iM A WOMAN AND AM AN INFP, MY BOYFRIEND OF 4 YEARS IS AN ESFJ. WE HAVE SOME OF THE CHALLENGES YOU'VE DETAILED. but overall this has been the best relationship I've ever been in!
It's difficult for me to properly reply to your comment because I can't confirm that you're indeed an INFP and you mate is an ESFJ. Based on my observations and MBTI theory, this pair is romantically incompatible long-term. However, since you seem to be in a fulfilling romantic relationship, enjoy it! J.M.
I advocate that like attract like. Therefore, although you may have crushes on a particular type of men, the real issue is whether you can meet each other's needs long term. J.M.
This pairing comes with challenges indeed. There are more pro's than what you've mentioned, and you didn't put emphasis on the biggest challenge between these types. Because it's NOT EF vs IF, because these are usually compatible , the issue comes from their secondary functions, which are the ones they gather information with, which are Extroverted Intuition vs Introverted Sensing. One is expansive the other is contracting. The INFP dominates ESFJ, just like ENTJ dominates INFP. And I'm not using the word dominate in a negative way. INFP most always has a higher view over the relationship compared to ESFJ, while ENTJ has a higher view over the relationship compared to INFP. Imo this pairing can work only if the man is INFP, and not the other way around. Same with ENTJ and INFP, only works well if ENTJ is the man. If they are both mature enough, and understand this pairing is primarily fruitful from an evolution standpoint, it can be rewarding. If they can avoid parent-child dynamic, and can be grateful for the differences and can be very aware of them it can also last.
Hi @thomasclark405, It's sad to say, but most people are in long-term romantic relationships with incompatible and/or unhealthy mates. They've never been in love and are no longer trying to improve their union because they have lost hope. The INFP-ESFJ pairing is uncommon because a small % of the population are NFs, especially INFPs. But I agree that this is a very incompatible pairing. J.M.
Hi Ro. L, I watched videos from csjosephs and Melissa talks RUclips channels. I analyze MBTI personality types very differently from them. I appreciate your suggestions. J.M.
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Ive given it a try. The feeling part seems significant, but the rest is just off.
Sorry to hear about this challenging relationship. That's why it's important to learn about personality (or brain) type romantic compatibility.
J.M.
iM A WOMAN AND AM AN INFP, MY BOYFRIEND OF 4 YEARS IS AN ESFJ. WE HAVE SOME OF THE CHALLENGES YOU'VE DETAILED. but overall this has been the best relationship I've ever been in!
It's difficult for me to properly reply to your comment because I can't confirm that you're indeed an INFP and you mate is an ESFJ. Based on my observations and MBTI theory, this pair is romantically incompatible long-term.
However, since you seem to be in a fulfilling romantic relationship, enjoy it!
J.M.
Is it weird that as an infp female, I'm very attracted to esfj men? I'm not sure why I've always developed crushes on them.
I advocate that like attract like.
Therefore, although you may have crushes on a particular type of men, the real issue is whether you can meet each other's needs long term.
J.M.
This pairing comes with challenges indeed. There are more pro's than what you've mentioned, and you didn't put emphasis on the biggest challenge between these types. Because it's NOT EF vs IF, because these are usually compatible , the issue comes from their secondary functions, which are the ones they gather information with, which are Extroverted Intuition vs Introverted Sensing. One is expansive the other is contracting.
The INFP dominates ESFJ, just like ENTJ dominates INFP. And I'm not using the word dominate in a negative way. INFP most always has a higher view over the relationship compared to ESFJ, while ENTJ has a higher view over the relationship compared to INFP.
Imo this pairing can work only if the man is INFP, and not the other way around. Same with ENTJ and INFP, only works well if ENTJ is the man.
If they are both mature enough, and understand this pairing is primarily fruitful from an evolution standpoint, it can be rewarding.
If they can avoid parent-child dynamic, and can be grateful for the differences and can be very aware of them it can also last.
I invite you to watch again the video because I cover in detail the pros and cons of the INFP & ESFJ pairing.
J.M.
I would be surprised if this couple even falls in love with each other or tries to make it work
Hi @thomasclark405,
It's sad to say, but most people are in long-term romantic relationships with incompatible and/or unhealthy mates. They've never been in love and are no longer trying to improve their union because they have lost hope.
The INFP-ESFJ pairing is uncommon because a small % of the population are NFs, especially INFPs. But I agree that this is a very incompatible pairing.
J.M.
You should check out csjosephs channel and Melissa talks. They go in depth regarding mbti
Hi Ro. L,
I watched videos from csjosephs and Melissa talks RUclips channels. I analyze MBTI personality types very differently from them.
I appreciate your suggestions.
J.M.