The World's "Best" Drug Smugglers

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  • Опубликовано: 10 дек 2024

Комментарии • 523

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  2 года назад +12

    Thanks to Magic Spoon ( magicspoon.thld.co/blaze_0122 ) and Sheath ( thld.co/SHEATH_blaze_0122 ) for sponsoring today's video.
    To get $5 off your own personalized Magic Spoon variety pack and get a head start on your health and fitness resolutions, head to magicspoon.thld.co/blaze_0122 and use code BLAZE at checkout!
    Go to thld.co/SHEATH_blaze_0122 and use code BLAZE at checkout to get 20% off your order! Thanks to SHEATH for sponsoring today's video.

    • @anarchyantz1564
      @anarchyantz1564 2 года назад +1

      Combine the two and you can use the reverse joey pouch instead as a holder for your magic spoon on the go!

    • @rodepet
      @rodepet 2 года назад

      Still waiting for the magic spoon bathtub add

    • @eratinauleenaks2367
      @eratinauleenaks2367 2 года назад

      Two sponsors + 1 video = 5 legends.

    • @pandorasbox4238
      @pandorasbox4238 2 года назад

      I got a couple pair of sheath underwear for my roommate. He was highly amused, but said they aren't so much for winter wear... you know, since we live up in the northern part of the US... parts of Canada are actually further south than we are. You know, north enough that testicles try to retreat back up into the body in the winter.

    • @anarchyantz1564
      @anarchyantz1564 2 года назад

      @@pandorasbox4238 Its times like that you dont mind hot testicles......ha! Gaaaaaaaaay! :)

  • @MissBlueEyeliner
    @MissBlueEyeliner 2 года назад +187

    So, I’ve been making my way through the back catalogue of _Business Blaze_ having only been watching for about a year now and it’s blatantly clear to me that Simon absolutely lost his mind during lockdown.
    Danny and Sam also followed him into this glorious chaos. Episode by episode all three of them became more manic and each episode became more like a beautiful fever dream
    So what I’m saying is, thank you Covid for giving us the majesty that is _Brain Blaze._

    • @Magepure6749
      @Magepure6749 2 года назад

      I mean I kinda wanna thank Covid for making IRL zombies more obvious, so I can know whose opinion on world events is entirely worthless straight away.
      But I also _really_ don't want to be in the same team as totalitarian corporate IRL lichlords -btw "corporate lichlord" what a fvcking lame way of spending immortality and immense magical power XD but yeah that's only an analogy so fortunately- these IRL "lichlords" don't actually have immortality... yet. Having said that, they'll gladly walk over the corpses of everyone you love if they think it's scientifically achievable, so that's a definitely ego-disorder/personality similarity with most of fictional liches... so yeah, that's definitely _NOT_ the people I want to associate myself with.

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +1

      Welcome to the madness.

  • @ashton_jude
    @ashton_jude 2 года назад +78

    April Fools Day idea: Simon writes the script and Danny reads it from the basement.

  • @sleepwalker3520
    @sleepwalker3520 2 года назад +11

    "Aim that trebuchet at your friends house"
    Best line ever

  • @gwynyvyr
    @gwynyvyr 2 года назад +50

    I lived in El Paso for several years. Catapults, drug cannons, drones, various animals, kites, ballons, tunnels; many things I saw/heard of being used to get drugs over, under and through the fence.

    • @aceundead4750
      @aceundead4750 2 года назад +3

      I bet a lot of chupacabra sightings have been of animals that were messed up by the drugs they were forced to smuggle.

    • @Solvables
      @Solvables 2 года назад +1

      Same case here in San Diego

    • @kg-Whatthehelliseventhat
      @kg-Whatthehelliseventhat 2 месяца назад

      Some people will do anything to get over the border. What did they do about the dope?

  • @jacobduhthrowbak3226
    @jacobduhthrowbak3226 2 года назад +8

    Sam really killed it with editing on this one. OC Gretta was amazing. And WTF was that cgi Peppa Pig horror-show!?

  • @michaelgriffin6832
    @michaelgriffin6832 2 года назад +42

    Proud to announce that upon the completion of this video, I have now seen all Brain/Business Blaze videos. I now awkwardly pitch Magic Spoon to anyone who will listen (though I haven’t tried it myself), and refer to anyone who ignores me a “proper knob”. Watching the exponential devolution of this channel has been an immense thrill. Thanks Simon and the Gang!

