Jake Hill & Josh A - Suicidal Thoughts

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Комментарии • 16 тыс.

  • @iamactuallyjakehill
    @iamactuallyjakehill  5 месяцев назад +53

    on tour this summer! linktr.ee/jakehilltour

  • @hectictrolls6176
    @hectictrolls6176 3 года назад +8618

    " Depression is like u don't wanna die , but also don't wanna exist "

    • @yeetskeet1581
      @yeetskeet1581 3 года назад +206

      good quote but depression is many things, not just that. not disagreeing with your quote just pointing out that its a mental illness with many expressions

    • @iambackyo6803
      @iambackyo6803 3 года назад +16

      Yup

    • @azzerith6339
      @azzerith6339 3 года назад +12

      Yea

    • @animeedits3865
      @animeedits3865 3 года назад +11

      @@yeetskeet1581 yea

    • @azzerith6339
      @azzerith6339 3 года назад +3

      @@alexdaniel5641 how did you talk to me

  • @Melvolant
    @Melvolant 3 года назад +3767

    When I was a kid, I thought crying out loud was the most pain ever thought of, but crying in silence is like killing yourself slowly of that which you have no control over.

    • @anonymouseidk1466
      @anonymouseidk1466 3 года назад +37

      Well some people like to cry in silence and that some people is all of me I really want to cry right now it’s really hard to

    • @pcmkx
      @pcmkx 3 года назад +9

      that hit😔

    • @kami0
      @kami0 3 года назад +10

      sooo deeepppp maaaannnnnnnnn😭😭😭🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙😭😭😭😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲🥲😂🥺😂🥺😂😭😂🥺😂😭🥺

    • @pcmkx
      @pcmkx 3 года назад +3

      @@kami0 different typa heartbreak 😮‍💨

    • @slewlovesu4408
      @slewlovesu4408 3 года назад +1

      don't commit suicide that shit kills you..

  • @thegoldencompany4191
    @thegoldencompany4191 5 лет назад +14624

    "Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright" who else felt that?
    (-) yall aint alone 🙏

  • @alteringtherealities1522
    @alteringtherealities1522 2 года назад +343

    "I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright, but everyday I feel like dying." i relate to this way more than i should

    • @BirdTheCat
      @BirdTheCat 2 года назад +5

      Same

    • @primisoda1400
      @primisoda1400 Год назад +2

      lmao stop capping

    • @teiubids
      @teiubids 8 месяцев назад

      Jesus loves you

    • @kenziebell-wu1re
      @kenziebell-wu1re 5 месяцев назад

      Same and I'm 13

    • @madisonboysen-oq1cd
      @madisonboysen-oq1cd 4 месяца назад

      i feel you i relate to this whole song but the part were it says to F to killing my self bc ill just bottle it up some more tell the death of me

  • @extcmusic
    @extcmusic 4 года назад +13351

    its funny how everyone who searches this song puts 'song' at the end to avoid some conversations lol

  • @petestunken
    @petestunken 6 лет назад +3007

    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna f*cking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 1: Josh A]
    Why do I even try?
    Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night
    Trying to find a new outlet
    The devil pouncin'
    I hear him howling, my vision clouded
    Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
    Try to be strong when I deal with the pain (yuh)
    But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options
    Gotta work till' I'm dead
    So that they get the best
    Don't wanna set up a bad example cause the kids looking up
    Can't leave in shambles can't make them think clocking out's ok
    So f*ck suicide I'm here to stay
    [Bridge: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    (nah, man)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Chorus: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna f*cking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 2: Jake Hill]
    One too many bad thoughts inside me
    Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
    I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
    I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
    Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
    Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
    (Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    Never meant to let you down
    I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out
    (f*ck)
    Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god
    I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up
    But he called my bluff
    [Bridge: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    (nah, man)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Outro: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna f*cking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    (Muffled)
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna f*cking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

  • @kenzieberwick7462
    @kenzieberwick7462 5 лет назад +4858

    "I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright" i felt that

    • @beefboss4203
      @beefboss4203 4 года назад +45

      yeah same with all the shit going around the world and me fucking myself up even tho i keep telling myself to stop

    • @kenzieberwick7462
      @kenzieberwick7462 4 года назад +5

      @@beefboss4203 yeh

    • @robbidyrob3787
      @robbidyrob3787 4 года назад +8

      we felt that

    • @mymom3373
      @mymom3373 4 года назад +17

      @@beefboss4203 I keep telling myself to stop watching something inappropriate on RUclips. Every single time I do watch it I feel like dying. Like what the song said. ;(

    • @RAHHHHHHHH394
      @RAHHHHHHHH394 4 года назад +17

      I felt that shit at the bottom of my shattered heart

  • @spikips9375
    @spikips9375 3 года назад +496

    I remember when i first heard this song when it came out. I was this really positive kid who never had depression before but still loved the beat and the song. 4 years later and a lot of shit after i saw this song and started to cry for some reason. At that moment i realised i've suffered through depression for a long time now but i never realised it. The lyrics just hit so deep.

    • @alexanderbrenner6953
      @alexanderbrenner6953 2 года назад +7

      So true, once you read the lyrics then you will understand how he feels

    • @marcombr8371
      @marcombr8371 2 года назад

      I just did the Same shit, i cant live more , i am 18 and i been thinking about suicide everyday since i am 15 , i legit just want to die or cut my veins

    • @jeffmcclelland3215
      @jeffmcclelland3215 2 года назад +11

      the one thing I learned is that the person who has smiled the most times has also cried the most times.

    • @raptix5619
      @raptix5619 Год назад +3

      You haven't gone trough depression if you need a song to realize it. You're not depressed if anything you may have small period where you are sad but youre definetely not depressed

    • @iwillbrb8723
      @iwillbrb8723 Год назад +2

      @@raptix5619 oh my god thank you, liteerally everyone in these song comments are dumping their 'life story' but somehow they all were just never depressed before???? i can't stand it. It's like they WANT to be depressed because it's like a trend or something. It's bullshit.

  • @blissconnect_
    @blissconnect_ 3 года назад +3892

    [Jake Hill:]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Josh A:]
    Why do I even try?
    Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night
    Trying to find a new outlet
    The devil pounced in
    I hear him howling, my vision clouded
    Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
    Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
    (Yuh) Put a bitch in the coffin, so my family has options
    Gonna work till' I'm dead
    So that they get the best
    Don't wanna set up a bad example cause' kids looking up
    Can't leave them in shambles can't make them think clocking out is ok
    So fuck suicide I'm here to stay
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    (Nah, nah)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Jake Hill:]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    One too many bad thoughts inside me
    Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
    I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
    I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
    Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
    Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
    (Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    Never meant to let you down
    I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out
    (Fuck)
    Never giving in I swear to God, no matter how many times I pray to a God
    I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up
    But he called my bluff
    [Josh A:]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    (Nah, nah)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Jake Hill:]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    (Muffled)
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

  • @mimixz04
    @mimixz04 5 лет назад +1110

    "just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright “

    • @mrzwonderful6205
      @mrzwonderful6205 5 лет назад +12

      We all want to

    • @emelycorsino9791
      @emelycorsino9791 5 лет назад +3

      Something we all know we want but yet something we all know isn't real 😔😭💔

    • @slothboy591
      @slothboy591 5 лет назад +4

      I looked at ur comment while it played in the song at the same time

    • @jekjeklaron7008
      @jekjeklaron7008 5 лет назад +2

      Its everyday bro yeah its everyday bro

    • @bisexualbonobo8616
      @bisexualbonobo8616 5 лет назад +1

      FuryyyX every day i feel like dying

  • @zoyanavidhassan
    @zoyanavidhassan 4 года назад +2042

    when you want people to stop hurting you but then you realize you're the one hurting yourself

    • @RavenGames224
      @RavenGames224 4 года назад +9

      Same

    • @samiraarabella1801
      @samiraarabella1801 4 года назад +11

      Man😭

    • @fifty6289
      @fifty6289 4 года назад +19

      Than you also realize you're 12 and so is everyone replying

    • @pinkddpat
      @pinkddpat 4 года назад +6

      r/im14andthisisdeep

    • @lovebite4748
      @lovebite4748 4 года назад +14

      @@pinkddpat r/Iinvalidateteensmentalhealth

  • @car2see163
    @car2see163 2 года назад +121

    “Sleep isn’t just sleep anymore, it’s your best escape from reality”

    • @TheVeryMrSirJosh
      @TheVeryMrSirJosh 2 года назад +3

      Felt that

    • @taurushere6380
      @taurushere6380 2 года назад

      yeah

    • @art3m1z92
      @art3m1z92 2 года назад +4

      Sleeping is like being dead just without the commitment

    • @teiubids
      @teiubids 8 месяцев назад +2

      Jesus loves you 😊

    • @Whocares158
      @Whocares158 8 месяцев назад

      I always look forward to Sleep it's the only way of knowing true peace.

