A helpful example would have been if YOUR child actually said “no.” In this example, you’re simply showing the difference between a compliant and non compliant child, which kinda makes the parenting advise a moot point .
It's the difference in approach and how the 2 moms bring up the matter. One poses it as a question first, opening it up to for a no response, and the other mom just says what's going to happen and redirects attention with a task. That's what makes the child compliant or not.
Hahaha no. She’s showing the difference between an undisciplined child and a disciplined child. Do you think this happens by accident?😂 it takes a lot of work on the parents part.
@@MimiRAM0NE No it's not a difference in approach. She also asked her son for permission. She ends with Ok? Which leaves room for "No. Not ok." She just got lucky her kid didn't say no in that specific instance.
Every child is unique and responds differently. What works for one child won’t work for another. Control doesn’t always lie in the things we say/don’t say to our kids. Kids don’t follow cookie cutter rules. Every mama does their best and that should be applauded.
yes and no. we allways can try and learn totally new ways that are more cooperative, less painfull, more healthy. each mother does their best but we all have a lot of blind spots. i used to teach law for people working with kids and just telling them: you are not allowed to yell and hit and humiliate would not work. people have to have tools at their hands and many did not grow up with being treated respectfull. so we had to talk about methods and often we agreed to try them out at home with their own kids. and in the end they perhaps could have learned a bit m ore about formal law. but i tought them enough so they knew what they had to know. but what i tought more than usual: the experience that it works and even makes you happy. and more relaxed. also the students bonded and had their own group to talk and help in difficult situations like an in formal supervision group.
I agree, every child is different, and the scenarios are different as well. The example right here, when your child says yes or ok, that's great it's awesome, but when your child says no or just pulls away or runs away that's a different situation. I think both moms are doing great, treating their kids with respect and kindness even if the kid says no to them.
Agreed, but every mom starts somewhere. The second mom didn’t get that level of success overnight. Watching her videos she’s trained her toddlers to effectively communicate and receive communication that favors the mom and the child.
Pls take the part of the first video down. It not necessarily to shame another woman just to get your point across. That is not nice at all. You can get your point across with just your own video and a little explaining.
The first part of the video SHOULD be shamed, because it’s a bad parent philosophy. That mom posted her video, so she can handle being criticized by other moms. She’s going to ruin her child by giving him too much autonomy too young. That, or she is going to ruin herself.
Basic toddler psychology says to never ask toddlers about nonnegotiable things. Saying it's time to do something works very well. They can't argue with the clock. I'm willing to let you sit in your poopy diaper but the clock says we have to change you.
I guess then they would be saying no to understanding the statement, not no to the request to change the diaper. I think seeing lots of different examples is good. Not every day, even with the same child, will be the same.
The lady in the first video used exactly the same words, she also said she needs to change the diaper and asked "ok"? The only difference is that her child was not as eager to cooperate. In the later part of the first video she also gives the child a task, and they oblige. I don't see any differences in the two approaches, the only difference is the childrens first reaction. They also both cooperate later on (that part of the first video is not featured here)
I like a lot of your videos but this one felt like you were tearing down another mom to get your point across, which was unnecessary. We all make mistakes and that’s fine, as long as we learn from them. Please don’t do that again.
She is allowed to criticize other parenting techniques, especially when those techniques are horrible advice to give to other parents. Bodily autonomy is not a priority until the child is potty trained. You should not be begging your child to let you change them, dress them, or take care of them. It is your job to take care of them. It is a policeman’s job to arrest unruly citizens and take them into custody. A policeman is not going to negotiate with you when he is needing to do his job. A parent should not negotiate with a child to change their diaper. Both should use calm, assertive authority without hostility, but they should not be as weak and non-authoritative as this mom.
I follow the person you are using as a bad example and she has helped me so much in this journey. Not all of us have compliant kids that are also verbal or neurotypical. She covers a lot of different areas and scenarios of dealing with happy and not so happy toddlers. Your method is good, however, my son for example, HATES his diaper being changed and he would never bring me the diaper. So here I am, again, going back to the first video you posted trying to take a gentle approach with my son to respect his body and boundaries. Let’s not mom shame instead showing other examples like you did was wonderful and I’m so happy you have that with your son
Thanks for the input! I'm not mom shaming, just showing other methods. I'm quite gentle with my children and don't buy in to that "asking permission from our children about boundaries" nonsense. I'm just here to show moms that you can take up the position a parent is supposed to be in - which is to be gentle but authoritative - and still get really positives results. If my kid HATED diaper changes, I would just teach him not to. Babies are blank slates, they don't know what they hate or don't hate. Everything is taught so why not teach behavior that makes things easy? 😊
@@livjowen I would speak to a child psychologist and confirm that if I were you. Children naturally have likes and dislikes due to sensation. I never taught my son to “dislike” diaper changes. How would you teach your kid to like it? We also should most definitely be respecting our children’s boundaries as much as possible. We’re the ones teaching those boundaries in the first place by setting an example so they can continue to do this with other people. Girl idk..
I wasn't talking about natural likes and dislikes due to sensation. I don't teach them to "like" getting their diaper changed, I teach my children to follow instructions and trust me, allowing me to change their diaper without them throwing a fit or a tantrum. Of course I teach my children boundaries, probably more than most, but I don't buy into the idea that parents should ask permission from their children to do things, especially things like changing their diaper.
@brookiejai and I'm sorry if it was difficult to understand lol. I struggle with putting thoughts into writing sometimes 😅. Honestly though, thank you for commenting. I'd rather have a discussion with differing opinions than to never engage in conversation at all. You've made some very valid points and I know there is always something more to learn.
