ARE FRENCH PEOPLE RUDE?! Exploring the stereotype in depth
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2024
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One of the biggest stereotypes about the French is that they are oh SO rude. This video explores this stereotype, hopefully answering the often-searched questions "why are the French so rude" or "why are Parisians so rude?"! In exploring different aspects of French Culture, I hope to provide insights from the outside looking in and perhaps even debunk some of the biggest myths and stereotypes about French people!
Culture is a funny thing and it's often the perceptions of the French and the stereotypes of the French that already have you expecting a certain reality. Let's try to view the topic of french rudeness or the stereotypical rude French waiter from another point of view!
If you are visiting Paris for the first time or visiting France and want to avoid French culture then I know you will love my other videos! I talk about French culture tips, visiting France, French stereotypes vs the reality and so much more based on my experience of being an expat in France!
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The trinity "Bonjour", "Merci", "Au revoir" is an excellent magic formula that will work not only in France but also almost everywhere in the world. However it's incomplete and the full formula is in 4 parts and works even better: "Bonjour", "S'il vous plaît" [please], "Merci", "Au revoir".
Bonus points can be awarded when addressing someone who is busy if you add "Excusez-moi" or "Pardon" [excuse me] just after the "Bonjour" to show that you're aware and sorry to disturb.
I agree for the most part. Though in the US I wouldn't say hello if I entered an elevator or a doctor's office. Is that just a general hello to the room?
@@RiseUpToYourAbility Yes
@@RiseUpToYourAbility if you say hello in France you're never doing something wrong, even if some ppl may not answer you for some reason.
Is salut a decent substitute for bonjour or would bonjour be considered more polite or something like that
@@SleepParalysisDemon920 Salut/bonjour is about the same difference as hi/hello. Salut is fine in a casual and friendly context. Bonjour is more neutral and better suited for addressing people you don't know or in a formal context. Nobody should feel insulted if you say salut. At worst they will think you're a little bit too familiar.
Its so so true. Im from S.Korea and Ive been to Paris once. Before I went there, I tried to memorize some basic sentences, like Hi, Thankyou, Can u speak English, two cafe lattes please, something useful like these lol. And I spent five to six days in Paris and Ive never encountered service workers being rude to me eventho it was the busiest time of the year. They were smiling and trying to be helpful!
고맙슴니다. Kindness and stupidness are all around the world. Thank you for your understanding. Most of people tend to generalize to all people of one country just by a few days experience and the few people the met during their trip.
As a Singaporean tourist, I received the same treatment. And yes, I also learned some useful French words before going there.
South Corea is another place famous for rude people, so you probably did not even notice when you were treated with disdain.
Saying "Bonjour" is really important in France, if you don't well....
Il a pas dit bonjour du coup,....
Bah va en Amérique alors on te retiens pas
On peut voir les choses comme ça, mais c'est limité
@@princ8812 tu vas survivre avec les pourboires mdr
don´t say bonjour sing it :-)
Mais je trouve que même si on dit « bonjour » et qu’on soit polit, les gens sont même pas gentils... 🙄
As a Frenchman I have to say this is very accurate! There is one thing I would add regarding the service in restaurants: we like it subtle!!
I'm currently studying in the United States so this is what I'll compare it to. In the U.S. waiters are expected to be taking care of customers at all times and I think the best example of this is water:
American waiters fill your glass and then keep coming back to the table to fill it again whenever it's empty while in France they would fill your glass at first and then leave the pitcher on the table, which never happens in the States. Having the waiter come back and fill your glass is considered good service by Americans but in France it would be regarded as intrusive (meals are important moments remember?) and somewhat disrupting. A good waiter in France does not interrupt and is only there when you need it!
There are different approaches and expectations to service in these two countries.
This is very true. I moved to the USA from Australia and I hate that they won't leave the pitcher on the table over in the US. Even if I ask them to. So I have to turn around and ask for more water or have constant disruption.
As a server many customers tip you lower if their water runs out and it’s considered very ‘low class’ to leave a pitcher on the table, many cheaper family style restaurants may leave a pitcher of pop on the table. Ironically at some styles of more ‘upper class/fine dining’ they may leave a small carafe which is seen as more dignified.
So I have been a server in the US in high end restaurants, and the reason it doesn't seem intrusive here when the server fills your water again and again is that 1. They are trained to stay out of the way and sort do it without the guest seeing , and 2. The guests are trained to (very rudely) completely ignore your presence. You are to be not noticed. And so we fill the water constantly because the guest should not feel any concern that they are running out of water, they should not feel the need to ration it. The pitcher being left on the table solves this problem, BUT the guest should never lift a finger.
This all sounds demoralizing, but actually in some situations it is fun because it is like role playing, these are very old-school, American old-money rules, and when giving someone the experience for the first time it's fun to see how amazed they are at the level of service and how grateful they are for the special evening
True, the French take it slower, most Americans only get 30 minutes at best for lunch, some get none, and people work any time of day or night, so servers rush to keep them on schedule especially during peak hours when it’s busy. That is partly because the more they can turn the tables over the more money they make, but also because Americans often have a tight schedule and they are usually going somewhere else after dinner, or back to work. Even though people sometimes think they’re lazy, they actually work very hard and usually overschedule themselves. People think Americans make a lot of money but they also have a high cost of living, and people can work full-time jobs and still be homeless and not own a car, not even a bad one.
For water in the table, in the South, they often will leave a pitcher of tea (sweet tea = hospitality, so if the pitcher of sweet tea is placed on the table as you’re seated and you didn’t even ask for any, that’s a welcome, it’s gratis as well). If you want water or unsweetened tea, just ask for it, and a pitcher if you want a lot. The South is hot, and tea is their cure, their refresher, their tradition. In a restaurant, most places anywhere in the US are happy to bring you a carafe of water after filling your glasses if you prefer it, and they’re more than happy to not have to come back and check on you. Same with wine, they’ll leave the carafe or bottle for you to pour.
I think in most places of the world, if you just politely state your needs, whether you are pressed for time or not (and people out there, if you’re pressed for time, ask upfront if your tight time schedule is feasible, and if it isn’t, politely withdraw and go somewhere else), they are usually happy to adjust accordingly if people just express themselves politely and not expect, but inquire. I see a lot of comments from extremely boorish people who expect servers to be servants, (Ça n’est pas la même chose!), and mind readers as well. None of them deserve any service at all.
I worked with two people from France a long time ago. A woman who was from the countryside and a man who was from Paris. Both were younger(early 20's or so). The young woman was very nice. The guy was a bit more guarded and introverted. It took a while for him to warm up to people. I wouldn't really call him rude though. My other experiences with French people(visiting the US)was mostly positive. Nonetheless, I have to say based on everything I have heard I would not go to France(especially not Paris).
I'm an American who doesn't speak French at all besides "s'il vous plaît, merci, and bonjour" and I went to Paris for a week and never had a bad encounter. Of course it was somewhat awkward when I tried to communicate with someone who didn't know English, but no one was rude to me. While restaurant service was slow, most of them only had one or two servers so it's understandable. After working minimum wage jobs you learn to be nice to people working. I think that the people who thought Parisians are rude were probably rude themselves, lol. Just be polite and kind and your world is a whole lot easier.
In Italy its the same thing. Napolitans think the North are a bunch of snobs and the Northerners think that the
Sicilians and Calabrese are a bunch of country bumpkins. I liked the south of Italy better since they were friendly.
Honestly, that's what I was when I was in Paris both times. I was a super self conscious American and was as polite as possible, but I was just constantly talked to in English and in a pretty curt manner. Perhaps I just had a run of bad luck. Or maybe my accent was just too cringeworthy because the friend I was with had a better reception from people (and she speaks the language much better). She spoke it better than me, and I could understand it and read it better than her.
@@beckyweiss6072 I'm the same, I can understand and read english really well but I'm really bad when I need to speak it. But it's a thing people cannot understand except if you tell them. To be honest I think people spoke to you in english because they saw you had a hard time and wanted to be nice to you. I think you should just tell them they can speak to you in french because you understand it and they'll happily do it (we don't really like to speak english, we hear our accent and it's cringy). However if you're in a busy restaurant and want to "use this chance" to "practice your french" well ... the waiter may not have the time to try to understand your words through you awfull accent. In a much idle restaurant ? The waiter will be impressed and will be a lot nicer than usual (you take the time to learn his language after all).