  • @xjsmykxx_1240
    @xjsmykxx_1240 4 года назад +891

    [Hook: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 1: Josh A]
    Why do I even try?
    Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night
    Trying to find a new outlet
    The devil pounced in
    I hear him howling, my vision clouded
    Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
    Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
    (yuh) Put a bitch in the coffin, so my family has options
    Gonna work till' I'm dead
    So that they get the best
    Don't wanna set up a bad example cause' kids looking up
    Can't leave them in shambles can't make them think clocking out is ok
    So fuck suicide I'm here to stay
    [Chorus: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    (nah, nah)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Hook: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 2: Jake Hill]
    One too many bad thoughts inside me
    Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
    I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
    I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
    Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
    Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
    (Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    Never meant to let you down
    I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out
    (Fuck)
    Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god
    I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up
    But he called my bluff
    [Chorus: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
    (nah, nah)
    I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
    I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now
    [Outro: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    (Muffled)
    I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

    • @horfallwest1865
      @horfallwest1865 4 года назад +7

      Thank you

    • @zashinunes8191
      @zashinunes8191 4 года назад +2

      Up

    • @quelquunquelquepart2845
      @quelquunquelquepart2845 4 года назад +8

      Thx a lot, for a french guy it's not easy to follow him ! 😅

    • @quelquunquelquepart2845
      @quelquunquelquepart2845 4 года назад +6

      (I don't even know if my sentence make sense... And same for this one... Yeah, french people are fuckingly bad in English...)

    • @takumi6216
      @takumi6216 4 года назад +2

      Quelqu'un quelque part effectivement ptdr , Même si mon niveau en anglais et quand même pas mal pour une jeune fille de 12 ans , j’ai du mal à entendre dans les musiques ou le son passe avant les vocalises si tu vois ce que je veux dire xD

  • @nosanitypx2282
    @nosanitypx2282 5 лет назад +22028

    Roses are dead
    Violets are dying
    Depression aint no joke
    Many kids are crying

  • @thelunasalpha4338
    @thelunasalpha4338 5 лет назад +767

    What they say: it will get better
    What they mean: you’ll get used to the pain

    • @torihoskinson562
      @torihoskinson562 5 лет назад +6

      That is very true and that's sad

    • @18rxfi
      @18rxfi 5 лет назад +4

      Hits different

    • @AyhamSpaceE
      @AyhamSpaceE 5 лет назад +1

      Yoongi makes me always smile.. (:

    • @sleepyashie
      @sleepyashie 5 лет назад +2

      Damn that hit

    • @introjkjm9350
      @introjkjm9350 5 лет назад +4

      It’s true but let’s try to love ourselves :)

  • @CatPCgaming
    @CatPCgaming 3 года назад +348

    Honestly, this is the most relatable song I've found in awhile.

    • @echospace7347
      @echospace7347 2 года назад +3

      Listen to more music by him

    • @VANCOF_NOT_ALIVE
      @VANCOF_NOT_ALIVE Год назад +1

      Listen to citizen soldier

    • @abelmartinez3196
      @abelmartinez3196 10 месяцев назад +1

      Listen to bullet by Hollywood undead

    • @damianmontiel6364
      @damianmontiel6364 10 месяцев назад

      Yeah

    • @SADxDUCK1991
      @SADxDUCK1991 5 месяцев назад

      youd hate my playlists then .... i wish youtube never threw them videos at me , especially considering now they are skipping songs and fking with my playlists ....
      p.s. is there a way to stop that , do you know ?

  • @xtaniwhax9655
    @xtaniwhax9655 5 лет назад +2689

    Me: **gets mild depression**
    Everyone in my family: its those pesky headphones

    • @yernef350
      @yernef350 5 лет назад +41

      If you only listen to sad songs yeah its those pesky headphones ^^

    • @xtaniwhax9655
      @xtaniwhax9655 5 лет назад +126

      @@yernef350 that's not how it works, I listen to sad songs cause I can relate to them, it's not the music or headphones it's the shitty people at school and my messed up family

    • @yernef350
      @yernef350 5 лет назад +27

      @@xtaniwhax9655 The music doesnt help it also puts you in a certain mood, theres actual research behind, for example a lower bpm will tend to make you sad and a higher bpm will make you happier. So it also does, i didnt mean its all of it.

    • @xtaniwhax9655
      @xtaniwhax9655 5 лет назад +42

      @@yernef350 it does help
      This is a sad song so I'll be sad and happy another time and if your such a no it all about happiness then what the hell are you doing here in this depressed side of RUclips

    • @xtaniwhax9655
      @xtaniwhax9655 5 лет назад +13

      @@yernef350... Sorry

  • @hahockey6842
    @hahockey6842 5 лет назад +2399

    Me:Gets depression
    Family: *its from being on that PC all day*

  • @chrissuper
    @chrissuper 7 лет назад +576

    Lyrics (from what I hear, if I'm wrong feel free to correct me)
    I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fuckin' die
    just wanna be able to close my eyes
    and feel alright, but every day I feel like dyin'
    every day I feel like dyin'
    Why do I even try, why do I even write
    lyrics about how I'm livin' the life
    when I'm battlin' pain
    and my demons at night
    trying to find a new outlet
    the devil pounced in
    I hear him howlin'
    my vision cloudin'
    man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
    try to be strong when I deal with the pain
    yah, but I'm ditchin' the coffin
    so my family has options
    gonna work till I'm dead
    so that they get the best
    don't wanna set up a bad example
    'cause kids lookin' up
    can't live with shambles
    can't let them think clockin' outs okay
    so fuck suicide I'm here to stay
    tried to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    wastin' all my time
    tryna find the light
    tried to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    wastin' all my time
    tryna find the light
    I'll be at it runnin'
    I'll be runnin' from myself now
    gunning demons down
    find my way out of the cell now
    I'll be runnin' oh
    I'll be runnin' from myself now
    gunning demons down
    find my way out of the cell now
    I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fuckin' die
    just wanna be able to close my eyes
    and feel alright, but every day I feel like dyin'
    every day I feel like dyin'
    one too many bad thoughts inside me
    got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
    I'm pressed for time I'm stressed with life
    my breath is ice I guess I might just
    bottle it up some more just like always
    barely stand to crawl down the hallways
    sink into my bed, with death inside my head
    That note you found, I didn't mean it
    just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    never meant to let you down
    I've been down and out
    erasing thoughts, I had to drown 'em out FUCK
    Never givin' in I swear to god
    no matter how many times I pray to a god
    that I don't believe in, just to see if I'll never wake up
    but he called my bluff
    tried to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    wastin' all my time
    tryna find the light
    tried to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    wastin' all my time
    tryna find the light
    I'll be at it runnin'
    I'll be runnin' from myself now
    gunning demons down
    find my way out of the cell now
    I'll be runnin' oh
    I'll be runnin' from myself now
    gunning demons down
    find my way out of the cell now
    I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fuckin' die
    just wanna be able to close my eyes
    and feel alright, but every day I feel like dyin'
    every day I feel like dyin'
    *I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fuckin' die* (distorted)
    *just wanna be able to close my eyes*
    *and feel alright, but every day I feel like dyin'*
    *every day I feel like dyin'*
    If anyone has suicidal thoughts or if you just don't think that you're good enough, please call the suicidal prevention hotline
    like the song says, "fuck suicide I'm here to stay" everyone has a purpose and a place in life, bad things happen to everyone and we just gotta fight through it!
    1-800-273-8255

    • @nesss99
      @nesss99 7 лет назад +5

      Upvote

    • @TazSRT7
      @TazSRT7 7 лет назад +15

      pin this shit!

