Infj here! I totally agree with the being „non-emotional“. People that Ive been friends with for 10+ years, say things like “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before” and that’s true because I don’t really show emotions to other people, but I cry over basically everything and nothing when I’m alone, on a daily basis lmao
"So an INFJ can be focused on humanity and helping people, without actually having to interact with that many actual people" That's my plan, thanks for making me not feel alone
Same same, so ... I'd like to be im R&D 😂 While I satisfy my curiosity on the topics I love ("Artificial Intelligence" and Machine Learning), I can causally still satisfy the need to do something "for others", even though most of that is already happening by me helping out friends with problems everyday 😅😂
I'm an INFJ/ISFJ (the intuition vs sensing is almost 50/50) and I'm a custodian. I really love it because I hardly have to interact with people. It's just me and my work. But I'm helping people by cleaning my floor so the kids and teachers have hood learning environment
I'd definitely say I have at least some natural talent for acting and mimicking. I think it has something to do with the whole chameleon thing. Observing others, picking up on their patterns and then being able to bring out whatever I have in me that fits that character/person. And of course being able to pretend completely as well for the rest. I've been complimented on my acting before as well (I'm definitely not an actor or anything, I just get comments on it when I'm goofing around a bit and during two obligatory "acting" classes that I had)
Do other INFJs pick up accents easily? Within 2 mins I picked up a slight New Zealand accent at a party. I was asked where in NZ I came from, by a New Zealander. I'm from South London. I was so embarrassed. I had to explain I just pick up accents without conscious thought. I hate doing that.
As an INFJ, I always say I love humanity but dislike people. Helping humanity from a distance helps me to feel less drained and overwhelmed. This video earned my subscription!
Agreed! Also, Please research 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till. Spread the word!
YEESSSSS FROM A DISTANCE 😭😅 I even say that all the time, I care about you from a distance 🥺 it sometimes makes me feel like such a jerk and not a real friend. But behind the scenes sometimes I “plan” for example for people to meet or even talk very good about someone in front of their crush or boss so they indirectly get good things their way. Sigh I hate I cannot help a lot sometimes 😔
Here is a quote by dostojewski in "Brothers Karamazov" I related to. “I love humanity,” he said, “but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people, if it were somehow suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours, I begin to hate the best of men; one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me.”
"A performance that has a time limit on it, where they have to retreat back to their introverted lair." Exactly! Thank you for expressing this perfectly Nathan!❤️ I am Yoda. -INFJ 🤣
100% relate. It happens again and again to me. I get a fancy job im not really suited for, (i kill it in the interview) im the dream star employee for about 18 wks. Till it slowly crushes me and i dont have the energy anymore to mirror exactly what they are looking for anymore. Still seeking the right career..... why cant i be paid to read books, snuggle my cat and drink cups of tea??
@@marianney7644 YOOOOO THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AT MY LAST JOB - finding something like doing deliveries really helped me just fyi because there's time to sit by yourself for periods of time
One of my best friends (in fact, one of my very few friends) is an INFJ and quite often when we discuss topics, we end up with: 'as always, it is the same, but different for each of us'. The quoted friend seems so cold and rational at times that for a while I was wondering she might have been an INTJ as well. Only when I started looking into cognitive functions (rather than a brief 4 letter standards and stereotypes) I realised the difference between us and the source of it. I find INFJs extremely insightful, nearly 'psychic' in fact, when it comes to analysis and understanding of other humans psyche. I sometimes literally ask the bespoke friend: 'how would you handle such a being?' and rather than getting a 'manual' I hear elaboration on what the being might have been through. The accuracy of analysis is literally freaking. I once suggested 'I think you would be a great therapist'. The answer surprised me a bit: 'I would have no patience. Most people just come to whine about their problems. If the patients were like you - admitting to have a problem and seeking a solution - yes. Otherwise, no: people drain me too much'. INFJs -I think you are brilliant.
yep, people keep suggesting i get into psychology-therapy As much as i think i might fit or even like it, i just don't see it as something i want to do
Yes! As an INFJ I often find myself in a therapist role which leads me to think I might make a good therapist but if I think about actually doing that job I think I would go more crazy than I already am.
That's why I pursued Physics and engineering instead. I'm good at understanding people and where they may be coming from, but it's draining to try to therapize, would rather help where people are ready for the right information at the right time, so I studied Physics to just broaden my understanding around things to hopefully later connect the right understanding of things with the right people later. Not sure it's working, but I think that's a summation of my motivation behind the things I've often chosen to do.
Currently I’m like one of those movie villains who has their fingers in the door whilst the person on the other side is desperately slamming... ~ Nathan
@@lovewho As a child I doorslammed myself accidently while holding the door open by the hinge and your comment gave me a visceral reaction. I will never see an infj doorslam comment the same way. While I'm here I just want to thank you for your content which is always enjoyable and often illuminating (and which I finally liked and subscribed to, sorry!!) and for luring me out of the shadows. Anyway back to the shadows...
"So an INFJ can be focused on humanity and helping people, without actually having to interact with that many actual people". I so agree with this. While Fe-doms seem to need to be around people to live their lives normally, I don't think I don't need to be around people at all when crafting my masterplan/my projects. However, my work needs to be affecting people directly otherwise I won't have any motivation and I don't feel like I'm utilizing my Fe skills to its fullest capability with my current work. Unfortunately, I can't speak for other INFJs, because I don't if that's just me or not.
I can completely relate to this. Sometimes I have confused other people because while I care very deeply about other people, I don't like being around them at all. I'd much rather be working in the background, helping humanity.
Excellent video as always! My father's an INFJ and while he's extremely empathetic, he is also extremely impersonal at times. In fact, the way he analyses my report cards makes me think he's an INTJ who was misdiagnosed but then there's a bowl of ice-cream given to me at the end of it, which reaffirms his INFJ-ness XD.
I live my life in the Ni/Ti loop... when I have a date or need to teach, I can feel myself pulling out of it, putting on my Fe/Se persona.... but it gets tired quickly.
Yes, we tend to get lost in other people's feelings thanks to our repressed 6th slot Fi. Though I may not speak for every INFJ. When we truly improvise, it doesn't really goes as planned. But rather, we take advantages of the circumstances and "somehow" managed it.
Let me make a 2nd comment. INFJs are called "impractical" or too idealistic. But, I think it's misunderstood-- even by INFJs themselves. When something catches an INFJ's attention, they would like to understand them comprehensively. And that could lead to misconceptions of a lot of things thanks to the little connections they have in between the different subjects/fields. It would be like uhh.. Making business deals like you're interrogating a criminal. Or a biologist taking on zoology. Maybe, a pianist attempting in learning the guitar. They do have connections. But they're not enough to make it valid. And so, INFJs may use the same exact methods they use on something that could be entirely different. INFJs can be practical thanks to their spontaneous interests. It can be capricious but in a more organized way.
INFJ's judge everything in the external world with Fe and thus without any Te (because it's the point of least resistance - weakest function), so they have a lack of rational external judgement.
@@PowerRedBullTypology I looked up the definition of Te for double-checking. And I now realize why I'm forgetful when it comes to math. INFJs much prefer to analyze something thoroughly rather than picking the most effective approach because that's inconsiderate (at least imo). We shouldn't say that INFJs are incapable of Te. But I feel like Ni clashes with Te heavily. More so than Si for INFJs.
Hahaha going into a similar direction with my focus on machine learning and natural language processing 😁 I super like it, because... no humans, no emotions and finally silence and peace. I take care of my friends' emotional and life problems though. So basically in private more of the "typical" (I do believe however that we are all different anyways) INFJ.
When I was a bit younger, I thought there must be something wrong with me due to my persistent habit of detaching emotionally. I would seriously find myself googling it to try to diagnose myself 😂 Interesting how similar people of a type can be, even when considering how very different their lives have been. Thanks for sharing.
I think that detachment comes from being inauthentic and putting on an act, but it's hard to be authentic around people we think may judge us in a negative way. I could be completely wrong though, thoughts?
@@adammason6945That is perhaps the case sometimes, for some INFJs, as I cannot speak for everyone, but remember that INFJs do also have introverted thinking, which, along with introverted intuition, can make them analytical or emotionally detached at times. This is especially the case for those INFJs who have a well-developed Ti. This can make them appear as thinkers and can actually be quite a bonus. If I were buried in my extraverted feeling all the time, I would come to many illogical conclusions or do many things simply based on trying to make people "feel good". Or I would be so focused on helping others that I would never be able to accomplish anything for myself outside the realm of being there for other people. I'd rather be balanced and dissociated than run that road. My mom is an INFJ who took the Extraverted feeling path for so many years that her entire life has essentially been lived for others, which is great if that's the only thing that makes you happy, but she also put off any of her own goals for them so that THEY would be happy. I have watched her constantly get stepped on and taken advantage of along the way because of this. I feel that Ni-Ti's ability to dissociate me from Fe and allow me to compare feeling to logic actually may allow me to be much more authentic in my opinions and decision-making. And allows me to remember that I matter in my endeavours, too. I hope this makes sense to you. I didn't mean for it to run so long, but it did. What do you do 🤷♀️
I'm an INFJ and my gf is an ENTP,, yesterday she literally had to tell me that I shouldnt feel bad about talking about what I like, or doing things I like, because usually I only consider her feelings and needs rather than my own 😂
@@grayolsen8769 HAHAHA yeah ENTPs are certainly interesting! We have pretty good communication and talk out all of our troubles! Although, debating can sure as hell be spicy😂
I’m an INFJ electrician - I’m actually pretty darn good at it. Not the greatest at troubleshooting yet, but my brain is very good at drawing out the whole electrical system I’m working on, which is inside walls and basically invisible. It’s really good for me - I find working on these real world systems balances me out a lot
Sometimes it can be hard to be so empathetic. I rarely watch the news and can’t watch horror or sad movies because all the emotions are overwhelming for me.. I kind of have this inner conflict because I really want to help people but at the same time.. always feeling other people’s emotions can be stressful and hard to process
Trigger warning: No one asked, I'm talking about myself liking horror lol I also don't watch the news but I have a particular attachment to horror... is not something that I like to watch ON A DAILY BASIS OFC... lol, that'll be to much, but I like the comforting horror type? Like nana, omori, girl from nowhere LUV IT, it's weird because horror it's like my passion even like for fun I like scary spooky monsters for some reason lol... I love how horror can portray society problems and a lot of variety of problems into a symbolic representation, I would love as an Infj to share my inner world and ideas as a comic or horror game one day ngl
I'm known in my social circle for being : Sarcastic, not emotional and smart .. n I've been asked befor if I ever cry ! .. if I'll tell someone that I cry while watching movies or just cuz of stories I make in my mind they'll think I'm just being silly ! Also I'm a science student .. still love psychology tho
@@JJ-ii6nn you're more than likely not an INFJ. You're most likely a r-tarded ESFJ (or ESTJ). Those types are the bane of humanity, and are notorious for compulsive-manipulation and lying.
You are 100 percent spot on about the INFJ and chameleon persona. We understand people on a deep level, usually picking up cues of body language and speech so most of the time, I can mirror back what I think they might need or want (empathy). Speaking for myself, I don't go chameleon to manipulate anyone (it goes against my principles) but I do it to connect with that person and to put them at ease in any situation. I genuinely like and care about people. One stereotype of INFJs is that we shy away from confrontation. This is very untrue. Yes, we do love harmony and we seek peace in a group setting HOWEVER if a value (like respect, compassion, fairness) is violated or threatened, we can be very assertive and direct. You'll see the warrior come out...and because of Ni and Ti, we can be as blunt as any Thinker.
Wonderfully explained; these are stereotype-breakers that can often make INFJs wonder if they're mistyped; for the longest time, that was me. Excellent video as always.