@@lolabee5238 I had a lot more luck doing that literally everywhere in France except Paris. The people in the northern provinces were the friendliest (Normandy and Brittany); I remember a lady at a crepe stand being so patient and friendly as I attempted to order a crepe in French (I was in high school at the time). South Central (Avignon) and Southern France (Nice) were....ok? There was a shop woman in Nice who was willing to speak French to me when I attempted it but she wasn't terribly friendly (perhaps I caught her on a bad day).
Paris though......that's the only place I ran into issues. If I can ever get a chance to return I'll definitely remember what you said though. I'll have to gauge if the person seems open to it as well.
@@beckyweiss6072 yeah I feel the same. Sometimes people just respond to others better for whatever reason. Even if you are polite, you can still get rude people. I went with my Mom and she's polite,but really kinda slow, and she didn't hear very well. And there were some rude French women that were annoyed with her. But then a kind French lady helped her out. So yeah, I personally think there are nice and rude people everywhere. Also, I think Parisians are more like New Yorkers where things are more fast paced.
In french we say "le client est roi, mais quand le rois abuse, on lui coupe la tête"#louis xvi. "
I love that. As an American, our customer service tends to either be nonexistent or way too aggressive and insincerely "sweet." And having worked in retail, there are some customers (not most) who KNOW that if they make a big enough stink, they will get whatever they want... and usually do. If someone is abusive, they should instead be told to take their business elsewhere.
N'importe quoi! Perso jamais entendu cette expression. :-P
(Not true, maybe some people say that but I never heard it)
Matthieu Ferrier je pense que c'était de l'humour
le roi est mort
Honestly I never heard that. And Louis XVI is not a bad king we had some problems and it went too late to change the society or status like today we can't change Air France, Sncf and all the privileges we get as rights (all the money we get). Religious thing was not in 1789 so important as we usually think today.
Hey! I'm parisian (well technically I'm a francilienne cause I live in the suburbs)... I can tell you that: If you are lost in Paris, people WHO ARE NOT in a rush/ coming from work/ tired or sick will just come to you and be really happy to help ^^ We have so little time but when we do, we 're always happy to help, give advice or share something about Paris not matter how long it takes! :) Yeah we might look grumpy but we always have so many things to do and the transports are NEVER working properly (RER is even worse than the metro)... so yeah, that might explain why we don't look warm and nice.... xD
Oh and I'm also working as a sales assistant in Châtelet and I can tell you that when you spend many hours running everywhere because the shop is always full, it is nice to have friendly and patient custommers! Some tourists can be really mean sometimes because they don't see us as human beings but as servants ... we just want some empathy! If you're nice and patient, you'll have an amazing shopping experience ;) So as you say "be nice first" ;) nice video btw ^^
That is so true. I was lost in my map somewhere around Sacre Coeur and an older lady asked me where I want to go.
This was so nice and I remember it years after.
Shoutout to the friendly lady et merci beaucoup!
Your bit on France being a very hierarchical society still, which explains why low-ranked professionals like waiters or else can remind you from time to time that they're human beings with a dignity, is the best description of the "French bad service" complex I've ever heard...Goes straight to my heart, you're so smart.
Je pense que ça vient du fait que les clients français ne se comportent pas comme les clients américains ou neo-zelandais ou japonais.
Dans les boutiques par exemple en général les clients français n'aiment pas être ennuyés par les vendeurs et vendeuses. Ils sont individualistes, aiment leur intimité, et préfèrent choisir eux mêmes. Les vendeurs respectent ce choix et en général ils surveillent de loin les personnes et se tiennent prêtes à intervenir quand ils voient que le client commence à se poser des questions.
Dans les restaurants c'est la même chose. Un serveur qui viendrait toutes les 10 minutes à la table d'un client serait perçu comme intrusif. Par contre le serveur sera très compétent pour vous conseiller le bon vin, vous aider dans la ville ou vous êtes, etc.
Je suis complètement d'accord avec toi, et j'adore ne pas être biaisée par le conseil du vendeur mais plutôt faire mes propres choix. Et pourtant je suis américaine ;) en plus souvent quand je vouvoie quelqu'un la plupart du temps on me réponds "tu peux me tutoyer".
tellement vrai, au Brésil je n'en pouvais plus de l'empressement des vendeurs, j'avais l'impression qu'on me faisait du forcing , qu'on m'empêchait de réfléchir indépendamment à ce que je voulais, aimais ou pas . ILs étaient tous très sympas , mais fondamentalement, ça m’oppressait, j'ai préféré les pays de l'est , les slaves sont "pires" que les français, si on leur sourit , ils se demandent pourquoi on se fout de leur gueule :p j'ai trouvé plus facile de m'adapter.
Alors, je suis tout a fait d'accord mais je voudrais quand même ajouter un petit bémol. Je pense que le désir d'indépendance des clients français dépend du genre de magasin où ils sont. Je travaille dans une enseigne qui fait librairie/multimédia/high Tech etc.. Et parfois, qu'est ce que les clients sont assistés ! Ils ont tout sous les yeux mais ne font tout simplement pas attention, et si quelqu'un n'est pas disponible immédiatement pour les aider c'est tout un drame.
C'est d'ailleurs très frustrant lorsque l'on va à l'étranger. Quand j'étais au Canada ou au Japon je me trouvais souvent très con à dire "Bonjour", "Merci", "Au revoir". J'étais le seul à le dire et l'employé ne me répondait jamais :D
J'suis d'accord, quand j'étais allé en Irlande, ça m'agaçait que les serveurs viennent nous déranger pendant qu'on mangeait, même si c'est juste un "everything is fine?", ça énerve surtout quand on est en train de parler ^^
I’m French (Parisian to be precise) and I’m so pleased you made this video, and pretty suprised because everything you said in it is SO accurate! Finally someone understand us, thanks God!!!
Parigot tête de veau
+Cosi did you know in france this insult is using by baby and children ?😂😂😂 just be cool, take a glass of wine 😉
+Olivier Ziou 😂😂
@@Alix777. Provincial, tête de chacal.
@@lanahathaway5117 +Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
We are Canadian and learned about basic greetings and manners and some French and we had such a wonderful time in France. Strangers were so helpful.
I am glad you mentioned cultural differences. I've been living in France for twelve years and have yet to experience rudeness. My observations from life and travel is that people respond to how we treat them.
I'm french and I never understood why other countries were thinking french are rude until I moved to the US. Now I really understand why they think that! In France you can't just talk with someone you don't know in the street because it would be strange (I don't why). Also it's still strange for me when someone ask me "Hey, how are you?" because in France we don't have that, we only say Bonjour and if it's someone you know then you'll ask how was his day or something like that.
Plus, I'm from Lyon and when I go to Paris I'm almost considered as a tourist (because I don't know the city) and I think people in Paris are more rude than other places in France where they don't have like you said a "tourist hangover" and it's understandable I guess.
Finally, I think french people are a little bit afraid to speak English (because we are very bad in English :p) so if you only speak English and you don't try to speak French sometimes people won't talk to you because of that. (try to say Bonjour instead of Hi or Hello when you talk to someone it will a lot better trust me).
Cool video btw ;)
I'm also French and I agree with most of what's said in the video. Politeness standards and relationships between people (especially in a customer context) really depends on the country. I've never been to the US but I've lived in Japan for 3 months, and there are a lot of differences between our French ways and theirs : they are also very strict about the basic greetings like Hello and Thank You, but the customer service are so polite and formal that they kinda seem like robots doing their job and you almost don't notice them when you pay for something.
Apparently it's the same thing in the US where the customer service is always extra polite and stuff.
I think that maybe in France we tend to keep the same level of formality for everyone, stangers or customer service, which is at some kind of middle level, when in the US people on the street are very friendly and stuff but the waiters are too formal.
Yes! When I went to the US I was surprised at the same things. I am not French though, although I am learning and absolutely love France
Le "hey, how are you?" je le trouve quand même pas mal hypocrite (pour rebondir sur un passage de la vidéo). La plupart du temps y'a pas vraiment de réponse attendue, ils enchaînent juste sur un autre sujet! Et puis qui est-ce qui répondrait "I'm having a really bad day, what about you? " :p sinon, j'adore l'exemple de la pêche et la noix de coco!
Angélique Meyer oui il est bizarre cet exemple... on dit bien : " salut, ça va?" .
I tend to find that after exchange of ca va, ça va et toi, there will be a awkward silence coming...
Damn, this girl really understands our frenchness! Please foreigners, watch this video before coming to France. Merci.