    • @brandonmacintosh9698
      @brandonmacintosh9698 7 лет назад +9

      I'll be runnin' from myself now
      gunning demons down, find my way out of the cell now
      Kinda sounds like this in the part where you put (IDK)

    • @Zuignap
      @Zuignap 7 лет назад +14

      I think "but he caught me bluff" should be "but he called my bluff" at (2:00)

    • @chrissuper
      @chrissuper 7 лет назад +1

      Brandon MacIntosh Yeah now I can hear it, I fixed it.

  • @chinharry8746
    @chinharry8746 Год назад +18

    The fact that it shows a suicidal warning just shows how powerful it is.

  • @itsyaboisoup4616
    @itsyaboisoup4616 3 года назад +1346

    2 years ago I was in high school I put this song on repeat because it represented how I felt. I was filled with depression and anxiety and it gotten so bad I resorted to drinking at school. I would’ve gotten kicked out if it weren’t for the personal issues I was dealing with at the time. But now I’m learning on how to control my anxiety and depression and how to live with it instead of being constantly haunted by it. If you’re ever going through anything just know you do have the strength to continue on and to never give up and Stay strong.

    • @BaileesWRLD
      @BaileesWRLD 3 года назад +11

      How are you doing now

    • @joshuabatt137
      @joshuabatt137 3 года назад +9

      Hey dude are you okay

    • @emilywilson1002
      @emilywilson1002 3 года назад +8

      I hope your doing better now friend.

    • @stefhackgamatos5401
      @stefhackgamatos5401 3 года назад +6

      Exactly

    • @colorstorm4136
      @colorstorm4136 3 года назад +5

      Im in highschool too right now and i really feel this song. I have to do so many things that my life doesnt feel like its my life. I dont even know for what im alive

  • @11skylars
    @11skylars 5 лет назад +534

    **gets grounded for thinking about suicide**

    • @rawr9977
      @rawr9977 5 лет назад +28

      Wth , they need to be slapped

    • @tylersinclair5167
      @tylersinclair5167 5 лет назад +25

      #relatable and for cutting

    • @some__kid
      @some__kid 5 лет назад +20

      Yeah my dad just gets mad at me whenever I cut myself. That's why when I relapsed earlier I never reached out. I'll just get punished

    • @Eli-ld1vg
      @Eli-ld1vg 5 лет назад +24

      DUDE MY MOM TOOK MY PHONE AWAY FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND CUTTING WTF

    • @tylersinclair5167
      @tylersinclair5167 5 лет назад +3

      @@Eli-ld1vg same. Love the name

  • @sonam9881
    @sonam9881 5 лет назад +981

    *"Why do I even try?"*
    This speaks to me on so many levels

  • @Matteyjanable
    @Matteyjanable 3 года назад +50

    This fucking song hits home... Damn... 28 years saying fuck it I will stay. And now this song pops up and BAM I cry. This shit hit home hard.

  • @quickerblazelol4367
    @quickerblazelol4367 5 лет назад +2470

    I’m not suicidal
    I don’t wanna f*cking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But everyday I feel like dying
    Everyday I feel like dying
    Why do I even try
    Why do I even write lyrics about how I’m living the life
    When I’m battling pain and my demons at night
    Trying to find a new outlet
    The devil pouncing
    I here him howling
    My vision clouding
    Man I try to escape but there aint no way
    Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
    Yah But I’m ditching the coffin
    So my family has options
    Gonna work till I’m dead
    So that they get the best
    Don’t wanna set up a bad example
    Cause kids looking up can’t leave in shambles
    Can’t make them think clocking out is ok
    So f*ck suicide I’m here to stay
    Try to free my mind
    I don’t know what’s right
    Wasting all my time
    Trying to find a light
    Try to free my mind
    I don’t know what’s right
    Wasting all my time
    Trying to find a light
    All be out here running
    All be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down
    Find my way out of this hell now
    All be running now
    All be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down
    Find my way out of this hell now
    I’m not suicidal
    I don’t wanna f*cking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But everyday I feel like dying
    Everyday I feel like dying
    One too many bad thoughts inside me
    Got a hole in my heart
    Put the past behind me
    I’m pressed for time
    I’m stressed with life
    My breath is ice
    I guess I might just
    bottle it up some more
    Just like always
    Barely stand I crawl down the hallway
    Sink into my bed
    with death inside my head
    That note you found I didn’t mean it
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    Never meant to let you down
    I’ve been down and out
    Racing thoughts I had to drown them out
    F*ck
    Never giving in
    I swear to god no matter how many times I pray to a god
    I don’t believe in
    Just to see if i would never wake up
    But he called my bluff
    Try to free my mind
    I don’t know what’s right
    Wasting all my time
    Trying to find a light
    Try to free my mind
    I don’t know what’s right
    Wasting all my time
    Trying to find a light
    No, no
    I’ll be out here running
    I’ll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down
    Find my way out of this hell now
    I’ll be running now
    I’ll be running from myself now
    Gunning demons down
    Find my way out of this hell now
    I’m not suicidal
    I don’t wanna f*cking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But everyday I feel like dying
    Everyday I feel like dying
    (I’m not suicidal
    I don’t wanna f*cking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But everyday I feel like dying
    Everyday I feel like dying)

  • @engineer2323
    @engineer2323 5 лет назад +4229

    00:13 her defasında ''Anasını satayım'' diyecek sanıyorum

  • @levantinedoomer2317
    @levantinedoomer2317 5 лет назад +470

    *Social anxiety has joined the server* and you can Never leave...

  • @yemliha5170
    @yemliha5170 3 года назад +192

    Why are these songs not getting the recognition they deserve?

  • @HelpMe-pw8qu
    @HelpMe-pw8qu 4 года назад +194

    "I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright, but everyday I feel like dying, everyday I feel like dying..."
    I actually felt that.

    • @MariaVasquez-ws3qp
      @MariaVasquez-ws3qp 4 года назад

      Help Me : same here to

    • @GhostBouDB
      @GhostBouDB 4 года назад +1

      We’re with you on that one.

    • @zxylon959
      @zxylon959 4 года назад

      Same dude

    • @emilygyulumyan4373
      @emilygyulumyan4373 4 года назад +2

      I lost my best friend, he's dead, i don't feel anything i don't want to live anymore, i haven't motivation i don't see something good in life

    • @malikirose979
      @malikirose979 4 года назад

      normal people: "your fine, get over yourself, there is nothing wrong with you"
      me: your why i feel like this

  • @shadowishere7115
    @shadowishere7115 4 года назад +2463

    Nobody wants to die they just wanna be free from the pain...

    • @cristianbarbu6347
      @cristianbarbu6347 3 года назад +20

      Pills are better 😬!

    • @stephensmith3184
      @stephensmith3184 3 года назад +30

      Or just not exist...

    • @bxmbxr
      @bxmbxr 3 года назад +3

      ...

    • @catkin8330
      @catkin8330 3 года назад +12

      I do want to be free from pain
      It's not even about someone abusing me (like my brother but it is one thing) the main thing that keeps harassing me the main thought...
      Is how I use to HURT my friends I lost control of my anger and harm them, looking at them... They remind me of myself (here come their names)
      I was as ignorant as Leo
      As Annoying as Molly
      As naive as Serena
      And as soft as Caitlin
      I could easily be hurt lost control and hurt my friends... I was ignorant and didn't realise how bad I was... I was annoying...I was a monster but im trying to improve and I did, but they don't see it... If they only saw or hear how much they mean to me... I hurt them so I tried importing ITS FOR THEM which I became better... For them! They don't know that... It was them who took me out of the darkness, now I just try to smile so brightly that it blinds the darkness so I will be here even if my friends turn against me... Everyone makes their own purpose of living... My one is to protect my friends even if it would cost my life, because they are everything to me... I wish I could tell them this but I can't... I just can't...

