Letter to a Christian Spouse

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  • Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
  • This is a personal message for Christians struggling with confusion and concern over loved ones leaving the faith.
    If you don't understand what's happening, these 18 minutes might help.

Комментарии • 424

  • @car_tag
    @car_tag 7 месяцев назад +313

    I've been an atheist for thirty years and have shared this with religious family today. Thank you for such quality content, Seth.

    • @exaucemayunga22
      @exaucemayunga22 7 месяцев назад +11

      How was it?

    • @dianahill5116
      @dianahill5116 7 месяцев назад +5

      I've noticed, that many news medias don't like people to criticize and/or mock religions or religious people.

    • @Howie-f3z
      @Howie-f3z 7 месяцев назад

      Excellent point. Never thought about it from that perspective. @@Jcs57

  • @AnAnonymousAtheist
    @AnAnonymousAtheist 7 месяцев назад +7

    I am an atheist (could you tell?) that chooses not to reveal myself publicly. My close friends know I'm atheist, but for personal reasons, I choose to remain anonymous. Some day, when conditions are right, I'll let everyone know where I stand. I'm glad there are atheists like Seth who are willing to work with religious people in a fully accepting way. I like the message: take YOUR journey in YOUR own way, being authentic to yourself.

  • @AndyColglazier
    @AndyColglazier 7 месяцев назад +110

    I'm new to the channel and appreciate your content. I have been an atheist either subconsciously or consciously almost my entire life, and I am 62 years old. I never struggled with my beliefs, I never had any. They just never took root.
    My family was extremely religious, and all of my many siblings are Christians. When it became clear that I was an atheist, they went through a series of attempts to bring me back to the Christian way.
    They ambushed me in several ways, and they used some guilt trips to try to guide me, to no avail.
    But I have no ill will towards them. We all get along fine, and they have mostly given up their attempts overtly to Christianize me.
    I think all of us have become old enough to understand that religion isn't the thing that makes you a decent or successful human being. And I think we've all come to terms with each other's beliefs.

    • @istvansipos9940
      @istvansipos9940 7 месяцев назад

      religi0n can make you very successful, though. You just have to scam enough people with it.

    • @Irisarc1
      @Irisarc1 7 месяцев назад +11

      That is an encouraging and wonderful thing to hear. I've pretty much been dropped by my bio-family. Part the reason is not about my beliefs, or lack if them, but the difference we have in the way we see the world is certainly a contributing factor. I'm so happy for you that your family has come to a kind of equilibrium with their differences in beliefs. I'm sorry to hear that it took so long for it to happen.

    • @67kemo
      @67kemo 7 месяцев назад +1

      Quite compassionate of both you and them. I actually cut my family off for a year, knowing both the lack of connection and eventual explanation would solidify my position and get them to crank down the rest of the family. I am also very fortunate to have a compassionate family that wanted me around, regardless of my belief system.
      My deepest condolences to those who have intollerant families that cannot accept you based on your beliefs (or current journey, for that matter). Unfortunately, no magical sky daddy is going to change their perspective. One can only hope they witness events of compassion and start self-reflecting. That's a real challenge for christians, though. To me, "woke" means being self-aware enough to try and both sort out as well as validate how I feel about something befoe opening my gigantic yapper. Many christians interpret their feelings through the lens of their bible and magical sky daddy.
      I'd offer my prayerss, however, despite the fact that I do believe in an intelligence that lives outside our space/time, I have no illusions that it cares about us beyond what it can learn from our eventual self-destruction. I believe this universe is just an experiment, and the creator is curious what species develops FTL first, or becomes even more advanced than that. Thnk simulation theory, only I believe it endeavors to retain all of the intelligence it creats, and sort of mixes us in a spirit/soul/life force pool after death. I mean, everyone needs to decide for theirselves, but having faith in some sort of existence after death helps me sleep at night. YMMV.

    • @Howie-f3z
      @Howie-f3z 7 месяцев назад +3

      Feel really fortunate to have never had a religious upbringing, or to have had any real faith-based education or training. Thanks for sharing.

  • @famousamosisforreal
    @famousamosisforreal 6 месяцев назад +4

    I'm in tears. Just sent it to my dad and now I wait. I'm so very scared of his reaction, but he needs to hear this.

  • @stevenhogenson4880
    @stevenhogenson4880 7 месяцев назад +55

    I have been an atheist since the fall of 2010. My spouse is still a believer and just can't wrap her head around why I have made the decisions I have. I have forwarded this video to her this morning. She will probably never understand, but maybe if she's will to watch, it might help at least a little. I think she feels betrayed, since I was an ardent Christian when we met and that is no longer the case.

    • @gsp3428
      @gsp3428 7 месяцев назад

      why did she marry you

    • @stevenhogenson4880
      @stevenhogenson4880 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@gsp3428 I was still a believer at that time. I deconstructed and deconverted later.

    • @calldwnthesky6495
      @calldwnthesky6495 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@gsp3428 i'd bet she married Steven due in no small part to the fact that he is just a decent and respectable and thoughtful human being. it's easy to see, even just reading your comment Steven, that nothing has changed there

    • @aprilmay7816
      @aprilmay7816 6 месяцев назад

      Believe in True God. God sent His only Son to keep us OUT of hell by Christ's perfect sacrifice! God gives ALL mankind the freedom to choose heaven or hell, we choose heaven by clinging to Jesus, and trusting the finished work of the cross
      ... But people who
      decide to reject the Way to heaven the Lord Jesus. (THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD) have already CHOSEN eternal hell, PLEASE THINK ABOUT It and FOLLOW JESUS! while it's STILL NOT too late!

