hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it (ALTERNATE VERSION)

I was reading Slim Aarons
And I got to thinking that I thought
Maybe I’d get less stressed, if I was tested less like
All of these debutantes
Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels
On white yachts
But I’m not
Baby I’m not
No, I’m not
That I’m not
I've been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
24/7, Sylvia Plath
Writing in blood on my walls
'Cause the ink in my pen don't work in my notepad
Don't ask if I'm happy
You know that I'm not but at best I can say
I'm not sad
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman like me to have
I had fifteen year dances
Church basement romances yeah I've got
Spilling my guts with the Bowery Bums
Is the only love I've ever known
Except for the stage which I also call home when I'm not
Serving up God in a burnt coffee pot
For the triad
Hello it's the most famous woman you know on the iPad
Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say "Hi, dad"
I've been tearing up town in my fucking white gown
Like a goddamn near sociopath
Shaking my ass is the only thing that's
Got this black narcissist off my back
She couldn't care less
And I never cared more
So there's no more to say about that
Except hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman like me to have
Hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman with my past
There's a new revolution
A loud evolution
That I saw
Born of confusion
And quiet collusion of which
Mostly I've known
A modern day woman
With a weak constitution
'Cause I've got
Monsters still under my bed
That I could never fight off
A gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off
I've been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
24/7, Sylvia Plath
Writing in blood on your walls
'Cause the ink in my pen don't look good in my pad
They write that I'm happy
They know that I'm not
But at best you can see I'm not sad
But hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman like me to have
Hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman like me to have
Hope is a dangerous thing
For a woman like me to have
But I have it
Yeah, I have it
Yeah, I have it
I have
‘Cause I had you in- in my head. Are you real? Are you real? Yeah? Is there any chance that I’m just gonna wake up on the floor and the song won’t exist? I’ll be very sad. If I wake up, and you don’t exist, and the song doesn't exist... yeah, I hope you’re real.

[@paulaaa907]

This is gold.

[@poyoAesthetic]

This feels like an unreleased video