That just saying felt like disrespectful to the other mom. You shouldn’t shame her for some other method she uses. Also the kid might lack that behavior that you say is right. Plus soon the other kid will grow up and it will be no problem. You didn’t need to shame the other mom.
No mother needs to let their child walk all over them. That's how we raise children who are disobedient. It could be that the other mother didn't know and there are Definitely more ways to raise a child than one that work and are effective. My personal favorite is to pick the baby up and change it before it knows what's going on.
@@lisagalloway6230 ok not trying to fight I’m just stating my opinion that I get that the other mom wasn’t doing the right thing but I’m just saying that she shouldn’t shame the other mom because she doesn’t know what else to do.
Yes. Please don't compare. What do you know what she's great at. Are you undermining the Asian /whoever mother. Your arrogance is so loud and palpable. Be humble. God bless you ❤️
If he can understand all that then he can understand to go on the toilet . So instead of him running to get the nappy and wipes you run and put him to the toilet
How sad that this mother would use her parenting skills to compare with a video of another mother …. This video is just pregnant with too much cringe on all respects
Asking okay? Is a bad habit. You can give them mental shift time. Hey, go grab a diaper, we're gonna make you clean and dry in a minute. Don't ask. Direct. Keep 'em moving.😊
35 years ago, my first kid taught me that if I ended a sentence with “OK?”, she thought it was a request and could say “YES or NO”. Same sentence without “OK?”, and she knew I was telling her what was going to happen. If I wanted to make sure she understood, (which I think is what we mean when we add “OK?”) then I asked her, “Do you understand?” One time, when she was almost 3, I told her to do something then repeated it. When she didn’t acknowledge me, I asked if she could hear my voice. She said “Yes.” I asked “Do you understand my words?” “Yes”, she said. So then I asked “What’s the problem that you’re not doing XYZ?” Then, with all the attitude of a threenager, she explained, “Mother, I’m disobeying you!” (I died laughing on the inside) 😂
Okay, but it’s not like she can control what her daughter says. The little girl could’ve just as easily said no to a direct statement “I need to change your diaper”.
thats mom shaming... each child is different n parenting is different. if its not working change it. its thats simple! thats for any situation . thankfully for me as a child the look was enough to straighten up . my sister not so much.... we all have to research, listen to others n try things out to find what works. i see why my mom told me about other moms being very judgmental... cant imagine how my mom felt when i was a baby being deaf and sick all the time. it would had been better if you not shown the video and said it a better way. like if your child is saying no to a request to change your diaper try this method to help your little one understand what you are asking with simple steps... hes gonna grow up to see this and probably think of your differently .
WOW!! What a PERFECT Mommy you are!!! Especially the part where you “put down” another fellow Mommy! Being so PERFECT, you should’ve known that you NEVER, EVER “Mom Shame” another Mommy! You lost me as a Subscriber, right then and there!!!
(1) is is developmentally appropriate for children that age to say no occasionally (2) I appreciate the mom’s vulnerability mom to post the no video (3) I am so glad you were able to capture your toddler on camera being cooperative!
I get that she might be trying to help the other mother. However, her tone of voice seems quite opposite. No disrespect, but this seems like mom shaming to me...
As someone who grew up with Asian parents, they never asked me for permission for anything, especially when I was a toddler. It was always commands or demands and if there was enough resistance from me, I get hit! That clip was so weird. Hell, now that I think of it, to this day its either commands or demands. Nothings changed. 😄
That’s why I hate this conversation. You don’t accept “no” as an answer. You don’t ask them if you can change their diaper. You tell them what you’re doing, pick them up if they are being uncooperative, and change their damn diaper. Waiting for “consent” from a two year old is ridiculous.
@@RT-zn9bj 👍that's the way it is And my grandmother also had 7 children, she was a lovingly Person. But I don't think she had enough time to communicate this way all day long
Have you not had a child who is strong-willed & just straight up doesn’t want their diaper changed just because? Please think before posting videos like this. Makes a lot of us feel like bad moms & there’s no reason for that. Toddlers can be difficult, especially strong-willed ones. You show the best videos of your kids reacting to your correcting & disciplining. We all know that social media isn’t real life.
Mom shaming just to prove what ?? She also asked the same question evry child responds differently depending on their moods ....u need to be unsubscribed
My daughter taught me to no ask my grandkids, just take them to do it! These moms are giving their toddlers to much permission! Saves a lot of arguments!
I also believe that’s the case. Too many mothers and fathers are giving the kids the reins and letting the kids run the household. And that’s why they can’t do a bloody thing with them by the time they turn into teenagers. They lost control of them when they were two when they were asking their children permission to do everything. You don’t ask them, you tell them or you direct them. They don’t have a say on whether or not you’re going to change their diaper. It’s going to happen and if you don’t want me changing your diapers, then come in here and sit on this toilet, and do what you need to do. Those are the choices we gave ours.
And to the person doing the video, calling out another mother, if your kid is smart enough to go and get a diaper and some wipes, put that child on the potty and quit letting him pee and poop in his pants he is plenty old enough to start.
I actually watch you and took a few things from you; however, it’s not fair and completely unmotherlike to put down another mother, every child is different and every mother knows their own child best and knows how to respond. The first mother simply did what’s best and what works for her child hoping to help other mothers with children like her own. You didn’t even show the full video, in the end the first mother was actually successful. You didn’t show the outcome of her method and so this is all biased. We need to normalise that mothers need to start supporting other mothers.
