I think if Dan can celebrate Christmas secularly he should be able to celebrate Chanukah secularly. It’s hard for someone to realize how much the dominant culture in the UK is influenced by Christianity unless you aren’t Christian- but if you start looking at all the things that are actually tied to Christianity (stolen from paganism) that atheists do (Easter bunnies and chocolate, Christmas crackers, Christmas trees) you realize that just because a group has rituals and traditions that aren’t mainstream (due to historical oppression and pograms) doesn’t mean they can’t also be celebrated secularly. It’s just that they aren’t the dominate culture that makes them feel “religious”.
I don't know about you, but I at least have, in my mind, two very different categories of things that are religious for holidays like easter or christmas and things that are secular. Like, santa, stockings, and presents are secular. Advent wreaths, the creche, and a lot of songs are religious. The easter bunny and egg hunts are secular. Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and giving things up for lent are religious. I imagine there's some discretion there as to what people consider religious or not (like while advent wreaths seem very religious to me, advent calendars don't) but there's a separation in my mind. Is there a similar separation with Jewish traditions? I think that's where I would find hangups.
@@BVoshol I think even some of the more religious stuff can be enjoyed in a secular way too, though. Like, I'm an atheist myself and Sweet Little Jesus Boy from the Andy Williams Christmas collection is one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time, I just think it sounds beautiful, even though the lyrics don't really mean anything to me. Short of actually attending church, I think anything can be done in a secular way, it just depends on the person.
@@BVoshol That's because Christianity is the dominant cultural paradigm (and state religion in the UK). If the religion's traditions are everywhere and permeate every aspect of your life (movies, music, specials in the coffee shop, the timing of school and bank holidays) then of course you start to view them as secular because they have enough opportunity to be interpreted that way. If a religion and people's traditions have been the subject of pograms, genocide, and they are a minority in their country, of course ANY tradition will be viewed as "religious" because it isn't the dominant culture. Christmas isn't a national holiday in Islamic countries, and taking Christmas off just because because you were raised in the UK would be seen as "religious practice" in Saudi Arabia or Iran even if you just sat at home and wore silly paper hats. Also, much of cultural Judaism is mostly a home-based practice about family, history, and food, the religious aspect can be left aside most of the time and is by a lot of people who consider themselves culturally Jewish (i.e. secular shabbat is just turning off your phones and having a weekly family dinner). Passover is about telling the stories of the Jewish people through food. Hannakah is mostly about lighting candles and making lots and lots of greasy food. If a christian-raised atheist is okay with the song Silent Night, perhaps they shouldn't be offended by lighting some candles.
Another thing that people (Christians) stole from pagans is blowing out a birthday candle. If you’ve ever done that, congrats you did candle magic. You’re a witch.
I'll also note that I am not one of the people who believes Christmas is secular because I've been raised non-Christian in a Christian dominant culture. But if you view Christmas is secular, you can make the same argument for Hannakah. I get plenty of Christian propaganda, assumptions, and traditions in every aspect of my life just by living in America, even in a secular government school.
Absolutely no shade to Dan here, this is a really common thing among atheists and something I grappled with myself for a while, but he is very clearly a “cultural Christian” who, while not practicing or religious, observes Christian holidays and doesn’t see them as religious. There is literally nothing different about how he observes Christmas and Easter than how you observe Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah. It seems unfair to assume that just because your traditions aren’t the ones he grew up with, they are inherently religious or insidious in some way. It might be really interesting to have a chat about all the elements of the holidays you DO celebrate together that invoke the Christian God and Christ (the star on the Christmas tree, LOTS of Christmas music, gift giving at Christmas, Easter as a celebration of rebirth with eggs, etc) and start to unpack how you view the traditions of Judaism as just as secular and cultural as he views those traditions. Just because Christianity is the “dominant” culture in your community doesn’t mean it’s not inherently religious or more important!
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I think it’s really interesting, I’m an atheist but I celebrate christian holidays in a secular way just cause that’s the culture I was brought up around. I think you can totally celebrate “religious” holidays secularly. I imagine it’s especially important for Jewish kids given the oppression and history to be able to have celebrations that they can relate to and feel proud of.
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I’m honestly a bit taken aback by Dan’s reaction. I’d not only feel honoured if someone (especially someone I love) wanted to shared their culture with me, but thrilled too to add meaning and flavour to our family traditions. This is such a beautiful opportunity to have such a unique and precious family experience, built from traditions from both of your childhoods. I know my outsider view is missing a lot of the story, but it feels like there’s a layer of respect missing here. I really hope he reconsiders! Sending love, you two will be wonderful parents. I can’t remember when you’re due, all the best with the birth and new baby!!! 💞✨
I grew up in a family where we’d all go out to a bar with our muslim, Hindu, Jewish and atheist friends on Christmas Eve and it was like the setup for a punchline. 😂
Growing up in South London you would literally know which houses were owned by Skih families as they had the most incredible lights every Christmas. It was a massive thing growing up that you would be invited to Christmas parties by most of the Sikh children in the class, it was awesome.
When I was maybe 20, I had breakfast at a diner with my Reform rabbi. I wanted to get his input on the whole God thing. And he told me something like, "I think believing in God is down around number 5 on the list of what it means to be Jewish. Don't worry about it." Culture, respect for education, valuing the question and discussion as much as the answer, mitzvot... Then he quoted Ben-Gurion: "A Jew is anyone who says he is." If you're willing to take that on, go for it. God isn't the most important part. And your kid will decide for themself eventually.
This rabbi is expressing what he thinks Judaism is, which is the viewpoint of most reform people. It is not accurate to Judaism, instead it is a watered down version, which is basically to do what you want.
I suspect that for many Jewish males who were raised in majority Christian cultures, having no foreskin and voting on the Left are what is most important about being Jewish.
I think one of the coolest parts of Judaism is the focus on leaving the world a better place: “Tikkun Olam” rather a focus on the afterlife. I think that’s a really beautiful tradition to share and can tie into really being aware of your impact on the world and how you can help. Also festivals like Tu B’shvat which is quite secular and is about planting trees and loving the planet is a great way to introduce environmentalism!
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I think Christian-raised atheists are just more comfortable with their holidays as secular experiences, and the reason Jewish holidays like Hanukkah seem “more” religious is just because they’re more foreign. Honestly, it makes me really sad that he’d be uncomfortable with you lighting candles for your child. Especially since it’s a holiday that’s so much less religious than, say, Passover. I think he might need to unpack why a little further. Personally, as another atheist Jew, I will never celebrate Christmas. It’s been shoved down my throat here in the US in a really traumatic way, and it’s important to me that my kids don’t ever experience that at home
@Alyson I feel like you get enough Christmas if you are in a Christian dominant country- in school, in songs, at work, etc. Let kids get some experiences!
@@icarusgotooclose definitely! there’s so much context we don’t have, and I wasn’t intending to call him a hypocrite! I just think his comfort level might be more defined by the dominance of Christianity in the UK than he realizes, and it might be cause for a further conversation between them. I personally don’t see how lighting candles on a menorah is any less secular than plugging in string lights on a tree. Hanukkah isn’t even a particularly religious holiday for us- Passover and our new year are way more about god than Hanukkah is. I think most people could benefit from examining how their exposure to the mainstream impacts their view- that’s all I mean to say here.
@@anomalily exactly how I feel, actually. They’ll experience it basically nonstop outside of my home, so I don’t feel the need (or desire) to learn and then demonstrate traditions that aren’t mine for them. I would never want them to avoid someone else’s Christmas tree or not but the candy they want to buy, etc, but I think they’ll have the Christmas experience without my help, and I’d like to help them experience our culture instead
@@icarusgotooclose Definitely agree with all of your points! I wouldn't want anyone to attack Dan online when we don't know him or his intentions -- that's super unfair. I think many of the comments (or at least, mine) come from my own experiences and frustrations as an atheist Jew who has felt like my partners and friends are less willing to meet me where I am in terms of what's important for my culture because it's foreign to them. For example, the name "christ" is literally in Christmas, but most atheists from Christian homes/countries don't think that keeps it from being "secular." To me, saying the word "god" in a language neither of you understand while lighting some candles is equally (or even more-so) non-religious. And to me, the failure to see it that way comes from not exploring our own biases/indoctrinations. I'm sure myself and others are unconsciously projecting our own marginalization onto how we viewed this video, which is totally not fair and something that needs to be reigned in and examined. This topic is so complicated and difficult, and I really appreciate your perspective -- that's for commenting and forcing me to examine my viewpoint more deeply!
@@icarusgotoocloseit makes sense that these conversations are so different for different people and in different relationships. As you said, the nuance and context are key! I’m glad you two have been able to think so deeply about this. The wedding thing in particular resonates with me, since Christian wedding traditions are so new to me (and surprised me!). I could see how he might feel. I think there’s another layer with Judaism which is the history of oppression and how many of us feel it’s important to pass these traditions down that were almost wiped out. For me, I guess I expect atheists to compromise a little more with minority religious traditions than they might feel comfortable doing for Christianity (in Christian-dominated countries I mean, I’m sure this is different elsewhere), since we “need” it differently. But that’s a whole other can of worms that’s super tricky to navigate 🥵
As a cultural Jew myself, I view the Hanukkah prayers as a connection to my ancestors. I like knowing that we are united throughout time, gathering to do and say the same thing. It's a way of honoring their religion, and all they went through to practice it and exist in a world that tried to stop them.
Fellow Jew here, being Jewish is “an exception to rule” type of religion. Because it’s absolutely a religious/culture/ethnicity/lifestyle. If you want to express your Jewishness from a non religious standpoint that’s totally fine. Dan needs to understand that these traditions are important because we lost so many Jews through history and it’s not nice for anyones family traditions to fade out. I know non religious Jewish families that always treated Shabbat as basically just a family dinner, a time specific for family❤❤❤
i absolutely love your explanation with your connection to judaism as i am the exact same way. i think a lot of us are. the one thing i felt i might struggle with in the future was the guilt of not wanting to raise my child under the jewish religion since i'm agnostic. but my child is definitely going to be culturally jewish (we love latkes in this house) & i realize now that that's not a bad thing at all.
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I don't get why some folks are confused about Jewish traditions being cultural and not religious for some people! I'm religiously Christian and so Christmas and Easter are very much religious holidays to me... but at this point anyone can tell you that many Christmas and Easter traditions are basically secular and cultural. Isn't it the same thing or at least very similar?
I'd imagine it'd be a bit of a case by case basis. A lot of traditions feel at home as cultural and secular but I think most would agree that singing/chanting things in Latin/Hebrew is often a bit far.
@@zebedeesummers4413 some of the carols I've sung in my childhood were in Latin. Super atheist family, so I don't share your view on that sense. It is just music!
no. it is absolutely not the same thing. christian holidays being accepted into the mass social scene isn't about secular fun times, it's about the forced assimilation of millions of people. christmas and easter are "secular" because christians have spend literal thousands of years forcing conversion and murdering people who don't comply. jewish tradition goes beyond simple religious bounds because we're a people, a culture, an ethnic group. christians aren't. there is nothing similar about them
It's exactly the same thing to celebrate Christian and Jewish holidays secularly, however only religious Christians call themselves Christians. That's what I've never understood about cultural Jews.
As an atheist married to a muslim man, I’ve had to be way more open-minded when considering that all religion is practiced in a cultural way and that when we have children, I can view my husband’s cultural practices and traditions in a positive way. We can celebrate ramadan AND easter and it will enrich our children’s lives to have so many happy & positive traditions during their upbringing. I first met his culture with a lot of resistance because I would never want my child to feel forced into believing a certain way, but I’ve now decided to embrace our differences and see it as a positive celebration of my child’s heritage ☺️ there will be an ongoing and open conversation always about their spiritual beliefs and encouragement for them to find their own path too
@@victoriaabbey3525 It depends on the year but I’ve chosen to fast to enjoy the mental & physical benefits of fasting with my husband. It helps that we live in a muslim country so there’s lots of buzz and it feels exciting. Eid is of course lots of fun too. But I use Ramadan as my own pause and time for reflection & rest. Hope that helps!
@@lozzyholm1321 Easy to say that when you're not the one who has to go through something so painful. Women lack empathy for men when it comes to stuff like this.
Hi Hannah! I have heard an argument similar to Dan's from many atheists, and while I understand where they're coming from, I think a lot of the trepidation comes from a lack of understanding of Judaism. My favorite part about being a Jew is that everything is up to your interpretation. The main pillar of the religion is to question EVERYTHING- the teachings, the prayers, the stories, etc.- and to decide what it means to you, and what your Jewish practice looks like for yourself and your family! Because nothing is set in stone, it is super easy to celebrate Jewish holidays without centering them on the Torah or G-d, or even saying prayers. Instead, you can shift the focus to be about the history of the Jewish people, your own family history (I grew up with many Holocaust survivors, and passing on their stories has become a big part of my family's traditions on holidays), or passing on traditions that meant a lot to you as a kid! Most of my family is atheist, but that doesn't stop us from celebrating holidays together. Even though we don't bring out the Haggadahs on Passover anymore, we still come together to cook a special kosher for Passover meal and sing Dayenu! It might not be by a Passover by the books, but it works for us and our common beliefs! As far as secular Hebrew/Jewish songs go, this album is very similar to the one I had growing up: ruclips.net/video/Pjn7qWAVbs8/видео.html It's a mix of English, Hebrew and Yiddish songs- there are some prayers in there, which you can skip if you or Dan don't feel comfortable sharing. Everything else is pretty harmless!
