T**** Confuses Hannity With Wild Mar-a-Lago Excuses | Breaking Squirrel News

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  • Опубликовано: 24 апр 2024
  • An appeals court obliterated the former president's defense in his classified documents case, and even Sean Hannity was confused when T**** rattled off conspiracy theories in an attempt to change the subject. Also, if you're working from home right now, it's a good idea to check your house for squirrels. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Комментарии • 8 тыс.

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 Год назад +8765

    If you're not embarrassed by the fact that this man was once the President of the United States, you haven't been listening

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 Год назад

      Sleepy Joe is the epitemy of embarrasment in this country for his disatrous inflation & ruiining of country.

    • @95jpeat
      @95jpeat Год назад

      Nice try deep state. We know this is an npc

    • @nugboy420
      @nugboy420 Год назад +235

      @Leonaza7 deff have to have your back on this one.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +409

      I'm more than embarrassed; I'm speechless!

    • @lindakautzman7388
      @lindakautzman7388 Год назад +459

      I'm horrified and grieve at the damage he has wrought.

  • @Aluhcav
    @Aluhcav Год назад +782

    "I declassified everything" Well we know that's a lie, he never declassified his taxes.

    • @goahead3995
      @goahead3995 Год назад +36

      But but but it's in permanent audit!🤣

    • @ideagirl
      @ideagirl Год назад +6

      Truth!

    • @lookissjaxin
      @lookissjaxin Год назад +25

      Or his school 🏫 grades 🤓; stable genius 😂

    • @alaric_
      @alaric_ Год назад

      Also the numerous lawsuits and paid off porn-stars might beg to differ...

    • @rosehill9537
      @rosehill9537 Год назад

      He declassified everything......OK so let's the ppl read the taxes records the school grades the evidence from the russia probe and all the NDA's

  • @bolabintu8709
    @bolabintu8709 Год назад +32

    Not just embarrassed, but super ashamed that he was once the president.

  • @cesarregalado3420
    @cesarregalado3420 Год назад +13

    A real, real Airhead and REAL Embarrassment to the most powerful Nation on Earth. How did this happen? When I saw him for the first time and after I Heard him, my first thought was...Is this a JOKE? Is this for real? I will totally celebrate ALL the way when he's indicted and thrown in jail!!!!

    • @mammawlee
      @mammawlee 2 месяца назад

      I feel like l am in an alternate universe😔

  • @phantomchef2217
    @phantomchef2217 Год назад +315

    The count of mostly crisco made me heave I was laughing so fucking hard. I wasn't ready! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @o.b.7217
    @o.b.7217 Год назад +254

    *"When you're the president, they let you do it. You can do anything. Declassify documents by thought. You can do anything."*

    • @c.l.freeman7654
      @c.l.freeman7654 Год назад

      Sounds just like where we started years ago. "When you are a star? You can do anything. You can grab them by the pu**y and they just let you do it"

    • @KatKrueger
      @KatKrueger Год назад +25

      Yeah, including grabbing women by the…

    • @donaldbabbitt1214
      @donaldbabbitt1214 Год назад +1

      Well played!

    • @latinaintexas2872
      @latinaintexas2872 Год назад

      You know I can Wiggle my NOSE and become 50 Years Younger!!! I'm Sure he can't do that!🤣😂💃

    • @kingjamos2422
      @kingjamos2422 Год назад

      @@latinaintexas2872 Noice. When I scratch my ass, I get super strength. Super strength is awesome and all, but it doesn't mean much once you turn 70. I'm a long time away from that, however I also increase in age when I blink!

  • @terrancekayton007
    @terrancekayton007 Год назад +10

    When Life Gets You Down, Put on an old Stephen Colbert clip, to make you Smile. Great Writing, Great Graphics, Great Delivery, Great Team

  • @kateskeys
    @kateskeys Год назад +23

    Watching this is sooooo much more effective than cognitive therapy. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.

  • @auntiepha8343
    @auntiepha8343 Год назад +709

    Daily Reminder: When President Obama left office he went windsurfing. When Trump left office he went to court. VOTE

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Год назад +69

      Eight years of Obama, no indictments or convictions. ZERO. Four years of T-Rump? Lost count at a hundred.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +8

      I will, I promise.

    • @pierreclifton1865
      @pierreclifton1865 Год назад +3

      pretty sure Trump went to play golf. But okay...

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Год назад

      Yes the almighty Obama Trump came in and cleaned up all of his messes turn this country around and Joe took over now look at it

    • @edmundooliver7584
      @edmundooliver7584 Год назад +24

      @@pierreclifton1865 and cheated.

  • @CarlosMensuckass
    @CarlosMensuckass Год назад +2420

    The person that came up with The Count of Mostly Crisco deserves every good thing in the world.

    • @abigails4088
      @abigails4088 Год назад +72

      100% agree....
      left me dead, quite literally...
      was laughing and the distraction got me killed in my game XD

    • @zazaranger5
      @zazaranger5 Год назад +55

      Who ever did write that deserves a big raise

    • @pamevans8001
      @pamevans8001 Год назад +41

      that was greatness - damn near spewed my tea!!

    • @johnsmithe4656
      @johnsmithe4656 Год назад

      You shouldn't talk that way about Dear Leader, don't you know he's the Second Coming of Shitstain Crust? Next time you see a nasty one all dried out in your drawers because you only shower twice a month, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!

