Is He Stringing You Along? Dating Do's & Don'ts and the Major Red Flags He's not Serious | Tinx
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- Опубликовано: 21 май 2023
- What’s stopping you from dating, really?
Finding the right partner with the number of dating apps, expectations (real and made up), and pressure we put on ourselves around a single date makes it near impossible. Maybe we’re making this harder than it needs to be.
Dating expert, Christina Najjar, a.k.a. Tinx, one of Forbes 2022 Top Creators, and author of, The Shift, A Guide to Dating, Self Worth & Becoming the Main Character of Your Life, Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself, is here to lighten your dating mood and give you the play by play to make this enjoyable and less stressful.
Tinx has over half a million instagram followers and hosts her own podcast/radio show called Its Me Tinx Her advice is spot on with the twist of humor we all need. In this girl talk with Lisa, Tinx gives insights and advice on dating for your benefit.
Tinx explains the Box Theory that is a dating power boost:
- Why dating is a vibe check and if he doesn’t pass, move on!
- How to trade future “tripping” for a “we’ll see” outlook for better dates
- What to do about f*ck boys, being ghosted, and driving yourself crazy
- How to know if he’s really interested or just love bombing you
What could be better than loving your life and dating because you're confident in who you are, what you want, and having fun because you’re stressed over forcing yourself to fit into an unmatched vibe check with the wrong partner?
QUOTES:
“If someone doesn’t receive your message in the way you intended it, they probably aren’t for you, and that’s okay.”
“We’re in the midst of a paradigm shift with dating. I think that social media, I think that apps have made it very stressful,very complicated.”
“If someone likes you, they’re trying to spend time with you.”
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I am taking a break from dating. I personally believe it is healthy to learn to be present with myself.
It's really boring, all men want is sex, and an opportunity to sexually escalate, so U will freeze, and they can rape you. I charge for dating, and no, men don't get to touch me ever.
I totally agree with you 👍🏾
Yes, I have taken this position for some time, it's worth it :) Get, and keep your head clear-
Girl I'm with you
I love you girl. Best answer ❤
"if someone doesn't receive your message in the way you intended it, they probably aren't for you" big yes on this one. one miscommunication can say so much
@@annaku_lickalicious you're right. i was thinking in terms of repeated interactions with the person where they either don't understand your sense of humor or theres constant miscommunication
So true! If EVERY conversation you have with a person is somehow ALWAYS misunderstood by the other person, MOVE ON!
@@arlenefernandez7415i
When you don't know someone in the begining txts often get missenterpretted.
.
Do not harm your bodies for short term partner. Do not disrespect your own body: SELF.
KEEP SEX OUT of the beginning of the getting to Know WHO HE IS. Is he worthy of your TIME ENERGY and money??
Dignity is seriously important.
Do not allow your person to be disrespected, USED, EXPLOITED during dating. Becareful. Emotional health, Physical harms. Internal female body organs become damaged from
Harmful behaviors. Be whole complete beautiful person. Valued, BE grateful you r healthy.
True. She is clueless.
I agree. Where is this woman's self respect and dignity.
Yes!!!!
I totally agree ! We dont sleep with men right off the bat it’s not to manipulate him into liking us more but it’s for own physical and emotional protection ! What she is saying may cause so much trauma to naive women who don’t know any better !
As if men want your money…. Lmao. I came to this video to see if any women out there actually have an iq higher than slightly below average…. And the answer is no💀
Just a reminder for other women out there that change is possible! You CAN be that girl who does the picking, prioritizes discernment over feelings, and can sense a noncommittal man from a mile away. What it really takes is knowing your boundaries and what behavior you will/will not tolerate before connecting with someone. This makes it easier to walk away from someone who is only giving you the bare minimum
This woman uses the word LIKE! way too much. It's annoying, I can't take anything she's saying seriously...
100 percent correct ! I was this way and I taught both my children boundaries are self love ! I never heard of such things .. sad some young girls have such problems.. self love 💕
As long as you are communicating in plain English what your needs are and that certain topics are off limits. Setting and keeping healthy boundaries for you to be safe happy and healthy. So for example with my family mother in particular I've said to her that my weight or relationship status is not up for discussion. If it does come up, I gently remind them again that in order for me to feel safe and not triggered my weight and relationship status are not up for discussion. Several times I've stood up and simply walked away.