Let me make a 2nd comment. INFJs are called "impractical" or too idealistic. But, I think it's misunderstood-- even by INFJs themselves. When something catches an INFJ's attention, they would like to understand them comprehensively. And that could lead to misconceptions of a lot of things thanks to the little connections they have in between the different subjects/fields. It would be like uhh.. Making business deals like you're interrogating a criminal. Or a biologist taking on zoology. Maybe, a pianist attempting in learning the guitar. They do have connections. But they're not enough to make it valid. And so, INFJs may use the same exact methods they use on something that could be entirely different. INFJs can be practical thanks to their spontaneous interests. It can be capricious but in a more organized way.
YESSS thank you for saying this! As an INFJ I relate to this soo much but I just don't knowhow to explain it because I just think that people won't think it makes sense
I would have to say that one stereotype that INFJs defy is that although they may be the rarest, they don't feel like the rarest (both by the INFJs themselves and by others who see them). Their Fe makes them want to influence people (which can be for good or bad), so in trying to influence other people, they always try to find commonalities with everyone. And because they're always thinking of what they have in common with other people, they feel like they're not that different from other types of people. And whatever mysteries of the universe they've discovered with their Ni, the moment they meet their friends and think "Should I talk about the mysteries of the universe that I've just discovered?", their Fe says, "Naah..!!" and their Ni agrees, "Yeah, what's the point of telling them? What would change?" So others might view INFJs as nothing out of the ordinary. The feeling-the-rarest award would go to INFPs. They feel like the rarest type because they are in fact the quirkiest. Their secondary Ne (which is the cause of their creativity) supports their main function Fi (which puts the spotlight on their personality). Together, these two functions create the most unique of personalities. And since INFPs have Fi instead of Fe, they don't cater their communication to people and instead feel the need to always be true to themselves in any situation, with just about everyone. So, not only are they weird, but they show their weirdness to everyone making them seem like a unicorn to themselves and to everyone else.
I agree about this like- Most people (infjs) who talk out about feeling rarest and loneliest might actually be infps, because most of the time I feel almost the same as any normal human being or I'm coming up with conclusions why I am normal, but then I look at the cognitive functions and how they work for INFJ and it's really accurate so I just kind of felt.... Idk how I felt. But the stereotypes and all really made me insecure about my personality type and whether I should tell someone if I'm an infj or not, and mostly because I don't really feel like bothering to tell someone unless asked. So I'm happy this is cleared, but again, this might not be as accurate for some people and I really think that after taking test just, JUST to make sure people should read about cognitive functions.
It always bothers me to see this statement of being the "rarest male" DX A fun fact, the MBTI is like an INFJ, created and fabricated by known ones too. It has no solid form. Like a deck of cards with no real rules to play from. Most people don't know how to truly wield it. INFJs don't read people by their cards (cognitive functions stack) , they read HOW they play their cards. Nathan here gets the idea with vids explaining how people defy their types. That realization happened very quickly for me, took only days of research and uncovering all the fundamentals, and it naturally got in tune with my Ni-Fe-Ti process. It teached me about weaknesses and strengths of different people including self, and how to improve. That's how to truly play the card game.
All good, I think even INFJ's become confused of their "intentions" and labels because people tend to project so much unto them. Like if they are silent people might say, "oh well they are just shy and needs to learn to speak up or be more assertive", or other feeling types might think, "well this person doesn't even know who they are and are probably fake" and this all makes sense since INFJ's dominant function is NI and then FE (vulnerable to other peoples opinion as opposed to FI who keep to themselves). I have noticed a lot of INFJ's being very confused about their own identity when they start internalizing all that is projected onto them which again can lead to stagnation and somewhat of an aversion to FE I believe.
I have also had this observation. The Fe (vulnerable to other people's feelings) impressions get lost in the cavern of Ni possibilities... I think that's why INFJs are so often passionate about MBTI. It's a system created by an INFJ (Jung) for INFJs... and we use it to triangulate ourselves.
Indeed, sometimes I feel that my Ti is equal with my second Fe in how I use them, which makes people around me think of me as cold. But in their mind, helping others is only valid like the direct approach of an ISFJ "give other people a fish when they are hungry", while as an INFJ I certainly prefer the approach "teach other people to fish". IMO in an ideal world I would not need to help anyone anymore since I thought them how to help themselves.
Yes, the fact people have so many grievances against INFJ's really just show their expectations of us, aka their own selfishness... but alas it is up to us to speak up when those "expectations" are not welcome.
Logically consistent, rational, reasonable, of the emotional types is the least emotional. You are speaking my LANGUAGE. I am all the other stereotypical INFJ things, but those other things are the lesser acknowledged qualities and it’s so nice to have them stated out loud.
Wow, what you said about us having the energy to 'perform' for others is because we KNOW there's a time limit otherwise, if the time is too long, we get easily drained and it shows even if we can't help it.
I'm an orthopedic surgery coder, which seems an odd job for an INFJ at first, but it means I can indirectly support people who are injured or have degenerative issues and surgeons directly helping them. I could NOT handle being around the patients all day every day. Particularly the more traumatic injuries. I haven't entirely figured out how, but I'm rarely affected by the operative notes I read.
I'm an ENTJ with a friend who is INFJ. Both of us love researching psychology; she picked it up first but I've gone past her with my research, but she can apply it so much better than I ever will be able to
Omg I would love to hear more about this friendship!!!!! Do you two drive each other insane? Hahaha. What is each of your biggest frustrations about the other? I''ve only had entj bosses and I don't get along with them but I can totally see a power duo in a friendship or even a relationship setting.
Nice to see another pair of friends that's ENTJ - INFJ 😂 I think, it's a friendship that's really enriching and great, we have just about the best discussions ever on science, the world, people and share many viewpoints, but also differences that help us grow ❤️
I'm an INFJ and this was spot on! I have often been bothered by the stereotype of the super, emotion-laden, empath description of the INFJ that makes the personality sound like some kind of dysfunctional superpowered being. We are just people, and more often then not we come across as just people because we like to be very rational and grounded. Yes we have a compulsion to care about other people and their feelings, but not to an unrealistic degree. As an INFJ I'm usually more concerned with humanity as a whole and the direction it is heading more so than caring deeply about every person I meet. Thank you for this video, you clearly understand the personality very well!
Agreed! Also, Please research 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till. Spread the word!
Nailed it. INFJ Mathematician here, certainly love teaching people math and doing math. It's abstract, creative, and very individual, good quiet time! Also potentially extremely helpful to other humans and that idea of indirect motivation is spot on, gives a more full picture of how INFJs operate as far as I can tell. It's important to recognize that getting something done often requires going outside one's comfort zone, if INFJs just sat around pondering people and doing art all day they'd have frightfully few tools to help others, let alone gain perspectives on how the world works. People are things, they can't be treated as magical meat sacks any more than rocks treated as magical....rocks.
Very insightful. I'm an INFJ (too precious for this world!) and when I'm having a day when being an INFJ is just too hard, I pretend that I'm an ESTP and I just love life and sensory and it's all great man! I wonder if the ESTP is appealing to us because it is all our same functions, but rearranged a bit, so it does not seem too foreign.
INFJ here and I have an alternate persona of an ENTP and it’s so true what you said about us having an alternate persona but only being able to maintain it in short bursts. At school and around people I don’t particularly trust, I act like an ENTP and have done for as long as I remember but I can’t maintain it too long and by the end of the day I’m normally rather exhausted and have to go to bed very early because I can’t handle anything else
I can relate to this, in situations that are both social and either anxiety inducing, threatening, or extremly engaging I tend to act like an ENTP, yet the more I've watched Nathan's clips, believe I'm an INTJ (I've typically been typed as an INTP). My partner described the first 6 months of knowing me as if I was an ENTP, but realised that I display this behaviour in bursts and only under certain conditions.
Heeeeeeyyyyy... So, I know that this is a video of how INFJ's defy their stereotype and even have a point where it mentions how INFJ's aren't as emotional as people thinks, and what am going to say is a pretty emotional thing, buuuut I am going to use the fact that probably many other INFJ's are going to watch this video in my favor to ask for advice. So, this may come from the fact that I am a still kinda young INFJ (16 years) or from the fact that I grew in kind of a chaotic house but when it comes to my feelings I really have no idea on how to deal with them. What usually happens is that something bad happens, I feel hurted, I want to talk about it with someone but I can't because I can not explain to them exactly how I'm feeling (either sad, angry, scared, etc.) so I don't. And during the next days something little may happen, (like spilling juice, or someone hugs me, or I would watch my dog sleeping) and then I have like 20 seconds to run to bathroom and cry a river, then laugh at myself and cry a bit more :v. So, what I wanted to ask is if anyone could please help me with an advice on how to develop Fi...? I would really apreciate it. (Sorry that it was so long)
this problem will never go away fully, at least for most INFJs. however, if you give it time, it'll heal. I myself did something extraordinarily unexpected yesterday, and I'm still pretty upset about it but I know this will pass. if you are an INFJ, it'll pass too. your Ni will get busy again soon.
I'm 46 and this reminds me so much! I guess if I could tell my 16 year old self something about that issue, it'd be to allow myself to have emotions. Me. Not focused on the other person/people and what was said or what they're thinking. You are part if the human pool just like the rest, even tho it doesn't seem like it. Truthfully I still struggle with this, just recently too, but have only been working on it for a couple of years. You have a huge head start! Practice practice practice. And be mindful of it. Say it out loud. Claim it. Maybe that's a good place to start 😊
@@missdenim6590 Thank you very much 💜 (talking about breaking down for no aparent reason I feel like I may start crying right now 😂) I really apreaciate it
Also... I'd like to say, I think we have a really bad habit, even tho it's an honest one, but we run what happened, that made us sad or angry, thru our minds over and over again Trying like crazy to justify our own feelings and emotions about it, to make sure it's legitimate and appropriate. Why do we do this? No one else seems to be. Honestly the more I think about it the more I feel it's a bit cruel to do that to ourselves. I've been doing that over a breakup recently and I know my X isn't doing that for sure, so why do I? Why am I not allowed to just feel? It must first be justified and fair 😐 Maybe that's part of our fi discrepancy. We are trying so hard to run it thru the fair and just filter instead just allowing ourselves to have an initial and genuine emotion about something. Hmmm.... Always trying to make logic of emotions 😂 I swear one day I'll sort it out. I hope you can do it in less time my young friend!
You know the whole "least feeling of the feeling types" is so true. I'm currently in a part in my life where the feeling is not useful to me and I need to straight think and focus. And honestly it doesn't even bother me. I dont miss feeling because I just need to push it aside.
As an INFJ, I often get told that I look like the most normal dude and can easily get along with anybody. But it's an act. I am the weirdest dude on earth. I can go crazy mode at the flip of a switch. Few people get to see that side of me.
A lot of infjs can also identify as what has been scientifically termed as HSP (hyper sensitive person) and is very helpful in understanding the way our "mirror neurons" play such a big role in the Se function. I'd love to see a video/series on this and how it effects other MBTI types as well!
The first point is so spot on Like I'm studying to become a software engineer but my plan is to help people through softwares and technology in future that's what I thought of while choosing this
I absolutely appreciate that you mentioned how INFJs often appear quite stoic and almost unemotional, but with the ability to appear as some other type in bursts. I'm an INFJ and I am known specifically as highly analytical and academic, although the fields I tend to care more about tend to be human related (sociology, political science, geography, and philosophy). But throughout my life I've been called the "human encyclopedia" and I can see how I could appear a bit standoffish or aloof. I often surprise people who don't know me when they see how introverted I actually am, as I can appear very extraverted at times (social situations), but even then a more trained eye would notice the type of interactions I tend towards in social situations are typical of introverts - I feel far more comfortable in small groups, then I need plenty of alone time afterwards. Excellent job of describing what we are really like, instead of the stereotype as this emotional sponge. The one part of the stereotype that is really true is how people never really know the real person inside. While I know my two best friends inside and out (an ENFJ and INFP), neither of them really knows the person underneath even after 11 years of friendship and even living together for 4 years. Quite frankly, both of them are quite selfish in caring about their own projects and needs, while caring little about mine or at least forgetting to consider my emotional and career needs, and the fundamental need to feel understood. There are only 3 people who really truly know the person underneath, 2 of whom are ENFPs (my sister is one of them) and the other an INFJ herself (a once-close friend who betrayed me in a huge way and I cut her out even as I forgive her).