    • @mk1st
      @mk1st Год назад +20

      The best😂

  • @rebelbelle62
    @rebelbelle62 5 месяцев назад +12

    Mr Colbert, you made the last years of Donald Trump and covid bearable. Without your humor and ability to make us laugh we couldn't have made or continue to make it through. So,Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • @cindyharris3156
    @cindyharris3156 Год назад +4

    I am so thankful for people like Stephen Colbert.

  • @LooseNut099
    @LooseNut099 Год назад +233

    Whoever came up with the “Count of Mostly Crisco is a genius.”

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Год назад +3

      Thank you my son came up with that you six

    • @vickywitton1008
      @vickywitton1008 Год назад +1

      What does it mean?

    • @marthareis5873
      @marthareis5873 Год назад +10

      @@vickywitton1008 It's a lard play on the famous story, "The Count of Monte Cristo."

    • @anderjpoo
      @anderjpoo Год назад +3

      @@marthareis5873 see what you did there ,........ clever!

    • @ZenFrequency111
      @ZenFrequency111 Год назад +2

      Man I hollered

  • @scottmwilhelms2437
    @scottmwilhelms2437 Год назад +619

    So I guess the only secret documents left are his tax returns. 🙄

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Год назад +19

      Nope, the prosecution got those a year or so ago. I'm guessing they played into the charges and may result in indictments on federal charges.

    • @TheLemon333
      @TheLemon333 Год назад +9

      I think that they are just not allowed to be public yet.

    • @dingobat2389
      @dingobat2389 Год назад +3

      Good one!

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад

      Biden should declassify them with his mind!

    • @thisbushnell2012
      @thisbushnell2012 Год назад

      Mazars delivered them up after extracting themselves from the orange turd's employ.

  • @cpmrealty
    @cpmrealty 6 месяцев назад +9

    Stephen always knows how to deliver news.

  • @russkish8628
    @russkish8628 Год назад +7

    It's really a shame what he's done to the position

  • @dozzer009
    @dozzer009 Год назад +426

    So now he thinks the FBI was looking for Hillary’s emails…at Mara Lago??? Seriously?

    • @fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524
      @fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524 Год назад +37

      Then trump
      Stole Hilary’s email or maybe he was the one stealing Hilary’s email 😂😂

    • @kenotube3160
      @kenotube3160 Год назад +28

      Yes, her emails were under the welcome mat.

    • @arcturionblade1077
      @arcturionblade1077 Год назад

      It's all projection, distraction and deflection at this point. A whole gish gallup streaming firehose of nonstop nonsense to confuse and whip up his braindead base with a kabuki theater performance of feigned perpetual victimhood. Donnie Deutschbag is desperate and has nothing left but lies to dish out.

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 Год назад +30

      He seemed to be trying to sort out a new whopper to tell on the spot. 😆

    • @gloomyblackfur399
      @gloomyblackfur399 Год назад

      He said it for a simple reason--it's always worked for him in the past. Not just in the 2016 election, but remember the "Surrender Summit" with Putin? He doesn't understand why it worked for him then, he just knows it did. So why not try it now?

  • @ERAforALL
    @ERAforALL Год назад +612

    “The banks should have known I was a liar.”
    So should every American who voted for him.

    • @dshepherd107
      @dshepherd107 Год назад +11

      It doesnt help when you lecture people. Leave it be. Some people grew up different, were desperate for change, & were conned. You’re just adding to the anger & divisiveness. The problems lay at the top, not the bottom where we are. FYI: No I didn’t vote for Trump. I was a Democrat my whole life, until they sold us out by supporting the wishes of the billionaires over us.
      We NEED to recognize we’re all Americans… human beings, & look for common ground.

    • @maryfields1382
      @maryfields1382 Год назад

      Oh, they know. They just won't admit they got fooled. Don the Con has made his living fooling people. So, you got fooled. That should piss you off enough to realize you need to pay more attention going forward. But instead, they double down. I'll never understand.

    • @raysun6617
      @raysun6617 Год назад +27

      They knew and still voted him in.

    • @steelers6titles
      @steelers6titles Год назад +9

      Stop me before I borrow again.

    • @dshepherd107
      @dshepherd107 Год назад +4

      @@raysun6617 They didn’t all know. Get around the country much? Have you asked them all? I’ve gotten around the country quite a bit. Sure, there’s a portion of his followers who are racists bigots. They’re not all though. I’ve grown up around overt racism.
      My point is, how do your words contribute to lessening the divide?

  • @lisab9541
    @lisab9541 5 месяцев назад +4

    This is one of the best monologues ever! ❤️👍🏻

  • @rubyhoward2085
    @rubyhoward2085 Год назад +3

    Someone please rescue that poor squirrel 🤣🤣🤣

  • @lynnegackstetter2779
    @lynnegackstetter2779 Год назад +133

    Count of Mostly Crisco. Who ever came up with that one deserves a raise. You are in your monologue and I am still giggling about this one. Time to rewind

    • @o.b.7217
      @o.b.7217 Год назад +13

      It's from Twitter. Not from the staff.

    • @lcritter
      @lcritter Год назад +3

      Earlier tonight I heard Michael cohen call it Mara-lardo. So mostly Crisco had me roaring .