I come from a similar background - a Jewish mother, and a non Jewish father. My mother converted to Christianity when they decided to start having kids, and we were raised in Christian spaces - churches, private schools, etc. We celebrated Hanukkah each year (mostly at the insistence of my grandma) but didn’t experience any other Jewishness in childhood. My sibling and I have always felt sort of out of place in our Jewishness. We ARE jewish, but weren’t raised with nearly any of the culture or traditions. In adulthood my sibling took it upon themselves to learn about the faith, culture, and traditions and began to practice. As an athiest, I’ve never felt it would be appropriate for me to start now. All this to say, I strongly recommend and encourage you to raise your baby surrounded by as many Jewish celebrations and traditions as you want to pass on! It’s very strange to know that you’re Jewish, and to try to be proud of it, but to have none of the cultural knowledge or experience to share common ground with other jews.
There are so many great Jewish songs that are on the cultural side of things! I grew up listening to both Debbie Friedman and Rick Recht, and a lot of their songs have a more cultural bent to them over something that's overtly religious (definitely check out The Latke Song when it's Chanukkah season!). When I was a kid, I also loved this album called Kids Kosher Cuts, which tends to be a little sillier, as it's specifically for young kids. I think a lot of Jewish music directed at kids can be more secular because so much of that stage of Jewish life is just learning and understanding our culture.
Big love for Debbie Friedman and Rick Recht. Dan Nichols is also a great Jewish artist. All of them tend to have some songs that are prayers and others that are more secular. Grew up listening to all three and Dan Nichols even preformed at my camp!
My late grandfather was a Hindu. One of the things he always told us grandkids was that Hinduism was not a religion, it was a way of life. He very much believed in his Gods but that was almost an addition to the culture of it. It reminds me a lot of how you and others describe the culture and traditions of Judaism, so hopefully it helps to know others feel the same way!
I have a lot of feelings about this, I think Dan needs to evaluate why he finds celebrating Jewish holidays, even in a secular way is “weird” but he’s okay with just how much Christianity is a part of life and a child’s education in the UK. I’m not Christian (Catholic) anymore and I decided to just flat out ignore even the secular celebration of Christian festivals, it’s definitely possible to do. There’s no reason that you couldn’t raise your children to be aware but not celebrate any of them religiously - through the lens of “This is what we do, this is why, if you want to know more about the religious ritual side I can teach you or find someone who can (family member, friend, priest, rabbi etc)” it’s important to leave the decision up to your kids but don’t actively stop them from exploring.
I’m culturally Hindu, my fiancé is culturally Jewish! I am excited to share my future children’s heritage with them! Neither of us are per se religious, but for us it’s definitely about “where they come from” but also the food and presents are great :)
I'm honestly quite envious of how easily you're able to treat Judaism as a culture rather than a religion! I was raised more religious than you (synagogue every Saturday, definitely not allowed to opt out of a Bat Mitzvah), but not extremely religious (we didn't keep kosher, and if I had a reasonable conflict during synagogue like a volleyball game, I could go to the game instead). Therefore, in my mind, Judaism is TOO tied to religion for me to separate them even though it would make my life easier if I could! Since I consider myself agnostic, I have difficulty claiming I'm also Jewish. "Culturally Jewish" rings funny to me, even though I know plenty of cultural Jews. Still trying to work out where exactly I stand and how I'll raise my children. My inner conflict has definitely been exacerbated by parents who see Judaism as solely a religion.
my parents are the same makeup as you two (secular jewish mother, firmly ex-catholic father) and raised me very similarly; I ended up becoming the most religious person in my family! and while my dad certainly doesn't understand why I do all the jewish things I do, even the ones which I admit seem silly (you cannot convince me meat in its mothers milk wasn't g-ds first stoned thought but I still won't eat it), I think that we ultimately see eye to eye because he's been included in my mom's judaism, and has always wanted it to be a part of our lives and participates in holidays accordingly. I hope Dan finds joy similarly, and that the both of you can find a reform/masorti community that cherishes your family!
I've just stumbled across your RUclips channel. My biological father was Jewish. My Mum and raising Dad, here in the UK were Christian. I had absolutely no idea about my Jewish heritage until a DNA test revealed all when I was 54. I too am an atheist... and frankly I feel as if I am playing catch up with this new-to-me heritage. I'm lucky that my biological father's family has accepted me as part of their family and have and are doing their absolute best to introduce aspects of Jewish heritage to me; something that I'm incredibly grateful for. Because of my origins ("donor" conceived) I suddenly have Jewish friends too who are helping out with "Educating Jo".... tomorrow my husband and I are attending an end of Passover seder. My response to these events is usually floods of tears as I think about all of these new to me ancestors who took part in these events and which I've kind of missed out on till now. Rambling here... but I think too of any future grandchildren I might have. If their parents ( my children) are happy, I'd really like them to get to know something of this heritage that is theirs too. At the moment I have no idea how I'd start! Whilst you are Jewish by maternal descent and I am not, your attitude and explanations of how you plan to approach this with your own children resonate with me. Thanks!
Hannah 🥺 I didn't know you were Jewish! I am too :) 👋🏼 hello! ☺️ It's definitely a very unique experience you don't realize quite how unique as a kid until you talk to people who can't relate, like so many kinds of minority identities~ but I'm so happy you'll be including the culture and traditions in your household as you're raising your kid! My mom grew up under the iron curtain in the Soviet Union and her religion was repressed for so long. Being able to show her kids what she knew and learned in secret growing up, out in the open I think was so special and continuing that legacy to me is impactful. I agree we need to keep the traditions and stories alive! If I ever have kids I will definitely be doing that, there's no question. I think you're doing great by standing for this 👍🏼 stay true to what's important to you. ♥️
Why would Hannukah even be weird for Dan if you're already celebrating Christmas? It's so clearly the same kind of secular cultural thing in both cases!
I think it’s because we don’t say any prayers at Christmas but we do say prayers at Chanukah. There is a slightly different vibe especially if you haven’t grown up in that environment.
@@armerls I don't quite understand how not knowing what you are saying makes it less weird... especially for children. I can understand them not holding much weight but can something not as religous be said in Hebrew?
Also, you can just skip the blessings and focus on the chanukiyah (menorah), dreidel, latkes, donuts, songs, etc - that shouldn’t be weird to Dan at all. I think it’s a bit rich for him to decide Chanukah traditions are “too religious” yet Christmas traditions aren’t. 🤔
@@verybadminimalist8446 I agree with what you said aside from painting Dan in that light, I don't know him but I'd imagine some ways devout catholics celebrate Christmas might also be "too religious." I'm sure it'll be something they figure out together, what feels right and what feels a bit too uncomfortable. Knowing why things feel off is of course important for deciding if they needn't be passed on or if it is just a lack of exposure.
@@zebedeesummers4413 I'm almost certain that Dan would find most Christmas traditions that Christians do "too religious". As a British atheist myself Christmas is literally just an opportunity to spend time with my family and buy gifts and I'm definitely uncomfortable in churches and even people saying grace. I think it would become normal for him very quickly but I can understand the religious elements of a holiday might make him uncomfortable because it would be weird for me too!
Not having kids, but I have mixed heritage and wasn’t raised in a specific religion, although the concept of God and religion was very present. So, on my mom's side, my grandpa was Sephardi jew and grandma was catholic, though she wore the Protestant sign. And then my biological father is Muslim. I grew up watching my grandpa pray, and my grandma watching mass on tv on Sunday. I then started taking an interest in Islam because it is also a part of me, even though my father isn’t a part of my life. I really loved being able and even encouraged to learn about religion and taking part in celebrations from all cultures and not having to ‘make a choice’. I think being raised in the Jewish culture is a gift and I’m really happy to hear that you are thinking about passing that down to your child 😊
such an interesting video, thanks hannah! I relate to the not ‘jewish enough’ thing: I’m jewish but not religious, and was raised more christian than jewish just because of where we lived and went to school. I have memories of my mum always wearing a star of david (which she’s now given to me and I wear all the time) and celebrating Hanukkah. I’ve recently started trying to connect with my jewish side, especially as identity is a weird one for me being black as well, and i’m loving learning more and celebrating more of the holidays!
I come from a secular family that also sees Judaism more ethnically and culturally (mom is Jewish and European, her family is mixed, dad is Israeli Jewish.) We’re all atheist. We celebrate major Jewish and Christian holidays: Hanukkah, Passover, Jewish New Year and the classic Christmas, Easter, New Year… We used to do Shabbat as well, just lighting candles and making Challah. I personally absolutely love it and wouldn’t change it for the world! We don’t fast on holidays or eat kosher by any means, we also don’t see Christmas and Christian holidays as anything but our culture from the European country we live in. We sing songs in Hebrew on Jewish holidays (since dad is Israeli, me, my mom and brother all speak Hebrew), we don’t see it from a religious perspective at all. (Btw, Christmas is still my favorite holiday 🥰)
I can definitely understand where Dan is coming from. I was raised catholic (I would consider myself agnostic now) and I've recently started celebrating Hanukkah and Passover with my cousin's family and it's been so much fun to see that side of her culture. I think there's definitely a way to celebrate those holidays secularly because they've felt more closely linked to family than religion in my experience.
I found this weridly, surprisingly moving! I'm a "patrilenial Jew" and so have the same amount of heritage, but was also raised atheist. As an adult I'm enjoying re exploring my heritage, and trying to embrace the holidays in the same way most non-Christian Brits do Xmas/Easter ❤ I partly feel that because we have the ethnic heritage, and oppression that comes with it, getting back into the culture feels like reclaiming something that my ancestors had to be a bit shy about.
I just had a baby 5 weeks ago and identify as a secular Jew. My husband is not Jewish (but he's the one who reminds me to light the Hanukkah candles). All of this completely resonated for me! Right down to the Rugrats! I also feel like it's important for my child to know they're Jewish, what that means, and to be proud of their heritage :)
I'm from argentina, my granddad is Jewish and I'm not, because my mom isn't, but I grow up with all the celebrations, I actually feel Jewish, not for the religion per se, all the family of that side was killed in the holocaust, i want my kids to know the history and the connection they will have with that. This video was super interesting and I resonate so much with you in this, your kid is so lucky to have you and your partner ❤
As a secular Jewish person I love the way you put the connection with Judaism that isn't religious but is with the cultural traditions and heritage so much because this is the way I've always felt. It's extremely hard to explain, especially to people who aren't Jewish themselves but even to Jewish people around me, there's always that little fear of people seeing me as 'not Jewish enough', which now, as an adult, I don't care about but growing up it was quite a struggle. It took me many years to figure out a good way to say it and be confident in the way I view it, hearing someone say it out loud like that is something I feel like I've been missing for a long time. I hope to be able to pass that notion along if I have kids too one day.
If it helps look up “humanistic Judaism” it’s basically secular Judaism and what I was raised in. There are even humanistic Haggadahs and Hanukah prayers that explicitly don’t mention god.
This is such a great discussion topic. I was raised in a christian household but am atheist (as is my partner) and once we had a kid I was really examining holidays like christmas and easter and trying to have meaning without being religious (and also repressing that religious trauma that is heightened that time of year) was challenging. What we did as a family is start celebrating Yule instead of Christmas. We still have gifts and participate i the holiday season but it is far more meaningful to us and kinder to my trauma brain to celebrate the winter and I'm still able to give my kiddo a magical holiday. We've created such beautiful traditions for our own family and I enjoy holidays for the first time EVER!
You have echoed so many of my own experiences! I am atheist, but I have wondered if I would feel differently about Judaism if I knew Hebrew and understood the words in the songs. Really I focus on the expressions of gratitude for survival and the recognition that had my ancestors not survived, then I would not be here. (True no matter who we are, actually.) But yes, non-Jews seldom understand the distinction between heritage and religion, and how I care very much about the former but not the latter. I will never forget. Beshaah tovah, Hannah & Dan! May your birth be well!
Loves this! Your thoughts and feelings totally make sense. My husband and I are actively a part of the same religious group, but even we have conversations about our future children and how, while we do want to raise them in this religious group, that we don’t want it to look the same way as it did for us growing up. So, even as religious people, it’s still always an ongoing conversation about how we want to be intentional about how we raise our kids with religion in the future!
Hi Hannah, fantastic video! I have a close friend who grew up in the chassidic community in Stanford Hill (he’s ex Charadi but still has a fondness for the culture), it would be so great to see a sit-down video of you both discussing your experiences growing up Jewish and your relationship with it going forwards to show the diversity of Jewish up-bringings and the different relationships people have with it.
Love this video! This is such a nice topic to hear about. As someone who isn’t Jewish it’s lovely to hear you talk about what it has meant for you and what you would like it to mean for your baby. It’s clear that they’re gonna have such a joyful home life ❤️
It's really cool of you to share this :) I'm jewish too! My parents are religious and I'm not, so I totally feel you about the culture/secular aspect. I think it's really cool to represent as a secular jew! the more variety the better! Everyone is different and wants and believes different things!