Amen! la série I have been in France 7 times, in Every single other country I have been to I liked the people better
Il faut avouer ,elle nous a bien cernés
because they are peaches and so are you. You want our trust? earn it.
People in Great Britain Netherlands,Italy etc. are way more cooler and nicer than french people
MarkYannick What other countries have you visited?
"The customer is not the king", as a french waiter myself, I would like to thank you about that whole part ! You're so right ! In this work, I meet a lot of very rude people (and a lot of very nice ones thankfully !) and I admit I can be very cold to them if i feel like they're disrespecting me (or at least, not respecting me enough). But if they're polite and kind, I will imediatly be a lot warmer and cheerful.
The customer is always right, they pay your bills and they're paying for your work. Technically they are the boss.
@@jethroteece4750 doesn't mean they can't be nice and respectful people ;)
@@jethroteece4750 doesn’t mean they’re always right. They’re humans not machines
@@jethroteece4750 Maybe you lower your pants for every client that passes your door, but in France, respect is very important, more than business. We are here to help and serve you, the more warm possible but disrespect us and you will be thrown on the street right away.
The service is maybe "Slow" because good food need to be Fresh/prepared, and 3 minutes is impossible to make some good food in a proper restaurant.
thats so true !!! :-)
It’s not slow, it’s just correct, because someone is creating a meal, using well prepared, real food. If people want something fast, they can go eat something from a box or a snack bag. The French prepare real food. If people don’t like that, I think they should stay the hell home. They don’t deserve that is being offered. And yes, I’m American. We aren’t all boorish blockheads.
@@misskim2058 Most of the time, restaurants (in tourist areas in particular) do serve industrial ready-prepared dishes and no "real" home made food.
In France, you can wait a long long time just to get acknowledge by the waiter and get a simple cup of coffee. Getting the bill can also be a hard struggle (even of French people).
@@pounet2 tu sort ca d ou ? si tu vas dans une chaine de restaurant je dis pas mais sinon tkt que les p'tits restau ce casse un peu plus le cul que ca
@@Trods911 Bah... Tu vas rue de la Harpe, s'il y a un resto, avec leurs cartes longues comme le bras qui ne changent pas d'un iota selon la saison, dont la moitié des plats (et je suis sympa) ne sort pas directement de chez Metro, je serais surpris.
Des restos (petits ou non d'ailleurs) qui font des plats préparés sur place, ça existe, oui... malheureusement, ce n'est pas la majorité. Je n'ai pas de stats pour étayer cette affirmation, mais vu la carte de certains restos et ce que tu trouves dans ton assiette, c'est une évidence.
Ensuite, je préfère tjs un bon plat Métro qu'un Mc Donald, ou encore qu'une pizza ou un plat de pâtes préparés sur place mais immangeables.
Ce qui m'énerve, c'est les restos qui servent le combo "soupe à l'oignon", "escargots", "confit de canard" et "crème brûlée" afin de faire "cuisine locale française de tradition" et dont 100% des plats viennent de chez Métro.
You are so open-minded. It's so great. As a French person I wish we'd speak English a lot better. I've noticed that sometimes people seemed very rude only because they were feeling so uncomfortable failing at exchanging with a foreign person. And I wish the world knew that France, as a whole, is not like Paris. I do think that France people can be rude sometimes but not as much as in Paris!
The rudest thing about French ppl is thinking Elsaß Lothringen is French!
Mensch danke ! You made me laugh !
Claire Pom I do think that you're still conveying a stereotype on French Parisians. And as said in this video, you will see many rude persons in Paris but like anywhere else in the world ! So first, wonder why they seem rude to you before judging them...
From a Parisian man.
Non les parisiens sont de grands malades on ne peut plus rien faire pour eux
I went to the French riviera and they treated me really bad, so it is not just paris.
As a french, I found that vid very interesting.
who cares
@@Alix777. obviously her
@@padraic5020 brunzyn
I’m a French man and I’ve been living in the UK for 5 years, I’ve recently discovered your videos. I am amazed at how well you understand French culture and behaviours! How long have you been in Paris for? I only wish I could understand English people the way you understand French people! Well done :)
How are you finding the experience? My boyfriend is having a hard time adapting to the u.k. He is also French
Hi I am a spanish girl living in Paris and you are absolutely right.Most of the time the way you treat people is the way you will be treated.If you're kind and nice most of the time people will be nice and kind with you as well.Thank you so much for the great video and the very useful and smart tipps. Happy New Year! Bonne Nouvelle Année! !Feliz Año Nuevo!. 😘
Ok, so I'm a coconut :/ I have to live with that.
Me too ! Aren't we awesome ? \o/
Les noix de coco, c'est la vie mec. x)
C'est chou ! :o))
I'm a pickle!
pickleRick vs FrenchCoconut !
Cultural gap! In France to be polite is to show respect and not to be 'fake' friendly !
Exactly, it's very rude for us to fake being friendly : strangers, customers, tourists... are not friends. "I'm not your friend, don't pretend to be." We're polite but cold, and we are friendly with... well, friends. It's logic to us :p
Ya but if a person is waiting to be served,why do this pretend crap of not serving a guy or gal who just wants to pay,eat,then leave why is there a dance and song about it.Since we aren't friends like you say?
@@himurogemma6032 Because "not being friends or not pretending to be friends" doesn't mean "wanting to get rid of people asap". The waiter respects you as a customer because in the end it's your money that will end up in his wallet, but you should treat him as another human person who has his own life and who will be offering you a service in return, so you may have to wait and complaining about it is only gonna make it worse. It's mutual respect. It's our idea of politeness : "Let me do my business and you'll be assured to be well served. Be invasive, brash of speedy and we'll want to get rid of you. If you're in a hurry then tell us beforehand and we'll do our best to suit your needs".
And like said in the video :
- French like to take their time to eat
- Don't expect France to treat you differently if you're a foreigner. Accept that you're in a different country and try to behave as such.
i agree what i don't agree is that you'll be waiting to be served not act rude etc then this blockhead decides to waste your time and wind you up,until you explode.I mean ppl need to know what an acceptable time wait should be and every waiter or bartender will have they're own time,so no one knows,hence the problems.I forgot to mention when you notice the waiter or bartender service others first when you are there or were there before others.There's nothing more resentful or appalling as that,I swear these guys are going to tick off the wrong patron and you know the rest.
@@himurogemma6032 Again what you may think is unacceptable for whatever country you're from would be acceptable for the majority of us. It's just another culture, another way of life. Waiters here don't "waste your time to piss you off". We're used to our customs, and waiting a bit of time at the table to get a coffee is normal for everybody here that has lived in France since birth. If you find it unacceptable, then it's culture shock, and if you really can't handle it, then don't order coffee at the café. Make your own and store it in a keep-warm bottle or something.
But don't criticize a culture you can't understand. I'm not saying there's a deeper meaning to why waiters take their time serving you a coffee, but just roll with it because, like it's said in the video, complaining about it is just gonna make matters worse for you (and funnier for us
I live in France for so long and I meet rude french people almost all the time. Very difficult to find someone nice and polite around my neighbourhood.
May be you should question your behavior if everyone is rude to you.
I'm a Kiwi too. We've been on a few big 2-3 week self-drive road trips through France over the last 25 years. Ordinary French people are among the warmest & nicest people you could meet in our experience. I'm talking about shopkeepers, cafe wrkrs, motorway services people & so on. Always smiling, friendly & upbeat. More so than in most other Euro countries. We were very impressed.
My housemate is French and one of the nicest people I know. Although she does enjoy critiquing the dress sense of the women on the BBC breakfast show every morning.
That's rather shallow n'est pas? It's the talent that counts.
I wish I could say the same for my Uni French housemates. Both of them were quite nice at first despite having their own obvious French eccentricities and we liked talking about our backgrounds and what we wanted to do next. But for some reason after about three months they started to hush up and become quite distant from everyone. Almost like a reverse friendship, getting seemingly ruder with their tones and none of us to this day can figure out why. Even they themselves had told us that, even though they themselves weren’t from Paris that people who were from the city are very rude to one another. Well, it’s starting to seem like it truly might be more of a general trait. Perhaps if you can’t break the language of familial gap.
The funny thing about the holy trinity (good choice on the words) is that when you say "bonjour" when entering a place or " au revoir" when leaving, if the shop owner don't say it too, you usualy get annoyed! You're really right, those three words are essentials.
It's good to have the view from someone who's not french, you notice things you don't see otherwise.
I agree! I'm a cashier (and French) and to be honest, foreigner or not, if you do not say «Bonjour» or «merci» or «au revoir» I consider it rude, because we are willing to help you but if you don't show some respect it's annoying.