Wow, this must be the lousiest parenting video ever. YOUR kid didnt say no because you're just lucky. Dont kid yourself. Other kids are different and other parents are good parents regardless of your liusy vudeos trying to make a buck on your kids on social media.
When I worked in daycare, the kids were changed routinely, the sweethearts would say thank you❤ avoid the power struggles with asking...the kids that Resisted usually were dry😂 just checking buddy 😅
Who the hell asks their child if they want a diaper change. Basic care is not a choice. So you're going to let your child walk around in a poop diaper all day until they say yes, so that diaper can get filled with pee to the point its falling apart until the child agrees to get a change. Yeah im going to look at you funny. You're teaching the child mommy cant tell me what to do.
The comment section is brutal. Y'all really love hurting this mom. Honestly, all her videos have people tearing her down in the comment section, like give her a chance and try to understand her. See the good in her parenting and if you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself. Don't try to fight with her on her own channel. She's a mom of 7 children, she clearly has more mom experience than 98% of you so try to learn from her instead of looking for everything you see wrong in her. No one is perfect. And nobody can live up to your expectations. So don't make her follow your rules.
Wow. I was enjoying your videos until now. Kinda disgusting shaming another Mom like that. We should be supporting each other. Build up, not put down. Very sanctimonious.
This is the first time i disagree with you and your approach, giving this mother as a bad example when her situation is so different. Show us Hudson saying no and your full method.
I dont ask my 1yr ild to change her daiper i tell her its time for a daiper change, and she still says no.... not all babies have the same attitude towards diapering. So this isnt very helpful.
I don't think you guys are realizing what the differences are, In the first question the woman is asking her child if she wants to change her diaper ending it would please which is essentially having the child make a decision... In the second clip the mom is telling the child she needs to change her diaper which is routine and following it up with an okay... Which lets the child know it's happening right now okay. But it also gives the child a moment to give the appropriate response.... Things like this are situationally based in my house non-negotiables are things like sitting down for meals, clearing your table, throwing away your garbage, changing your diaper, getting shoes and coats on when it's time to go...
You give very helpful advice! Though, where do you get this level of self-control and patience?😅 Are there any tricks? I would very much appreciate the answer❤
Also, every child will go through an autonomy stage. Even the most compliant child. So you will have your turn of No's eventually. Which is a good thing for development.
I love your gentle parenting videos but in this case, the comparison was very unfair. Your boy and the little girl seem to have a very different nature. The other parent certainly needed to be more strict but it wouldn't perhaps be as easy as you made it seem.
You do not know the circumstances under which the other parent lives. This is an awfully smug, judgemental video. Shame on you for believing you are better. You are not and have just proven that.
I never asked them. I just told them "come here, I am going to change your diaper". I am not going to ask permission and I am certainly not tolerating "NO" from my child.
But you are adding an "OK?" at the end of your statement to him. What if he says no?? Stick with statements of fact. " Hey Hudson, I need to change your diaper."
I usually like your videos for advice but this one made me a bit upset about the comparisons. My toddler also is quite stubborn but that’s not to say I’m doing anything wrong. I’m maybe going to unfollow which is sad but I don’t really want this type of videos on my feed
Don't ask questions unless you can accept the answer. You're negotiating is as bad as the first Mom . We ARE changing your diaper do you want this one or that one. Autonomy and decision making is best developed with true choices.
Some mummies are so good to an extent...they train their toddlers continuously to an extent even when he or she is about to poop...she feels it and tells mummy.
I have an 18mo old who FIGHTS me on diaper changes. Like he’s the best most helpful and independent guy but diaper change? Nah. And we will be starting potty training soon because of it. But I let him now “I need to change diaper to keep you safe. Sorry baby, not a choice.” And he screams the whole time and I repeat it. It really is not a choice. I will not beg. I will not be pushed away. And I will tolerate the meltdown while I change it. But it is not a choice. All kids are different. But it’s important to set expectations and boundaries. Ours littles are capable of so much more than we think. And I wonder if everyone treated them more like tiny adults versus incompetent babies if everyone would see them rise to the occasion.
Good tips, i have used similr methods and they work. Expectations will be met even by one year olds. People seem to think that one year olds do not understand. My one year old likes to take stuff out of big brothers room but a quick put that back John, and he will turn right around at return the item
Yes!! We need to stop our children from owning us and we need to take ownership over them! They are our responsibility and we are responsible for their behavior.
Let's just say that there are some kids who don't understand that you're trying to help them with their hygiene. Autistic children who have trouble even responding to their own name are a bit more of a struggle.
My son was like this too. Would pass me the diaper amd wipes and then he realized he is more than capable of saying no and that I can't just force him. Now he'll fight me on it but eventually will lay down
You are doing great but now after having 2nd baby I think it depends on baby too...my 1st one is so calm ND sorted...but my 2.5 Yr old is full of storm...being very frustrating to tackle him
When you have cooperating child that does what you ask of them, it doesn't make you a better parent than the one with uncooprative/difficult child. No shaming necessary,
I absolutely love your videos and admire how you gentle parent. The kindness and patience you show in those videos is something I hope to gain. Saying all that, this video seems like you are just shaming the first mom. Your example of your son isn’t even comparable bc your son is being compliant. This just feels judgey and like you know you are a better parent. It’s ok to approach this in a way more humble way where someone can actually learn how to handle their child in a similar situation
I find it somewhat arrogant to judge another mom like that. That's just wrong. After all, who knows how many recordings it took to show off your perfectly rehearsed diaper-change-scenario...just sayin.. ;))
Some parents allow the behaviour.If that was my child ,after she said no....I would have gently walked up to her and pick her up and got on with business.Period
It’s painful to watch a mom who can’t exert authority over a 2-year old. The child can’t have a discussion on an adult level. I admire mom #2 who teaches her little ones to mind, cooperate, show respect, etc. The first mom is teaching her child that she, the mom, is not in charge. Small issue now, big issue later.