    • @DayZeroChannel
      @DayZeroChannel 2 года назад +2

      imagine how meta this comment would be if simon never made another video

  • @stephjovi
    @stephjovi 2 года назад +96

    Two sponsors. Fresh underwear and food for the Blazement crew!
    Glad to see BB being profitable!

    • @LilDitBit
      @LilDitBit 2 года назад +6

      Love this Blazement crew term!!

    • @phforNZ
      @phforNZ 2 года назад +3

      Brain Blaze catering for the Big Breakfast and Big Balls

    • @stumblingmumbler
      @stumblingmumbler 2 года назад +1

      Big ball lobbyist

    • @batticusmanacleas510
      @batticusmanacleas510 2 года назад +1

      The Blazement crew 😂😂😂

    • @rashakawa
      @rashakawa 2 года назад +3

      Yup "Blazement crew" that's the new t-shirt when can I get one???

  • @nunyabiznez666
    @nunyabiznez666 2 года назад +61

    The DEA used to put out a monthly bulletin of all the cool methods they found. After a while, they realized that probably wasn't very smart because 90% of drugs smuggled actually get through and showing genius methods that they caught ONCE is counterproductive lol 😆 🤣
    I saw some wicked amazing methods though! Agents had to have been lucky or tipped off to discover them.

    • @deadlikedisco4726
      @deadlikedisco4726 2 года назад +1

      Where can I find these bulletins? I love seeing old DEA stuff.

    • @lostbutfreesoul
      @lostbutfreesoul 2 года назад +2

      This is also why the 'Look how much drugs we busted' stories backfired as well.
      That number going up indicates that the smugglers are winning!

    • @nunyabiznez666
      @nunyabiznez666 2 года назад +1

      @@deadlikedisco4726
      Unless someone archived and put them up on the net elsewhere, you're not going to find them. It was like 10 years ago on the actual DEA site.
      I think it was called DEA Microgram bulletin.

    • @Magepure6749
      @Magepure6749 2 года назад

      Lmao that's actually amazing
      Justice works in mysterious ways

  • @deadlikedisco4726
    @deadlikedisco4726 2 года назад +32

    The way Simon said, "surf board" cracked me up. Such a solid American accent.

    • @marcnormanmitchell6590
      @marcnormanmitchell6590 2 года назад +6

      How dare you….

    • @deadlikedisco4726
      @deadlikedisco4726 2 года назад +2

      @@marcnormanmitchell6590 And I read your comment in a British accent. There's something wrong with my brain today.

    • @stigmaoftherose
      @stigmaoftherose 2 года назад +2

      You are clearly not American because he sounded very British still

  • @theziggurat869
    @theziggurat869 2 года назад +57

    Fun fact: If you waterproof your Sheath pouch, you can eat Magic Spoon out of it AND there's even a convenient spot to store the spoon!

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +5

      Legend!

    • @SaltyBeach1038
      @SaltyBeach1038 2 года назад +7

      Because nothing seasons your Frosted Flakes like ball sweat 😂

  • @erikkornfeld785
    @erikkornfeld785 2 года назад +12

    "They dig the fence far down or have radar, right? They can't be that stupid? Right?"
    The wind knocked a section of the fence over... Nah, we are that stupid.

  • @bongholio82
    @bongholio82 2 года назад +14

    Finally, Howard Marks gets a mention but he needs a whole Casual Criminalist episode to himself, as this was way too glossed over, which I understand due to this channels format. If you have read Mr Nice, read Mr Smiley, it was released just before his death and covers the MDMA smuggling and has some connections to one of the biggest heists in UK history. Allegedly.

  • @khristelle6383
    @khristelle6383 2 года назад +12

    TSA: “what’s that strapped to your waist?”
    Smuggler: “it’s NUN of your business”
    I’ll see myself out now…

  • @theinformationstation5328
    @theinformationstation5328 2 года назад +11

    Since Simon said that Danny’s skull is on the shelf behind him in one of the casual criminalist episodes I have been thinking…. Has Simon been kidnapping and eventually killing a string of people he names Danny and makes write scripts in the same style? This is why Danny seems to have worked every job in existence and has stories about absolutely everything. By my reckoning we are probably on Danny IV.

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +2

      Rotherham is full of Danny clones.