    • @stevenhogenson4880
      @stevenhogenson4880 6 месяцев назад

      @@aprilmay7816 and how do you supposedly know all that? The bible? The fictional folklore and legends and tales borrowed from other older religions and passed off to the indoctrinated brainwashed masses as "the word of god"? It's a fiction. Man-made. Nothing true or divinely inspired about any of it. And I say as that someone who DID believe in all of it 40+ years before "the truth set me free" and I realized it was utterly and wholly made up. Fabricated fairy tales...nothing more.

  • @douglasrasmussen480
    @douglasrasmussen480 7 месяцев назад +31

    I was a non-religion person - not yet an atheist and I did not belong to any religious denomination. I fell deeply in love with a young woman to whom I have been married with for 45 years. We were married in the Catholic Church and one of the promises required was to raise any children in the Catholic faith. I allowed this to happen. Although neither my wife or daughter are involved in the Catholic Church now, I now regret fulfilling that promise. As I look back, such training to believe was part of a generational system of brainwashing young children to believe mythology is fact with the insertion of the horrific concepts of guilt, fear and belief of being sinful simply on the basis of another fantasy Adam and Eve. So, yes, I get along with all of my wife's relatives, but I do not view their projections of wanting to me believe as sincerity, but rather an extension of the very effective brainwashing developed. I do not reject my relatives and friends, but I deeply reject the foundation upon which they have had their beliefs created for them.

    • @grepora
      @grepora 7 месяцев назад

      Don't be too hard on yourself. Millions of non-Catholic husbands have been duped by the Catholic Church. They just didn't know the secret to avoid committing to this shameful promise was simply to cross their fingers (or their toes) when they made the promise. What was the Catholic Church going to do? Send the Jesuits (or the Opus Dei albino) after you? It wasn't a binding contract -- unless you signed something. (Did they make you sign something? If so you could claim it was done under duress.) Don't let those holier than thou Catholics push you around.
      The important thing is that you, your wife, and your daughter survived the Catholic indoctrination machine. That's no trivial accomplishment. You don't need to identify as an atheist. I don't call myself an atheist because I don't want to give theism any recognition. I call myself a universist. I believe in the universe of which I am a part. It was around long before I was born, and will be around long after I am dead, but my atoms will always be a part of it. No god required. No indoctrination. No bad Christian music -- except for some Christmas holiday songs. Just striving to be the best human being I can be and try not hurt anyone in the process.
      Your penance now is to watch atheist channels and Biblical scholars so you can learn about the history and truly appreciate the gullibility of humans. Live your life free of delusion and fear. Delight in positive nihilism, knowing that there is no god and life has no meaning, but the meaning you give it.

    • @VictoriousCatholic
      @VictoriousCatholic 7 месяцев назад +1

      Teaching children religion isn’t brainwashing and is not considered brainwashing by any credible mental health group. Even a psychologist who suggested having a religious themed mental disorder added to DSM doesn’t think religion is brainwashing

    • @douglasrasmussen480
      @douglasrasmussen480 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@VictoriousCatholic If a child is raised to believe mythology is true with all manner of inserted guilts and fears, that's child abuse no matter how societally accepted that abuse may be.

  • @kylecancilla5483
    @kylecancilla5483 7 месяцев назад +34

    This is just as much a letter to those struggling with guilt after starting to doubt faith or walking away from religion. I would wager that it can be just as hard to start the process knowing you're going to hurt people along the way as it is to watch it happen as a believer.

    • @calldwnthesky6495
      @calldwnthesky6495 7 месяцев назад +3

      absolutely. i think a lot of atheists see their family and friends as simply people... not christians or muslims or buddhists, etc. seeing their faults is part of it yes, as we all have faults, but more than that they see the parts of them that are truly good - the things that are truly endearing about them. those traits would be there and available, regardless whether one knew what their religious beliefs were... and it breaks a lot of our hearts as atheists to know we might be hurting such people... people that DO have goodness in them because it's part of who they are... people that we love.

    • @AW-uv3cb
      @AW-uv3cb 7 месяцев назад

      @@calldwnthesky6495 This is exactly what I feel for my deeply religious mum and the rest of my family. The deeper she's gotten into it in the last years, the further away I've been moving from faith, and now I consider myself to be an atheist. I didn't want to tell her out-right because I knew she'd be heartbroken for me and I had no reason to do it to her till it actually affects my life (like if I plan to get married and don't want a church wedding). She still figured it out on her own, at least the fact that I don't go to church anymore. I haven't heard one word of rebuke from her (I'm sure she prays for me daily!). We just focus on what connects us and make the most of our time together. She's still the best person I know, and the person I love the most in the world, even if politically we disagree on almost everything.

  • @tomnanD3
    @tomnanD3 7 месяцев назад +50

    Yes. Our rights to worship, or not, are protected by law.
    So far.

    • @betzib8021
      @betzib8021 7 месяцев назад +6

      So far....that is a relevant comment.

    • @HarryNicNicholas
      @HarryNicNicholas 7 месяцев назад

      well i think it's more that god has been shown to be not the almighty he thought he was, i have more rights than god and everywhere god goes, the satanic temple can go too.

    • @zedmeinhardt3404
      @zedmeinhardt3404 7 месяцев назад

      "So far" is far too accurate.
      My state is trying to pass some B.S. restricting religion. Luckily there are a few decent politicians fighting back.

