Therapist Reacts To: Labour by Paris Paloma *follow-up thoughts to come bc I didn’t do it justice*
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- I have so many more thoughts after sitting with this song that I really don’t feel my reaction does it justice. I will share more thoughts soon but please keep this in mind. I had a delayed reaction for sure.
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NOT LEGAL/MEDICAL ADVICE: This video is made solely for the purpose of commentary for entertainment and educational purposes, and no therapist -client relationship is created through comments or interaction with this channel. My reactions are my own personal reactions, which I am entitled to have. I am not communicating a diagnosis of any person in this video as no one in this video is my client and I am not assessing them.
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![Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jvU4xWsN7-A/mqdefault.jpg)
I love the first part in the chorus that says "The capillaries in my eyes are bursting" because when you're being choked your capillaries burst. She's saying she feels suffocated by the relationship. It also kind of goes back to the line about her hanging from a rope if you're thinking about that line in that context.
I also heard another reactor comment that this can happen to a woman during childbirth.
On top of that, I think a strong argument can be made for underlying violence (IPV and DV specifically). The lines "so that he never lifts a finger" and "it's not an act of love if you make her" could also be very suggestive in conjunction to choking too 😢
It works on so many levels!
Also during labour (giving birth) it’s common for your capillaries to burst, probably what she’s poetically referencing
@@emmavinkit happens during every situation in which the blood pressure in the head rises suddenly due to increased pressure in the chest or abdomen, or a blood pressure crisis.
Coughing, strangulation, child birth (especially when the breathing techniques are not used), vomiting, holding your breath.
Just think of every moment the muscles especially around your solar plexus contract suddenly and you feel that sudden pressure in your nose, eye and fore head.
It happens, when the blood is pushed in the head and the pressure rises to fast for your body to regulate by dilating the arteries. Wether or not blood vessels burst depends on the suddenness, the general pessure peak and how fragile your blood vessles are. I zave for example a minor weakness of my connective tissues, I had bursting blood vessels from yawning ... Others might only have them, when they are in a massive crisis.
Strong emotions can cause a rise in blood pressure, too. So anger, sadness, despair especially combined with that "choking on your tears" moment or when you breath in deeply and are about to scream can cause that, too.
But it is allways a sign of having internally too much pressure, in a literal sense, and thus serves as a great picture for the metaphorical pressure.
Oh of course external pressure can cause this, too. If it causes the blood pressure in the head to rise.
@@jessilovelyit happens in every situation in which pressure either internally from your diaphragm and abdominal muscles contracting, or externally cause your blood to be pressed into your head, or prevented from freely leaving it (hanging upside down for too long can cause that, too, the pressure is thanks to gravity in that case).
So lifting heavy objects, child birth, choking, throwing up, this "choking on your tears" moment, can all cause that.
Another option is that under stress the blood pressure can rise so high that this happens, which is why people with intense anger problems might experience that.
It is as such a symptome of pressure either literally or metaphorically.
@@hannajung7512 interesting! I once burst a blood vessel in my eye as I was hanging off the side of my back (reverse stretching from slouching too long). I didn’t know until the next morning my whole eye was blood red, I thought I’d had an aneurism or something crazy lol but the doctor just asked if I was constipated and pushing too hard and I found out why after a bit of thinking 😂
People also say under stress you can actually cry blood, like the famous Bible story before Jesus gets crucified and he cries blood. I’m guessing that’s connected too.
This is THE female rage song. I love this song sm and we need more songs like this.
That is why she has to react to more Florence songs! We are still waiting
you could try dead men don't rape as well.
One of the first singles I ever bought was Woman by Nenah Cherry. @@nahuelconstantine
You should hear "Don't cry for your daughters eve"
Chinchilla is amazing, and Sarah Hester Ross.
not “all men” but every woman has a story
Exactly!
YES!
Every female friend I made had a story
It may not be all men but it's always a man.
“Its not an act of love, if you make her.“ Was one of my favourite lines, because YES.
It speaks strongly to me about what I allowed in my marriage.
My husband is a great help around the house. I never have to ask him to do basic tasks because he does them as soon as he sees they need doing, this is why we've stayed married these last 20 years and hopefully for the rest of our lives.