    • @user-ig6qc7pv6t
      @user-ig6qc7pv6t 3 года назад +1

      Ama bjk hala küçük kulüp 😭😭😭

  • @crowsinaden742
    @crowsinaden742 5 лет назад +3071

    The saddest thing is... the entire new generation is depressed but the past generation doesn't understand

    • @しくじも
      @しくじも 5 лет назад +89

      yeah, no, thats bullshit

    • @THATONEM1N3CR4FT3R
      @THATONEM1N3CR4FT3R 5 лет назад +9

      lol no

    • @THATONEM1N3CR4FT3R
      @THATONEM1N3CR4FT3R 5 лет назад +32

      @I like 2K sounds like depression to me

    • @newb2676
      @newb2676 5 лет назад +70

      @I like 2K No, many of kids, especially ones my age, romanticize things like depression and so therefore a great many are in this romanticized depression than a real depression. I hear "oh I'm so depressed" all the time though they seem perfectly fine and content with themselves.

    • @yourlocalstinkbug1145
      @yourlocalstinkbug1145 5 лет назад +19

      I was lucky my dad had severe depression and took meds for it so he took my depression and anxiety very seriously

  • @lolichicken5373
    @lolichicken5373 2 года назад +139

    I wish I could close my eyes and open them again to find my self in a better world

  • @SectionC970
    @SectionC970 6 лет назад +216

    "I'll be running from myself now" Jeeeez that's a new level of depression.

    • @aalex6394
      @aalex6394 6 лет назад +2

      Ahmad Amjed oof

    • @holidayodell5000
      @holidayodell5000 6 лет назад +10

      I have been for a while bruh get on my level

    • @radioaudio69
      @radioaudio69 6 лет назад +3

      Ahmad Amjed Welcome to My Brain. Enjoy your stay.

    • @imgay6885
      @imgay6885 6 лет назад +1

      I've been on that level of depression since I was 8, I'm 12 now.

    • @SectionC970
      @SectionC970 6 лет назад

      @@imgay6885 holy... it seems I'm just out of this Earth cuz God dam your 8 to 12 depressed? Hope you feel good some day bud all support.

  • @boneshd_6133
    @boneshd_6133 5 лет назад +150

    “That note you found I didn’t mean it”
    Wow that actually just happened to me this past week
    This song is so relatable

    • @proskillzoverforthelolol
      @proskillzoverforthelolol 5 лет назад +3

      Lmao pussssy

    • @beanking3668
      @beanking3668 5 лет назад +9

      pro skillz over 9000 for the lolol
      You are a bad person.

    • @madamelovelace9545
      @madamelovelace9545 5 лет назад +8

      @@proskillzoverforthelolol bitch please. everyone has shit to deal with, you shouldn't comment this. let them have emotions. holy fuck

    • @Dude-ng3gy
      @Dude-ng3gy 5 лет назад +2

      Madame Lovelace
      He’s a troll, leave him alone. He’ll fuck off eventually.

    • @tikimtz8131
      @tikimtz8131 5 лет назад

      Faxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • @crowofjudgement8810
    @crowofjudgement8810 3 года назад +506

    This song is aggressively telling me that everything will be ok... And I'm completely ok with that, be safe everyone you'll be ok no matter how hard life may seem stay strong 🙏

    • @zyrexnotpyrex3205
      @zyrexnotpyrex3205 3 года назад +1

      No :(

    • @Br34dL04f
      @Br34dL04f 3 года назад +8

      Sadly, my hope died. Only thing left to me is my internet friends. Only people who supports me without saying "It's your fault", "You are annoying", "If you are that emotional then you have to be in mental hospital" like my family doing.

    • @gerardwayseyelash
      @gerardwayseyelash 3 года назад +1

      @@Br34dL04f Are you doing okay?

    • @Br34dL04f
      @Br34dL04f 3 года назад +3

      @@gerardwayseyelash Not really. I want to die for months and having panic attacks about death at the same time. Im getting annoyed by everything and feel like soon I gonna cut my veins even more.

    • @johnthicc865
      @johnthicc865 2 года назад +1

      @@Br34dL04f bro I went through this I cut my veins too but just trust me there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's very hard cuz I know how it feels but just... Believe in yourself and you will make it through ❤️

  • @robertmacdermid456
    @robertmacdermid456 3 года назад +20

    “I’m not suicidal I don’t wanna f*cking die just wanna close my eyes and feel alright’’

  • @ktqkudra4313
    @ktqkudra4313 3 года назад +5080

    2 mins. Silence for those who still can't find this song, after hearing 1st time by chance!!

  • @Maisxxn
    @Maisxxn 6 лет назад +820

    This song speaks to me on a personal level because being depressed without a reason can be worse than having a reason because then you’re constantly searching for that reason then you find more causes and more and more until your first memory then realise you don’t know then think you’re just a joke so I relate to this song on a personal level

    • @twincardinal5649
      @twincardinal5649 6 лет назад +32

      Its the worst being depressed for no reason cause there is no solution that is clear, just lean on family and friends, they help a lot, your not alone.

    • @gracenolikeu9969
      @gracenolikeu9969 6 лет назад +14

      I honestly feel the same way for a while I though if it was just wanting attention or something but I know that’s not me so idk i relate to this song to on a personal level and don’t talk about it with anyone to seem like it’s just for attention cause idek myself what is wrong

    • @shawnpiercd5329
      @shawnpiercd5329 6 лет назад +3

      #BillieEllie 😐 facts tho

    • @mozard8304
      @mozard8304 6 лет назад

      What

    • @stefankriminskiy9977
      @stefankriminskiy9977 6 лет назад +5

      me too, i lost a game in league of legends

  • @FortniteKid
    @FortniteKid 6 лет назад +10764

    I showed this to my grass now it's weed

    • @kleiton__
      @kleiton__ 6 лет назад +233

      mine's dead

    • @oneasianman688
      @oneasianman688 6 лет назад +18

      ruclips.net/video/6Dh-RL__uN4/видео.html

    • @ilai1215
      @ilai1215 6 лет назад +66

      I am trying to figure the fuck out what you writong i am high af rn

    • @casiopea12
      @casiopea12 6 лет назад +47

      Mine caught on fire 🔥

    • @gngsehit
      @gngsehit 6 лет назад +10

      sTeAlEd

  • @Simpson195
    @Simpson195 10 месяцев назад +7

    I hate the fact RUclips has a warning when you play this song but this song is about NOT killing yourself.

  • @null8319
    @null8319 7 лет назад +129

    "Just wanna be able to close my eyes and just feel alright"

  • @333doom
    @333doom 5 лет назад +492

    90% of comments are:
    "Sad gang where you at?" and "I'm not sad I'm depressed."
    10% of the comments are:
    "Great song"

  • @michaeldolenak5950
    @michaeldolenak5950 4 года назад +264

    TL;DR: from one depressed person to another, it finally got better.
    Nobody will probably read this but: it does get better. I am thankful to have survived up to the point of writing this comment. Over 12 years(half my life) of battling severe depression, where 6 of those years I would contemplate thoughts of my death every day, where every night I went to bed begging never to wake up again. Where I never planned for a future because I didnt think i would make it past 23 years of age. Doing whatever to fill the void within myself; drugs, material things, trying to fit in with ANYONE i thought might bring me happiness. It felt like nothing worked and i would daily fight a battle within myself to stay alive, no matter how many times I tried. Its been a really rough last few years especially, but ive gained so much wisdom, and now my life revolves around giving as much support to the Brain Health (mental health) community as i can give back. The world isnt perfect and my life is far from good. But now, adversity in life the end of the world for me. Self destructive behaviors are not my coping mechanisms anymore, in fact im currently figuring out which tattoos I can do to cover up my scars, and trust me, i know what its like. I just hope maybe one person who might read this believes this, because truthfully I know i wouldnt have before. You are loved.

    • @michaeldolenak5950
      @michaeldolenak5950 4 года назад +3

      @DaddyPool 420 my dude, you have so much life left to live. I was there in that position at 14 too. It fuckin sucks sometimes, and it sometimes just feels like there's no way out, but there is. There's a practice I learned to pick up on that helped me begin the see the better side of things. Every day, at night or when you wake up, think of 3 things you saw that either made your day better or if you see an act of kindness whether its to you or another person. If you do this for 21 days, your brain has an actual physical change. Hang in there, and please, if you ever feel like you're not in a safe place, reach out. There are so many people and support out there. Keep fighting, I sincerely fucking promise you that it get better, and one day you're gonna apoligize to yourself for not knowing your worth.