And I'd like to say that sometimes you're not the first one to forget to show us some respect so yes maybe sometimes we can be rude, because it's frustrating.
Where I work we have to be kind and we have to smile to the customers, even if the person just before was an idiot, or was mean or whatever, and sometimes just a «Bonjour» and a smile from a customer can be like a little sunshine in our day.
I'm from the south of France, not everyone can speak English here, especially people that are older (40 and +) and we have a really strong accent (even in French ! We say that we have a singing language if I can translate it like that) so it's not easy for us to show our skills in English (plus we are closer to Spain, we speak more easily Spanish), and we appreciate when the foreigners try to speak just a little bit of French, we'll try to help them as much as we can :).
I don't know if anything of what I said made sense but I wanted to share my experience :).
It’s because in almost every countries in the world, the shop, boutique, restaurant, etc... is looked like the prolongation of the street. In France, we consider it like the prolongation of the “owner” (or cashier, employee or whatever person responsible) home.
Just came across your video! I'm French living in the US. You analyzed it perfectly and the coconut example is great! I'll use that to explain in the future. It is very true that you can really engage with a waiter with simple words and treating him/her as equal.
Awesome video! Keep it up!
As a French person, this was a really great and very accurate video to watch! 😊 I hope foreigners planning to visit France (particularly Paris) will come across your channel and have a better understanding of how we approach things, it will certainly improve their trip.
The hierarchy point is particularly true. When I went to the US, I felt extremely weird to be around the waiters (who were lovely, don't get me wrong) : they were doing so much, like constantly checking on us, refilling our drinks, making small talk, etc., and it made me very uncomfortable because I obviously know this is mandatory customer service for them, and their livelihood depends on the tips they get. The social relationship is immediately way too awkward for me, to have this person not only serving me, but on top of that being forced to look like they're enjoying it.
I genuinely prefer dealing with an unchatty French waiter : if they're efficient and not rude, I will be perfectly happy to leave them be --it's a shitty job and I'd rather see them be openly tired or distant after a long day than unnaturally ecstatic about my presence.
Not to mention, we Frenchies indeed enjoy our privacy in public spaces, and we don't trust strangers who are way too outgoing and over-the-top. We tend to stereotype Americans as phonies, in that way.
You're a really good sociological analyst. And I like the fact that you throw some statistics and studies in your videos. Bravo.
well said I lived in France for more than a year and was married into the French culture and you hit the many points SPOT ON...bravo!
We just returned from Paris. We loved every minute of it. As an American living in California I am so tired of fake smiles, people who say "love you!" when I just meet them and people asking me personal questions. The Parisians we met were exceptionally polite, willing to help and the service was fantastic. We were overwhelmed at our experience with the locals. I loved the fact that they were polite yet reserved and didn't get all up in our business about what we were doing in Paris. My entire life I've been called aloof, or stuck-up because I don't want to make chit chat with a stranger on a train, I don't want to tell you why or what I am doing and I don't like small talk . I am simply private. I found the French were similar. As far as the service it was lovely. We weren't rushed and we didn't get side eye from waiters who wanted to turn the table. We tried to speak French, we said Bonjour upon entering any store or meeting any person, we asked to touch or try on the merchandise and people couldn't have been nicer. We are going back next year. Best trip ever. What is interesting is find Californians much ruder. I often say thank you and maybe the rely is "no problem" with no eye contact. Half the time I get no reply at all. I am a small shop owner and many americans think they can have/do/request anything and I must accommodate. Courtesy needs to go both ways. I vastly prefer the French way.
Your eloquence in discussing and sharing your personal reflections and experiences as a travelled person is a breath of fresh air.
Please, come to Paris again!
I went to Paris twice and I found the people there to be very friendly. I guess it depends on our behavior. I tried to be respectful of their culture and only interact with people who are not busy. I learned some useful words like "merci", "pardon", and "bonjour" and they're very important for daily interaction.
I'm french and you're absolutely right in your video
I've lived in the states for a year, and I can definitely understand why those stereotypes are custom. People in the USA assume that the waiter is only their servants whereas in France the waiter is our friend, and if you get close to a waiter, he might offers you a drink or something.
Moreover french people are really polite, and we hate rude people, thus if you get into a store/café/bus/anywhere without a "Bonjour", you are considered rude, and you won't be served as nicely as if you would have. Many people would not even talk to you if you haven't even considered talking politely to him. This isn't rudeness, it is "savoir-vivre", knowing how to live.
I really like your accent and keep the videos going!
This was my very first video I found from your channel, and I'm now watching all the others :)
I haven't been to France yet... but I will be moving to Belgium in 3 months, so I'm reading a lot about French culture as an approximation of Walloon culture, knowing of course there may differences. I'm an American, and see the world thru American eyes. I think the "client is king" issue is very important in the USA because we are a hyper-competitive capitalistic economy, and we know with absolute certainty that if we (as a company) have a reputation of not being super polite, or giving top-notch service, the customer will take his or her business elsewhere. I've worked in many organizations where the dogmatic mantra is "SERVICE-SERVICE-SERVICE," and unfortunately the restaurant, food and beverage industry must adhere more so than most others... one complaint of rudeness will get a waiter terminated. If a restaurant has a reputation of having rude employees, the word will spread like wildfire.... and nobody will go there to eat, no matter how good the food.... Companies in all aspects of American business and industry market themselves as providing the "Best Service," and it is an axiom that those businesses who provide poor service go quickly out of business.... So, that in a nutshell is why Americans will think French people are rude, because fast, efficient, polite, and service oriented behavior is deeply engrained in our culture.....
What we will need to know before leaving for the Francophone world is how to adjust our expectations. We're used to a certain level of "routine" in our world that will be different in their world.... its not better or worse than ours... just different.... and we will adapt. We spent four years in Japan, and we learned various cultural norms there and we can do the same where we're going. I'll be taking a 9 yr old American kid, and training him to adapt is a challenge, but it will also be an adventure.... now to study enough French to get by before we leave....
I just want to clarify one thing to Max: It is not so much that waiters are our "servants," it is that in the USA everyone is expected to give superior and courteous service, in a highly professional manner at all times. It doesn't matter if you are a waiter, mechanic, or lawyer.... if an employee doesn't comply, then he has a "bad attitude," and he is replaced; there are many waiting in line to get that job.... harsh reality. An American going to eat at a local restaurant has to abide by the "superior service, highly professional" standard in what he does for a living and would be highly irritated if a restaurant worker didn't approach his job in the same manner...........now lets talk about Japan. There you will always find highly dedicated and motivated people in the way they approach their jobs... there are no demeaning jobs, and even parking attendants consider what they do as a noble profession.... So the French culture is different (I won't comment on if its good or bad) concerning waiters apparently..... but plainly I can see why Americans would feel badly about the scenario being painted, because never would an employee in the USA survive in the workforce here if he ever treated any customer (EVEN THE CUSTOMERS HE DOESN'T LIKE) with nothing but highest level of courtesy and respect......
I also don't understand why we have this reputation 🤔 I'm French but live in Spain. And people are way less formal. Don't always say thank you (even if you hold the door for them). They just stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Kids are raised without being taught this basic education. I love the fact we are so formal and our kids are raised to be respected adults
Hi guys and Rosie. I'm french and just like you explained it, i really feel like i need my "comfort zone", and yeah it feels weird to me that someone starts talking about his/her life as i dont know him/her. Everything you said seems legit to me.
I’ve been watching your videos back to back. I’ve been living in France for 10 years now and I must say, you’re very perceptive! Love the content 🙂.
Thank you for telling the truth haha, I’m so tired of that rude/pretentious reputation when it’s just different ways of living depending on the culture of the country, thank you for being honest :)
Very good and accurate video ! You seem to have understood our culture very well ! :)
If I might add a point for tourists, be aware that cafés and restaurants near big touristic spots (Saint-Michel, Montmartre, Tour Eiffel...) can be real nightmares because they mix three terrible points : they welcome the highest number of tourists making it cash factories, they are the most expensive for “typical meals” as they call it (for usually not great quality), and the waiters are usually very rude and count on productivity (so you must hurry).
Which is why I advise people not to eat in those places (excepts if it’s a fancy restaurant or hotel), and just to visit then go a little further to eat and rest more calmly :)
And I'll add that 90% of the time the "typical meals" in those places are just industrial food put in the microwave. So, I support the advice of not eating in the most touristic places.