Stop judging her. You don't know what the child might be struggling with may be illness or ahdh or autism or just toddler phase. There are so many abusive parents out there. What she did is nothing wrong. She can talk to Her child any way she wants. You shouldn't mom shame her. If you want to show how your kid is trained just show the second part of video. Not the first to show "bad mom" reference by you
I never asked my daughter when her diaper needed to be change I just told her let's change your diaper and did it they are small children they need to know mum is in authority and is in charge they don't need to agree or not, this is about their care, if they don't like it and cry I would talk with calm but firm voice and that's all until everything is done. It's also valid what she does, making it seems like fun to the toddler and even helping but he will not always be in the mood for that so they just have to know it has to be done and that's all, they are too small to give them participation in certain things. It's what I think
Every child is different you just have to figure out how to make the child adapt. My kids are Spaniard, Filipino, Bruneian & Chinese decent both fully potty trained at 18months old.
Yeah. This works for your kid because every kid is different not because you're doing a better. My first child was like yours. My second child is like the first video. 😂
I have two toddlers and I say sometimes “no” isn’t an option. Especially when it comes to day to day things like diaper changes and bath time. I still allow my child to have a mind of their own. My 1 year old says all the time “no” It’s just her favorite word at the moment. Doesn’t mean I listen to her like she’s the parent. I knew someone that let their baby sit in a dirty diaper for a long time just bc the child told them they didn’t want a change. At that point in my eyes it’s just laziness and bad parenting.
can we just ignore the fact that you are a judger? #1 parent rule is NOT to be a judger because YOUR kid most likely WILL do something that someone will judge some day.
😭 if i was that asian lady, i wouldn't even put my daughter saying no on the internet😭 when that child grows up, she'll feel so embarrassed that the whole world got to see her disrespect to her mom as a toddler. Actually, what did the mom expect, did she expect the whole word to comfort her and talk bad about her daughter. 😭 i feel so bad for that lady.
What about you not watching your children when they got the cookies? Where were you and how did those little ones get it? My 4 year old doesn't do that. If he wants something he will say kitchen if he needs juice or a snack. You're pretty much shaming most of us parents because we dont parent like you. Its shameful
Not exactly the video I wanted to watch on Mother’s Day. There’s better ways to make videos about parenting. You don’t have to shame another mom’s video.
A helpful example would have been if YOUR child actually said “no.” In this example, you’re simply showing the difference between a compliant and non compliant child, which kinda makes the parenting advise a moot point .
yes so true
It's the difference in approach and how the 2 moms bring up the matter. One poses it as a question first, opening it up to for a no response, and the other mom just says what's going to happen and redirects attention with a task.
That's what makes the child compliant or not.
Hahaha no. She’s showing the difference between an undisciplined child and a disciplined child. Do you think this happens by accident?😂 it takes a lot of work on the parents part.
@@MimiRAM0NE No it's not a difference in approach. She also asked her son for permission. She ends with Ok? Which leaves room for "No. Not ok." She just got lucky her kid didn't say no in that specific instance.
@@iloveanonymity493 She's not showing anything of value here, just showing off. Lets see how she handles it when her kids say no.
Every child is unique and responds differently. What works for one child won’t work for another. Control doesn’t always lie in the things we say/don’t say to our kids. Kids don’t follow cookie cutter rules. Every mama does their best and that should be applauded.
You are right, nor do you all have all day to work with this situation. "Just sayn'
yes and no. we allways can try and learn totally new ways that are more cooperative, less painfull, more healthy. each mother does their best but we all have a lot of blind spots. i used to teach law for people working with kids and just telling them: you are not allowed to yell and hit and humiliate would not work. people have to have tools at their hands and many did not grow up with being treated respectfull. so we had to talk about methods and often we agreed to try them out at home with their own kids. and in the end they perhaps could have learned a bit m ore about formal law. but i tought them enough so they knew what they had to know. but what i tought more than usual: the experience that it works and even makes you happy. and more relaxed. also the students bonded and had their own group to talk and help in difficult situations like an in formal supervision group.
I agree, every child is different, and the scenarios are different as well. The example right here, when your child says yes or ok, that's great it's awesome, but when your child says no or just pulls away or runs away that's a different situation. I think both moms are doing great, treating their kids with respect and kindness even if the kid says no to them.
Exactly this! And yes scennarios are totally different
Agreed, but every mom starts somewhere. The second mom didn’t get that level of success overnight. Watching her videos she’s trained her toddlers to effectively communicate and receive communication that favors the mom and the child.
Pls take the part of the first video down. It not necessarily to shame another woman just to get your point across. That is not nice at all. You can get your point across with just your own video and a little explaining.
Exactly. I’m sure the second mom never has any issues with her kids…:
Nobody is shaming anyone. Every parrent has some trouble with their kid. It's great to see such situations can happen to anyone.