    • @sjs9698
      @sjs9698 Год назад +2

      @@o.b.7217 well find out who their employer is & call them. they deserve a raise ^^

    • @Sig2423
      @Sig2423 Год назад

      I have a new favourite 🤣🤣🤣

    • @ideagirl
      @ideagirl Год назад

      Give him a double raise!

  • @chuckz253
    @chuckz253 Год назад +405

    The funny thing in all this, is that someone at Fox thought it was a good idea to air that. 🤣

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +15

      All for the base!

    • @csmith563
      @csmith563 Год назад +3

      @@couragekarnga8735 IKR🤣

    • @superluminalprobabilityclo6884
      @superluminalprobabilityclo6884 Год назад +13

      The base of red hats will parrot it forever

    • @MDRUSHCRUSH
      @MDRUSHCRUSH Год назад +33

      I fear the base will still see him as innocent. Their stupidity is frightening

    • @pawala7
      @pawala7 Год назад +18

      They know their audience will take whatever bullcrap he spits out as law and gospel.

  • @pamelaibarra790
    @pamelaibarra790 Год назад +7

    "Filet-o-fish smothered in ketchup" 😂😂😂😂

  • @LavonYoung1
    @LavonYoung1 Год назад +6

    It's about time real legal minds got it right.

  • @ChainReactionsProductions
    @ChainReactionsProductions Год назад +1010

    Sometimes when I think he can’t be that stupid or brazenly criminal, he gets stupider and more brazen with his crimes

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +21

      I almost feel sorry for his lawyers.

    • @SRowntree
      @SRowntree Год назад +50

      @@couragekarnga8735 The smart ones bailed already. That's why his current ones were picked up from off the freeway.

    • @lindaleelaw5277
      @lindaleelaw5277 Год назад +9

      @@SRowntree from the off ramp at Compton ?

    • @atiredfloridian777
      @atiredfloridian777 Год назад +20

      IKR? You think he can't top himself and then he DOES.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Год назад +2

      I think his loyal cult followers are even stupider and more brazen with their crimes. They took one look at this Orange Dumpster Fire of a garbage human being who constantly swindled them out of their money and actively tried to destroy his own country and STILL go, "Yep! That's my man for 2024!"

  • @richardosbourne3346
    @richardosbourne3346 Год назад +164

    Everyone seems to have missed it, he also admitted that there are documents in his other properties. That needs attention right now!

    • @vetgirl71
      @vetgirl71 Год назад

      Your absolutely right! 🎯 #45 actually admitted on national tv that he took those classified documents from the WH! 👏🏾👏🏾 This man is a habitual liar and maniac! 🙄🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @j.s.669
      @j.s.669 Год назад

      Good to know!

    • @selalewow
      @selalewow Год назад +4

      Mayhaps buried near the first hole ay Bedminster?

    • @YM-zz5qq
      @YM-zz5qq Год назад +9

      There’s even a video of him moving boxes onto a plane to take them to his other property. 😱 imagine that!

    • @blackbird5634
      @blackbird5634 Год назад +2

      Joy Reid did a show on that line last night.

  • @pitchlockinc
    @pitchlockinc Год назад +54

    A flawless performance! Johnny Carson would concede the throne! Thank you to Colbert and his writers for this MASTERPIECE

    • @kidd_gallahad2512
      @kidd_gallahad2512 Год назад

      I know your type. The kind who if you hand them shot they think its perfume. Colbert is a wannabee, a disgusting left wing propagandist. Carson would piss on him.

    • @JohnWarner-lu8rq
      @JohnWarner-lu8rq Год назад

      What are you smoking?

    • @kidd_gallahad2512
      @kidd_gallahad2512 Год назад

      Colbert is a snot. You are a bot.

    • @bwenluck9812
      @bwenluck9812 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@JohnWarner-lu8rq It's stood the test of time, John.... 😉

    • @JohnWarner-lu8rq
      @JohnWarner-lu8rq 8 месяцев назад

      @@bwenluck9812 Yeah.... BS has been around for quite some time.

  • @mlucia534
    @mlucia534 Год назад +12

    I love you!!!! :) You deserve an award for this episode. OMG! Someone arrest him already!

  • @laskey2175
    @laskey2175 Год назад +802

    If Trump declassified "everything" then he declassified Hillary's emails. 🤣

  • @lw3269
    @lw3269 Год назад +231

    "I think they took my will....." Anyone else hoping he was going to finish that sentence with "to live"?

  • @likethecheeze321
    @likethecheeze321 Год назад +2

    "Much Clothing! Many shirt. VERY PANT. Much Sock." XD Doge is Proud of Colbert, Memeing like a boss.

  • @garyjoaquin
    @garyjoaquin Год назад +121

    What a brilliant monolog. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to it.

    • @santiagohaas7439
      @santiagohaas7439 Год назад

      - 'Congrats' to the Don !!!!!!!!!

    • @viralmemes9213
      @viralmemes9213 Год назад

      yeah i wonder if he will say the same for Biden considering he has classified documents in his garage and was never a president.

    • @communitygardener17
      @communitygardener17 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@santiagohaas7439D John.

  • @theoneandonlygrod
    @theoneandonlygrod Год назад +40

    "Okay, Mr. President. So you're saying you saw the documents, magically de-classified them ... and THEN you stole them?"