Concerning the "Energetic Persona" situation. Basically what you're saying is that they can act like a Se-Focused Person in short bursts. I think that most, if not all, Persons with a well matured inferior Function are capable of something similar, coming across as someone with the hero of their inferior Function for short periodes. I for my part, as an INTP, think that I can, in the right situation, give a damn good Fe Hero impression. Although maybe that's just wishful thinking. The capabilities are, however, limited. It's, as you say, an act, and on occasion something unexpected happens, which I'm not familiar with, and the impression breaks down.
Totally agree. A mature person should be able to perform in their inferior function although for short periods of times. And yes, INTPs can be very Fe warm sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot about the "stereotype" that we can come across as controlling or manipulative, and in turn why it bothers us to be called that. It seems to me that INFJs don't like controlling people, we just want to influence them into being in control of themselves, into being the best version of themselves. This can easily come across as control or manipulation from the outside perspective, especially because we can be so terrible at just stating what our needs are
That Ti is one of my favorite things about INFJs. They actually (gasp) *admit when they're wrong* (at least the ones in my life have). So sad that so many people can't do this, but so refreshing when things go so smoothly. Just because I'm good at proving you wrong and pointing out your ignorance doesn't mean I like to or want to have to. INFJs' reasoning process is similar enough to mine that they follow my logic and realize they were wrong so much quicker than other types (Ni probably helps there too, but I know it's not only Ni. It takes far more debating with an INTJ to get them to admit it). Or maybe they've just made the Fe calculation that it's in their best interest to fold early and not risk damaging the relationship. But either way, my god, it's so nice to need only give such little explanation before they catch on, recognize the mistake, and not only quickly admit it so we can move on with our lives, but actually do so in a way that totally de-escalates the situation and dissolves conflict. They find a way to admit fault in a funny, self-deprecating way that actually endears them to you. When I debate some other types, I end up hurting their feelings with mean comments while feeling like banging my head against a wall, or they get unnecessarily defensive and drag it out for hours while I repeat myself. But with an INFJ, I disagree and start to debate and, within a few minutes, end up walking away smiling and laughing while shaking my head. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how nice this is? If you've grown up with this being "normal," maybe you don't know how lucky you are. Don't take it for granted!
@H J Close! INTP, with a fair degree of certainty -- as much as Ne will allow. After rereading that, I can see how it sounds very ENTP‐ish, and perhaps a bit overly confrontational.
We defer to the Ti master and just offer some Fe insights if we’ve got ‘em. It’s usually just delightful to hear a nascent idea or argument fleshed out, very satisfying. Probably why your INFJs yield so quickly. Out of respect.
@@lloydtxw It's possible, but he will stand his ground longer the more he believes he is correct (or maybe I'm just not making a convincing argument in those cases). It's also possible he has learned from years of experience with me that when I invest in, and insist upon, arguing, it means I know what I'm talking about. If something doesn't sound right, but I can't be certain, I have to run off and do more research to be sure before I make any bold assertions. I just never want to be placated. My goal is always to have the other person genuinely understand my point (to the extent that if I had to choose between having someone agree with me or understand me, I would choose understanding). That's why I appreciate the INFJ's reaction so much. They don't just say "Okay, you're right" to get me to shut up without even understanding my argument. Their Ti is strong enough to follow along and see my point, but not so strong that they go overboard with arrogance in INTP fashion. It's a nice balance between Ti & Fe. Another thought that just occurred to me is I wonder if Te being the Point of Least Resistance for the INFJ could be related to "quick yielding," because I have noticed that once I get to the point where I show him evidence (in the form of credible sources or academic consensus, not so much directly observable physical evidence), he tends to buckle. But the thing is, I know that Ti is perfectly capable of reasoning through whether an argument employs sound reasoning and makes sense to the individual, completely irrespective of whether there's any Te kind of consensus... and I usually don't reference any kind of credentialism... So maybe it's unrelated to Te. It was just a thought.
@H J That sounds very consistent with my understanding of tertiary Ti. I'm sorry for your experience with the INTP in your life. Young/immature INTPs can be a pain in the ass, probably to any type lol. They can (perhaps hypocritically) have a lot of difficulty admitting when they are wrong. In these situations, their reaction may seem arrogant, but I can assure you they are dying of embarrassment on the inside. It's just such a blow to their Ti they don't know how to handle it. It's not until they start to recognize the value of Fe and learn to tone down their Ti that they become more tolerable. Sometimes this happens sooner for females, as they tend to feel more societal pressure to develop Fe. I honestly believe having an INFJ as a role model could really help though. I often read comments from young, immature INTPs online and just shake my head, knowing that I used to be like that. Not every mistake has to be pointed out, sometimes you have to choose your battles and learn when raw honesty must take a backseat. I try to "lead from behind" by setting an example that admitting to errors should be quick and easy and deal no blow to your ego. But it seems most Te/Fi types have to list a bunch of reasons why they thought that in an unsolicited defense, as if they anticipate being shamed. So you just have to positively reinforce honesty over rightness (assuming that's what you want from people in your life). Anyway, I can tell I'm starting to ramble, so I'll conclude this by saying I hope you meet some mature INTPs in the future who represent the type's potential better.
There is beauty AND power in background roles, and often lets you escape the scrutiny, overly high expectations and lack of privacy that “glamorous” roles often entail. I think it is important to remember that roles in the spotlight are often very burdensome and only certain people would thrive and be happy by making the tremendous sacrifices necessary to maintain them, regardless of talent in the actual medium.
thank you!! finally someone telling the truth about our emotional side, my friends always describe me as detached and unemotional even though I'm an infj
As an infj, I can definitely say I'm not very emotional. I think fi people are a lot more likely to be "emotional" than an fe type because fe is more about other peoples emotions and fi is about your own values and emotions, at least that's how I understand it. And fe people are less likely to be in tune to their own emotions and have more focus on others'. I also think the more introverted an infj is, the less emotional they are because their introverted functions are both very analytical and logical... well ni to me is logical but to others it makes no sense. I personally am extremely introverted.
The Derren Brown comment was very insightful. I recognize that I usually present myself publicly as the opposite of the INFJ that I am. Then I have to go home and have a rest :)
Excellent video. As and INFJ female, when I type others and re-confirmed myself (which is like a relentless monthly thing), I remember those moments of me "acting" like another type dilerabately, for the sake of harmony, which in turn is for the sake of me. It's what made it hard to type myself in the first place. ahahahah. I told my fiance, "one of us is a chameleon and I can't tell who it is!" (he's an INTJ) and proceeds to point at me. ahahah
Most accurate INFJ video I have seen. Although answering these aspects in MBTI tests will just give you INTJ. I get INTJ all the time, I think because I answer the non-emotional, non-interacting with people aspects. Although I am pretty sure I am not a strong Te user, I struggle a lot with quick decision-making. Plus I have an INTJ friend and our thinking processes are quite different even though we share a lot of perspectives.
Yup! Wanna help out humanity, but don’t want to interact much. Part of my struggle as an actual therapist type. Also, I think highly emotional internally and privately, but seldom around others. We sorta need to shut out the universe to get in touch with our own feelings, since we spend many days managing sensory overload.
You made so many great points here. We are sponges, so we are very careful with our energy and others. Anyone who thinks an INFJ is not good with people either doesn’t know them well or plays to something far more superficial. As an INFJ, 9 out of 10 times, I know the why behind the why. It's a vibe. Yup, I loved this video!
I am impressed with these insights - very impressed, actually - you are completely right. I am INFJ yet highly accomplished and successful in a complex technical field which requires extensive training, education, knowledge and good judgement. However, I also studied music and sociology just based on my interests and natural gravity (you know, for fun). And let’s not even get started on my hobbies. In my career, I’ve founded and led impactful engagement groups at major companies and a graduate student organization at a research university. Somehow all of these things come together naturally for me. I can set a vision encompassing both the technical and human aspects with the aim of making a large-scale positive impact and needed on the world. That’s the driver (you got that right). I then build a technical organization, processes and relationships to do it. I also end up spontaneously picking up people who ask me to mentor them (although they are quite accomplished themselves). But...yes, I struggle with empathy for every creature, something I do not see hindering or influencing most of my colleagues. I also beat myself up b/c I expect too much from myself (perfection, in fact). Overall though, you completely nailed this one - good job! I was happy to see this one.
Mature INFJs are fascinating. At their best, they produce profound healing and insights in people they come in contact with, or produce such masterpieces as writings of Wittgenstein, Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment", Zvyagintsev's "The Return". At their worst, they become empty inside, narcissistic, profoundly effective manipulators bringing about deep-rooted chaos around them. I've seen both up close. Pray, remember you're not God, do good and for goodness sake don't shut off that Fe, don't fall into Ni-Ti loop: even though it may hurt and be uncomfortable to have your intricate ideas and plans challenged by the messy, ever-changing reality, learn to trust and let go of control, engage with people, whatever their social status, age, education or level of spiritual maturity. My heart goes out to you all. God bless you.
I often get accused of being too worried about peoples feeling, of caring too much. It always sits uncomfortably with me because I feel next to no emotional attachment to most people in my life. As you say, I am detached. It is just logical to move forward in a way that takes people feeling and attitudes into account because they will have a huge impact on how anything involving people plays out. I'm trying to save everyone a lot of time and drama by pointing out the most constructive path forward. If you protect peoples feelings along the way that is nice, but one thing you don't get to do is just decide they are not a factor. If it is someone you need to maintain a relationship with then you can plan to look out for their emotions ahead of time, or (much harder/more work) deal with the consequences of neglecting them later, they are the only two options.
Goodness! Your comments on emotions is spot on. Only a couple years ago I had to explain to my oldest friend that just because I didn't show emotions like she did, it didn't mean that I was cold. She thought I didn't even care that my dad had died.
Question/observation: as an INFJ, I’ve noticed that my ability to “be the peacemaker” or to “put on personas” is another way of reflecting what people either want or expect to see in me. In other words, I can be a mirror to people. Anybody else know what I’m talking about?
INFj Television Editor Best job ever Work with a small group for a short time, then I get to be by myself and create a show using not just creativity, but also my technical side
Exactly! Just because I understand the people and their emotions doesn’t mean I want to deal with them constantly. Sometimes I notice myself shutting off and becoming very analytical because I’m just too stinking tired of *feeling* all day long.
I haven’t noticed this until recently but I’m not really emotional. Of course there are some situations where I would be, but in every day life my emotions usually run on a straight line of contentment. Though even if I do feel emotions you would most likely never be able to tell on my face unless I was crying, or if you knew me well. It’s crazy how different people function.
I work with the dying dementia diagnosed and I rarely cry. I'm fairly detached/observational. I do the right things, sometimes even to my own sacrifice. Though I may not directly feel, I do thoughtful actions. To me, that is more true to the definition of love. And not needing constant accolades and to be remembered for what I do. I also tend to advocate for the less loved people, resident or co-worker. If I really lean into being present with someone's experience by considering their perspective, I will feel my heart swell and find these strange raindrops on my countenance. The other week I asked a nonverbal resident, who was close to dying, "The human experience is very hard sometimes, huh?" She nodded. I said, "You are loved and you matter" and a smile finally broke through for awhile. 💔💗
And I agree that INFJs can come across as very aloof/cold- I would not consider myself the most empathetic person to be honest, however it is a great skill to develop.