    • @Kaltag2278
      @Kaltag2278 7 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@zedmeinhardt3404
      to me it seems like no one wants to restrict religious freedoms until anyone outside the big 3 wants the same privileges. From my perspective, if everyone was actually allowed to practice as they pleased we wouldn't have so many issues (speaking in the context of American society specifically)
      *I realize my words might sound harsh I'm genuinely interested in a dialogue*

    • @zedmeinhardt3404
      @zedmeinhardt3404 7 месяцев назад +6

      @@Kaltag2278
      I think we agree. I'm not Christian for what that matters.
      If the government is going to allow one religious group to place statues/etc on public property, then any and all should be welcome.

  • @peterleonard49
    @peterleonard49 7 месяцев назад +24

    This is very timely. I just shared this with my closest, most beloved brother who is distraught by my journey. I hope he watches it. Thank you, Seth. Thank you for putting the words I couldn’t find out there. Thank you.

  • @PMcDMind23
    @PMcDMind23 7 месяцев назад +22

    Seth, when you just sit with us, and talk to us from your heart and from your brilliant mind, you change us. You teach us. Thanks for sharing - you make this world better.

  • @georgierodgers444
    @georgierodgers444 7 месяцев назад +66

    It’s not something that you choose, it’s something that you face. Well said!😊

  • @annarichter484
    @annarichter484 7 месяцев назад +41

    Good message.
    The only thing a Christian like me should say to a loved one who loses/struggles with their faith: "You are on your own journey. I love you and I am here for you." I don't believe in conditional love as I felt loved well before I became a Christian.
    It hurts me when people put their belief over their children, friends etc. My family are agnostic/ atheist and we respect each other for our journeys.

    • @dianahill5116
      @dianahill5116 7 месяцев назад +1

      How come, religions need money?

    • @misterdoctor9693
      @misterdoctor9693 7 месяцев назад +2

      I'm glad you are mature enough to see it this way. I grew up in a high control religion and have lost most of my family and friends because I stopped sharing their faith.

    • @annarichter484
      @annarichter484 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@dianahill5116 We all need money in western society and yes religion can easily be misused to con people out of theirs. Doesn't change my faith though.

    • @JebusHypocristosX
      @JebusHypocristosX 7 месяцев назад

      @@annarichter484 Why does the omnipotent magic pie man in the sky need money tho? Show your work or STFU with your idiotic "belief"...

    • @miguelbarahona6636
      @miguelbarahona6636 7 месяцев назад

      @@dianahill5116 Many atheists also want you to become a valued member of their channels (giving them money of course)

  • @michaelsbeverly
    @michaelsbeverly 7 месяцев назад +3

    I was ghosted by all my former Christian friends.
    Not even a "good bye" or "I can't be your friend anymore."
    Nope....just crickets.
    It hurt for a short time, but now they've been replaced so I'm good.

  • @MikeBrown-ex9nh
    @MikeBrown-ex9nh 7 месяцев назад +39

    My journey was slightly different. I was raised in the church, but never believed the far fetched stories that they were preaching. I recognized the brainwashing and wanted no part of it. I left religion altogether by age 20, over 50 years ago. For almost all of those years I had a live and let live attitude about Christianity, as my family and some friends were Christians. That has now changed as I watch the church preaching hate and intolerance toward those they disagree with, and getting into right wing politics and pushing for Christian nationalism. I have drawn the line at them forcing their beliefs onto everyone else. Keep religion in the church, home, and personal lives and out of government. America doesn't need or want a Christian Taliban.

  • @ottotechnica
    @ottotechnica 7 месяцев назад +9

    Thank you, Seth. I wish this video existed when my mother was still alive.

  • @kschellenberg8214
    @kschellenberg8214 7 месяцев назад +7

    Thanks for this. A good reminder to live an authentic life, which I have not been doing. I'm 50 years old and I've been an atheist for only 2 years (with doubts starting 7-8 years ago) after growing up in an fundamentalist evangelical christian home and with parents and siblings who would be devastated by my thoughts on god. I'm not sure how to broach the subject with them. Easter and Christmas and other christian holidays have been strange for me and I wonder if my family has some sense already, but are just afraid to ask. I'm open to advice of where to go from here. In many ways it's easier to live this secret life, but I would rather be authentic.

    • @monicaluketich6913
      @monicaluketich6913 7 месяцев назад

      I guess I have had it pretty easy. I remember doubting the existence of god when I was 6 yrs old, but seeing my father and brother sitting next to me at church (mother was reading her mass at home because was a different Christian religion), I thought that I'm just a little kid. What do I know? At the age of 45, I had a long recovery from a surgery and did a lot of reading and research about religions, and decided that I didn't need to worship a superior being, but just try to live a good life, be kind to others and do no evil. I knew that this was a secret I needed to keep to myself because many of my friends were VERY religious. When someone asked me which church I attended, I told them that I just hadn't found the right one for me yet (in a small rural town that is a reasonable answer - then they would invite me to their church and eventually even ask what my name was. 😊). Since I was raised Catholic, I've decided that I'm slowly "coming out of the Confessional. " (Gays came out of the closets; witches come out of Broom closetes!) People slowly stopped talking about church or religion around me for the most part, and we talk about other topics. It's not easy, but it feels freeing to me.