I feel so seen when talking about secular holidays. I’m atheist, but I love celebrating Christmas and Easter because of getting together with family, the food and enjoying time with loved ones. That’s what the holidays are all about to me.
I have the same cultural experience as you ! it was a pleasure to hear you speak more about that ! my jewish grandmother passed away and although i'm an atheist like you, it's still really important to me to keep celebrating jewish holidays and doing the rituals 💛
Thank you so much Hannah for your explanation of how you feel about your Judaism, this has been so so validating for me. My mum is Jewish but my siblings and I weren't raised very strict; we celebrated all the holidays and knew the stories behind them, but we never went to temple and I never learned Hebrew. I also was never Bat Mitzvahed and I've gotten a lot of crap about it from other Jewish people that it makes me less Jewish. Your way of viewing your Judaism as more of a cultural link than a religious one makes so much sense to me and it's like my feelings toward my Judaism just clicked with this video. I am 100% going to be explaining it this way to people in the future! I hope you are having a good Passover and eating lots of matzo ball soup
This was so interesting. I was brought up Catholic and although I’m not practicing I still get a lot of comfort from Catholic rituals and culture. I love going into a random church to light a candle and say an intention even if I don’t really believe that it will actually be answered or giving a quick thanks to the patron saint of whatever situation I’m ( there truly is one for everything!) My partner, on the other hand, is like Dan and finds anything to do with religion deeply uncomfortable so it will definitely be a discussion to have if we were to have children.
Shabbos fairy? That is definitely creative. You have warm feelings about being Jewish because your mom did fun Jewish stuff with you when you were little. Your child will have warm feelings about being Jewish IF you also give him/her a lot of Jewish content like your mom did (and probably her parents also did). That's how it goes, that's how the tradition gets transmitted.
I resonated with SO much of this video! I am also a Jewish atheist, and grateful that I don't remember enough Hebrew from my bat mitzvah to know what any songs or prayers mean. My spouse (raised evangelical Christian, now atheist) and I aren't having kids, but he celebrates all the Jewish festivals with me, including lighting candles usually just the two of us most nights of Hanukkah. Being culturally Jewish is very important to me, and I think it's become even more so since my dad, who was my only Jewish parent, passed away. Celebrating Jewish festivals is a wonderful way to stay connected with my family and family history for me. Oh, and not a song recommendation, but as a kid I adored listening to Joel ben Izzy's Jewish stories on literal cassette tape. I remember them being more culturally than religiously Jewish and they could be fun to check out for your kids in a few years.
It’s so hard to explain to my partners that I’m not religiously Jewish and how I want to share my CULTURE vs teaching about God. But like, I want my kids to learn about Hannukah and Passover and Purim. It was so much fun for me! I want my kids to have that too
I think it's really empowering to have a fluency with cultural traditions - and in the case of Judaism those traditions are derived from a religion but can be adapted in so many ways. From the perspective of one religious Jewish person - even when I find religious meaning in holidays it's honestly the family experiences that I care about much more. Also, I have especially strong memories of early childhood Jewish experiences in terms of listening to music - I think it's a great way to include Jewish culture in non religious ways
That was very insightful! Like Dan, I usually view being jewish as the practice of religion and not so much the cultural aspect of it. Thanks for sharing this!
I grew up in an irish family going to a catholic school etc etc, my family is pretty much religiously agnostic but I would always describe myself as culturally catholic (maybe it's tied to my Irish heritage in some way who knows). We follow some catholic bits and bobs, but in ways that feels right to us, we don't follow lent but do Easter weekend ya know. I also have Jewish and Hindu cousins so we sort of share each others cultural bits and bobs connected to our religions and it feels really nice to share that.
I am Jewish, and I loved hearing your thoughts on this! I celebrate the holidays the exact way you described. I do the Seders, light the Hanukkiah, eat apples and honey, but I'm agnostic and also do them for the cultural reasons rather than religious. I do not think I want kids, but I similarly feel it is important to celebrate the holidays myself because I feel that obligation to keep the religious and culture alive, even if it is just for me. I also completely agree about how it's great to not understand Hebrew - I love singing the Passover and Hanukkah songs because they just sound pretty and idk what they mean! Really enjoyed hearing someone else's perspective on all of this, I have very few Jewish friends and I often feel isolated in my traditions, so it is nice to hear someone else have similar feelings!
I think this is lovely. I'm an atheist and I still practice Christmas because it's my favorite holiday and I absolutely love the tradition of getting presents for all of my loved ones and spending a day eating good food and just being happy together. I think it's awesome that we're living in a time where we can carve out our own way of doing things, and have it mean whatever we want it to mean for us. No religion needed ❤️
Hi Hannah! Soooo many great comments in here! As someone who grew up kind of bouncing around various degrees of cultural and religious Jewish life, I relate to a lot of other people in the comments about not really knowing where they feel they stand with being Jewish. For me, I do now keep a lot of religious law like kashrut and shabbat, but I do it because it makes me feel like it's helping me be more grounded in myself and my day so that I can be my best self and it also happens to honor my ancestors and my culture, not because of god. In this, I think that one of the most important parts of being a Jew is striving to be a better person today than you were yesterday. As a parent, an excellent way to teach about this is by teaching things like Mitzvot, Tzedakah, Tikkun Olam, etc. These are all things that teach about Jewish values, but aren't really about religiousity. Remember that there is no one way to be a Jew, every Jew is the right way to be a Jew 💜 Also, I highly recommend niggunim as secular jewish music!! Niggunim (wordless songs, yi di di's) are personally my favorite Jewish songs, and they aren't religious at all (:
This is interesting to hear. I'm Jewish and atheist too. However I was raised outside a Jewish community (there just wasn't one where we lived). So it's cool to hear your similar but also slightly different experience/thoughts on this. I have a close family member who survived the Holocaust so for me, maintaining a Jewish identity is a lot about respect and remembrance.
I have a very similar situation being half Polish with a very Catholic family, but being atheist myself! I'm no where near having children myself yet but I would definitely want to do a Polish Christmas and Easter, food and music especially, with any future family I might have, but I'll just leave out the Bible readings and strict Lenten fasting 😅 I'm sure that people across all religions and faiths have similar experiences, but you just have to make them your own!
I think there's definitely a lack of awareness of the "culturally Christian" way that a lot of western society works (I'm in Canada, but UK also). Our public holidays are often around Christian holidays, celebrating Christmas etc is the default, weekends fall in a convenient way for church-going, etc. The thing about having the songs & prayers in a language you don't understand is interesting. I grew up going to church (Anglican) and as I got into my teens, I realized I was atheist. But I kept going to church for a long time after that realization because I loved the community of my church, i sang in the choir, etc. But once I was in my early 20s, I was doing that "adult"-ish thing of really examining my life as I wanted it to be. And I really was finding that as much as I loved the community, etc., I felt like I was lying to myself every week saying the prayers, etc. So I stopped going to church regularly. For a few years, I'd still go at Christmas or other special occasions. But even that's faded away over the last 10-15 years. One strange thing that's come up in a few contexts is actively not using the phrase "bless you" when someone sneezes. I've settled on "gesundheit" instead, and others in my life have also independently done the same. My sister really actively does it around her kids (and encourages the rest of our family to do the same). It's just one of those things that as we started to examine it, saying "bless you" felt very odd... I'm not like offended by it if someone else says it, but I choose not to say it anymore.
Thank you for discussing this topic, Hannah! As an Atheist Jewish person myself I can definitely relate. As a Hebrew speaker, I have a hard time with the traditional sayings and songs of Jewish holidays. I would try to search for modern Hebrew holiday songs which I think would be more secular. With regards to Christmas holiday traditions being less god-centered - I think that is how many of the Christian holidays are because most traditions have pagan origins. Personally, I still see them as religious, and that may be due to not growing up with them in my home. All this is to say that holiday celebrations are personal and both Jewish and Christian holidays can be celebrated in a secular way in my opinion. As an adult I just have traditional-inspired holiday meals and that's where I draw the line :)
i totally agree with this!! being jewish is basically just a cultural identity for me at this point and i love the idea of raising children with your culture and not necessarily religion. i know it's not technically secular but as a kid we always did Paul Zim's passover songs which makes passover more of like a singing little dinner party rather than a religious thing. this year we did a queer/pro palestine haggadah and it was so fun. can't wait to hear more about your experience once baby is born :')
I love how intelligent and creative the Jewish community are. The amazing cuisine, the amazing sense of humour, love and kindness to people. I found the joke funny about Facebook being dead after the rebranded name, because they may have predicted that Facebook may not exist forever. Back story about the joke: the new name of Facebook was misinterpreted by the Jewish community, because Meta, the new name for Facebook means dead in Hebrew but it means interconnectivity in Latin, hence why the Facebook name change was misinterpreted and who knows if Facebook does die off?
Rugrats Hanukkah is classic! We're Christian and raising our daughter to be, but in a different way than how we grew up. We haven't quite figured it out yet honestly, but I'm hopeful that things will come together.
This video couldn't come in a better time for me. This week is the Holy week of Easter for orthodox christians. I was raised as a christian and this year I'm abroad so I can't celebrate easter with my family like always. I miss the celebrations but I'm not that religious so that was very confusing for me, until you mentioned in this video that you like the cultural side of being jewish. That resonated with me. Thank you!
So I'm Polish and my partner is English and ever since we got together he really encouraged me to explore my culture and enjoy it. When I was a teenager I really separated myself from everything Polish as my abusive mother made Polish culture and the country itself look like a bad thing. I've been really enjoying bringing the food, history and culture back into my life in England. I can't wait to raise my kids as Polish-English. I really want them to get the best of both worlds, whilst educating them enough to be able to enjoy their Polishness and Poland themselves. Much love :)
This is so interesting!!! Thanks for sharing, yeah I’m a Christian viewer here and it’s been a huge conversation for my husband and I thinking forward to kids about what that would look like for us in the home. Also largely hinges on our local church family which basically is equivalent to blood family for us! I’m the opposite to you though growing up in a relationship with God, knowing all the Jewish stories etc but missing out getting to enact the celebrations in a real way etc! We did our own version of Passover with a lamb tagine this year(!), a pile of friends around a few tables squeezed into our living room and everyone sharing what Easter meant to them this year after dinner. I feel like I’m borrowing from Judaism but appreciate the symbolism and the deep chat!! As a Christian I have so much respect for Jewish people and am so thankful for so much of Jewish culture that meant we have so much scripture preserved etc! One question to anyone who might know - is there a preferred way of speaking either ‘Jew’ or ‘Jewish person’? Cheers!
Thank you for asking about if it's more respectful to refer to someone a "Jew" or "Jewish person". Speaking from my own experience, it's more comfortable to be referred to as "Jewish" (note: not *a* Jewish, just Jewish) if it's a non-Jewish person talking. I have been called a "Jew" in a derogatory way before and that makes it uncomfortable to be referred to that way now, even if I know the person who's speaking isn't antisemitic. That being said, it's normal for Jewish people to refer to themselves and each other as Jews.
@@bookshelf829 Thanks!! This is a really kind and helpful reply - also helpful to understand that it may be different in how you speak about yourself if you are Jewish!? A key nuance. Much appreciated :) Cheers!! Have a great day!
HIGHLY recommend reading Sasha Sagan’s “For Small Creatures Such As We.” It’s a fabulous look at different religions/cultures around the world, and Sagan explains how she grapples with being Jewish based on culture/heritage but agnostic in terms of belief.
I’m a young Jewish woman who was raised by artsy liberal parents. My Dad’s side of the family is Christian and my grandma is slightly religious but my dad is really not. My mom is Jewish and was raised such but not in a super spiritual way, more like she grew up in a Jewish neighborhood and everyone did things a certain way. From my perspective it’s been really important to me to know about my Jewishness and relish in it even if I don’t understand everything. I love singing all the songs and the community aspect of many traditions. And food! My Dad has taken a liking to many of the holidays because of those reasons as well, even though he’s not Jewish himself. I support your desire to raise your baby Jewish and I think you’ll have a lot of fun with it after you figure it out!! One last thing: holidays can be celebrated non-religiously like you said, although for me it’s been important to recognize the meaning behind the holidays even if I don’t celebrate them religiously, if you get what I mean. Good luck!! ✡️
I'm not sure if this would help Dan understand things better, but it's important to note that some Jewish holidays are more historical than religious. Chanukah and Purim are really about historical events in which Jews were oppressed and could've been killed but then miraculously weren't. I can't think of any historical holidays in the UK (I'm American), but maybe you can explain it that way so that he won't feel uncomfortable and won't think that it's about God. It's a bummer that he feels weird about it because the traditions can be so fun and meaningful. Also, it's possible to look at stories in the Torah and Jewish holidays as non-literal and try to take lessons from them and enjoy them without worrying about religious aspects.
Thank you so much for making this video! It triggered me to really think about all the Christian traditions I parttake in because I was raised by Christians, even though I have identified as atheist for the vast majority of my life. I had no choice in whether or not I wanted to do my communion and I literally had no idea what was going on at the time, because I only went to church maybe once or twice a year. I later discovered that we were only made to do it so that my grandparents would be happy.