  • @dano8902
    @dano8902 Год назад +95

    Just...incredible. Every time you think he can't sink any lower he breaks out the jackhammer and screams "I NEED A NEW SUB-BASEMENT!"

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Год назад +8

      Hands the jackhammer to a contractor, whom he never pays.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +3

      And then refuses to pay the contractors!

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Год назад

      Joe's old you know they can't leave him alone you shouldn't make fun of old people someday we'll all be there hopefully

    • @johnhipp8267
      @johnhipp8267 Год назад +5

      @@danmcgriff1421 What are you even rambling about?

    • @derekstein6193
      @derekstein6193 Год назад

      @@johnhipp8267 I think he is trying to treat the OP as if he/she was referring to Biden instead of Agent Orange. Just another deflection and a failed attempt at a "gotcha" quip.
      A troll or self-deluded fool, either way Dan Mcgriff is best ignored.

  • @liviusss
    @liviusss Год назад +8

    Stepdad who ran over the hamster... 🤣
    Thanks for the laughs, Stephen, you really had a field day (and we did as well)!

  • @airheadrica1
    @airheadrica1 Год назад +8

    By far the Best, and Super Funny monologue Ever. ❤

  • @stiimuli
    @stiimuli Год назад +261

    The former disgrace in chief does this every time he's in trouble. He throws out every excuse he can think of even if those excuses contradict each other. "They raided my home and took my documents...I didn't take any documents....those documents were planted by the FBI...those documents were never classified....I declassified them all magically when I took them....also those documents were clothes..."

    • @bobrisse9823
      @bobrisse9823 Год назад +1

      It's called DELAY!
      Trump tactic on display.
      Capitalism, the media, US justice, evangelicals, and MAGAS have fucked US and the world up.
      MAGAS, evangelicals, the media, US courts, and corporatism at this point truly do not understand REAL AMERICANS!
      We despise your MAGA, fake Christian, and media asses; your republican reps are on the wrong side.
      Republicans (liars, cheaters, and thieves) are dinosaurs; let them rot in their own infernal bigotry.
      US will be there for ALL of US no matter what shenanigans any MAGA, US court, evangelical meat head, or media talking head spouts.
      TRUMP was not your savior; he brought out all the hatred, bigotry, and greed republicans have to offer US and MAGAS, evangelical meat heads, or media talking heads failed to deliver anything but hate, bigotry, and greed!
      The progeny of US are already facing a world of grief.
      I encourage US to remember that republicans have not voted for any legislation that would protect US, our progeny, or the world.
      Do not vote “R”.
      US and “Homie” don't play that game!

    • @benwu7980
      @benwu7980 Год назад +3

      Colbert's analogy to scattershot and fridge magnets is quite apt, or Neil deGrasse Tyson's quote "It becomes truth, simply because it got repeated so many times."
      Another thing he said to Hannity was that after magacally declassifying document, that he sent them *everywhere*
      I almost feel sorry for his lawyers for their jeopardy.
      It's rather amusing that in court, his lawyers are quite surprised at being asked the most obvious questions.
      Reminds me of a sketch Key & Peele did, called "Rap Album Confessions"

    • @CopingwithGrattitude
      @CopingwithGrattitude Год назад +5

      Word salad…common trait of the personality disorder.

    • @YM-zz5qq
      @YM-zz5qq Год назад

      “Such sock”😂

    • @kellir.747
      @kellir.747 Год назад

      Spot on!

  • @w.s.soapcompany94
    @w.s.soapcompany94 Год назад +248

    It's like watching a five year old make up the rules to a game as he is playing it.

    • @user-kb9cu4rl9z
      @user-kb9cu4rl9z Год назад +16

      tRump's been doing that his whole life. Doh. 🤪

    • @Michelles222
      @Michelles222 Год назад +11

      That's how he thinks every minute. He just pops off what his pea brain is "thinking" at that moment. The drugs aren't helping.

    • @kassiapencek6185
      @kassiapencek6185 Год назад +7

      Exactly

    • @bobrisse9823
      @bobrisse9823 Год назад +11

      Calvinball!

    • @sophierobinson2738
      @sophierobinson2738 Год назад +5

      @@bobrisse9823 You beat me to it! 😂

  • @TGEnglishandcomputer
    @TGEnglishandcomputer Год назад +3

    This is the best one Steve 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @slyeung6562
    @slyeung6562 Год назад +20

    Amazing show ! Thank you Mr.Stephen Colbert

  • @sealand000
    @sealand000 Год назад +20

    I'm not celebrating until I see concrete results.

  • @stoppin2look
    @stoppin2look Год назад +27

    "45" was "thinking about" declassifying each document as he was holding them out to be photographed by foreign buyers?

  • @I_Get_Computers_Puting
    @I_Get_Computers_Puting Год назад +8

    You don't have to be partisan to cringe at how he acts. He's like 77 years old, my 17 year old daughter acts more mature than this dude. And to think, that there's actually people that defend him, still.

  • @elchappy2809
    @elchappy2809 Год назад +24

    Thank you Steven and Staff for the laughs early in the morning! Love ya!

  • @SRowntree
    @SRowntree Год назад +331

    Thank you for everything, Stephen. And to the unspoken heroes of your crew too!