The 'mystic' notion is due to us consistently being the observer, reading the patterns, underlying issues or problems, likely outcomes, etc and then suddenly we come out of seemingly nowhere to say something that seems random on the surface, but has taken a lot of deliberation in reality. Thank you for pointing out our analytical side, and the fact that we are able to rationalize and "check" our emotions. My emotions might be triggered by something random like an animal cruelty video, but I rarely cry in front of other people unless I am frustrated or angry. I usually withhold my emotions in order to give someone else the space to process their own. The empathetic quality isn't usually conscious, and sometimes, if I am not aware of it, I wear other's emotions for far too long. It is important to do a 'self-check' and ask yourself if what you are feeling is true to you, or is simply Fe. I agree that we can take on energies, but it can be exhausting. Sometimes, it can take me days to "recalibrate" after 'putting-on' another persona. It isn't done maliciously for the most part, though it can be in some cases as a way to manipulate; it is usually to give another person a good experience and is typically temporary. This was a great video, Nathan. Thank you.
Omg I think that you have covered almost all the bases for my "insecurities" about even admitting to being an infj. Harharhar yes I am aware of not being completely aware of my emotions and yet I would say I am "emotionally minded" which people constantly mistake for emotions themselves Thank you also for the implication of moderate normality. Errgh I think that I will actually decide to subscribe now. You have succeeded at emotional manipulation through logical understanding, I feel understood in this one split second, not that it matters
As an INFJ I have to completely agree. I felt very called out by the peacemaker bit, it gets in trouble literally all the time. Advice for my fellow infjs cuz we never listen to our own, only others: Listen to yourself when you think you might be in over your head. Don't keep trying to be harmonic. The break isn't worth it.
I watched a video by 'Frank James' here on RUclips and I think he has a really good explanation on this. Basically, this (listening to others instead of listening to ourselves) happens when we disregard the third function 'Ti' which occurs easily because it is our third function hence not the strongest.
I know these are old but I'd like to add my 2 cents. Great analysis of us. Compelled to help people and put them out of their misery, but the frustration people cause you is immense. People need problems, and do not want a solution to anything. I want to work with them, but the majority I can't, because they say they want help but they are fooling themselves. So much time and energy I have dedicated to helping people see the error of their ways, only for it to be not taken and under appreciated. I love science, so helping people indirectly sounds much more appealing and advantageous. Good science, however, rarely reaches people, only sensationalist crap, which further damages the people I want to help. Writing is another avenue in which to reach them, that I also love. I can't explain how much it bothers me to see people suffer, and for them to continue to chose a life of suffering over trying. We are all so self destructive. It's a disease in itself. Great content, and glad I found your channel.
2:14 I find our "psychic" skills come from processing the information we've already learned (through various means) multiple times, and then adding that data back into previous situations to capture missing details. This is then held against data learned in future situations.
The architect example was pretty spot on, Nathan. Some architects do view architecture as a tool to improve the environment and user's quality of life. They like their job because it can influence the world to be better in more subtle but concrete way. I think being an infj as an architect is worderful skill to understand the user's needs better to then guide them to the best choice.
I’ve been uncertain about if I am an infj or not. And for some reason felt very at home in the Intp videos and lots of others too. But what confuses me more is if that’s an infj thing to do? Because I feel like it is, but when I come back to infj videos I feel somehow out of place. And I know that could be because if I am an infj, I would break a few stereotypes that I feel really give an infj shape in my eyes. I’m kind of scared that it’ll be something really left field like Istj but now that I think about it I haven’t really looked into istjs all that much. This is way longer than I had planned but I just kept thinking. I’m pretty sure I’m not an Estp or the intp, because people like that make me feel exhausted, but I like interesting conversations with people I like. But all of these things make me think more that I might be an infj, except...
i would never call myself a mystic but i have seen snippits of the future since i was a kid, like all my kids before they were born, my husband 19 years before i met him. i have seen myself in space in my mid life so im looking forward to that
It's so satisfying to hear you talk . It's always so logically intentional and consistent. My own interpretation of how and why we can naturally outwordly craft momentary personas is because: the more you develop your Ti (wich comes from a place where we genuinely value it), it brings this interrogative nature to Fe in an integrated axis to a point where, combined with Ni, it turns to be almost like either a hobby or an easier way to be out there. Explaining this, we have one type of situation that ramificates into another one, the first in wich is consciously intentional; thought of, that plays of if for example I'm helping someone out and I not necessarly craft a persona but more a mode, in wich I carefully yet in a fast inner pace process and pre project the way I will say the next thing. The other branch is in a more instictive way, where I get so captivated by someone else that I start to emanate their own energy by the amalgamation of what I think is the Ni-Fe, that makes the talking more fluent, and Ni-Ti, that plays out with this external simulation out of pure wonder and awesomeness. It's like getting in the skin of your own scientific experience and momentarily being it. The second type of simulation and mirroring is where I simply wan't to avoid awkwardness, lol. When that happens, I also often can still be introverted and not wholy be out there, while still in physical presence of someone I'm not intimate enough to not mind being in their presence while not saying anything. Conclusion is, these simulations and adaptations of ourselves come from these extroverted personas we craft and our internal analyzes that provides it consistency and intention, that, summarizing, we can turn on to what serves to end up us having an amusing time or to make being out there easier. Wich may actually be the same thing in different conotations.
Ok, so just a little while ago, I asked my INTJ son if he’s excited he gets to start back to work tomorrow. He looked shocked and responded, “how did you know that!?” I was all, I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure you told me you were starting back. He’s looking extra freaked out by this time, “no mom, I only got a text from my boss an hour ago and I haven’t told anyone.” He and I hadn’t spoken, within that hour. It also happened years ago with a dream about my aunt. It’s just way too freaky sometimes. I always feel like I was told these knowings I have. So sometimes I just “read minds” by accident and it freaks ppl out. And it freaks me out too!
Loved your description very much! Funny, that im iINFJ, being an architect-student, and the thing you said about caring what impact the things/architecture will have on people in the future I sooo true, can't be more true! At the same time it seems to me, that the Infj-type is more likely to suffer from its inner issues and perhaps lots of infjs need some psychology therapy. They just want to give too much for this world, for people around, they try to carry the problems of everyone on their shoulders, forgetting about themselves. Well, I might have said a sad thing, but on my experience, it is what it is. Love your channel btw!
I am an input machine. I love collecting perspectives and either honing down on an amalgam of my own creation or holding two seemingly opposing perspectives of truth in each hand. I am obsessed with truth and absurdly honest. I have million little facets of myself I'm aware of yet I am very compartmentalized. This, I think, lends to me being very difficult to know. I may appear mediocore on the outside, and maybe sometimes I truly am just another human, but I know I have worlds inside. I wish I could share my very visceral dream life with another.
INFJs in summary: like emotionally acrobatic yodas coming to life for a brief period before retreating back to their introverted lairs. Me an INFJ : Nathan you nailed it.
I’m very grateful for the masquerade thing you bring up at the end. I often feel like I don’t know who I am or that I have personality crises because my brain is so fluid as an INFJ. Thanks for this!
Loved this video. One of the most honest INFJ videos yet, and also a topic I've been meaning to discuss on RUclips myself. The stereotypes that are to be contended with in typology discussions, or when I read other people's opinions when they are trying to type (or re-type) an INFJ, are almost nonsensical. Why people think having Fe makes me an emotional or feelings-driven puddle of irrationality is beyond me. It really goes to show how difficult it can be for most to identify an INFJ. Perhaps it most often takes one to know one? Understandable, the confusion, but also a slight bit irritating at times. Anyways, thank you for the video.
Finally!! Accurate INFJ stereotype defiances. As one (..an INFJ, not a defiance. Although, that too) - I find this highly highly accurate. (And, I also think Derren Brown is an INFJ - a great example of all things Ni+Ti plus that weird acting thing we do.)
wow I really agree with these points, especially the part about being less emotional than expected! Honestly, sometimes I'm taken aback just how apathic I can be with my own emotions, but I think it's to balance out the many strong emotions I take in from, for and with other people. On the point of emulating personas/people: I've been wondering if I'm the only one who sometimes mimics the expressions of actors when watching movies.. I also catch myself closly analysing the reactions of people in real life sometimes like I'm some sort of AI..
Infj here! I totally agree with the being „non-emotional“. People that Ive been friends with for 10+ years, say things like “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before” and that’s true because I don’t really show emotions to other people, but I cry over basically everything and nothing when I’m alone, on a daily basis lmao
Wow. Same.
Same.
Same here, emphasis on 'daily basis' for me.
🖤
agreed!
"So an INFJ can be focused on humanity and helping people, without actually having to interact with that many actual people"
That's my plan, thanks for making me not feel alone
Right?! I need to write this down and take it to my college advisor and say "what can we do with this?" Lol
Same same, so ... I'd like to be im R&D 😂
While I satisfy my curiosity on the topics I love ("Artificial Intelligence" and Machine Learning), I can causally still satisfy the need to do something "for others", even though most of that is already happening by me helping out friends with problems everyday 😅😂
@@Toranghu Really? I'm also planning to pioneer in the field of artificial intelligence, didn't except to find an INFJ who's also into that, nice!
nice pfp
I'm an INFJ/ISFJ (the intuition vs sensing is almost 50/50) and I'm a custodian. I really love it because I hardly have to interact with people. It's just me and my work. But I'm helping people by cleaning my floor so the kids and teachers have hood learning environment
Indeed. Infjs make great actors.
I agree! It’s something I’ve noticed for a long time about them ~ Nathan
I'd definitely say I have at least some natural talent for acting and mimicking. I think it has something to do with the whole chameleon thing. Observing others, picking up on their patterns and then being able to bring out whatever I have in me that fits that character/person. And of course being able to pretend completely as well for the rest. I've been complimented on my acting before as well (I'm definitely not an actor or anything, I just get comments on it when I'm goofing around a bit and during two obligatory "acting" classes that I had)
Do other INFJs pick up accents easily?
Within 2 mins I picked up a slight New Zealand accent at a party. I was asked where in NZ I came from, by a New Zealander. I'm from South London.
I was so embarrassed. I had to explain I just pick up accents without conscious thought.
I hate doing that.
@@AriesJedi oh yes I definitely do. I've always been quite good at mimicking and adapting accents- even when only heard a single time before
@@mariannek6735 yes, it's weird lol. I've always been into acting
As an INFJ, I always say I love humanity but dislike people. Helping humanity from a distance helps me to feel less drained and overwhelmed. This video earned my subscription!
Agreed!
Also, Please research 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till.
Spread the word!
YEESSSSS FROM A DISTANCE 😭😅 I even say that all the time, I care about you from a distance 🥺 it sometimes makes me feel like such a jerk and not a real friend.
But behind the scenes sometimes I “plan” for example for people to meet or even talk very good about someone in front of their crush or boss so they indirectly get good things their way.
Sigh I hate I cannot help a lot sometimes 😔
Here is a quote by dostojewski in "Brothers Karamazov" I related to.
“I love humanity,” he said, “but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people, if it were somehow suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours, I begin to hate the best of men; one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me.”
"A performance that has a time limit on it, where they have to retreat back to their introverted lair." Exactly! Thank you for expressing this perfectly Nathan!❤️ I am Yoda. -INFJ 🤣
100% relate. It happens again and again to me. I get a fancy job im not really suited for, (i kill it in the interview) im the dream star employee for about 18 wks. Till it slowly crushes me and i dont have the energy anymore to mirror exactly what they are looking for anymore. Still seeking the right career..... why cant i be paid to read books, snuggle my cat and drink cups of tea??
@@marianney7644 I completely relate to all of the things you just said haha. Thank you for putting my experience into words.
@@marianney7644 Might just have to do that in a youtube channel and mae it your own niche!