  • @OlyChickenGuy
    @OlyChickenGuy 2 года назад +43

    Hey Simon, I learned some more stuff you can hate about LotR/Avatar! Peter Jackson is the director for LotT, while James Cameron = Avatar, but here's what I learned: Cameron watched Twin Towers, and that's when he decided that CGI technology had come far enough that he could make his movie. So, Cameron ended up using Jackson's rendering engines, adding their own updates through production, of course. Then, Jackson sees Avatar... and is inspired to use Avatar's engines! As the episode of Cinema Therapy I learned this from concluded, "So, Gollum is his own grandfather."
    Anyway, here's your comment to help your algorithm, and a little factoid I found interesting which brings together two of your most hated franchises.

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 2 года назад +3

      And then someone heard this story and wrote the script for Predestination.

    • @Magepure6749
      @Magepure6749 2 года назад +2

      Lol, I never knew Simon hated LotR. Avatar, sure. Cheesy as hell especially in retrospect, but I still saw it with my highschool class and it was, y'know, much better than having actual lessons :^) and also not the worst -equivalent of about- 5$ -in my country currency- that I ever spent. I mean, totally get it if medieval magic fantasy etc. isn't your kinda thing and you don't care, but to _hate_ LotR? Like, _why? D:_

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 2 года назад +4

      @@Magepure6749 This must be your first episode of business blaze then, am I right Peter?

    • @Magepure6749
      @Magepure6749 2 года назад +2

      @@slcpunk2740 Not really cause I see what you did there :^) TBH I watched a fair chunk and in not one instance had I seen Simon rag on lotr lol.

  • @endlessrage4062
    @endlessrage4062 2 года назад +58

    The man, the myth, the fucking legend that is Sam!! Take a bow, sir! Hilarious edit as usual. 👌🏻👌🏻👍🏻🤣

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 2 года назад +2

      A good video editor would have cut to intermission.
      A legendary video editor lets Simon looked like a idiot as he reads "intermission" and then try to figure out if it's the headline of the next part of the script.

  • @smittywerbenjaegermanjensen
    @smittywerbenjaegermanjensen 2 года назад +66

    I want a certified legend shirt for my dog. DOGS ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE, SIMON!

    • @aceundead4750
      @aceundead4750 2 года назад

      You should give Simon your hat so he can be #1

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 2 года назад +3

      Simon: "I think dogs aren't more important than people".
      #CancelSimon

    • @empressoftheknownuniverse
      @empressoftheknownuniverse 2 года назад +4

      "Dogs are some of my favorite people." 😄

    • @nobody8328
      @nobody8328 2 года назад +6

      Dogs are great, but cats aren't going to show the cops where my drugs are

    • @HyperWolf
      @HyperWolf 2 года назад +6

      @@nobody8328 But if you’re smuggling endangered fish or caviar… 😂
      (Look up Rusik the Russian police sniffer cat)

  • @DoctorDex
    @DoctorDex 2 года назад +12

    Love how Danny smuggles in jokes 2 sentences below the one Simon is currently reading. It never fails! xD

  • @PhantomNull13
    @PhantomNull13 2 года назад +112

    Of course Simon won't reveal his drug transport methods. This isn't the casual criminalist. You gotta subscribe to that channel if you want advice on getting away with your crimes.

    • @michaelmurphy2786
      @michaelmurphy2786 2 года назад +6

      That would violate the first rule though, the crime would be written down for him to read.

    • @PhantomNull13
      @PhantomNull13 2 года назад +8

      @@michaelmurphy2786 it's fine. He'd sprinkle in a few 'allegedly' in there and be golden.

    • @seanmorgan2356
      @seanmorgan2356 2 года назад +1

      If he talked about his crimes he'd be breaking the number one rule for criminals.

    • @PhantomNull13
      @PhantomNull13 2 года назад +2

      @@seanmorgan2356 that's what the word 'allegedly' is for.

    • @maryscott9430
      @maryscott9430 2 года назад

      Simon wont get caught, he woukdnt write his crimes down!!

  • @aatypzbt6258
    @aatypzbt6258 2 года назад +13

    I have recently realized how listening to Simon works incredibly well for running.
    Tangents: slow down
    Reading: stick to his rythm. This video is a fucking challenge.
    Works great. 10/10. Recommend.