    • @afd4055
      @afd4055 4 года назад +2

      Lira mira diyon kardeş noliyo

    • @barkenmeows763
      @barkenmeows763 4 года назад

      by who..

    • @blacktulip2006
      @blacktulip2006 4 года назад +1

      But why are you here when it get's better?

    • @michaeldolenak5950
      @michaeldolenak5950 4 года назад +5

      @@blacktulip2006 because even tho I'm better, I still feel this way from time to time. And thats okay. I recognize the emotions for what they are, and then let them pass. All things pass in life, and emotions are temporary

  • @daisythereaper3336
    @daisythereaper3336 2 года назад +12

    This is what my anxiety and my depression does to me it actually makes me feel numb and i hate it it makes me feel like i want to live i love this lyric though cause it kept me alive for 18 years so far "just wanna be able to close my eyes and be able to feel alright but everyday i feel like dying" also at the end of the day i have to cry myself to sleep cause of it :(

  • @jennadurbin3538
    @jennadurbin3538 5 лет назад +99

    "But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options. Gotta work till I'm dead, so that they get the best."

    • @SaiTheForgotten
      @SaiTheForgotten 5 лет назад +1

      Meirl and probs us irl

    • @Venlysi
      @Venlysi 5 лет назад

      no its “put a bitch in a coffin”

  • @goranschkreblin8769
    @goranschkreblin8769 5 лет назад +2811

    When my mom asks me whats wrong i just say im tired because i dont have the heart to say the lady who gave me life that i dont want it nomore

    • @sosiiaa6371
      @sosiiaa6371 5 лет назад +189

      Bro,you destroy my heart right now

    • @ryahacorn806
      @ryahacorn806 5 лет назад +23

      Goran Škreblin facts :(

    • @daboiiz6266
      @daboiiz6266 5 лет назад +24

      @@goranschkreblin8769 ik man just keep living it

    • @kostass.1023
      @kostass.1023 5 лет назад +54

      same dude...we just waiting and waiting..but until when?

    • @RogueWRLD999
      @RogueWRLD999 5 лет назад +6

      @@goranschkreblin8769 it is😖

  • @Thatcharmingjokester
    @Thatcharmingjokester 3 года назад +696

    This song is the definition of how I feel every day.

    • @alexdanieloliveira2294
      @alexdanieloliveira2294 3 года назад +12

      If you need help Go talk to your friends, family and People you Trust, Life can Be Great full of Good memories and experiences and Will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it, If necessary search for help in the internet and If you can afford it call a therapist "ending your Life is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" so many People that tried to end it changed their minds and are glad to Be alive,. we all have the dark chapter of our lives but you can pass through it by the way do not Be shy to call for help

    • @Thatcharmingjokester
      @Thatcharmingjokester 3 года назад +6

      @@alexdanieloliveira2294 I know. And thank you. I'm not gonna die, I can assure you that

    • @BrailleGamer04
      @BrailleGamer04 2 года назад +3

      yep same here

    • @sharkloverlife4820
      @sharkloverlife4820 2 года назад +3

      Same

    • @BrailleGamer04
      @BrailleGamer04 2 года назад +2

      yep mee too

  • @zealot1111
    @zealot1111 3 года назад +110

    2 years ago i was suicidal and used to hear this song a lot. But somehow i saved myself from it. But now, here i am, back again.

    • @johnthicc865
      @johnthicc865 2 года назад +14

      Same. But I have learned one thing. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem I heard those words from my therapist and we'll basically that's what has kept me going. So just stay strong and you will make it.❤️

    • @subahanqutubuddini235
      @subahanqutubuddini235 2 года назад +1

      Me too. 2 years ago. But I'm good now. I never lost hope

    • @yazenalmafalani4138
      @yazenalmafalani4138 2 года назад +2

      Hope you’re doing better now man

    • @escolarianaccountLASPINAS
      @escolarianaccountLASPINAS 2 года назад

      Good for you my g

    • @Goobert234
      @Goobert234 Год назад

      you got this man!

  • @de4dg1rl73
    @de4dg1rl73 4 года назад +3191

    I wanna die, but at the same time. I feel like, I dont wanna die

    • @zashinunes8191
      @zashinunes8191 4 года назад +7

      🙇🏻‍♂️

    • @discodude4231
      @discodude4231 4 года назад +19

      youll get over it i did

    • @web9452
      @web9452 4 года назад +50

      Dont end it. What if there is nothing after? Make the best of what you can while alive. Be a good person and hopefully there is a god and an afterlife. But if there isnt atleast make what time you have here the best possible.

    • @nteachristou3909
      @nteachristou3909 4 года назад +4

      Don't

    • @nifou5677
      @nifou5677 4 года назад +4

      Same

  • @asrieldreemurr5073
    @asrieldreemurr5073 6 лет назад +766

    I told my friend once that i'm depressed and he was just like "Just be happy"
    Smh

    • @thevzil9462
      @thevzil9462 6 лет назад +46

      Cam L
      depression isn’t just sadness 😐

    • @jonipihvi
      @jonipihvi 6 лет назад +28

      just smile lmao

    • @legoyoda256
      @legoyoda256 6 лет назад +19

      @@jonipihvi dont be sad lmao

    • @MagicNote
      @MagicNote 6 лет назад +14

      ikr? like OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ADVICE?? THANK YOU SO MUCH!! NOW I'M GOING AND BEING HAPPY :))))))))))))))))))))))

    • @yee2494
      @yee2494 6 лет назад +6

      See a fucking doctor if your depressed

  • @Joshua47
    @Joshua47 7 лет назад +81

    This song is genius. It’s one of those songs where you want to play it on repeat 24/7
    But you know if you do
    You’ll ruin it for yourself

    • @mmmcrackers6290
      @mmmcrackers6290 7 лет назад +2

      Joshua 47 I’ve already listened to it 26 times...I counted. This song never gets old on my opinion lmao

    • @axmoylotl
      @axmoylotl 7 лет назад +4

      on reapeaat for like 2 hours now, i'm drawing, and, i'm kidna going insane but it's still good.

    • @NukeHead
      @NukeHead 7 лет назад +1

      Man, I’m writing raps to this song. (About 1 hour every track)

  • @BFGofficial2
    @BFGofficial2 Год назад +4

    This song is a therapy for all of us.

  • @ghostimilkies6740
    @ghostimilkies6740 4 года назад +63

    My parents recently ended their relationship and I am about 12... I have to be there for my brother at the end of the day... I had to promise my father I wouldn't give up on him. This song really helps me get through everything, thank you.

    • @whitefang2925
      @whitefang2925 4 года назад +11

      Hey kid ... I know things are tough right now. I won't pretend to understand your home situation and how you feel, but as someone who's family still has both parents who are constantly clawing at each other's throats ... maybe it's for the best. Nevertheless, I hope you and your Dad are doing alright. I know things stark right now, but someday, things will get better.

    • @danielvillavilla7749
      @danielvillavilla7749 3 года назад +4

      ay man as someone whose lived with this shit since like 1 ik how it feels man just its gonna be tough i cant lie but as long as u got ur brother and hes got u u can get through this ight my brother is the reason i didnt crumble when that happened to u man just keep ur head up man ight

    • @ТолибжановХусен
      @ТолибжановХусен 3 года назад +2

      I hope u ar doing alright if yes, say smth.