It's very basic but if your loved ones really care about you as much as you think. Set clear boundaries. Sadly you might have to cut certain people from your life. Your safety and mental health matters and if they can't abide by two simple rules for your well being, then do they really care as much as they say they do?? Its about setting and reaffirming your own personal boundaries in every context or relationship. That way you can show up as yourself every single time and you'll never be uncomfortable or silently suffering. That way your an active agent in your life rather than a sitting duck.
@@TurdBird-qc6zu..you'd think she'd already realized how much more 'powerful' her message would had been without it but then again... she's also.the type to make it seem immoral for judgements where wealth is concerned but finds it totally ok to judge and even keep notes of when her date trips or falls..or sings in the car...or any other HUMANLY thing that probably brought embarrassment on his part. He's prolly better off she does end it because he deserves someome to walk the earth with and beside him.., let her float away somewhere since shes oh so above it....
👏Hear, hear! 🤍
I loved her description of telling yur grand kids, "After a year of being devalued and disrespected, your grandfather finally really saw me and fell in love. I'm so ghad I held on!" sure puts it all in perspective very nicely!
Yup
A year, though
😢
Nah that’s rediculous!
I have NEVER seen even 1 (one) man tolerate a woman that devalued and disrespected him for an entire year!!
My take on "Grandma's story"??
I call b.s. Grandma's a bald-faced liar, inventing stories to waste her grandkids' time/lives...another tell ...
It’s not just the difference in pay that constitutes the need for men to pay, it’s the difference between what men and women bring to the table. Women enliven men with our beauty and energy. They fill up on our femininity. I don’t receive nourishment and deep emotional understanding of who I am from men to the degree that I provide it. I get that from my girlfriends - women provide that for each other. Men are sustained by and have a deep longing to experience feminine energy. The nature of the encounter is inherently different and men paying is a reflection of that energy exchange
I took 18 months to do inner work after the demise of my relationship. I’m so much more accepting of who I am and I put myself first now. It’s incredible what u could do in a a matter of months ❤
Something to note though: showing your worst self right off a lot of times could turn someone off… it’s been said, it is like a producer showing someone their new movie but saying “this part I really messed up” before letting you just judge for yourself… you go in looking for the bad. It is a self-sabotage mechanism to show yourself bad, and it helps to not do that but let someone see you, without oversharing. They’re not therapists also…
Give them a chance to just see you and like you. It will help.. After a while you can start to share your vulnerabilities… lightly, as they would theirs (in a healthy growing relationship)
this wymn, the guest is a narcissistic person.. she has attitude like, i am this way, take it or leave it, i am bossy, dominant like a man, but i want you to pay 😂 very bad deal for a man of means
Yes, I agree, too cocky-
@@Deb_deCoder Exactly what I was thinking. She makes some good points, but her whole approach is narcissistic.
💯
She seemed like men repellant ... its ok to not be excited, but as she said, they choose the box in the beginning, being your best and in feminine energy is attractive, putting too much out there before they know you could ruin something meant to be, when the timing is right you can share that stuff still... to have that energy and then expect paid dates will never work out. She seems jaded. Some things she said are valuable but her energy repels men.
The most confusing thing is having a man showing consistent communication and wanting to hang out everyday but does not want a relationship/ commitment! I obviously had to let that shit go but it was painful because I truly felt a connection. We could of done so much together. It hurts but it is what it is! He don't like me that much!
Same here😢
Brings to mind what older women always warned us about giving it away and "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" It doesn't just apply to our bodies. We women tend to give so much more of ourselves than men do and that has to change.
Yes going through this currently. I already know we're headed for disaster and he has openly admitted he didn't want to marry me. But I stay - around despite all red flags.
going through the same thing, i need to let go...
initiate the process of grief when u r ready. the earlier the better
The date box might take until date 5 or date 8, trust me don’t sleep with them, get to know them, force them to get to know you… and if you don’t like them, leave.
It depends on the situation but I usually wait 8 dates/1 month. By that time most of the men are gone ahaha
@@demonstrativum3807 yep! Which means they weren’t the good ones and you weren’t meant for each other
Yes
I think men and women have the EXACT SAME PITFALLS. How many times I’ve gone on a first date with a man and they already expect me to be their GF!