  • @30MrBappMan
    @30MrBappMan 2 года назад +2

    “Jokes on you I’m in to that sh*t.” 😂😂😂😂

  • @cheese_doc
    @cheese_doc 2 года назад +5

    Nailed that 1/8 to gram conversion and didn't have to think about it. You trying to tell us something Simon

  • @the-chillian
    @the-chillian 2 года назад +20

    There's actually lots of bribing opportunities in the US prison system. As anyone who's ever had a relative "inside" knows, it's pretty much impossible to send anything to any prisoner. The old trick of the file in the cake can't work, because you're not allowed to send a prisoner cake. Or food of any kind. Or pretty much anything directly. You have to order it from approved vendors who deliver it directly. You can't even have direct physical contact with them during visits.
    And yet, there are massive amounts of contraband in US prisons: Drugs, cellphones, cigarettes, etc. etc. They all get in somehow. And that somehow is the guards.
    But that's an ongoing moneymaking opportunity, and has such plausible deniability that few in a position of responsibility ever discuss it out loud. But bribed for allowing escapes? That's a whole nuther kettle of fish.

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +7

      My brother worked in a high security prison in California, and while he never took bribes, he saw plenty of crap. There are definitely some who are happy to take a bribe and hand over some cigarettes, or worse.
      When investigators finally looked into things, my brother did the right thing and told the truth about what he'd seen, despite being ordered by the sheriff to say he knew nothing. Police work like the Mafia, snitches get stitches. So he pissed off the other guards, crossed the "thin blue line, and the other prison guards set loose a Mexican Mafia guy on him, whilst they stood back and watched my brother try to wrestle him to the ground alone. He won that fight, but then they threatened "it'd be a shame if any of these guys knew where your wife and kids lived." That was too much. He quit the force and moved his whole family to Hawaii.
      Most American police are just racist White Pride gang members, or as one former classmate of mine bluntly put it, "I get to beat up wetbacks, and they pay me for it." Meanwhile, the few "good ones" get bullied and threatened by the rest.

    • @Trooper_Ish
      @Trooper_Ish 2 года назад +1

      "They all get in somehow. " or.. in the old "prison wallet" if the item is small enough to be pooped out later

    • @the-chillian
      @the-chillian 2 года назад +2

      @@Trooper_Ish All prisons do a body cavity search these days.

    • @the-chillian
      @the-chillian 2 года назад +2

      @@rhov-anion Yeah, that's what happens to anyone who tries to keep the police honest. I'm glad your brother got away in one piece.

    • @takeohtyme
      @takeohtyme 2 года назад +1

      You have no idea how many pills get yeeted over prison walls just by guys with slingshots. When I was in jail I watched a guy casually pull out a foil packet of heroin and snort it at the card table and got my hands on some magic shroom chocolate. Best $95 I've ever spent on a half eighth worth of silly sly man.

  • @apexgamer4051
    @apexgamer4051 2 года назад +55

    I'm happy to see that Simon is starting to get multiple sponsors for a single video

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 2 года назад +4

      Especially die Blaze. Almost 300k subs are many RUclipsr a dream but nothing compared to TIFO and top tenz

    • @catscorner6221
      @catscorner6221 2 года назад +2

      Which always gets me, because the Blaze is so much more entertaining.

  • @bramscheDave
    @bramscheDave 2 года назад +4

    Simon: "Weed, it never killed anybody!"
    It will if one of those bails lands on your head, mate! 🤣

    • @bongholio82
      @bongholio82 2 года назад

      That was my first thought

  • @Blind-Ghost-1980
    @Blind-Ghost-1980 8 месяцев назад +1

    I met Howard Marks when he did a DJ set in Bradford. Absolutely lovely bloke. And shared a spliff with him and he gave me one of his cans of beer. He really was Mr Nice.

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 2 года назад +2

    7:15 - Chapter 1 - We got shorty
    20:50 - Mid roll ads
    24:10 - Chapter 2 - Tangent on coke
    30:30 - Chapter 3 - Mr Nice

  • @howellgreenland2506
    @howellgreenland2506 2 года назад +3

    Mr Nice, the book, spawned so many others by his former friends & partners. I was lucky enough to work as a sound engineer at a venue when he was promoting Mr Nice & spent a little Nice-time with him post sound check. RIP Howard

    • @ThatElfTorunn
      @ThatElfTorunn 2 года назад

      My fiancé met him in York once years ago and said he seemed like a quality bloke. RIP indeed Mr Nice.

  • @egauci1
    @egauci1 2 года назад +32

    Are we sure Simon isn’t a secret Californian and only pretending to be an Englishman living in Prague?

    • @riotson
      @riotson 2 года назад +6

      Shhhh, he must never know

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +3

      No Californian who moves to another area ever admits they're from California. (Speaking from experience.) So that's plausible.