Hannah, I really wonder if you have looked into liberal Jewish communities? I feel like the level of secular Jewish practice and culture you describe would fit well, and would allow you to give your child(ren) a taste of a community - they can later decide if they want to continue to be part of that!
As someone who grew up in the US I feel like the UK should adopt the "Jewish, emphasis on the ish" idea that's really common and seems to best sum up how "Jewish" as an culture/ethnicity
Such a great video! I'm a practicing Christian (meaning I regularly attend a church, take communion and study/discuss the bible in a small group with other members of my church this is my definition just FYI). I've noticed that as I get older, although I'm excited to celebrate Christmas/Easter I don't find myself holding a lot of meaning over the things that are customary to that festival ie: Easter eggs, Christmas presents etc. For me it's about remembering why I celebrate them and do these things still hold truth for me X
I absolutely agree with all the comments that are saying you can celebrate any religion's holidays secularly, but my husband and I are still having these conversations about the traditionally christian holidays that we celebrate secularly AND how to talk about the ones that we don't celebrate but our family does. We don't celebrate Easter, but my in-laws do. So in that case, we want to share the parts of that celebration we would normally participate in (family dinner, Easter egg hunts) and use it as a learning moment about the parts we don't celebrate (Sunday service, etc). Basically like "this is our version of Easter, but for grandma it means these other things too and if you want to do those things with grandma that's cool". Same with Christmas, we don't do a lot of the religious traditions (star on the tree, Christian songs) but we'll talk about those as options for that holiday. We've been talking about getting involved in some other cultural-but-not-religious holidays, but we live in a very small place so there isn't a ton of opportunity there. But there are some indigenous celebrations that invite the public we've talked about doing, that's something I did with my mom a lot when I was little. Anyway, I agree y'all can celebrate Jewish celebrations secularly just like a large portion of us celebrate Christian holidays secularly.
Great video, thank you for sharing. I completely relate to your experience and upbringing and totally agree with your plans. I just spent Seder with my baby cousin who is being taught about his heritage but not raised religiously. It's super nice to do our cultural family traditions in such a proud way for baby to learn.
Hi Hannah! I just wanted to share that as someone who also grew up celebrating being Jewish pretty exclusively culturally and ethnically, my mom signed us up for PJ Library which sends free Jewish books and music monthly! Some of it was really neat and some of it was super goofy, but it was a lot of fun as a kid to get something for us in the mail every month, and I remember as something that taught me a lot and made my Jewish-ness feel extra special. Song-wise, there are SO MANY silly Jewish kids' songs! My favorite CD we received from PJ library was an album called Let's Go Coconuts! by the Macaroons, which is honestly just ridiculous but very fun. Another awesome one that's not about religion at all is called Oy Mayn Keppele by Cindy Paley that my very old, very Jewish great-great-aunt used to sing to us. It's very kvetch-ey and funny! Last, I also started listening to the Barry Sisters because their song Tumbalalaika started playing while I was watching the Marvelous Mrs Maisel, which I also used to hear as a kid from aforementioned great-great-aunt! Anyway, there are absolutely so many options for non religious fun Jewish songs :) And congratulations on your baby!!
I know my soon to be mother in law has said marriage is easy, buying a house is easy. Having kids and figuring out how each of you parent your kids and whether that works together is hard.
This is something I bring up almost every year with my friends an family. I hate that it expected that everyone celebrates Christmas but when I invite some of my friends for Eid celebrations, I hear that it's "too" religious. Most of the time they're just invited for lunch or dinner (no prayers or rituals involved) but because it is a religious holiday they have a huge problem with being around people of the respective religion. It's as if they believe one meal will convert them to Islam and it's really frustrating. Ironically, when I decline Christmas invitations (I rather be with my family), the same people feel greatly offended.
I find this so interesting as someone who was raised CofE Christian and now identifies as atheist and identifying that difference between ritual and nostalgic tradition. My partner was raised very atheist and recently commented on a cross necklace I was wearing (that I'd inherit) as making him uncomfortable. I'd want my children to experience things like christingle or taking part in a nativity show even though I don't believe in the message it was a happy experience for me. It was lovely to hear your perspective on this Hannah 😁
My mom is culturally/ethnically Jewish and my dad is atheist and we grew up culturally celebrating both! It was very clear to me always that we just celebrate the Jewish holidays in the same way lots of non-christians celebrate Christmas and Easter. I grew up with a few close family friends in the same boat. If it is helpful for Dan to hear - this may be more common than expected!
Hanukkah is already a relatively non-religious Jewish Holiday, Purim is basically a panto and I think everyone is happy to eating Challah on a saturday morning. So I think just showing Dan and your future kid that these are more just fun holidays to spend together and eat and drink then I think he will come around :))
I’m an atheist (raised catholic) and my bf comes from a culturally semi(?) Jewish family, I’m realising this may be a bigger conversation than I thought if/when we have kids of our own. Thank you for sharing!
my dad is russian orthodox and my mum is catholic and they are both moderately regious. they made the decision to let us choose our own religion so my little brother and i are atheist and dont feel the weight of having to leave a religious community and stuff. my older brother decided to become russian orthodox when he was 19. i personally love that they gave us the chance to decide as opposed to your parents doing it for you when youre a baby.
As a non religious jew living in Israel, I can say you can definitely celebrate most jewish holidays secularly - most of us do just that. I guess it’s similar to the secular culture in more christian countries like England. I can also say that some of the prayers are actually worth knowing the meaning of, they’re quite beautiful, like the one reminding us to be grateful for living at this day and time after all our people have been through.
Thank you for bringing attention to this. I'm Jewish, and you managed to explain a lot of the things that I completely expected to hear in this discussion.
This video made my day :) I grew up in a jewish household but with a mixed fam, and I think the way we celebrated holidays was very cultural, and about family and the stories of the holiday, and the religious stuff I learned through going to temple and Hebrew school, although that also fizzled out as I went into my later teen years. I think the perspective of letting your child come to their own conclusions about religion is great, as that’s how I was raised, and I ended up with arguably stronger ties to both religion and culture than my parents, and my sibling pretty much just comes to holidays for the food and to see family, and we both got to get to these conclusions on our own, without any expectations. I don’t think doing Hanukkah or other holidays secularly is weird at all, and as a kid my parents would often encourage me and my sib to bring our non Jewish friends to share our culture (and food). As for secular Jewish holiday songs, my mind goes to Adam Sandlers Hanukkah song, and Maccabeats parodies that usually refer more to acts of the holiday than individual prayers. Debbie Friedman also sang some “let’s all sing together” type tunes, though many are still derivative of Hebrew prayers.
This was super interesting because I never thought about this from a Jewish perspective. You explained this in a way that really resonates because I feel the same way about Christianity. I'm also atheist but we celebrate Christian holidays in a very secular way. Just never thought about Judaism in the same context.
My child is an ethic Muslim. I am not raising him in any religion, but when my kiddo gets old enough to decide if they want to be religious I will support them wholeheartedly. And likewise if they do not. I’m leaving it up to them to decide. But I totally get you on being a participant in your ethnic culture, hopefully my kiddo will get this experience as well.
There are a lot of secular holiday songs! There are Purim's songs about costumes (e.g. שיר המסיכות) and festivities (תן כתף), Hanukkah songs about the hanukkiah candles (חנוכיה לי יש) and dreidel (סביבון סוב סוב סוב), Rosh Hashana songs about starting anew (בראש השנה) and so on (שנה טובה, בשנה הבאה). Also a lovely song about the months cycle in the Jewish calendar: בתשרי נתן הדקל (שנים עשר ירחים) I recommend giving them a listen, and pass it on to the young one in the appropriate times of the year :)
Thank you for your thoughts Hannah! I'm also Jewish on my mom's side and secular Christian on my dad's side (in your video on your DNA test, we came out almost identical in percentages!), and I grew up celebrating both Jewish holidays like Hanukkah and Passover, as well as Christmas. I have more family and closer family ties on my dad's side, so I've always felt a bit weird claiming my Jewish identity while celebrating Christmas with them. But my husband is Jewish, and I feel that pull much more now from his family. When I have kids I would want them to feel proud and comfortable in their Jewish identity, while not feeling weird celebrating (secular) Christmas with my dad's side!
I am down with everything you said. It is not about the practice of the religion but, more about having pride in where you come from. My wife and I (Both Jewish) just our first baby and we are just planning to mold our faith in a way that we enjoy rather than have it be burdensome. I came from a more religious home that my wife but, we found a middle ground so we can both enjoy keeping a Jewish home.
Fun fact lots of Christmas songs were written by Jewish ppl. There’s a Chanukah song I think the English version is called who can retell. The Passover song who knows one is also kinda fun. I think it’s amazing that your passing on knowledge and fun traditions! I noticed you said ashkenazi, I’m not sure if you know this but there is quite a few genetic diseases associated with ppl who descend from those “lines”/areas (idk what to call), it can be useful/important info too, for you and your children to know if you carry anything, while carrying doesn’t affect you if 2 ppl who carry have kids there’s a chance for an affected child.
Eyyy I remember asking you about this in the Discord and you having no idea yet, lots of fun to see that I may have, even indirectly, contributed to this video :D
My husband is humanist and I’m Christian. I take my kids to church and we talk about Jesus/God. I always wanted to raise my kids to know and understand my faith and to know the stories (understanding Christianity and bible stories helps a lot with studying the arts at university and beyond). I hope they will believe what I do, but I am very open to giving them the choice. We have some lovely kids story books about Christianity. At school my kids learn about other religions (we have a large local Muslim population which helps there) and I’m hoping to find some story books about other religions. I loved the Hindu stories especially when I was small. I’m very jealous of you celebrating Purim as a kid though - it’s such a great story and sounds like a really fun festival.
My grandmother is from Manchester and had a great Jewish life there, when my grandfather escaped the Holocaust and got to England, they met, and decided to make Aaliyah together, and she's never been back. But, she's always said that Manchester was a great place to be Jewish.
I really appreciate you taking the time to explain this pov, it's really rare to see it and I'm totally identifying with what you're saying and I feel like it's not represented all that often. As far as songs go, you have: נר לי נר לי אנו נושאים לפידים באנו חושך לגרש סביבון סביבון סביבון סוב סוב רבי קלמן And there are plenty others, most Hanukkah's are not religious
I think if Dan can celebrate Christmas secularly he should be able to celebrate Chanukah secularly. It’s hard for someone to realize how much the dominant culture in the UK is influenced by Christianity unless you aren’t Christian- but if you start looking at all the things that are actually tied to Christianity (stolen from paganism) that atheists do (Easter bunnies and chocolate, Christmas crackers, Christmas trees) you realize that just because a group has rituals and traditions that aren’t mainstream (due to historical oppression and pograms) doesn’t mean they can’t also be celebrated secularly. It’s just that they aren’t the dominate culture that makes them feel “religious”.
I don't know about you, but I at least have, in my mind, two very different categories of things that are religious for holidays like easter or christmas and things that are secular. Like, santa, stockings, and presents are secular. Advent wreaths, the creche, and a lot of songs are religious. The easter bunny and egg hunts are secular. Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and giving things up for lent are religious.
I imagine there's some discretion there as to what people consider religious or not (like while advent wreaths seem very religious to me, advent calendars don't) but there's a separation in my mind. Is there a similar separation with Jewish traditions? I think that's where I would find hangups.
@@BVoshol I think even some of the more religious stuff can be enjoyed in a secular way too, though. Like, I'm an atheist myself and Sweet Little Jesus Boy from the Andy Williams Christmas collection is one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time, I just think it sounds beautiful, even though the lyrics don't really mean anything to me. Short of actually attending church, I think anything can be done in a secular way, it just depends on the person.
@@BVoshol That's because Christianity is the dominant cultural paradigm (and state religion in the UK). If the religion's traditions are everywhere and permeate every aspect of your life (movies, music, specials in the coffee shop, the timing of school and bank holidays) then of course you start to view them as secular because they have enough opportunity to be interpreted that way. If a religion and people's traditions have been the subject of pograms, genocide, and they are a minority in their country, of course ANY tradition will be viewed as "religious" because it isn't the dominant culture. Christmas isn't a national holiday in Islamic countries, and taking Christmas off just because because you were raised in the UK would be seen as "religious practice" in Saudi Arabia or Iran even if you just sat at home and wore silly paper hats.
Also, much of cultural Judaism is mostly a home-based practice about family, history, and food, the religious aspect can be left aside most of the time and is by a lot of people who consider themselves culturally Jewish (i.e. secular shabbat is just turning off your phones and having a weekly family dinner). Passover is about telling the stories of the Jewish people through food. Hannakah is mostly about lighting candles and making lots and lots of greasy food. If a christian-raised atheist is okay with the song Silent Night, perhaps they shouldn't be offended by lighting some candles.
Another thing that people (Christians) stole from pagans is blowing out a birthday candle. If you’ve ever done that, congrats you did candle magic. You’re a witch.