And I know immediately if the guy is worth my time and energy (according to my feelings- then it takes time to assess their character)
True, very true
I needed to hear this episode. I've given up on dating completely.
Me too
Amen I feel the same!!!! ❤❤❤
Awww we will find love one day ladies.
Nooo! U should not...u don't know what might happen.... it's okay to experience all kind of stuff and just don't lose hope ....keep dating but have high standards and on the other side strive to be a confident person....
Because it's boring, I don't want to be bored, life it's too painful already
When a man truly likes me, I can trash him, get drunk, act stupid, he will always like me. She is right on that respect. But you also have to understand that men lose at least a percentage of their attraction once a woman reciprocates him
NEVER don’t sleep with them if you want a serious relationship. Men will never respect you or take things further if you do. Listen to Tony Gaskins. Sleep if you want no future with them
Not true all the time. All men have respected me and admired me even after we had Sex and still want to be with me
Definitely not accurate 100% of the time. Slept with someone fairly quickly. We both knew what we wanted. Our values aligned & it was an amazing relationship that turned into marriage. We had 2 children & unfortunately dealt with a lot of outside pressure as well as quite a lot of loss. We are now divorced, but friends. Of all his exs I can confidently say his respect for me in particular is pretty damn high.
Not true, speaking out of experience
@@LilaAlejandra_ It is too risky for many women. And also it depends on how soon you sleep with him. And did any of them marry you?
I've been on 2 first dates lately where the guy spent the whole date just telling me all the reasons I wouldn't want to date him - putting his bad stuff first. I was like "Ummm.... that might be ok if I knew that I liked you, but I haven't even had the chance to learn the positive things about you yet" so I kinda wasnt interested in following up after that. So I don't agree with this notion of putting all your weird, negative stuff first. Get to know each other for good AND bad at the same time.
I agree
I'm sorry but this advice is bad , not sleeping with a man is not manipulation , it's to protect us from being played but then again I come from a conscious woman mindset, a lot of woman are broken conscious, I did not like this advice especially coming from an unmarried woman, ladies keep you're legs closed. If you wanted to listen to a great person RC blakes. good luck woman
Now I do understand what you mean about being played in that Arena I don't know it firsthand, but I do know just by hearing others. When you're a real woman and you know what you want and sexual desire is a enormous part of us- to simply ignore it, is absolutely ridiculous advice- just be picky on who you choose and a man should be doing the same damn thing--- but Society has indoctrinated the human male to be absolutely honorless, and non-Discerning as one can get, and let's not forget with a depravity that knows NO BOTTOM TO IT!! That's what's really going on here , but nobody wants to address that problem! And I'll be damned if Im going to pay for that by lessoning this life that i was given by denying my desires!
My, how we forget what this patriarchal regime has done thousands of years ago-
I havent finished this episode yet, but if a woman is fully conscious it means she gets to determine what she wants from a man. Some men who are sexually desirable and otherwise pleasing arent actually husband material. I think women have the ability to make that discernment, and then choose what to do with the men they encounter accordingly. Not everyone is dating for marraige 🤷♀️
I havent finished this episode yet, but if a woman is fully conscious it means she gets to determine what she wants from a man. Some men who are sexually desirable and otherwise pleasing arent actually husband material. I think women have the ability to make that discernment, and then choose what to do with the men they encounter accordingly. Not everyone is dating for marraige 🤷♀️
Totally agree
I agree with you. What terrible, feminist advice. Not sleeping with men is not strategy or manipulation. It’s called self-respect and taking things slowly. Men RESPECT that highly! Don’t divulge all your crazy to anyone on a first date or even just hanging out with new friends. Mystery is appealing to all. Have some privacy and wait to divulge because it may not be necessary. Listen to podcasts and men say they can’t find nice women because of this bad advice. Encourage women to be vulnerable, secure in themselves, educated but at the same time feminine and kind. RC Blakes was on her show and spoke truth about men. She has some other good anecdotes and some general points we women experience but overall I would just look at this as her personal experience.
When a woman objects to a man paying for dinner, she may be trying to ensure that the man doesn't get the idea that she OWES him sex after the date because she paid for her own meal. There are some men that feel like this. Perhaps she has ran into a few of them.