  • @SandraStar66
    @SandraStar66 2 года назад +35

    It finally happened. Simon has made so many videos on this channel, now he's forgetting what he's filmed here and not just on TopTenz

    • @stevemillen_Realtor
      @stevemillen_Realtor 2 года назад +16

      That's ok, one day Simon is going to find a channel that is competing closely with one of his 30 channels. Since fact boy does not do research, he spends hundreds of waking hours and sleepless nights trying to defeat this mysterious channel. Only in his deepest moments of despair does he realize the channel in question is one of his own, lost among the ever-growing list of neglected RUclips channels.

    • @jazzerzzz22
      @jazzerzzz22 2 года назад +5

      @@stevemillen_Realtor my god... Put a lot of thought into this huh?

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 2 года назад +2

      @@stevemillen_Realtor so xplrd then?

    • @DeliciousDetail
      @DeliciousDetail 2 года назад

      @@slcpunk2740 Or highlight history lmao

  • @nicolassalamanca8051
    @nicolassalamanca8051 2 года назад +14

    I'm half Colombian and watching Simon try to pronounce Medellín MADE BY DAY 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @The1trueJester
      @The1trueJester 2 года назад +3

      If I hadn't watched Narcos I doubt I could pronounce it 😅

    • @juancana457
      @juancana457 2 года назад

      Tons of MerAHwanner (mota), to us regular folks it's marijuana (m-ah-r-ee-ah-n-ah). Spindle Windbag, hates to have his $hiπy Spanish MISPRONOUNCIATIONS pointed out, so certainly duck the incumbent poo storm, that is his trademark 😁.

  • @DayZeroChannel
    @DayZeroChannel 2 года назад +2

    5:19.. Love that damn fiddle of a game

  • @C.L.Hinton
    @C.L.Hinton 2 года назад +9

    0:33 Sam, just so you know, the "American Duos" episode of the TV show _Psych_ had none other than the great Tim Curry uttering the phrase "He can't even speak" at the end of the episode. Just thought you should know. In case you might want to make use of it in the future. Could come in handy...

  • @lawfulcrib4285
    @lawfulcrib4285 2 года назад +2

    The best part about Simon's "With Ted joke" is El Chapo and Krazinski are both in ADX Florence

  • @gwick358
    @gwick358 2 года назад +2

    The old saying is "Two men can keep a secret if one of them is dead".

  • @ohnodiscgolf
    @ohnodiscgolf 2 года назад +1

    Completely makes my day when there’s a random uncensored “fuck”
    Never change

  • @TheLycanStrain
    @TheLycanStrain 2 года назад

    I'm so happy that you're getting more than one sponsor for each episode.
    I used Sheath since before I saw it on your channel, but I did buy two pairs just for you with your code. I use them at work, it's just unbelievably comfortable, especially with my four 10 hour day schedule.
    I'm not shilling, I'm being honest: if you ever have your balls smooshed up against your legs during the day (or worse with your you-know-what), try one pair of Sheath.
    It's annoying for two days and then you can't go without them after work or school.

  • @me0101001000
    @me0101001000 2 года назад +6

    As someone who lives by the Southern California Coastline, that's accurate.

  • @jeremyborder6794
    @jeremyborder6794 2 года назад +2

    In Archer Vice, they tried to smuggle cocaine by putting Pam in a full-body cast make of cocaine. In the episode, it worked until Pam ate all the coke

  • @wakzyon
    @wakzyon 2 года назад +1

    I read his autobiography when I was living in the UK in 2005, it was amazing what he did and how he did it, looking forward to watching this video :P

  • @RaechylBlackfyre
    @RaechylBlackfyre 2 года назад +1

    ….can we talk about how spot on Simons California accent was? Was ridiculously good, like he’s actually seen Point Break or something..

  • @JarvisSensei
    @JarvisSensei 2 года назад +1

    I got the other half three pairs of Sheath boxers for xmas using your link and he laughed so much until he wore them to work . He came home and said "Fair play"

  • @rhyslewis4399
    @rhyslewis4399 2 года назад +7

    Yes!!! Just sat on the shitter too.. perfect timing :) thanks fact boiii

  • @jeremyborder6794
    @jeremyborder6794 2 года назад +1

    Since Simon lives in the Czech Republic, perhaps Sam should change “FBI, open up!” to “BIS (Bezpečnostní informační služba), open up!”