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 Год назад +1

      the crew that insisted in the capitol on jan 6???

    • @SRowntree
      @SRowntree Год назад +1

      @@victorarredondo304 Trumpanzees are camping out on Late Show videos waiting to screech

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +6

      I anticipated this, and was not disappointed! Love ya, SC!

    • @joshuawilson5434
      @joshuawilson5434 Год назад +6

      @@victorarredondo304 dude, spell check.

    • @tomnalley3644
      @tomnalley3644 Год назад +1

      Colbert is a commiecrat just like the rest of the Hollywood trash.

  • @debrastarr8436
    @debrastarr8436 Год назад +25

    A man who pleads the Fifth 400 times might as well admit he’s guilty and save everyone some time. 😅❤😅

  • @iamjro
    @iamjro Год назад +7

    Omg the squirrel 🐿 😂😂😂 This was a great monologue!

  • @ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095
    @ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095 Год назад +2

    He confused Hannity, when Hannity already comes pre-confused! 🤣🤣🤣
    {:o:O:}

  • @akaiclone02
    @akaiclone02 Год назад +30

    That one made me bust out laughing. "The Count of mostly Crisco"
    best nickname yet

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Год назад +2

      I kinda liked _the flabrador deceiver_

    • @akaiclone02
      @akaiclone02 Год назад

      @@ttacking_you tangerine dream was good to

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Год назад

      @@akaiclone02 then, of course, there's the P.O.S.otus (Kimmel)

  • @FutureCommentary1
    @FutureCommentary1 Год назад +34

    5:48 He must have confused the presidency with an absolute monarchy. And even then people can't act on the monarch's thoughts.

  • @mbf6160
    @mbf6160 Год назад +14

    The fact he had that bat waiting as if he had a run in with the squirrel before made it even funnier 🐿️ 😂

  • @TheMarkyMarx
    @TheMarkyMarx Год назад +41

    Thank you Stephen. Comic gold. Could we have possibly had a dumber president. I mean really? I doubt it.

    • @starsalign9336
      @starsalign9336 11 месяцев назад

      And more criminal president? I doubt that, too.

    • @jeremycurtis2334
      @jeremycurtis2334 9 месяцев назад +1

      I don’t know. If anything TFG has taught me is my imagination does not go far enough. Just when I think it’s reached the edge he proves me wrong. I’ve read (a few times) and studied the Inferno and Paradise Lost at a collegiate level. Didn’t really fathom how far down that really went.
      But that means we could have dumber and more criminal possibilities. He might be the worst now, but what I thought was the worst before him, he proved me wrong. Until now, none more dumb or criminal. However, can it go worse? Didn’t think so before, but now maybe possibly….

    • @johntoddtompkins3898
      @johntoddtompkins3898 7 месяцев назад

      Let's all pray it doesn't get worse that Trump. @@jeremycurtis2334

  • @Betweentwogames
    @Betweentwogames Год назад +2421

    A man who makes anyone who works with him sign an NDA, probably has a vague idea of how illegal this is.

    • @theactualbajmahal833
      @theactualbajmahal833 Год назад +20

      Nah, that's just about his actual finger lengths.

    • @robertcampomizzi7988
      @robertcampomizzi7988 Год назад +40

      There are legitimate uses for NDA. His were less than admirable. I will NOT dispute that part.

    • @seanbrockest3888
      @seanbrockest3888 Год назад +96

      Always remember that an NDA is immediately invalid when any crime is involved.

    • @lancecarona2554
      @lancecarona2554 Год назад +47

      Trump is guilty AF !

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Год назад +26

      To be fair, NDAs are also used for things like movie or government contracts. But if the NDA is in a legal contract, yeah that's pretty shady.

  • @melissaweyrick5311
    @melissaweyrick5311 Год назад +94

    The Squirrel's are in 45's head, and they have rabies.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +4

      Which really sucks, 'cause I'm sure he's got cyphylus.

    • @kimweaver1252
      @kimweaver1252 Год назад +3

      It's the other way around, the squirrels are terrified and T-Rump has rabies.

    • @herminaescamilla8537
      @herminaescamilla8537 Год назад

      N tRump is the one who gave those poor squirrels Rabies too..

  • @jodymacmanus1431
    @jodymacmanus1431 Год назад +2

    He needs to be indicted! Why why why is Donald Trump above the law! This should be done immediately! Let’s get moving people!

  • @Lena-vl4iv
    @Lena-vl4iv Год назад +4

    This was brilliant. I laughed my ass off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @ssfheather6629
    @ssfheather6629 Год назад +40

    Omfg the count of mostly crisco…A++++++ that was chefs kiss perfect!

  • @joshthompiano
    @joshthompiano Год назад +136

    "There is nothing either classified nor declassified but thinking makes it so." ~Donald Shakespeare

    • @id10t98
      @id10t98 Год назад +11

      Be classified or not be classified, that is the question!

    • @commentz-1
      @commentz-1 Год назад +7

      🤣😂🤣😂

    • @justsaying14
      @justsaying14 Год назад +7

      A document, declassified would read as sweet.

    • @pennydavis9494
      @pennydavis9494 Год назад +3

      Love the nickname

  • @edmonddantes5750
    @edmonddantes5750 Год назад +3

    I almost peed from laughing at the screaming squirrel guy.