I ain’t never objecting to a man paying. He’s can get any idea he wants. I can buy my own food and will not not used up for a sandwich
I pay my own way bc I never again wanna it thrown up in my face in a disagreement. You know how that goes ladies... When they have no defense, they default to "you don't mind the free meals".
It depends on the situation but I usually let the men pay (learned my lessons). They should have skin in the game (especially fuckboys) and if they later on cry "I spent 200 USD on her and she didnt even give a bj" I will be delighted 😂😂they can be happy they could even spend time with me
no. he asked me to dinner. maybe if you have doubts say "this is a date for dinner only"
Oh my gosh, I also followed the strategy not shaving body parts in order to not give in to sex 😂. I thought I was the only one doing it. Not using this strategy anymore btw have sufficient self trust nowedays
Right! I thought I was the only one too!
This comment made laugh so hard ....phew..gud one
😂same
I do the same thing!! :D
Resonates strongly. My love of two years unexpectedly broke up with me last night. Strong waves of crushing pain, anger and shock. Literally just woke up out of sleep panicked that he is gone…Ouch. I used to watch you regularly but drifted away and have not watched for quite awhile. Your face popped up in my minds eye so I searched hoping you were still creating content and found this super validating reading. Thank you so much for sharing this it really helps.
Love her audacity and ability to express herself and still not disrespectful
I don't fully agree about the categories, there's more than that. I have met guys who just wanted to improve their dating/social/communication skills and when they sense that they succeeded to gain the experience they wanted, they ghost you. Just after a few dates. Apparently we are now practicing tools for guys. Insane 😂
I am a Woman and I HATE TEXTING I HATE THE PHONE just not good at it doesn't matter who it is. A type personality. always busy.
I like that you said: who do you want to drive to cvs with? who do you have fun with when you are on the sofa? going to the Apple Store to return something. Life is about going to CVS... very true!!!!
This is so crazy. Ladies don’t sleep with him and most guys want to hookup not date.
Writing a book on personal experience does not an expert make. I forget what neurotic issue ick/disgust responses are connected to, but it's worth looking into. It's not something you want to be dating by, but it is something that belongs in therapy. Just as it so happens, our guest says she is.
yes, i also thought she needs to bring it to her psychotherapist, plus some other patterns in the dating dynamic she described.
but she also had good ideas
Are you saying there’s not really gross things about certain people, or such a lack of chemistry that you get the ick, and that it only shows a problem with your own psychology?
I met my husband and he assumed I would sleep with him. I was a virgin and had no intent of doing that. I told him he was rude. We had dinner many times and talked. 6 months later we got married.
i am a strong believer we need to try sex with different partners first to know ourselves better and also to know whom we chose.
but you do you. glad it worked
@@Sky10811well, we are all different and need different things.
Who sees a photo of a guy on a dating app and thinks "This is going to be my husband"?? Do people really do that?> That's so freaking creepy!!!
Dating is just a simple thing but dating nowadays becomes problematic after both guys and girls become deluded with all kinds of ideas that come from all the hurt gurus.
The box theory is actually divided in 2:
Romantic interest or sexual object.
Romantic interest means he wants to be romantically linked with you therefore the woman is considered 'marriage material'.
The category of 'sexual object' means the woman is basically seen as an appliance of one use only (ONS), fuckbuddies, fwb or placeholder relationship (when it looks like it's a serious relationship but he's still waiting for something better to come along).
And yes, men decide that on first sight. They also consider all women using dating apps as 'sexual objects' because that was their intent of joining the app and would never seen as something different.
What about a first contact by phone and then whatsapp chat? Does it count as courtship by using apps ?
Very interesting conversation! I disagree with her on a lot but I think a lot of her advice speaks to women who get obsessed too quickly. For instance, making an ick list might be very helpful to women blinded by attraction/love. I’m not convinced it would help me. I also don’t agree with her approach to lay all her flaws on the first date but it’s very interesting nonetheless to hear her approach!!❤
the flaw thing is about being authentic. however it leaves you exposed and more likely to be rejected on a first date, as people generally want to pick the best...we live in a fake world.
We all enjoy being acknowledged. We need some
Cheering UP, UPLIFTING audience . Make plans to RESPECT each OTHER. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, before anything becomes SERIOUS.
ACTIONS.