I'll also note that I am not one of the people who believes Christmas is secular because I've been raised non-Christian in a Christian dominant culture. But if you view Christmas is secular, you can make the same argument for Hannakah. I get plenty of Christian propaganda, assumptions, and traditions in every aspect of my life just by living in America, even in a secular government school.
Absolutely no shade to Dan here, this is a really common thing among atheists and something I grappled with myself for a while, but he is very clearly a “cultural Christian” who, while not practicing or religious, observes Christian holidays and doesn’t see them as religious. There is literally nothing different about how he observes Christmas and Easter than how you observe Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah. It seems unfair to assume that just because your traditions aren’t the ones he grew up with, they are inherently religious or insidious in some way. It might be really interesting to have a chat about all the elements of the holidays you DO celebrate together that invoke the Christian God and Christ (the star on the Christmas tree, LOTS of Christmas music, gift giving at Christmas, Easter as a celebration of rebirth with eggs, etc) and start to unpack how you view the traditions of Judaism as just as secular and cultural as he views those traditions. Just because Christianity is the “dominant” culture in your community doesn’t mean it’s not inherently religious or more important!
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
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I think it’s really interesting, I’m an atheist but I celebrate christian holidays in a secular way just cause that’s the culture I was brought up around. I think you can totally celebrate “religious” holidays secularly. I imagine it’s especially important for Jewish kids given the oppression and history to be able to have celebrations that they can relate to and feel proud of.
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I’m honestly a bit taken aback by Dan’s reaction. I’d not only feel honoured if someone (especially someone I love) wanted to shared their culture with me, but thrilled too to add meaning and flavour to our family traditions. This is such a beautiful opportunity to have such a unique and precious family experience, built from traditions from both of your childhoods. I know my outsider view is missing a lot of the story, but it feels like there’s a layer of respect missing here. I really hope he reconsiders! Sending love, you two will be wonderful parents. I can’t remember when you’re due, all the best with the birth and new baby!!! 💞✨
right!! I feel the same
i completely agree !
I’ve had Sikh, Muslim and Jewish friends who celebrated Christmas enthusiastically as a cultural holiday .
I grew up in a family where we’d all go out to a bar with our muslim, Hindu, Jewish and atheist friends on Christmas Eve and it was like the setup for a punchline. 😂
I live in a city where Diwali is a huge thing. A lot of people are involved in the celebrations in a non-religious way
Growing up in South London you would literally know which houses were owned by Skih families as they had the most incredible lights every Christmas. It was a massive thing growing up that you would be invited to Christmas parties by most of the Sikh children in the class, it was awesome.
When I was maybe 20, I had breakfast at a diner with my Reform rabbi. I wanted to get his input on the whole God thing. And he told me something like, "I think believing in God is down around number 5 on the list of what it means to be Jewish. Don't worry about it." Culture, respect for education, valuing the question and discussion as much as the answer, mitzvot... Then he quoted Ben-Gurion: "A Jew is anyone who says he is." If you're willing to take that on, go for it. God isn't the most important part. And your kid will decide for themself eventually.
"respect for education, valuing the question and discussion as much as the answer" So is this the reason why so many successful scientists are Jews? 🤔
💯💯
This rabbi is expressing what he thinks Judaism is, which is the viewpoint of most reform people.
It is not accurate to Judaism, instead it is a watered down version, which is basically to do what you want.
I suspect that for many Jewish males who were raised in majority Christian cultures, having no foreskin and voting on the Left are what is most important about being Jewish.
I think one of the coolest parts of Judaism is the focus on leaving the world a better place: “Tikkun Olam” rather a focus on the afterlife. I think that’s a really beautiful tradition to share and can tie into really being aware of your impact on the world and how you can help. Also festivals like Tu B’shvat which is quite secular and is about planting trees and loving the planet is a great way to introduce environmentalism!
I love Tu B'Shvat! Truly underrated Jewish holiday 🌳
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I got married on to Tu B'Shavat :D I love this holiday
I think Christian-raised atheists are just more comfortable with their holidays as secular experiences, and the reason Jewish holidays like Hanukkah seem “more” religious is just because they’re more foreign. Honestly, it makes me really sad that he’d be uncomfortable with you lighting candles for your child. Especially since it’s a holiday that’s so much less religious than, say, Passover. I think he might need to unpack why a little further. Personally, as another atheist Jew, I will never celebrate Christmas. It’s been shoved down my throat here in the US in a really traumatic way, and it’s important to me that my kids don’t ever experience that at home
@Alyson I feel like you get enough Christmas if you are in a Christian dominant country- in school, in songs, at work, etc. Let kids get some experiences!
@@icarusgotooclose definitely! there’s so much context we don’t have, and I wasn’t intending to call him a hypocrite! I just think his comfort level might be more defined by the dominance of Christianity in the UK than he realizes, and it might be cause for a further conversation between them. I personally don’t see how lighting candles on a menorah is any less secular than plugging in string lights on a tree. Hanukkah isn’t even a particularly religious holiday for us- Passover and our new year are way more about god than Hanukkah is. I think most people could benefit from examining how their exposure to the mainstream impacts their view- that’s all I mean to say here.
@@anomalily exactly how I feel, actually. They’ll experience it basically nonstop outside of my home, so I don’t feel the need (or desire) to learn and then demonstrate traditions that aren’t mine for them. I would never want them to avoid someone else’s Christmas tree or not but the candy they want to buy, etc, but I think they’ll have the Christmas experience without my help, and I’d like to help them experience our culture instead
@@icarusgotooclose Definitely agree with all of your points! I wouldn't want anyone to attack Dan online when we don't know him or his intentions -- that's super unfair. I think many of the comments (or at least, mine) come from my own experiences and frustrations as an atheist Jew who has felt like my partners and friends are less willing to meet me where I am in terms of what's important for my culture because it's foreign to them. For example, the name "christ" is literally in Christmas, but most atheists from Christian homes/countries don't think that keeps it from being "secular." To me, saying the word "god" in a language neither of you understand while lighting some candles is equally (or even more-so) non-religious. And to me, the failure to see it that way comes from not exploring our own biases/indoctrinations. I'm sure myself and others are unconsciously projecting our own marginalization onto how we viewed this video, which is totally not fair and something that needs to be reigned in and examined. This topic is so complicated and difficult, and I really appreciate your perspective -- that's for commenting and forcing me to examine my viewpoint more deeply!
@@icarusgotoocloseit makes sense that these conversations are so different for different people and in different relationships. As you said, the nuance and context are key! I’m glad you two have been able to think so deeply about this. The wedding thing in particular resonates with me, since Christian wedding traditions are so new to me (and surprised me!). I could see how he might feel. I think there’s another layer with Judaism which is the history of oppression and how many of us feel it’s important to pass these traditions down that were almost wiped out. For me, I guess I expect atheists to compromise a little more with minority religious traditions than they might feel comfortable doing for Christianity (in Christian-dominated countries I mean, I’m sure this is different elsewhere), since we “need” it differently. But that’s a whole other can of worms that’s super tricky to navigate 🥵
As a cultural Jew myself, I view the Hanukkah prayers as a connection to my ancestors. I like knowing that we are united throughout time, gathering to do and say the same thing. It's a way of honoring their religion, and all they went through to practice it and exist in a world that tried to stop them.
If Dan can have a Christmas tree and Easter eggs you should celebrate your culture and holidays!!
Fellow Jew here, being Jewish is “an exception to rule” type of religion. Because it’s absolutely a religious/culture/ethnicity/lifestyle. If you want to express your Jewishness from a non religious standpoint that’s totally fine. Dan needs to understand that these traditions are important because we lost so many Jews through history and it’s not nice for anyones family traditions to fade out. I know non religious Jewish families that always treated Shabbat as basically just a family dinner, a time specific for family❤❤❤
i absolutely love your explanation with your connection to judaism as i am the exact same way. i think a lot of us are. the one thing i felt i might struggle with in the future was the guilt of not wanting to raise my child under the jewish religion since i'm agnostic. but my child is definitely going to be culturally jewish (we love latkes in this house) & i realize now that that's not a bad thing at all.
Such a weird coincidence! I love both of your channels. I appreciate your thoughts.
Why, is there anti colonial Yidds white semitism ?...... Because there was first and still is anti-Black semitism : reference Britain's 1747 map i.e. British mapping of the Kingdom of Judah in 1747 of West Africa, depicting the enslavement of the Jews i.e. the so called negros .(Note- Ukriane is the homeland of colonial european wite caucasian skin Yidds. Russia's Landmark civil war is destroying their Homeland of the Russian European colonial white Caucasian Ashkenazi Yidds in Ukraine. Luke 20:25 “And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's ) Second - the colonial white yidd rejection of the USA- Human Genome Project) which indicates the direct descendants of Shem Ham Japheth of only Blacks i.e.the parental triad Fathers and Mothers with the oldest mtDNA on earth, furthermore indicating that none are colonial white skin european caucasian Yidds..Thrid - the colonial Yidd's rejection of Moses's God given Fifth Commandment “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).The Bible indicates white european caucasian skin is biblical leprosy in 2Kings 5:27. ( by the discovery of an mutated auto immune diseased gene responsible for the production of white european caucasian skin) that white european caucasian skin is indeed a disease . Is having a disease a good thing or an evil thing? Having colonial european white Yiddish skin is not Kosher, is indeed unclean i.e. curse .The root word of the word human is humus which means dark brown or black decayed organic material dirt, soil, dust of the earth essential for retaining of water and the fertilization of the earth.The first KKK meeting was December 24,1865 Pulaski Tennessee in the Law office of Judge, jewish born, Thomas McKissack Jones. Help stop the real KKK ( Kabbalah Kippah Khazars ) . Help support the health of humanity. The Holy health of humanity must be cleansed of this evil. Help stop the replacement of humanity with mutant persons i.e. colonialist European Caucasian whites. Help stop human health defilement. This is about the health of humanity not Hate. Moses wrote God Almighty said “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3.Thanks again..I love you.No one is asking you, not to be "white" or to change your so called neanderthal white skin gene; Yet, where is your Humanity or humanitarian behavior i.e., content of character, love thy neighbor as thy self? or has your heart's ability to love been mutated as well as your skin? I love you....Yet, if whites european colonial persons can refer to dark brown, black indigenous natural human beings as being colored jews then it is too fair, to call or refer to neanderthal, auto immune mutated disease, produced white DNA European Caucasian trait skin person's as, i.e. mutant people, alien people, mutated persons, Gehazian people, snow leper people - as indicated in 2Kings 5:27. Spit in her face person or spit face - as indicated in moses's written Numbers 12:14 .The Holy Bible indicates white caucasian european skin is leprosy in 2Kings 5:27 .God Almighty is not a liar .In 2005 USA genetic confirmed that white european skin is an auto immune disease. There is no white european Gehazian skin leper tribe in Israel. Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:9 "Remember what the Lord thy God did unto Miriam..."). My friend white skin is a disease mutation produced by having a disease gene: having a disease is not a good thing. if you believe the colonial imperialist Christian European Caucasoid prospective of the (Gehazian good white skin Gospel )manifest destiny doctrine . Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who exchange darkness for light and light for darkness; who exchange bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and cleaver or smart in their own sight! If i am lying tell me where? My friend work with the facts and live with truth. Thanks...
I don't get why some folks are confused about Jewish traditions being cultural and not religious for some people! I'm religiously Christian and so Christmas and Easter are very much religious holidays to me... but at this point anyone can tell you that many Christmas and Easter traditions are basically secular and cultural. Isn't it the same thing or at least very similar?
I'd imagine it'd be a bit of a case by case basis. A lot of traditions feel at home as cultural and secular but I think most would agree that singing/chanting things in Latin/Hebrew is often a bit far.
I agree, and personally I feel like Christian raised atheists who don’t accept this are just more culturally used to Christian secular holidays
@@zebedeesummers4413 some of the carols I've sung in my childhood were in Latin. Super atheist family, so I don't share your view on that sense. It is just music!
no. it is absolutely not the same thing. christian holidays being accepted into the mass social scene isn't about secular fun times, it's about the forced assimilation of millions of people. christmas and easter are "secular" because christians have spend literal thousands of years forcing conversion and murdering people who don't comply. jewish tradition goes beyond simple religious bounds because we're a people, a culture, an ethnic group. christians aren't. there is nothing similar about them
It's exactly the same thing to celebrate Christian and Jewish holidays secularly, however only religious Christians call themselves Christians. That's what I've never understood about cultural Jews.
As an atheist married to a muslim man, I’ve had to be way more open-minded when considering that all religion is practiced in a cultural way and that when we have children, I can view my husband’s cultural practices and traditions in a positive way. We can celebrate ramadan AND easter and it will enrich our children’s lives to have so many happy & positive traditions during their upbringing. I first met his culture with a lot of resistance because I would never want my child to feel forced into believing a certain way, but I’ve now decided to embrace our differences and see it as a positive celebration of my child’s heritage ☺️ there will be an ongoing and open conversation always about their spiritual beliefs and encouragement for them to find their own path too
How do you celebrate Ramadan secularly? Like do you still fast? Or just go to Eid parties?