  • @SchlumiBenLuschi
    @SchlumiBenLuschi Год назад +13

    This is absolute gold. I keep coming back for more laughs. Thanks be to Quob for giving us the Dontard.

  • @blascantu7221
    @blascantu7221 Год назад +14

    "I declassified it with my mind" ~ The Tangerine Wizard of Mar-o-Lago

  • @kathiwilson1169
    @kathiwilson1169 Год назад +44

    By thinking about disclassification and saying the doc are disclassifid, could he be setting up a insanity defense?

    • @LetsBeCivilShallWe
      @LetsBeCivilShallWe Год назад +5

      Yours is the first comment I’ve seen that posits that argument, and it’s honestly the only one I’ve seen that makes _any_ sense.

    • @elisabethvalade9866
      @elisabethvalade9866 Год назад +5

      @@LetsBeCivilShallWe But he KNEW he was wrong in having them there. That's why he hid them, and denied, denied, and denied when they asked for them in the FIRST PLACE. And the SECOND PLACE. If you know you have done wrong, then you CANNOT be adjudged crazy.

    • @patricknabors1898
      @patricknabors1898 Год назад +6

      Regardless of whether that's his plan, if they put him on trial, the jury could easily come to the conclusion that he "ain't right in the head"... Since he obviously isn't. .

  • @CelesteRAdams
    @CelesteRAdams Год назад +3

    I have watched this over 10 times & it seems new each time & I scream laughing each time!

  • @weirdunclebob
    @weirdunclebob Год назад +1

    "Martha My Dear" at the end was awesome. Cheers TLSB 😁👍

  • @lizardog
    @lizardog Год назад +9

    I'll say it again, "How does anyone listen to Trump talk and think he's fit for office?"

  • @DustyJones1997BGCL
    @DustyJones1997BGCL Год назад +100

    The former guy is absolutely creepy insane and crazy but what I find more creepy and scary and it just frightens me everyday is that there are people who follow this guy and everything he says every word he says most people believe it I'll just never understand how can anybody think that this is okay the former guy is a bad man and he needs to be held accountable and thrown in prison.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад

      Cultism and Stockholm's syndrome are real.

    • @thisbushnell2012
      @thisbushnell2012 Год назад +4

      which is why he needs to live a long long time, to complete his sentences, consecutively, in a nice padded windowless room.

    • @mwil1323
      @mwil1323 Год назад +5

      Yep and now besides thinking he’s the second coming, they also now think he is a magician!

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Год назад

      Sounds like you're going to cry are you okay if you need to talk I'm here for you it's going to be okay

    • @saratemp790
      @saratemp790 Год назад

      My mom loves him because Trump is openly racist. Prob most of his followers are the same.

  • @llfsmith1
    @llfsmith1 Год назад +19

    I watched this a few times, laughed hard on each watch.... Stephen is beyond hilarious 😂

  • @phyllisgarrison3561
    @phyllisgarrison3561 Год назад +2

    I wonder what Trump has on Hannity. Nobody at Fox News wants to talk to him, so he calls up Hannity for an interview. Hannity looked so uncomfortable, and he tries to guide Trump into what to say.

  • @care2think611
    @care2think611 Год назад +272

    "Declassified them.....with his Mind !!!" That one really got me. Sometimes the writing and Colbert's delivery gets me almost hollering on the floor. Thank You! These gems and everthing y'all do keep me closer to sanity. Don't stop!

    • @adriennegormley9358
      @adriennegormley9358 Год назад +9

      I'm still on board with the people who insist that Biden can reclassify them the same way.

    • @KGershkoff
      @KGershkoff Год назад +6

      There's a Professor Charles Xavier joke in there somewhere.

    • @tma2001
      @tma2001 Год назад +6

      for such a classy guy he sure does de-classify everything he touches!

    • @WhiteFangofWar
      @WhiteFangofWar Год назад +2

      @@tma2001 Yes everything that comes into contact with him inevitably loses its' class.

    • @fortunateson7852
      @fortunateson7852 Год назад +1

      Yeah when he says that, what does Hannity think? I mean seriously, he HAS to think that’s crazy.
      I mean how do you hear those things and not doubt his sanity?
      I know he criticises Biden but my God what a mess. To be fair this is exactly why we need some younger men in these positions. I mean even men in their fifties are thirty years younger.

  • @toramaru.m
    @toramaru.m Год назад +593

    Stephen's monologue was on fire! He roasted every single one of those excuses to perfection.

    • @7027flowers
      @7027flowers Год назад +2

      💯🤣

    • @ludwinghurtado5032
      @ludwinghurtado5032 Год назад +3

      Yes he did! This is viral content! Well all his material is viral really but this deserves virality!

    • @smac9273
      @smac9273 Год назад

      It’s too bad his best monologues are the ones making fun of Trump.

    • @smac9273
      @smac9273 Год назад +3

      @@Nate-.- what? Just saying it would be nice if Trump just went away and we rarely heard about him again in the monologues.

    • @Surge1077
      @Surge1077 Год назад +3

      The comparison of Judge Cannon to the girl from the Ring movies KILLED ME!