I wouldn't say give up. I would say take a step back
Super silly, overly simplificated theory, has nth to do with human experience and psychology. Humans emotions, feelings towards others and beliefs change through out time. Human dynamics are fluent. Most of it is not abdruptly changing but some are (so called 'passionate relationships). I know a plenty of people who changed their mind about the person their are dating both ways: fell in live in time or fell out of it. And how this lady is going to explain divorces or even a break up of a long term relationships? That it was 'decided from the beggining', that the guy spends years of him time, money, effort just to 'fool a woman'? And woman also are lying to the guys for years? This whole theory is so childlish and clickbaity, I'm impressed by Lisa's patience and poker face.
Loved this episode! Great conversation!
He doesn't say he wants me but he says we have a good time every time we are together even though that's been an off and on thing for four years. He was married and now he's divorced, and there's no dates, it's just us alone and I know it's a hookup. We aren't building anything and we know it. I recently told him to either put me in the same position I put myself in as valuable as hell or kick rocks.
Dirty guys that don't have a clean place is my deal breaker
Been there. It was a bit painful for me as we've been friends & in contact on & off. Then he came around after his divorce and after he told me he loves me (for a few years) his actions spoke otherwise. Sometimes we need to WE need an eye opener. We are no longer in contact. Even as friends
Why tell him?? He already showed you what he thought of you for years?? Why are you still looking for clues from him?? You should have left his ass a long time ago. You don't want to date a man who could have treated you like a backup booty call cos he knows you will never look for better for yourself cos you still expect him to completely change as a person one day when he "truly sees you". Please stop you are showing him you don't actually see yourself as valuable as hell cos he was still able to get access to you for years for bare minimum effort and no commitment. Valuable as hell would have blocked him and protected your peace and not wait around for his love and validation like there aren't 8 billion other ppl on this planet
@@divestfromdust I know who I am. He doesn't and either do you. There are three types of people on the planet. Those who are for betterment, those who aren't, and those who don't know how to make things better.
At first he was just acting. I didn't know that. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I left him alone in 2021. He didn't like being told no and watched my every move. I was still covered in God's powerful protection.
Psalm 45:7.
I wanted to believe he wasn't ugly inside. Why? Because I'm full of light and not ugly inside and yet I attract jealousy, and often men who don't grow and don't care to heal. The type of healing that hurts. Everyone goes through things. Oh, and there's something great on the other side of the struggle too. Many go the path of least resistance though. I wanted to leave an impression. I didn't just learn a lot I endured and was long-suffering, tender and kind as I paid attention to the reality of brokenness in a messy world. Ascension doesn't just happen and I'm the living proof.
@@czbunnie I understand completely.
Loved this whole video. Had given me so much clarity in what I was already thinking about my own dating journey.
You are making so much sense. The date is not an interview with cocktails. You really should be yourself. I have a great big laugh and my girlfriends ask me if I let it out on my dates! Absolutely! If he does not sit well with it he may not sit well with me.
So helpful, all ladies should hear. Thank you and your amazing guests. 💛
Its a good concept but I'm not sure all guys know what they want and i think they can change their minds too like we do
I agree with you. I’ve dated a lot in my 35 years, and have been through a lot with men. I used to look at things so black and white like this but matters of the heart are not something you can place in boxes and label them. It’s messy sometimes and there are a lot of gray areas because we’re human beings. Men do change their minds, they do go through periods where they have no clue what they want and actually do come back to a certain woman later on. Of course, never ever wait on a man. I’m just saying it’s not as easy as “if he doesn’t do this or that, he’s written you off forever or has placed you in the hookup box or non-serious box or whatever.” Love yourself and don’t settle for less than what you know you deserve, but also don’t throw in the towel and give up on someone super quick just because they’re going slower than you think they should and haven’t figured out if they want to date you just yet. It doesn’t always mean they’re players or wasting your time. And like she says, you have to be figuring out whether you want to date them or not too :)
@@KeysToTheHeartIf we are talking about men and not teenagers there are definitely boxes. Consider 25+.
There are basically 2 categories: romantic interest (marriage material) and sexual object.
And men decid this on first sight, a slow one might take a couple of dates to be sure.
