Interesting take. Everything you said is true. Not to mention the fact that Lorelei wasn’t willing to share Rory with anyone including her biological father. Lorelei gets weirdly obsessive and tell everyone in her own way “that’s HRR kid and no one else is allowed near them: Christopher, Rory’s biological father, even said that in the revival. I’m not excusing Christopher’s behavior in anyway, but that could be the reason why he stayed away. And you wonder why Rory turned out the way she did.
Thank you for bringing this up , this is such a huge part of their mom and daughter dynamic/ relationship. As a parentified individual myself with both parents , I saw every red flag immediately and I was waiting for someone to add this subject to the conversation !!
Good video! I just started watching the show on netflix and it was so creepy! The oversharing, the emotional manipulation, the jealousy ans so on from Lorelai to Rory. Rory has to constantly keep her mother emotonally safe and that means that she can have no privacy at all. That episode when she has to drive herself to school because Lorelai can't because she did not put her first was crazy to me. Thank you for this video! Glad someone else saw this as well. 👍
I love this show but my mom and I’s relationship is similar to Lorelai and Rory’s in many ways, and I’m definitely struggling in my transition to adulthood
Sorry to hear you've been through this! I agree the show can be fun if you don't think about it too deeply....but if we reflect on it, we can definitely see the more underlying toxic patterns. Thanks for watching!
I think you’re reading a bit too much into the interactions between Rory and Lorelai, like “sexual caressing?” Your mother is allowed to give you kisses on the cheek without it being sexual or creepy. I definitely wouldn’t call it emotional incest, but Lorelai definitely didn’t set proper boundaries with Rory and it ended up making their relationship more of that of best friends rather than mother and daughter. Lorelai wanting to talk about Rory’s relationships isn’t in my opinion emotional incest. It’s written in a way as if you found out your best friend was dating someone and forgot to tell you. Mind you, I’m not saying _this_ is appropriate. I fully agree when people say Lorelai needed to draw the line between parent and friend. I’m saying it’s barely emotional incest.
Differing opinions...i am not a psychologist so i wouldn't deign to diagnose anything, but waking your teenager up in the middle of the night disturbing their sleep and caressing them like that is crossing a line in my opinion. i would feel VERY uncomfortable if either of my parents had done that to me.
@@TheAppleGoblin I understand, I wouldn’t let my parents do that either, but that’s simply because I dislike both of them and we don’t have a relationship like Lorelai and Rory do. I don’t even really like when they hug me. So that boundary would be set once I’m old enough to set it. But those are just our boundaries. It doesn’t mean Rory needs to have the same.
@@LilyBonaparte i would also Not call that the behaviour of a Lover, Most women who are befriended cuddle in a similar way. Lorelai sure Put Rory in the role of a best friend but calling them "lovers in all but name" seems strange, but then again i know quite a few men who are unfamiliar with the concept of touch and emotional intimacy in their friendships....
@@12368784 touch is fine...but caressing in nocturnal hours while lying beside someone in bed? and disturbing someone's sleep to boot. Don't know anyone, male or female, who does that. also the 'lover' comment is not just referring to physical touch. Lorelei also banks on emotional support from her daughter much like in a healthy marriage a wife would rely on her husband.
I kind of hate that videos like this make people who have good relationships with their parents / siblings have to reexamine if they’re “too” close or being emotionally incestuous bc they feel like they can actually talk to their family like they’re friends… Idk. Are we not supposed to be friends with our immediately family ? I understand this example is extreme for “comedic” value, but if no one is making babies or role swapping, is it unhealthy?
There is a difference in having a close relationship with your family, which provides a safe place for you and having to deal with the emotional waste of your parents as a child. Children going to their parents with their problems and the parents helping their children, is how it should be not the reversal. But thats exactly what the relationship between rory and Lorelai is, Lorelai is very often running to Rory for comfort and stability, who as 16 year old girl has neither the life experience nor the tools to deal with that. And when Rory has a problem Lorelai acts as her best friend, while Rory actually needs a mom, someone who draws boundaries, who help her with her own life experience, who teaches her the tools needed to deal with life. At the same time Rory has to fufill all these expectations, of being the good kid and going to Harvard.