Hi ! I'm french and i wanna say thank you for your video. You explained it very well.
I agree about the fact that it's important to say "Bonjour" "Merci" "Au revoir". We always have to speak English cause everybody knows how to speak English, so now English people doesn't make the effort to speak French. It's fine if they don't know how to speak french, i get it, it's not an easy language, but just this three words would remind us that english is not the only important language.
Anyway, great video, really. I suscribed !
You're doing a great job, i hope you'll have more suscribers ! I hope you'll do videos about New-Zealand for French people also !
Keep going !
Congratulations on your video from yet another Frenchman. As a foreigner you may not have noticed how edgy people can be in the street if you enquire about a direction in French. People are sick and tired of requests for money or cigarettes and the level of stress is quite high in Paris. The best solution is to put your request as fast as you can after the initial : "bonjour". Once they've heard "tour eiffel, Sacré-Coeur" or a street name they will realize you are not a potential nuisance or threat and stop walking.
I went to Paris years ago with my family and we had only one "rude" incident. Everyone else was so kind to us! One couple we met while at a book store even invited us into their home (we were really surprised) and were very communicative. They even gave me a children's book in French. I will never forget it, it made the trip.
"Le client est roi"
"Oui, mais quand le roi abuse, on lui coup la tête"
Thanks for your work on youtube
😂😂😂
this is so funny to hear that people in Paris do not chitchat with strangers. I am German, I have lived in Frankfurt for 9 years and in Paris for 3 months and I have had more conversations with strangers in Paris on the street, in the supermarket, at the doctor, in the metro than in Frankfurt in the whole time. French are so open and sweet compared to Frankfurt residents.
Because Germans are more reserved than French. But I often meet german in my travels and it was always with them I was the more close. It is The German-French friendship :D
French peoples tend to be shocked when chitchatting. But, that argument is valid with the youngest ones. I am french and it often happen I start a conversation with random peoples in the street (bus, shop or even queues sometimes). Older french are more open to discuss because there's some gap between 'generations' and education.
Parisians people are coming apart when talking about french behaviour with strangers/foreigners. First, regions (could be assimilate to bundesland somehow) got their own culture, languages sometimes and customs that leads to huge differents behaviors towards peoples.
Second, many french think about Paris as superior than the rest. That makes some of them cocky and really rudes.
I understand why foreigners could stereotypes our country and I invite them to visit the south (west and east) to change their minds ;).
Yeah I think the German point of view really shows this idea of French rudeness is mostly an American stereotype. To most Germans, we are just fine. But then, they also find the Germans rude lol.
I can see how it can seem that way as we do not follow classic french rules. I never ask Hi, how are you? When I see my German coworkers every day .. unless they had a crying breakdown an hour earlier. We also never ask it to strangers, we really don't care. We do also not say Hello when entering a bus or shop. But once you get over the directness, most are friendly and helpful.
I meant Americans also have a stereotype of the Germans being rude, but it's not as common as they don't visit Germany as much as they visit France.
Germans are not perceived as rude in France, just colder than your average French but some French are just as cold, and the coldness is considered to be part of the "well-organized hard-workers" package. Maybe a stereotype too albeit a mostly positive one.
Wow Your understanding of French people is amazing ! When I saw the title of your video I got curious and watched it and I think your explanations are very accurate :) I’m French and I never really understood why there were these talks amongst foreigners and tourists saying that French people were rude, but then I spent a few months in Canada last year, I talked about cultural differences with my friends there and when I told them that in France we definitely don’t start conversations with people on the street or in the bus, that it’s not a thing here, they were really surprised, so... Yeah I guess that is one big cultural misunderstanding :)
Anyway, I really liked your video ! I would be interested in watching more from you :)
Your video is interesting and is a good surprise. The way you talk about rudeness is very smart. You are almost "too kind" with rude people. I hope you'll enjoy France and Europe. Congrats!
Had been following your channels back when I lived in China. So happy to pick up where I left off so to speak. You rock! Tough and heartwarmingly humane Lady right there!
One more french point of vue : very smart analysis and very good video ! Keep the good work !
My only trip to France was in 1962 when I was four years old. I was traveling with my mother, a Francophone from Luxembourg who also lived in France, and my two younger brothers. I still distinctly remember my mother instructing me to say "Bonjour," "merci," and "au revoir."
Hi ur 57 years old or 58
@@yahyahassan7499 Now he is 64 years old btw
You are great,keep up the good work👍
Well done! A refreshingly intelligent, common sense approach. From someone who has lived in Paris. Merci beaucoup.
Very good video, I think you perfectly understand it all.
I work in a customer service in France, for international customers too. I think one main reason why the service is SO different here, besides what you said (which is spot on) is that in France (and Europe mostly) we consider the waiter/employee as a professional, they know their craft better than you. If a chef tells you he won't put ketchup in your tartiflette, you should not discuss it (but you might ask for ketchup on the side and apologize because you have weird tastes ;-p ).
I understand the other countries though, where "Whoever pays, decides." When I started working with americans, to me this was very rude, because I felt negated in my skills. Also, in France when you buy something, you pay for the product and you implicitly agree to the rules that go with it. Customers from the US often tell me the complete opposite: they paid for it, so they get the right to do as they like. Both ways of thinking are logic, but opposite. Hence the misunderstandings.
Lia, so haughty to expect an apology from a customer, because they want some ketchup on the side. A servant is there to serve. The French in general don't know that art. A waiter doesn't 'know his craft better than you' if he is cocky enough to display his feelings of superiority. It looks like the French are even proud of their social disorders.
"A servant is there to serve".
And then people wonder why waiters are rude to tourists?
You should rewatch that video, and actually listen and understand what Rosie is saying.
I know that might be some shocking revelation to you, but here's something you seem to have forgotten: your waiters are also human beings, and not your servants. They deserve respect, just like any other person.
And it's not because you're a customer that you suddenly get a right to mistreat your hosts because "I'm the one giving you money, so whatever I ask is fine, even if that goes against the policy in that store/restaurant/whatever".
Seriously, who do you think you are? Some sort of aristocrat who has a bunch of serfs he can order around? Do you know the history of France and aristocrats and how it ended for the "blue bloods" (hint: not well)?
Anyway. Please, Garden Joy, do not come to France. You would not be welcome here, I can already tell you so.
We don't need you, your money, and your attitude anyway.
And no, I'm not being rude. I'm just telling you how things are because you still don't understand that you can't force people to swallow their dignity for your so precious money.
Cheers from a French, parisian man who doesn't even like parisian waiters that much, but was still outraged by the stupidity and arrogance of that comment.
sabrakt, thanks for proving my point. Your comment was as hostile as I know the French to be. It's like a slave mentality is still in the French, even after the revolution. They do not want to be told by anyone and are not open to criticism. You sure know how to spoil someone elses holidays. Get over yourselves.
When I write a servant is there to serve, I mean no more than that someone who chooses to become a waiter schould wait, and that someone who chooses to become a lorry driver should drive, and that someone who chooses to become a bookkeeper should keep the books. I'm working class too. As fas as I know, I sell my time to my employer, so that he gets the benefit of my working labor. That means I treat his customers with respect and kindness.
Nothing more is implied here, than I do in everyday life too. That doesn't degrade me, it uplifts me. And I certainly am not arrogant towards anyone that serves me, but treat them with the respect and kindness I give everyone. Besides of course when they time after time degrade me by being arrogant and I start to feel the urgent need to warn future customers, in this case tourists.
Since you can't have France without the arrogancy, I gladly take my business elsewhere. And still advise everyone else to do the same. Unless they prefer to be looked down upon and get their feelings hurt, whilst paying good money for it. Sort of SM to me, and that's not my style.
Have a good day now.
Garden Joy "Slave mentality"?
You're projecting. It's not because, wherever you're from, the working class is seen and considered as slave labours by the paying customers that this mentality will be accepted somewhere else once you get a chance to be the one paying for a service.
From the three comments I've seen of you here, I can easily tell you're the one who was having the bad attitude. Not that you must be a bad person per se (even if, actually, you do sound like you have that stupid anglo-american mentality of the one with the money gets to be "served" by his "slave" hosts), but as explained in that video, you were probably acting like you would at home, which is different from the way people interact with each other in France, and thus you got a backlash for it.
Afterall, if you're seen as being an arrogant tourist, even if you don't mean to because it's just how you'd normally act at home, don't be surprised that people around you become unfriendly.