The thing is that the sexual object is in an spectrum. He might look at you and think 'smash and dump' but if he's bored you might become a bootycall or fwb, and if he's bored and sees other advantages you might become a placeholder girlfriend but you'll never be a romantic interest.
And yes, all men work like that. A man might even marry a sexual object if it's convenient for him and his romantic interest is out of reach or he never met her.
But thins are like that
@@redleeks6253 The idea that "ALL men think like this" and "ALL women think like that" is a childish generalisation that oversimplifies things. People are way more complex and nuanced. People aren't robots programmed to have only 2 or 3 possible behaviours / "boxes". Some may think like that (teenagers and immature adults especially), but they do not represent the majority.
Omg, I've done the funeral thing. It works!! And I said the exact thing, "see you on the other side."😂
will do it tomorrow!
Funeral thing?
If a man wants me to pay for dates..he's immediately friend zoned.
And women, don't spoil it for the rest of us if you want to pay for dates, you're delusional if you think guys will respect you more if you pay for dates, he's laughing at you whilst he's paying hundreds $$$ on his Onlyfans 😂😂😂
Confirmdd 😂😂😂
Hahaha a excellent but maybe some women have the fear that if the man pays it is expected from her to sleep with him. Maybe that's why they want to pay so they don't owe the guy anything.
Yup don’t pay that’s stupid
@@LilaAlejandra_they dont owe to a man anything at any case
Not confirmed pornhub is free 😂😂😂
I love you, Lisa! Your contribution helping women dive the complexity of today's world is huge! God bless the fruits of your work. ♡
Super helpful! Great tidbits!
Pieces from the interview with he first “lady” were kind of interesting but overall not one I personally appreciate it. There are so many better things to focus on. People make money on love solutions and in reality the solution is within. That’s when the second interview comes along being way better. The answers to be found are way behind the superficial sleep around and understanding man behaviors. Another thing to be look at - Narcissism is intensively present nowadays and that’s a fact.
I don’t put people in boxes, that completely ignores their actual character. I try to get to know someone, plain and simple and let their actions prove who they are. Stop putting women in boxes, start TALKING to them on an authentic level. This is 2023 for crying out loud, are we really going backwards?!
I dont understand why people these days who have not met their person or other teachers that have had a string of messy divorces become dating or relationship coaches? If someone is giving this advice, it would have a greater impact in knowing their tools actually worked to find a healthy successful long-term relationship. Because that is the goal.
Another much needed one for me. The struggle is real.
Really and truly, the BEST thing you can do for yourself and your relationships (all of them) is to deal with and heal your attachment style and any related developmental trauma or neglect. Insecure attachment is the source of all relationship problems. And worse, insecure people attract other insecure people. Always a recipe for codependency and disaster. I recommend Personal Development School for this. Amazing channel, courses, knowledge, community, and just all around the best at attachment theory.
Hoffman process is also good
Eh, most people of both genders do this all the time!
It is probably in line with Pareto principle. 80% - 20%
Still be aware that even among those 20% there are still issues about codependency and insecurities.
WE ALL HAVE IT! At different awareness levels and subconscious patterns of behavior that can lie very deep in the subconscious. Those "issues" can and could be "rooted" even from previous lives, NO MATTER what you think about it (reincarnation)!
I am so relieved this conversation makes me feel normal.
Hit the nail on the head 100% with needing validation
Your guess was speaking to me. I really enjoyed all of the personal experiences she discussed and different types of relationship situations you can be in with a guy. Most of all, using your intuition to know if the guy is interested in you or not.👍
We were told 💩 about men …..but let me fill you in …..men value SEX , MONEY, POWER , CONTROL and NOTORIETY …..Ladies …..where do you see LOVE in this ?
That's what they love
not true at all.. men are human beings... are all women the same? why this tendency to generalise in this way?
thanks for mentioning me praising me in the show
I’m surprised you had her on this high quality show. This woman has the maturity level of a middle schooler and a toxic middle schooler at that. She has to make an actual list of mean things about a person to use in case he dumps her and will therefore feel ok about it. Really toxic.
I truly love this show and I personally feel this guest really doesn’t have great advice for women. She seems to have a lot bias opinions towards men. She has a lot of room to grow and I would take the advice she gives with a grain of salt. Maybe it’s just me since I was born in the late 70’s .