    • @Femtanyls_biggest_fan
      @Femtanyls_biggest_fan 3 года назад

      Month or two, you will be ok bro its normal these times

  • @lubomir8619
    @lubomir8619 6 лет назад +568

    its a shame that this guy and x will never collab, a big shame

    • @d1rekt869
      @d1rekt869 6 лет назад +17

      thank you now im about to cry

    • @corpseriot_
      @corpseriot_ 6 лет назад +5

      Стильный паркер awww they would have been a good collaboration 😪

    • @tillyrobyn5763
      @tillyrobyn5763 6 лет назад +12

      Sean Sparandero you cant call all feminists fucking idiots because 20 or so women and some men said he beat his wife,feminists fight for equal rights,extreme feminists are the ones that take it too far

    • @jacobbaldridge4451
      @jacobbaldridge4451 6 лет назад +9

      @Sean Sparandero he actually did beat his wife 😂

    • @nothing.9484
      @nothing.9484 6 лет назад +2

      Ikr X'C

  • @x4x_shadow_x4x66
    @x4x_shadow_x4x66 7 лет назад +170

    I respect this song. It has a great meaning and there’s not a lot of songs that I can relate to when I’m depressed cuz there either about killing yourself (which I have no intentions on doing) or is just a sad story type of song. But this song is just one of those unique songs that I can really relate to and which is why I have so much respect for this song

    • @SundewRed
      @SundewRed 7 лет назад +3

      x4x_Shadow_x4x Judging by what you want, you may want to check out some of the older twenty one pilots songs. Some of them touch on suicide, but stuff from Regional at Best and their self titled album might be your cup of tea. Check out songs like fall away or clear if you like the rap stuff.

    • @OhItsKobi
      @OhItsKobi 6 лет назад +2

      Not everyone wants to be on medication and not everyone who feels depressed needs it. There is a difference between feeling down and actually having depression that requires medical assessment.

    • @OhItsKobi
      @OhItsKobi 6 лет назад +3

      Shadow, I agree. This song describes how I feel almost everyday. I think about suicide almost daily but it's not like I want to go plan my death, sometimes I just want to not exist, or wish that I never did exist.
      It's hard to explain to someone who never experiences that.

    • @elainegreen3523
      @elainegreen3523 6 лет назад

      I experience that everyday

  • @Dudja
    @Dudja 2 года назад +1

    Amazing song

  • @laynekillsback5262
    @laynekillsback5262 3 года назад +32

    Living life is the worst pain I'm going thru. Being alive is something i don't wanna do but ofc ppl are forcing me to do something i don't wanna do again

    • @alexdaniel5641
      @alexdaniel5641 3 года назад +1

      If you need help go talk to your friends, family and people you trust, life can be great so dont waste it, and also dont worry everything is gonna be better after the pandemic ends so just wait, keep going foward because life is full of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of suicide survivors remember that they changed their mind mid-suicide and are glad to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet, call the suicide hotline and if you can afford a therapist too because i worry about you "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

  • @someguyinthecomments370
    @someguyinthecomments370 5 лет назад +3326

    Showed this song to my teacher
    Now he's my therapist

    • @Xiroh
      @Xiroh 5 лет назад +58

      Some guy in the comments
      Relatable

    • @tuc07770
      @tuc07770 5 лет назад +28

      Some guy in the comments that’s a good one lol

    • @leonung9789
      @leonung9789 5 лет назад +20

      Some guy in the comments showed this to my girl just now. She probably gonna hug me and cry. Oops. But what can I say it’s a great song that I could relate to

    • @leonung9789
      @leonung9789 5 лет назад +2

      Go Lol who u talking to

    • @leonung9789
      @leonung9789 5 лет назад +4

      Go Lol he is probably young dude. My 5 year old brother watches stuff like that all the time. Y u gotta pick on him for the stuff he likes?

  • @07JoJoINC
    @07JoJoINC 5 лет назад +91

    X and Ski
    Now Jake Hill and Josh A.
    Legendary duos

    • @lozi247
      @lozi247 5 лет назад

      no what are you on

  • @Jibbzz
    @Jibbzz 2 года назад +4

    Whoa. Odd how this almost perfectly encapsulated my own struggle. The thoughts are there but the intent isn't, and lots of people I've opened up to don't understand the distinction. Accepting the feelings, moving past them, and fighting every damn day to escape the mire in our minds. Good lyrics and flow.

  • @degre_5261
    @degre_5261 7 лет назад +5100

    I bought the album... if anyone has second thoughts... BUY IT

    • @zerowolfblade
      @zerowolfblade 7 лет назад +33

      Brayden Degre it's not on Google play store so I can't buy it. Like come on that's garbage

    • @degre_5261
      @degre_5261 7 лет назад +23

      Zero Wolfblade that fucking sucks

    • @iamactuallyjakehill
      @iamactuallyjakehill  7 лет назад +128

      Zero Wolfblade It will be soon. I set the release date way too early which means it probably won’t hit every store at the exact same time. Give it a few more days

    • @Luis-ym9or
      @Luis-ym9or 7 лет назад +6

      Zero Wolfblade spotify

    • @bulten5275
      @bulten5275 7 лет назад +6

      Brayden Degre don’t you have apple music? All music there is free.

  • @PuffDaGoat
    @PuffDaGoat 5 лет назад +742

    _i just want a hug •~•_

    • @unfed-amg
      @unfed-amg 5 лет назад +8

      Same

    • @outis8159
      @outis8159 4 года назад +21

      I know it doesn't mean a lot, but here's a spiritual hug (◍•ᴗ•◍)

    • @hiddenkensho8780
      @hiddenkensho8780 4 года назад +19

      Puff -_- i just want this girl to love me the way i love her

    • @lucky_luke20030
      @lucky_luke20030 4 года назад +6

      Ghost hug, you cant feel it but it's there \^-^/

    • @Internetuser435
      @Internetuser435 4 года назад +2

      🤗 here

  • @cosmeticstew244
    @cosmeticstew244 6 лет назад +1115

    So close to 1 mil
    Edit: we did it, Jake you deserve it

    • @dankable8593
      @dankable8593 6 лет назад +3

      You mean 100K right?

    • @UnYoYT
      @UnYoYT 6 лет назад +13

      he meant views

    • @logancrout
      @logancrout 6 лет назад +3

      Yo getting close to 2mil lets get it!!!

    • @HighGuy69
      @HighGuy69 6 лет назад +1

      1.8mil my dude

    • @janhenrik4170
      @janhenrik4170 6 лет назад +5

      Dankable you're stupid

  • @therealkayr15
    @therealkayr15 3 года назад +491

    Little boy: are you an angel?
    Girl: um...no...
    Little boy: My mother told me that people who have marked wrists are angels, and often they are broken by this world, so they try to get back to heaven.
    Girl: You know your mother is very wise.
    Little boy: I know. She was an angel as well, but she already returned home.

    • @a.m.5581
      @a.m.5581 3 года назад +17

      This copypasta older than time lol

    • @user_sx125
      @user_sx125 3 года назад +9

      that shit is deep

    • @kpoplovertrinityh9805
      @kpoplovertrinityh9805 3 года назад +7

      Damn it still gets me every time

    • @AdaminTranzit
      @AdaminTranzit 3 года назад +5

      But it's a sin to... Okay

    • @AdaminTranzit
      @AdaminTranzit 3 года назад +3

      @linkgame 2999 you shut up.
      I'm just saying and you being rude is not helping.

  • @kashootmyself9799
    @kashootmyself9799 5 лет назад +633

    i like how this is the guy who made an outro for PewDiePie

    • @Venlysi
      @Venlysi 5 лет назад +2

      kashoot myself ikr

    • @thecoolkar
      @thecoolkar 5 лет назад +15

      kashoot myself for real?

    • @gae1_vb
      @gae1_vb 5 лет назад +9

      And tobyonthetele

    • @bryceh2163
      @bryceh2163 5 лет назад

      I only like the comment because kashoot is funny

    • @dog_on_chair
      @dog_on_chair 5 лет назад +2

      u_don't_ _need_my_name ayy someone else knows lol

  • @raemavl296
    @raemavl296 6 лет назад +225

    Happiness has left the chat

    • @NariNon
      @NariNon 6 лет назад +5

      Depression has joined the chat.

    • @Inseptex
      @Inseptex 6 лет назад +6

      Death has joined the chat

    • @nooraiwa4
      @nooraiwa4 6 лет назад

      (edited)

  • @alice4086
    @alice4086 5 лет назад +51

    This song is so catchy. Especially the beginning 🖤

    • @chemicalturtle5677
      @chemicalturtle5677 5 лет назад +1

      It's not catchy it's just great lol

    • @hani-1642
      @hani-1642 5 лет назад +2

      @@chemicalturtle5677 let people give their opinion in peace..

  • @reb287
    @reb287 2 года назад +2

    My comfort song I used to listen this nonstop 2020-2021 and now I'm not sayin that Im free from struggling with my mental health just not as bad as last year. Whoever is struggling with their mental health now I hope one day you will found your lost soul that you've been questioning if you had one.