I do however vividly remember my *FATHER* telling me when I was around 12 "If you don't want to do the dishes, just pretend like you don't know how and your mom will do them for you. This works for me". Of course this never worked for me because I'm a girl thus taking care of the house was part of my job, my brother managed to get away with it though.
I hope that Ur marriage will be long lasting and healthy.
I wish the best for I and Ur family
I KNEW you were gonna love this one.
As someone with Religious trauma the lyrics "For someone I thought was my savior, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour." Hits so hard...
This song just really reminds me of my coming out of religion and dealing with the trauma.
Hi! I’m sorry if this seems rude but do you still believe in your religion? I’m just really curious you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
100% leaving my religion and all that was drilled into since childhood has been very difficult. I feel all sorts of emotions, idk about you but this song helps me process the anger I feel for being “tricked” into my religion. I feel like I’m learning all over again as an adult. ❤
You'd mentioned that you were going to post some follow-up thoughts - I was wondering if you could do that whilst reacting to the official music video? It just has SO many hidden meanings that I would love to see you unpack! Loved this song and reaction!
I second that!
yes !!
There's also another song called "Last woman on Earth" from the same artist, talk about how men wouldn't leave us alone even after death. The fear of what would happen to our body, being taken advantage of and also all this "choose the man or the bear" argument that's going on right now (which, by the wayyyy Paris Paloma wrote the song before the argument started)
There is an underlying ambiguous suggestion of violence in this song that is SO chilling 😢
Those lines, "so that he never lifts a finger" can be likened to the idea of someone raising their hand against someone else.
"It's not an act of love if you make her" can also be referring to the literal "act" of love, suggesting SA in an IPV/DV situation 😢
Woah, I hadn't even thought of the second line in that way. For me, because I was taking my own experiences, I thought about how my community (due to religious and ethnic cultural reasons) force girls to take on domestic chores like cooking. And they have such a special focus on making sure to feed and care for your father (making him food, packing up his plates, fixing his plates at parties, all that) as things that are "acts of love" and respect you're supposed to do to prove you love your father. But how is it an act of love if you have to beat and yell at me to make me do it. And how is it an act of love if you've never and you'd never do the same for me?
I love how multidimensional these lyrics can be
This song always reminded me of 'Tolerate it' by Taylor Swift.
It is not exactly the same message, but the thought that a man is essentially taking a woman's love for granted with an almost medieval sounding music (I'm thinking about the eras tour performance and the labour music video) makes me associate them together.
I love this song so much, thanks for reacting to it!!
Yes!! I was gonna say that at one point
The way her eyes were getting glossy at the end shows how Paris touches the souls of all women... Somewhere along the line we have all been there before with men... its not all men but all women. ❤
This is so great because it’s very “mad woman” to me. The speaker is calling it like it is and is speaking to the morality of it and having a voice as she stands up to being taken for granted and taken advantage of. She is taking back her power by no longer staying silent. I love it so. The fact that it can be controversial(totally agree, sadly), to me, is an extreme problem itself in our society. Once again, thank you to all the partners out there who DO share in the responsibility which is often a source of so much beauty in fostering healthy boundaries, relationships, and memories through everyday activities. Love this. Want to listen to more of this artist!
You HAVE to watch the music video! It is deeply connected to the lyrics and gorgeously done 😊
I think this song provokes like a visceral reaction for women that speaks to a millennia of repression and misogyny. It taps into all the anger I feel for all the women that have had to and will continue to experience this treatment.
When this song came on my feed o was in a period of my life feeling trapped in a cycle of constant giving everything. Work, labour, time, energy, psychological support, economical support, emotional support and everything in between.
I was told that I wasn't doing enough, that I had let myself go and that I wasn't the person he met.
This song hit me hard like a cannonball inside my brain.
I withdrew my energy and solely gave it to me, for me and by my choice only to my children. I've lost some people down the line, who expected a willing victim/maid to labour their way out of life. That included my partner.
I felt unimaginably better only few months later. Not all men are like that, but there is certainly a high percentage of them living around us and the first impressions can be very deceiving, leading us to a life we never imagined to live.
this song reminds me of how it felt to be my father’s daughter. i raised his other children for him. kept the house. went to MIDDLE SCHOOL. was an honors student. when high school came i kept good grades and worked a part time job. i knew what being an adult was like before i could drive.