@@marianney7644 YOOOOO THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AT MY LAST JOB - finding something like doing deliveries really helped me just fyi because there's time to sit by yourself for periods of time
One of my best friends (in fact, one of my very few friends) is an INFJ and quite often when we discuss topics, we end up with:
'as always, it is the same, but different for each of us'. The quoted friend seems so cold and rational at times that for a while I was wondering she might have been an INTJ as well. Only when I started looking into cognitive functions (rather than a brief 4 letter standards and stereotypes) I realised the difference between us and the source of it.
I find INFJs extremely insightful, nearly 'psychic' in fact, when it comes to analysis and understanding of other humans psyche.
I sometimes literally ask the bespoke friend: 'how would you handle such a being?' and rather than getting a 'manual' I hear elaboration on what the being might have been through. The accuracy of analysis is literally freaking.
I once suggested 'I think you would be a great therapist'. The answer surprised me a bit: 'I would have no patience. Most people just come to whine about their problems. If the patients were like you - admitting to have a problem and seeking a solution - yes. Otherwise, no: people drain me too much'.
INFJs -I think you are brilliant.
That's exactly how I feel "most people don't actually take my advice so being a therapist would be too draining"
your friend is such a big mood. I relate to her in every single way. Except for the fact that I usually hide the "cold" and being rational often.
yep, people keep suggesting i get into psychology-therapy
As much as i think i might fit or even like it, i just don't see it as something i want to do
Yes! As an INFJ I often find myself in a therapist role which leads me to think I might make a good therapist but if I think about actually doing that job I think I would go more crazy than I already am.
That's why I pursued Physics and engineering instead. I'm good at understanding people and where they may be coming from, but it's draining to try to therapize, would rather help where people are ready for the right information at the right time, so I studied Physics to just broaden my understanding around things to hopefully later connect the right understanding of things with the right people later. Not sure it's working, but I think that's a summation of my motivation behind the things I've often chosen to do.
"INFJs are emotional", "I see, you have not been doorslammed before"
Currently I’m like one of those movie villains who has their fingers in the door whilst the person on the other side is desperately slamming... ~ Nathan
@@lovewho must hurt
@@lovewho you seem really determined to block that door from closing
@@lovewho As a child I doorslammed myself accidently while holding the door open by the hinge and your comment gave me a visceral reaction. I will never see an infj doorslam comment the same way. While I'm here I just want to thank you for your content which is always enjoyable and often illuminating (and which I finally liked and subscribed to, sorry!!) and for luring me out of the shadows. Anyway back to the shadows...
@@lovewho no INFJ would slam their door on you. I wouldn't 😊
"So an INFJ can be focused on humanity and helping people, without actually having to interact with that many actual people".
I so agree with this. While Fe-doms seem to need to be around people to live their lives normally, I don't think I don't need to be around people at all when crafting my masterplan/my projects. However, my work needs to be affecting people directly otherwise I won't have any motivation and I don't feel like I'm utilizing my Fe skills to its fullest capability with my current work. Unfortunately, I can't speak for other INFJs, because I don't if that's just me or not.
I can completely relate to this. Sometimes I have confused other people because while I care very deeply about other people, I don't like being around them at all. I'd much rather be working in the background, helping humanity.
Excellent video as always! My father's an INFJ and while he's extremely empathetic, he is also extremely impersonal at times. In fact, the way he analyses my report cards makes me think he's an INTJ who was misdiagnosed but then there's a bowl of ice-cream given to me at the end of it, which reaffirms his INFJ-ness XD.
“INFJ-ness” LOLs 😂- I love that!
That's so sweet!!!
I think infj's can naturally get people back on track. Then just fade out of the scene without a hint of what they did..
don't want to take credit but the ability to help realign and emotionally regulate ppl is real
Shout out to all my Type 5 INFJ brothers/sisters out there defying the stereotypes.
Please stop shouting.
I've been spotted 😳
hello there 👋
@@arcadianfox8127 LMAO that got me
🥑💪
INFJ engineer checking in, we do exist! Having an diplomatic engineer is the room can pay off sometimes
INFJ almost done with my undergraduate engineering degree! I only want to rip out my hair 96% of the time!
Same!
Diplomatic engineer! Love it. Totally relate to that phrase from my IT BA days.
I have been wanting to get into engineering and mathematics when i get into college -infj
I had to click because you looked too funny as a unicorn.
I’m going to dress up as one for the entire day just to honour this thumbnail ~ Nathan
@@lovewho YES.
@@lovewho Do you actually have a unicorn uniform or did you innovate a DIY look? 🙃
I really appreciate you putting the Ni/Ti combo in a more positive light. Too often it is portrayed as a trap of despair for INFJs.
One of the 4 natural subtypes of the INFJ is NiTi. Nothing pathological or "loopy" about it, contrary to popular MBTI misconception.
Yeah I think infj can get in a loop with NiTi, but NiTi is not a loop
I live my life in the Ni/Ti loop... when I have a date or need to teach, I can feel myself pulling out of it, putting on my Fe/Se persona.... but it gets tired quickly.
Yes, we tend to get lost in other people's feelings thanks to our repressed 6th slot Fi.
Though I may not speak for every INFJ. When we truly improvise, it doesn't really goes as planned. But rather, we take advantages of the circumstances and "somehow" managed it.
Well said, also I didn’t think of it as ‘repressing their 6th slow Fi’ but that makes perfect sense ~ Nathan
EXAACTLYYY
Let me make a 2nd comment.
INFJs are called "impractical" or too idealistic. But, I think it's misunderstood-- even by INFJs themselves.
When something catches an INFJ's attention, they would like to understand them comprehensively.
And that could lead to misconceptions of a lot of things thanks to the little connections they have in between the different subjects/fields.
It would be like uhh.. Making business deals like you're interrogating a criminal.
Or a biologist taking on zoology.
Maybe, a pianist attempting in learning the guitar.
They do have connections. But they're not enough to make it valid. And so, INFJs may use the same exact methods they use on something that could be entirely different.
INFJs can be practical thanks to their spontaneous interests. It can be capricious but in a more organized way.
INFJ's judge everything in the external world with Fe and thus without any Te (because it's the point of least resistance - weakest function), so they have a lack of rational external judgement.
@@PowerRedBullTypology I looked up the definition of Te for double-checking. And I now realize why I'm forgetful when it comes to math.
INFJs much prefer to analyze something thoroughly rather than picking the most effective approach because that's inconsiderate (at least imo).
We shouldn't say that INFJs are incapable of Te. But I feel like Ni clashes with Te heavily. More so than Si for INFJs.
INFJ software developer here. I rely on the Ni-Ti combo a lot. Fe is kept on standby for navigating team disagreements.
Love it!
Hahaha going into a similar direction with my focus on machine learning and natural language processing 😁
I super like it, because... no humans, no emotions and finally silence and peace. I take care of my friends' emotional and life problems though. So basically in private more of the "typical" (I do believe however that we are all different anyways) INFJ.
Me too, it's been a great profession for me
Interesting.
My INFJ brother-in-law is a classics professor. He gets along well with almost everyone, but does come across as being a bit detatched.
Sounds familiar :)
When I was a bit younger, I thought there must be something wrong with me due to my persistent habit of detaching emotionally. I would seriously find myself googling it to try to diagnose myself 😂 Interesting how similar people of a type can be, even when considering how very different their lives have been.
Thanks for sharing.
I think that detachment comes from being inauthentic and putting on an act, but it's hard to be authentic around people we think may judge us in a negative way. I could be completely wrong though, thoughts?
@@adammason6945That is perhaps the case sometimes, for some INFJs, as I cannot speak for everyone, but remember that INFJs do also have introverted thinking, which, along with introverted intuition, can make them analytical or emotionally detached at times. This is especially the case for those INFJs who have a well-developed Ti.
This can make them appear as thinkers and can actually be quite a bonus. If I were buried in my extraverted feeling all the time, I would come to many illogical conclusions or do many things simply based on trying to make people "feel good". Or I would be so focused on helping others that I would never be able to accomplish anything for myself outside the realm of being there for other people. I'd rather be balanced and dissociated than run that road. My mom is an INFJ who took the Extraverted feeling path for so many years that her entire life has essentially been lived for others, which is great if that's the only thing that makes you happy, but she also put off any of her own goals for them so that THEY would be happy. I have watched her constantly get stepped on and taken advantage of along the way because of this.
I feel that Ni-Ti's ability to dissociate me from Fe and allow me to compare feeling to logic actually may allow me to be much more authentic in my opinions and decision-making. And allows me to remember that I matter in my endeavours, too.
I hope this makes sense to you. I didn't mean for it to run so long, but it did. What do you do 🤷♀️
@@jenluckhardt6302 as infj my self i think we are doing something unnecessary
I'm an INFJ and my gf is an ENTP,, yesterday she literally had to tell me that I shouldnt feel bad about talking about what I like, or doing things I like, because usually I only consider her feelings and needs rather than my own 😂
I wish you the best of luck in that relationship. Communication is key. I did not have good luck in a relationship with an ENTP.
@@grayolsen8769 HAHAHA yeah ENTPs are certainly interesting! We have pretty good communication and talk out all of our troubles! Although, debating can sure as hell be spicy😂
Ay hi fellow infj army
She is right, you need to focus on yourself 80% at least (for INFJs) it will seem like an impossible task at first especially in a relationship
@@bedynamic8038 HELLO!!!!
I’m an INFJ electrician - I’m actually pretty darn good at it. Not the greatest at troubleshooting yet, but my brain is very good at drawing out the whole electrical system I’m working on, which is inside walls and basically invisible.
It’s really good for me - I find working on these real world systems balances me out a lot
Sometimes it can be hard to be so empathetic. I rarely watch the news and can’t watch horror or sad movies because all the emotions are overwhelming for me.. I kind of have this inner conflict because I really want to help people but at the same time.. always feeling other people’s emotions can be stressful and hard to process
I also don't watch those things... and wonder if I'm being irresponsible (about the news anyway). It's not worth it, though.
Trigger warning: No one asked, I'm talking about myself liking horror lol
I also don't watch the news but I have a particular attachment to horror... is not something that I like to watch ON A DAILY BASIS OFC... lol, that'll be to much, but I like the comforting horror type? Like nana, omori, girl from nowhere LUV IT, it's weird because horror it's like my passion even like for fun I like scary spooky monsters for some reason lol... I love how horror can portray society problems and a lot of variety of problems into a symbolic representation, I would love as an Infj to share my inner world and ideas as a comic or horror game one day ngl
Are you me?😭
"INFJs are much more in tune to the emotions of others in their life than their own." So, so true.
I'm known in my social circle for being : Sarcastic, not emotional and smart .. n I've been asked befor if I ever cry ! .. if I'll tell someone that I cry while watching movies or just cuz of stories I make in my mind they'll think I'm just being silly !
Also I'm a science student .. still love psychology tho
Omg I’m EXACTLY the same. It’s scary.
@@JJ-ii6nn you're more than likely not an INFJ. You're most likely a r-tarded ESFJ (or ESTJ).
Those types are the bane of humanity, and are notorious for compulsive-manipulation and lying.
"Stories I make up in my mind..." Aww! You too?
You are 100 percent spot on about the INFJ and chameleon persona. We understand people on a deep level, usually picking up cues of body language and speech so most of the time, I can mirror back what I think they might need or want (empathy). Speaking for myself, I don't go chameleon to manipulate anyone (it goes against my principles) but I do it to connect with that person and to put them at ease in any situation. I genuinely like and care about people.
One stereotype of INFJs is that we shy away from confrontation. This is very untrue. Yes, we do love harmony and we seek peace in a group setting HOWEVER if a value (like respect, compassion, fairness) is violated or threatened, we can be very assertive and direct. You'll see the warrior come out...and because of Ni and Ti, we can be as blunt as any Thinker.