    • @monicaluketich6913
      @monicaluketich6913 7 месяцев назад

      As for holidays, I love gifts, so I do give gifts to a few friends - my family has died and most people I knew at jobs have moved away. I like cooking and eating, so baking cookies or making a special dessert if I am invited to a holiday meal is no problem. Yes, I do buy myself Christmas gifts! But so many of the "Christian traditions " were really just adapted from pagan religions. I even set up my mother's very religious funeral when she died. That is what she would have wanted, and I didn't want to disappoint relatives and mom's friends. Large church funeral, beatiful casket and her clothes (the clothes from an upscale resale store in the metropolitan area near where I live), prayers at the graveside, and a luncheon made by the church ladies to help support the church. It was on Good Friday, so no meat for which they apologized, but I liked it. I told them that I got to eat all the recipes that I grew up with but could not find in the state in which I now live. They were happy. I donated a reasonable sum of money to the church (tiny, tiny church that sold nut rolls and other eastern European foods on holidays to help run the church). Religion wasn't really talked about, just stories about Mom and her 6 siblings growing up. Nothing uncomfortable. I guess I just over did what they all wanted and then didn't have to discuss religion the rest of the time. I've been doing that now for over 20 years now. I'm part way out of the Confessional. 😊

  • @stephenrichie4646
    @stephenrichie4646 7 месяцев назад +15

    So well done. Thank you, Seth!

  • @incognito3620
    @incognito3620 7 месяцев назад +5

    Very wise and smart opening. Religious People fear the word “ Atheist! We are not here to change others’ opinions or beliefs.
    You hit all the points from resistance to just see the truth about our living authentically. My mother did t get it and died with the belief I was …lost. One of her last acts was to send me a letter stating her disappointment. What is sad to me, still today, is she could not appreciate the man I am without the yoke of religion. I have not descended into the depths of ‘hell.’

    • @dianahill5116
      @dianahill5116 7 месяцев назад +2

      Everyone is born atheist.
      Religion has to be taught.
      Atheism doesn't have to be taught.

  • @rosemarymceathron4037
    @rosemarymceathron4037 7 месяцев назад +6

    I wish people of all faiths could listen and appreciate what you are saying. This is how I feel, but lack the articulate ability to impart such wisdom.

  • @kiprawk8161
    @kiprawk8161 7 месяцев назад +5

    Seth, i could listen to you all day. A simple message that screams volumes! "You do you.”"

  • @centaur7607
    @centaur7607 7 месяцев назад +4

    What a beautiful message. ❤ I'm sure it will help a lot of people.

  • @victorlegret9036
    @victorlegret9036 6 месяцев назад +1

    One of the most rare atheistic theme vid. I noted several times your honest tears while recalling your memories about your dad, family gatherings, intentions etc...I am sending you my sincere online virtual hugs. I feel my journey similarly.
    Once I awaken from my Jehovahs witness cult indoctrination, being born into it, I several times kneel down in front of my dear mom, I spoken my heart out with literal tears of a grown man, I tried my best to ensure her about my love and my wish to be with her and my kids every week as for previous decades. Than her response was always: unless you come back as JW you are not welcome here and strict shunning is applied from her ever since.
    Thank you. Even most of the atheistic channels provide pure emotionless flood of scientific facts destroying fairy tails, like my favourite series AmonRa on the flood. Even atheists are a lot ironic and sarcastic concerning religious themes, You successfully showed that we deeply and truly love too. Hopefully christianity and religiosity generally evolve to a state of tolerance to see it clearly.

  • @bannol1
    @bannol1 7 месяцев назад +49

    I will fight for the right to be free from other people’s religions. We should all remember that ‘religion spoils everything and god is not great.’

    • @AW-uv3cb
      @AW-uv3cb 7 месяцев назад +5

      Much as I agree with your sentiment, I think this is a counterproductive comment in case of a video that specifically aims to help people build bridges over their differences, as opposed to alienating them from each other. There's time for venting and for broad-stroke statements, but... is this really it? I deconverted a few years ago, and before and during that process I was lucky to be surrounded with atheist friends who were happy to talk to me about everything and accepted me as I was. I'm convinced that if, instead of them, I was surrounded with atheists who jumped on every chance to speak badly of my then-beliefs, not only it would not have helped me on my deconversion journey, it would have actually stalled me. And I'm sure that's not your goal 🙂

    • @davidjanbaz7728
      @davidjanbaz7728 7 месяцев назад

      You seem very angry: that is NO improvement from honoring God and putting others first in service to help them.
      At least what Christianity teaches.
      I am sure in your eyes Christianity is the worst religion: most American atheists don't even think about the horrors Islam is doing around the world.

    • @tracierendell4422
      @tracierendell4422 7 месяцев назад +2

      ​​@AW-uv3cb I completely agree with your reply to Bano. The video was more about respect and empathy rather than pushing (fighting for) beliefs.

    • @MikeBrown-ex9nh
      @MikeBrown-ex9nh 7 месяцев назад

      ​​​@@AW-uv3cb Building bridges is one thing, but that doesn't mean giving up your own beliefs or feeling you can't express yourself. I, too, have had it with Christians judging me or anyone else they disagree with, and I've certainly had it with their arrogant attitude and attempting to force their beliefs on everyone else. That includes right wing politics, book banning in schools, and women's rights, as well as their intolerance toward the LGBT community. And as far as God is great, they have ignored the pain and suffering in this world. Would a great and loving God allow innocent children to suffer birth defects or childhood cancer? That imaginary, invisible diety in the sky is pretty difficult to praise. It's hard to build a bridge when religion demands it is built on their terms.

    • @dianahill5116
      @dianahill5116 7 месяцев назад +4

      ​@@AW-uv3cb
      Everyone is born atheist.
      Religion has to be taught.
      Atheism doesn't have to be taught.