@@pawemaliszewski9324except mom nr 2 things she is perfect...
she wasnt shaming her. The first woman has no control of that child. The aproaches are what she highlighted
The first part of the video SHOULD be shamed, because it’s a bad parent philosophy. That mom posted her video, so she can handle being criticized by other moms. She’s going to ruin her child by giving him too much autonomy too young. That, or she is going to ruin herself.
Mom shaming not required to show what a good mom you are. Not a good look imo.
You're also trying to shame though 😂
She just asked a question too. 😂 "I need to change your diaper. Ok?"
What if her toddler also says No to that?
Exactly.
Yes she said the same thing! Ok?
Basic toddler psychology says to never ask toddlers about nonnegotiable things. Saying it's time to do something works very well. They can't argue with the clock. I'm willing to let you sit in your poopy diaper but the clock says we have to change you.
She wasn't begging...the child's name is peace NOT please
I guess then they would be saying no to understanding the statement, not no to the request to change the diaper.
I think seeing lots of different examples is good. Not every day, even with the same child, will be the same.
The lady in the first video used exactly the same words, she also said she needs to change the diaper and asked "ok"? The only difference is that her child was not as eager to cooperate. In the later part of the first video she also gives the child a task, and they oblige. I don't see any differences in the two approaches, the only difference is the childrens first reaction. They also both cooperate later on (that part of the first video is not featured here)
I like a lot of your videos but this one felt like you were tearing down another mom to get your point across, which was unnecessary. We all make mistakes and that’s fine, as long as we learn from them. Please don’t do that again.
Yeah, I love your videos and take notes. This one in particular makes no sense, and you are, in fact, mom shaming.
I liked this creator til now. I’m sorry but you can be a “good parent” all you want but this video isn’t giving “good person”
Exactly.!!
She is allowed to criticize other parenting techniques, especially when those techniques are horrible advice to give to other parents. Bodily autonomy is not a priority until the child is potty trained. You should not be begging your child to let you change them, dress them, or take care of them. It is your job to take care of them. It is a policeman’s job to arrest unruly citizens and take them into custody. A policeman is not going to negotiate with you when he is needing to do his job. A parent should not negotiate with a child to change their diaper. Both should use calm, assertive authority without hostility, but they should not be as weak and non-authoritative as this mom.
I follow the person you are using as a bad example and she has helped me so much in this journey. Not all of us have compliant kids that are also verbal or neurotypical. She covers a lot of different areas and scenarios of dealing with happy and not so happy toddlers.
Your method is good, however, my son for example, HATES his diaper being changed and he would never bring me the diaper. So here I am, again, going back to the first video you posted trying to take a gentle approach with my son to respect his body and boundaries.
Let’s not mom shame instead showing other examples like you did was wonderful and I’m so happy you have that with your son
Thanks for the input! I'm not mom shaming, just showing other methods. I'm quite gentle with my children and don't buy in to that "asking permission from our children about boundaries" nonsense. I'm just here to show moms that you can take up the position a parent is supposed to be in - which is to be gentle but authoritative - and still get really positives results. If my kid HATED diaper changes, I would just teach him not to. Babies are blank slates, they don't know what they hate or don't hate. Everything is taught so why not teach behavior that makes things easy? 😊
@@livjowen I would speak to a child psychologist and confirm that if I were you. Children naturally have likes and dislikes due to sensation. I never taught my son to “dislike” diaper changes. How would you teach your kid to like it?
We also should most definitely be respecting our children’s boundaries as much as possible. We’re the ones teaching those boundaries in the first place by setting an example so they can continue to do this with other people.
Girl idk..
I wasn't talking about natural likes and dislikes due to sensation. I don't teach them to "like" getting their diaper changed, I teach my children to follow instructions and trust me, allowing me to change their diaper without them throwing a fit or a tantrum.
Of course I teach my children boundaries, probably more than most, but I don't buy into the idea that parents should ask permission from their children to do things, especially things like changing their diaper.
@@livjowen ok I must have misread your comment earlier because it did not seem like that lol
@brookiejai and I'm sorry if it was difficult to understand lol. I struggle with putting thoughts into writing sometimes 😅. Honestly though, thank you for commenting. I'd rather have a discussion with differing opinions than to never engage in conversation at all. You've made some very valid points and I know there is always something more to learn.
Not all kids are the same😂
Exactly
The one in the first video seemed spoilt.
That just saying felt like disrespectful to the other mom. You shouldn’t shame her for some other method she uses. Also the kid might lack that behavior that you say is right. Plus soon the other kid will grow up and it will be no problem. You didn’t need to shame the other mom.
No mother needs to let their child walk all over them. That's how we raise children who are disobedient. It could be that the other mother didn't know and there are Definitely more ways to raise a child than one that work and are effective. My personal favorite is to pick the baby up and change it before it knows what's going on.
I take it your not a mom. Plus that mom is wore out doesn't know what to do.
@@lisagalloway6230 ok not trying to fight I’m just stating my opinion that I get that the other mom wasn’t doing the right thing but I’m just saying that she shouldn’t shame the other mom because she doesn’t know what else to do.
Yes. Please don't compare. What do you know what she's great at. Are you undermining the Asian /whoever mother. Your arrogance is so loud and palpable. Be humble. God bless you ❤️
That first video was unnecessary. You could have just done yours and it still would have worked without shaming the other mother.
My thoughts exactly the second I watched this.
The same
It is shameful to do what the first mom is doing. Begging your child to change their diaper is NOT it.