Wonderfully explained; these are stereotype-breakers that can often make INFJs wonder if they're mistyped; for the longest time, that was me. Excellent video as always.
Agreed!
Let me make a 2nd comment.
INFJs are called "impractical" or too idealistic. But, I think it's misunderstood-- even by INFJs themselves.
When something catches an INFJ's attention, they would like to understand them comprehensively.
And that could lead to misconceptions of a lot of things thanks to the little connections they have in between the different subjects/fields.
It would be like uhh.. Making business deals like you're interrogating a criminal.
Or a biologist taking on zoology.
Maybe, a pianist attempting in learning the guitar.
They do have connections. But they're not enough to make it valid. And so, INFJs may use the same exact methods they use on something that could be entirely different.
INFJs can be practical thanks to their spontaneous interests. It can be capricious but in a more organized way.
YESSS thank you for saying this! As an INFJ I relate to this soo much but I just don't knowhow to explain it because I just think that people won't think it makes sense
I would have to say that one stereotype that INFJs defy is that although they may be the rarest, they don't feel like the rarest (both by the INFJs themselves and by others who see them). Their Fe makes them want to influence people (which can be for good or bad), so in trying to influence other people, they always try to find commonalities with everyone. And because they're always thinking of what they have in common with other people, they feel like they're not that different from other types of people. And whatever mysteries of the universe they've discovered with their Ni, the moment they meet their friends and think "Should I talk about the mysteries of the universe that I've just discovered?", their Fe says, "Naah..!!" and their Ni agrees, "Yeah, what's the point of telling them? What would change?" So others might view INFJs as nothing out of the ordinary.
The feeling-the-rarest award would go to INFPs. They feel like the rarest type because they are in fact the quirkiest. Their secondary Ne (which is the cause of their creativity) supports their main function Fi (which puts the spotlight on their personality). Together, these two functions create the most unique of personalities. And since INFPs have Fi instead of Fe, they don't cater their communication to people and instead feel the need to always be true to themselves in any situation, with just about everyone. So, not only are they weird, but they show their weirdness to everyone making them seem like a unicorn to themselves and to everyone else.
I agree about this like-
Most people (infjs) who talk out about feeling rarest and loneliest might actually be infps, because most of the time I feel almost the same as any normal human being or I'm coming up with conclusions why I am normal, but then I look at the cognitive functions and how they work for INFJ and it's really accurate so I just kind of felt.... Idk how I felt. But the stereotypes and all really made me insecure about my personality type and whether I should tell someone if I'm an infj or not, and mostly because I don't really feel like bothering to tell someone unless asked.
So I'm happy this is cleared, but again, this might not be as accurate for some people and I really think that after taking test just, JUST to make sure people should read about cognitive functions.
The INFJ male is the rarest male. INFJ females are only the 3rd rarest, depending upon your source.
It always bothers me to see this statement of being the "rarest male" DX
A fun fact, the MBTI is like an INFJ, created and fabricated by known ones too. It has no solid form. Like a deck of cards with no real rules to play from. Most people don't know how to truly wield it. INFJs don't read people by their cards (cognitive functions stack) , they read HOW they play their cards. Nathan here gets the idea with vids explaining how people defy their types.
That realization happened very quickly for me, took only days of research and uncovering all the fundamentals, and it naturally got in tune with my Ni-Fe-Ti process. It teached me about weaknesses and strengths of different people including self, and how to improve. That's how to truly play the card game.
All good, I think even INFJ's become confused of their "intentions" and labels because people tend to project so much unto them. Like if they are silent people might say, "oh well they are just shy and needs to learn to speak up or be more assertive", or other feeling types might think, "well this person doesn't even know who they are and are probably fake" and this all makes sense since INFJ's dominant function is NI and then FE (vulnerable to other peoples opinion as opposed to FI who keep to themselves). I have noticed a lot of INFJ's being very confused about their own identity when they start internalizing all that is projected onto them which again can lead to stagnation and somewhat of an aversion to FE I believe.
Fe is totally useless for me, it's my worse function and I only rarely allow it out of the cage
I have also had this observation. The Fe (vulnerable to other people's feelings) impressions get lost in the cavern of Ni possibilities... I think that's why INFJs are so often passionate about MBTI. It's a system created by an INFJ (Jung) for INFJs... and we use it to triangulate ourselves.
Indeed, sometimes I feel that my Ti is equal with my second Fe in how I use them, which makes people around me think of me as cold.
But in their mind, helping others is only valid like the direct approach of an ISFJ "give other people a fish when they are hungry", while as an INFJ I certainly prefer the approach "teach other people to fish". IMO in an ideal world I would not need to help anyone anymore since I thought them how to help themselves.
Yes, the fact people have so many grievances against INFJ's really just show their expectations of us, aka their own selfishness... but alas it is up to us to speak up when those "expectations" are not welcome.
Good explanation.
@@jenluckhardt6302 Heh as expected, or perhaps unfortunately, takes one to know one 😌
@@Leonhart_93 The lonely truth.
How I defy my type is with a simple quote. “Everyone is going to die one day.”
Looking into the future in a true INFJ fashion 😂
Logically consistent, rational, reasonable, of the emotional types is the least emotional. You are speaking my LANGUAGE. I am all the other stereotypical INFJ things, but those other things are the lesser acknowledged qualities and it’s so nice to have them stated out loud.
Wow, what you said about us having the energy to 'perform' for others is because we KNOW there's a time limit otherwise, if the time is too long, we get easily drained and it shows even if we can't help it.
I'm an orthopedic surgery coder, which seems an odd job for an INFJ at first, but it means I can indirectly support people who are injured or have degenerative issues and surgeons directly helping them. I could NOT handle being around the patients all day every day. Particularly the more traumatic injuries. I haven't entirely figured out how, but I'm rarely affected by the operative notes I read.
I'm an ENTJ with a friend who is INFJ. Both of us love researching psychology; she picked it up first but I've gone past her with my research, but she can apply it so much better than I ever will be able to
Omg I would love to hear more about this friendship!!!!! Do you two drive each other insane? Hahaha. What is each of your biggest frustrations about the other? I''ve only had entj bosses and I don't get along with them but I can totally see a power duo in a friendship or even a relationship setting.
She's a goofball and occasionally a nerd and I'm a nerd and occasionally a goofball. And no we don't drive each other crazy...at least not yet
Nice to see another pair of friends that's ENTJ - INFJ 😂
I think, it's a friendship that's really enriching and great, we have just about the best discussions ever on science, the world, people and share many viewpoints, but also differences that help us grow ❤️
I have an ENTJ friend and we argue a lot, but most of the time, it's in good fun.
I'm an INFJ and this was spot on! I have often been bothered by the stereotype of the super, emotion-laden, empath description of the INFJ that makes the personality sound like some kind of dysfunctional superpowered being. We are just people, and more often then not we come across as just people because we like to be very rational and grounded. Yes we have a compulsion to care about other people and their feelings, but not to an unrealistic degree. As an INFJ I'm usually more concerned with humanity as a whole and the direction it is heading more so than caring deeply about every person I meet. Thank you for this video, you clearly understand the personality very well!
Agreed!
Also, Please research 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till.
Spread the word!
Nailed it. INFJ Mathematician here, certainly love teaching people math and doing math. It's abstract, creative, and very individual, good quiet time! Also potentially extremely helpful to other humans and that idea of indirect motivation is spot on, gives a more full picture of how INFJs operate as far as I can tell. It's important to recognize that getting something done often requires going outside one's comfort zone, if INFJs just sat around pondering people and doing art all day they'd have frightfully few tools to help others, let alone gain perspectives on how the world works. People are things, they can't be treated as magical meat sacks any more than rocks treated as magical....rocks.
Very insightful. I'm an INFJ (too precious for this world!) and when I'm having a day when being an INFJ is just too hard, I pretend that I'm an ESTP and I just love life and sensory and it's all great man! I wonder if the ESTP is appealing to us because it is all our same functions, but rearranged a bit, so it does not seem too foreign.
Acting like an ESTP when needed feels liberating.
I’m an INFJ that empathizes with others but I’m not a people person
INFJ here and I have an alternate persona of an ENTP and it’s so true what you said about us having an alternate persona but only being able to maintain it in short bursts. At school and around people I don’t particularly trust, I act like an ENTP and have done for as long as I remember but I can’t maintain it too long and by the end of the day I’m normally rather exhausted and have to go to bed very early because I can’t handle anything else
I can relate to this, in situations that are both social and either anxiety inducing, threatening, or extremly engaging I tend to act like an ENTP, yet the more I've watched Nathan's clips, believe I'm an INTJ (I've typically been typed as an INTP). My partner described the first 6 months of knowing me as if I was an ENTP, but realised that I display this behaviour in bursts and only under certain conditions.
Heeeeeeyyyyy...
So, I know that this is a video of how INFJ's defy their stereotype and even have a point where it mentions how INFJ's aren't as emotional as people thinks, and what am going to say is a pretty emotional thing, buuuut I am going to use the fact that probably many other INFJ's are going to watch this video in my favor to ask for advice.
So, this may come from the fact that I am a still kinda young INFJ (16 years) or from the fact that I grew in kind of a chaotic house but when it comes to my feelings I really have no idea on how to deal with them.
What usually happens is that something bad happens, I feel hurted, I want to talk about it with someone but I can't because I can not explain to them exactly how I'm feeling (either sad, angry, scared, etc.) so I don't. And during the next days something little may happen, (like spilling juice, or someone hugs me, or I would watch my dog sleeping) and then I have like 20 seconds to run to bathroom and cry a river, then laugh at myself and cry a bit more :v.
So, what I wanted to ask is if anyone could please help me with an advice on how to develop Fi...? I would really apreciate it.
(Sorry that it was so long)
this problem will never go away fully, at least for most INFJs. however, if you give it time, it'll heal. I myself did something extraordinarily unexpected yesterday, and I'm still pretty upset about it but I know this will pass. if you are an INFJ, it'll pass too. your Ni will get busy again soon.
@@rubaiathasanrifat1026 Thank you
I'm 46 and this reminds me so much! I guess if I could tell my 16 year old self something about that issue, it'd be to allow myself to have emotions. Me. Not focused on the other person/people and what was said or what they're thinking. You are part if the human pool just like the rest, even tho it doesn't seem like it. Truthfully I still struggle with this, just recently too, but have only been working on it for a couple of years. You have a huge head start! Practice practice practice. And be mindful of it. Say it out loud. Claim it. Maybe that's a good place to start 😊
@@missdenim6590 Thank you very much 💜 (talking about breaking down for no aparent reason I feel like I may start crying right now 😂) I really apreaciate it
Also... I'd like to say, I think we have a really bad habit, even tho it's an honest one, but we run what happened, that made us sad or angry, thru our minds over and over again Trying like crazy to justify our own feelings and emotions about it, to make sure it's legitimate and appropriate. Why do we do this? No one else seems to be. Honestly the more I think about it the more I feel it's a bit cruel to do that to ourselves. I've been doing that over a breakup recently and I know my X isn't doing that for sure, so why do I? Why am I not allowed to just feel? It must first be justified and fair 😐 Maybe that's part of our fi discrepancy. We are trying so hard to run it thru the fair and just filter instead just allowing ourselves to have an initial and genuine emotion about something. Hmmm.... Always trying to make logic of emotions 😂 I swear one day I'll sort it out. I hope you can do it in less time my young friend!
You know the whole "least feeling of the feeling types" is so true. I'm currently in a part in my life where the feeling is not useful to me and I need to straight think and focus. And honestly it doesn't even bother me. I dont miss feeling because I just need to push it aside.
As an INFJ, I often get told that I look like the most normal dude and can easily get along with anybody.
But it's an act. I am the weirdest dude on earth. I can go crazy mode at the flip of a switch. Few people get to see that side of me.