  • @yacaattwood2421
    @yacaattwood2421 7 месяцев назад +8

    I’m sorry to hear of the death of your father, Seth.
    I would add, to those believers in relationship to someone questioning, deconstructing or declaring non-belief: Don’t Squirm.
    Don’t Squirm if unbelief, if the questions and doubts, of others occasion a possible tremor in your faith
    Don’t Squirm if you find yourself having to dig deeper into your own beliefs
    Don’t Squirm being around the person who no longer shares your faith - connect with them in a different way than belief

  • @DiddlyD-xx2ih
    @DiddlyD-xx2ih 7 месяцев назад +10

    Thanks for your thoughts, Seth.

  • @tinag7381
    @tinag7381 7 месяцев назад +4

    So beautifully and perfectly said. I'm scared to have two people close to me see this video as I haven't come out yet. I'd like to share it as it would be from their viewpoint. It is so very difficult for me as these are people I cannot nor would want to lose. One is my sister, who is my best friend, and the other is considered my best friend of to whom I'm not related, and is a very devout Catholic. I was raised in this religion so much so that I still find myself saying "oh dear Lord" or "oh God please help me", even I'm not really believing in an omniscient being in the sky. Show me proof of you then ok. Until then, eh, not so much.

  • @aubreyleonae4108
    @aubreyleonae4108 7 месяцев назад +1

    I cant thank you enough. You said all th e things ive longed to say but i cannot organize it, in my mind. You put it all together. Thank you so much, Seth. You are an honorable man.

  • @jacquolen1952
    @jacquolen1952 7 месяцев назад +2

    Another spot-on presentation Seth. If I had a voice like yours I could probably make the pitch myself! You are truly a beacon for rationality.

  • @UnderAttack524
    @UnderAttack524 7 месяцев назад +7

    Love it ! and will share with a few family members.

  • @Dr_Wrong
    @Dr_Wrong 2 месяца назад +2

    My parents were "deeply" religious solely as an excuse to act abusive.

  • @sunstone6106
    @sunstone6106 7 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you for your eloquence. Thank you for the message.

  • @dimitriegeorgeson1313
    @dimitriegeorgeson1313 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you Seth you have put into words what most of us feel.

  • @franktalley
    @franktalley 7 месяцев назад

    I remember your radio days. It was during that time period that I discovered Shakespeare and with it Hamlet. "This above all to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,Thou canst not then be false to any man." Those words propelled me away from my Pentecostal upbringing. I didn't abandon my family they abandoned me. They are all dead now, I hope in their final hours their faith eased the passage into the great unknown.😇

  • @randywaldron2715
    @randywaldron2715 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this honest and important message. I've been an atheist for half a century. I never had the family conflicts. It was much easier for me, and I needed this reminder of the drama and pain that others have had to wade through. I take my situation too much for granted.

  • @AndroidHarris
    @AndroidHarris 3 месяца назад +3

    My parents think my atheism is just a phase and that its still part of gods plan.

  • @idgie68able
    @idgie68able 6 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video. I sent it to my mother in the hopes that she may understand me better. Fingers crossed.

  • @yoda5129
    @yoda5129 7 месяцев назад

    Saving this to show my husband who is still a believer. I appreciate what you do Seth! ❤

  • @michaelhall2709
    @michaelhall2709 7 месяцев назад

    What a wonderful, heartfelt, empathetic example of decency and outreach in this divisive world. As a lifelong agnostic I couldn’t concur more. Subscribed.

  • @imagomonkei
    @imagomonkei 7 месяцев назад +1

    If I ever come out to my parents, I will be sharing this video with them.

  • @sassyinscrubs5206
    @sassyinscrubs5206 7 месяцев назад +4

    We love you seth!!!! ❤❤❤

  • @Gideonslc
    @Gideonslc 6 месяцев назад

    A Mormon man wrote "Letter for my wife" to explain his deconstruction of his faith. There is also Dr John Dehlin who did a 3 part episode with Mormon Stories Podcast about how to tell friends and family about ones faith transition away from a belief in the religion. Thank you for adding to this reference material in such a solid refreshing way and valudating the spouse and family who still believe that we non-believers still love. It seems to be an all to common codependency in religious relationships- if you stop believing in the religion and loving God have you stopped believing in and loving your spouse? Of course not. But thats not an easy discussion to have.

  • @zacharylovell9565
    @zacharylovell9565 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you, Seth. Forwarded.

  • @JamieEWood
    @JamieEWood 7 месяцев назад +1

    What's hilarious is that My Mom and BFF are strong in their faiths...so they refuse to say "atheist"...they use the label "skeptic" as if I might change my mind. But I love them, and if that makes them comfortable I let it go. But they are the only two people in my life that get away with it.❤❤

  • @carl7674
    @carl7674 6 месяцев назад

    AMEN! No one says it better.

  • @valerieaquino6028
    @valerieaquino6028 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you, I’m going thru this journey now. I appreciate your sincere way of explaining what you have gone thru

  • @atincrab
    @atincrab 7 месяцев назад +1

    So very well said, Seth. I'm downloading this to carry with me should I need someone more articulate than myself to express how I feel. Thanks so much, bud.

  • @elsjemassyn8921
    @elsjemassyn8921 6 месяцев назад

    As a non Christian but believer I think this message is true and fair.
    I have found more love for humans and animals among tne tattood, nose ringed, agnostics, atheists, than those in the church.
    Follow the kindness compassion and love NOT the religion or the preacher

  • @calldwnthesky6495
    @calldwnthesky6495 7 месяцев назад +1

    this was great Seth... thank you

  • @paullucas6019
    @paullucas6019 7 месяцев назад +2

    Oh poor religious family members! What they DO to family members who no longer believe is fabulously cruel and very religious in the most delusional way. As an atheist, who figured it out early, I had to mourn the lovely little lies and delusions that had been fed to me, the community of church and family. The knowledge that you no longer connect with or have a relationship with your parents and siblings and that they don't want relationship unless YOU change.