  • @elizabethmoini2902
    @elizabethmoini2902 Год назад +1

    "Stephen.... Much Love from the UK!!.....I LOVE your sense of humour!!. I thought our politics here in Britain was nuts!!!. Thanks for making me Laugh so much, i nearly wet myself!!!".

  • @mr.halloween87
    @mr.halloween87 Год назад +1

    We are going to be absolutely disappointed by the final outcome.

  • @kjacob35
    @kjacob35 Год назад +16

    I've heard it several times, but I still can't hear Trump say "just by thinking about it" without laughing out loud.

  • @geekishgir
    @geekishgir Год назад +67

    The Count of mostly Crisco had me laughing far more than it should have. Probably one of the best you've picked!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @janetbooth9268
    @janetbooth9268 Год назад +7

    Stephen, you and your team keep getting better and better. Thank you for the laughs. I also caught that Rodney Dangerfield shoulder shrug, it made me think how he would throw all this bs into his acts. Keep them coming?

  • @sideshowbob
    @sideshowbob Год назад +2

    Sooooo . . . Hillary's emails were in boxes of PRINTED OUT paper? Sounds like the punchline of a Dilbert cartoon about the pointy haired boss "I didn't read your email because my secretary is out so there's no one to print my emails for me"

  • @fifiwoof1969
    @fifiwoof1969 Год назад +12

    "Sean comes preconfused!"

  • @HairynosedWombat163
    @HairynosedWombat163 Год назад +2481

    This judge Cannon now has huge egg on her face. How would anyone have any confidence in any of her rulings or judgements from today? She can thank the chump for destroying her short lived reputation and career though.

    • @pickledragonrebel
      @pickledragonrebel Год назад +296

      She did this to herself she knew exactly what she was doing.

    • @ProjectFlashlight612
      @ProjectFlashlight612 Год назад +117

      Het judgments are like the Star Wars novels - not Cannon.

    • @andyruse4670
      @andyruse4670 Год назад +151

      She’s in a for life position.
      Until and unless she’s impeached, there’s zero reason for her to feel regret for acting like his puppet.

    • @kenhoward3512
      @kenhoward3512 Год назад +198

      @@pickledragonrebel Trump appointed her to be a judge from a list provided by the far-right-wing Federalist Society. Yes, she knew what she was doing - and will likely continue doing it.

    • @co7314
      @co7314 Год назад

      She should be disbarred

  • @ronsflightsimlab9512
    @ronsflightsimlab9512 Год назад +1

    My boss is from the UK... He said "If you or I would have done this, we would be drinking water upside-down for a living."

  • @suzivigeant2213
    @suzivigeant2213 Год назад +4

    Being able to replicate that man's screaming was icing on a cake.

  • @couragekarnga8735
    @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +219

    I love that even Sean Hannity couldn't follow Trump's thinking! Gods, I hope at his eventual trial, he just pleads Jedi!

    • @Cypresssina
      @Cypresssina Год назад +45

      He'll just plead the Sith.

    • @JG-fz1zg
      @JG-fz1zg Год назад +15

      This is underrated. Both the original comment and the first reply. 😂

    • @ahboaz
      @ahboaz Год назад +5

      Chewbacca defense!

    • @wkahn1005
      @wkahn1005 Год назад

      BREAKING NEWS
      Obama's Classified Documents found stored in a Furniture Store opposite a McDonalds
      Jessie Waters broke this news on Prime Time ..Where is the FBI and DOJ

    • @williammobley9634
      @williammobley9634 Год назад +4

      @@Cypresssina "I love Democracy..."

  • @mfort9997
    @mfort9997 Год назад +79

    It didn't occur to me that I could laugh out loud (very loudly) about all the absurd ridiculousness going on with the count of mostly crisco! 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅 Thank you sooo very much!! You and your team are amazing!!!

    • @TheLemon333
      @TheLemon333 Год назад +5

      They were sent in by the public a while back on Twitter.

    • @johnhipp8267
      @johnhipp8267 Год назад +3

      The count of mostly crisco, there's a new one. I like it.

  • @susanwelch9087
    @susanwelch9087 Год назад +2

    The Count of Mostly Crisco....down in Mar a Lardo

  • @geopolitix7770
    @geopolitix7770 Год назад

    I'm torn between:
    "Mmmmmm are THESE your Nuclear codes??"
    And
    "A treason Cabrebro" as my favourite lines!

  • @alariel85
    @alariel85 Год назад +50

    The dude has a bat ready and was skittish at every small noise, I believe him when he said he was terrorised by squirrels beforehand.

    • @justsaying14
      @justsaying14 Год назад

      You know who has been taken out of action by squirrels?!
      Thanos 😱

    • @vincentavangogh3636
      @vincentavangogh3636 Год назад

      Has he tried eating them? Their meat is delicious in stews. Both squirrels and rabbits are scarce in my backyard now... ☹️

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 Год назад +305

    Stephen and this crew always knock the monologue out of the park.

  • @anotheruser676
    @anotheruser676 Год назад +1

    "declassified everything"
    So we can finally see those Taxes?

  • @Moore_cookies51
    @Moore_cookies51 Год назад +1

    THIS MAN HAS TARNISHED THE HIGHEST OFFICE IN THE LAND. HIDING THE WILL SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY UP. STOP THE TRAIN AND LET ME OFF!