What do you mean by crazy mode? 🤔
Do you have borderline personality disorder? Or any other Cluster-B???
🪓😐
@@Human_01 Nah, just crazy weird mode.
I don't have any disorder that I know of.
A lot of infjs can also identify as what has been scientifically termed as HSP (hyper sensitive person) and is very helpful in understanding the way our "mirror neurons" play such a big role in the Se function. I'd love to see a video/series on this and how it effects other MBTI types as well!
I really relate to the last one
How i look walking on the street:😡🔪💀
How i am when someone talks to me: 🥰😄
The first point is so spot on
Like I'm studying to become a software engineer but my plan is to help people through softwares and technology in future that's what I thought of while choosing this
All of this is SO accurate. I appreciate the emphasis on us being analytical and logical thinkers because I feel like that's often left out.
I absolutely appreciate that you mentioned how INFJs often appear quite stoic and almost unemotional, but with the ability to appear as some other type in bursts. I'm an INFJ and I am known specifically as highly analytical and academic, although the fields I tend to care more about tend to be human related (sociology, political science, geography, and philosophy). But throughout my life I've been called the "human encyclopedia" and I can see how I could appear a bit standoffish or aloof. I often surprise people who don't know me when they see how introverted I actually am, as I can appear very extraverted at times (social situations), but even then a more trained eye would notice the type of interactions I tend towards in social situations are typical of introverts - I feel far more comfortable in small groups, then I need plenty of alone time afterwards. Excellent job of describing what we are really like, instead of the stereotype as this emotional sponge. The one part of the stereotype that is really true is how people never really know the real person inside. While I know my two best friends inside and out (an ENFJ and INFP), neither of them really knows the person underneath even after 11 years of friendship and even living together for 4 years. Quite frankly, both of them are quite selfish in caring about their own projects and needs, while caring little about mine or at least forgetting to consider my emotional and career needs, and the fundamental need to feel understood. There are only 3 people who really truly know the person underneath, 2 of whom are ENFPs (my sister is one of them) and the other an INFJ herself (a once-close friend who betrayed me in a huge way and I cut her out even as I forgive her).
Concerning the "Energetic Persona" situation. Basically what you're saying is that they can act like a Se-Focused Person in short bursts.
I think that most, if not all, Persons with a well matured inferior Function are capable of something similar, coming across as someone with the hero of their inferior Function for short periodes.
I for my part, as an INTP, think that I can, in the right situation, give a damn good Fe Hero impression.
Although maybe that's just wishful thinking.
The capabilities are, however, limited. It's, as you say, an act, and on occasion something unexpected happens, which I'm not familiar with, and the impression breaks down.
Totally agree. A mature person should be able to perform in their inferior function although for short periods of times. And yes, INTPs can be very Fe warm sometimes.
Yes performance that has a time limit 😂
I've been thinking a lot about the "stereotype" that we can come across as controlling or manipulative, and in turn why it bothers us to be called that. It seems to me that INFJs don't like controlling people, we just want to influence them into being in control of themselves, into being the best version of themselves. This can easily come across as control or manipulation from the outside perspective, especially because we can be so terrible at just stating what our needs are
That Ti is one of my favorite things about INFJs. They actually (gasp) *admit when they're wrong* (at least the ones in my life have). So sad that so many people can't do this, but so refreshing when things go so smoothly. Just because I'm good at proving you wrong and pointing out your ignorance doesn't mean I like to or want to have to. INFJs' reasoning process is similar enough to mine that they follow my logic and realize they were wrong so much quicker than other types (Ni probably helps there too, but I know it's not only Ni. It takes far more debating with an INTJ to get them to admit it). Or maybe they've just made the Fe calculation that it's in their best interest to fold early and not risk damaging the relationship. But either way, my god, it's so nice to need only give such little explanation before they catch on, recognize the mistake, and not only quickly admit it so we can move on with our lives, but actually do so in a way that totally de-escalates the situation and dissolves conflict. They find a way to admit fault in a funny, self-deprecating way that actually endears them to you. When I debate some other types, I end up hurting their feelings with mean comments while feeling like banging my head against a wall, or they get unnecessarily defensive and drag it out for hours while I repeat myself. But with an INFJ, I disagree and start to debate and, within a few minutes, end up walking away smiling and laughing while shaking my head. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how nice this is? If you've grown up with this being "normal," maybe you don't know how lucky you are. Don't take it for granted!
Thank you so much
@H J Close! INTP, with a fair degree of certainty -- as much as Ne will allow. After rereading that, I can see how it sounds very ENTP‐ish, and perhaps a bit overly confrontational.
We defer to the Ti master and just offer some Fe insights if we’ve got ‘em. It’s usually just delightful to hear a nascent idea or argument fleshed out, very satisfying. Probably why your INFJs yield so quickly. Out of respect.
@@lloydtxw It's possible, but he will stand his ground longer the more he believes he is correct (or maybe I'm just not making a convincing argument in those cases). It's also possible he has learned from years of experience with me that when I invest in, and insist upon, arguing, it means I know what I'm talking about. If something doesn't sound right, but I can't be certain, I have to run off and do more research to be sure before I make any bold assertions.
I just never want to be placated. My goal is always to have the other person genuinely understand my point (to the extent that if I had to choose between having someone agree with me or understand me, I would choose understanding). That's why I appreciate the INFJ's reaction so much. They don't just say "Okay, you're right" to get me to shut up without even understanding my argument. Their Ti is strong enough to follow along and see my point, but not so strong that they go overboard with arrogance in INTP fashion. It's a nice balance between Ti & Fe.
Another thought that just occurred to me is I wonder if Te being the Point of Least Resistance for the INFJ could be related to "quick yielding," because I have noticed that once I get to the point where I show him evidence (in the form of credible sources or academic consensus, not so much directly observable physical evidence), he tends to buckle. But the thing is, I know that Ti is perfectly capable of reasoning through whether an argument employs sound reasoning and makes sense to the individual, completely irrespective of whether there's any Te kind of consensus... and I usually don't reference any kind of credentialism... So maybe it's unrelated to Te. It was just a thought.
@H J That sounds very consistent with my understanding of tertiary Ti. I'm sorry for your experience with the INTP in your life. Young/immature INTPs can be a pain in the ass, probably to any type lol. They can (perhaps hypocritically) have a lot of difficulty admitting when they are wrong. In these situations, their reaction may seem arrogant, but I can assure you they are dying of embarrassment on the inside. It's just such a blow to their Ti they don't know how to handle it. It's not until they start to recognize the value of Fe and learn to tone down their Ti that they become more tolerable. Sometimes this happens sooner for females, as they tend to feel more societal pressure to develop Fe. I honestly believe having an INFJ as a role model could really help though. I often read comments from young, immature INTPs online and just shake my head, knowing that I used to be like that. Not every mistake has to be pointed out, sometimes you have to choose your battles and learn when raw honesty must take a backseat. I try to "lead from behind" by setting an example that admitting to errors should be quick and easy and deal no blow to your ego. But it seems most Te/Fi types have to list a bunch of reasons why they thought that in an unsolicited defense, as if they anticipate being shamed. So you just have to positively reinforce honesty over rightness (assuming that's what you want from people in your life). Anyway, I can tell I'm starting to ramble, so I'll conclude this by saying I hope you meet some mature INTPs in the future who represent the type's potential better.
There is beauty AND power in background roles, and often lets you escape the scrutiny, overly high expectations and lack of privacy that “glamorous” roles often entail. I think it is important to remember that roles in the spotlight are often very burdensome and only certain people would thrive and be happy by making the tremendous sacrifices necessary to maintain them, regardless of talent in the actual medium.
thank you!! finally someone telling the truth about our emotional side, my friends always describe me as detached and unemotional even though I'm an infj
I am an infj seeking a career of architect and that’a EXACTLY how I feel about it: helping people in indirect way. Bravo, Nathan!
🤞 for how entps defy their stereotype...
I will definitely do this one soon ~ Nathan
First, they would argue, "What do you mean by stereotype?" ;-)
@@marthaimmer5675 and then they would doubt the fact that they are an ENTP and then proceed to doubt everything related to MBTI.
Wait what no what do you Mean by questinig definetion
Thank you!
As an infj, I can definitely say I'm not very emotional. I think fi people are a lot more likely to be "emotional" than an fe type because fe is more about other peoples emotions and fi is about your own values and emotions, at least that's how I understand it. And fe people are less likely to be in tune to their own emotions and have more focus on others'. I also think the more introverted an infj is, the less emotional they are because their introverted functions are both very analytical and logical... well ni to me is logical but to others it makes no sense. I personally am extremely introverted.
The Derren Brown comment was very insightful. I recognize that I usually present myself publicly as the opposite of the INFJ that I am. Then I have to go home and have a rest :)
Excellent video. As and INFJ female, when I type others and re-confirmed myself (which is like a relentless monthly thing), I remember those moments of me "acting" like another type dilerabately, for the sake of harmony, which in turn is for the sake of me. It's what made it hard to type myself in the first place. ahahahah. I told my fiance, "one of us is a chameleon and I can't tell who it is!" (he's an INTJ) and proceeds to point at me. ahahah
Most accurate INFJ video I have seen. Although answering these aspects in MBTI tests will just give you INTJ. I get INTJ all the time, I think because I answer the non-emotional, non-interacting with people aspects. Although I am pretty sure I am not a strong Te user, I struggle a lot with quick decision-making. Plus I have an INTJ friend and our thinking processes are quite different even though we share a lot of perspectives.
This video has me absolutely nailed. I'm an INFJ engineer. You've got me spot on. Trying hard not to neglect my own feelings at the moment.
Yup! Wanna help out humanity, but don’t want to interact much. Part of my struggle as an actual therapist type. Also, I think highly emotional internally and privately, but seldom around others. We sorta need to shut out the universe to get in touch with our own feelings, since we spend many days managing sensory overload.
You made so many great points here. We are sponges, so we are very careful with our energy and others. Anyone who thinks an INFJ is not good with people either doesn’t know them well or plays to something far more superficial. As an INFJ, 9 out of 10 times, I know the why behind the why. It's a vibe. Yup, I loved this video!
the bursts of personality and expressiveness is spot on I just attributed it to parts of my life that are draining
I am impressed with these insights - very impressed, actually - you are completely right. I am INFJ yet highly accomplished and successful in a complex technical field which requires extensive training, education, knowledge and good judgement. However, I also studied music and sociology just based on my interests and natural gravity (you know, for fun). And let’s not even get started on my hobbies. In my career, I’ve founded and led impactful engagement groups at major companies and a graduate student organization at a research university. Somehow all of these things come together naturally for me. I can set a vision encompassing both the technical and human aspects with the aim of making a large-scale positive impact and needed on the world. That’s the driver (you got that right). I then build a technical organization, processes and relationships to do it. I also end up spontaneously picking up people who ask me to mentor them (although they are quite accomplished themselves). But...yes, I struggle with empathy for every creature, something I do not see hindering or influencing most of my colleagues. I also beat myself up b/c I expect too much from myself (perfection, in fact). Overall though, you completely nailed this one - good job! I was happy to see this one.
Mature INFJs are fascinating. At their best, they produce profound healing and insights in people they come in contact with, or produce such masterpieces as writings of Wittgenstein, Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment", Zvyagintsev's "The Return". At their worst, they become empty inside, narcissistic, profoundly effective manipulators bringing about deep-rooted chaos around them. I've seen both up close.
Pray, remember you're not God, do good and for goodness sake don't shut off that Fe, don't fall into Ni-Ti loop: even though it may hurt and be uncomfortable to have your intricate ideas and plans challenged by the messy, ever-changing reality, learn to trust and let go of control, engage with people, whatever their social status, age, education or level of spiritual maturity.
My heart goes out to you all. God bless you.
A lot of INFJs are naturally NiTi, though.