@@victoriaabbey3525 It depends on the year but I’ve chosen to fast to enjoy the mental & physical benefits of fasting with my husband. It helps that we live in a muslim country so there’s lots of buzz and it feels exciting. Eid is of course lots of fun too. But I use Ramadan as my own pause and time for reflection & rest. Hope that helps!
Oh dear, are you one of those types who thinks religious circumcision is okay?
@@starkiller007 What a narrow-minded question to ask. Be kinder 👍
@@lozzyholm1321 Easy to say that when you're not the one who has to go through something so painful. Women lack empathy for men when it comes to stuff like this.
Hi Hannah!
I have heard an argument similar to Dan's from many atheists, and while I understand where they're coming from, I think a lot of the trepidation comes from a lack of understanding of Judaism. My favorite part about being a Jew is that everything is up to your interpretation. The main pillar of the religion is to question EVERYTHING- the teachings, the prayers, the stories, etc.- and to decide what it means to you, and what your Jewish practice looks like for yourself and your family!
Because nothing is set in stone, it is super easy to celebrate Jewish holidays without centering them on the Torah or G-d, or even saying prayers. Instead, you can shift the focus to be about the history of the Jewish people, your own family history (I grew up with many Holocaust survivors, and passing on their stories has become a big part of my family's traditions on holidays), or passing on traditions that meant a lot to you as a kid!
Most of my family is atheist, but that doesn't stop us from celebrating holidays together. Even though we don't bring out the Haggadahs on Passover anymore, we still come together to cook a special kosher for Passover meal and sing Dayenu! It might not be by a Passover by the books, but it works for us and our common beliefs!
As far as secular Hebrew/Jewish songs go, this album is very similar to the one I had growing up: ruclips.net/video/Pjn7qWAVbs8/видео.html
It's a mix of English, Hebrew and Yiddish songs- there are some prayers in there, which you can skip if you or Dan don't feel comfortable sharing. Everything else is pretty harmless!
I come from a similar background - a Jewish mother, and a non Jewish father. My mother converted to Christianity when they decided to start having kids, and we were raised in Christian spaces - churches, private schools, etc. We celebrated Hanukkah each year (mostly at the insistence of my grandma) but didn’t experience any other Jewishness in childhood.
My sibling and I have always felt sort of out of place in our Jewishness. We ARE jewish, but weren’t raised with nearly any of the culture or traditions. In adulthood my sibling took it upon themselves to learn about the faith, culture, and traditions and began to practice. As an athiest, I’ve never felt it would be appropriate for me to start now.
All this to say, I strongly recommend and encourage you to raise your baby surrounded by as many Jewish celebrations and traditions as you want to pass on! It’s very strange to know that you’re Jewish, and to try to be proud of it, but to have none of the cultural knowledge or experience to share common ground with other jews.
There are so many great Jewish songs that are on the cultural side of things! I grew up listening to both Debbie Friedman and Rick Recht, and a lot of their songs have a more cultural bent to them over something that's overtly religious (definitely check out The Latke Song when it's Chanukkah season!). When I was a kid, I also loved this album called Kids Kosher Cuts, which tends to be a little sillier, as it's specifically for young kids. I think a lot of Jewish music directed at kids can be more secular because so much of that stage of Jewish life is just learning and understanding our culture.
Oooh thank you!!
I quite like this... thank you... I've got quite some listening to do
Big love for Debbie Friedman and Rick Recht. Dan Nichols is also a great Jewish artist. All of them tend to have some songs that are prayers and others that are more secular. Grew up listening to all three and Dan Nichols even preformed at my camp!
My late grandfather was a Hindu. One of the things he always told us grandkids was that Hinduism was not a religion, it was a way of life. He very much believed in his Gods but that was almost an addition to the culture of it. It reminds me a lot of how you and others describe the culture and traditions of Judaism, so hopefully it helps to know others feel the same way!
Exactly the same way I feel about Judaism!
I have a lot of feelings about this, I think Dan needs to evaluate why he finds celebrating Jewish holidays, even in a secular way is “weird” but he’s okay with just how much Christianity is a part of life and a child’s education in the UK.
I’m not Christian (Catholic) anymore and I decided to just flat out ignore even the secular celebration of Christian festivals, it’s definitely possible to do.
There’s no reason that you couldn’t raise your children to be aware but not celebrate any of them religiously - through the lens of “This is what we do, this is why, if you want to know more about the religious ritual side I can teach you or find someone who can (family member, friend, priest, rabbi etc)” it’s important to leave the decision up to your kids but don’t actively stop them from exploring.
I’m culturally Hindu, my fiancé is culturally Jewish! I am excited to share my future children’s heritage with them! Neither of us are per se religious, but for us it’s definitely about “where they come from” but also the food and presents are great :)
I'm honestly quite envious of how easily you're able to treat Judaism as a culture rather than a religion! I was raised more religious than you (synagogue every Saturday, definitely not allowed to opt out of a Bat Mitzvah), but not extremely religious (we didn't keep kosher, and if I had a reasonable conflict during synagogue like a volleyball game, I could go to the game instead). Therefore, in my mind, Judaism is TOO tied to religion for me to separate them even though it would make my life easier if I could! Since I consider myself agnostic, I have difficulty claiming I'm also Jewish. "Culturally Jewish" rings funny to me, even though I know plenty of cultural Jews. Still trying to work out where exactly I stand and how I'll raise my children. My inner conflict has definitely been exacerbated by parents who see Judaism as solely a religion.
It is very Jewish to be an Agnostic Jew, I am! Judaism encourages questioning and education!
my parents are the same makeup as you two (secular jewish mother, firmly ex-catholic father) and raised me very similarly; I ended up becoming the most religious person in my family! and while my dad certainly doesn't understand why I do all the jewish things I do, even the ones which I admit seem silly (you cannot convince me meat in its mothers milk wasn't g-ds first stoned thought but I still won't eat it), I think that we ultimately see eye to eye because he's been included in my mom's judaism, and has always wanted it to be a part of our lives and participates in holidays accordingly. I hope Dan finds joy similarly, and that the both of you can find a reform/masorti community that cherishes your family!
I've just stumbled across your RUclips channel. My biological father was Jewish. My Mum and raising Dad, here in the UK were Christian. I had absolutely no idea about my Jewish heritage until a DNA test revealed all when I was 54. I too am an atheist... and frankly I feel as if I am playing catch up with this new-to-me heritage. I'm lucky that my biological father's family has accepted me as part of their family and have and are doing their absolute best to introduce aspects of Jewish heritage to me; something that I'm incredibly grateful for. Because of my origins ("donor" conceived) I suddenly have Jewish friends too who are helping out with "Educating Jo".... tomorrow my husband and I are attending an end of Passover seder. My response to these events is usually floods of tears as I think about all of these new to me ancestors who took part in these events and which I've kind of missed out on till now. Rambling here... but I think too of any future grandchildren I might have. If their parents ( my children) are happy, I'd really like them to get to know something of this heritage that is theirs too. At the moment I have no idea how I'd start! Whilst you are Jewish by maternal descent and I am not, your attitude and explanations of how you plan to approach this with your own children resonate with me. Thanks!
Hannah 🥺 I didn't know you were Jewish! I am too :) 👋🏼 hello! ☺️
It's definitely a very unique experience you don't realize quite how unique as a kid until you talk to people who can't relate, like so many kinds of minority identities~ but I'm so happy you'll be including the culture and traditions in your household as you're raising your kid! My mom grew up under the iron curtain in the Soviet Union and her religion was repressed for so long. Being able to show her kids what she knew and learned in secret growing up, out in the open I think was so special and continuing that legacy to me is impactful. I agree we need to keep the traditions and stories alive! If I ever have kids I will definitely be doing that, there's no question. I think you're doing great by standing for this 👍🏼 stay true to what's important to you. ♥️
Why would Hannukah even be weird for Dan if you're already celebrating Christmas? It's so clearly the same kind of secular cultural thing in both cases!
I think it’s because we don’t say any prayers at Christmas but we do say prayers at Chanukah. There is a slightly different vibe especially if you haven’t grown up in that environment.
@@armerls I don't quite understand how not knowing what you are saying makes it less weird... especially for children. I can understand them not holding much weight but can something not as religous be said in Hebrew?
Also, you can just skip the blessings and focus on the chanukiyah (menorah), dreidel, latkes, donuts, songs, etc - that shouldn’t be weird to Dan at all.
I think it’s a bit rich for him to decide Chanukah traditions are “too religious” yet Christmas traditions aren’t.
🤔
@@verybadminimalist8446 I agree with what you said aside from painting Dan in that light, I don't know him but I'd imagine some ways devout catholics celebrate Christmas might also be "too religious."
I'm sure it'll be something they figure out together, what feels right and what feels a bit too uncomfortable. Knowing why things feel off is of course important for deciding if they needn't be passed on or if it is just a lack of exposure.
@@zebedeesummers4413 I'm almost certain that Dan would find most Christmas traditions that Christians do "too religious". As a British atheist myself Christmas is literally just an opportunity to spend time with my family and buy gifts and I'm definitely uncomfortable in churches and even people saying grace. I think it would become normal for him very quickly but I can understand the religious elements of a holiday might make him uncomfortable because it would be weird for me too!
Not having kids, but I have mixed heritage and wasn’t raised in a specific religion, although the concept of God and religion was very present.
So, on my mom's side, my grandpa was Sephardi jew and grandma was catholic, though she wore the Protestant sign.
And then my biological father is Muslim.
I grew up watching my grandpa pray, and my grandma watching mass on tv on Sunday. I then started taking an interest in Islam because it is also a part of me, even though my father isn’t a part of my life.
I really loved being able and even encouraged to learn about religion and taking part in celebrations from all cultures and not having to ‘make a choice’.
I think being raised in the Jewish culture is a gift and I’m really happy to hear that you are thinking about passing that down to your child 😊
such an interesting video, thanks hannah! I relate to the not ‘jewish enough’ thing: I’m jewish but not religious, and was raised more christian than jewish just because of where we lived and went to school. I have memories of my mum always wearing a star of david (which she’s now given to me and I wear all the time) and celebrating Hanukkah. I’ve recently started trying to connect with my jewish side, especially as identity is a weird one for me being black as well, and i’m loving learning more and celebrating more of the holidays!
I come from a secular family that also sees Judaism more ethnically and culturally (mom is Jewish and European, her family is mixed, dad is Israeli Jewish.) We’re all atheist. We celebrate major Jewish and Christian holidays: Hanukkah, Passover, Jewish New Year and the classic Christmas, Easter, New Year… We used to do Shabbat as well, just lighting candles and making Challah. I personally absolutely love it and wouldn’t change it for the world!
We don’t fast on holidays or eat kosher by any means, we also don’t see Christmas and Christian holidays as anything but our culture from the European country we live in. We sing songs in Hebrew on Jewish holidays (since dad is Israeli, me, my mom and brother all speak Hebrew), we don’t see it from a religious perspective at all. (Btw, Christmas is still my favorite holiday 🥰)
As someone who's not really practising much of Islam any more but plows on fasting Ramadan every year I get this
Just after Hannah said 'I can't speak Hebrew' an advert for Hebrew school immediately came up!
Omggg
I can definitely understand where Dan is coming from. I was raised catholic (I would consider myself agnostic now) and I've recently started celebrating Hanukkah and Passover with my cousin's family and it's been so much fun to see that side of her culture. I think there's definitely a way to celebrate those holidays secularly because they've felt more closely linked to family than religion in my experience.
I found this weridly, surprisingly moving! I'm a "patrilenial Jew" and so have the same amount of heritage, but was also raised atheist. As an adult I'm enjoying re exploring my heritage, and trying to embrace the holidays in the same way most non-Christian Brits do Xmas/Easter ❤ I partly feel that because we have the ethnic heritage, and oppression that comes with it, getting back into the culture feels like reclaiming something that my ancestors had to be a bit shy about.
I just had a baby 5 weeks ago and identify as a secular Jew. My husband is not Jewish (but he's the one who reminds me to light the Hanukkah candles). All of this completely resonated for me! Right down to the Rugrats! I also feel like it's important for my child to know they're Jewish, what that means, and to be proud of their heritage :)
I'm from argentina, my granddad is Jewish and I'm not, because my mom isn't, but I grow up with all the celebrations, I actually feel Jewish, not for the religion per se, all the family of that side was killed in the holocaust, i want my kids to know the history and the connection they will have with that. This video was super interesting and I resonate so much with you in this, your kid is so lucky to have you and your partner ❤
As a secular Jewish person I love the way you put the connection with Judaism that isn't religious but is with the cultural traditions and heritage so much because this is the way I've always felt. It's extremely hard to explain, especially to people who aren't Jewish themselves but even to Jewish people around me, there's always that little fear of people seeing me as 'not Jewish enough', which now, as an adult, I don't care about but growing up it was quite a struggle. It took me many years to figure out a good way to say it and be confident in the way I view it, hearing someone say it out loud like that is something I feel like I've been missing for a long time. I hope to be able to pass that notion along if I have kids too one day.
If it helps look up “humanistic Judaism” it’s basically secular Judaism and what I was raised in. There are even humanistic Haggadahs and Hanukah prayers that explicitly don’t mention god.
+
Whichever way you ' SECULAR JEWS' Put it, you're not believers of God, so you're decorated up Atheists. Why don't you just be honest and say that??