But go ahead, warn people all you want, it's not like you're going to make a difference. We're overflowed with tourists with a bad behavior anyway and could do with less of them.
sabrakt, Well we found something we can agree upon. France could do with less tourists. Works out better for both, obviously.
And no, you haven't understood me at all and it was you starting to talk about the aristocrats, so I'm not projecting at all, just answering what you brought up.
Both where I get from and where I currently live, the working class is not seen as slaves. It's obviously you that cannot tolerate a mentality of friendly service, without being afraid to be looked down upon as a slave.
And as such France has 'defended' itself against those nasty aristocrats (and I do believe most of them were nasty indeed), and is still defending today. Instead of taking the criticism seriously, you debase and debate it. As such you will never learn from it. Never heal from it. You will keep on lashing out to whoever means well, because you tend to read something mean in it. So the one who was bullied has turned into a bully himself. And as such, people ought to be warned for your hurtful ways. Until of course you get out of that mentality. Until then I'll pass you by, out of caution.
But of course I wish you would accept the diagnosis and the medicine instead. For no-one ask you to swallow your dignity. Only your arrogance.
thank you for this informative vdeo! keep up with that! :)
Haha love your channel! I’m french and this is very true 😆 thank u for clearing it up
I'm french and come from Paris and your arguments are great to explain our attitude. Thank you for this interesting video!
As a non-french who grew up in a french school surrounded by french people, I always found this stereotype to be so unfair, because the people I've met were always so lovely and welcoming to me. I kind of feel more offended by this stereotype than the French and I go out of my way to defend them. French people are adorable!
I live in Paris (but I'm not French) & I do find it funny that what some would consider rude, I would consider polite & thoughtful. Lets consider the waiters. I love the fact that the waiters will only stop for the essentials & not bother me otherwise. Here, eating is considered an experience. The idea is to take my time. I enjoy my food while chatting with friends or if I'm alone, I read, work, play on my phone or even bask in the sun & people-watch if I'm in the mood to just take a break. The last thing I want is a stressful fake-smiley waiter hovering over my head spoiling my meal with unnecessary questions & making me feel like I have to hurry with my meal. If I need something, I'll ask for it. Only small children, tourists & pompous people require supervision here. One tip: if you are in a hurry, politely ask the server for help, so they'll serve everything at one time or faster. They will usually do their best to help you.
Another very Parisian thing. The locals here walk fast, the busier they are, the faster they will walk. You have not seen a rude Parisian until you have interrupted foot traffic. Unless it is an emergency, if you want to ask a question, choose someone not walking so fast. Also, start by saying "Hello, sorry for stopping you but can I ask a question, or could you help me with something?" Then Wait for an answer. If they say no, it is usually because they are busy, can't help you because they come from somewhere else, can't speak a good enough English, or had a bad experience with rude tourists before. Respectfully say thank you & move to the next person. Do not assume that just because you are a tourist, you have the God given right to interrupt others. It is one of the things we locals hate the most. People have packed, busy lives here.
Also, do not assume that people want to talk to you when taking public transportation, or that they should answer your questions because they are just sitting down, doing nothing or reading/looking at their phone. In the morning, many locals prepare mentally for the day during the trip, or decompress from a stressful day in the evening. Intrusive, loud chatter is very stressful in that situation. Follow the same rule from before for any question.
Good video, very informative! Thank you 😊
Such a cool informative video!
I had to laugh when you mentioned being too loud and over excited was a mark of a 'simpleton' in France 😂....well I happen to agree with that, I'm in the UK and encounter this on a daily basis, especially in certain supermarkets....some rough mother screaming at 'little Jimmy', down the bread aisle. You get to know far too much in a few seconds, I actually try to avoid a certain supermarket for that reason, it draws the oddballs like a magnet 😬....I think I really would fit in well in France, peace and tranquility 💕
A couple of years ago I remember we had lunch in a touristy village in the South of France. We were waiting for about 15 minutes to get served whilst the waiter, literally 5 yards away from our table, was chatting to a friend passing by. That just wouldn't happen in England! In the end a very polite and friendly waitress came out and served us.
Honestly, at the beginning of the video I was expecting to hear all the different stereotypes on "the French rudeness" with personal stories from yours to back them up but actually, you stayed objective and in the meantime kept giving some personal insights on the topic. I'm impressed ! Good job ! You explained the subject in a good way.
Rosie, thanks sooo much for these videos. I'm an intercultural facilitator, been living and working in France for over 30 years, I'm from the UK and honestly, you are so spot on with my perceptions from my own cultural standpoint. I particularly love this video, "Les français sont-ils impolis?". It is very very well explained and sensitive. Well done!
Thank you for this video... you really understand us. One thing to complete your video. I was in Paris for 3 years to study, It only took me a few weeks to shut down, stop looking into people eyes or smile to them... Because if you do, someone will asks you money. You will be stoped every few minutes to buy something, for a petition, or just give graciously the few coins at your disposal. It's not a big deal when you are in Paris occasionally but when you are in Paris every day, you learn to protect yourself.
Well that kind of people is easily recognisable usualy they have petitions in there ends you look at them smile they come and you say no thats all about it you can say no in france this is not rude ;)
I think the French can be seen to be haughty rather than rude. It's to do with their sense of pride from their culture and retaining their identity in a globalised world.
Hey Rosie! Just discovered your channel, OMG, so entertaining, I'm half British, half French, so I've always had some kind of distance with both French and British cultures, and it has been highly entertaining to see you sort of dig in to what French people are like! Congrats!
This was super helpful. Thank you!
I´ve been to Paris with my familie and it was lovley and nearly everbody was kind. but this one women was extremly rude. My dad asked her how we could get to the train station in french (he studied in Geneva, so he is speaking quite well) and she was very annoyed, rolled her eyes and interrupted him with a "do you speak english?". He was suprised but asked her in english. But she on the other hand couldn´t speak english and i can´t help but think that she was doning all this just to humiliate him.
Hello,
As I was born and grew up in North of France (half of my life there) but I live now in South of France, I can maybe extend the peaches/coconuts theory to Europe. For me, it's cultural stuff where you can divide France into two parts : coconuts in North and peaches in South and same with North Europe versus South Europe. It's also applicable with other differencies such as : under pressure people/ponctuality versus "dolce vita" concept and so on. Good job for your videos !
I hope I didn't bother you. I just wanna know if Marseille was in northern or souther?
Ty
@@loneman3355 Sorry for the late reply, I didn't get the notification for your comment. Marseille is in South of France.
@@sarahmarkiewicz7975 thanks for the answer... the only place that I want to go in France was the Marseille.
Your videos are pretty spot on! I loved the "coconut/peach" analogy, it's exactly how I've always felt.
Nicely down and overall pretty factual and smart. Thanks for your positive input.
Merci beaucoup pour cette analyse ! merci pour l'intelligence du cœur ! Merci de chercher à comprendre ce qui est différent chez l'autre ..... c'est une démarche rare qui me touche beaucoup et qui révèle un grand cœur ! Bonne continuation !
You are amazing!! You understand us sooo well!!! I am a French Parisian and I could relate to absolutely everything you said. I just discovered you and I ll be following you from now on :)
I adore you 💕 love all your tips and videos.
Your videos perfectly reflects french culture. You really understand us and it’s very appreciated. Thank you :)
Really like the holy trinity. However, I do think that you forgot the « s’il vous plaît » which is soooo important. As a french folk, if somebody asks me something without a « s’il te plaît », I can get really offended. And I’m pretty sure it applies to almost every french person
I'm French and about the "Bonjour" it's not only for tourist. I remember one day in a mall i was sherching for something don't remember what but i've forget the "Bonjour". My phrase was polite but the sealers started by say me "Bonjour" and nothing else i was repeat and he say me Bonjour again. Three time before i understand i've forget to say it >< Now i never forget to say Bonjour when i ask to someone for help or anything.
Your vidéo is really accurate good job i suscribe :) Sorry for my english i don't write/speak it really often so i loose it with time :)
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Je suis français et le Bonjour n'est pas réservé qu'aux touristes. Je me souviens qu'une fois dans un magasin ou je cherché quelque chose j'avais appelé un vendeur. Je lui avait expliqué de façon polit ce que je cherché mais il ne me répondait que Bonjour. Il m'a fallu trois essaies avant de comprendre que je l'avait oublié >< Maintenant je n'oublie plus de le dire quelque soit ce que je demande.
T'a vidéo et vraiment précise bien joué :)
Thanks, you just saved me a couple of hours (or more) explaining my Aussie housemate why we are like we are! This is spot on.