I often get accused of being too worried about peoples feeling, of caring too much. It always sits uncomfortably with me because I feel next to no emotional attachment to most people in my life. As you say, I am detached. It is just logical to move forward in a way that takes people feeling and attitudes into account because they will have a huge impact on how anything involving people plays out. I'm trying to save everyone a lot of time and drama by pointing out the most constructive path forward. If you protect peoples feelings along the way that is nice, but one thing you don't get to do is just decide they are not a factor. If it is someone you need to maintain a relationship with then you can plan to look out for their emotions ahead of time, or (much harder/more work) deal with the consequences of neglecting them later, they are the only two options.
I can’t wait to see your ISTJ video. A lot of my extended family is ISTJ and theres not a lot of content out there about them.
That's true
Goodness! Your comments on emotions is spot on. Only a couple years ago I had to explain to my oldest friend that just because I didn't show emotions like she did, it didn't mean that I was cold. She thought I didn't even care that my dad had died.
Shout out to all my INFJ's that are passionate about STEM
Question/observation: as an INFJ, I’ve noticed that my ability to “be the peacemaker” or to “put on personas” is another way of reflecting what people either want or expect to see in me. In other words, I can be a mirror to people. Anybody else know what I’m talking about?
Perfect description. Some people seem to interpret the INFJ type as an ENFP, Ni is misinterpreted as NE and Fe as Fi.
INFj
Television Editor
Best job ever
Work with a small group for a short time, then I get to be by myself and create a show using not just creativity, but also my technical side
Exactly! Just because I understand the people and their emotions doesn’t mean I want to deal with them constantly. Sometimes I notice myself shutting off and becoming very analytical because I’m just too stinking tired of *feeling* all day long.
I haven’t noticed this until recently but I’m not really emotional. Of course there are some situations where I would be, but in every day life my emotions usually run on a straight line of contentment. Though even if I do feel emotions you would most likely never be able to tell on my face unless I was crying, or if you knew me well. It’s crazy how different people function.
I work with the dying dementia diagnosed and I rarely cry. I'm fairly detached/observational. I do the right things, sometimes even to my own sacrifice. Though I may not directly feel, I do thoughtful actions. To me, that is more true to the definition of love. And not needing constant accolades and to be remembered for what I do. I also tend to advocate for the less loved people, resident or co-worker.
If I really lean into being present with someone's experience by considering their perspective, I will feel my heart swell and find these strange raindrops on my countenance.
The other week I asked a nonverbal resident, who was close to dying, "The human experience is very hard sometimes, huh?" She nodded. I said, "You are loved and you matter" and a smile finally broke through for awhile. 💔💗
Thanks for the great video! Have a good start of the new year! Greetings from an INFJ! :-)
Same to you too! ~ Nathan
And I agree that INFJs can come across as very aloof/cold- I would not consider myself the most empathetic person to be honest, however it is a great skill to develop.
The 'mystic' notion is due to us consistently being the observer, reading the patterns, underlying issues or problems, likely outcomes, etc and then suddenly we come out of seemingly nowhere to say something that seems random on the surface, but has taken a lot of deliberation in reality.
Thank you for pointing out our analytical side, and the fact that we are able to rationalize and "check" our emotions. My emotions might be triggered by something random like an animal cruelty video, but I rarely cry in front of other people unless I am frustrated or angry. I usually withhold my emotions in order to give someone else the space to process their own. The empathetic quality isn't usually conscious, and sometimes, if I am not aware of it, I wear other's emotions for far too long. It is important to do a 'self-check' and ask yourself if what you are feeling is true to you, or is simply Fe.
I agree that we can take on energies, but it can be exhausting. Sometimes, it can take me days to "recalibrate" after 'putting-on' another persona. It isn't done maliciously for the most part, though it can be in some cases as a way to manipulate; it is usually to give another person a good experience and is typically temporary.
This was a great video, Nathan. Thank you.
Omg I think that you have covered almost all the bases for my "insecurities" about even admitting to being an infj.
Harharhar yes I am aware of not being completely aware of my emotions and yet I would say I am "emotionally minded" which people constantly mistake for emotions themselves
Thank you also for the implication of moderate normality.
Errgh I think that I will actually decide to subscribe now.
You have succeeded at emotional manipulation through logical understanding, I feel understood in this one split second, not that it matters
As an INFJ I have to completely agree. I felt very called out by the peacemaker bit, it gets in trouble literally all the time. Advice for my fellow infjs cuz we never listen to our own, only others: Listen to yourself when you think you might be in over your head. Don't keep trying to be harmonic. The break isn't worth it.
I watched a video by 'Frank James' here on RUclips and I think he has a really good explanation on this. Basically, this (listening to others instead of listening to ourselves) happens when we disregard the third function 'Ti' which occurs easily because it is our third function hence not the strongest.
I know these are old but I'd like to add my 2 cents. Great analysis of us. Compelled to help people and put them out of their misery, but the frustration people cause you is immense. People need problems, and do not want a solution to anything. I want to work with them, but the majority I can't, because they say they want help but they are fooling themselves. So much time and energy I have dedicated to helping people see the error of their ways, only for it to be not taken and under appreciated. I love science, so helping people indirectly sounds much more appealing and advantageous. Good science, however, rarely reaches people, only sensationalist crap, which further damages the people I want to help. Writing is another avenue in which to reach them, that I also love. I can't explain how much it bothers me to see people suffer, and for them to continue to chose a life of suffering over trying. We are all so self destructive. It's a disease in itself. Great content, and glad I found your channel.
lol, i love the yoda comparison - i nerded out on lore videos about combat stances, and his form is exactly what INFJ's do.
2:14 I find our "psychic" skills come from processing the information we've already learned (through various means) multiple times, and then adding that data back into previous situations to capture missing details. This is then held against data learned in future situations.
The architect example was pretty spot on, Nathan. Some architects do view architecture as a tool to improve the environment and user's quality of life. They like their job because it can influence the world to be better in more subtle but concrete way. I think being an infj as an architect is worderful skill to understand the user's needs better to then guide them to the best choice.
THIS IS THE MOST ACCURATE VIDEO OF MYSELF THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. Thank you Nathan
I’ve been uncertain about if I am an infj or not. And for some reason felt very at home in the Intp videos and lots of others too. But what confuses me more is if that’s an infj thing to do? Because I feel like it is, but when I come back to infj videos I feel somehow out of place. And I know that could be because if I am an infj, I would break a few stereotypes that I feel really give an infj shape in my eyes. I’m kind of scared that it’ll be something really left field like Istj but now that I think about it I haven’t really looked into istjs all that much. This is way longer than I had planned but I just kept thinking. I’m pretty sure I’m not an Estp or the intp, because people like that make me feel exhausted, but I like interesting conversations with people I like. But all of these things make me think more that I might be an infj, except...
i would never call myself a mystic but i have seen snippits of the future since i was a kid, like all my kids before they were born, my husband 19 years before i met him. i have seen myself in space in my mid life so im looking forward to that
It's so satisfying to hear you talk . It's always so logically intentional and consistent.
My own interpretation of how and why we can naturally outwordly craft momentary personas is because: the more you develop your Ti (wich comes from a place where we genuinely value it), it brings this interrogative nature to Fe in an integrated axis to a point where, combined with Ni, it turns to be almost like either a hobby or an easier way to be out there. Explaining this, we have one type of situation that ramificates into another one, the first in wich is consciously intentional; thought of, that plays of if for example I'm helping someone out and I not necessarly craft a persona but more a mode, in wich I carefully yet in a fast inner pace process and pre project the way I will say the next thing. The other branch is in a more instictive way, where I get so captivated by someone else that I start to emanate their own energy by the amalgamation of what I think is the Ni-Fe, that makes the talking more fluent, and Ni-Ti, that plays out with this external simulation out of pure wonder and awesomeness. It's like getting in the skin of your own scientific experience and momentarily being it.
The second type of simulation and mirroring is where I simply wan't to avoid awkwardness, lol. When that happens, I also often can still be introverted and not wholy be out there, while still in physical presence of someone I'm not intimate enough to not mind being in their presence while not saying anything.
Conclusion is, these simulations and adaptations of ourselves come from these extroverted personas we craft and our internal analyzes that provides it consistency and intention, that, summarizing, we can turn on to what serves to end up us having an amusing time or to make being out there easier. Wich may actually be the same thing in different conotations.
Ok, so just a little while ago, I asked my INTJ son if he’s excited he gets to start back to work tomorrow. He looked shocked and responded, “how did you know that!?” I was all, I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure you told me you were starting back. He’s looking extra freaked out by this time, “no mom, I only got a text from my boss an hour ago and I haven’t told anyone.” He and I hadn’t spoken, within that hour. It also happened years ago with a dream about my aunt. It’s just way too freaky sometimes. I always feel like I was told these knowings I have. So sometimes I just “read minds” by accident and it freaks ppl out. And it freaks me out too!
Yup. Same same. I get what I now call premonitions.
Ah, it's nice to be understood. Fighting Yoda will definitely stick.
YAAAAAS! Enuf w the priests, ministers, mystics already,
INFJ medical research biochemist, PhD in environmental zoology.
These points are so spot on it would make a leopard feel spotless..wild 🤯
Loved your description very much! Funny, that im iINFJ, being an architect-student, and the thing you said about caring what impact the things/architecture will have on people in the future I sooo true, can't be more true! At the same time it seems to me, that the Infj-type is more likely to suffer from its inner issues and perhaps lots of infjs need some psychology therapy. They just want to give too much for this world, for people around, they try to carry the problems of everyone on their shoulders, forgetting about themselves. Well, I might have said a sad thing, but on my experience, it is what it is.
Love your channel btw!
I am an input machine. I love collecting perspectives and either honing down on an amalgam of my own creation or holding two seemingly opposing perspectives of truth in each hand. I am obsessed with truth and absurdly honest.
I have million little facets of myself I'm aware of yet I am very compartmentalized. This, I think, lends to me being very difficult to know. I may appear mediocore on the outside, and maybe sometimes I truly am just another human, but I know I have worlds inside. I wish I could share my very visceral dream life with another.
INFJs in summary: like emotionally acrobatic yodas coming to life for a brief period before retreating back to their introverted lairs.
Me an INFJ : Nathan you nailed it.
I’m very grateful for the masquerade thing you bring up at the end. I often feel like I don’t know who I am or that I have personality crises because my brain is so fluid as an INFJ. Thanks for this!
Loved this video. One of the most honest INFJ videos yet, and also a topic I've been meaning to discuss on RUclips myself. The stereotypes that are to be contended with in typology discussions, or when I read other people's opinions when they are trying to type (or re-type) an INFJ, are almost nonsensical.
Why people think having Fe makes me an emotional or feelings-driven puddle of irrationality is beyond me.
It really goes to show how difficult it can be for most to identify an INFJ. Perhaps it most often takes one to know one?
Understandable, the confusion, but also a slight bit irritating at times.
Anyways, thank you for the video.
Finally!! Accurate INFJ stereotype defiances. As one (..an INFJ, not a defiance. Although, that too) - I find this highly highly accurate. (And, I also think Derren Brown is an INFJ - a great example of all things Ni+Ti plus that weird acting thing we do.)
I'm an INFJ architect..... You just defined my career approach!
I really don't know how to describe myself during interviews haha. Maybe I'll just say "it depends..." next time
As an INFJ, I agree with your explanation, especially the "energetic performance" part.
wow I really agree with these points, especially the part about being less emotional than expected! Honestly, sometimes I'm taken aback just how apathic I can be with my own emotions, but I think it's to balance out the many strong emotions I take in from, for and with other people. On the point of emulating personas/people: I've been wondering if I'm the only one who sometimes mimics the expressions of actors when watching movies.. I also catch myself closly analysing the reactions of people in real life sometimes like I'm some sort of AI..