Two songs with similar feels are "Same Old Energy" and "Burn your Village" by Kiki Rockwell.
Love your reaction and breakdown of Labor! Especially your progression of understanding throughout it.
Up!
Kiki is SO GOOD
First video of yours ive seen:
1. Love to see peoples reactions and breakdown of this song. Such amazing lyrics.
2. Your eyes match so well with the green in your pretty wallpaper
Ahhh I've been so hoping you'd do this song!! Thank you! Paris Paloma has so many brilliant other songs I'd love to hear your thoughts on too! From As Good A Reason, to The Last Woman on Earth so Drwyall to... all of them 🤣🤣
Seeing this preformed live with the entire audience scream singing this is absolutely primal and guttural. You can FEEL everyone’s trauma, anger, exhaustion… it’s almost overwhelming.
I also recommend The Last Woman on Earth from Paris Paloma. Another artist would be Sofia Isella! Everybody Supports Women, Us & Pigs and Doll People, absolutely beautiful ( and haunting) songs!
Last Woman on Earth is a phenomenal song. I agree with this suggestion.
Seconding this one 1000x over with Last Woman on Earth by Paris Paloma. Absolutely an incredible song to blind react to and analyze as a therapist. Just as powerful as Labour in its message.
Sofia is amazing, pure art!
This song is truly heartbreaking but so real to so many women
This is one of my current fav songs, it's just so impactful. That deep feminine rage. and Her voice is beautiful. Excellent reaction!
Quite different music-wise but I'd be so interested to see you react to some Jason Isbell songs. Save the World, It Gets Easier, Death Wish, and St Peter's Autograph I think would be a really interesting songs to see your take on!
Yess! Also, you absolutely *have* to watch the MV. Not necessarily react to it, but watch it, the symbolism and the acting is incredible!
this song is so powerful and means so much. idk if you caught it but the singing behind her is a choir of little girls.
I also think you should react to “everybody supports women” by sophia isella it is jarring
Love Paris Paloma. Would love for you to react to her song as good a reason. Very relatable lyrics for women as well :)
As a therapist, i highly reccomend u listen to 'Hunter' by paris paloma. That song did to me and my anxiety what months of therapy couldnt do
The music video is a must with this one
Also i would love a couple more reactions to paris, her music is amazing! i fell in love with her after i saw her opening for Maisie Peters (also a big recommendation)
Love your reaction to this. I’ve heard it dozens of times and still tear up every single time.
I am very glad that you did a reaction videos to this song .
I am a 49 year old male from Vancouver Wa. near Portland Oregon and I LOVED the song! I am going to share the song every where!
thank you so much for reacting to this one!!! i love you so much
You have to watch the official video! So powerful. The song is incredibly powerful add the video and it's very meaningful. It has a ton of symbolism.
I recommend As Good a Reason, also by Paris Paloma!! I love it so much !
HIGHLY recommend the official music video. Really adds to the song meaning ❤
I love this song so much and I hate when people say that this song is ‘bad’ or that the song is for everyone.
Beautiful reaction ❤
Im the eldest of two daughters raised by a single mother and I absolutely wept when i first heard the verse about "if we had a daughter"
I think you would like her song drywall from the same album as labor
ive been waiting for this! PLEASE do as good a reason and hunter aswell!!
i love your reaction so much!
This song is important especially 2024 / 2025. In the US we have lost rights to our own bodies. We had men determine if we should live through pregnancy & childbirth because the child is more important than the woman is to them. Women have died because even when the fetus is not viable we still didn't deserve to live in some states. Sexual assault happens to 1 in 3 women. There was men that forced women to change their vote because they felt they didn't vote the right way AKA picking Trump. Now that Trump's actually in office he spent the last less than a week destroying everything about our country. They just put out a bill in the house (HR 7) stating that Women's health care needs to take into account the needs of men, families, and community. Not too long ago women only got to go to college to gain their Mrs ( find a husband & get married). I'm 48 and my mother is in her 80s. When she married my father in the 1950s, she couldn't get a bank account in her name, own a home, or make reproductive decisions without her husband, brother or fathers permission. My father didnt want kids so he was able to force my mom on to birth control. She stopped taking it behind his back because it made her very sick. When she got pregnant with me , he gave her the option of abortion or divorce. She chose to have me but lost everything. She had to go home to her parents and had to sign a legal document saying they had no legal children of their marriage. I never met him, wasn't involved in his family, and my mom never got a single dime from him. This was how the US was not too long ago. They are dragging us back to that now. We are terrified
I love this song. It's a power song for me, I listen to it everyday.