  • @iamactuallyjakehill
    @iamactuallyjakehill  7 лет назад +3569

    Me and Josh are on Spotify:
    Jake: open.spotify.com/artist/26JloX1vHxGGrGUVeMItFJ?si=I6ATO_LaTv-nm7ukx2eVjw
    Josh A: open.spotify.com/artist/2rWCIhENZyPVDAeFC0ESWN?si=iNGYk35CSgS7PVDUwYRV4w

  • @Furnikki
    @Furnikki 4 года назад +45

    I kept listening to this in my suicidal days hoping someone would notice and help me.
    It didn't work, nobody helped.
    If you have dark or suicidal thoughts, please go seek help.
    Talk to someone you trust.
    if you don't have anyone you trust to talk about it then there is a lot of phone number you can call or do everything to stop yourself from doing the act of killing yourself.
    If you know you can't control yourself anymore and know you will act on your thought, please go to the nearest hospital or police station.
    They will do everything in their power to prevent bad things to happen.
    Mabey nobody tells you this enough but we love you.
    No matter who you are or where you from, we love you.
    If you didn't understand it yet, I love you and please seek help.

  • @jb17415
    @jb17415 7 лет назад +305

    Jake, you matter

    • @reallylad9254
      @reallylad9254 7 лет назад +39

      SloppyJoe DON'T FORGET ABOUT OUR HOMIE JOSH A, HE MATTERS TOO, REAL SHIT

    • @2girls1frank
      @2girls1frank 6 лет назад +1

      LeviWTF lmao fr

    • @Oltys
      @Oltys 6 лет назад +1

      フランク what is your name exactly I understand some parts but not all

    • @niklas100ish
      @niklas100ish 6 лет назад +1

      it translates into frank

    • @Oltys
      @Oltys 6 лет назад +1

      Kazath Shieldbane thanks mate I'm trying to learn the kanji but it's a bit difficult

  • @Luna_Lilith01
    @Luna_Lilith01 8 месяцев назад +4

    Been listening to this banger since I was 13 and id listen and cry alone. and now I'm 21 and I still cry. I'm tired and although my life is different now, I still feel depressed even tho I'm on antidepressants and this crippling mental health issues keep racking up and I feel like I'm slowly going insane 🥲

    • @espinoname2988
      @espinoname2988 6 месяцев назад

      I get you, I'm 25 and I've also had issues since 13. Although for me its improved between 15-19 and then started going worse and worse. I also sometimes feel like I'm slowly going crazy and get scared of myself. I hope that with time we can both get to feel better. I send you all my strength and best wishes. ❤💪🏻

  • @haydendell5914
    @haydendell5914 4 года назад +41

    Never realize how hard this hit until you’re going through it yourself

    • @noob7751
      @noob7751 4 года назад

      i never will,im not a moron like these idiots are. You need nothing for hapynis

    • @prashantdhirde9577
      @prashantdhirde9577 4 года назад

      @@noob7751 what are you talking about

    • @noob7751
      @noob7751 4 года назад

      @@prashantdhirde9577 the truth

  • @haldosa8898
    @haldosa8898 6 лет назад +212

    You remind of NF
    Your songs have basically the same context, legit lyrics, no mumble, pure rap

    • @user-ee2vn3fg4w
      @user-ee2vn3fg4w 6 лет назад +8

      I love both of them, they're amazing.♡

    • @skeletizer
      @skeletizer 6 лет назад +1

      True

    • @FoxyyAJ
      @FoxyyAJ 6 лет назад

      SaVaGe Fluffy yes!

    • @dylantippery7843
      @dylantippery7843 6 лет назад

      NF is great, I stopped listening to him around after How Could you leave us. I haven't heard anything from him in a while

    • @jacobj7343
      @jacobj7343 6 лет назад

      Love this song and love nf just waiting for him to release his new album

  • @Fishemi
    @Fishemi 3 года назад +28

    Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.
    - Richard

  • @rayannathomas1
    @rayannathomas1 Год назад +1

    This song always makes me cry. One of those songs that is overwhelmingly accurate.

  • @reeve6775
    @reeve6775 5 лет назад +36

    Every day you feel like dying
    Every day I feel like crying because of the things from the past

  • @kolipzd2k127
    @kolipzd2k127 4 года назад +340

    Me : Mom i think im depressed
    Mom : Yes bcs you play too much computer.
    Me : I wanna die.

    • @Dex_7_7
      @Dex_7_7 4 года назад +1

      sameee

    • @kingkool5592
      @kingkool5592 4 года назад +3

      Omfg really that’s so dumb

    • @gustav1337
      @gustav1337 4 года назад +1

      c r i n g e

    • @samreenfsl3603
      @samreenfsl3603 4 года назад

      Yuh! 🤘

    • @garrickteglovic8904
      @garrickteglovic8904 4 года назад +4

      All my parents want to do is blame my problems on me using my computer or the internet. Just makes me more angry and upset. They don’t listen

  • @ThaGuiOvaDare
    @ThaGuiOvaDare 4 года назад +24

    After 18 yrs, 3 kids, and cheated on several times, I am out of that relationship, and found the woman who makes me want to be the man I can, I found this song when I had some bad thoughts... I needed this.

  • @YourBasicPatriot
    @YourBasicPatriot 3 года назад +3

    Man the old depressed days 😞 this song always has a spot In my hart, I was lucky enough to find happyness again unlike others.

  • @shaquiquijones2197
    @shaquiquijones2197 3 года назад +218

    This song hits different at full volume at 2 am

    • @ZIADD
      @ZIADD 3 года назад +2

      Ikr

    • @Femtanyls_biggest_fan
      @Femtanyls_biggest_fan 3 года назад +4

      Listening this at 4am rn

    • @LadySasha2115
      @LadySasha2115 3 года назад +1

      listen to gucci coffin, u might like it

    • @XILEAYY
      @XILEAYY 3 года назад

      where i am rn

    • @Satyammm247
      @Satyammm247 2 года назад

      It is 4 :45 in India and I am listening it right now
      It gives me goosebumps

  • @briannaharder3866
    @briannaharder3866 6 лет назад +22

    Honestly I think my favorite part of the song is when he says he doesnt know why he writes songs about partying when he's been dealing with those demons. Idk why, but I think it's because I like the self awareness.

  • @mikeicey-
    @mikeicey- 7 лет назад +42

    Jake Hill & Josh A. - Suicidal Thoughts LYRICS
    (Put these together listening, correct me if I'm wrong.)
    I'm not suicidal,
    I don't wanna fucking die.
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright;
    But everyday I feel like dying,
    Everyday I feel like dying.
    Why do I even try?
    Why do I even write,
    Lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night.
    Trying to find a new outlet,
    The Devil pouncing,
    I hear him howling.
    My vision clouding,
    Man I try to escape but there ain't no way,
    Try to be strong and deal with the pain.
    Yeah
    But I'm ditching the coffin,
    So my family has options.
    Gonna work till I'm dead,
    So that they get the best.
    Don't wanna set up a bad example,
    'Cause kids looking up,
    Can't leave em' in shambles.
    Can't make them think like a nutso case,
    So fuck suicide I'm here to stay.
    Try to free my mind,
    I don't know what's right,
    Wasting all my time,
    Trying to find the light. (x2)
    I'll be out an running,
    I'll be running for myself now.
    Gunning demons down,
    Find my way out of this hell now. (x2)
    I'm not suicidal,
    I don't wanna fucking die.
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright;
    But everyday I feel like dying,
    Everyday I feel like dying.
    One too many bad thoughts inside me,
    Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me,
    I'm pressed for time,
    I'm stressed with life,
    My breath is ice.
    I guess I might just bottle it up some more,
    Just like always,
    Barely stand to crawl down the hallway,
    Sink into my bed,
    With death inside my head.
    Yeah
    That note you found,
    I didn't mean it.
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning.
    Never meant to let you down,
    I been down n' out,
    Racing thoughts I had to draw em' out.
    Fuck,
    Never given in,
    I swear to God,
    No matter how many times I prayed to a God I don't believe in,
    Just to see if I would ever wake up,
    But he called my bluff
    Trying to free my mind,
    I don't know what's right,
    Wasting all my time,
    Trying to find the light. (2x)
    I'll be out an running,
    I'll be running for myself now.
    Gunning demons down,
    Find my way out of this hell now. (2x)
    I'm not suicidal,
    I don't wanna fucking die.
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright;
    But everyday I feel like dying,
    Everyday I feel like dying.
    (I'm not suicidal,
    I don't wanna fucking die.
    Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright;
    But everyday I feel like dying,
    Everyday I feel like dying).
    I really hope this is pretty accurate.