  • @coolbeans6357
    @coolbeans6357 2 года назад +3

    Lol Sam just memed his own meme 🤣 😂 😆 😅 😭 😄 🤣

  • @cripplious
    @cripplious 2 года назад +29

    Simon has renamed the basement as whistlerstan. And uses it as a virtual world to get around EU wage laws by claiming the land is Danny's and Sam's wages.

    • @zachaliles
      @zachaliles 2 года назад +3

      Don't stop.

    • @Fight4Faulkner
      @Fight4Faulkner 2 года назад +3

      I imagine whistlerstan to also be a tax haven

    • @cripplious
      @cripplious 2 года назад +3

      @@Fight4Faulkner of course. As long as the god-king is paid his tithe.

  • @jeremyborder6794
    @jeremyborder6794 2 года назад +2

    I heard a story about a drug kingpin who got killed when a literal ton of marijuana was accidentally dropped on him

  • @TheBlueB0mber
    @TheBlueB0mber 2 года назад +4

    The one about smuggling smack inside deceased American soldiers was a plot line in NETFLIX’s *Punisher* series

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 2 года назад +4

      Frank Lucus smuggled heroin in the caskets of dead Americans returning from Vietnam.

    • @TheBlueB0mber
      @TheBlueB0mber 2 года назад +1

      @@badluck5647 thanks, I figured that part might be based on real life events!

    • @Boudicca527
      @Boudicca527 7 месяцев назад

      It is based on something that happened during the Viet Nam war. It’s been referenced in shows and books that are decades old now. The disrespect is horrific.

    • @alisaurus4224
      @alisaurus4224 4 месяца назад

      The Tom Clancy book Without Remorse used it too

  • @TheBlackDeck
    @TheBlackDeck 2 года назад

    3:40 perfect chance to say "he's just out there killin it"

  • @andrewevans5750
    @andrewevans5750 2 года назад

    So Simon, I am basically the same head shape, glasses, baldness, and beard style. You need a beard straightener. It does wonders with Amish beard oil. Discovered it this week and I no longer look homeless. It's great.

  • @xoso599
    @xoso599 2 года назад +1

    For the really best criminals it's not that they didn't get cause, but that no one noticed a crime as committed.

  • @jordikostiuk8471
    @jordikostiuk8471 2 года назад +1

    Simon, How do you make the ad reads so enjoyable and fun??..

  • @adamcavanaugh4940
    @adamcavanaugh4940 2 года назад +3

    Ecstacy is an amphetamine, that's what the A in MDMA stands for.

  • @RedactedATS
    @RedactedATS 2 года назад

    I wholeheartedly agree with your last point about the scale of 'badness' of certain substances. I speak from the perspective of having a lot of fun, aka personal experience, with it. Good times, really good 😎👌🇬🇧

  • @jorgelotr3752
    @jorgelotr3752 2 года назад +1

    It's spelled like that because Spanish has the weird quirk of being spelled almost exactly as it's pronounced, most letters are only read one way and the few exceptions have easy and consistent rules to switch between sounds, unlike English, were the word "wind" is read differently depending on the meaning and one word for "prison" can be spelled "gaol" or "jail" despite having only a single reading shared between both, for example.

    • @AM-kr4pv
      @AM-kr4pv 2 года назад

      Omg I'm a native English speaker and I was considered smart/top of the class and when I was a young teen a read a historical novel that use the spelling gaol and I fully thought it was a totally different thing for a bit til context made it make sense. English is the worst because there's no consistency because it's part original Germanic language and part Norman French and then like a shit load of words people have created from Latin and Greek and it's so stupid. I have the utmost fucking respect for anyone who speaks it as a additional language because most native English speakers barely know what the hell is going on either. I mean I heard someone recently say that spelling bees just aren't a thing in most places because their languages aren't as fucking illogical.

  • @SplotchTheCatThing
    @SplotchTheCatThing 2 года назад +3

    Hey, Danny, you forgot the one where they mixed cocaine with gasoline and smuggled it in tanker trucks but were ultimately foiled by being in a James Bond movie.

    • @oohhboy-funhouse
      @oohhboy-funhouse 2 года назад

      With the way gas prices are going, we will be smuggling petrol in cocaine.

  • @Mrgunsngear
    @Mrgunsngear 2 года назад

    Thanks

  • @moedig
    @moedig 2 года назад +1

    The majority of drugs at music festivals still comes in inside of road cases. The roadies get cut in on it.

  • @price41899
    @price41899 2 года назад +1

    ... he's just out there. Killin'. Lmao. Thank you.