  • @mildredmartinez8843
    @mildredmartinez8843 7 месяцев назад

    Your commentary is something that was badly needed but as far as I know not discussed as extensively and thoughfully as you have. I think it can be applied both ways, to the atheist and the believer when facing a loved one who has embarked on a journey much different from yours. You have done such a great job in this video. You are one of my favorite atheists.

  • @RussBLib
    @RussBLib 7 месяцев назад

    Wonderful. Excellent. A heapin' helpin' of superlatives. Thank you, Seth.

  • @davidpebworth
    @davidpebworth 7 месяцев назад +3

    Good one, thank you Seth

  • @lenworthduffus8962
    @lenworthduffus8962 7 месяцев назад

    I am loving this letter it says it all thank you Seth

  • @Fiawordweaver
    @Fiawordweaver Месяц назад

    I searched utube and google with the following words: how does a non believer live among Christians? The results in both searches had similar titles: should Christians have non believer friends, can Christians marry non Christians, etc. I joined a facebook group for non believers and then unjoined. Many angry voices. I’m not angry. Christianity fueled guilt inside my already traumatized being from my toxic family. I needed distance from both. I’m 71. I’m tired. I just want peace to what’s left to my life to live. I stopped trying to fit in as a Christian 3 years ago.

  • @bthomson
    @bthomson 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks for that! 🙏👍💎🎯

  • @KBosch-xp2ut
    @KBosch-xp2ut 7 месяцев назад

    I was lucky that, despite my mom being a believer (I think…?), she never pushed it on me and never judged. She also had a great sense of humour when I (lightheartedly) joked about god or Jesus….
    Thank you mom. I miss you.
    I know she’s down there looking up at me…. ;)

  • @OliverThalmann
    @OliverThalmann 6 месяцев назад

    Seth, you‘re doing amazing work. 👍🏼

  • @asian432
    @asian432 7 месяцев назад

    What an expressive video content, Seth. I am a big fan of your activism. You know, my wife is a Catholic, and I am an Atheist... we don't attack each other because of our differences, but from time to time, we discuss things about her beliefs and my atheism, and we end up respecting hers and respecting mine. At the end of the day, we have been married for 30 years now. By the way, I have been an atheist since my early 20s.

  • @jackielaskowski4010
    @jackielaskowski4010 7 месяцев назад

    Excellent, Seth. Simply excellent.

  • @robertsandberg2246
    @robertsandberg2246 7 месяцев назад

    As a Christian, I appreciate this. Keep well Seth

  • @alexandraparadela9548
    @alexandraparadela9548 7 месяцев назад

    Wonderfully said, thank you Seth

  • @youdontknowme8129
    @youdontknowme8129 7 месяцев назад

    One of your best Seth. Thank you.

  • @buffalobob3796
    @buffalobob3796 6 месяцев назад +1

    I don't know if this fits with what you just said, but I thought I would share it anyway. Apologies if it doesn't. I'm a recovered alcoholic who's also an atheist. Religion was never a big part of my life as my parent didn't go to church, which explains most of my life, but I still believed. I got sober eleven years ago and became an atheist after that. Since I still believed I decided to read the bible to see what it was about. That turned me into an atheist. My girlfriend, whom I've been with five and half years, is very religious. She was more worried about me being an alcoholic than an atheist. We have talked about our views and respect them. She has admitted to me that she has no proof that there is a god, but believes for personal reasons. Like I said, I respect her view. As for my meetings, I've said that I am an atheist and let it go at that. For those to don't know, people go with Religion, a higher power, or a power greater than themselves. I use a power greater than myself. It was the term Good Orderly Direction, or Group Of Drunks. I use the group of drunks one. In other words, I use the fellowship itself to help me. That is my journey.
    Sorry for being so long, but there are a lot of drunks out there who struggle with the god concept. That is alright. It is called the god of your understanding for a reason. Your journey, your understanding. Again, sorry for being so long, thanks.

  • @survive323
    @survive323 7 месяцев назад

    Great take on life. After all it is life. Great discussion. Thanks 😊

  • @VioletWonders
    @VioletWonders 7 месяцев назад

    Beautifully said. Thank you.

  • @resistfascism
    @resistfascism 7 месяцев назад +5

    You are the best, Seth. Keep speaking the truth.

  • @dianahill5116
    @dianahill5116 7 месяцев назад

    I've noticed, that many news medias don't like people to criticize and/or mock religion and/or religious people.

  • @genxskeptic5816
    @genxskeptic5816 7 месяцев назад

    I lost my DaD in 2017 and he never knew I was an atheist. My mother suspected, but never flat out asked me until about 2018. She now knows without a doubt, but nothing changed between us. I think maybe because her sister always dabbled in jehovah witness insanity. Maybe she thought compared to that, atheist wasn’t THAT bad. I wasn’t going to shun her, that’s for sure!

  • @suewarren4486
    @suewarren4486 7 месяцев назад

    This is so interesting. I just realized that even though my parents were Lutheran school teachers and missionaries when i became an atheist it was only my sister that seemed genuinely upset and worried for me. Parents seemed more worried about appearances and then just detached.

  • @kevinnazario1015
    @kevinnazario1015 7 месяцев назад

    Is very difficult to deal with family members that are trained in believing without question. To hate and shut out anyone who doesn't agree with them. No explanation or rationalization is good for them. A non-believer serves evil. Period. No other answer is accepted or needed.
    They say they love you unconditionally, that is until you say you are an atheist. Then love evaporates and is replaced with disgust and fear.

