people every single day; and they aren't the friends that I made in school.
Communication is always very important in relationships, romantic or platonic or otherwise, but if you feel like you're not welcome in your friend group, then that's your gut reaction trying to tell you something. Whether you need new friends or you need to talk to the ones you already have, things as they are may not be able to stay.
It's not fun to be in a friend group where you feel like you don't belong. Trust me, I know. Highschool is a period of time where you can feel like you're at your worst. If your friends don't appreciate you, that's an issue that may be as easy as talking to them, if they're willing to listen. But it also may not be. Friends are so special and important throughout our entire lives, and we need to make sure to get some good ones.
You may find your best and closest friends through the most unconventional means. I know I did.
Yo hope it gets better bro proud to be your first sub man
wtf this is exactly what ive been thinking abt lately
hey, this video was really solid, usually I don't comment on videos but your content is relatable in a way. You shouldn't have to feel like your forcing friendship, they should reciprocate the same effort you put in. But I really hope you find the people that respect and deserve you. i know I don't know your situation specifically to comment on it, but you could maybe try talk to other people in your classes? and see if anything happens from there. Keep up the content though, i'm looking forward to more videos. :)
It’s not easy to deal with it but it’s worth it
relatable
This is really sad I hope it gets better for you I have been going through something like that for almost 3 years now its not worth it I really hope it gets better for you honestly you deserve better trust me.
That is why I became stoic
Many friendships take a lot of time before they develop into something special. However, it's just as common for them to stay stagnant and not grow. Some people don't want a closer friendship and are comfortable where they are at. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Not every friend will be your best friend and it's okay to have friendships that are relatively surface level, but it's definitely tough when friend A puts more effort into it than friend B but friend B acts like they don't care. I'd be upset if my friend group started dissing me too. Does the entire friend group actively make fun of you or is it mainly one person that does it? Maybe that one person has a really bad sense of humor. Either case, it's important to take care of yourself and know that it's not the end of the world if things don't go your way. If I'd had any advice to give, I'd say don't be discouraged when you're forced to start over or when the efforts you put into improving your life isn't showing enough results. Things take time before you're able get yourself unstuck and really learn how to approach things
i dont think its your fault for "not speaking up" and feeling left out. i do have quieter friends, and even though theyre not talking, i know theyre listening, and my friends and i will still ask for their input and try to involve them. youre only 17, its perfectly normal to mature and outgrow your high school friends. if you go to college, you'll meet plenty of new people, and maybe even make better friends since (hopefully) these people are at a point in their life where they are more mature than high schoolers. even if you dont go to college, theres always tons of cool and interesting people if you try to expand your horizon! i think after senior year, youll really see who will try to keep in touch since people tend to spread out after high school, so i think things will kinda just resolve on their own if you just go with the flow
i did not see the vid yet but just the title made me say oof in my brain , but i suffer like that the jokes about you ,for example when you play a game with them if there is roles they always make you the most insignificant rule doesnt it happen? (im seeing the video while talking) and btw if anyone answers i can respond (oh btw) doesnt it seem that the people that are , i guess, good people? the good people are way more bullyed , im a bit less old i am not in highschool yet but im close , and since my friends gotten into a diferent classes they do all sorts of things ... witouth me. just one of the friends in the friend group apreciate me but only when im alone , if im with them in the freind group they stiil treat me cold (if someone answers and smth ill answer you back , im not really that occupied since its not exam time yet)
I don't have much context, but i will say, in regards to you reaching out to your friends, but them not reaching out to you, it's possible you're just friends with a lot of introverts who aren't very interested in going out of their way to interact with people in general, and not necessarily you. this very well might not be the case though, since you've said you're friends often make fun of you, which might have been funny if they were one off insults, but the fact they've said the same ones repeatedly seems to imply that they really mean what they're saying and may actually feel negatively towards you, and are disguising their rude behavior behind the excuse of a joke. idk why i wrote so fancily I'm very non-formal in person when i don't get to think for 10 seconds about what word I'm gonna say next.
Cool video bro
I know im just a random person on the internet to you, but i just want you to know that i care. I know nothing about you, but i hope that things get better.😊
do u wanna be friends