Just discovered your channel and I really love it ! You’re really wise about our culture and way of life !
wait coconuts are empty inside haha
Nope there's coconut water inside :P
great answer! :D I'd lived in Paris during 10 years... and, yes, their are very rudes and like coconuts. For French culture, the courtesy it's sooo important, but they are very arrogants and critics too. In summary, the French culture are paradoxical... c'est ce qui fait tout son charme... maybe?
@@philippesoares1745 And coconut, of course!
Being a Brit I've never found the French rude, just honest. Also the American idea of service staff kowtowing to the costumers every whim is shocking to me. When we see entitled costumers in the UK it's the costumer and not the staff who are seen to blame, they're the ones showing a lack of decorum. Just because someone is a waiter or server doesen't mean they aren't allowed their dignity.
Gerard Montgomery , I agree. I am an American and I always treat service people respectfully. When I see someone else being demanding and rude to a waiter, cashier, store clerk,etc, I am disgusted.Service people work very hard for their money and should be treated decently. Obnoxious customers make themselves look foolish when they are mean to a server.
Well definitely wouldnt notice you are a Brit through your english grammar lol.
Oh I’ve never seen that. But I never leave my house anyways.
*Customer , no? 🤔 Im not english but I dont know what's a costumer?
A Birt attacking Americans and defending the French... oh how I am not surprised.
You are really good at putting words on cultural differences. I like watching your videos. Cheers.
Excellent video on this aspect of the culture.
When I was in my early teens my family took a trip to Paris and loved everyone we met. We ran into another family from the US, like us, and they made a comment about how rude they thought the French were. We tried to find out what caused us to have such a different view of the people we were meeting. Turns out they were making no attempt to speak French because they didn't feel like they needed to which I'm sure the French people they were meeting did not like.
well the frenchhh don't have to be rude about it there tourist visiting not staying in the country in many countries the waiters and servers don't get rude if you don't speak there language they will even speak English and many countries in asia can speak English
@@ice-tgaming4609 it's more that the assumption that everyone should just know English can be very insulting to people like the French. I would imagine its tiring having tourist from the US come all the time that dont seem to really care about making an attempt. My family's French is not good at all but the attempt seemed to be enough. Even if we had to switch to English after greeting someone and asking if they knew English. There is a stereo type that Americans are arrogant and dont care very much about other cultures which is unfortunate.
@@ice-tgaming4609 Also, unfortunately here in the US some of us are much worse about non English speakers. The number of times my mom has had someone insult her for her thick Spanish accent is too many to count. Making comments like "I dont speak Chinese" or "you know you're in America right?" are things I heard often spoken to my mom growing up while she was speaking English. Meanwhile, again, even a well meaning but poor attempt at
French was enough to make our trip much better than another family that admitted to not trying at all.
@@hahalove47 nah French people have a beef with the English (British) for hundreds of years that's why they hate it so much and it doesn't matter what country you are from visiting france while not knowing any French should be normal have you heard of any tourist destination country's that get rude when you don't attempt to speak their language?No right? It's just French people are rude and arrogant in paris
A really good and interesting video and point of view, even if I think you're too nice with the "parisiens" (I live in south of France ;-) ). I think the biggest culture difference between latin people (including french people) and anglo-american people, is the relation with money : I feel (as french) that anglo-american deals only with you as a product and not as a person. In my job (medical), when I have to care of US people, they often says "I want this exam now, I'll pay" (which is impossible in the public health service in France and even too in private". I think that anglo-american people consider customers service people as the product or service and not as people who gives to you the product or service, and I think that's why french people are rude with tourists. The second problem (perhaps the first one) is the language : a lot of french people do speak english (even very much more than US people do speak foreign language for example), but anglo-americans seems to think (or really think) that's an obvious fact and almost a right, and that's the french feeling when somebody talks to you directly in english and it's felt as an agression, a lack of politeness and an imposition... and the answer is often rudeness! (sorry for my poor english)
Agree 100% Some people forget that the actual language in France is French !
Savan, you try your best school french and all you get is being ignored or treated with downright hostility by many french people, even those working in the tourist industry. The French feel so entitled, they have become like the aristocrats they beheaded a couple hundred years ago.
Best tourist advice for France is: don't go. Money wasted, holiday ruined, feelings hurt. Just aweful.
And yes, I speak from experience.
Found this video very interesting, merci! I have travelled to China with a group of people from the UK and this has confirmed this theory that you talk about. Quite often, people who don't understand cultural differences think that others are just rude. It is a shame. So thanks for this video that explains it in a lovely way!
Thank you for the video! It was really helpful. I am French from French Polynesia, and as French people we also find it difficult to accommodate with the French attitude, and more specifically Paris. We often find people "rude", self centered, "angry", always with a negative vision... but as you said it is also cultural, and like in every country you have to enter with respect and take in a little bit of the country you are in. Thank you for the video, hearing other people from the world what they think about France helps me understand some thinks also. Have a lovely day
American are peaches, french are cocnuts, and new zealanders are kiwis ! soft and nice and jucy all around ;)
hardy kiwis maybe :D
But with a lousy skin !
What are we Brits?😀
Verbale Mondo tea 😂👌🏼
with a weird outside looking skin?
I think we do have a big minority of rude waiters, and oftenly an extremely bad customer service. Don't get wrong about it. But one of the main reason that French can appeared rude to strangers, is that we enjoy sarcasm and ironic jokes (well, we do French humour). It's quite cummon to be sarcastic with someone you just met or don't know, and it can be a way of actually being... nice and break the ice. Also, people are much more relaxed and polite when you leave Paris. But for me, it is a universal law, in every country, people living in Capitals are less cool. Also, I think you're wrong with the tourist hangover in Paris, we have nothing against tourists. You've probably just met bored French, not French bored of Tourists. And for the "try to always say something in French first, like Bonjour" I think it is very funny, because all tourists seem to have heard of this theory. A lot of time, Tourists come to me and say "Bonjour" or "Excuse me, do you speak English" very carefully, like if they are affraid of trying to speak directly in English lol. Nice video by the way.
@PokeEmblem 692 It's not if you go with the French definition of friendly ahah. I know it gets hard to keep up wich is why I always forgive the little "Faux pas" foreigners may make.
For the French in general being friendly towards strangers is being polite, have a nice discussion all the while preserving a certain reserve. The problem is that the way Americans for example act friendly comes across as very fake, not genuine, Wich is something the French hate above all. Being sincere is the most important thing for a French, for example, I now live in Canada and time and again I have people I just met telling me things like "oh we should meet again sometimes", or "you're welcome at home anytime". Of course if I was to show up at their door the next morning it would be very weird for them as these formules are just their way of being friendly and polite. If a French person tells you that you're welcome anytime in their home, it's actually true. A lot of times the definition of friendliness of people in English speaking countries actually clashes with the French definition, resulting with some French people actually being cautious with foreigners attempt at friendliness as it would seem suspicious to act THAT friendly with someone you barely know.
All in all, you can act friendly with a stranger in France as long as you're genuine, don't rush things and don't go into intimate conversations with someone you just met. Unless of course there's a connection that formed quickly, it happens.
I'm a fairly chatty person with strangers, I like to engage in conversations with people on terrasses and the like but you have to be cautious about it, if you do it the way Americans do for example you'll be seen as rather pushy and invading.
When we first moved to France one of the locals said "Your French is really bad" and then added "But don't worry, all you need to know are the words "Bonjour" Manger" and "Boire" and then laughed at his own joke - at which we joined in. They are very direct and don't mince words - but most of the time they are just teasing you and love to joke around with you.
Wow, for your very first video, everything is spot on, bravo ! I love the coconut/peach analogy, I've never been able to put words on it, I'm glad you did. As for waiters, they're overworked and that's a tough job, not necessarily underpaid though
Finally a person who understands the social codes, and the whole mindset behind it. Thank you for not judging, for observing with an open mind, and for sharing your thoughts! That's refreshing! (From a French leaving in Holland :) )
"There are also some very dry coconuts" - a french lady
I am French and I approve this video. :) You said it all. If I had to add something though, it's one thing that crossed my mind years ago, but I'm not sure if it's true. There's a long tradition of respect for people at work here. There is nobility in any kind of job, and you did mention dignity in your video. It could be historical. The French Revolution, also the Front Populaire in 1936: all jobs have equal dignity and nobility, they're all important, and you should respect them all. Just because you're not working, are a tourist, are rich, doesn't mean you can treat working people as your slaves. So service yes, slavery, no. Treat people in service like you would like to be treated when you're working, and you're fine. Again all the points you made are great. But the bonjour thing is vital. Bonjour S'il vous plaît, merci. I've noticed it's not vital in the US for example. But in France, it is a way of showing you don't feel superior to the person you're talking to. Another thing: smiling isn't a default action in France. If you smile all the time, you look stupid or crazy. If you smile at someone you don't know they might think you're laughing at them for some reason. There must be a specific situation for people to smile, otherwise it's a lack of respect. Not smiling is actually the by default respectful attitude. A little incident, like you said something wrong, or told a joke, or dropped something, and people will open up, smile and laugh with you because you share something. Well, at least that's the traditional thing, but even that is changing in many places, the world becoming the global village more and more.