  • @ridenourbikewithdystonia5888
    @ridenourbikewithdystonia5888 7 месяцев назад

    I've been married for thirty-one years this April, my spouse was indoctrinated much more hardcore than myself. When I came out of the AOG, denomination eight years ago, she really struggled for the first few years. But I just couldn't do it anymore, those churches need those people to lie to themselves in order to keep going. She still struggling when she thinks about my eternal destination. She's found some way to except my decision.

  • @jshud3
    @jshud3 6 месяцев назад

    I think there's only one thing to say to that, AMEN!

  • @nitabackes9670
    @nitabackes9670 7 месяцев назад

    In conversations with Christians, I take issue with the term “ 0:03 believers”. We’re all believers in something. When speaking with Christians, they tend to think they’re the only believers.

  • @georgeflowers3730
    @georgeflowers3730 7 месяцев назад

    Great video! This is an important message to Christians, and I hope they listen. I liked it when you mentioned that we live in a free society, and everybody can believe in what they choose, protected by law, isn’t that great?
    But somehow, Christians believe they are being persecuted.
    I want to comment on something. Many Christian churches or groups follow or are under stringent rules on how to behave and how to dress up, more so for women, so when a member, a person, stops following those rules, they are immediately rejected or expelled from the community.
    For women, it is worse than for men, and unfortunately, they are seen as sinful or, worse, the enemy.
    We are living in very worrying times, everything is polarized and politicized, and religion has been used for political purposes, very sad.

  • @katalytically
    @katalytically 7 месяцев назад

    What you have said can be applied to gay people or trans people, who are coming out to their friends and family. It really is a message for us to accept people as they are, for who they are, and not how we would like them to be. Accepting people does not mean I have to like them, nor that I have to agree with them, nor condone their behavior.

  • @jerometaperman7102
    @jerometaperman7102 6 месяцев назад +1

    I could never marry a devout person. We'd be living in different dimensions.

  • @mintybadger6905
    @mintybadger6905 7 месяцев назад

    I was lucky enough to marry a man who - like me - was raised deeply religious but has to hide his atheism from his family like I do. Having a partner who always has my back but understands how complex family dynamics are is a “blessing”.

  • @libbiecrawford467
    @libbiecrawford467 6 месяцев назад

    Soon to be ordained clergy. I work in the interfaith space and have friends and family all across the belief/non belief spectrum. I am always struck by how some people struggle with the concept that my way is right for me and your way is right for you. If you find something you see that resonates with you....let's talk.

  • @johnnycastellanetta7183
    @johnnycastellanetta7183 7 месяцев назад

    The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death - however mutable man may be able to make them - our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.
    Stanley Kubrick.
    1968 interview, Playboy. What a world we live in where such a deep and philosophical quote can be found within an almost entirely shallow pictorial magazine. I love this quote, and I love the weird irony it exists in!

  • @williamdickman7917
    @williamdickman7917 7 месяцев назад

    Thanks Seth

  • @mthmtxgk
    @mthmtxgk 7 месяцев назад

    Well said.

  • @gsp3428
    @gsp3428 7 месяцев назад

    I am glad I finally realized God exists.

    • @chrisrendon461
      @chrisrendon461 6 месяцев назад

      You know this or believe it ?

    • @gsp3428
      @gsp3428 6 месяцев назад

      @@chrisrendon461 both.

    • @chrisrendon461
      @chrisrendon461 6 месяцев назад

      @@gsp3428 oooo sweet so you have proof …whats the proof u want to know the scientific knowledge that you hold because this would change science forever it would be awesome!

  • @edwin5419
    @edwin5419 7 месяцев назад

    If only they knew how easy it would be to lie to ourselves and pretend to believe. They don't realise how many people they see at church every week took that option. Even the vocal ones. How do I know? I was one for a bit until I forced myself to stare into the abyss

  • @bobbart4198
    @bobbart4198 7 месяцев назад

    ... Bottom line : A loved one has grown in a way that you have not, that DOESN'T mean that they have grown apart from you. A truly mature human being can hold different views from others, without becoming " The Other " ...

  • @dailywisdomwordsshirleysat4005
    @dailywisdomwordsshirleysat4005 7 месяцев назад

    Even if freedom of religion ceases to be legal, I will still believe. Jail is nothing to me.

    • @TheThinkingAtheist
      @TheThinkingAtheist  7 месяцев назад +3

      You fear jail? In this country? You're a part of the most privileged demographic in the United States. I think you're gonna be fine.

    • @davidjanbaz7728
      @davidjanbaz7728 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@TheThinkingAtheistthe more you want to persecute Christianity the faster it grows: the Church in Iran is one of the fastest growing churches.
      So go ahead!!!

    • @TheThinkingAtheist
      @TheThinkingAtheist  7 месяцев назад +4

      “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

    • @chrisrendon461
      @chrisrendon461 6 месяцев назад

      @@davidjanbaz7728Funny because studies show islam will overtake christianity in the next decade…

  • @stevebarile2377
    @stevebarile2377 7 месяцев назад

    Bravo!

  • @catmoore1448
    @catmoore1448 7 месяцев назад

    I find it really offensive that people in my life want to force their beliefs on me. I have told them that, just as they have the right to their own faith and beliefs, so do I. The response is, 'You're wrong.' To which I reply, 'I have the right to be wrong.' It occurs to me that maybe they need to worry about their own decency as human beings and stop worrying about mine. The belittling and judgement does not seem to me to follow any true Christian doctrine. What I really want to say is, 'If you truly believed and truly had faith (as you say you do), you would realize that God doesn't need your help.'