  • @jmanj3917
    @jmanj3917 2 года назад +4

    *Awwww, Sh't!!*
    Simon sure was able to convert those weed calculations pretty damned fast, huh?
    Lololol

  • @sp3lllz
    @sp3lllz 2 года назад +1

    the cocahina meme gets me every damn time man i swear

  • @Magepure6749
    @Magepure6749 2 года назад

    37:33 loved to see this reaction play out the way it did, especially compared to how it started, lol

  • @DeronJ
    @DeronJ 2 года назад +1

    Simon generally doesn't know Imperial units, but with no hesitation he says 1/8 ounce of pot = 3.5 grams.

  • @takeohtyme
    @takeohtyme 2 года назад +1

    What I learned in D.A.R.E was "just say "No, don't, do drugs"" granted, I was pretty stoned and may have misheard the officer.
    Anyway, I'm gonna take my Dexadrine, put on my fentanyl patch, smoke my Delta9 dipped cigarette, and drink some vodka while I laugh at all the idiots ruining their lives with meth, heroin, and weed.

  • @Leo.Labine
    @Leo.Labine 2 года назад +4

    Simon is not afraid to call cartels stupid, but wont release the north korea video

    • @michaelb1761
      @michaelb1761 2 года назад +1

      Says something.

    • @jr2904
      @jr2904 2 года назад

      My thoughts exactly

  • @danielmoseley8040
    @danielmoseley8040 2 года назад

    Brain Blaze would serve as the perfect introduction of humanity to alien life

  • @lostbutfreesoul
    @lostbutfreesoul 2 года назад +1

    The Cartel whom dig those tunnels take surveillance into account.
    They don't even stop, soon as they complete one they start digging another as they know it will be could in a few weeks.
    No one has yet to convince me they have not worked out a deal with the MoleMen....

  • @amandajones661
    @amandajones661 2 года назад +13

    Me seeing that Magic Spoon is a sponsor - preparing for myself for Simon eating on screen.

    • @stephaniepeth1338
      @stephaniepeth1338 2 года назад +4

      I really hate that they require that of him.

    • @jimmiedmc1
      @jimmiedmc1 2 года назад +8

      When is he going to model the sheath

  • @RoofTopFocus
    @RoofTopFocus 2 года назад +1

    I’d let the Army use my body to smuggle cocaine if I had died while I was deployed lmfao.

  • @BrianMcAvoy13
    @BrianMcAvoy13 2 года назад +1

    When that absolutely haunting peppa pig clip rolled I was mid... puff... and in near unison I belted out WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT

  • @eliharper6616
    @eliharper6616 2 года назад +1

    Yes! Those of you who don't know, go watch some 7 year old Toptenz or TIFO and have your mind blown by a young clean shaven Simon

  • @TheMrJizzus
    @TheMrJizzus Год назад

    Once you realize that Simon is holding up the papers to cut the echo of his voice in the room, you won't be able to unhear it.

  • @fraglsnitz
    @fraglsnitz 4 месяца назад

    Simon: It's not like he was smuggling amphetamines
    Also Simon: It was just ecstasy.

  • @lekiscool
    @lekiscool 2 года назад +1

    Sam… Sam. WE ALL KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT WORDS THEY WERE SAYING.
    Well maybe Simon doesn’t… BUT WE KNOW. WE KNOW YOU KNOW. WE KNOW YOU KNOW WE KNOW.

  • @zippymk13
    @zippymk13 2 года назад

    I can't help but think that Danny even now is digging an escape tunnel from the basement.

  • @The_Laser_Kittens
    @The_Laser_Kittens 2 года назад

    You have a Meme Master. One who can meme a meme. A Meme Mesher.

  • @mickeychick6903
    @mickeychick6903 2 года назад +1

    Here in the US marijuana is put in a category as worse than cocaine and heroine

  • @JakeSezz
    @JakeSezz 2 года назад +1

    No worries, Blaze Boy, Yank here to help you remember how to pronounce Terra Haute:
    If it smells like a goat, you’re near Terra Haute *bow*
    (For further useless info: it’s because the Cannonball River fucking stinks and, mixed with smells from surrounding farm land, you get such witty poetry.)