This is such a great discussion topic. I was raised in a christian household but am atheist (as is my partner) and once we had a kid I was really examining holidays like christmas and easter and trying to have meaning without being religious (and also repressing that religious trauma that is heightened that time of year) was challenging. What we did as a family is start celebrating Yule instead of Christmas. We still have gifts and participate i the holiday season but it is far more meaningful to us and kinder to my trauma brain to celebrate the winter and I'm still able to give my kiddo a magical holiday. We've created such beautiful traditions for our own family and I enjoy holidays for the first time EVER!
You have echoed so many of my own experiences! I am atheist, but I have wondered if I would feel differently about Judaism if I knew Hebrew and understood the words in the songs. Really I focus on the expressions of gratitude for survival and the recognition that had my ancestors not survived, then I would not be here. (True no matter who we are, actually.) But yes, non-Jews seldom understand the distinction between heritage and religion, and how I care very much about the former but not the latter. I will never forget.
Beshaah tovah, Hannah & Dan! May your birth be well!
Loves this! Your thoughts and feelings totally make sense. My husband and I are actively a part of the same religious group, but even we have conversations about our future children and how, while we do want to raise them in this religious group, that we don’t want it to look the same way as it did for us growing up. So, even as religious people, it’s still always an ongoing conversation about how we want to be intentional about how we raise our kids with religion in the future!
Hi Hannah, fantastic video! I have a close friend who grew up in the chassidic community in Stanford Hill (he’s ex Charadi but still has a fondness for the culture), it would be so great to see a sit-down video of you both discussing your experiences growing up Jewish and your relationship with it going forwards to show the diversity of Jewish up-bringings and the different relationships people have with it.
Love this video! This is such a nice topic to hear about. As someone who isn’t Jewish it’s lovely to hear you talk about what it has meant for you and what you would like it to mean for your baby. It’s clear that they’re gonna have such a joyful home life ❤️
It's really cool of you to share this :) I'm jewish too! My parents are religious and I'm not, so I totally feel you about the culture/secular aspect. I think it's really cool to represent as a secular jew! the more variety the better! Everyone is different and wants and believes different things!
I LOVE a Rugrats Chanukah! That was how I first learned about the holiday as a kid 🤗
My ENTIRE understanding of Judaism comes from The Rugrats 😁
I feel so seen when talking about secular holidays. I’m atheist, but I love celebrating Christmas and Easter because of getting together with family, the food and enjoying time with loved ones. That’s what the holidays are all about to me.
I have the same cultural experience as you ! it was a pleasure to hear you speak more about that ! my jewish grandmother passed away and although i'm an atheist like you, it's still really important to me to keep celebrating jewish holidays and doing the rituals 💛
Thank you so much Hannah for your explanation of how you feel about your Judaism, this has been so so validating for me. My mum is Jewish but my siblings and I weren't raised very strict; we celebrated all the holidays and knew the stories behind them, but we never went to temple and I never learned Hebrew. I also was never Bat Mitzvahed and I've gotten a lot of crap about it from other Jewish people that it makes me less Jewish. Your way of viewing your Judaism as more of a cultural link than a religious one makes so much sense to me and it's like my feelings toward my Judaism just clicked with this video. I am 100% going to be explaining it this way to people in the future! I hope you are having a good Passover and eating lots of matzo ball soup
This was so interesting. I was brought up Catholic and although I’m not practicing I still get a lot of comfort from Catholic rituals and culture.
I love going into a random church to light a candle and say an intention even if I don’t really believe that it will actually be answered or giving a quick thanks to the patron saint of whatever situation I’m ( there truly is one for everything!)
My partner, on the other hand, is like Dan and finds anything to do with religion deeply uncomfortable so it will definitely be a discussion to have if we were to have children.
Shabbos fairy? That is definitely creative. You have warm feelings about being Jewish because your mom did fun Jewish stuff with you when you were little. Your child will have warm feelings about being Jewish IF you also give him/her a lot of Jewish content like your mom did (and probably her parents also did). That's how it goes, that's how the tradition gets transmitted.
I resonated with SO much of this video! I am also a Jewish atheist, and grateful that I don't remember enough Hebrew from my bat mitzvah to know what any songs or prayers mean. My spouse (raised evangelical Christian, now atheist) and I aren't having kids, but he celebrates all the Jewish festivals with me, including lighting candles usually just the two of us most nights of Hanukkah. Being culturally Jewish is very important to me, and I think it's become even more so since my dad, who was my only Jewish parent, passed away. Celebrating Jewish festivals is a wonderful way to stay connected with my family and family history for me.
Oh, and not a song recommendation, but as a kid I adored listening to Joel ben Izzy's Jewish stories on literal cassette tape. I remember them being more culturally than religiously Jewish and they could be fun to check out for your kids in a few years.
It’s so hard to explain to my partners that I’m not religiously Jewish and how I want to share my CULTURE vs teaching about God. But like, I want my kids to learn about Hannukah and Passover and Purim. It was so much fun for me! I want my kids to have that too
I think it's really empowering to have a fluency with cultural traditions - and in the case of Judaism those traditions are derived from a religion but can be adapted in so many ways. From the perspective of one religious Jewish person - even when I find religious meaning in holidays it's honestly the family experiences that I care about much more. Also, I have especially strong memories of early childhood Jewish experiences in terms of listening to music - I think it's a great way to include Jewish culture in non religious ways
That was very insightful! Like Dan, I usually view being jewish as the practice of religion and not so much the cultural aspect of it. Thanks for sharing this!
I grew up in an irish family going to a catholic school etc etc, my family is pretty much religiously agnostic but I would always describe myself as culturally catholic (maybe it's tied to my Irish heritage in some way who knows). We follow some catholic bits and bobs, but in ways that feels right to us, we don't follow lent but do Easter weekend ya know. I also have Jewish and Hindu cousins so we sort of share each others cultural bits and bobs connected to our religions and it feels really nice to share that.
I am Jewish, and I loved hearing your thoughts on this! I celebrate the holidays the exact way you described. I do the Seders, light the Hanukkiah, eat apples and honey, but I'm agnostic and also do them for the cultural reasons rather than religious. I do not think I want kids, but I similarly feel it is important to celebrate the holidays myself because I feel that obligation to keep the religious and culture alive, even if it is just for me. I also completely agree about how it's great to not understand Hebrew - I love singing the Passover and Hanukkah songs because they just sound pretty and idk what they mean! Really enjoyed hearing someone else's perspective on all of this, I have very few Jewish friends and I often feel isolated in my traditions, so it is nice to hear someone else have similar feelings!
I think this is lovely. I'm an atheist and I still practice Christmas because it's my favorite holiday and I absolutely love the tradition of getting presents for all of my loved ones and spending a day eating good food and just being happy together. I think it's awesome that we're living in a time where we can carve out our own way of doing things, and have it mean whatever we want it to mean for us. No religion needed ❤️
Hi Hannah! Soooo many great comments in here! As someone who grew up kind of bouncing around various degrees of cultural and religious Jewish life, I relate to a lot of other people in the comments about not really knowing where they feel they stand with being Jewish. For me, I do now keep a lot of religious law like kashrut and shabbat, but I do it because it makes me feel like it's helping me be more grounded in myself and my day so that I can be my best self and it also happens to honor my ancestors and my culture, not because of god. In this, I think that one of the most important parts of being a Jew is striving to be a better person today than you were yesterday. As a parent, an excellent way to teach about this is by teaching things like Mitzvot, Tzedakah, Tikkun Olam, etc. These are all things that teach about Jewish values, but aren't really about religiousity. Remember that there is no one way to be a Jew, every Jew is the right way to be a Jew 💜
Also, I highly recommend niggunim as secular jewish music!! Niggunim (wordless songs, yi di di's) are personally my favorite Jewish songs, and they aren't religious at all (:
This is interesting to hear. I'm Jewish and atheist too. However I was raised outside a Jewish community (there just wasn't one where we lived). So it's cool to hear your similar but also slightly different experience/thoughts on this. I have a close family member who survived the Holocaust so for me, maintaining a Jewish identity is a lot about respect and remembrance.
I have a very similar situation being half Polish with a very Catholic family, but being atheist myself! I'm no where near having children myself yet but I would definitely want to do a Polish Christmas and Easter, food and music especially, with any future family I might have, but I'll just leave out the Bible readings and strict Lenten fasting 😅 I'm sure that people across all religions and faiths have similar experiences, but you just have to make them your own!
Likewise - we still do Wigilia and Polish Easter baskets etc but not religious
I think there's definitely a lack of awareness of the "culturally Christian" way that a lot of western society works (I'm in Canada, but UK also). Our public holidays are often around Christian holidays, celebrating Christmas etc is the default, weekends fall in a convenient way for church-going, etc.
The thing about having the songs & prayers in a language you don't understand is interesting. I grew up going to church (Anglican) and as I got into my teens, I realized I was atheist. But I kept going to church for a long time after that realization because I loved the community of my church, i sang in the choir, etc. But once I was in my early 20s, I was doing that "adult"-ish thing of really examining my life as I wanted it to be. And I really was finding that as much as I loved the community, etc., I felt like I was lying to myself every week saying the prayers, etc. So I stopped going to church regularly. For a few years, I'd still go at Christmas or other special occasions. But even that's faded away over the last 10-15 years.
One strange thing that's come up in a few contexts is actively not using the phrase "bless you" when someone sneezes. I've settled on "gesundheit" instead, and others in my life have also independently done the same. My sister really actively does it around her kids (and encourages the rest of our family to do the same). It's just one of those things that as we started to examine it, saying "bless you" felt very odd... I'm not like offended by it if someone else says it, but I choose not to say it anymore.
Thank you for discussing this topic, Hannah! As an Atheist Jewish person myself I can definitely relate. As a Hebrew speaker, I have a hard time with the traditional sayings and songs of Jewish holidays. I would try to search for modern Hebrew holiday songs which I think would be more secular.
With regards to Christmas holiday traditions being less god-centered - I think that is how many of the Christian holidays are because most traditions have pagan origins. Personally, I still see them as religious, and that may be due to not growing up with them in my home. All this is to say that holiday celebrations are personal and both Jewish and Christian holidays can be celebrated in a secular way in my opinion. As an adult I just have traditional-inspired holiday meals and that's where I draw the line :)
i totally agree with this!! being jewish is basically just a cultural identity for me at this point and i love the idea of raising children with your culture and not necessarily religion. i know it's not technically secular but as a kid we always did Paul Zim's passover songs which makes passover more of like a singing little dinner party rather than a religious thing. this year we did a queer/pro palestine haggadah and it was so fun. can't wait to hear more about your experience once baby is born :')
I love how intelligent and creative the Jewish community are. The amazing cuisine, the amazing sense of humour, love and kindness to people. I found the joke funny about Facebook being dead after the rebranded name, because they may have predicted that Facebook may not exist forever. Back story about the joke: the new name of Facebook was misinterpreted by the Jewish community, because Meta, the new name for Facebook means dead in Hebrew but it means interconnectivity in Latin, hence why the Facebook name change was misinterpreted and who knows if Facebook does die off?
Rugrats Hanukkah is classic! We're Christian and raising our daughter to be, but in a different way than how we grew up. We haven't quite figured it out yet honestly, but I'm hopeful that things will come together.
The rugrats was my childhood. You made me so happy that you were able to buy that book. I want it now!
This video couldn't come in a better time for me. This week is the Holy week of Easter for orthodox christians. I was raised as a christian and this year I'm abroad so I can't celebrate easter with my family like always. I miss the celebrations but I'm not that religious so that was very confusing for me, until you mentioned in this video that you like the cultural side of being jewish. That resonated with me. Thank you!
So I'm Polish and my partner is English and ever since we got together he really encouraged me to explore my culture and enjoy it. When I was a teenager I really separated myself from everything Polish as my abusive mother made Polish culture and the country itself look like a bad thing. I've been really enjoying bringing the food, history and culture back into my life in England. I can't wait to raise my kids as Polish-English. I really want them to get the best of both worlds, whilst educating them enough to be able to enjoy their Polishness and Poland themselves. Much love :)
This is so interesting!!! Thanks for sharing, yeah I’m a Christian viewer here and it’s been a huge conversation for my husband and I thinking forward to kids about what that would look like for us in the home. Also largely hinges on our local church family which basically is equivalent to blood family for us! I’m the opposite to you though growing up in a relationship with God, knowing all the Jewish stories etc but missing out getting to enact the celebrations in a real way etc! We did our own version of Passover with a lamb tagine this year(!), a pile of friends around a few tables squeezed into our living room and everyone sharing what Easter meant to them this year after dinner. I feel like I’m borrowing from Judaism but appreciate the symbolism and the deep chat!! As a Christian I have so much respect for Jewish people and am so thankful for so much of Jewish culture that meant we have so much scripture preserved etc! One question to anyone who might know - is there a preferred way of speaking either ‘Jew’ or ‘Jewish person’? Cheers!