GREAT conversation~! Either he likes you, can carry a conversation of mutual interest, gets back to you, is interesting.... OR NOT! What is not to get here!!!!! We don't need to make it complicated. Either he/we are interested or not....... NEXT!
She is amazing wow such a warm vibe and so true i relate like to everyrhing from the “you decide what u want”, and humor/sarcasm etc. 💕💕
53:17
Watch out here. If you have "friends" and "family" that are toxic, envious, jealous, competitive etcetera. This advice Will bring you Down fast.
Not Everyone smiling to your Face is rooting for you. And that can take decades to uncover. The loving facade.
Thank you Lisa! This was so enlightening!
Interesting and a bit more controversial this time. I wouldn‘t say „men should always pay, because they are paid more.“ I‘d say, whoever invites to that location should clarify in advance. In my culture there are two words for „invite“ one means „I invite you and pay“ the other means „come join me (and pay for yourself)“ So whatever invite you give and would accept, that sets the whole expectation for that evening. So both men and women can pay. That depends on who initiated the evening. No one should take any offense in anything. It‘s just a gesture. People should be more grateful for whatever someone is willing to do for them, instead of feeling attacked because of their low self esteem or complex. I am a woman myself and to me, everyone is human. There is no „men should, women should“. Do what the fuck you want and if it feels right then perfect. Pass the vibe check, be yourself, be self aware, recognize manipulation and be confident enough to back up into your own independence when the other person turns out to be a prick. Woman or man.
Yes and there is a cultural element that many don't understand. Men from certain cultures would be offended if a woman offered to pay for drinks or meal especially on a first date. Having said that I just had a first date. He doesn't have a car so I picked him up. I therefore didn't feel at all awkward about him paying for the (expensive) cocktails. 😂
Learn so much from this conversation! Thank you
Yup, that’s me. I gave up on dating and never been happier!
OMG! This was just amazing. So insightful and informative. Thanks. 😊
So interesting about the funeral... I do something different... I tell myself that the guy has moved to the MOON permanently whether he or I have ended it. Therefore, I cannot communicate with him ever again. I disable all of our connections/block our communications TOTALLY. I've been doing this for many years.... and it brings me a lot of peace. 🥰
Smelled him...YES! I miss good smelling men. When I lived in NYC, it was rare that a man didn't smell good. In my area of Florida, a good smelling man is so rare.
I have quit dating because all I've found is that men aren't interested in dating. They ONLY want to hook up, despite what lies they tell about wanting a relationship.
Or...one man, met on a dating site, messages were interesting, he had lots to say. Met in person and the second I met in person, I wasn't feeling it at all. Then the date...trying to have a conversation was like pulling teeth.
*You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.*
20 mins in and I this so much! She is my girl, I would also prefer talking about black holes then ones job.
I LIKE HER!! So many gems in this conversation.
I feel these women are not talking to the "real' women. The norm struggles with friendships. People are so busy trying to pay their bills. No one has time to cultivate friendships. People are suffering. These women are addressing the Kardashian crowd.
Good advice from the very start! Box theory is not giving up, it is accepting reality in a very efficient and empowering way. It takes two people to make a relationship, and we can only control OUR choices, not the other person’s.
Stuff and things do tell a lot about someone. You can look at a old car as see someone who doesn’t have enough money for a new one or that cars is not this guy’s priority.
We’ve got to remember that this perception is our own, and where we are projecting versus where we are making an assessment of what and who is appropriate for us.
Still be friend with someone you slept will/ Being friend with someobe you find attractive and yu are emotionally intimate with him. = Situationship.
Goal can be a nice PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP IS HEALTHY. NOT BAD. NOT WRONG.
Yes, totally given up dating!!!
If that's what you need to do to build yourself back again do it. When you're ready to date again then you'll be out and strong and know what you want uour boundaries etc. I have been divorced 9 years I took me years taking care of myself now I'm ready it feels great. I date a lot but nothing I like yet 😅 one date half a date and I'm back home I won't give up I refuse
Sex and love and relationship are 3 different things. It's nice if they're combined, but that's rare. You can have love with no sex or commitment. You can have sex with no love or commitment. You can have a commitment with no love or sex.
I like the ick list. lol Having the tendency to overlook things that bother me or make excuses this advice is helpful.