Ummm wats the difference? U just happened to catch ur child not saying no😅
If he can understand all that then he can understand to go on the toilet . So instead of him running to get the nappy and wipes you run and put him to the toilet
How sad that this mother would use her parenting skills to compare with a video of another mother …. This video is just pregnant with too much cringe on all respects
Asking okay? Is a bad habit. You can give them mental shift time. Hey, go grab a diaper, we're gonna make you clean and dry in a minute. Don't ask. Direct. Keep 'em moving.😊
35 years ago, my first kid taught me that if I ended a sentence with “OK?”, she thought it was a request and could say “YES or NO”. Same sentence without “OK?”, and she knew I was telling her what was going to happen. If I wanted to make sure she understood, (which I think is what we mean when we add “OK?”) then I asked her, “Do you understand?”
One time, when she was almost 3, I told her to do something then repeated it. When she didn’t acknowledge me, I asked if she could hear my voice. She said “Yes.” I asked “Do you understand my words?” “Yes”, she said. So then I asked “What’s the problem that you’re not doing XYZ?”
Then, with all the attitude of a threenager, she explained, “Mother, I’m disobeying you!” (I died laughing on the inside) 😂
‘Threenagers!!’ 🤣🤣🤣 they are quite something!! Mine is 7 now and well, I guess she’s going on 17! 😩😂
"Mother i am disobeying you! >:U" incredible 😂
See I have trouble holding the laughter in with these moments cause honey THAT is hilarious 😂😂😂
My daughter is almost 33z. The threenager and fournager years almost killed me😂😂😂
Okay, but it’s not like she can control what her daughter says. The little girl could’ve just as easily said no to a direct statement “I need to change your diaper”.
thats mom shaming... each child is different n parenting is different. if its not working change it. its thats simple! thats for any situation . thankfully for me as a child the look was enough to straighten up . my sister not so much.... we all have to research, listen to others n try things out to find what works. i see why my mom told me about other moms being very judgmental... cant imagine how my mom felt when i was a baby being deaf and sick all the time. it would had been better if you not shown the video and said it a better way. like if your child is saying no to a request to change your diaper
try this method to help your little one understand what you are asking with simple steps...
hes gonna grow up to see this and probably think of your differently .
the first mom wasn’t begging, “Peace” is the child’s name, but it did sound like she was saying “please”
WOW!! What a PERFECT Mommy you are!!! Especially the part where you “put down” another fellow Mommy! Being so PERFECT, you should’ve known that you NEVER, EVER “Mom Shame” another Mommy! You lost me as a Subscriber, right then and there!!!
Just a point of clarity for those who may not realize: she isnt saying please shes saying peace which is her childs name
So does this make you a better mother. Way to put another mom down and putting it out there. Grow up
(1) is is developmentally appropriate for children that age to say no occasionally (2) I appreciate the mom’s vulnerability mom to post the no video (3) I am so glad you were able to capture your toddler on camera being cooperative!
Yeah, you're just saying that you're a better mother....
My kid says NO and runs🤣
I get that she might be trying to help the other mother. However, her tone of voice seems quite opposite. No disrespect, but this seems like mom shaming to me...
Yes. It's Arrogance arrogance all the way 👎👎
But no two moments are the same with toddlers…my child is like both of these children all day long
As someone who grew up with Asian parents, they never asked me for permission for anything, especially when I was a toddler. It was always commands or demands and if there was enough resistance from me, I get hit! That clip was so weird.
Hell, now that I think of it, to this day its either commands or demands. Nothings changed. 😄
Plus different aged kids? It's totally developmentally normal for older kids to resist more.
How would you react, when Hudson would answer "no" to your question ..." I need to change your dieper"??
That’s why I hate this conversation. You don’t accept “no” as an answer. You don’t ask them if you can change their diaper. You tell them what you’re doing, pick them up if they are being uncooperative, and change their damn diaper. Waiting for “consent” from a two year old is ridiculous.
@@RT-zn9bj 👍that's the way it is
And my grandmother also had 7 children, she was a lovingly Person. But I don't think she had enough time to communicate this way all day long
So how about you just take care of your child no matter what they say because you're the parent and they are the child.
Have you not had a child who is strong-willed & just straight up doesn’t want their diaper changed just because? Please think before posting videos like this. Makes a lot of us feel like bad moms & there’s no reason for that. Toddlers can be difficult, especially strong-willed ones. You show the best videos of your kids reacting to your correcting & disciplining. We all know that social media isn’t real life.
Mom shaming just to prove what ?? She also asked the same question evry child responds differently depending on their moods ....u need to be unsubscribed
My daughter taught me to no ask my grandkids, just take them to do it! These moms are giving their toddlers to much permission! Saves a lot of arguments!
I also believe that’s the case. Too many mothers and fathers are giving the kids the reins and letting the kids run the household. And that’s why they can’t do a bloody thing with them by the time they turn into teenagers. They lost control of them when they were two when they were asking their children permission to do everything.
You don’t ask them, you tell them or you direct them. They don’t have a say on whether or not you’re going to change their diaper. It’s going to happen and if you don’t want me changing your diapers, then come in here and sit on this toilet, and do what you need to do. Those are the choices we gave ours.
This was really tacky. Kids are different.
And to the person doing the video, calling out another mother, if your kid is smart enough to go and get a diaper and some wipes, put that child on the potty and quit letting him pee and poop in his pants he is plenty old enough to start.
I actually watch you and took a few things from you; however, it’s not fair and completely unmotherlike to put down another mother, every child is different and every mother knows their own child best and knows how to respond. The first mother simply did what’s best and what works for her child hoping to help other mothers with children like her own. You didn’t even show the full video, in the end the first mother was actually successful. You didn’t show the outcome of her method and so this is all biased. We need to normalise that mothers need to start supporting other mothers.