  • @shannonlunn878
    @shannonlunn878 2 года назад +2

    I love that this now has the number for the good samaritans, youtube is aware enough of who is listening to know we ain't alright

  • @lorens1496
    @lorens1496 4 года назад +22

    Its funny how It hits different depends on situations, for me like being depressed and suicidal for like 8 years, it hits more the more you have enough of fighting every day, so I hope every one of you will have a good life. this song is masterpiece

    • @alexdanieloliveira2294
      @alexdanieloliveira2294 3 года назад

      If you need help Go talk to your friends,family and People you Trust, Life can Be Great só dont waste it, dont worry after the pandemic ends everything is gonna Be better, a lot of suicide survivors changed their mind mid-suicide and are glad to Be Alive, keep going foward for your family and friends, Life is a adventure full of Good memories and Good experiences, If necessary call the suicide hotline and maybe even a therapist and search for help in the internet like r/suicidewatch "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" i worry about you my friend

  • @camillerivas5955
    @camillerivas5955 5 лет назад +2372

    I'm not scared of death I've already lived longer than I expected

  • @muresanadrian1032
    @muresanadrian1032 4 года назад +122

    Lyrics
    [Chorus: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 1: Josh A]
    Why do I even try?
    Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night
    Trying to find a new outlet
    The devil pouncin'
    I hear him howlin', my vision cloudin'
    Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
    Try to be strong when I deal with the pain (yuh)
    But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options
    Gotta work till' I'm dead
    So that they get the best
    Don't wanna set up a bad example cause the kids looking up
    Can't leave in shambles can't make them think clocking out's ok
    So fuck suicide I'm here to stay
    [Bridge: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light (Nah, man)
    I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now
    Gunnin' demons down find my way out of this hell now
    I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now
    Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now
    [Chorus: Jake Hill]
    I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
    I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
    But every day I feel like dying
    Every day I feel like dying (dying...)
    [Verse 2: Jake Hill]
    One too many bad thoughts inside me
    Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
    I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
    I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
    Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
    Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
    (Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it
    Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
    Never meant to let you down
    I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out (Fuck)
    Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god
    I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up
    But he called my bluff
    [Bridge: Josh A]
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    Try to free my mind
    I don't know what's right
    Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
    (nah, man)
    I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now
    Gunnin' demons down find my way out of this hell now
    I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now
    Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now

  • @OverLordOfficial889
    @OverLordOfficial889 Год назад +2

    None of yall are alone. Don't be afraid to cry. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Your all beautiful people.

  • @loser7092
    @loser7092 6 лет назад +523

    Suicidal is the definition of giving up:
    Like, when something bad happens to you, you don't ever wish "I wish my life was better.." or "I'll do something to fix this."
    Being suicidal is like when something bad happend you say, "That's it. That's all I can take and I'm ready to go."
    No, I have never said to myself "Oh, I wish my life could go better. I don't deserve this.." I just give up and shut down saying, "There's only one way to get out of this."
    I've tricked myself into thinking that nothing goes right for me, and that's it.

    • @energyvanquish
      @energyvanquish 6 лет назад +20

      JayJay Sanderson simply being at your breaking point. There’s only so much someone can take and I can relate to what you’re saying more than I wish to admit but I’ve got people who rely on me and I guess you do too even if you don’t notice. So do me a favour and everyone else who also cares and stay strong. There’s always a solution to every situation even if you may not see it. That’s why you need people around you to show you the other options. You got this fam ✌️

    • @clink0123
      @clink0123 6 лет назад +8

      I have had thoughts, but I'd rather not commit the action and give myself a purpose. If people are able to give themselves a purpose, you are set

    • @udijj8196
      @udijj8196 6 лет назад +1

      the sad truth is your right
      we should all be like this not suicidal

    • @chyaaaaaaaaa
      @chyaaaaaaaaa 6 лет назад +1

      neurosis is a bitch.

    • @xlxn7399
      @xlxn7399 6 лет назад +5

      I don't know how, but I got rid of my depression. I never spoke to anyone about it, neither someone noticed. It was hella tough, but I made it through. I didn't say anything like 'I'm gonna get through this' and stuff, I was constantly telling myself that I'm a mistake, a loser, a nobody. And now I feel like a normal person, and I am happy and healthy now, which is the most important thing. Stay strong everyone, but DON'T do what I did.

  • @tukii6159
    @tukii6159 5 лет назад +773

    When Depression and Anxiety kick in the middle of class :)

    • @yeah7174
      @yeah7174 5 лет назад +6

      Exactly. :)

    • @nicoteaco4812
      @nicoteaco4812 5 лет назад +3

      All the time

    • @kevinharmse8656
      @kevinharmse8656 5 лет назад +1

      I hope you're better now

    • @lickras
      @lickras 5 лет назад +8

      @@kevinharmse8656 doesn't work like that

    • @nicoteaco4812
      @nicoteaco4812 5 лет назад +8

      And then you cant get anything done and then the teacher sends you to the office and it gets worse

  • @helloworld4896
    @helloworld4896 6 лет назад +2486

    *Depression has left the chat*
    *wait...nevermind.*

    • @leahparker4607
      @leahparker4607 6 лет назад +34

      Hello World happiness has left the chat
      Love is disconnected error 404

    • @KingofFray
      @KingofFray 6 лет назад +14

      Monika.chr has joined the chat

    • @bdhshstuff9700
      @bdhshstuff9700 6 лет назад +6

      Yes it has and dont let is back in let happyniss back in

    • @redzclan8429
      @redzclan8429 5 лет назад +3

      Lol what I literally think

    • @pandalionuwu
      @pandalionuwu 5 лет назад +3

      *don’t keep it in*

  • @kimjongun1
    @kimjongun1 2 года назад +3

    You people know this is a song about suicidal thoughts, just wanting to feel okay, and not actually unaliving yourself.

  • @nohjjgghju7uyh
    @nohjjgghju7uyh 4 года назад +3161

    Singer *kills them selves*
    Fans "i wish we knew 😭🤧"
    The singers songs

  • @00au
    @00au 6 лет назад +139

    im not suicidal, i dont wanna fuckin die!
    my fav line..

    • @muldanrahmat8832
      @muldanrahmat8832 5 лет назад +2

      I'm Suicidal I Want Fuckin Died My Fav Line

    • @ritz2704
      @ritz2704 5 лет назад +1

      @@muldanrahmat8832 same

    • @muldanrahmat8832
      @muldanrahmat8832 5 лет назад

      @@ritz2704 Sorry To Hear That Man It Be Like That Sometimes

  • @kodybarnett4962
    @kodybarnett4962 5 лет назад +29

    Depression has forever settled in my room and we are now roommates

    • @user-mx9wd1eq9b
      @user-mx9wd1eq9b 5 лет назад +1

      Kody Barnett It is sadly a shadow in my head. Always there, never going away. Every once in awhile it invites it’s friend suicidal thoughts over

  • @Bullmann55
    @Bullmann55 2 года назад +14

    5 year anniversary and it still helps me cope

  • @rugile7200
    @rugile7200 4 года назад +2389

    I sent this to my mom
    She replied with: YOU SMOKE?!
    edit: No, I don't smoke, mom
    Edit 2: it's been 5 months, things worked out, it's fine yall, thanks for the support omg

  • @contractorhomes
    @contractorhomes 5 лет назад +533

    Showed this to my grades...
    They were an F and didnt change

  • @ineonfox4787
    @ineonfox4787 3 года назад +40

    I remember I listened to this song like 2 years ago when I was pretty much depressed (undiagnosed tho, so can't fully claim that)
    It kinda helped me to go through these tough times. I believe you guys also gonna get better!