Thank you for asking about if it's more respectful to refer to someone a "Jew" or "Jewish person". Speaking from my own experience, it's more comfortable to be referred to as "Jewish" (note: not *a* Jewish, just Jewish) if it's a non-Jewish person talking. I have been called a "Jew" in a derogatory way before and that makes it uncomfortable to be referred to that way now, even if I know the person who's speaking isn't antisemitic. That being said, it's normal for Jewish people to refer to themselves and each other as Jews.
@@sillydaisy11017 thank you so much! Appreciate you taking the time to reply :)
@@bookshelf829 Thanks!! This is a really kind and helpful reply - also helpful to understand that it may be different in how you speak about yourself if you are Jewish!? A key nuance. Much appreciated :) Cheers!! Have a great day!
@@sillydaisy11017 “messianic Jews” are Christians cosplaying as Jews
HIGHLY recommend reading Sasha Sagan’s “For Small Creatures Such As We.” It’s a fabulous look at different religions/cultures around the world, and Sagan explains how she grapples with being Jewish based on culture/heritage but agnostic in terms of belief.
I’m a young Jewish woman who was raised by artsy liberal parents. My Dad’s side of the family is Christian and my grandma is slightly religious but my dad is really not. My mom is Jewish and was raised such but not in a super spiritual way, more like she grew up in a Jewish neighborhood and everyone did things a certain way. From my perspective it’s been really important to me to know about my Jewishness and relish in it even if I don’t understand everything. I love singing all the songs and the community aspect of many traditions. And food! My Dad has taken a liking to many of the holidays because of those reasons as well, even though he’s not Jewish himself. I support your desire to raise your baby Jewish and I think you’ll have a lot of fun with it after you figure it out!! One last thing: holidays can be celebrated non-religiously like you said, although for me it’s been important to recognize the meaning behind the holidays even if I don’t celebrate them religiously, if you get what I mean. Good luck!! ✡️
I'm not sure if this would help Dan understand things better, but it's important to note that some Jewish holidays are more historical than religious. Chanukah and Purim are really about historical events in which Jews were oppressed and could've been killed but then miraculously weren't. I can't think of any historical holidays in the UK (I'm American), but maybe you can explain it that way so that he won't feel uncomfortable and won't think that it's about God. It's a bummer that he feels weird about it because the traditions can be so fun and meaningful. Also, it's possible to look at stories in the Torah and Jewish holidays as non-literal and try to take lessons from them and enjoy them without worrying about religious aspects.
Thank you so much for making this video! It triggered me to really think about all the Christian traditions I parttake in because I was raised by Christians, even though I have identified as atheist for the vast majority of my life. I had no choice in whether or not I wanted to do my communion and I literally had no idea what was going on at the time, because I only went to church maybe once or twice a year. I later discovered that we were only made to do it so that my grandparents would be happy.
Hannah, I really wonder if you have looked into liberal Jewish communities? I feel like the level of secular Jewish practice and culture you describe would fit well, and would allow you to give your child(ren) a taste of a community - they can later decide if they want to continue to be part of that!
As someone who grew up in the US I feel like the UK should adopt the "Jewish, emphasis on the ish" idea that's really common and seems to best sum up how "Jewish" as an culture/ethnicity
Such a great video!
I'm a practicing Christian (meaning I regularly attend a church, take communion and study/discuss the bible in a small group with other members of my church this is my definition just FYI). I've noticed that as I get older, although I'm excited to celebrate Christmas/Easter I don't find myself holding a lot of meaning over the things that are customary to that festival ie: Easter eggs, Christmas presents etc. For me it's about remembering why I celebrate them and do these things still hold truth for me X
I absolutely agree with all the comments that are saying you can celebrate any religion's holidays secularly, but my husband and I are still having these conversations about the traditionally christian holidays that we celebrate secularly AND how to talk about the ones that we don't celebrate but our family does.
We don't celebrate Easter, but my in-laws do. So in that case, we want to share the parts of that celebration we would normally participate in (family dinner, Easter egg hunts) and use it as a learning moment about the parts we don't celebrate (Sunday service, etc). Basically like "this is our version of Easter, but for grandma it means these other things too and if you want to do those things with grandma that's cool".
Same with Christmas, we don't do a lot of the religious traditions (star on the tree, Christian songs) but we'll talk about those as options for that holiday.
We've been talking about getting involved in some other cultural-but-not-religious holidays, but we live in a very small place so there isn't a ton of opportunity there. But there are some indigenous celebrations that invite the public we've talked about doing, that's something I did with my mom a lot when I was little.
Anyway, I agree y'all can celebrate Jewish celebrations secularly just like a large portion of us celebrate Christian holidays secularly.
Great video, thank you for sharing. I completely relate to your experience and upbringing and totally agree with your plans. I just spent Seder with my baby cousin who is being taught about his heritage but not raised religiously. It's super nice to do our cultural family traditions in such a proud way for baby to learn.
Hi Hannah! I just wanted to share that as someone who also grew up celebrating being Jewish pretty exclusively culturally and ethnically, my mom signed us up for PJ Library which sends free Jewish books and music monthly! Some of it was really neat and some of it was super goofy, but it was a lot of fun as a kid to get something for us in the mail every month, and I remember as something that taught me a lot and made my Jewish-ness feel extra special. Song-wise, there are SO MANY silly Jewish kids' songs! My favorite CD we received from PJ library was an album called Let's Go Coconuts! by the Macaroons, which is honestly just ridiculous but very fun. Another awesome one that's not about religion at all is called Oy Mayn Keppele by Cindy Paley that my very old, very Jewish great-great-aunt used to sing to us. It's very kvetch-ey and funny! Last, I also started listening to the Barry Sisters because their song Tumbalalaika started playing while I was watching the Marvelous Mrs Maisel, which I also used to hear as a kid from aforementioned great-great-aunt! Anyway, there are absolutely so many options for non religious fun Jewish songs :) And congratulations on your baby!!
I know my soon to be mother in law has said marriage is easy, buying a house is easy. Having kids and figuring out how each of you parent your kids and whether that works together is hard.
This is something I bring up almost every year with my friends an family. I hate that it expected that everyone celebrates Christmas but when I invite some of my friends for Eid celebrations, I hear that it's "too" religious. Most of the time they're just invited for lunch or dinner (no prayers or rituals involved) but because it is a religious holiday they have a huge problem with being around people of the respective religion. It's as if they believe one meal will convert them to Islam and it's really frustrating. Ironically, when I decline Christmas invitations (I rather be with my family), the same people feel greatly offended.
I find this so interesting as someone who was raised CofE Christian and now identifies as atheist and identifying that difference between ritual and nostalgic tradition. My partner was raised very atheist and recently commented on a cross necklace I was wearing (that I'd inherit) as making him uncomfortable. I'd want my children to experience things like christingle or taking part in a nativity show even though I don't believe in the message it was a happy experience for me. It was lovely to hear your perspective on this Hannah 😁
You explained this in such a thoughtful respectful way, it was fascinating to listen to!
My mom is culturally/ethnically Jewish and my dad is atheist and we grew up culturally celebrating both! It was very clear to me always that we just celebrate the Jewish holidays in the same way lots of non-christians celebrate Christmas and Easter. I grew up with a few close family friends in the same boat.
If it is helpful for Dan to hear - this may be more common than expected!
Hanukkah is already a relatively non-religious Jewish Holiday, Purim is basically a panto and I think everyone is happy to eating Challah on a saturday morning. So I think just showing Dan and your future kid that these are more just fun holidays to spend together and eat and drink then I think he will come around :))
I’m an atheist (raised catholic) and my bf comes from a culturally semi(?) Jewish family, I’m realising this may be a bigger conversation than I thought if/when we have kids of our own. Thank you for sharing!
my dad is russian orthodox and my mum is catholic and they are both moderately regious. they made the decision to let us choose our own religion so my little brother and i are atheist and dont feel the weight of having to leave a religious community and stuff. my older brother decided to become russian orthodox when he was 19. i personally love that they gave us the chance to decide as opposed to your parents doing it for you when youre a baby.
As a non religious jew living in Israel, I can say you can definitely celebrate most jewish holidays secularly - most of us do just that. I guess it’s similar to the secular culture in more christian countries like England. I can also say that some of the prayers are actually worth knowing the meaning of, they’re quite beautiful, like the one reminding us to be grateful for living at this day and time after all our people have been through.
Thank you for bringing attention to this. I'm Jewish, and you managed to explain a lot of the things that I completely expected to hear in this discussion.
This video made my day :)
I grew up in a jewish household but with a mixed fam, and I think the way we celebrated holidays was very cultural, and about family and the stories of the holiday, and the religious stuff I learned through going to temple and Hebrew school, although that also fizzled out as I went into my later teen years. I think the perspective of letting your child come to their own conclusions about religion is great, as that’s how I was raised, and I ended up with arguably stronger ties to both religion and culture than my parents, and my sibling pretty much just comes to holidays for the food and to see family, and we both got to get to these conclusions on our own, without any expectations. I don’t think doing Hanukkah or other holidays secularly is weird at all, and as a kid my parents would often encourage me and my sib to bring our non Jewish friends to share our culture (and food).
As for secular Jewish holiday songs, my mind goes to Adam Sandlers Hanukkah song, and Maccabeats parodies that usually refer more to acts of the holiday than individual prayers. Debbie Friedman also sang some “let’s all sing together” type tunes, though many are still derivative of Hebrew prayers.
This was super interesting because I never thought about this from a Jewish perspective. You explained this in a way that really resonates because I feel the same way about Christianity. I'm also atheist but we celebrate Christian holidays in a very secular way. Just never thought about Judaism in the same context.
My child is an ethic Muslim. I am not raising him in any religion, but when my kiddo gets old enough to decide if they want to be religious I will support them wholeheartedly. And likewise if they do not. I’m leaving it up to them to decide. But I totally get you on being a participant in your ethnic culture, hopefully my kiddo will get this experience as well.
There are a lot of secular holiday songs! There are Purim's songs about costumes (e.g. שיר המסיכות) and festivities (תן כתף), Hanukkah songs about the hanukkiah candles (חנוכיה לי יש) and dreidel (סביבון סוב סוב סוב), Rosh Hashana songs about starting anew (בראש השנה) and so on (שנה טובה, בשנה הבאה). Also a lovely song about the months cycle in the Jewish calendar: בתשרי נתן הדקל (שנים עשר ירחים)
I recommend giving them a listen, and pass it on to the young one in the appropriate times of the year :)
Thank you for your thoughts Hannah! I'm also Jewish on my mom's side and secular Christian on my dad's side (in your video on your DNA test, we came out almost identical in percentages!), and I grew up celebrating both Jewish holidays like Hanukkah and Passover, as well as Christmas. I have more family and closer family ties on my dad's side, so I've always felt a bit weird claiming my Jewish identity while celebrating Christmas with them. But my husband is Jewish, and I feel that pull much more now from his family. When I have kids I would want them to feel proud and comfortable in their Jewish identity, while not feeling weird celebrating (secular) Christmas with my dad's side!
I am down with everything you said. It is not about the practice of the religion but, more about having pride in where you come from. My wife and I (Both Jewish) just our first baby and we are just planning to mold our faith in a way that we enjoy rather than have it be burdensome. I came from a more religious home that my wife but, we found a middle ground so we can both enjoy keeping a Jewish home.
Fun fact lots of Christmas songs were written by Jewish ppl. There’s a Chanukah song I think the English version is called who can retell. The Passover song who knows one is also kinda fun. I think it’s amazing that your passing on knowledge and fun traditions! I noticed you said ashkenazi, I’m not sure if you know this but there is quite a few genetic diseases associated with ppl who descend from those “lines”/areas (idk what to call), it can be useful/important info too, for you and your children to know if you carry anything, while carrying doesn’t affect you if 2 ppl who carry have kids there’s a chance for an affected child.
Eyyy I remember asking you about this in the Discord and you having no idea yet, lots of fun to see that I may have, even indirectly, contributed to this video :D
My husband is humanist and I’m Christian. I take my kids to church and we talk about Jesus/God. I always wanted to raise my kids to know and understand my faith and to know the stories (understanding Christianity and bible stories helps a lot with studying the arts at university and beyond). I hope they will believe what I do, but I am very open to giving them the choice. We have some lovely kids story books about Christianity. At school my kids learn about other religions (we have a large local Muslim population which helps there) and I’m hoping to find some story books about other religions. I loved the Hindu stories especially when I was small. I’m very jealous of you celebrating Purim as a kid though - it’s such a great story and sounds like a really fun festival.
My grandmother is from Manchester and had a great Jewish life there, when my grandfather escaped the Holocaust and got to England, they met, and decided to make Aaliyah together, and she's never been back. But, she's always said that Manchester was a great place to be Jewish.
OMG this video is so relatable. I'm Jewish by culture but not religious and I relate to this so much
I really appreciate you taking the time to explain this pov, it's really rare to see it and I'm totally identifying with what you're saying and I feel like it's not represented all that often.
As far as songs go, you have:
נר לי נר לי
אנו נושאים לפידים
באנו חושך לגרש
סביבון סביבון סביבון סוב סוב
רבי קלמן
And there are plenty others, most Hanukkah's are not religious
I have never heard of the Shabbat fairy, but it sounds awesome! It's like the candyman at shul, but without having to actually go to shul.