  • @CJA32able
    @CJA32able Год назад +103

    Your phrases about the “much clothing “ had me crying😂

    • @customer5032
      @customer5032 Год назад +5

      "such socks." 🤣

    • @AngelaKSellsHomes
      @AngelaKSellsHomes Год назад +3

      They act like biden is incoherent. 🤣 Of course he does have that...a big brain. 🧠

    • @kingalfred2014
      @kingalfred2014 Год назад

      @@customer5032 Wow

  • @aj42k
    @aj42k Год назад +822

    That Trump photo with that outfit made me hit the floor dead with laughter.

    • @kenotube3160
      @kenotube3160 Год назад +47

      Don’t worry. That cable is rated to hold 50 tons.

    • @karenconroy1860
      @karenconroy1860 Год назад +48

      Need to bleach my eyes

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Год назад +22

      Someone's using their photomanip skills into good use 😆

    • @indigowolf556
      @indigowolf556 Год назад +25

      Baby got back indeed 😂

    • @rainbowprism6242
      @rainbowprism6242 Год назад

      The guy should have looked like a blimp. They photoshopped him too generously

  • @lorny4u
    @lorny4u Год назад

    I'm here for 'Merica Season 2. Hello from Scotland.
    #independenceisrecovery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  • @nadiarepich5199
    @nadiarepich5199 Год назад +16

    Way too funny! Brilliance at its best. I can do everything (declassify) with just my mind: My Unfavorite Martian👽This is one of the best monologues I have ever seen. Talent way beyond AGT. Stephen is on a roll here. No one can outdo this most brilliant performance. 🎊🏆

  • @atiredfloridian777
    @atiredfloridian777 Год назад +320

    If for some reason you're not embarassed that this man was once the leader of the most powerful nation in the world, then you can't call yourself American. You can just call yourself as much of an embarassment to us as Eric's Dad.

    • @c0mpu73rguy
      @c0mpu73rguy Год назад

      He was president of China?

    • @KatKrueger
      @KatKrueger Год назад +6

      @@joeiborowski9763 Just think, in eight years you’ll be old enough to vote.

    • @adrasteia3866
      @adrasteia3866 Год назад +24

      I'm not as embarrassed as the people who voted for him should be.

    • @adrasteia3866
      @adrasteia3866 Год назад

      @@joeiborowski9763 Drumpf just told Hannity that maybe the FBI were looking for Hillary Clinton's emails at Mar-a-lago and you're calling Biden senile? Really? You need to go look in the mirror, son.

    • @popcorn8743
      @popcorn8743 Год назад +2

      You won't say trump s name methinks YOU should be embarrassed remember the orange man can't hurt you lol

  • @grizzlynad
    @grizzlynad Год назад +13

    “The Count of Mostly Crisco!” Bravo, that made me laugh out loud! 👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣

  • @psdeas7530
    @psdeas7530 Год назад +1

    “…Treason Cerebro.” 💯💯🤣😬😳😱

  • @SP_3333
    @SP_3333 Год назад +1

    It doesn’t matter if the documents are declassified or not. A former President can’t remove any documents from the White House.

  • @miket4560
    @miket4560 Год назад +122

    I love the fact you won't even write the weird orange guys name. ❤

    • @talk3194
      @talk3194 Год назад

      Orange Jesus, is his name, and the GOP are to blame, because they all went insane, committing crime for power and fame.

    • @thisbushnell2012
      @thisbushnell2012 Год назад

      its a family alias. the Drumpfs have been grifting since before arriving on these shores.

    • @danmcgriff1421
      @danmcgriff1421 Год назад

      That's how far up into your head he is you can't even talk normally you can't even bring yourself to mention his name I'm assuming you're a grown man Mike act like it

    • @alrightyru
      @alrightyru Год назад +4

      @@danmcgriff1421 why? It's much more fun this way!

    • @freema9246
      @freema9246 Год назад +1

      I'm OK if he is here and forever more named crisco🥴

  • @kevins031151
    @kevins031151 Год назад +19

    They took my will! Wayne's World - he really does suck!! hahaha. This humble Aussie is both roaring with laughter and shaking his head in disbelief at the same time

    • @HairynosedWombat163
      @HairynosedWombat163 Год назад

      And another humble Aussie joins you.

    • @bartbullock9742
      @bartbullock9742 Год назад

      Kevin, I'm just curious, you guys don't have a late night talk show in Australia????

    • @bartbullock9742
      @bartbullock9742 Год назад

      @@HairynosedWombat163 I asked Kevin, Lilo do you guys have a late night talk show in Australia??????

    • @kevins031151
      @kevins031151 Год назад

      G'day Bart. Nothing like this in Melbourne. Decades ago we had evening variety shows, but now the diet is a pathetic soup of reality TV with themes borrowed from overseas shows. Nothing like Stephen Colbert unfortunately.

    • @bartbullock9742
      @bartbullock9742 Год назад

      @@kevins031151 T.Y.... well it's almost 6:00 a.m. here in North Texas, I haven't made it down under yet, God willing I'll see it before I pass, I've been checking out Colbert for many years, he is a sharp cookie. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

  • @benlarsen4602
    @benlarsen4602 Год назад +1

    Yeah, that quote just makes him crazy.

  • @kpk1958
    @kpk1958 Год назад +2

    He declassified everything....except his tax returns.