  • @ajstevens1652
    @ajstevens1652 2 года назад

    "Ordered to pay $12.6 Billion in restitution, but not allowed to launder his drug proceeds. How tf is he gonna pay it then? 🤣

  • @jadegianakos8309
    @jadegianakos8309 2 года назад +11

    Can we find someone to FINALLY fix Simon's neon sign in the background please thank you? =D

    • @DayZeroChannel
      @DayZeroChannel 2 года назад +1

      Pleaseee

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion 2 года назад +1

      I think we figured out it's a cracked glass. There was an episode where he showed how it can turn on but flickers off, and the comments sleuths figured out the problem. Which means he'd need a whole new piece of the sign made by a glass-smith. I think someone should gift him a Brain Blaze sign.

  • @Simonsvids
    @Simonsvids 2 года назад +1

    Re Howard marks' friend, the actor Rhys Ifans. In Welsh 'f' is pronounced as 'v', so Ifans is pronounced 'Ivans'.

  • @takeohtyme
    @takeohtyme 2 года назад +1

    Fun fact: the last A in MDMA stands for "amphetamine".

  • @normanhull6696
    @normanhull6696 2 года назад +2

    The best drug dealers by definition are the ones who aren't famous. End of discussion.

  • @boneav83
    @boneav83 2 года назад +3

    I got here this quick even though im, um, blazed :)

  • @mlroeder
    @mlroeder 2 года назад

    Medical marijuana is explicitly given for those with cancer. It helps with pain, helps them eat more, it can also help reduce the severity of the side effects of their treatment. It's also used by epileptics to reduce the number of seizures. Those with chronic pain can use it too. You have to get a "prescription" from your doctor, and you'll get a card to show at a dispensaries. They use specified strains that are high in CBD and are low in THC.

  • @kathryncumberland
    @kathryncumberland 2 года назад +2

    Now we know for certain that Simon enjoys cannabis since he accurately rattled off how many grams are in an eighth.

  • @aaronmoots2797
    @aaronmoots2797 2 года назад

    Simon casually explaining denominations of drugs as though he has NO IDEA if he’s right… smoke / snort up, Simon - god bless you.

  • @NESimental
    @NESimental 2 года назад

    Can we get a meme of the "shee *" from the Sheath promo. Maybe it's the wine I'm drinking from a coffee cup. But I could not stop laughing.

  • @hannibalchow8492
    @hannibalchow8492 2 года назад +1

    I have been waiting for this Sweet sweet cocaine episode! Simon, Danny and Sam, ABSOLUTE LEGENDS.
    PS. We still need to free Danny from the basement.

  • @maryscott9430
    @maryscott9430 2 года назад

    Omg. So im smoking right now so 1 that makes this video ironic, and im less than 10 min in and im already crying from laughing.. esp at Joaquin.. joe-a-quinn. 🤣 this will be an epic video.

  • @grahamfisher5436
    @grahamfisher5436 2 года назад

    Met Mr Nice, here in the UK.
    asked him? what did he think
    feel
    do
    when he met Pablo?!
    He replied
    'he's the Devil'
    'like the Devil was stood in front of me',
    'I automatically took two steps backwards'.

  • @Solvables
    @Solvables 2 года назад

    As a San Diegan I can confirm that we do in fact talk like- oh look a kilo of weed just fell in my yard

  • @s.e7188
    @s.e7188 2 года назад

    XD could've gone my whole life without that peppa pig meme scarring my eyeballs LOL!!

  • @carlstanland5333
    @carlstanland5333 2 года назад

    “Are you carrying any drugs?”
    “Nun”
    “Yes you are!”
    “Sorry, it’s a habit.”

  • @r4g1ngsquirr3l9
    @r4g1ngsquirr3l9 2 года назад +1

    Simon's a stoner. Who else calls 3.5gs and 8th lmao

  • @TheTownsEnd
    @TheTownsEnd 2 года назад +1

    Well done

  • @ganeshh6378
    @ganeshh6378 2 года назад

    "it's just weed, it never killed anybody!"
    you tell that to the poor suckers who took 13kg packages launched by an canon to the face

  • @TheLordOfTheLegos
    @TheLordOfTheLegos 2 года назад +4

    37:55 “…it’s not crystal meth, it’s not amphetamines…”
    MDMA’s full chemical name is 3,4-Methyl​enedioxy​METHAMPHETAMINE. While not exactly crystal meth, MDMA is most definitely an amphetamine. Try again Fact Boy, you smooth brain

    • @grahamfisher5436
      @grahamfisher5436 2 года назад

      that bike @19.43 !?
      the rear tyres tread, looks little bit low 🤭🤭

  • @mbryson2899
    @mbryson2899 2 года назад

    He might have been a salesman bringing along a stool sample.