Isn't this shaming another mum? Let's be supportive
Wow, this must be the lousiest parenting video ever. YOUR kid didnt say no because you're just lucky. Dont kid yourself. Other kids are different and other parents are good parents regardless of your liusy vudeos trying to make a buck on your kids on social media.
Lousy comment. These parents are not "lucky" but consistently put in the work...I don't dare ask how your kids behave.
@@211Maree No she's just lucky. She clearly didn't show what happens when the kid says no for a reason
Lmao she randomly got lucky and thinks she’s some pro 😂 I can’t with some people. Maybe she’ll have more kids and be humbled at some point
@@211Mareelet me guess.. u have one child right? Ur lucky honey. Trust.
When I worked in daycare, the kids were changed routinely, the sweethearts would say thank you❤ avoid the power struggles with asking...the kids that Resisted usually were dry😂 just checking buddy 😅
My son just walked up to me, pointed to his butt and said yuck... 😆
Who the hell asks their child if they want a diaper change. Basic care is not a choice. So you're going to let your child walk around in a poop diaper all day until they say yes, so that diaper can get filled with pee to the point its falling apart until the child agrees to get a change. Yeah im going to look at you funny. You're teaching the child mommy cant tell me what to do.
The comment section is brutal. Y'all really love hurting this mom. Honestly, all her videos have people tearing her down in the comment section, like give her a chance and try to understand her. See the good in her parenting and if you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself. Don't try to fight with her on her own channel.
She's a mom of 7 children, she clearly has more mom experience than 98% of you so try to learn from her instead of looking for everything you see wrong in her. No one is perfect. And nobody can live up to your expectations. So don't make her follow your rules.
The first part of this video was completely unnecessary to make your point and educate. Giving *mean girl* vibes, not *mature educational mom* vibes.
This is mom shaming. Every mom is trying her best. Let's not do this to one another.
Lay down was so cute!!❤
Wow. I was enjoying your videos until now. Kinda disgusting shaming another Mom like that. We should be supporting each other. Build up, not put down. Very sanctimonious.
This is the first time i disagree with you and your approach, giving this mother as a bad example when her situation is so different. Show us Hudson saying no and your full method.
I dont ask my 1yr ild to change her daiper i tell her its time for a daiper change, and she still says no.... not all babies have the same attitude towards diapering. So this isnt very helpful.
Mom is saying "Peace" = child's name, NOT "please" = begging
I feel like you didn’t answer the question. What if the kid says no? Then what? Yes if they don’t say no that’s great
I don't think you guys are realizing what the differences are, In the first question the woman is asking her child if she wants to change her diaper ending it would please which is essentially having the child make a decision... In the second clip the mom is telling the child she needs to change her diaper which is routine and following it up with an okay... Which lets the child know it's happening right now okay. But it also gives the child a moment to give the appropriate response.... Things like this are situationally based in my house non-negotiables are things like sitting down for meals, clearing your table, throwing away your garbage, changing your diaper, getting shoes and coats on when it's time to go...
You give very helpful advice! Though, where do you get this level of self-control and patience?😅 Are there any tricks? I would very much appreciate the answer❤
Also, every child will go through an autonomy stage. Even the most compliant child. So you will have your turn of No's eventually. Which is a good thing for development.
You should mind your business
That woman put that video out in public therefore she made it her business.
Hopefully it is one mother trying to help another through what is sometimes referred to as ' the terrible two's'.
I love your gentle parenting videos but in this case, the comparison was very unfair. Your boy and the little girl seem to have a very different nature. The other parent certainly needed to be more strict but it wouldn't perhaps be as easy as you made it seem.
You do not know the circumstances under which the other parent lives. This is an awfully smug, judgemental video. Shame on you for believing you are better. You are not and have just proven that.
I never asked them. I just told them "come here, I am going to change your diaper". I am not going to ask permission and I am certainly not tolerating "NO" from my child.
But you are adding an "OK?" at the end of your statement to him. What if he says no?? Stick with statements of fact. " Hey Hudson, I need to change your diaper."
I usually like your videos for advice but this one made me a bit upset about the comparisons. My toddler also is quite stubborn but that’s not to say I’m doing anything wrong. I’m maybe going to unfollow which is sad but I don’t really want this type of videos on my feed
That's what most mothers do now. The child is in charge accept gor the last mother. She's great.
Don't even say, "Okay?" Just say, "Time to change your diaper. Get a diaper and wipes..."
Don't ask questions unless you can accept the answer. You're negotiating is as bad as the first Mom . We ARE changing your diaper do you want this one or that one. Autonomy and decision making is best developed with true choices.
Some mummies are so good to an extent...they train their toddlers continuously to an extent even when he or she is about to poop...she feels it and tells mummy.
I have an 18mo old who FIGHTS me on diaper changes. Like he’s the best most helpful and independent guy but diaper change? Nah. And we will be starting potty training soon because of it. But I let him now “I need to change diaper to keep you safe. Sorry baby, not a choice.” And he screams the whole time and I repeat it. It really is not a choice. I will not beg. I will not be pushed away. And I will tolerate the meltdown while I change it. But it is not a choice. All kids are different. But it’s important to set expectations and boundaries. Ours littles are capable of so much more than we think. And I wonder if everyone treated them more like tiny adults versus incompetent babies if everyone would see them rise to the occasion.