Yes women will text guys who don’t appear to be interested because they can’t handle rejection. And if you’re a woman who is used to getting attention you’ll continue to try and get the guy who gives you no validation which can lead to chasing a possible unhealthy man…
I love this guest! 🌹🌻
Also in regards to guys being “scared” to pay…. Here’s an idea, before they ask for the clack they say the following to the date, “I’m having a great time with you tonight, and I would love to pay for dinner if that’s alright with you.” Then a conversation can be had… and it doesn’t become this awkward encounter.
Wow! Such an amazing session. I see us as woman how can empathize or experiencing these things have some work to do . We a the thermostat not the thermometer.
Loved this so much!!! 👏🏼👏🏼🫶
I love Lisa because she’s so authentic, like a child,also she has her own authentic personality, not the clones valley girl way of speaking.
Oh my goodness...waited for him to give in 😂... just wasted 3 years. Note to self... raise the bar!!!
Thank you Lisa and Christina ✌️🙏🌹❤️🌈
I totally do that same thing...if I don't shave I think that's insurance I won't sleep with the guy😆
Hi Lisa 😊 Thanks you so much For all the great topics! Ladies and guys for who watching I am single since 7 years without to have any sexual interaction because it's my choice in this period of my life it's not because about the opportunity I missed out it because I crossed man I knew they gonna "used me" for they own gain it's something I personnaly refuse and I love in this interview the importance to know where you stand 😊 They're nothing wrong with that 😃 I decide to built my empire to be successful since a year because this the priority I want to focus 😊 Lisa change my perception in my life because I have High Standard and I even start my youtube channel a year ago and last month I started to write my book 😊 Thank you so much Lisa for the Inspiration 😇 Take Care 😊Anaïs
I RESONATE with you Anais 🥰
@@coachnursececille 😉
So done with dating!
I thoroughly enjoyed the interviews.
Watched it twice. Will definitely buy the books.
Thank you for the good advice and insight🎉.
The best advice I've heard for a long time in a lot of it... I totally agree with her with some parts, NOT so much in other parts. 💯💯
Yet it is Real Talk, Raw, which is good! Love how simple she breaks it down her opinions. 🙌🏻🙌🏻
You can be in the Date Box, then be put in the Hook-up Box. Also.
Yes, true many women do that, I've noticed. Thank God I don't make any a movies in my mind about anyone I meet. That may only happen when I know a man well. At the most.
But it's interesting points of views.
This goes for the ones who say oh yes I do want a relationship but still find it difficult to stay in a committed relationship. What he meant to say is I like being in multiple relationships. Then says well I'm not used to being in one. Boy what?! Well maybe you should have stated that in the very beginning. Or they finally say I have trouble with commitment yeah I will never ever try to change someone with that mindset. They will disappoint you in the end. They will play out all the nice words/actions but later on down the line it was just a facade. He was painting your picture just didn't tell you he was no longer wanting to be a part of said picture.
Love her! Her speech about him not being able to afford a drink then he’s not going to be able to afford the potential pregnancy that may result, and the minor worries men have about paying the bill compared to what women worry about on a first date. She’s right on point about everything
Great episode! Although I wouldn't suggest anyone telling their date that they like porn on the first date. 😂
would look into what belief stops you from that)
I'm so in the hookup box and girls, there are no windows in here!!!! 😂
Psyychologists say that it depends in which phase the man is in.Is he in the ONE NIGHT STAND PHASE..then he sees you as a One night stand.this lady is very right!!!
Very great discussion learned a lot from this
Thank you for these podcasts! Lisa I hear what you are saying, if I heard you correctly I am a person that grew up not being the most beautiful girl around and my experience when a guy liked me my "friends" and other girls were like what felt liek "how does he like this girl'. It felt negative and all I tried was to be I am happy you are happy when you meet someone you enjoy why is it when I find someone there was too much involvement which always ended up in heartache and confirmation of I was not deserving. Growing older Is great due to knowing about myself and not worrying so much anymore. The challenge currently at 50 is letting go of people who do not fit anymore. Which is tremendously difficult at the same time liberating. Then what comes next ..
Love, love, loved this episode!!
A man being afraid that a woman will be upset over who pays the bill is such a turn-off.
THIS definitely resonates with me.
Tink is right about EVERYTHING ❤
I wouldn't say that