I love these tips!!! Merci! ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰
I'm French --> Great analysis, great tips and great conclusions! Keep up the good work ;)
Most French people I’ve talked to have gone on about how French people are smarter than everyone else.
French people might be rude when other cultures are rude with them, quite normal.
stupid
You mean French people are rude because others are rude to them? That makes sense.
"be a charming guest, and you'll be warmly embraced" : awesome line ! Congrats for your in depth analysis of french mannerisms and very pleasing storytelling. I suscribe today and will view some more !
Very informative and unbiased for those who really don't understand
I have only been to France very briefly and was surprised when, after greeting someone with my best "bonjour," to get a rather sneering "bonsoir" in return. So I guess it is wrong to think of it as a general greeting like "hello." Still, t was my only sneer so I guess I had done pretty well for an American who had only studied French for a semester in high school!
Haha ^^ Don't worry, it was not your fault. The reason is that in France, we have two kinds of "Hello" : "Bonjour" and "Bonsoir", which we use respectively during the day and the night. So maybe due to the fact it was the evening at the moment you said Bonjour, and the fact that the French find the English accent quite funny, he/she was surprised to hear an American speaking French, and couldn't refrain themselves from laughing. That's all, don't worry, he/she wasn't mocking you, it was just due to surprise (and maybe due to fatigue as well).
Sorry for my english if i made any mistakes btw ;)
It was probably not mean just that the person use the correct word. I am French and it happen to me to answer bonsoir after someone telling me Bonjour. No offense is meant.
The funny fact about French rudeness is that even if we don't talk to strangers ( we don't like it and that's true ), we do care about them.
We all give away 50% of the money we earn to the state every year ( and you said it, working in France is hard ) to fund health care, help jobless people, retired people and so on. In other words, we all share part of the money we earn with people we've never met before and that we're not meant to meet someday.
And if a politican tries someday to get ride of that, you'll see millions of French people down in the street manifesting.
In the same time, in the US, it's easy to make friends or just to talk to strangers. Someone you've just met makes you feel like you're loved from the moon and back. But you can see how hard american people fought in the streets to prevent Obama Care from being effective.
No offense here and no generality, but I see french society as a rude but generous society. And the US one, as a warm but selfish society.
Oh, and about rudeness to strangers : it is NOT POSSIBLE to smile to a girl in France as a man or to a man as a girl. Smiling to a girl as a man is considered as a massive weapon of seduction ! If you ever try to speak to a French man of your age without knowing him yet, you're basically saying "hey, i wanna date with you so i'm trying to make a contact with you". I don't know if you understand me with my bad english but it's hard to explain.
About laziness at work, the point is that capitalism spoils workers in France. In the US, UK or Austrialia, if you work hard, you suceed, you make money. You get something back from your involvement in the corporation. In France, you have to work hard ( let's say, doing in 8 hours what most would do in 2 days ) to keep your job. If you don't, you get fired. If you do your job well, you just get your pay and that's all for the rest of your life. You don't climb the ladder in the corporation most of the time. I mean, there's no hope most of the time for a worker to be rewarded for his good work. And even when you're rewarded, most of what you earn is taxed. You end up working hard because you only fear to loose your job. And, you may have experimented this, getting a job here in France is hard and takes monthes. And that's why we ain't joyfull people to be honnest : most of the time we spend in a day is wasted for a work we don't get gratitude and money for.
I work as a teacher. An inspector sometimes checks what I do and decices wether I deserve a pay increase or not. He was delighted by my work ( and i'm working at least 50 hours a week ) but he told me " sorry, i can't increase your pay now, you have to wait a few more years because we can't pay you that much at this stage of your career". Just because of administration. It says it all I guess.
Sorry for my english, I know its terrible.
Chuck Maurice je suppose que tu es français,
Je vais te répondre juste sur ta partie ou tu dis que dans le monde anglo-saxons tu travail et hop tu gagne beaucoup et t'es récompensé alors qu'en france tu travail juste pour survivre. Juste n'idéalise pas les choses comme ça. La mobilité sociale est bien plus importantante en France quand Angleterre ou aux US. US la mobilité sociale est aujourd'hui inexistante aux US. Alors bien qu'en France si tu fais parties des classes populaires t'y resteras sûrement toute ta vie et tes enfants en ferons sûrement partie, c'est malheureux mais c'est pour ça qu'il faut caricaturé.
La france même si il y a beaucoup de critique a faire reste dans les faits un pays beaucoup moins inégalitaire que les US ou le monde anglo-saxons en général.
Amen to that ! Merci pour ton commentaire. Moi qui passe mon temps à tenter de démolir ces horribles stéréotypes aux commentateurs étrangers, je n’aurais pas pu mieux dire.
Your english is fine. More than fine.
But what you say about the french people is displayed very rosy. You pay 50% in taxes? Might be. But that is for your own social security as well. And those millions who demonstrate to keep it that way, are those that either need that right now, or think they will need it in the future. Just as selfish as anywhere else. You do not give it away. Given the choice personally, you wouldn't. But you are obliged, because it has been proven to keep the country more steady.
By the way, the pay in France is a lot better, than in most countries in the world. Stop the pity party and the vainglory.
So.. How are you supposed to meet a girl if you can"t say hi ? ...
Your English is very good; there are a few minor, unimportant errors- no need to apologize. You have managed to express yourself clearly in a language that is not your mother tongue- that is an impressive accomplishment especially considering how subtle and complex the topic. I am currently struggling to learn German as I am now living there . My French is nonexistent. French sounds beautiful to my ears, like music, but I have had no need or opportunity in my life to learn it. The first time I visited France and attempted to speak to a stranger my brain by some misguided instinct seemed to think: “English is not appropriate here and the only other language I can speak a little is German so I’ll try that.” Well I found myself suddenly and spontaneously responding with “Dankeschön” and “Entschuldigung” instead of “Merci” and “Pardon moi” or at least “Thank you” and “Excuse me. Let us just say that was not well received. I guess I was in a panic mode being in a country for the first time in which I couldn’t speak any of the native language. I am always a very polite person so this “Faux pas” was for me very embarrassing. Next time I visit I will be armed with at least a few pleasantries, I was just completely naive and unprepared.
In defense of my fellow countrymen I must take great exception to your portrayal of the U.S. society being: “warm and selfish”. I think these characterizations and generalizations are false, meaningless, unsubstantiated and pointless. Human beings are fundamentally the same everywhere: the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the wise and the foolish. It is my sincere belief that Americans are culturally one of the most generous societies in the world even though our healthcare system is a catastrophe! U.S. citizens are heavily taxed and the majority of that amount is spent on social programs within as well as on foreign aid. Yes, an obscene amount is spent on the military and stolen and wasted by corrupt government officials- I wish it were otherwise. U.S. citizens also contribute freely and willingly huge amounts of money to charitable organizations. The problems lie with the fact that the monies given to these organizations are often misspent, wasted, misused, foolishly spent, or lost through fraud, corruption and greed. This opinion of yours is simplistic, unfair and unsupportable and dare I say “rude”. People are individuals and should be thought of as such, we are not collectives, we are not so many bees in a hive. Even given differing social norms and cultural differences, it is wise to take each as he or she comes and to evaluate individuals not by loosely and vaguely defined groups. So called “norms” are just that- merely statistical averages. We are not “averages” we are each unique and special and unrepeatable individuals. [With Donald Trump in the office of the Presidency its is currently rather humiliating and embarrassing to be a U.S. citizen, so please extend a bit of mercy to those of us who did not vote for him and do not support him- there are hundreds of millions of us!]
Excellent video. You have put across the differences in cultures so intelligently. It has given me a whole new perspective on the "rude french " stereotype. Thank you for your effort. Keep it up !
Good! Lot of details! Grettings