I have been WAITING FOR THIS REACTION 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I highly reccommend watching her music video at some point, it really adds to the vibe of the song
That song is a scorcher! Brilliant. I really like the chantlike, incantatory quality.
Your face says it all 😂❤❤❤ that was exactly my face first time I heard this song. I realized that maybe I have avoided the part of doing all the fisical actual labour but the emotional and mental weight of all my relationships has being on my side and one day I got, like she said, f*cking tired.
Omg I love this song perfect song to call out blatant misogyny and sexism in 2024
Even though personally I haven't experienced this in a romantic relationship, I watch my mom, aunts, grandmothers and later us daughters do everything catering to the men of the family. This song especially is very heart wrenching, I would suggest FRUITS as well as it dives into a more religious take on womanhood.
The fact that you look like Paris so much is cool
eveytime i hear this song it reminds me to fight for my dreams and all and for one fight for myself to cut this rope. She was giving every silent roped women a song.
The official video makes it so much better!!
Singing the bridge and chorus at the state capitols all over America would be INSANE.....
Love this song
I ADORE Paris Paloma. I think you’d love Boys, Bugs and Men, Good as a Reason, and The Fruits as well
OMG, you reviewed my favorite song, yay! Please, please, please review the music video for this song next, it really expands the universe of the song in a great way
One of the things I found most striking that you'll see with the music video is the motif of pomegranates. Besides being an ancient symbol of women and fertility, in Greek mythology, eating pomegranate seeds is what bound Persephone to Hades. It's also a theory that when the Bible was being translated, some things were changed and the Creation story originally had Eve tempted with a pomegranate rather than an apple. And then near the end of the video, you see Paris devouring a pomegranate ravenously, makes her appear as though she's covered in blood.
I have a loving partner, he's amazing, but I always sing this song with so much rage... SO MUCH RAGE. I had partners that were abusive, and then I think about my mom, and my grandma, and all the women that were victim of their circumstances and I get more mad. The song is amazing, but yeah, my rage gets awaken every time I listen to it.
The saddest part of this song is the second time the all day every day part comes on you can hear little kid voices in the background
you should totally watch the video for this song if you post a follow up video!
I think it would be amazing if you would also react to her song "boys, bugs and men" and "last woman on earth". They're so amazing and also might make ya a little bit emotional. ❤
Her song Drywall is also amazing.
I hadn’t known that about ancient texts! I thought men being intimidated by women and controlling them had been happening since the dawn of time. It’s so interesting to see that the good men of the world once prevailed.
I think you’d also enjoy no means no by Luna Maar. Absolutely haunting, but went under the radar
Off topic, but your wallpaper is gorgeous! Also, you should really listen to her song “boys, bugs and men”. It’s one of my favourites
This reminds me of that woman who said “Can you imagine how much I’d get done if *I* had a WIFE?” but I can’t recall who said it. Probably hundreds of thousands of women have said it, though.
you should definitely react to the cacophony version too!
So in the music video there are many things that would give you more perspective in my opinion, one thing that not many people saw and talk about is that at the beginning of the video she lights a candle that is shortened (I assume from so much use) and I thing that might be her physical representation of the woman's love being burned out and continuously trying to keep it alight even though she fell out of love.
About a minute and 40 seconds into the music video you see a tall, what looks like a barely used unlit candle (you see it in the first few seconds of the video but its hard to tell if its lit or not) and all the way till the end of the video it remains unlit, and unchanging and at the very end it goes from showing the man to the empty chair across from him showing that the woman left, but if you look at the candle she had previously lit its almost fully gone and the flame died.