If you think their relationship is emotional incest I suggest you actually read a book about it to understand real life examples of that term are, instead of just doing your useless yapping
Interesting take. Everything you said is true. Not to mention the fact that Lorelei wasn’t willing to share Rory with anyone including her biological father. Lorelei gets weirdly obsessive and tell everyone in her own way “that’s HRR kid and no one else is allowed near them: Christopher, Rory’s biological father, even said that in the revival. I’m not excusing Christopher’s behavior in anyway, but that could be the reason why he stayed away. And you wonder why Rory turned out the way she did.
So true...her possessiveness is totally abnormal! Thanks for watching.
Thank you for bringing this up , this is such a huge part of their mom and daughter dynamic/ relationship. As a parentified individual myself with both parents , I saw every red flag immediately and I was waiting for someone to add this subject to the conversation !!
Good video! I just started watching the show on netflix and it was so creepy! The oversharing, the emotional manipulation, the jealousy ans so on from Lorelai to Rory. Rory has to constantly keep her mother emotonally safe and that means that she can have no privacy at all. That episode when she has to drive herself to school because Lorelai can't because she did not put her first was crazy to me.
Thank you for this video! Glad someone else saw this as well. 👍
I love this show but my mom and I’s relationship is similar to Lorelai and Rory’s in many ways, and I’m definitely struggling in my transition to adulthood
Sorry to hear you've been through this! I agree the show can be fun if you don't think about it too deeply....but if we reflect on it, we can definitely see the more underlying toxic patterns. Thanks for watching!
I think you’re reading a bit too much into the interactions between Rory and Lorelai, like “sexual caressing?” Your mother is allowed to give you kisses on the cheek without it being sexual or creepy. I definitely wouldn’t call it emotional incest, but Lorelai definitely didn’t set proper boundaries with Rory and it ended up making their relationship more of that of best friends rather than mother and daughter. Lorelai wanting to talk about Rory’s relationships isn’t in my opinion emotional incest. It’s written in a way as if you found out your best friend was dating someone and forgot to tell you. Mind you, I’m not saying _this_ is appropriate. I fully agree when people say Lorelai needed to draw the line between parent and friend. I’m saying it’s barely emotional incest.
Differing opinions...i am not a psychologist so i wouldn't deign to diagnose anything, but waking your teenager up in the middle of the night disturbing their sleep and caressing them like that is crossing a line in my opinion. i would feel VERY uncomfortable if either of my parents had done that to me.
@@TheAppleGoblin I understand, I wouldn’t let my parents do that either, but that’s simply because I dislike both of them and we don’t have a relationship like Lorelai and Rory do. I don’t even really like when they hug me. So that boundary would be set once I’m old enough to set it. But those are just our boundaries. It doesn’t mean Rory needs to have the same.
To be honest a lot of parents do this. It’s very normalised in tv and movies as well
@@LilyBonaparte i would also Not call that the behaviour of a Lover, Most women who are befriended cuddle in a similar way. Lorelai sure Put Rory in the role of a best friend but calling them "lovers in all but name" seems strange, but then again i know quite a few men who are unfamiliar with the concept of touch and emotional intimacy in their friendships....
@@12368784 touch is fine...but caressing in nocturnal hours while lying beside someone in bed? and disturbing someone's sleep to boot. Don't know anyone, male or female, who does that. also the 'lover' comment is not just referring to physical touch. Lorelei also banks on emotional support from her daughter much like in a healthy marriage a wife would rely on her husband.
I kind of hate that videos like this make people who have good relationships with their parents / siblings have to reexamine if they’re “too” close or being emotionally incestuous bc they feel like they can actually talk to their family like they’re friends…
Idk. Are we not supposed to be friends with our immediately family ? I understand this example is extreme for “comedic” value, but if no one is making babies or role swapping, is it unhealthy?
There is a difference in having a close relationship with your family, which provides a safe place for you and having to deal with the emotional waste of your parents as a child. Children going to their parents with their problems and the parents helping their children, is how it should be not the reversal. But thats exactly what the relationship between rory and Lorelai is, Lorelai is very often running to Rory for comfort and stability, who as 16 year old girl has neither the life experience nor the tools to deal with that. And when Rory has a problem Lorelai acts as her best friend, while Rory actually needs a mom, someone who draws boundaries, who help her with her own life experience, who teaches her the tools needed to deal with life. At the same time Rory has to fufill all these expectations, of being the good kid and going to Harvard.
Mountain out a mole, much?
If you think their relationship is emotional incest I suggest you actually read a book about it to understand real life examples of that term are, instead of just doing your useless yapping