  • @jimscott9974
    @jimscott9974 7 месяцев назад +1

    Well done.

  • @marcgenevey
    @marcgenevey 7 месяцев назад +1

    oh man, you're good !

  • @lizm5481
    @lizm5481 7 месяцев назад

    My guess is that at least half of the devout Christians out here believe if you are a good and loving person, you too will go to heaven whether you believe in it or not. Evangelicals are not the whole of Christianity!

  • @JebusHypocristosX
    @JebusHypocristosX 7 месяцев назад

    "religion poisons everything" The immortal Hitch

  • @davidrobinson9507
    @davidrobinson9507 6 месяцев назад

    I could say on one level I'm an atheist. But that would be too easy. There is so much we don't know. The origin, size, intention or full nature of the universe, for starters. And, why does synchronicity seem to rain on me daily? And what about the reward of good deeds?( Sometimes) My father was Jewish. My mother Lutheran. While growing up, we had lots of bible content in our so-called secular public school. Jews were treated as an off-shoot variety of the population; serious people who only eat bitter foods and dress funny. I used to hitch- hike a lot in my youth. I met devout Christians, Baha'i, native people, emancipated Jehovah's witnesses, I went to school with kids that joined cults, I've known self-professed Druids, Goths, Pagans, Wiccans, my best friend became a Buddhist.
    Having said all that, it seems to me that all these spiritual directions are like different colours, flavours or recipés of trying to create the perfect unified theory or masterpiece of reason.
    I think I have learned this much; being open is a process of not packing dogma into your psyche. A Hindu man on a train, while we were traveling up north here in Canada, and I sat and listened to a young guy who was angry and fed up, he'd become surly and distrustful of all government, vaccination, Information, media, etc, he had embraced those dark conspiracies. He thought he'd figured it all out. My new Hindu friend said to me " the empty vessel makes the loudest sound", about this guy. He meant by 'empty' that this guy lacked some kind of wholesome presence in his heart and soul. So even a concept like being full or empty can be dualistic. I try to be full of gratitude for all the friendship and love and good feelings amongst the people who are in my life. But I try to be as empty as possible of assumptions, attachments and material longings. One thing I am highly distrustful of is groups who want you to join, pay, volunteer, patch over, and start to spout slogans. I see that happening with the current right wing cult trend. Before I drift over from spirituality to politics, I'll just conclude by saying there's so much we don't know. That makes us humble and open. There's so much we know, that is love, kindness and respect, and that gives us enough to meet each day.

  • @Mr_badjoke
    @Mr_badjoke 7 месяцев назад

    They typically call that person nutz. It allows them to stay in a false belief rather than addressing the true issue. After all they make it hard when you get shunned by the townspeople

  • @JoshuaTrenge
    @JoshuaTrenge 7 месяцев назад

    I’m an Atheist and proud of it….

  • @RiiDii
    @RiiDii 7 месяцев назад +3

    Great discussion ("presentation," but yeah). Consider this perspective that the new atheist who was religious in their previous years out of care for their loved ones. Now, they've stopped acting in a manner that demonstrates that care and connection. It can be scary.
    I don't know, but it seems reasonable that religion might have developed as a social safety net. If a stranger came to your village but shared your religion, you could generally trust them. Otherwise, the stranger could present a significant risk. We should realize that, as atheists, we have removed this religious uniform of recognition.

    • @littlebitofhope1489
      @littlebitofhope1489 7 месяцев назад +4

      Humans are tribal. If it wasn't religion, it would be accent, or dress, or name, or language. The word for 'stranger" in many languages is the same as "enemy". Humans are really good at dehumanizing other humans.

    • @EmperorMegas
      @EmperorMegas 7 месяцев назад +1

      Atheists haven't taken anything away from believers. There have always been things that separate people from others, irrespective of things shared in common.

    • @RiiDii
      @RiiDii 7 месяцев назад

      @@EmperorMegas It's not that the atheist has taken anything away. Our brains lie to us. In general, the atheist has figured that out and recognizes the lies told by our brains. The believer hasn't figured that out. The believer's brain tells the believer that something has been taken.

    • @RiiDii
      @RiiDii 7 месяцев назад

      @@littlebitofhope1489 True. Religion, perhaps, has a more explicit - more identifiable structure. It can also make us feel better about such dehumanizing discrimination since we can claim religion is a choice.

  • @AGNOSTIC_incomprehensibleXIV
    @AGNOSTIC_incomprehensibleXIV 6 месяцев назад

    A lot of what's said here about atheists applies to agnostics and deists as well.

  • @IheartDogs55
    @IheartDogs55 7 месяцев назад

    You've been presenting the Thinking Atheist for years. Why this message now, after so much time? Did some event occur that caused you to record this video at this time?

  • @fartingduck5316
    @fartingduck5316 7 месяцев назад

    Im sure you've heard it said, The only mistake the devil ever made was trying to reason with Jesus. No matter how poetic and beautiful and true your message may be, it will be dismissed as "It's the devil trying to deceive me". they you will tell you Jesus gave sight to a blind man, what they forget is that the blind man wanted to see. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

  • @Marc010
    @Marc010 7 месяцев назад +1

    IDK. I think the level of Christianity and the intensity of their beliefs make a difference. You say it's because they love you but it's easy for that to become condescending and mentally abusive. It is not unlike religious people who try to fix gay people out of love but fail to see the mental abuse it causes.

  • @salviaspuzzle
    @salviaspuzzle 7 месяцев назад

    Thank god my family didn't hassle me for leaving the church. 😉