That is just how I see the use of the candles cause why else would she put 2 unlit candles, one placed by each person. It's just my opinion so feel free to tell me if you think it means something else. Also 2 and a half minutes you can see the man playing as the husband play with his ring. which we all know what that means, so I heavily recommend you look at the music video to see all the symbolism stuff she included!
Oh please do ‘The Warmth’ by Paloma Paris aswell, I think you’ll like it. It’s very healing
the "all day, every day, therapist, mother, maid / nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant" in this song always reminds me of "wife, whore, mistress, maid, mother" from the doll people by sofia isella
probably because they both touch on the madonna-whore complex (imo) and the contradictory nature of women's roles as both saintly caretaker and wicked seductress
OMG YOU DID IT YAY
the eye rolls (i felt that girlie me too)
If you liked this I’m sure you’re also gonna love “Us and Pigs” from Sofia Isella, trust me!
Ghurlll early here✋
Admitting to your fear at the end, that your reaction may be controversial, feels like a similar wound I carry from the patriarchy. Fear to speak about these things. Grief that the wound is so deep, yet most people are completely unaware of how damaging it is. Thanks for sharing that history, now I’m going to learn more!
Please, do all her songs in her album! Especially Last Woman on Earth!
You should absolutely cover the song “Us and Pigs” by Sofia Isella
You also have to react to the last woman on earth by her !!!!
another song by Paris thats similar to this one is 'last woman on earth'. its really good.
I think the follow up should have the official video but i am glad you did this one because you focused more on the words rather then the context of the video which allows you to properly analyze the song so for your follow up please watch the official video
i'd love if you also did a video on paris paloma's song 'the fruits' VERY strong message
I have wanted you to react to it and I knew you would be surprised.
Someone already said it but I also would love to hear your analysis on Paris Paloma's song Drywall from the same album, especially considering your thoughts on weaponizing incompetence as a form of emotional abuse. The line repeated in the bridge of Drywall is one that always leaves me wordless.
You should do more paris paloma. Last woman on earth and As good a reason are *chefs kiss*
If you want a song that speaks directly to the ballerina farm situation and women's roles, I recommend 'Wings' by Iluka
How's that possible? I was just thinking about you when I listened to this song yesterday 😅
I honestly don't mind being whatever the house needs, it takes 100% from both partners to make it all work; and I LOVE my baby (i'd like more I love being a mother)
However; when that hard work is unappreciated or diminished and belittled... that's the heart breaker. Especially women's more traditional roles, some men want women to take on, but then resent and take them for granted.
You should do Salad by Blondshell!
Please, please, please, react to her song Last Woman on Earth. It's so good!
highly recommend the song “the doctor said” by chloe adams. i think you’ll find it really interesting as a therapist
PLEASE DO “put me in a movie” BY LANA DEL REY ( BUT THE “feels like sugar in me” VERSION. ) IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR SO LONG ILYSM 💗💗💗💗
I feel that you may have some thoughts on the song Bears and Wolves by Lilith Max, very much reccomend
Drywall is another great one of hers
please please please react to “orange juice” by noah kahan, i def think you would love it and i would love to see it! (warning it is a bit heavy, but not as bad as “call your mom”)
Have you seen Lydia the Bard's song "Don't Cry for Your Daughters Eve"? If not please react to it
I think what happened historically between Ancient Egypt and now that may have changed this view of women is religion. Religion back then we had multiple deities, including female Goddesses, who tended to represent life and motherhood. They were worshipped, honored, and viewed as equal to male Gods. Then came mono diety religions, where for many of them, the woman is deemed a sinner/villain from the beginning by eating the apple and by being made from a man, which could be interpreted as her being less than a man since she's only made from one piece of him. It's also all men as the deity, the deity's son, the son's followers, and now today men as leaders in the religion, men who lead the sermon/mass etc. Mono diety religions have done nothing to help women in this regard.
Then when that time of the month comes some men will even say "you're just being dramatic" to our pain among other things
You should react to please don't cry for your daughter's eve
You could react to song Paris Paloma „the last woman on earth”. ❤
PLEASE react to listen before i go and i love you by billie eilish they are such good songs
I'm shocked this song isnt banned