Good tips, i have used similr methods and they work. Expectations will be met even by one year olds. People seem to think that one year olds do not understand.
My one year old likes to take stuff out of big brothers room but a quick put that back John, and he will turn right around at return the item
Arrogance. Arrogance. Not good
Yeah that's the part when you tell the child that wasn't a question. I'm telling you what we are doing. Problem solved.
Yes!! We need to stop our children from owning us and we need to take ownership over them! They are our responsibility and we are responsible for their behavior.
Let's just say that there are some kids who don't understand that you're trying to help them with their hygiene. Autistic children who have trouble even responding to their own name are a bit more of a struggle.
My son was like this too. Would pass me the diaper amd wipes and then he realized he is more than capable of saying no and that I can't just force him. Now he'll fight me on it but eventually will lay down
This woman was already torn down why would you go and make her feel like a failure... you're horrible for even thinking this
Please make another video… when they’re 3 😆. But good point about arguing with a baby.
We do cloth diapers and my child can find both pieces of diaper and wipes or underwear during the day and is so proud they helped mommy
You are doing great but now after having 2nd baby I think it depends on baby too...my 1st one is so calm ND sorted...but my 2.5 Yr old is full of storm...being very frustrating to tackle him
When you have cooperating child that does what you ask of them, it doesn't make you a better parent than the one with uncooprative/difficult child. No shaming necessary,
Why criticise another mum to show us an alternative? Also you haven't really showed us how you got Hudson to that point.
I absolutely love your videos and admire how you gentle parent. The kindness and patience you show in those videos is something I hope to gain. Saying all that, this video seems like you are just shaming the first mom. Your example of your son isn’t even comparable bc your son is being compliant. This just feels judgey and like you know you are a better parent. It’s ok to approach this in a way more humble way where someone can actually learn how to handle their child in a similar situation
In india we don't ask.. we just catch the kid and change his/her diper
You don’t ask, you tell them you need to do it!
I find it somewhat arrogant to judge another mom like that. That's just wrong. After all, who knows how many recordings it took to show off your perfectly rehearsed diaper-change-scenario...just sayin.. ;))
Some parents allow the behaviour.If that was my child ,after she said no....I would have gently walked up to her and pick her up and got on with business.Period
Any advise for the none verbal phase when they still refuse? Like from 11-14 months?
It’s painful to watch a mom who can’t exert authority over a 2-year old. The child can’t have a discussion on an adult level. I admire mom #2 who teaches her little ones to mind, cooperate, show respect, etc. The first mom is teaching her child that she, the mom, is not in charge. Small issue now, big issue later.
Excellent job with your children. Do what works and you think it is best for you and your family.
The thing is- Hudson said yes. That’s completely the opposite from what she showed. What if he had said no to you.
Hudson and mom are amazing!
Still making too much fuss..from day one just say come on its nappy change..job done...
Right? It's really as hard as she was making it.
Stop judging her. You don't know what the child might be struggling with may be illness or ahdh or autism or just toddler phase. There are so many abusive parents out there. What she did is nothing wrong. She can talk to
Her child any way she wants.
You shouldn't mom shame her. If you want to show how your kid is trained just show the second part of video. Not the first to show "bad mom" reference by you
So much judging, some children are not as compliant as her child. All children respond in different ways.She is blessed her child is easy going.
I never asked my daughter when her diaper needed to be change I just told her let's change your diaper and did it they are small children they need to know mum is in authority and is in charge they don't need to agree or not, this is about their care, if they don't like it and cry I would talk with calm but firm voice and that's all until everything is done. It's also valid what she does, making it seems like fun to the toddler and even helping but he will not always be in the mood for that so they just have to know it has to be done and that's all, they are too small to give them participation in certain things. It's what I think
This poor kid is trained like a dog
Every child is different you just have to figure out how to make the child adapt. My kids are Spaniard, Filipino, Bruneian & Chinese decent both fully potty trained at 18months old.
I've been in both boats, girls. it's not easy ...
Yeah. This works for your kid because every kid is different not because you're doing a better. My first child was like yours. My second child is like the first video. 😂
I have two toddlers and I say sometimes “no” isn’t an option. Especially when it comes to day to day things like diaper changes and bath time. I still allow my child to have a mind of their own. My 1 year old says all the time “no” It’s just her favorite word at the moment. Doesn’t mean I listen to her like she’s the parent. I knew someone that let their baby sit in a dirty diaper for a long time just bc the child told them they didn’t want a change. At that point in my eyes it’s just laziness and bad parenting.
can we just ignore the fact that you are a judger? #1 parent rule is NOT to be a judger because YOUR kid most likely WILL do something that someone will judge some day.
My 2 year old gets a diaper and wipes and thinks it’s SO funny to YEET it at me from a few feet away lmao. And then it’s even more funny if I catch it
😭 if i was that asian lady, i wouldn't even put my daughter saying no on the internet😭 when that child grows up, she'll feel so embarrassed that the whole world got to see her disrespect to her mom as a toddler. Actually, what did the mom expect, did she expect the whole word to comfort her and talk bad about her daughter. 😭 i feel so bad for that lady.
What about you not watching your children when they got the cookies? Where were you and how did those little ones get it? My 4 year old doesn't do that. If he wants something he will say kitchen if he needs juice or a snack. You're pretty much shaming most of us parents because we dont parent like you. Its shameful
Not exactly the video I wanted to watch on Mother’s Day. There’s better ways to make videos about parenting. You don’t have to shame another mom’s video.